Inspired Balance: Self Care
Editorial Director/Curator: Lori Lynn Smith
Welcome to our second edition of Inspired Balance. The topics of Self Care is near and dear to my heart, it is the very thing the pulled me from the edge of defeat and allowed me to rise again. I was able to go on to create amanzing things. I took the time for self care and allowed my inner essence come out, I found in myself a Diva, an amazing woman with extraordinary strenghts.
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I am certain that you also have a Diva inside of you and she is just roaring to get out. I have found that the quietest times are the times that makes us the strongest and allow us to embrace life to the fullest. I noticed as I went through all the articles and interviews there were several themes that were repeated over and over. I love seeing wonderful women all on the same wavelength when it comes to teaching others excellent self care practices.
able resources without losing your place while you are reading.
We have added a new section near the back of the edition “Tools + Resources” this section will features items that can help you implement the new strategies you learning reading the magazine.
If you have any questions or suggestions for future topics, please feel free to contact me at info@sacredearthpartners. com.
I hope that you enjoy this months articles and put into action the tips and advice we have put together.
Thanks for reading and we hope you enjoy!
We encourage you to download each edition so that you can easily click all blue underlined links to valu-
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The 5 Myths of Self Care
previously posted on SacredEarthPartners.com
Myth: This make me feel too selfish!
Truth: If you don’t take care of you, who will? It is human nature to take care of others first; normally it is our immediate or extended families. It is survival right, taking care of our offspring, making sure that humanity survives the big bad world. Okay back to reality now, in North America we don’t have to worry that much about surviving. We can find shelter, food, and clothes those most basic survival needs. So we can move past the “survival of fittest” and work on selfcare. What would your family do, they are expecting you to take care of things, they are expecting you to cook, clean, do laundry, mend their bodies, help them feel better, get them over heart breaks and problems.
They would mourn and miss you, sure! You are a great person, well liked and dearly loved. But they would pick up their lives and move on. They would grow up and grow old, whether you are there or not. Wouldn’t you like to be there? • What exactly have you done for yourself lately? • How do you take care of yourself? • How do you acknowledge yourself? You are waiting for other people to do these things for you? Why, because you don’t deserve it, you are unworthy of it. Wrong, you do deserve and are very worthy of some Extreme Self Care! This will be the turning point in your life! There are many things that you can change about your life: jobs, careers, husbands/ significant other, cities, countries, houses, cars… But does changing any or all of these things accomplish the feeling you are looking for? And if you make changes and do NOT change how you are taking care of yourself, does it really impact your life?
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Things might change for a while, but they return you right back to the same space unless you decide to change yourself. Changing how you treat the most important person in your life … YOU! Then and only then will things flow together and begin to feel like what you are looking for.
Myth: My Family doesn’t understand me! Truth: Do you know how to ask for what you need?
It is not that you family doesn’t understand you…. It is that you have let them walk all over you, of course not intentionally. You didn’t know better, they didn’t know better. The generation pervious to us, grew up and learned how to live based on the “Leave it to Beaver” family. The Wife stayed home, her whole existence was to be a good wife and mother. The Husband went off to work at 7am and came home at 5pm for dinner. Today we live in a completely different environment. It is not easy to support a family on just one income and we are working hard and longer hours just to stay above the water. Now I believe that these strong values of taking care of our value are still very, very important.
I believe that we adapt to what we need to get this task done.
You will be able to be clearer and clearer of what you are looking to feel.
Taking into consideration that we are ‘doing what must be done’ to make sure things are taken care of, what steps have you taken to let your family know what you need. It is easy!
• The goal I want to achieve is: • The reason I want to achieve this goal is: • My life would change in the following manner if I achieved my goal: • I would be happier if I achieved my goal because...
• Talk to your significant other and family • Ask for what you need • Your family says sure, they would be happy to help that’s what families do
Maybe you have a very simple goal; maybe you just need to spend 30 minutes a day in peace and quiet.
You know what the hardest part of all of this is…. Figuring out what it is that you need. You may want to take a couple of minutes and just get really clear on what it is that you want to create for yourself. Sit down and really visualize as if you were right in the middle of your perfect day.
What you would like is when you get home, there is a space to be created for 30 minutes so that you can let go of things at the office and be fully present and enjoy your time with your family. So let’s try that discussion again. • Call a family meeting – just let them know you have something you want to run past them • Ask them what for what you need – I would like it if for 30 minutes after I get home from work, that I can spend time alone in my office/ bedroom, I just feel that I want to be able to switch gears from work and then I can spend better quality time with you because I am not worrying about things at the office. • Your family says sure – well of course they
The next important step is put into words that feeling you are looking for. I recommend reading this over every week or so and updating it. As you start working through the steps you will start to see new improved visions and feelings.
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do, your family loves you, they just didn’t know that you needed the time.
Some simple things that help, pick an alarm clock that has a nice sound or use the radio so that you wake up to music.
