Foster Families Spring 2010 Sample by Foster Families Magazine

foster families

Spring 2010 Issue Four

Online

WIN! Win a Pontin’s family break for four

You’re worth it

Moving nightmare

It’s MY room now

Top tips to minimise stress when moving on

Fantastic ways for kids to make their mark

Self esteem starts with you - how to build up confidence

“What a fabulous magazine. It was great to read people’s personal experiences,” Gemma, foster carer

Welcome

Spring 2010

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Welcome from the editor... Foster Families Order Form

Dear Reader, We’ve got some treats for you this issue! This is our fourth issue, meaning we’re coming up for a full year - and we’ve got some fantastic prizes to celebrate! We’ve also got some wonderful tips and practical advice to help you in your role as foster carer. Top experts have come on board to share their knowledge on all sorts from improving children’s diets one step at a time, to helping them feel at home by personalising their room. And you’ve shared your top tips too, so check those out! As always, we love to hear from you, and hope that you enjoy this issue as much as we have. If you’re reading the online version, you can subscribe to the full version for just £2 per copy at www.fosterfamilies.co.uk or by emailing subscriptions@fosterfamilies.co.uk - we’ve got lots more packed in! Ceressa Bateman, Editor

Fill in the form, crossing out as appropriate, and send it along with a cheque made payable to ‘Foster Families’, to: Subscriptions, Foster Families, Flat 2, 2a Brook Street, Worcester, WR1 1JA. Name: _____________________________ Address: ___________________________ ___________________________________ Postcode: ___________________________ Email Address: ______________________ Yearly subscription: £7 Paid by: Cheque/ Money transfer/PayPal Email subscriptions@fosterfamilies.co.uk for more payment options.

Meet the experts... Chris Graham, cookery teacher, shares some fun recipes you can try with the child in your care

Annette Webb, from Simply Fostering, is here as always to answer your questions

Mandy Watkins, interior designer, offers some no-cost ways to personalise that room

Jaqueline Siner, chartered psychologist, shares how to minimise stress for children when they move on

Susan Kelly, nutritional therapist, gives some tips on changing unhealthy diets one step at a time, to maintain some stability

foster families Spring 2010 Issue Four

£2

Moving to a new placement can cause a child anguish - follow this advice to make it easier

Win a Pontin’s holiday in our competition. Look out for our other fabulous prizes to be won

How can they feel settled in a room where so many come and go? Top tips to make it theirs

WIN! Win a Pontin’s family break for four

You’re worth it

Moving nightmare

It’s MY room now

Top tips to minimise stress when moving on

Fantastic ways for kids to make their mark

Self esteem starts with you - how to build up confidence

Help develop a child’s confidence and self esteem with these pointers

“What a fabulous magazine. It was great to read people’s personal experiences,” Gemma, foster carer

This is not the full version - to read all the articles, subscribe for just £7 per year. Email subscriptions@fosterfamilies.co.uk www.facebook.com/pages/Foster-Families-Magazine/144256428433

Photos: www.flickr.com/photos/johnjoh, www.flickr.com/photos/lordferguson/1561320157

Take a look at this issue’s cover stories

http://twitter.com/Foster_Families

Contents

Cover Photo: www.flickr.com/photos/jenrab/3436049269

Photos, clockwise from top left: www.flickr.com/photos/brook/19174372, www.flickr.com/photos/paulettesedgwick/4050204863, www.flickr.com/photos/ thejs/35408022, www.flickr.com/photos/seeveeaar/3335503224, www.flickr.com/photos/stuart_spivack/2483997108, Pink Sherbet Photography

Contents

Spring 2010

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Edition 4

Find out what great treats we have in store for you in the full version Spring edition of Foster Families

personal . . . a long and winding road stepping into the unknown cave of wonders for all the family ms. do right, don’t be blinded

education . . .

a care leaver’s search for home

book review ... Fiona Strachan looks at some top choices for adults and children... 27

our top tips ... your fostering tips... 13 special needs survival top tips ... 18 help kids connect with their family ... 24 top tips to minimise the stress of moving ... 26 our readers’ top five household tips ... 32 a healthier diet ... 34 your letters ... 38

competitions ... saronti books ...12 mediak cds ...21 cewe photobooks ...22 storybookstar books...27 kidsmusicshop dvds...37 pontin’s break ... 39

... 5 ... 17 ... 20 ... 23

... 6

support . . . foster care matters you’ve got a friend in me, CWDC mentor

... 8 ...15

parenting . . . build them up, promoting self esteem

... 9

information . . . let’s get together, more carers needed cashback for your kids

... 12 ... 14

advice . . . stealing - understand and treat it making full-time work moving - a child’s nightmare

... 13 ... 22 ... 25

home . . . making a child feel like part of the furniture... 29

food and health . . .

