Music Artist SPOT LIGHT
Valorie Burton
“Tips & lessons I’ve learned as an author”
Hart Ramsey...
Being WHOLE as a Single Woman
Speaks to Our Men
Walking Out Forgiveness
Life After DIVORCE Pastor’s Wives Corner
How to Maintain Your Identity in a Marriage
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W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G 1
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YOUTH
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FEATURE
Contents
07 | Inspiration
HEALING IS A PROCESS SISTER2SISTER LIFE AFTER DIVORCE BROKEN BUT PRICELESS
10 | Single, Saved & Fabulous
HOW TO WALK OUT FORGIVENESS HOW TO OVERCOME SEXUAL FRUSTRATIONS & TEMPTAIONS
11 | Pastor’s Wives Column
WEALTH THE EVIL MONSTER
13 | Pastor’s Wives Corner PASTOR LASHON YOUNG,
a First Lady turned pastor shares her story of how she turned her pain into power after the death of her husband.
15 | Personal Development
DELIVERANCE IS NOT AT THE ALTAR REBUILDING FROM GROUND ZERO PURSUIT OF PURPOSE ORGANIZATION VS. BALANCE
18 | COVER STORY VALORIE BURTON
You may recognize her from TV or perhaps you have read a few of her books. Author Valorie Burton shares tips & lessons she has learned as an author.
21 | Parenting
DADDY’S DAUGHTERS I AM WHO I SAY I AM!
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HEALTH
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22 | Beauty & Fashion
“PERFECT EYEBROWS IN 5 MINUTES OR LESS...” STEP OUT OF THE BOX
25 | Artist Spotlight
MEET UNCLE REECE...
a 21st Century Gospel Rapper with a powerful message for our youth, encouraging them to make Jesus their choice.
27 | Love & Relationships
MARRIAGE UNDER CONSTRUCTION
28 | Health & Fitness
GOING GREEN 4 WAYS TO PRIORITIZE YOUR HEALTH TOP 10 WAYS TO IMPROVE ENERGY & PERFORMANCE
31 | Men of Standard
FEATURE: PASTOR HART RAMSEY FINDING YOUR NEXT LEVEL CHANGING THE GAME
Five Game Changing Plays
THE GENTLEMEN’S CORNER
Valley of the Giants
Next Month’s Feature Story... Dr. Joyce Thornton: Founder of the Covenant Sisters Movement!
Carla Cannon
CEO/FOUNDER STAFF EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Carla Cannon
MANAGING EDITOR Lita P. Ward
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Elizabeth White Tarrina Terrell Valerie Frazier Erin Austin PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Tee Way Tonya Dallas Nanette Floyd Patterson MA, LPC SINGLE, SAVED & FABULOUS LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS MEN OF STANDARD
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PASTOR’S WIVES COLUMN HEALTH & FITNESS
Emilie Robinson Dr. Lorneka Joseph Amy Polk
PARENTING
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ur Mission is to empower, educate & inspire global women to live victorious lives while leading them into their destiny. We not only focus on mainstream artists but anyone who is making a difference in their community. To be featured please email us at info@ womenofstandard.org
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Publisher’s
Voice
Dreams ARE Real
T
his is a very exciting issue for me! We are two months away from celebrating 2 years since the birthing of this very magazine you are reading! Most people tend to focus on the glitz, glamour and phenomenal people the Lord favors me to speak with, however, to produce this magazine monthly is hard work. I have shed many tears because it is stressful working with various people, delegating tasks, and having the financial stability to withstand this type of ministry. But guess what? Any vision the Lord gives if it is worth having you will at some time or another be tempted to give it up, walk away from it and do Publisher/Founder something else. Sure, I’ve had thoughts of Connect with Carla Today! releasing this vision and focusing moreso on writing books, conducting seminars carla@womenofstandard.org and conferences to empower people. But t @CarlaRCannon those things come easy for me but sticking f www.facebook.com/WomenofStandard through during tough times is where my challenge arise. However, I have learned that www.carlacannon.com if you stick to a thing you will experience great rewards if you don’t quit before things really begin to take off for you! Another special thing about this month is the very woman you see on the cover, Author
Carla Cannon
Valorie Burton is one I never imagined that I would have the privilege of speaking with. I remember walking the aisles of Barnes & Noble (for I am an absolute book lover) and I can recall picking up her book, What’s REALLY Holding You Back? and that was the first time I ever learned who this lady was. I tell you reading her books changed my life. They helped me to eliminate all excuses, build my confidence to create a plan then have enough courage to follow through with it! It is because of women such as Valorie that I am inspired to do what I do today. I tell you my friend dreams are indeed real and you must understand the sky is never ending therefore there are no limits. The only one who can stand in the way of you and the life you desire is YOU! I dare you to begin to dream again. I dare you to set goals and create action plans and work diligently to ensure every one of them come to past! Lastly, believe in yourself! Out of all of the negative voices you must shhhhhhhhhh them all and tell yourself, “I can do this” . Truth is you can because DREAMS ARE REAL!
YOUR OPINION MATTERS TO US so we want to hear from you. Write us and let us know how you are enjoying the Women of Standard magazine. Let us know what we are doing right and what you want to see even more of. We are here to be a resource for women and men alike so we want to make sure that what we are providing month in and month out is meeting the needs of those who support us. Please send all correspondence to info@womenofstandard.org. Your question or comment may be featured in an upcoming issue of WOS magazine. AUGUST 2013
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Editor’s
Corner
ACTIVATE YOUR VISION! BY: LITA P. WARD
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If you cannot see it, you will not have it! If you cannot believe it, you will not and cannot become it! Many people have stopped dreaming and aspiring for greater things due to what they are physically seeing and hearing. Some have listened and believed the negativity their enemies and even more so, what their family and friends have told them. “You can’t do that; you can’t become that. That’s too great or too big for you to accomplish!” Naturally, our physical vision is extremely important. Without it, we could not see or function without assistance of some kind. More than likely, one would have to rely upon someone or something due to this common impairment. Our spiritual vision is just as significant and crucial to how fully we function in our purpose and potential. Proverbs 29:18 declares “For lack of vision my people perish.” We perish or die for a lack of vision, and don’t achieve things in life. We watch other folk accomplish great things and sit back wondering whether we could have done the same or even better. We wonder if God could use us in that manner; unknowingly we place limitations on Him. Who are you listening to and what are you not remembering? Faith comes by what you hear, whether it is good or bad. If you are listening to negative talk, then you will have the faith
that you cannot do a thing. But if you are hearing positive, reinforcing messages, then you will have the faith that you can do it. You will activate your vision and work towards your vision’s manifestation. Everyone is given a measure of faith, but it is up to the individual on how he or she uses it. The Word of God testifies of He Who gives us vision and the One Who can and will bring it to pass. You just have to see it, believe it and work towards it. As I recall the many times I doubted whether God could use me, I realize that it wasn’t because I lacked the gift or the calling, but I lacked the confidence and faith to move towards it. God would bless me with the dreams and the vision, but I was afraid of failure and what folk would say. Then one day, I got tired of being afraid and listening to the whispers of the doubters and vision stealers. Having the vision was no longer enough; it had to be activated. I remembered the Word of God, believing that I could do all things and refused to back down. I stepped out of my comfort zone and said, “If God be for me, who can be against me?” Many weapons of distraction, doubt, and demise will form, but none of them will prosper. Trust and believe in God’s Word and watch your vision come to pass. Activate your vision; see it, believe in it and work towards it!