There is one catch to this though. You actually need to do it. Use your 30 minutes, meditate, exercise, read, BUT leave work at work and truly be fully present with your family. If they can see that nothing has changed, then they will not accept your boundaries.
I give myself a few extra minutes in the morning, this allows me to wake up and stretch my way awake, without feeling the rush, rush of the day. I have made it a practice to get up with enough time to get myself up, showered and ready before it was necessary to get the kids up. My morning goes something like this, I spend about 15 minutes lying in bed just letting myself wake up and stretching, you know like cats. I head for the shower, lots of time and lots of hot water, in our house that is definitely a consideration.
Myth: I don’t have the time!
Truth: Creating organization gives you the time. Sure you can keep avoiding this for the rest of your life, or you can make the time. Daily habits or rituals will help you organize your time. How much time do you spend looking for your bills at the end of the month? How much time do you spend on Saturday on doing laundry?
Now I have some quiet time, to plan my day, or write in my journal. I do this one in silence, no music, no people and no TV.
Now I have made a conscious effort to get up 30 minutes early so that I have time to myself in the mornings, to me the effort to get up is very little compared to the enormous benefits I get from having my day completely organized.
It is a very relaxing way to start the day. Now you are saying “just how am I going to do that?” or “My little ones wake up too early to do that”, you’re right, your life is not exactly that same way mine is, and I am lucky when I started this ritual I only teenagers in the house, rather than babies.
Here is My Nourishing Getup Ritual – Nourishing to your soul and body.
The point is start something… even if the only A Digital Publication From Sacred Earth Partners
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things you do is wake up 15 minutes early and drink your juice in silence while you are writing your “To Do” list for the day.
Myth: If you can’t do it all it right, don’t do it at all!
And for gosh sake, have a proper breakfast, your body has just spent the last 6 or 8 hours with no incoming food. Now is the time. It is important and matters, because you are important!
There are some people (me included) that has some trouble with this. You may be a control freak or a perfectionist, either way you have placed on yourself these enormous expectations. You have being doing it for as long as you can remember and you probably have no clue about where to even begin to stop. But you can stop and you can move on from here.
But really you don’t even need to go this far. It can be super simple, like laundry. When you leave your bedroom in the morning, you bring the laundry basket with you. Then as you are walking out the door, you turn on the washing machine. It washes while you are at work. When you get home, throw the laundry in the dryer, by the time dinner is cooked and eaten, you can put the laundry away. While you might not be able to do this with every load, kids clothes, towels, bedding all could be easily done, with no extra time on your part.
Let me tell you about the actions I took to do this. 1. I hired people around me that could take on some of my redundant tasks, not as easy it sounds; sometimes you go through some stress. One giving up that particular area, two maybe the person you hired or delegated to just can’t figure out the task. It can be done though patience.
Truth: Simple Changes make a big difference.
2. I started to say no to taking on additional tasks, I would simple say that I was loaded right now, but they could check back in 3 months or I would recommend a ‘up and comer’ who had promise. I could let go of the task and help another show their potential.
First: Breathe Second: Breathe again Third: Pick just one thing to change
The trick is really to get organized. How many of your tasks can you have automated? How things can you create templates for? How many things can you delegate?
It is not possible to change everything in one day, one week or one year even, this is a process, a journey to create a better you. Now what did you pick?
The next trick let go of them. Think of it in terms of mentoring, you are mentoring the people around you to grow their careers and show their potential. You don’t need to do it all.
Maybe you picked setting some boundaries at work.
With all these things in place you will find that naturally you just don’t even need to be at work as much. And all the things that you used to do are still getting done. There is one last thing….
You have decided that you would like to work only 8 hours a day rather than 16. What are the actions you need to do this? A Digital Publication From Sacred Earth Partners
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Sometimes, you just need to shut off the light and leave the office. Maybe you didn’t get something completed that is fine it will be there tomorrow.
I am just an everyday woman, with everyday problems and challenges like you. I would never drink my water out of a crystal wine glass, a nice thought, but not at all practical with 4 teenagers and 6 cats running around the house.
But your wife or husband might not be, your kids are another day older, your parents are another day older. If tomorrow never came, what would you say to your family? Go say it now!
I am not the kind of woman that appreciates manicured nails, what will they look like after 5 minutes in the garden! (but it can be a fun day out every once and a while ) I am not going to tell you something that I haven’t already tired and succeeded at. I believe that Extreme Simplicity as just as important as Extreme Self Care and Nurturing. If the action isn’t easy, I just won’t do it.
It starts with just one baby step, one simple little thing, like delegating those reports.
Myth: I know ALL of this, I have tired and I failed!
Truth: Knowing is one thing, taking ACTION is totally different. I am not one to dwell on the negative or the failures. Great you tired and failed before, that means one less way to try it. Now is the time to try something new.