sex talks make you cringe? a book to help... 32 a healthier diet, one chip at a time ... 33 icely nicely, icing to decorate your cakes ... 35 chris’s cookery cards ... 36

fun stuff . . .

swap shop - trade your toys and prams ... 16 kids’ corner ... 37 crossword ... 39

This is not the full version - to read all the articles, subscribe for just £7 per year. Email subscriptions@ fosterfamilies.co.uk

The next issue of Foster Families is out in June 2010

Maths & English tuition For 5-14 year olds of all abilities Fantastic academic progress Use your Linda Johnson, Surrey County Council: I sent out a bulletin to all of the Surrey schools offering for a foster carer Personal to go in andEducation talk at an assembly about fostering, preferably when parents were present. (Some schools have sharing Confidence boosting assemblies when parents Allowance at attend). So far we have had 3 requests, and one talk has already taken place. The aim is to educate about fostering, and hopefuly pick up some applicants! We send the children home with a leaflet about Explore Learning! Meet new friends fostering and a bookmark.

What our members and their parents think “Tom has done amazingly well since coming to Explore. He is only in his second month of coming but already I have noticed an improvement in reading, maths and most of all confidence. I would recommend this to anyone. Tom loves it here!” Beaconsfield parent “Explore helps me with my school work, especially spellings, because it’s fun to learn” Harry, 7, Explore Learning member “Darcey enjoys attending sessions - her confidence has grown and it has benefitted her concentration skills immensely. Darcey’s teachers at school have also noticed these improvements. All this and she leaves in a happy mood skipping and smiling too!” Susan Mathers, parent

Free trial

“We have been overwhelmed by the staff at Explore. Their commitment, enthusiasm as well as professionalism. Excellent value for money” Mrs. Warren, parent

Call today to find out

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To find out how Explore can inspire your child, call your local centre to book a free trial session today.

Visit our website to find your nearest centre

www.explorelearning.org.uk

Personal

Spring 2010

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A long and winding road

Sara Meredith’s childhood dream to foster was a tough journey

Photos: (clockwise from top left) Alan and Sara; Livvy; Brodie Lea, Kennedy and Eden

was about 12 when I knew I wanted to be a foster carer. A new kid at school had just been fostered and was telling me all about how kind his new family were and what a difference they had made to his life. I thought it was amazing that someone would do that. Years later, before I got married, I informed my husband-to-be that I wanted six children of my own... and on top of that I wanted to foster loads more. Amazingly he still married me. We have four wonderful daughters; Kennedy is now 13, Eden is 12, Livvy, nine, and Brodie Lea is eight. Life didn’t go exactly how I’d planned. Our third child was born with a condition called Rett Syndrome and this left her severely disabled. However, this didn’t stop my plans

of fostering; it just changed them a little. I now wanted to foster children with special needs alongside my daughter. But this wasn’t to be. My beautiful daughter Livvy passed away in November 2008. This left my husband and I lost. We didn’t know what to do. It was our daughters who reminded me of my desire to foster. I had a fully adapted home and, as they stated, a fully adapted heart. So we started the assessment process. No one is ever going to convince me that this is an easy process! My goodness, I spent many times screaming with frustration at what seemed to be completely pointless questions and training sessions which made me feel like I was being told to suck eggs. As we neared the end I finally began to see the reasons behind the questions and understand. It’s hard to be that subjective when you feel like you are under a microscope. In September 2009 we qualified as new foster carers. Alan and I were thrilled and the girls were ecstatic. We had decided to work for an independ-

“I had a fully adapted home... and heart”

ent agency called Progress Children Services. We had done our research and were quite impressed with their policies and support for foster carers. We couldn’t wait for that first phone call. I remember we had passed the panel on the Saturday and by the Monday I was jumping every time the phone rang. On Tuesday the phone did ring and we were offered the placement of a young boy who had been spending many months in hospital due to his severe medical needs and lack of foster carers willing to take him on. I do understand people’s fear but for us it was normal life. We were so used to medicines, hospital visits etc. This was the reason we wanted to foster. So we now have an adorable 21 month old little boy staying with us. He has many needs and requires 24 hours a day care. I have loads of paperwork, physio visits, early year’s visits and community nurse visits. I have also visited the children’s hospital many times in the last few months for different reasons. Yes, it is tiring but my goodness I love it. This little boy has brought something special into our home; in the last few months he has changed from a failing to thrive child, to a chubby little monster. He is progressing so quickly. It is amazing to see what love can do. Many people say, ‘I couldn’t do your job’, or ‘You are special people’. What they don’t realise is that I have the best job in the world.