Revealing the Esther Within
“Healing is a PROCESS: RECEIVE IT” By: Elizabeth White
ealing happens in many different forms. Healing does not only take place in the physical but also emotionally and mentally. For instance, I have battled with healing in the physical as well as inwardly. I was born with sickle cell anemia, and life dealt me a dead beat father, in the natural. The difference between the two is that I wanted healing in one area, but in the other I did not even know I needed healing. I am not even sure I wanted healing from the wounds that my father left me. Before I came to Christ, I wanted to be angry with him; I wanted to be able to hold a grudge against him for all that he put me through! That was foolish thinking because I was only hurting myself. Here is how the two intertwined. I was a young girl, in a full-fledged sickle cell crisis and my mother was holding me in her arms trying to make me feel better until my medicine took effect. Yet, my father sat there arguing with her. Instead of coming to my aid, he was adding more pain. Unfortunately, this is one of the many sad memories I have of my father. When he and my mom divorced that was the end of our relationship. You may think it is sad, but I believe his absence made me into the person I am today: strong, independent, a fighter, and carefree! I am a no nonsense type
of person and my mother didn’t let our circumstances dictate our future. She instilled vital principles in us to ensure that we would not go through what she went through in life, with the help of our true Father, our Heavenly Father. She allowed Him to lead us, and be the Head of our household. We, my brothers, sisters and I are optimistic people; we believe in ourselves, love people, and ultimately we love Jesus! Not having our natural father around drove us to have dependence on God the Father which is impeccable! Why? Because we watched our mother raise four children and two with sickle cell anemia. She went to school and earned her master’s degree in counseling, and still managed to serve in ministry! When my brothers would play and say, “I’m the man of this house,” she would immediately correct them saying, “Nope, God is the Head of this house.” Here we are years later, receiving complete healing from what life dealt and learning to use what we went through to help others. Let me encourage you by saying never look at what you went through in a negative way. Allow God to heal you and show you how to turn your situation around for His glory! Write a book! Tell your testimony to the nations and it will help someone else! You can be an overcomer in Jesus name!
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Inspiration
Sister 2Sister By: Valerie Frazier
We often make light of Oprah Winfrey’s infamous line in the film The Color Purple. Oprah’s character Sofia is quoted as saying: “All my life I had to fight, I had to fight my daddy, I had to fight my uncles, and I had to fight my brothers…I never thought I would have to fight in my own house.” This profound statement has been the mantra for so many of us. Could this be the result of the ultimate fight that was proclaimed at beginning of time: the fight between all women and our adversary, Satan himself? “I will put enmity between thee and the woman and between thy seed and her seed…” (Genesis 3:15). When Eve ate the forbidden fruit and persuaded her husband Adam to do the same, a fury of dissension was released in the earth. The careless decision to disobey God’s instruction caused God Hhto pronounce the ultimate punishment, “enmity between woman and the devil. “ Translation in The Message Bible explains this rivalry as “I’m declaring war between you and the Woman, between your offspring and hers” (Genesis 3:15). If we were to take notice of the plight of women, we will see that these effects of this war have manifested itself throughout history. In some parts of the world we have been viewed as property and the possession of others. In other parts of the world, female infants are killed once they are born simply because of their gender. Then we are challenged by the definitive war that sadly exists between one another. This enmity (an intense hate, animosity, hostility, grudge and bitterness) has been the root of dissention that all Sisters have had to unfortunately encounter and endure. I can visibly recall when my then four year old daughter met her five year old female cousin for the first time. Ironically they just happened to be wearing similar dresses. These young divas stood back and sized one another up and down as though they were pronounced “frenemies”. This particular incident confirmed that the notion of enmity is real and innate in the female species. This cattiness has the potential to destroy families, friendships, professional partnerships as well as churches. We have to remind ourselves that our fight is not against our Sisters. “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities…” (Ephesians 6:12). If we are not vigilant, instead of teaming up against our adversary, we team up against one another. Refuse to be a pawn in the devil’s scheme to use you against your Sister. We are Sisters and it is obvious that we are better together! One can only imagine the good works that we could accomplish as we pool our talents and giftings together. With unlimited resources and opportunities at our reach, let’s purpose in our hearts to stop fighting one another and come together. We could change the world and really rule and walk in the dominion that God promised us all. Stop declaring war on one another and declare it against the real enemy! AUGUST 2013
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| Inspiration | Soaring Above It All
Life After Divorce By: Tarrina Terrell, MEd, CACII
ing, ring, ring! This is the sound of the school bell for another school year. Children are neatly dressed and styled for school and they are excited to return to school in a new grade! However, the first day at school might pose some problems for many students. Why? There is discord between parents. The effect of separation and divorce affect many children as they return to school. Mom and dad may be in new relationships and all parties plan on being at the first day of school. So I pose the question, “Can we all just get along?”
I was reading the article 32 Shocking Statistics about Divorce by McKinley Irvin that was in a family law blog. The article stated that the US Census Bureau reports that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. More shocking facts:
I am an avid watcher of the TV show Iyanla Fix My Life. There was an episode where Iyanla, the host was attempting to bring harmony to a divorced couple with children. TV reality star Sheree of The Real Housewives of Atlanta and her ex-husband retired NFL player Bob Whitfield had much discord. The divorced couple discussed their dislike for each other and the tension was thick. Iyanla suggested that as parents they should put their issues to the side and co-parent effectively. Sheree and Bob had so many unresolved issues that it began to affect their children. Sadly, this discord caused Bob to be absent in the lives of their children. Unfortunately, this is very common in today’s society. Is it possible to get along after a divorce or break up when children are involved? Although there may be issues, can you still coexist in the same space for the sake of the children? I have been in this exact situation. Does it require self-work and maturity? Yes! Can it be done? Yes!
So, what impact does this have on the children? Children love both parents and should not have to choose one over the other. Iyanla stated with passion that when parents are divorced and they enter into new relationships, what the other parent is doing in the relationship “is none of your business!” Whew; I know that cuts! But the only business the parents have in common are the children.
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41 percent of first marriages end in divorce. 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce. 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.
Adults should want their kids to be happy and enjoy their childhood. I suggest if you are harboring issues from a divorce, seek therapy. Seek someone who you can be real and honest with. Yes, the impact of divorce or the end of a relationship may sting! But what will sting more is having innocent children experiencing psychological trauma because the parents could not get along.
Broken but Priceless: Bald Yet Beautiful By: Erin Elizabeth Austin
“It is estimated that 40% of American women will experience some form of hair loss during their lives.” I love this time of year – the time when women can wear sundresses, cute sandals, and beautiful wigs. I’m sure you are thinking wigs? Whoever said anything about wearing wigs? Although men often dread the time in life when they may lose their hair, few women ever think they will be forced to resort to wigs, hats, and scarves to hide their bald heads. Unfortunately, this problem is all too common. It is estimated that 40% of American women will experience some form of hair loss during their lives. There are many causes of hair loss, also known as alopecia, but the most common have to do with chronic illnesses. Diseases like hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, autoimmune diseases such as lupus and Crohns, hormonal imbalances, muscular dystrophy, and diseases of the pituitary gland, anemia, and cancer can all cause women to lose their hair. People often joke about male-patterned baldness and tease those who have lost their hair, but when it comes to hair loss among women, few are able to laugh about their plight. I learned this truth the hard way four years ago when my hair began to fall out by the handfuls. After being diagnosed with lupus as a high school senior, I quickly learned to laugh at the crazy things my body decided to do, but even I couldn’t find anything humorous about losing my hair. When a woman loses her hair, it is devastating. Our beauty, and in turn, our self-worth and confidence are often associated with our hair. So when we lose our hair, it is easy to believe
we are ugly. It doesn’t matter if we find ways to camouflage our hair loss. In our minds, we know what’s hiding under the wig or scarf. I wish I could say there’s a magic remedy that enables a woman to keep her self-esteem and confidence intact when she loses her hair, but there isn’t. However, during my time of battling hair loss I did learn ways to combat those unpleasant thoughts and feelings and I have shared a few of them with you below: 1) Start your day thanking God for your life, and ask Him to help you see yourself the way He sees you. 2) Take an honest look at yourself in the mirror without your wig, hat, or scarf. 3) While looking in the mirror, say aloud, “I am beautiful, valuable, loved, and cherished by God.” 4) Read Psalm 139:13-16. It helps to read this aloud because your mind is more apt to believe something it hears. Doing these things won’t guarantee you never to doubt your beauty or worth, but they will help remind you that your beauty comes from who you are as a person and isn’t based on the number of hairs on your head. Walk in the confidence of knowing who you are and whose you are. Remember, you may be bald or have thinning hair, but you are still beautiful!
e v i g r I
o F I Forg Fo iveHow to ive Forg Walk e Out SINGLE, SAVED & FABULOUS
v i g r I o Forgive Forgiveness F I BY: DR. LORNEKA JOSEPH
“...we cannot keep pushing things under the rug until we find time to deal with it.”