Now that you know just how simple it really can be, you must certainly can pick yourself up and try again. Now is the time to take action! One action, one step on the journey to Extreme Self Care and Nurturing.
This one is for you! After reading many books and websites I noticed that there is always a specific person they are talking to, I mean it makes sense, there is no way to talk to everyone. There are some many different people, places, environments, no one person can possible reach everyone.
Success doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s about doing the little things every day. Each week, focus on making one change. Once you get it down, focus on something else. If you improve just one thing every week, imagine the change you’ll see over the next five years.
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The First 10 Steps of Extreme Self Care
It is possible and you are worth it! Take the next step now!
velop your own personal touch and style, ideas will come to you like a waterfall of pure energy.
Extreme Self Care: is the practice of fully committing to a nurturing lifestyle.
I highly recommend that you make a deal with yourself to commit fully to creating an Extreme Self Care Lifestyle.
Extreme Self Care requires connecting with yourself on a DAILY basis, deciding what you need and then following through to make it happen.
Feel Free to use the Personal Contract below to help you remember to put yourself first and be a little selfish every day.
You will find in this work book a plethora of ideas and actions that you can use to start your new lifestyle. As you allow yourself, you will deA Digital Publication From Sacred Earth Partners
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PERSONAL CONTRACT I am committed to achieving a lifestyle of Extreme Self Care!
"I hereby state that I will abide by my commitment to MYSELF, I can do it! It will be achieved! There is no stopping me! I have the determination, and the will to achieve all of my goals! Without doubts consider it done! I am empowered by myself for myself to create a lifestyle of Extreme Self Care!�
Signature______________________Date_________
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Don’t you feel better already… excited!? Ready to move on to the next step? Great me too! I am excited for you! There are going to be some hard action items along the way, but I know that now that you have made this commitment you will be prepared for those hard decisions. You may want to take a couple of minutes and just get really clear on what it is that you want to create for yourself. Sit down and really visualize as if you were right in the middle of your perfect day. Identifying and Clarifying Your Goal The next important step is put into words that feeling you are looking for. I recommend reading this over every week or so and updating it. As you start working through the steps you will start to see new improved visions and feelings. You will be able to be clearer and clearer of what you are looking to feel.
I feel there are 5 critical steps along the path to successfully creating an extreme self care lifestyle. There are many, many ways to move through each step.
3. My life would change in the following manner if I achieved my goal 4. I would be happier if I achieved my goal because...
First, Daily habits, these are very easy and only take 5-30 minutes each day. They get us in touch with our true authentic selves; they allow us to find our souls passions and paths.
Have the answers to the above questions helped you realize that if you are truly willing to commit the time, energy, emotions and resources necessary to achieve your goals?
Second, Stress Elimination, for many of us we are so caught up in the daily stress of work and life that we do not feel capable of a spare minute let alone a moment of peace and quiet. The small quiet voice cannot be heard until we sit still in silence.
Now the fun begins, you have made a commitment to yourself; you have clarified the exact feeling that you want each and every day.
Third, Spiritual wellbeing, even if you are not a spiritual person, you must take care of your spirit, participating in meaningful activities that speak to your values and passions, allows us to stand in our own light.
As with any good plan, starting with baby steps is the best way to make forward progress. Changing your lifestyle is no easy task and as much as this is all about lightening and enlightening your life, I understand that any change even the small stuff can sometimes be difficult.
Fourth, Extreme Pleasure, we all need something to look forward to, what do you consider extreme pleasure? Me, I think of a hotel room with a Jacuzzi tub, with candles and great music all to myself. Oh don’t forget the triple chocolate cake order from room service.
I am here to support you along the way!
1. The goal I want to achieve is 2. The reason I want to achieve this goal is A Digital Publication From Sacred Earth Partners
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Fifth, Support System, you don’t need to move through this alone, creating support systems around you will make the transition easier. A coach can help you clarify your end goal and assist you with staying focused as you move toward the goal. A coach will hold your vision for you while you make the changes required. Today we are starting on the First 10 Steps, these 10 very easy baby steps will ease your mind and your heart and create a very small piece of peace and serenity in your life. I highly recommend and participate in these activities every day! These are very easy to incorporate into your everyday lifestyle once you have made the decision to do so. Keep in mind that it will take 4-8 weeks to develop these into habits that you will start coming naturally to you. So for the next 8 weeks, you will need to commitment to these actions. If one day you do great and the next day you do awful, it doesn’t matter, start the next day with renewed commitment and have a great day. Above all else remember that this is for you! Because you want to feel better about yourself, you want to feel healthier, you want to have more energy, you want to enjoy each day of your life to the fullest. A Digital Publication From Sacred Earth Partners
“In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth”. ~ Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948) Step 1 - Nourishing Getup Ritual – Nourishing to your soul and body. Some simple things that help, pick an alarm clock that has a nice sound or use the radio so that you wake up to music. I give myself a few extra minutes in the morning, this allows me to wake up and stretch my way awake, without feeling the rush, rush of the day. I have made it a practice to get up with enough time to get myself up, showered and ready before it was necessary to get the kids up. My morning goes something like this, I spend about 15 minutes laying in bed just letting myself wake up and stretching, you know like cats. I head for the shower, lots of time and lots of hot water, in our house that is definitely a consideration. Now I have some quiet time, to plan my day, or write in my journal. I do this on in silence, no music, no people and no TV.