“We couldn’t wait for the first phone call”

“It’s amazing to see what love can do”

This is not the full version - to read all the articles, subscribe for just £7 per year. Email subscriptions@ fosterfamilies.co.uk

Personal

Spring 2010

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A care leaver’s search for home

However when you’ve left care, looking to study and live. This made you need to get on top of these things very complicated. things much earlier. I lived in shared I found myself being the “Finding a landlord ‘go-between’, housing with university students from frequently challenging task the age of 16, while I was at college. to say the least. who would take me chasing up loose ends Back then, and getting Timing is crucial was not easy” “I thought things finding a them to meet, and organisation is vital. On top of this you need to as well as sorting things would be different landlord who find accommodation but finding the out independently, without take me at 18 - I was wrong” would right place is not always easy. much information or was not easy If you’re like me and you’ve left guidance. because I was young and social services were my financial support. care, it’s more daunting trying to Housing is something that most It was a stressful ordeal to say the find a house as you don’t have your people don’t think about until their least, but I’m sure it would be hard parents there to support you. first year at university, when they live for any 16 year old to find a landlord. Social services are there to help in halls. financially but, for me, finding accommodation was still difficult. This was due to most landlords not wanting to deal with the social services, and mine were located in a different county to where I was pplying to university is exciting but can be a

You’re not alone

If you’re 16 or 17 and a care leaver, the social services who last looked after you are still responsible for you until you turn 18. The housing and homelessness charity, Shelter, says that social services should help you find accommodation, whether a children’s home, foyer, hostel, bed and breakfast or flat, and also provide for you financially. Contact your personal advisor for more info, or go to www.shelter.org.uk.

Photos: (top) www.flickr.com/photos/thetruthabout/2675858770, (bottom) www.flickr.com/photos/lordferguson/1561320157

Turned away from rented accommodation because she was a careleaver, Carla Nicholson’s story is one of struggle and disappointment. Read on to find out more...

Personal

So when I was 18 I thought care leavers have found things would be different. it the same when looking I was wrong – at 18 I was into housing. shocked to find the whole If you’re going through situation repeat itself. I was it now remember: having turned away left, right and been in care doesn’t make centre by letting agents. you an unworthy tenant! I was told the same thing: Some universities are “Sorry. We don’t deal with now renting out student social services.” accommodation through I couldn’t help but feel the vacation period, which hurt. I hadn’t realised how makes life much easier. hard it would be just to find Contact your care somewhere to live. leaver representative at I felt penalised for being your school, college or different and unfairly university and ask for help judged without even a to get you through the second glance. tough times. For a while it felt like there was no hope in More help available finding a home, but fortunately I had a friend If you are a young person in, or leaving, care and who had also been in would like more information care and had a flat of on what’s available to her own. I stayed with her and later lived there you, please see the Aimhigher representative alone when she moved in your school or college. on. You can also visit www. It feels like pure aimhigherkentandmedway. chance that my friend org and look at these web and I found a landlord pages: ‘Young People in and who understood our situation. I’m sure other Leaving Care’ and ‘Materials’.

Spring 2010

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www.aber.ac.uk/wpsi

Gweithio Gyda Myfyrwyr sy’n Gadael Gofal -Ein hymroddiad ni i’ch dyfodol chi

Er mwyn cael cymorth a chyngor cyn i chi gyrraedd (mewn Dyddiau Agored, dyddiau ymweld, etc.), drwy’r broses ymgeisio, ac wrth i chi gyrraedd, astudio, ac ymlaen i’ch graddio, cysylltwch â DEBRA CROFT yn y Ganolfan Ehangu Cyfranogiad E-bost: dec@aber.ac.uk Ffôn: 01970 622681, neu Tecst: 07968 77 55 23

workinG with students froM Care - our commitmEnt to your futurE

For help and advice before arrival (at Open Days, visiting days, etc.), through the application process, arrival, progression, and on to graduation, contact DEBRA CROFT in the Centre for Widening Participation E-mail: dec@aber.ac.uk Tel: 01970 622681, or Txt: 07968 77 55 23

More than a degree° of care and support At the University of Greenwich we recognise the unique challenges faced by care leavers coming into higher education. To help you make the best of your time at university and achieve your full potential, we can provide: ● a dedicated team offering on-going support and mentoring from before application through to graduation and finding a job ● advice on the financial support available including help with the cost of open day visits and a Care Leavers bursary of £1000 per year, subject to conditions ● taster days and free study skills courses. The University of Greenwich has been awarded the Frank Buttle Trust Quality Mark in recognition of our commitment to working with and supporting care leavers in higher education.

0800 005 006 Avery Hill

www.gre.ac.uk/careleavers Greenwich

Medway

Allegations in Foster Care; a Training Course for Social Workers and Foster Carers Fostering; a position of trust This course will enable you to Minimise allegations • Reduce placement breakdown • Retain Foster Carers • Understand the benefits of Independent Support •

www.fosteringsupport.co.uk

To register interest for in-house training or at one of our training events throughout the UK please contact Katie.Thackray@fosteringsupport.co.uk or 01730231603 Links to CWDC Standard 6 £129.00 + £22.58 VAT—Total £151.58

Events Planned for • •

• • • •

Edinburgh– June 8th Birmingham—June 10th Exeter—June 15th Liverpool—June 17th Cardiff– June 22nd Cambridge—June 24th

WIN a ed Personalis Book

Meet Susan...

a 42 year old man posing as a 15 year old girl online. C

Make your family giggle with a Saronti personalised photo book

For more information about Spector Pro or to place an order:

“Susan” and your 13 year old just made plans to meet at the park.