I For
give
f you’ve been on earth at least ten years, at some point, you had to forgive someone or ask for forgiveness. Now before we go into this touchy subject, it is important to understand what forgiveness is all about. To forgive is to excuse or pardon an offense. Despite all the messages on forgiveness, for various reasons, there are still thousands of people who struggle with forgiveness.
still single. If you belong to God, then He knows the perfect time. I pray the following steps help you truly forgive.
1.
Pray - Prayer should precede everything you do. Placing your heart in God’s hands will not only bring healing, but it will give you peace as you go through.
e v i g r
Growing up in The Bahamas, I spent a lot of time around family because our home was always opened to extended family members who needed a temporary place to stay. Unfortunately, there was always something going so I felt like my issues were not so pressing to sit down with my mother who became terminally-ill and a little brother who frequented the ER due to asthma attacks.
o F I
2.
e v i org
IF
However, we cannot keep pushing things under the rug until we find time to deal with it. The time to forgive is now and not later. When we walk in unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment and anger, it clouds our vision, hinders purpose and can even prolong the process for God to bring us a spouse. Jesus gave us a model prayer in Matthew 6:12 (NIV) “… And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” A debtor is someone who offended you but Jesus commands us to release the person because He has forgiven us. We must adhere to the Word of God and be at peace with ourselves and others.
I Fo
Confess - Lying & telling yourself that you’re over the pain is not good knowing you can’t sleep and you get angry all over again just seeing the person. You must confront the matter head on!
3.
Create a list - Write down the name of the persons who hurt you (family, friend, ex-boy/girlfriend, boss, child, etc.) and recall what happened, even if it hurts. What God reveals, He will heal.
rgiv e 4.
Undergo healing - In your time alone, begin to pray this prayer. “God help me to forgive_____ (fill in the blank) for what they did to me and heal my broken heart.”
e v i g r o e IF v i g r o IF Before you begin this journey, I want to you forgive the most important person in your life- YOU. Do not condemn yourself about your past; why your ex left you or why you are
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5.
Talk it out – this may the hardest part of forgiveness but this will complete the process and give you freedom again.
It’s time to let IT go and let God!
AUGUST 2013
How to Overcome Sexual Frustrations & Temptations By; Jacqueline Baxter-Hollins
Have you ever had one of those nights where you longed for love and affection? I’m speaking of the kind of night when your flesh is screaming out for sexual fulfillment and your body is literally aching because the desire to be held and caressed is so great. If you are an unmarried single, or single because of spousal separation, spousal abandonment, divorce or death, then more than likely this is your reality. So what do you do as a saved individual when you become sexually frustrated? What do you do when you find yourself desperately desiring and needing sexual fulfillment? According to Relevant Magazine, “Eighty percent of young, unmarried Christians have had sex…Even though, according to a recent Gallup poll, 76 percent of evangelicals believe sex outside of marriage is morally wrong.” Unfortunately, many Christians give in to the seductive call of their flesh, but you don’t have to. You can be empowered to live a life that is free of sexual sins and immorality. You can be empowered to stand during times of sexual frustrations and temptations. When you become sexually frustrated and feel like you just have to have it that’s the time to cry out to God! I understand that when your flesh is screaming out for sexual fulfillment, you may not even want to cry out to God, but if you are going to overcome sexual sins then you must turn to God and depend upon
His strength and power to sustain you. When you desperately want to be held that’s the time to fall into the arms of God and release your frustrations to Him in prayer. You must change your focus. Do not embrace your feelings or those sexual urges by continually meditating on your desire. Do not meditate on your past sexual pleasures. “Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh” (Romans 13:14). Shake yourself from that place and begin to meditate on the word of God. Otherwise, you will succumb to the seductive call of your flesh. When you are pressured to give in to your sexual desires, that’s the time you need to press into God’s presence. Instead of listening to the call of seduction listen to praise and worship music and before you realize it those sexual urges will pass. God has already empowered you to live a saved, satisfied and fulfilled life that is free from sexual sin and immorality. For a more in-depth teaching on overcoming sexual frustrations and temptations you can purchase/download a copy of Heal Us in Our Intimacy at: http://www.amazon.com/HealUs-In-Our-Intimacy/dp/147005034X. Let’s pray: “Father, thank You for giving me the desire and the power to do the things that are pleasing to you. In Jesus Name, Amen.”
Youth Column
Stand out and Shine Bright! Be Fearless! By: Tanya Taylor
Pastor’s Wives Column: “Wealth, the Evil Monster” By: Lady Emilie Robinson
Often times, wealth is seen to be an evil monster in the lives of God’s people and His leaders. The lie of this evil monster is that Christians should not be wealthy because money is considered the root of all evil. Thus, when a leader is seen living a financially successful life, they are assumed to be living a life centered on wealth instead of Christ. Not only this, but the Pastor and Pastor’s wife are often shamefully assumed to be stealing from the people they are leading. Think of the rumors that begin when the Pastor and his wife are seen driving a luxury car such as a Cadillac, Mercedes, Land Rover, or let’s not even talk about a Bentley or a Rolls Royce. These rumors are not limited to the body of believers, but expand beyond the walls of the church. But why should there be a stain placed upon the leaders of this ministry? You should never be afraid to stand out from the crowd. There’s power in being different; being different brings different results to your life. While you’re amongst your peers, you should never seek popularity. Never compromise and do something that is outright wrong to keep friends. When you do wrong, seeking popularity, you will only form a small crowd. But when you’re not afraid to stand out, you form an entire nation. The key to this method is to never gain friendships by gaining the approval of others. Gaining the approval of God is all you need. Dare to be different. Always have a fearless attitude, no matter where you go in life! You are a child of the most high God. You can accomplish and have all the benefits of life’s happiness when you understand the importance of being fearfully and wonderfully made. Be fearless while completing college. Be fearless by never giving up. Be fearless by rejecting drugs in your life. Be fearless by believing in yourself, even when it seems impossible. Be fearless by waiting to have sex until you’re married. Be bold. Stand out and trust everything on the inside of you. Don’t leave any room for excuses, except to be fearless! While shining bright, don’t ever dim your light or put out the fire God has burst on the inside of you for others. Remain positive in any situation. Face your fears, rejection and disadvantage, head on with a beam of light that spreads like wild fire. Your smile should make the earth move. Your walk should move mountains and your joyous attitude should build a new generation of peers,
This negative stigma stems from a lack of understanding. Pastors and their wives who preach financial messages are labeled as prosperity teachers and thieves who only teach these messages in order to expand their own bank accounts. Therefore, we must first understand the truth of what money and wealth is about in order to extinguish the myth of wealth, the evil monster. Money is not the root to all evil but the love of money is. “For the love of money is the root of all evil…” (1Timothy 6:10). Money, simply put, is a tool to assist in navigating and acquiring things, material objects, needed in life. “….Money answers all things.”(Ecclesiastes 10:19). When the priorities of money are handled based on Kingdom principles, we have the right to expect the wealth and enjoy it. Wealth is neither an evil monster nor a sin; in fact, God has provided it to us and has left guidelines to living a righteous, wealthy lifestyle. The guidelines are: 1. Give to God; which supports Kingdom projects, His house, and His servants. 2. Support your personal households, bills, and responsibilities. 3. Save or store up for a shortage or crisis; or for retirement.
unashamed to walk in God’s image. Shine everywhere by sowing seeds that can
4. Be generous and liberal to others.
never die, no matter how dry the branches get. Have a heart of Christ, shining
5. Finally, be obedient to God; always say yes to His will.
on every soul. Matthew 5:16 says, Let your light shine before men so they may see my good work and glorify my father which is in heaven! You were born to shine, long before you were created in your mother’s womb! You are a winner! Never be afraid to stand out, shine bright and be fearless! Be the example! When your peers see you stand out, they’ll begin to stand out! The start of a mission that’s ordered by God is always the hardest. God does this to push you and to press you. But, your peers will thank you for being different and standing out. Not only will you have touched a life--you will have built a nation!