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It is a very relaxing way to start the day. Now you are saying “just how am I going to do that?” or “My little ones wake up too early to do that”, you’re right, your life is not exactly that same way mine is, and I am lucky right now to have only teenagers in the house, rather than babies. The point start something… even if the only thing you do is wake up 15 minutes early and drink your juice in silence while you are writing your “To Do” list for the day. And for gosh sake, have a proper breakfast, your body has just spent the last 6 or 8 hours with no incoming food. Now is the time. It is important and matters, because you are important! “Water is the most neglected nutrient in your diet but one of the most vital”. ~ Kelly Barton Step 2 - Drinking 8 glasses of water Our bodies need water, simple as that, we don’t give it enough. We drink, juice, coffee, soda, all with sugar and many other extras.
this one is hard for me, I would prefer juice or soda. But water is what our bodies need. I like to keep a 1 litre bottle on my desk at work, drink 2 of these during the work day; I try for one before lunch and one after lunch. This is the minimum requirement for the day; any other water you drink at home before or after work is a bonus. Once you are into the habit it will be much easier to do. Keep in mind that drinks with caffeine in them will dehydrate you and you must drink more water to compensate. I am not a heath care professional and will never profess to be, I am sure you are all aware of multiple websites and professionals who can give you all the details if you need additional information. “We lift ourselves by our thought, we climb upon our vision of ourselves. If you want to enlarge your life, you must first enlarge your thought of it and of yourself. Hold the ideal of yourself as you long to be, always, everywhere - your ideal of what you long to attain - the ideal of health, efficiency, success”. ~ Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924)
Pure water is the goal! I don’t mind admitting A Digital Publication From Sacred Earth Partners
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Step 3 - Eat Well Again I am not a Health Care Professional, but there are some simple facts of life here. We need to eat to provide energy for our bodies. The food we eat needs to be quality food that will regulate and fuel our bodies efficiently. You need to find a system that works well for your body, your belief system, your lifestyle. Take care to visit a professional and do your research; don’t leave your health to chance. Take care of your health that same way you would take care of your child or your partner. Step 4 - Laugh a Lot! Scientists have found that laughter is a form of internal jogging that exercises the body and stimulates the release of beneficial brain neurotransmitters and hormones. Positive outlook and laughter is actually good for our health! Adults laugh approximately 15 times per day, while children laugh about 400 times a day! When we grew up, somehow we lost a few hundred laughs a day. By learning to smile and laugh again, more easily and often, we could have a profound and positive effect on our
Step 5 - Exercise your body
health and well being. The new science of psychoneuroimmunology is the study of how our state of mind affects our health. More than ever, scientific evidence suggests that laughter really is one of the best medicines. by Drs. Gael Crystal & Patrick Flanagan
Again I am not a Health Care Professional, but there are some simple facts of life here. Our bodies need to move to stay functioning well. Visit your Health Care Professional and do your research, pick the method that works with your lifestyle.
Need I say more, it is scientifically proven. Besides the health aspects Laughing just feels great. It raises the level of well-being, not just for you the laughter, but also all other people around you! Laughter is very infectious, laughing and enjoying life, rubs off on everyone around you.
Over the next few weeks I will tell you about some things that I like to do and why and how they have benefited me. I will explain how they added power to your life and how they show your body that you love it and fully appreciate all it does for you.
If you really feel uncomfortable and this is reaching right out of your comfort zone, spend some times with your kids! They will enjoy it and you will have the perfect cover to get your 400 laughs of the day in.
Step 6 - Exercise your brain In a recent study, researchers set out to improve the brain function in older people. • They focused on: Memory training. The subjects did brain teasers and crossword puzzles several times a day. • Exercise. They stretched and walked each day. • Diet. They ate five meals a day to maintain balanced blood sugar, and their meals included plenty of omega-3 fats and antioxidants. • Stress. In addition to stretching, the subjects
To resist the frigidity of old age one must combine the body, the mind and the heart - and to keep them in parallel vigour, one must exercise, study and love. ~ Karl von Bonstetten
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feel they are. Write the good stuff and the not so good stuff.
did relaxation exercises. At the end of two weeks, all of the subjects showed marked improvement on their brain scans ... and they performed better on the cognitive tests. A control group showed no changes.
Writing allows you to clear your subconscious of things that you are worrying about. It allows you to voice things that you are grateful for and it allows you to work through issues with other people.