Visit us online:

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Call us toll-free:

0800 032 3901

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Protect your child with Spector Pro, the best selling software for monitoring and recording every detail of their PC and Internet activity. Spector Pro records everything they do on the computer – their chats, instant messages, emails, the web sites they visit… and much more. Plus, with Spector Pro’s advanced screen snapshots feature, you not only see what they do, you see the exact order in which they do it, step by step.

Spector Pro

unny, rhyming personalised stories where both the illustrations and the text can feature from two up to seven of your family members. Character faces are made up from photos of your family members and the text features their names too. Get the kids a great gift, and make it their favourite picture book. Laugh together at the funny character roles in the story. For your chance to win, simply email competitions@fosterfamilies. co.uk with the subject line ‘Saronti’ or send your answer to Foster Families Competitions, Flat 2, 2a Brook Street, Worcester, WR1 1JB. Competition closes May 10th 2010. The first entry drawn will win.

Foster care YOUR advice

We know our readers are wonderful foster carers. You sent in your fostering tips, and we’ve chosen our top five:

1 3 5

Find something to give praise for every day. A simple please or thank you can take a lot of courage and effort from a young person. - Terry Fitzer

Keep in touch with your friends and aim to go out with them at least once a month. When you do, don’t talk about fostering! - Lisa Macdonald

Don’t have televisions in children’s bedrooms, be consistently consistent, and find something to laugh about each day. - Nick Lowe

Don’t expect rewards. Rewards usually come out of the blue... and are worth their weight in gold. - Yvonne Middleton

You need patience and understanding. Remember to make time for yourself and always talk your problems through. - Lesley Body-Owen

What’s your top fostering tip? Email it to haveyoursay@fosterfamilies.co.uk, or post your advice to: Foster Families, Flat 2, 2a Brook Street, Worcester, WR1 1JB, and it could go in our Summer 2010 issue.

This is not the full version - to read all the articles, subscribe for just £7 per year. Email subscriptions@fosterfamilies.co.uk

Health

Foster Families Order Form Fill in the following form, crossing out as appropriate, and send it along with a cheque made payable to ‘Foster Families’, to: Subscriptions, Foster Families, Flat 2, 2a Brook Street, Worcester, WR1 1JA*. Name: _____________________________ Address: ___________________________ ___________________________________ Postcode: ___________________________ Email Address: ______________________ Yearly subscription:

£7

Paid by: Cheque/ Money transfer/PayPal

*Payments can also be made via PayPal to subscriptions@fosterfamilies.co.uk, or at www.fosterfamilies.co.uk. Email subscriptions@fosterfamilies.co.uk for more payment options.

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HayMax™ Packs a Punch with Pollen If you dread the start of spring due to the sneezing and watery eyes that come from hayfever, we’ve found an effective, drug-free, nondrowsy answer for all ages. Caroline Bays said: “My 10 year old son was taking Piriton, nasal sprays, eye drops and was getting nose bleeds at all times of the day or night. My friend gave me a pot of HayMax™ and said it might help. I stopped the medicine over a couple of days - he then managed the whole of last summer

with just one pot of HayMax!” This simple but effective nose balm deals with the cause of hayfever rather than the symptoms. Real essential oils are used, so as not to trigger further allergic reactions. You can apply HayMax™ when symptoms start and alongside other hayfever products. It is completely drugfree, so is suitable for both pregnant and breastfeeding mothers. And of course it’s great for children,

“Just one pot all summer”

especially at exam time. HayMax™ is available in three organic varieties – Pure, Lavender and Aloe Vera - which all come in convenient pocket-sized tubs. A high melting point makes HayMax™ last a long time. It is non-visible, has no unpleasant smell and can also be used with make-up. HayMax™ retails at £6.95 for a 5ml pot that can last all summer, and is available from www.haymax.biz, on 01525 406600 and many pharmacies, chemists and health food stores nationwide.