Wealth is determined by two factors; following these five steps and by what you can handle effectively and efficiently. Since there are various wealth levels, you will not be able to go to the next level until you have mastered the level you are currently living on. Once you do so, it will cause your wealth to multiply and you will then have a justifiable right to expect the next level. Wealth is not evil, and it should not be feared. God did not create His people to have not, but to have! AUGUST 2013
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Publisher’s Voice
Tell Us Your Story! Do you have a story or testimony you would like to share in relation to how you overcame and transformed your pain into power? If so, we would love to hear it! Women of Standard is committed to empowering women, and sharing wisdom on how to overcome or cope with everyday issues which may not be often spoken of. Our goal and mission is to empower women, motivate them and help re-position them on their path to purpose! Email your story to us at: info@womenofstandard.org. Please include your contact information along with photos of yourself and you may be chosen as our next feature! STAY CONNECTED: Sign up for our FREE newsletter at: www.womenofstandard.org CONNECT WITH OUR PUBLISHER, CARLA CANNON at www.facebook.com/womenofstandard “Like” us on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/wosmagazine
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Pastor’s WivesCorne Pastor’s WivesCorner 13 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G
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WivesCorner
Pastor’s WivesCorn
Interview by: Carla Cannon
Pastor’s WivesCorner
We introduce one woman’s story of transitioning from a First Lady to a Pastor after the death of her husband. Learn how her path full of great trials transformed into a tremendous blessing for her life! Be encouraged! 13 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G | J U LY 2 0 1 3
ivesCorner
You are currently the Pastor of Victory Temple Ministries Church of God in Christ of Gainesville, FL? Yes! You started the ministry with your husband and then he passed away. How has that process been for you? It has definitely been the Lord. My husband was pastoring when we married so I was Co-Pastor for about 21 years. He passed away suddenly. We were out to dinner and two hours later, I no longer had a husband. We are approaching six years that I have been carrying the ministry without my husband. I thank God for giving me the strength. My husband and I worked closely together and he was a man of such wisdom and I learned a lot from him. As I look back over our years together and in ministry, I always felt like I was in school. Sometimes I would get agitated but after things happened the way they did, I knew he was preparing me. There was so much he wanted to make sure I knew and understood about ministry. One thing he said to me when we were first married and he was pastoring, “LaShon, I will never allow anyone to hurt you but I can’t make the people love you. That is something you will have to do.” Through the years, I have built relationships. I love people! I tell people, “I am nice and I am nice on purpose!” I think that is how God wants us to be. It does not mean that everything that happens in life is nice. It has been an uphill journey without my husband. I would visit the cemetery often. I told the Lord, “This is not the way my life should have been.” The Lord said, “This is not the way your life has ended. His life ended and before there was him, I was and I always will be!” That day I left knowing I was going to walk in God and He would carry me through.
husband. Sometimes God will move our leaning post. Every day of my life since my husband’s passing has been a walk of faith. There have been times when I didn’t know what to but I told God, my life is in His hands. I know He did not leave me. That is what they have to understand, God did not leave you here to suffer! Everything He has promised and spoken over your life, you have to grab hold of it!
Speak to Pastors’ wives who may be frustrated and cannot see the big picture in ministry while serving with her husband right now. I just finished a series about relationships. One part was about marriage. We must go back to the Word of God and understand our purpose. When you submit to your husband, you are adjusting your will to your husband’s will. You understand that you are a woman walking in His purpose for your life. Walking with a man of leadership, you have to be there and encourage him. Be that woman that God has called you to be to help fulfill his purpose in his life. The blessings will flow because of this. Regardless of how anointed you are, submit to leadership of your husband. Don’t compete with him but learn how to work with him!
What are three key things that you have learned from the Lord during this process? First, in marriage I had to understand my purpose as a wife. Secondly, after the death of my husband, I had to understand God and His will for my life. Thirdly, I had to learn how to walk in my purpose! What would be some pearls of wisdom that you could share with a woman who has lost her husband and finding it hard to cope with? You go through that place of wondering why it happened and why didn’t you get a warning. I am working a book, Now God, What? Even in the midst of not expecting and when it does not make sense, you have to trust God. My husband was my best friend. God has a plan for each of our lives and we have to trust the plan of God. Although we make plans, we don’t know the ultimate plan God has for our lives. I would say to a woman of God, stand in the place and trust that God has not made a mistake. Trust that it is God that has left you in that place. The month before my husband died, he told the church he would still be Pastor but I would be the Administrator of the church. It was as if he was putting things in order. I knew God had a place for me in ministry and I was leaning on my 14 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G
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AUGUST 2013
How is life now, six years later? I stay busy and I stay focused! I love to minister, motivate, and empower women! That was my motivation when the Lord gave me Sisters Helping Sisters which was built to reach across denominational and cultural boundaries to women that are lost, hurting and struggling. Some women must know that they have to release in order to overcome! It has always been my desire to push women to understand that God can put the pieces back together. Pastor LaShon Young www.victorytempleministriesflc.org Email: pastorlashon@yahoo.com
Personal Development | Vision Manifestation
Deliverance is NOT At the Altar:
Understanding Your Mind, Will & Emotions
By: Nanette Floyd Patterson MA LPC
I am sure this article’s title made many do a “jaw drop.” As a Christian Counselor I often counsel women who are struggling with various emotional challenges. They often tell me that they have fasted, prayed, had others pray and have gone to church to be delivered from whatever the emotional stronghold is that was holding them back or keeping them stuck. I began asking God questions about the healing and deliverance process of these women because they were exercising their spiritual authority by fasting, praying, renouncing, and rebuking as we are traditionally taught. I was led to 1 Thessalonians 5:23 (NIV) which says “May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” This tells me there are three areas to consider when we need healing and deliverance: spirit, soul and body. I know this is not what most of us are used to hearing but it is definitely truth. Therefore, it would not behoove us to only consider that everything we go through is spiritual because it is not. When we are going through emotional challenges we must cover every area. I often say you must go through a process of elimination. Could it be you are
depressed because your body is missing Vitamin D or the fact that consuming high levels of fatrich foods can actually cause chemical reactions in the brain ultimately leading to depression? Could it be you are riding an emotional roller coaster because your thought patterns need some serious reconditioning? Your thoughts are tied to your emotions which are tied to your behavior. There are times when it is a spiritual issue, yet eight out of ten times it is more from the soul which consists of your mind, will and emotions as well as symptoms which are manifesting due to something going on within your body. You see your soul also consists of your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs. Am I saying that the adversary is not on his job to deceive? Absolutely not! What I am saying is that your deliverance is not always at the altar. My guidance to you is to consider your whole self when it comes to healing and deliverance. Ask yourself whether what you are going through is a spiritual battle, a soulful battle (mind, will, emotions, thoughts, attitudes or beliefs) or is it a body battle. Your plan of action should be based on your answer. Stop blaming the adversary for everything. He just loves it when you give him the glory or credit for your unresolved issues.
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Personal Development
Rebuilding from GROUND ZERO By: Sharon Y. Judie
The term “ground zero” stirs memories of the painful, difficult recovery and rebuilding efforts following the terrorist attacks of 9/11. The definition of ground zero (in relation to disaster) is: “to mark the point of the most severe damage or destruction.” Given the opportunity, many of us could likely tell of our own life experiences of personal disasters, damage, destruction, loss and failure. Some of us know what it’s like to lose absolutely everything that we cherish: our family, peace of mind, selfworth, dignity or self-respect. Sometimes the loss is more tangible, like material things, such as a job, car, financial security or your home. You may have witnessed firsthand the devastation of being on top of the world and then having to start all over again, from nothing...from ground zero.