Like the rest of your body, you have to give your brain the right fuel, adequate rest, and regular exercise for it to work properly. So take a break here and there to do a crossword puzzle. Or pull out that game of Scrabble and enjoy an evening with some friends. It’ll do your brain some good.
I recommend writing in the morning and at night… if only one time is available then do it at night. Writing at night allows you to write all your concerns and worries, once they are out of your head, you will be able to sleep much better.
Step 7 - Write in a journal
Step 8 - Positive Mental Attitude
This is a practice that some people do naturally, they may have started as kids and continued it on from there. For us adults that have never used journaling it can feel very imposing when first starting out.
Another decision needs to be made here… You need to make up your mind that you will always be positive. Some days are harder than others I know, but once you realize you have slipped into a negative frame of mind. Refocus and get back to being positive.
Keep a couple of things in mind. Definitely write with a paper and pen, it is all about the mental and emotional fulfillment that comes with actually writing in your own hand writing.
Positive Mental Attitude creates a whole aura around you, people enjoy your company, you are able to accomplish what you set out to. It affects all other areas of your life.
No one is going to read these, so do not write to please other people. Write things that are on your mind, no matter how insignificant that you A Digital Publication From Sacred Earth Partners
“Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes
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of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives”.
your journal, practicing mediation, listening to quiet music.
“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind”. ~ William James (1842 - 1910)
As little as 30 minutes of relaxation before bed can impact the quality of our sleep.
Step 9 - Smile every day Even if have to force yourself in the beginning to smile, just smile. You soon will believe it and your body will start to do it without even having to think about it. Like laughter is it infectious, you smile, other people around you will smile. “It is almost impossible to smile on the outside without feeling better on the inside.” ~ Author Unknown Step 10 - Relaxing Bedtime Ritual Just as with the Morning Ritual a Bedtime ritual is needed, the routine of specific items allows our bodies to know it is the time to sleep. Just as we do with children we need to do for ourselves.
These daily activities will turn into daily habits if you want them to…. The hardest part of that is having a support system that holds you up, that supports you in your weakest moments. You can succeed, you can change your life, and you can become a powerful woman that TAKES care of herself, who puts herself first, who takes time for energizing, for empowerment, for life giving self care.
Getting enough sleep – As a professional and as a mother, I can understand more than anyone, the mountains of tasks that we feel we need to accomplish each day. I also understand as a human, that each person has their particular sleeping patterns. As your coach and mentor, I am telling you, find the right number of hours of sleep for your person and then find a way to get that at all costs. Sleep deprivation can lead to car accidents, a long list of health issues, lack of performance at work, irritability with family and friends, and downright bitchiness. Chores can wait, have a power nap, go to bed 30 minutes earlier, plan our evening rituals so that the sleep that you do get is quality sleep. There are many ways to improve your sleep.
Find the methods that work for you! Some find a hot shower or bath, reading a book, writing in A Digital Publication From Sacred Earth Partners
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Interview with Sarah O’ Leary
Sarah O’Leary is on a mission to empower women to look and feel their absolute best as they transition through the transformative years of midlife – and beyond. She’s
an
herbalist,
a
wellness
coach, a writer and always a fun friend. Find her over on her website, Holistic Hot Sauce.
Of course my store was a healing center for people of any age and gender, but there was an emphasis on natural products for pregnancy, breastfeeding, and raising conscious children.
I connected with Sarah’s writing right away! She has a casual easy style that always leaves me laugh my pants off. After you have read our interview I highly recommend that you spend some time reading her blog. You will find great information on vibrant health, herbs and self care. You will love it.
Now that I’ve reached middle age, it’s a natural progression in my life to inspire and empower midlife women as they transition into perimenopause and the various challenges of aging gracefully.
Lori Lynn: Tell us a little about you and your personal mission.
Since selling my shop in my early 40s, I’ve gotten back in touch with some of my old dreams and new ones have blossomed inside me. I look around and see so many women my age who feel stuck and are not pursuing what they truly love and dream of. So this, in addition to cultivating radiant health and wellbeing, is part of my mission in working with midlife women.
Sarah: I’ve been on the path of empowering women for most of my adult life. This has revolved mostly around fostering natural health for women and their families, as well as sharing pathways to personal and spiritual growth. When I was a (very) young mother I opened up a brick & mortar herb shop, and my mission was to provide healing tools and resources – especially for other young moms. I’d discovered the healing magic of medicinal herbs when my own child was suffering from a nasty skin infection, and since they were not readily available in my community I decided to become the resource.
My website, Holistic Hot Sauce, is a place where women can gather to learn and share ideas on making this part of life a time to truly soar. Together we build a foundation of natural wellness and energy so we can look and feel radiant and fabulous, step into our power and toward our true destinies.