Hay Max

Advice

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COMP

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Michael Dennis is the founder of the UK’s first online social network of foster carers - Fostercare World. He is also a dual heritage careleaver and a Panel Supervisor

Making full-time work Can you afford to foster full-time? Michael Dennis shares his tips on making it work for your family

utting a career on the back burner to become a full-time foster carer is an easy choice for some families and a very difficult decision for others. Either way, going full-time entails numerous adjustments and challenges... as well as rewards and joy. As a foster carer I don't need to tell you that the more available you are the more placements you will be offered. This is due to the intense and complex needs of many looked after children and potential impacts on a placement stability. In the ideal world foster parents could be available full-time to provide the care and support that your children need. Yet in reality this is often not

TITIO

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financially viable. For those carers who are considering this transition but need a few extra ideas to bridge the financial gap, here are some things you could consider trying: • Check with your agency for work you could do for them, perhaps from home. • Consider transitioning in stages by asking your employer about parttime work possibilities. • Look for additional income streams, - maybe get rid of some of your clutter on eBay, or in the Foster Families Swap Shop. • Talk to other carers who are fulltime to find out what they are doing. • Create a budget and decide what expenses are not necessary. Pay off

as much debt as possible, and start saving if you do not already. • If you have a partner, ask them to support your decision. They could approach their employer and ask for a raise. • Research ways to save money on groceries, gifts, transport and utilities. This can include growing your own garden, making gifts, giving up a car, and taking efforts to conserve energy.

Win a ‘CEWE PHOTOBOOK’ worth £50 and cherish your family moments! Now you can save some money with CEWE PHOTOBOOK! How often do you take lots of great digital photos of the family and then forget to do anything with them? Well, no more. Now you can treasure those memories in a photo book keepsake. ‘Cewe Photobook’ are offering two readers the chance to win a photo book worth £50. A perfect way to get your digital family photos printed as a book, it lets you design your own high-quality photo books from digital images in as little as three minutes! ‘Cewe Photobooks’ allow you to tell the story the way you want to. If you can’t wait to win, you can see your digital photos in a real book now by creating your very own ‘Cewe Photobook’ at www.cewe-photobook.co.uk. Simply email competitions@fosterfamilies.co.uk with the subject line ‘CEWE Photobook’ along with your name, address and child’s name, or post to Foster Families Competitions, Flat 2, 2a Brook Street, Worcester, WR1 1JB to enter. Competition closing date is May 10th 2010. The first two entries drawn will win the prize.

This is not the full version - to read all the articles, subscribe for just £7 per year. Email subscriptions@fosterfamilies.co.uk

Advice

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Moving - a child’s nightmare Photo: www.flickr.com/photos/spunter/1570596188

Jaqueline Siner shares her top tips to ease the stress of moving on

find it hard to imagine how life must feel to a child in care, wondering how long they will remain living in their present home, whether they will stay in touch with members of their family, whether they will one day leave the people they live with and never see them again. The closest I get to understanding is when I think about The uncertainty of moving can be an anxious and tearful time - follow Jaqueline’s tips to make it easier for the child in your care how stressful moving house was for me – me, a be able to live with you. large detached house, a much better competent mature adult. Anyone You may have to go a long way away house than the one you live in now. who has been through selling their and may need to change your job. You do not know anyone in that area. present home and buying a new one But don’t worry, you are told, it will A new job has been found for you will know what I mean. all be fine. with the same salary and conditions Now think of how you Can you as the one you have now. would have felt if this “Think about how stressful imagine Your partner can move with you, and had been the scenario: how two of your children. moving house was” You are told you are anxious Your 12 year old son will be going going to move to a new house which such a scenario would make you to live with another family as it has will be lovely and feel? And this is almost exactly the been decided which you will situation many children in care are that he should Did you know Intolerance of like very much. faced with. continue at his that moving house uncertainty People who care It is nobody’s fault. We can’t give present school is considered to The inability to about you are certainty of dates, location, or details until after A be one of the tolerate uncertainsure you will be of contact, while everyone is looking levels. You will most stressful ty is an attitude happy there. very hard to find the best package see him three experiences of many people have But no-one can for the child. So they live with times a year. your life? towards life. tell you where uncertainty. Some of the A survey by Anum They often that house is or Then, when certainty and a clear feelings you are Ltd revealed that worry, believing when you will be plan finally comes, it may bring experiencing are moving house was that this is their likely to be very the MOST stressful moving. It could further anxieties. only strategy for be weeks or Let’s imagine the situation for you similar to those situation for 44% making things in years. again. the child in care of people in the life more certain Your partner/ You are told that the house you will experiences when and predictable*. UK. children may not move to is 300 miles away. It is a they are told of a *Taken from http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs/GAD-8_Accepting-Uncertainty.pdf

This is not the full version - to read all the articles, subscribe for just £7 per year. Email subscriptions@fosterfamilies.co.uk

Advice

move. For most of us, knowing what is going to happen is better than living with uncertainty. But for the child in care this is still an anxious time.