During the dark times of uncertainty, it’s easy to feel anxious and unsure. It may even be difficult to sense the Lord’s presence or to hear Him speaking gentle words of reassurance to our broken spirits. When you have to start over, don’t allow yourself to give in to feelings of hopelessness and despair, even if nothing seems to be working in your favor at the time. The good news is that with the dawning of each new day, it’s a chance for a fresh start; you get a do-over. After witnessing loss and destruction of his beloved city of Jerusalem, the prophet Jeremiah penned these words of consolation, “This I recall and therefore have I hope and expectation: It is because of the Lord’s mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant is your stability and faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:21-23). Here are some practical steps to rebuilding from ground zero: 1. Recognize that what’s done can’t be undone. 2. Give yourself permission to grieve over the loss or losses, and move on. 3. Don’t be ashamed of your experience. Learn from it. 4. Let the experience make you better, not bitter. 5. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on the course that God has set for you. Don’t give up. Your breakthrough may be on the horizon! 16 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G
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AUGUST 2013
Workplace Dynamics Good Gossip
by: Tee Way
Erma Bombeck once quoted, “Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It’s gossip.” In many offices across the globe, gossip is the national pastime. The art of gossip is hearing something you like about someone you don’t. Gossip can be used to spread good news, but for the most part, it is used to spread negativity about a person, place or thing. Office gossip causes low productivity, low morale and tension. Just as a workplace can be environmentally unhealthy with unclean air quality, mold and dust, gossip produces an unhealthy social atmosphere in the office. While the information disseminated may be true or false, people’s lives are forever changed and like a balloon being released into the sky; it just keeps going with no end in sight. Many publications, websites and social media outlets have become instant millionaires off of gossip. The information may be different, but the results are the same; devastation and destruction for all parties involved. Our workplace can be as dysfunctional as our families, but we make it work. It is in that same school of thought that we can make gossip work for the good. The information can be used to build teams by coming together for a common goal. Instead of using it for office sport and entertainment here are a few ways to use the office grapevine for the good.
1.
Instead of talking about a coworker who is having financial difficulties, use the information to start a “leave bank” or hardship fund. That way no one person is singled out and embarrassed and the entire office benefits from having extra leave and a monetary donation for the office mate who may have a need.
2.
If a coworker has accomplished something in or out of the office, instead of hating on them, use the information to celebrate the accomplishment. Celebration has a way of changing the atmosphere.
3.
Everyone has a challenging day. Instead of gossiping about the person’s challenges, get as many coworkers as possible to sign their name to a card of encouragement. The person feels better and the emphasis is on teamwork and not the negativity of gossip.
These are just a few examples to shift the atmosphere in the workplace from toxic to terrific. Proverbs 26:20 (NIV) says, “Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.” Our words can either continue the fire or stop it. Instead of going with the status quo of gossip, let’s be an agent of change in our words and deeds.
Personal Development
ORGANIZATION VERSUS BALANCE: How to
Purpose BY: Tanya Angelique, MBA
Mediocrity and apathy are the silent killers of dreams. As adults, we often drift away from what we spent many years imagining, allowing the harsh realities of heartbreak, short-term failures and the opinions of others to stake claim on our dreams. We allow such experiences to create a belief, that what we once dreamed of and believed was possible, to simply fall by the wayside. Soon, like weeds in a garden, the life of our dreams is snuffed out, causing our spirit to decay. Do you remember playing pretend? Maybe you dressed up like a dancing ballerina, imitating the teachers and preachers or walking like a model. Perhaps you slipped on your dad’s suit or your mom’s heels, knowing that someday you would be successful. Then, with blow after blow, you lost the ability to feel passionate about dreaming. In fact, you began to suppress the emotions needed to believe in the impossible, thus losing faith in what you couldn’t see. This state of being breeds apathy. Don’t become defensive and say that you are not apathetic. Apathy is simply a state of indifference or numbness to emotions such as motivation or passion. It is as common in people as fear, doubt or complacency, and is completely overcome-able. Allow me to give you basic steps to take in order to shift your thoughts. First, you must be willing to confront your inner thoughts. Get clear about what has brought you to this point and break the cycle.
This requires total honesty and willingness to endure the urge to justify what went wrong, who wasn’t there for you or who hurt you. You must allow the essence of who you are to rise up through the ashes like the Phoenix, refusing to be buried beneath all of the “stuff” any longer. Next, you must find the place within where you escaped to as a child to create what I will call Disney. This is the place where magic happens and the impossible seems possible. Every fear is diminished by an overwhelming sense of hope and excitement. Garnered with an array of strength and possibility, you step to the tip of the ledge and jump. Last, gather the tools needed to sustain utopia in the midst of it all. Everyone who visits Disneyland arms themselves with trinkets to take home. Gazing at the items they have purchased throughout their escapade, they are transported back to the magical moments of the trip. Likewise, you must have paradigm shifters. When feelings of mediocrity or indifference arise, you can focus on those feelings that give you the strength to believe then spring into action. This knowledge may not change your world overnight. But it will impact the days ahead as you address the root causes. As you find the strength to confront your barriers, reach for your inner utopia and shift your thoughts--recreate your life! Once you have mastered this way of thinking, you will live your best life in pursuit of purpose.
FIT It All IN
by: Tonya Dallas
Many of us lead challenging and somewhat demanding lives. We’re often running from a full-time job, to a part-time job, if not a soccer practice, a track meet or a football game. With all of our responsibilities, it can seem impossible to give God quality time. Between Facebook and Twitter, emails and blogging, the average person suffers from a major time deficit. The life of today’s Christian has an equally demanding schedule. Larger worship centers now offer round-the-clock worship opportunities. But even if you attend a small to mid-sized ministry, there’s still Sunday school class, bible study and a host of rehearsals and practices. With all that life throws at us in just one week, many feel hopeless and guilty for not being able to properly balance it all. But the key is simple: organization. Many of us have had an ongoing love affair with being unorganized. But, it’s time to break the cycle with these easy steps.
1.
SCHEDULE DAILY TIMES OF PRAYER, WORSHIP AND BIBLE STUDY. My family prays on a conference call 365 days a year. The family attempts to pray twice a day, both at 6 a.m. and 6 p.m., for 30 minutes. The individual that lead the call in prayer rotates daily. This not only gives God your first fruit of the day, but it sets the tone of your entire day. Schedule your weekly worship events. If you can’t make all services weekly, try scheduling them bi-weekly or monthly. Create an ongoing to-do list. This simple, yet pertinent key to structure is often overlooked or thought of as juvenile. However, this is a vital step to creating a balanced spiritual life.
2.
DRAFT A WEEKLY CALENDAR TO INCLUDE ALL ACTIVITIES, INCLUDING WORK AND CHURCH. Take advantage of Google calendar and other free calendar applications. These will allow you to set up reminders of upcoming events. If you spend a lot of time in your car or away from your desk, use voiceto-text on your smart phone. Speak into your recorder, save it, and go back and insert it on your calendar when convenient.
3.
COLLABORATE. Often, we take on more than our fair share of responsibility. Every big CEO has an assistant, if not more than one. Corporate America realizes the importance of partnership. Whether married or single, today’s Christian needs help. Collaborate with friends and family to get things done. Some people would love to help, but don’t know you need it. Never be afraid to ask for help.
Be consistent and stand firm on the dates and times you have committed to God. Living a balanced, busy life in Christ is possible. God didn’t make a mistake when He only gave us 24 hours in a day—we just need to revamp how we use those hours. AUGUST 2013
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COVER STORY
Valorie BURTON Interview by: Carla Cannon
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AUGUST 2013
Valorie Burton is a bestselling author, speaker, and life coach dedicated to helping people get unstuck and be unstoppable in every area of life. She is the founder of The Coaching and Positive Psychology (CaPP) Institute and has served as a Certified Personal and Executive Coach to hundreds of clients in over 40 states and ten countries. For more than a decade, Valorie’s books, speaking engagements, and coaching resources have helped people: Make major life changes that are exciting and scary at the same time, be happier and have more fun, even when life seems routine, become strong leaders, navigate office politics, and achieve professional dreams, navigate setbacks and disappointments in a way that makes life better, not bitter, speak up with confidence rather than settling for less, go to sleep at night feeling at peace about decisions and conquer emotions that cause procrastination, emotional spending, and self-sabotage.