I sold high quality herbs, so other mothers could have natural remedies for themselves and their families, but also books and many other items that encouraged overall well being. A Digital Publication From Sacred Earth Partners
My ultimate vision is to empower hundreds and even thousands of women to replenish and regain that vital life force, enjoy life to the fullest
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and use their individual gifts to make a difference for others. Lori Lynn: Explain what the “power surge” is? Sarah: One of my favorite radical herbalists, Susun Weed, often refers to hot flashes as ‘power surges.’ And that’s certainly a more positive way to view one of the more uncomfortable symptoms of menopause and perimenopause! The whole thing got me thinking. As I continued to research the menopausal passage I discovered that there are actual changes in our brain chemistry during this time – it’s not just hormones, although those shifts are pretty potent. It turns out that the (peri)menopausal passage signifies a potent time of transformation in a woman’s life. For many women it occurs at a time when her day-to-day life is changing because her children are either grown or nearly so and her little nest is emptying. But even women who haven’t raised families, or those who still have young children in the home, begin to notice a change in their own psyches. It’s like their bulls**t radar has been turned way up.
and peaks during the motherhood years. Hormones and cultural conditioning conspire to make us feel guilty and selfish if we attend to our own needs when others are asking.
At midlife most women become way less tolerant and accommodating of people and activities that they don’t like. They can no longer easily shrug off injustice or bad behavior for the sake of smoothing everything over. Something is changing and it’s big. The Change we go through at menopause can be viewed as a gift – a leg-up to a shift in consciousness, to transforming into the woman we know in our own heart we can be! That’s the real Power Surge, whether you’re hot flashing or not. This is a time in life when we, as women, can truly make a difference! And collectively the potential is even greater. I’m passionate about showing women this power surge inside of them, helping them access that powerful core so we can collectively do some world-changing! Lori Lynn: I know that self care is area that you are passionate about, what do you think gets in the way of most women enjoying self care?
This comes into play even for women who don’t choose to bear children. That conditioning goes deep, and women tend to be solicitous of bosses, co-workers, friends, or whoever else might be wanting love and attention.
Sarah: Culture and biology encourage women to nurture others – this starts at an early age,
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This often leaves little, if any, time for self care and certainly no time for any sort of deep and lasting self cherishing. I think that, for a lot of women, self care has gotten to be yet another thing they ‘supposed’ to do. Yet another thing to feel guilty about slacking on. For some, the word has become synonomous with a ‘have to’, like exercising, or cutting out sugar, or anything that we’re encouraged to do because ‘it’s good for us.’
be taking long, hot baths, long walks, meditating, sleeping more and doing other things that required a chunk out of my already packed day. I was a workaholic, and any time spent away from work was dedicated to my family or friendships. I couldn’t imagine making time for just me.
ent forms of self care. I’ve also come to embrace – and make time for - the more traditional self care activities. I’m still super busy, involved in new business endeavors and loads of activities. I still get obsessed with productivity, counting a day as good if I’ve gotten X amount of things ‘done.’
What I didn’t realize is that I actually did do some self care activities – I just didn’t consider them to be self care. I had that mindset that it had to kind of be some sort of sacrifice if it was true self care.
Yet, I’m wiser now and I can catch myself when I begin to slip out of balance – between ‘doing’ and ‘being.’
Lori Lynn: What is your favorite self care routine?
It’s kind of sad that ‘good for you’ has become something that seems like a bitter but necessary pill, but there you have it. The conundrums of our culture.
Sarah: I really can’t say I have one favorite – because I have so many that kind of rotate in my affections. But I’d have to say that one indispensable routine is to incorporate some movement into my day.
Lori Lynn: Do you struggle with self care, what are your personal challenges? Sarah: I’ve struggled with self care for most of my adult life – especially during the years when my kids were little and I was running a growing business. I was busy, busy from before dawn to way after dark, and in my mind ‘self care’ meant I should
I understand now that if I skimp on the self care, than I actually become less productive.
But eating a few squares of chocolate, making it to the gym for a workout, spending an evening with some friends and a bottle of wine – I now realize that all of these were forms of self care. Nowadays, I accept and embrace many differ-
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I’ve actually come to crave this and I just don’t feel good if I don’t at least do some stretching and walking during the day. It’s unfortunate that our modern lifestyles often require that we ‘add’ movement into our day. It’s no longer just a given, and many of us who
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have sedentary jobs and spend most of our day looking at a computer screen. Yet, getting up and moving gives so much more benefit than just burning a few calories. Our emotional, spiritual and physical health all get a tremendous boost when we attend to this need. My favorite way to do this is to get outside in nature for a walk or run – because that exponentially increases how good I feel from the movement and exercise. But, if it’s raining or freezing I’m also happy to do a little dancing, yoga, Pilates or stretching on my rug. Any kind of movement is definitely my favorite way to care for myself. Lori Lynn: What advice would you give to women out there about making their self care a priority? Sarah: Like any habit change, prioritizing self care can only happen with super small, yet consistent steps. I think a lot of women hit a roadblock when they get all excited and on a health kick and try to make huge changes all at once. They go on a diet, join a gym, resolve to sleep eight hours every night and start each morning with 20 minutes of meditation.
herself, and perhaps share the commitment with her loved ones and ask for their support. Once she finds success with adding a small new self care ritual into her week, it becomes easier to add another – or perhaps increase the amount of time spent on the first self care addition.