Your role - Jaqueline’s Top 5 Tips to minimise stress for the child in your care

foster families 13

and of things they have done with conflict with that of the new carer or you as a family. the social worker. 4. Keep in contact? That could mean the thread gets Consider whether contact with you tangled! once they have moved on would help This would not be a person to them, and suggest it to the social complain to with the expectation they worker if no-one would ‘sort it “Knowing what will happen out’. There is asks. This will depend is better than uncertainty” a danger the on how long the child could child has been with you and the find the role a rather empty one. circumstances of their move. If having such a befriender is going Indirect contact can be a lovely way to keep the thread unbroken, it’s of maintaining the continuous thread a good idea. But if it gets broken without it becoming an emotional anyway, because the befriender burden for you or for them. loses interest or for any reason has In some circumstances direct contact to stop, it could do more harm than will be right for all of you. good. 5. Encourage a stable friendship As with so much about planning What about more formal for a child in care, it is important to arrangements for keeping the consider that individual child and continuous thread of the child’s their individual circumstances. emotional life from breaking? Keep the child in focus and the rest Might it help a child to have a should fall into place. ‘befriender’, someone who maintains contact with them throughout all the moves? If there is a member of the birth family who can do this in a way that supports the placements, this is ideal. A good role for a grandparent perhaps. A foster carer who is maintaining a level of contact during later moves would also be a good choice. It would need to be clear to whoever takes on this role, and to the child, that this was a ‘friend’ and no more. The role of this person must never

This is not the full version - to read all the articles, subscribe for just £7 per year. Email subscriptions@ fosterfamilies.co.uk

Photo: www.flickr.com/photos/akelessnoise

What ways are there that a foster carer can minimise the stress for children as they go through moves? 1. Keep them informed In an age appropriate way, tell them everything about the move that is certain, and be honest about which bits haven’t been decided yet. If some things are staying the same for them such as going to the same school, or having the same contact with birth family, this will be a help in maintaining a continuous thread in their lives. Remind them of that. 2. Keep them included Continue to include them in future planning for your family, on the lines of, “and if things get a bit delayed for you, you’ll do all that with us too, and if not you’ll be doing other nice stuff with your new family.” It would feel very strange to be living with a family in December and not hear anyone talk Comfort of smell about Christmas! A study at the 3. Plan what University of they will take Oklahoma showed with them. newborns to Having familiar stop crying when things around presented with a you helps gown smelling of you settle in their mother. The somewhere. soothing emotions Bedding seems linked to Mum also to have particular link to her scent. importance. A favourite toy can Taking their have the same pillowcase and effect. duvet cover, still smelling of the fabric conditioner you use, can help a child settle in those first few nights of sleeping in a new bed. Favourite, very battered toys need to go, and other things significant to the child, even if they are apparently silly things – like the old rusty trowel they always used when digging in the garden. Make sure they have photos of you,

Spring 2010

Competition

Imprint: Foster Families Magazine Flat 2, 2a Brook Street, Worcester WR1 1JB www.fosterfamilies.co.uk Published by: Ceressa Bateman Editor: Ceressa Bateman Editorial Tel: 01905 747924 Email: ceressa@ fosterfamilies. co.uk Advertising Email: ads@fosterfamilies.co.uk Printed by: Buxton Press Limited, Palace Road, Buxton, Derbyshire, SK17 6AE 01298 21 2000

Swap shop

www.fosterfamilies.co.uk/index. php/swap-shop

Don’t pay more!

We’ve got some fantastic items for sale at www.fosterfamilies. co.uk/index.php/swap-shop. Why pay out for something brand new when there are plenty of second-hand options? If there’s anything you like, then get in touch and save some money.

Swap your items here!

Let other foster carers get some use out of those pushchairs, toys, bikes and other things you no longer use. If you’ve got any useful bits and bobs you no longer need, then you can list them on here. Simply email info@ fosterfamilies.co.uk with your name, address, phone number, a description of the item, and a price.

CD Giveaway!

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COMPETITI

Don’t get bored on your next family car journey - enter our competition and you could win 2 CDs from Mediak. These fantastic music and story CDs feature your foster child’s name, making for an exciting and self-esteem building listen. Mediak sports CDs make your child feel like they are in the big game, scoring goals and winning matches. Simply email competitions@ fosterfamilies.co.uk with the subject line ‘Mediak’ along with your name, address and child’s name, or post to Foster Families Competitions, Flat 2, 2a Brook Street, Worcester, WR1 1JB to enter. Competition closing date is May 10th 2010. The first entry drawn will win the prize. Visit www.kidsmusiccds.co.uk for more information.

Support for care leavers at Winchester

Benefits include: • • • •

King Alfred Scholarship, worth £2,050 Special help and support with housing arrangements Designated Welfare Adviser Strong partnerships with local authorities TTE M I D

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Leanne Hart: “The University of Winchester has been very supportive. If it wasn’t for the staff at the University – I would never have had the confidence to apply. The level of support received is fantastic and it’s given me confidence to know that I have such an excellent support network behind me.”