COVER STORY Women of Standard: Hello Valorie! I am so excited to finally speak to you! How are you?
of my books and it blessed them. What I talk about makes sense and it applies to everyone.
being known around the world?
I use a lot of research in my speaking and
I wrote my first book while running my business.
Valorie Burton: Hello! I am good! Thank you
companies appreciate that. It lines up with
Carla!
Scripture so I am able to speak from that in all areas.
It’s amazing how God works! Years ago I was in Barnes & Noble and I began to read your book, ‘What’s Really Holding You Back?’ and that is when I came into the knowledge of who you were. (shares laughs) Why do you feel it is important that we elevate our thinking not only in business and ministry
until now producing several books and
What were you doing prior to becoming an author?
I wrote at night and on the weekends. I went a couple of months where I was not sleeping, waking up 5-6 times a night, because my soul was very restless. I finally realized I needed to get out of public relations all together. I sold
but in our everyday lives as well?
It is important, period. Women have more opportunities today than we have ever had before. Women are seeking to know why they are here and what their purpose is. It is inevitable when you are moving towards a vision and a goal to have fear. When you have fear, it began with thoughts. Thoughts create emotions and actions. Whether you’re feeling happy and elated or fearful and anxious, you have to go back and ask what I am saying to myself that is producing this thought. Anyone who wants to go to the next level in any area has to be aware of what they are saying to themselves about their possibilities, obstacles, and failures. It is important particularly for women because we experience higher highs and lower lows than men. Emotions kick in with us at a more intense level than they do for men. Working in the secular industry how do you protect your faith and operate in it without compromising?
I don’t think of it as compromising. I think a lot of people separate their faith and work life. Compromise comes in when you don’t live out your faith in your work life. You can live it without always talking about it. I share my successes openly, which works for me. When we approach it that way then those who do not share their faith are more open to hearing it. I am a business woman and I have always been entrepreneurial minded even as a kid. So, it is only natural for me to look at how to apply my faith in business. The doors it has opened for me to speak corporately are not doors I necessarily knocked on. A lot of opportunities have opened for me because someone read one
I was a marketing director for an accounting
my business and made the leap. I felt like I was
firm until 1997 and then I had my own public
supposed to go for it and that’s what I did! It
relations agency. In 2001, I started doing this
was several years before it was sustainable but
full-time.
I managed. I put myself in a position where
How was the transition for you from then
I didn’t have many bills, which gave me the freedom to know I could quit everything and if I had to go work at a temp agency, I could still pay my bills. A lot of times people have dreams but they can’t pursue them because they have so many financial obligations that they are absolutely tied to a job. If you have a dream but you can’t pursue it because of finances, make it a goal to get rid of debt, to save up money, and to minimize expenses so you are able to pursue what God has placed on your heart. I don’t think I would have been able to do that if I had not worked to make sure I wasn’t overobligated to the point where I couldn’t get out of my business. What are some steps you would offer to someone wanting to come off of their job and minimize expenses so they too can
become full time in their business?
began thinking about who was in the audience
when we get them. I think that is the ultimate
Get a clear vision of what it is you are trying
and what are the challenges they are dealing
lesson God is trying to teach us because most
with. I realized I was fulfilling my purpose and
of life is spent waiting. Can we be happy while
God was going to be at work. It is just you and
waiting? I am really excited about this book and
God walking on that path. God can’t fail! As
believe this is my best book yet. There are a lot
long as you are continually aligning yourself
of cultural implications in this book because
with God’s plan, even if it looks like failure at
we are living in a culture where it is set up for
first, it’s not.
us not to be happy.
What are some of the top reasons you see women experiencing stagnation as it relates
When can we expect your new book?
to do and what it looks like. You must aim for something specific if you want something specific. Too often people have vague goals and dreams. How would you know when you have reached it? If you get specific, then you can come up with specific actions. That is basic goal setting theory. If you want to quit your job and just write books, you may not have much of a financial lifestyle. I read a statistic that stated two-thirds of books never sell more than 5,000 copies. You have to be realistic about your goal. It is very wise to look at how to take one step at time to move gradually into what you are doing. The people who have the highest paid jobs have the hardest time stepping out of that job. The more you put into that career that you don’t want, the more difficult it is going to be to leave. You are not going to easily replace that income however, with hard work, dedication and consistency it can be done.
to operating fully in their purpose?
Being stuck is always connected with fear! Get clear about what you’re afraid of and get clear that fear is not a stop sign. What are you afraid is going to happen if you move forward? When you step out of your comfort zone, you are going to feel uncomfortable. Not being
prominent speaker?
Make the decision that this is what you’re doing and stick with it! Perseverance is huge! I am continuing to learn that. For example, this past April I was invited to be a guest on the Today Show which is something I have wanted to do for years. Now, I have been on three times in the last two months and I’ve been invited to come on regularly. I am excited about it and it is a wonderful opportunity! You simply make a decision and if this is what God called you to do, this is what you are going to do. Organize your life to accommodate what God has called you to do. People get the vision and they want to know up front how it is going to work out. That is not how it goes. It really is a different way of living when you step out like that. I have learned to focus on serving. Anytime I have focused on myself, what I want, and what my
She has more power than she realizes! She has
times when God puts a halt to something. If
a choice to make. Is she going to get up or give
you keep pushing up against a door that has
up? No one else can make that choice but you!
reason. Maybe it was for your own protection or maybe it is just not the right time. Then get tuned back in to what you need to be doing at
Happiness is a choice and you can argue that it’s not. There are people in third world countries that have almost nothing and are happy. There are people who have lost all of their physical
that time.
ability but still find something to laugh about.
Whenever you host an event, write a book, or coach others, what is the one thing that you often find yourself reiterating to the audience?
like to give some happy triggers from my book:
Understand and know your purpose! Persevere
This does not have to be something huge.
You have to put your life in perspective. I would
•
When we have something to look forward
are consistent. My book, Happy Women Live Better: 13 Ways to Trigger Your Happiness
to, it makes us happier. •
Every Day, comes out soon. I know that
your total engagement. •
in women. I think too often the church looks
nothing better than for us to be happy and do good while we live, for this is the gift of God. There are going to be lots of circumstances in life that you are not happy about but in the attitude that embraces happiness and joy. The
because I was thinking about how I would
joy of the Lord is your strength. It is important
look on stage. I realized what was making me
to understand that it takes skills to be happy
nervous and I turned it around. I realized I
and as women, we have to learn to be happy
was there to serve the people in the audience. I
while we wait for the things we want as well as
Service: Every day do something to brighten someone else’s day!
down on happiness. God wants us to be happy! It says in His Word in Ecclesiastes that there’s
Play: stop being serious and play! Do something that you enjoy! Play requires
women are twice as likely to be depressed as men, which has been increasing dramatically
Anticipation: make the declaration, “Every day I have something to look forward to.”
and get clear about your fears. These things
anxiety. I would get nervous before I spoke
AUGUST 2013
It is indeed possible! So speak to one woman who may currently feel hopeless, weary, and complacent in where she is. She may not understand her purpose and feels
of your comfort zone is the key. Then, there are
everyday of life, we can go about it with an
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New York Times Best Sellers List!
stuck. What would you say to her?
goals are; that has created issues, stress, and
20 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G
pre-ordered now. It is our goal to make the
confused and perplexed when you are outside
been closed, then it is probably closed for a
What are some vital lessons you have learned on your journey to becoming a National Best-Selling Author and
It will be released on October 1st and can be
Awesome! Thank you for speaking with us today. We are really excited about your new book!
Thank you! It was great speaking with you as well!