Okay, that might be an exaggeration – but even one of these things can be too big a step all at once. We’re dealing with a ton of resistance when we begin to care for ourselves – for all of those reasons discussed above. Take on too much, too soon, and all that inner resistance and conditioning will kick in and you’ll be back on the couch with a bag of potato chips and the remote in no time. (And sometimes that’s exactly what you need for your self care, but if you’re feeling like you need that on a regular basis it’s because your spirit is crying out for some truly deep nurturing.)
And why make self care a priority? So many reasons! It’s amazing how much more easily we can give to others when we have nourished and replenished our own spirits. When we care for ourselves we are sending a message of love and acceptance to our inner selves – this not only feeds our creative fire, it naturally propels us closer to our dreams. All of this is magnified at midlife.
So I think if a woman wants to allow more self care into her life she could look at where she’s at now and choose one small little act of self care that she could add in, perhaps just once or twice a week.
Thanks so much for sharing your insights with our readers!
What it is will be different for each individual woman. The possibilities are endless – five minutes of movement, 15 minutes reading in your room without any kids, an extra glass of water per day, an extra serving of a tasty vegetable, a visit with a friend.
Again you can find Sarah on her Website Holistic Hot Sauce.
The trick is that it needs to be something small enough that it’s truly doable. And even then she may need to write down a little commitment to
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books, videos, audio, sound effects, music and so on.
3 Powerful and Simple Relaxation Strategies In the fast pace world we live in today, life can be very stressful with the bills, children and just everyday normal life wearing you down. Life will have turbulence and will disturb you often if you allow. You do not have control over most things in life, but you do have control of you. We need to find a way to eliminate the stress through Power Relaxation. Power Relaxation: Power relaxation is a term used to describe the fountain of power within us that helps us regain control and allows us to relax. Life can bear strong weight on one’s shoulders. In life we often deal with the unknown, which causes a person to feel overwhelmed. Fear of the unknown is the leading source of unwarranted stress. When a person wanders through life continuing to fear the unknown, changes, or what he or she has no control over, it builds
Personally, in my experience music soothes the soul mores so than any other tool we have available. Different music works at different times, I recommend having a large varied selection to call on.
stress, until it gradually leads to health problems. To avoid this stress, our mind has to take control and recognize the physical changes in the body. Control the mind and body:
But, we are different, so you must find what soothes your soul. For some visual aids, meditation movies or guided meditations with sound work to relax the mind, the sound effects bring in the ocean waves, relaxing your mind as you feel nature take control of your body. Nature is a powerful tool we can use to gain control.
Stress is taking a high toll on millions of people. What happens is people give up, feeling hopeless due to the lack of control. Taking action is the start to controlling the mind and body. You have the power within to take control, yet you must learn to accept in order to gain control. Acceptance is a powerful word that guides one to success. When a person moves to accept what they can’t change, such as the unknown, only then can a person move to change what they can.
Breathe into relaxation: Breathe deep in and out slowly and concentrate on letting your mind drift taking with it your body. I like to breathe in for 5 counts and breathe out for 5 counts, very slowly. Think about lying on a soft cloud and you can hear the birds around you, smell the flowers and hear water running in the background.
Music relaxes the soul: Sometimes we have to look around our environment to find strategies to assist us find our internal power. Outside us are helpful tools including
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Breathe, keeping it slow and deep, slowly forgetting about the stressful day, clear your mind.
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As you breathe slowly, you’ll begin to feel your body relaxing increasingly. Your limbs might start feeling heavy on one side or even both sides. This is ok because they are beginning to go into the relaxation mode. Relaxation is now working its way through your body; and as it does it will let the blood flow more easily as it washes through each cell on the way. Keep breathing deep and slowly, allowing your inner power to take control and bring comfort along with it. You’ll begin to feel more in control as the tension starts to let up. Letting your back relax and thinking about floating on that cloud you’ll soon feel a lot better. Relaxation will start to flow through your body taking some of the stress with the tension. As you relax, your breathing will start to change also by becoming more relaxed along with your body. Alone and Quiet: Look around your house find a place that you feel peaceful, maybe it is a chair in the corner of the living room. Maybe it is in the middle of your bed, with the sunshine pouring through the window or go outside and sit on the fresh green grass under a tree. Find a place where you will not be disturbed for at least 15 minutes.
I like to start my day with at least one of these strategies; it just adds such a feeling of peace and power that keeps you in perfect balance. Knowing you have the ability to control how you are going to feel each day regardless of the stress, unknown or challenges that come your way… that is an amazing feeling!