Finndd ou ore: mor outt m Fi Terri Sandison T: 01962 827225 E: Terri.Sandison@winchester.ac.uk www.winchester.ac.uk

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Don’t let your foster child feel like a visitor in somebody else’s bedroom. Mandy Watkins shares how you can individualise their room for no cost

Photos: (top) www.flickr.com/photos/smercury98/2641517435 (bottom) www.flickr.com/photos/ nakrnsm/3817790783

Making a child feel like part of the furniture

f you’re a short term foster carer, it can sometimes feel like the children’s bedroom is a bit like a hotel room. By the time one child’s emptied out their bags, it’s time to pack everything away again and get ready for the next arrival. When you have a number of foster children coming and going it can be hard, and expensive, to put each child’s mark on the room, and make it feel like ‘their’ room. Repainting the walls can be a tedious and messy job, but it’s important for the child to feel at home and know that inside these four walls is ‘their space’. Mandy Watkins offers some wonderful advice on cheap and easy ways to personalise the bedroom for each child that moves into it, helping them to feel settled and part of the household. Take a look at what she says:

your home, it’s important to make them feel as comfortable in their new surroundings as possible. There are a few ways you can individualise a child’s room without spending lots of money.

a collage out of items you find on a beach. This is brilliant if you live near a beach! If not, it makes for an exciting day out. Sam Pullara Putting some shells in a decorative jar not only looks nice but creates a happy memory too.

“Collages not only look nice but create happy memories”

Get creative

Art is a good way to start. Why not get them to make a picture which they can put up in their new space? A good one to try is to paint a tree. Depending on the age of the child they might need some help with the trunk. When it comes to the leaves, put some green paint on a plate and let them be creative with their hands! Hand prints make great leaves. If you use some lining paper and make it quite big they can add to the picture, so if you go for a walk they can bring some leaves and turn it into a collage. This would be a great project for you and the child. Another good one is making

“Introduce items that they would appreciate”

Feel at home

When introducing a new child to

By Mandy Watkins, Interior Designer Find Mandy at: www.mandywatkinsinteriors.co.uk

Whether on paper, or directly onto the wall, painting is a good way to individualise their room

This is not the full version - to read all the articles, subscribe for just £7 per year. Email subscriptions@fosterfamilies.co.uk

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Be inspired by your own home

Often when looking around your home you get an idea of what makes your house yours. When you look around what makes you feel at home? Is it the pictures on the wall? Or the decorative items on the mantelpiece? Or is it even the smell? Think about what is comforting to you, and as you get to know the child you can introduce items to their room that you think they might appreciate.

Make it playful

A few simple touches can make a room feel personal to the child, and bring some big smiles

Keep walls neutral

If the room is to be used for both boys and girls over time, make sure that you keep the walls and curtains neutral. It is easier to chop and change looks if the canvas is plain. You can then try the following to make a bedroom fit for a king or queen:

Fun for boys

Boys love cars so a rug with a road print is a great way of sprucing up the room. Not only will he think it looks great, but it will also provide hours of entertainment.

Pretty pink for girls

A nice touch - a road rug can keep boys entertained for hours

Girls love almost anything pink and girly. Fairy lights are a nice touch in a girl’s

room, but be careful if they are young!

Show off

Children love to make things so give them a pin board to place the items they make. You could also encourage them to make a door hanger by decorating an empty shower gel bottle. That way they stamp their name on the door and it gives them a sense of belonging.

Decorate

Another great idea is to get creative with a plain old lampshade. All you need is a glue gun, some buttons and some ribbon, and they can accessorize it to their heart’s content. Being creative with children very rarely costs money, it just takes a little imagination, and most kids when encouraged have plenty of that! Making the child feel secure is imperative. By adding these personal touches bit by bit it will help make a child feel at home.

This is not the full version - to read all the articles, subscribe for just £7 per year. Email subscriptions@fosterfamilies.co.uk

Photos: (top) www.flickr.com/photos/ criminalintent/3396675492 (bottom) www.flickr.com/photos/brook/19174372

It is important for a child’s environment to be stimulating as well as relaxing. Every child likes different things. If you have a box of toys, encourage them to pick out some that they particularly like. You can then put these in their own box in their bedroom. If you get a box with a flat surface, you could paint it with some blackboard paint and the child could personalise it as often as they wanted!

Choice Matters is a fresh and engaging interactive DVD-rom that will enable you to give your fostered child the best start in life by supporting them to make informed choices. This essential tool is packed full of comprehensive information and advice, alongside inspirational footage of young people and foster carers discussing their own experiences. Throughout the DVD-rom there is also reference to CWDC training and development standards for foster carers, helping you to meet these standards in an interesting and engaging way. Exclusive 5% discount for Foster Families readers – quote offer code CHOICEMATTERS5 How to order 1. Order online: www.thewhocarestrust.org.uk/publications.php 2. Pay by cheque: Please send a cheque payable to ‘The Who Cares? Trust’ to Publications, The Who? Cares? Trust, Kemp House, 152-160 City Road, London EC1V 2NP Own two feet – the blog for young people in care http://owntwofeet.wordpress.com/

FOSTERING AGENCIES - LET’S ALL WORK TOGETHER! The Simply Fostering Enquiry Clearing House How it works!

