Vol. 51 No. 4 Published by the Minnesota State High School Coaches Association May 2013
Creating a Place of Belonging At the end of the eight-hour school day, students walk through the doors and gates of our gyms, rinks, pools, courts and fields to be a part of the high school sports experience. They show up with a backpack of ‘stuff’ they have acquired throughout their day: stuff that includes friends, popularity, comparison, teachers, being in, being out, academic content, who’s who, success, failure, clichés, boyfriends, girlfriends, acceptance and rejection, just to name a few. The reality for students is that much of their day includes uncertainty, where they stand in shifting sand, where a firm footing is almost impossible to find. Many students are looking for a place where they will be accepted. They are looking for a place where they don’t have to pretend and they can show up as their authentic selves. They want a place where they don’t have to try to fit in. They want a safe place where they belong. Dr. Brene’ Brown, author of Daring Greatly, states: “Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” When students are connected to an experience and they have a relationship with an adult who really cares about them, one who allows them to show up as themselves, belonging and a sense of security follows. Think about your own playing experiences. Can you recall a coach to whom you were connected—one who accepted you for you and created a safe place where you belonged? If this was your experience, it didn’t happen accidentally. It happened because your coach understood his or her role and intentionally created that space. It happens today for students when we as coaches choose to be aware of our students’ deeper needs and intentionally create a place of belonging.
When a coach is aware of their purpose and creates this place of belonging and connection, it is called TEAM. When TEAM is intentionally created, students can walk through the practice door at the end of the school day and instead of clutching their backpacks, they can put them down. When this happens the conditions are right for students to experience more than what is on the surface—the game. When we intentionally create this place the conditions are right for deeper, life-changing experiences where work can be done collectively to reach a common goal; where everyone has a role; where students can be themselves and are also aware that they are part of something greater than themselves; and where learning, growth and connection are the purpose. There has to be more. We have to provide students with more. We have to give them something that will live beyond the span of their four years in high school. We have to get below the surface and get to their deeper needs where greater opportunities for growth and development exist. We must intentionally give students experiences that are about more than just the game and instead are relevant to real life; real . . . continued on page 4
Featured In This Issue Final Winter Team Academics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Hodge Podge Golf . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Scholarship Winners . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44-45
Clinic Information Volleyball . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Cross Country . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32-33 Soccer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45-46
w w w. m s h s c a . o r g