Pre-order Valorie’s New book @ www.ValorieBurton.com Twitter: @Valorieburton www.Facebook.com/ValorieBurton
Parenting
Parenting Column: Daddy’s Daughters “Guard Your Treasure!” by: Victor Jones
The greatest treasure anyone could receive is the love of a child. Watching that little person grow into adulthood will be filled with both joy and sorrow. Being a father of five daughters, ages 5, 18, 26, 31, & 33, my joy comes from observing them, which has kept my heart open to growth on many levels. As the world in which we live changes, I observe how their period of learning has also changed. What my five year old has knowledge of today, her sisters were nearly twice her age when they became aware of similar things. I am reminded of a time when my 33 year old daughter attended daycare as a child and another child in her class would constantly pick on her with every available opportunity. Once I became aware of this, we talked about it; yet in her mind there was no comforting to be found. One morning prior to taking her to class she wanted to wear cowboy boots to school. I did not fully understand why, but I agreed to it.
“I Am Who I Say I Am!” by: Irenah Jenkins
This went on for a week until I received a call from the daycare management to pick her up for fighting. Upon my arrival, a discussion with the administrator ensued concerning her behavior. At this time, I discovered she hit a little boy in the nose, breaking it with a wooden block. When I questioned her she told me this boy would not stop bothering her, so she wanted to wear boots to school to beat him up.
This incident proved to be a learning experience for both of us; it provided a better dialogue to discuss alternatives to handling difficult situations in life. Thankfully, this has stuck with each of us to this very day. Never in my wildest imagination would I have believed a child between the ages of 4-5 years old could devise a plan to exact revenge upon someone that was causing her discomfort and do it so strategically. When you really treasure what God has entrusted you with, there is an obligation to do and bring out the best regardless of what it may cost you. The journey we are on is not about us, but for someone else. There can be no greater love than that of a child, a treasure given with a return on life that is priceless. Therefore, when your child’s behavior changes or does something out of the ordinary, take the time to sit down and talk to him or her. What may seem small to you and I, could be enormously difficult for our child. We can say it a million times that we are there for them, but unless we prove or show it to them, it will only fall on deaf ears. And many times, the child will feel he or she have to take matters into their own hands. Guard your treasure; the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy, especially our children.
There are no clear paths or paved roads for us to take on this journey called life; there’s no blueprint to follow. Sometimes the life we had planned for ourselves doesn’t always turn out that way. Growing up, I was never quite sure what I wanted to be, but I always knew I wanted to be a wife and a mother. I dreamed of the home my husband and I would raise our children and hopefully where they would do the same. It would be our place to build traditions and leave a family legacy. It never crossed my mind that it may never happen. I never thought of the negatives or disappointments that would greet me along the way. So when I became a single mother, it was almost as if someone had taken away the very core of everything I believed in. This was not my plan and I had so many unanswered questions. But more than that, I had anger; angry at myself for making the decisions I made and angry at those who hurt me like it was nothing. But it’s very true the famous quote of Siddhartha Buddha, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” And I was burning myself, my values and my future every day that I held onto that “hot coal.”
parent! I had to make a choice and decide that
In today’s society everyone has a place; she’s a doctor, he’s a workaholic or you’re a single
and strong. We no longer define ourselves by
I was not going to be a victim forever. I was going to change my future. I was either going to be or not who and what society said I was. I had to realize being a single parent was only just a part of who I was. What has become one of my life’s motto is a quote I adopted from tennis star Martina Navratilova, “I could do more good by being vocal than by keeping quiet.” No matter our gender, occupation, religious beliefs or socioeconomic status, the voice of our mother was the first voice any of us heard. Women throughout history have used their voices to change the world, address issues and gain rights allotted to both men and women. So who does society think it is to tell us who we are? So today I challenge you to think beyond society’s scope. You’re not limited to one set of ideology; your destiny is far greater than what you may have even imagined. Before you became a parent, you were you and you can still do all that you ever dreamed. Ignite your passion, design your destiny and remember your voice for it’s the most powerful tool you have. It is timeless other’s standards. We are who we say we are! AUGUST 2013
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BEAUTY&FASHION | BROWS
PERFECT EYEBROWS ….
Tools
In Just 5 Minutes (or Less) a Day!
BY: VALLEN CORDON THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT A WOMAN WITH NICELY SHAPED EYEBROWS. Shaped eyebrows can give a more youthful appearance, balance facial features, and visually lift and open up the eyebrows. However, if you’re on a budget, eyebrow shaping can be both costly and painful. Threading, waxing, arching, tweezing can run from $10 to more than $20 a session and is usually done every two to three weeks, and if you have sensitive skin, procedures like waxing and threading can leave your delicate eye area red and irritated. Now there’s absolutely nothing wrong with these procedures, if you have the time and money to spend, and in most cases you are left with beautifully shaped eyebrows. But why pay to have something done, that yocan do yourself? Yes that’s right; you can have perfectly shaped eyebrows and all it will cost you is just five minutes or less each day … and you don’t have to be a make-up artist! All you need is a concealer stick (lighter than your skin tone), an eyebrow brush, eyebrow powder, and tweezers and/or manicure scissors (if you have many stray hairs). Now, your first time you may spend a little more than five minutes, but once you get the hang of it, you will find that you will be able to shape your brows in as little as three minutes.
STEP 1: Brush eyebrows using brow brush in an upward motion to begin to form a natural arch. *You may trim any hairs (using the manicure scissors) that stick out after brushing.
Before:
STEP 2: Trace the outline of the brow using the concealer stick, defining the arch. *Be careful not to go above the brow bone. Arching higher than the brow bone creates that “surprised” look.
STEP 4: Blend in the concealer and cover with foundation that matches your skin tone if concealer is too light. If you are not an eye shadow wearer, leave a little of the concealer under the arch, for a nice highlight. STEP 3: Using an angled brush (included in the eyebrow kit pictured), lightly fill in the brows with the dark brow powder. I use a cream powder but a loose powder will work as well.
After: Perfectly shaped brows!
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JU 3013 A ULY G U 2S0T1 2
BEAUTY&FASHION | DRESS
Stepping Out of the
Box BY: JASMIN FRAZIER
Seven ways to embrace your sexy, yet keep it classy to complete your summer looks:
g color 1. COLOR POP Addin and ng to your wardrobe; mixi for you matching what works
2. AGE APPR OPRIATE Ma ke sure what you wea r lin age bracket to es up with your no confident style t diminish your , but make su re it is properly displa yed for your a udience.
PE BODY TY R U O Y tand 4. KNOW to unders t n a rt o s p It is im nd dresse a , s p to , s what jean r individual body ou work for y mple, pear, apple, xa type, for e , hourglass. tic stick, athle
3. PROPER MA NICURE AND PEDICURE If you are showing off yo ur lovely toes & nails, have them polished and pres entable
Beauty&
FASHION J U LY 2 0 1 3
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W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G 23
Beauty&
FASHION 5. SHOP FOR KEY PIECES IN YOUR DAILY /WEEKLY AT TIRE A pair of hoop earrings or stu ds, strand of pea rls, simple bla ck or blue dress, bla zer, black/nud e pump or flats , collared butt on-up shirt. Spikes a re definitely in !
KNOW YOUR BODY-CONTINUED
Apple shaped body type individuals should wear trendy asymmetrical neckline, like the one-shoulder style. Example: Broader shoulders; for her body type, Oprah Winfrey looks awesome! Pear shaped body type, the strapless dress can do wonders; if that is too much skin to show for you, try the halter neck. Example: Narrower shoulders; BeyoncĂŠ Carter is working this ensemble! Rectangle or banana body type lacks curves on the body. They should avoid wearing body hugging materials and encouraged to wear more flowing materials. Example: Athletic figure, often slim and straight. Cameron Diaz exhibits a very classy look. Hourglass is the most desired figure or body type because any dress our outfit could suit it. Keep in mind the items you wear should be elegant to highlight the best areas of the body in a classy way. Example: Curvy figure; Angelina Jolie is wearing this dress perfectly; not too loose or too tight!