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Fostering agency receives an enquiry about becoming a foster carer.

Fostering agency refers the enquirer to Simply Fostering as the applicant is out of the area your agency covers or does not meet agency’s criteria.

If the enquirer then proceeds to approval by another fostering agency they are introduced to through Simply Fostering, the original agency receives an administration fee of £100. If your agency is interested in using this service to help increase the number and therefore choice of foster carers for children throughout the UK, please express your interest by contacting: Annette Webb Simply Fostering info@ simplyfostering.co.uk www.simplyfostering.co.uk

Kids Corner

Kid

Spring 2010

foster families

orn

Which flower?

er!

Burt, the bumblebee, wants to find some pollen. Follow the lines to find out which flower he chooses.

COMPE

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Win! Enter our competition for your chance to win ‘The Wheels on The Bus’ and ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat’ DVDs. These brand new DVDs from Kids Music Shop both contain 20 different songs to sing and dance to. For more info go to: www.kidsmusicshop. co.uk. Each DVD is worth £4.99.

Spring Bluebell Fun Swimming Football Lambs Rainbow Holidays Dancing Flower Baking

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To win these DVDs, all you have to do is find the words listed above in the grid. Once you have found them all, the leftover letters will spell out a phrase. Write down the phrase, and email it to competitions@fosterfamilies.co.uk or send your answer to Foster Families Kids Competitions, Flat 2, 2a Brook Street, Worcester, WR1 1JB. Remember to include your name and address. The first correct entry drawn will win the prize. Closing date is May 10th 2010.

This is not the full version - to read all the articles, subscribe for just £7 per year. Email subscriptions@fosterfamilies.co.uk

Win a free family break to Pontin’s

COMPE

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ontin’s have been delivering outstanding value for money holidays for over 60 years and now include even more fun and activities for all the family. With four great self-catering Holiday Parks in England and Wales to choose from, you are never far away from days of action and adventure and nights full of music and dance. The fantastic Bluecoats are always on hand to create a fun atmosphere for everyone whether they are performing in one of their fabulous shows, running quizzes and karaoke or keeping the kids amused. Children will have a magical time – imagine a place where they can walk on water; where a fluffy green crocodile, a beautiful zebra, a cheeky monkey and a dancing ostrich come to life to entertain; a place where they can get the opportunity to take part in talent and dance competitions or even become a Young Bluecoat – that’s Pontin’s. Plus live music and top cabaret, up to 70 activities included from swimming, water polo and aqua jets to circus skills, crazy golf and human table football and much more. More details at www.pontins.com And now you can win a three or four night family break to Pontin’s. The prize is for a family of four in a Self Catering Classic apartment at a choice of four coastal Holiday Parks: Brean Sands in Somerset; Camber Sands in East Sussex, Prestatyn Sands in North Wales and Southport, and Ainsdale Beach in North West England. Terms and Conditions

1. All places are subject to availability at time of booking. 2. Prize is for a one bedroom Classic apartment, for up to 4 persons (adult or child) to be taken by 30th October 2010, excluding dates between 31/07/10 and 28/08/10, Bank Holidays & Special Events. 3. Open to UK residents aged 18 or over, except employees of the Ocean Parcs Ltd and their families. 4. Only one entry per person is permitted

a Pontin’s holiday WinForWin your chance to win, use the questions, right, to fill out the crossword. The coloured squares are an anagram of a word linked to Pontin’s. Once you’ve worked that out, email your answer to competitions@ fosterfamilies.co.uk with the subject line ‘Pontin’s’, or post it to: Competitions, Flat 2, 2a Brook Street, Worcester, WR1 1JB. Don’t forget to include your name and address. The first correct entry drawn will win the prize.

Competition closing date is May 10th 2010

And, if you’re not successful in winning the competition, you can still be a winner with a break at Pontin’s from only £137 for a family of four at May half term by ringing 0844 576 5960 or go to www.pontins. com

Across

1. New world in Avatar (7) 5. Facebook, Google, Hotmail all found here (8) 6. Norway’s capital (4) 7. Comedian and presenter, Stephen ___ (3) 9. __ Somebody, Kings of Leon song (2) 10. 10ml, or one __ of alcohol (4) 13. Da Vinci ____ , 2003 novel (4) 14. ______ Graham, Dancing on Ice contestant (5)

Down

1. Fictional Belgian detective (6) 2. ________ Cassidy, Strictly Come Dancing celebrity (7) 3. Vegetable also known as Ladies Fingers (4) 4. Winner of Celebrity Big Brother 2010 (4, 4) 8. Gary ____ , Dancing on Ice contestant (4) 9. Low cost airline, ___ Baby (3) 11. Dr. __ , Bond film (2) 12. Annual hike across Dartmoor, ___ Tors (3)