TO MY BELOVED FAMILY
A SOLDIER'S TRIUMPH BY CHECK YEE
ISSUE 59 JULY 2021
CHECK AND PHYLLIS MARRIED IN HONG KONG.
BEDSIDE STORY TIME: PHYLLIS, KEILAH AND KAREN
PHYLLIS AND DAUGHTER #1, KEILAH AND #2 DAUGHTER, KAREN
KAREN, DAD (CHECK), MOM (PHYLLIS), KERIENA AND KEILAH
JULY 4, 2021. Today is the 30th anniversary of my beloved wife, Major Phyllis Mah Yee’s Promotion to Glory. She served faithfully as a Salvation Army officer/pastor for 32 years.
MOST PEOPLE CALLED US “CHECK AND PHYLLIS."
One morning years after her death, I visited Phyllis’s grave and found some fresh flowers attached with a card. It said, “Mommy, We miss you so much. There’s not a day that goes by that we don’t think about you. I wish you were still with us.” The date of the note read: July 4, 2001—10 years. Yes, the 10th anniversary of when Phyllis left us. Already, today is the 30th anniversary since she's been gone. It seems she is still among us in some way. What if she’s indeed returning to us, will she recognize her family at all? All our three daughters, Keilah, Karen, and Keriena are married by now. She now has three sonsin-law, nine grandchildren, and two greatgrandchildren.
I detached Keriena’s card from the flowers and stared at it in my palm. I read the note again and again, and there I fell into memory lane. Here at the Cypress Lawn Memory Park, it was deadly quiet.
I was all alone, searching for Phyllis in between headstones.
REUNION: CHECK AND PHYLLIS GREETED FORMER YOUTH COMING HOME (1960’S).
PHYLLIS' GIRLRS: SUNBEAMS TROOPS
PHYLLIS’ MESSAGE: YOU ARE LITTLE SUNBEAM, SHINNING GOD. YOUR MOTTO IS "DO RIGHT."
PHYLLIS’ MESSAGE: THIS CROSS, MADE FROM A CHRISTMAS TREE, SIGNIFIED JESUS CHRIST COMING TO SAVE US FROM SIN.
Here’s a brief chronicle of Phyllis’ last 131 days before her life was snatched: 1991
THE LAST MOTHER'S DAY WITH THEIR MOM.
FEB 21
Ladies of the Women’s Group came to our house. Phyllis served them with severe pain in her abdomen, but didn't say a word.
FEB 26
She said to me, "It is." I asked, "It is what?" "It is cancer," she answer calmly. There were medical books scattered around her. Her symptoms matched what the book's diagnoses said.
MAR 13
She entered St. Mary’s hospital for surgery.
MAR 25
She returned to the hospital for a second surgery. Doctors said they couldn’t do any thing more to help, ”Treasure your days with her,” the doctor said.
APR 7
The ambulance came to pick her up from home. She never came back.
MAY 12
On Mother’s Day, we took our last picture with the whole family. She said “I can only sit up for 15 minutes.”
JUN 1
Her pain tortured her back and forth, chewing her body and soul. She cried out.
OUR LAST FAMILY PICTURE: PHYLLIS SAID, “ HURRY UP. I CAN ONLY SIT FOR 15 MINUTES."
JUN 21
She wrote an open letter to the church congregation with the theme, "Joy and pain are a pair of twins. You can’t have one without the other."
JUN 24
With permission from the hospital, church members filed in to visit. She gave each visitor a stem of iris and a specially made lapel pin with the words, “Jesus keeps me going.” Momentarily she would joke around, “Larry, get married.” When the whispering and sobbing and the soft sound of tip-toe footsteps had subsided. Karen said, “How Mom loves them.” I added, “How they love Mom.”
JUN 29
With the 40th Anniversary of our marriage arriving in a week, I arranged Rev. Ming Lee, who officiated our wedding four decades ago in Hong Kong, to come and conduct a renewal of our marriage vows. Phyllis asked Karen to bring her pearl necklace from home for the occasion.
JULY 4
Phyllis was wheeled to the family waiting room. Our whole family came together to celebrate Independence Day with Phyllis, but she was in a deep coma.
8:15 PM
It was Keriena’s turn to be with her Mom. She called home, crying hysterically, “Mom is gone.” Yes. She is now in her own independence. No more I.V.’s and all other hook-ups. No more pain. She entered into a new joy. The mortal now becomes immortal.
PAGE FOUR| JOURNEY
Since she was 13 years old in China, Phyllis was most assured of her salvation to be with Jesus. As soon as she heard the doctor’s verdict, she planned her own funeral service. One of the songs she selected is a hymn written by Francis A. Blackmore.
THE SALVATIONIST'S SALUTE TO A SOLDIER’S TRIUMPH.
PAGE FOUR| JOURNEY
“Once I thought I walked with Jesus, Yet such changeful feelings had, Sometimes trusting, sometimes doubting Sometimes joyful, sometimes sad…” Francis A. Blackmore (1855-1930)
PAGE FOUR| JOURNEY
The movie Immortal Love is the story of Beethoven. On his death bed his last words to his lover were, "Must it be?" His lover responded, "It must be!" I went to bed with tear-filled eyes. I think of Phyllis’ passing and I remember many midnight hours where she got up and kneeled at her bedside to pray. Maybe she was asking God to grant her more years to serve and she would ask, "Must it be?" Then God would answer, "Yes, my child, it must be."
The stubbornness of death. Under his pen, King Solomon wrote, "For love is as strong as death… Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it "(Song of Solomon 8:6-7). Not all pain can time heal. The longer our beloved is gone, the deeper our pain lasts. Until heaven …
It is by the divine will of God who sees fit to call His faithful return unto Himself. The Salvation Army honored its valiant soldier with the last promotion: Promotion to Glory. Major Phyllis Mah Yee had laid down her sword and entered the pearly gates triumphantly. Hallelujah!
MAY HER LEGACY CONTINUE THROUGH THE GENERATIONS.
GRANDDAUGHTER, NIKOLE (2), WELCOMING PO-PO HOME AFTER SURGERY.
AFTERWARD When I was on a flight to Cape Town to write my first book, I reread Gung Gung's book, Wings of Dawn. I brought it with me to study my ancestral heritage in order to inform my own story, and the story I was just beginning to write. Understanding the legacy my Po-Po lived has provided a sense of stability—grounding my experiences that have evolved throughout different parts of the world. I was just 2 years old when she died. Though I have no memory of her, Gung Gung's writings have helped me reconnect with her spirit. I can also feel Po-Po's caring, compassionate, and merciful heart evident in the example of my mother. Growing up, she often told me, "Your Po-Po was generous and kind—she gave of herself in loving service to her community." I take these attributes with me wherever I go, hoping to extend her generosity and kindness in loving service to all I encounter. The strength of my bloodline has prepared me for the work I do today—encountering stories of immense pain in places of poverty, oppression, and violence. My decade of work with survivors of sexual violence have taught me that pain expands our capacity for joy. I rest in this tension, trusting, waiting, and praying that joy will reveal itself to my community in time. I rely on the fortitude of my ancestors daily, knowing that the pain they've experienced might have the potential to be redeemed through me. I was astonished to read Po-Po's last words in an open letter to her church: "Ironically, joy and pain seem inseparable, but I will be brave." I felt a warmth within my chest, letting me know that Po-Po's spirit was with me on the plane, with me as I wrote my book, with me in my pain, with me as I notice joy expand within me. May I also be brave. NIKOLE LIM Author of Liberation is Here