Once you’ve found the perfect spot lay or sit down be sure your leg and arms aren’t crossed and you’re comfortable at the same time. Now, just be alone! You need to be comfortable to let your body release tension in order to eliminate some of the stress. It takes practice and time to learn how to relax but just take it slow. It becomes easier with more practice and the easier it becomes the more stress you’ll be able to get off your mind. Now you can start relaxing. Continuous Practice: When learning new relaxation strategies you need to make a few small changes in your daily routine. I like to call these Inspired Actions. Take time out for yourself to enjoy your new relaxed feeling and you’ll soon feel better and happier. Getting rid of some of that stress and relaxing makes a world of difference on a person’s life. By practicing these strategies daily you will learn to draw your power from your own inner power reserve.
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Tools + Resources
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Self Care Assement Instructions Circle the number which accurately scores where you are for each statement. 1. I eat and enjoy only healthy foods. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True 2. I do not say “yes” when I want to say “no.” Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True 3. I feel no worry, stress or dread. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True 4. I enjoy exercising my body regularly. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True 5. I have compelling reasons for investing in self care. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True 6. I sleep fully and restfully. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True 7. My physical environment is peaceful and nourishing. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True
8. I don’t owe anyone anything. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True
18. My body is very very healthy. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True
9. My personal needs are met. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True
19. I am free from caffeine & adrenaline. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True
10. People respect me all of the time. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True
20. I am not harming myself in any way. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True
11. I have plenty of space in my day and in my life. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True 12. My Consistently honored self care routines nourish me. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True
Current Score
13. I have eveloved beyond my vices. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True 14. My mind is clear; my heart is open. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True
Scoring 100: Congratulations 0-99: Keep Going
15. I am richly affected by nature. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True 16. My home is safe; I am safe. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True 17. Money is not a concern. Less True 0 1 2 3 4 5 More True
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Centering Exercise Here is a sample exercise to help you ground. Stand or sit comfortably on the floor or ground. If you are not on the first story, that is okay, just be as close to the actual ground as you can for the space you are in. Visualize roots slowly extending from your feet (or other body parts touching the surface). Slowly they travel down, down, until the meet the soil. This is easy if you are outside, if you are not, imagine them traveling down throughout the layers of building, down through the foundation and eventually into the soil. Imagine the feel of the cool, secure soil all around your roots, keeping you safe, taking away all impurities. Imagine the smell of fresh, wholesome earth, as if you were turning over dirt to plant the first seed of spring.
Imagine that you are a giant, primeval redwood (or other tree of your choosing). You are sturdy and confident. You are part of the earth, yet distinct from it. Your roots go down deep into the earth and all excess “nervous” energy, tension and stress flow down your roots and seep harmlessly into the earth, where the loving earth accepts and is nourished by it. In return the earth sends back calming nutrients, stability, and ancient serenity. You are an ancient tree, your roots go deep into the ground. You have been here before humans walked this area, you have seen so much. You have seen most of your old comrades die, be struck by lighting, be chopped own to build for the people, but you withstand. As you stand there, you think about the rings within your mighty trunk. The ones just inside your bark remind you of last spring’s rain. The
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ones inside that of the cold year when you didn’t grow so much. Continue to work inward until you reach the center rings, those rings of dark wood at your core that represent the inner you, your heart, your oldest part. Breathe from that part. Suck the air in through all the rings to that central core. Feel your life force gather and recharge in you center. Pull it back from the outermost limbs where the growth may be unbalanced. Feel the sap brimming in your core. Once you feel totally charged, let it go and it will course through you, back out energizing you, but at your center is still the central heart of your energy, calm, full and ready for anything. Most of all have fun and get excited!
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Morning Ritual Work Sheet 1.
Centering + Meditation + 5 Second Breathing
2.
Intention for the Day
3.
What is working in your life right now
4.
Review your goals and your Inspired Actions
5.
I want it because‌?
Daily Intention and Guidance Worksheet My intention for today is: ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
How do I want to feel? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
In what areas of my life do I request guidance today? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
Today’s ideal scene: ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________
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Thanks and Attributions Thank you so much to every one that made this months magazine a success!
Images: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
By John-Morgan By shioshvili By Pink Sherbet Photography By AlexPears By Robert S. Donovan By Edward Dalmulder By kelp1966 By aussiegall By aussiegall By Clearly Ambiguous By mrhayata by Un ragazzo chiamato Bi by » Zitona « By Simon Blackley By xsomnis By Ray Bouknight
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Contact Info Email Mail Info@SacredEarthPartners.com Snail Mail
Website: www.SacredEarthPartners.com
Sacred Earth Partners Training and Retreat Center Inc. 6326 37th Ave NW Edmonton AB Canada T6L 1H8
Email: Info@SacredEarthPartners.com Twitter: @LoriLynnSmith Facebook: www.facebook.com/lori.smith Google+: www.gplus.to/lorilynnsmith Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/lorilynnsmith Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/thepassiondiva
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