6. LO O clutch K TO AC e shad s, purses CESSOR es, w IZE H , wall at head a e wrap ches, ring ts, scarfs ve s, an glass , s , ban d e Make s to add t personal gles, ity o it fun & enj your ward oyab robe. le!
7. HEAD GAME As females we like to switch our look up, even though there are some who are afraid of change and have been wearing the same hairstyle for 10+ years. So release a charge to your friends today to create change in their normal routine and dare to be different! It’s time to spice things up a bit!
Get ready to be a vivacious fashionista this summer and create your own runway every day!
ARTIST SPOTLIGHT
Exclusive Interview by Vanessia Morgan
Hello! We are so pleased to have you as our first artist spotlight for our new column!
Awesome! How long have you been in the music industry?
Uncle Reece: What? That’s cool. I’m happy about that!
I started singing at the age of 17. God has really blessed; opened some doors, and given me some great opportunities! I wouldn’t even say I am in the music industry yet. I would say doing this professionally at a place and level where the industry could notice what I am doing and want me to be a part of what they are doing; it has been about a year and a half.
So, what was life like growing up in your hometown of Jacksonville, FL? My father was in the military so moving here was a culture shock. Military bases and civilian life are different; bases did not have hoods. At age 12, I saw someone get jumped for the first time. I was thinking he doesn’t have a fair chance because there were too many people but then I was told that was the point. I learned very fast what it
Your music is very powerful and packed with a lot of energy! How would you describe your sound? I would say it is a worship sound that is very free flowing! At our performances with Worship Mode, my band or One Way, which is another band I work with, you never know what is going to happen. You never know if I am going to rap, sing, dance, or preach. It was birthed out of a passionate place of where we wanted to touch God. When we touch Him, supernatural things happen! A lot of the songs at performances are spontaneous; you just never know.
meant to be on the winning team. The crazy part about it is I never thought I would be a part of that stuff. But, when you are somewhere so long you assimilate to the culture. After about two years, I was doing the same stuff and hanging with the wrong people. By age 19, I was deep in foolish things, but at 20, I found God and found out He was truly real! That is when my eyes opened and things began to change. Where did the name Uncle Reece originate? Growing up I would try to be like my granddad. When you are 15-16 years old and your hero is 60 years old, you start to act and talk like him. Everyone said I acted like a “cool uncle.” So my name became Uncle Reece!
In one of your newest songs, you say, “We go hard in the paint!” Share what that mean; for those who may not know. It is a basketball term; the area below the basketball goal is the painted area. Most of the games are won, not just by great offense, but also by rebounds and getting the ball back up when someone misses. It is very important that you play hard in that painted area, which is where it counts. It is the roughest area where most fouls are given but you have to play the hardest in that area.
roll like that! There are a lot of opportunities and marketing strategies we cannot use because Jesus would not use them. If you are really trying to get into this, you better get into Jesus; know who He is and know what you stand for quickly and keep that at the forefront. I have seen miracle after miracle in this industry; giving up opportunities that people dream about and God bringing back better ones with no strings attached. In the industry you might get something, but you’ll find there are a lot of strings attached. But when it is God, He will connect you with the right things. So trust Him! Where can we purchase your music and find out more about you? You can purchase my music on ITunes and any other music downloading sites by typing in “Uncle Reece”. You can also find me at www.unclereece. com and feel free to email my manager, Antareo Johnson at booking@unclereece.com. Thank you so much for agreeing to interview with us! You have a wonderful spirit! You are welcome and I appreciate it! www.unclereece.com Facebook: UncleReece Twitter: Unclereece
Share your wisdom you have obtained from your experience in the music industry. What I have learned about the industry and the business behind the music is to have integrity in it. To get ahead in this business, some say you have to do what you have to no matter it takes. But we can’t AUGUST 2013
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| Love & Relationships
Marriage Under Construction Applying Constructive Arguments in Marriages BY; APOSTLES RONELL & HARRIETTE RODGERS
W
e believe individuality in a marriage is healthy and adds to the marriage’s longevity. If one loses his or her identity due to becoming married, without early intervention, it will develop into a dangerous situation. So it is with the absence of constructive arguments. We employ the term constructive argument not to create the sense of throwing things, or slamming doors, but as constructive communication which builds a bridge for continued passage. Let’s take into account that the Bible does not discredit constructive communication. Ephesians 4:29 states “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace to the hearer.” In other words, couples must realize that words which cause pain
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never resolve a problem but produces bitterness, anger and often, divorce. An argument should never be viewed as the dominate person’s perception being the conclusion of the matter. A couple should ask themselves, would it be less difficult to arrive at a place favorable, or profitable to prevent damage to either party resulting in a continued healthy relationship without the presence of dominance? Ideally, the deciding factor should be based on whose argument is more plausible for the sake of a positive solution rather than male versus female. Disagreements and arguments are almost inevitable in any marriage. However, let’s not forget the reasons we committed to each other in the first place, which is to love and
AUGUST 2013
honor each other until death. Positive arguing tools can be implemented if a couple is willing to compromise. Once negative words are verbalized in the heat of an argument, they cannot be retracted. The objective of the constructive arguing principle is to resolve the argument without destroying each other in the process. Compromising during times of conflict is a key factor; and some other positive arguing tools we have adopted include never arguing in the presence of the children and also allowing a period of time to lapse until the atmosphere has made a positive change. When we scream and yell at each other, the glory of God is not revealed in us and this type of behavior does not solve the problem. Once the atmosphere is conducive, we sit down in a peaceable manner and endeavor to discuss the
origin of the argument. In attempting to solve the problem constructively, each partner needs to focus on what they can do to improve their behavior in the argument. Playing the blame game will not solve the problem at hand. The ultimate goal in resolving arguments is to reach a favorable outcome in order to rekindle the relationship with love and understanding. When disagreements and arguments are not resolved in a timely fashion, resentment and hostility materializes in the relationship. Life is so unpredictable, precious and rewarding and oftentimes we contemplate about what we would do if our spouse died. Therefore, let us discuss our arguments constructively and continue to love one another.
| Health & Fitness
Feature
Did You Know? GOINGGREEN BY: Dr. Lorneka Joseph
There are hundreds of people around the world going green to save the earth? Well, let us first define what it means to go green. After researching a few websites for a simple definition of what it means to go green, I stumbled upon this one. Lifestyles of Health and Sustainability (LOHAS) online defines “going green” as “a phrase referring to individual action that a person can consciously take to curb harmful effects on the environment through consumer habits, behavior, and lifestyle.” Here are some ways you can not only save the earth but also money: GOING GREEN AT HOME • Recommend that everyone take shorter showers and alternate between hot and cold showers as it reduces electricity bills • Eat more fruits and vegetables daily as opposed to eating processed foods at fast-food restaurants. • Use and consume water efficiently. Instead of bottled-water, invest in a water purifier. Turn off the water while brushing teeth and wash with cold water • When leaving the house and prior to going to bed, unplug unused electronic devices • Clean air filters out (prevents lung conditions); cook less-time-consuming meals; advise everyone to sacrifice the television by playing a family game or reading a good book. This stimulates brain cells which increases neural activity of the central nervous system GOING • • • •
GREEN AT WORK Discuss ways to either carpool with a friend, ride a bicycle or take the bus instead of driving if possible Walk the stairs and not elevators as this increases cardiovascular activity for the heart Adjust the lighting on computers at work to protect eyesight Cook at home and avoid the lunch rush at restaurants
GOING • • • •
GREEN AT SCHOOL/CAMPUS Encourage children to drink more water vs. buying soft drinks. Choose healthy foods while you’re away from home Working and in college? Start a work-out team to exercise with in the evenings to get at least an hour of exercise Take advantage of health fairs and get screened. What we don’t know can hurt us!
These are just some suggestions we at Women of Standard magazine feel you should consider improving your lifestyle. Not only do you get to observe changes in your health, but we all get to live longer because everyone is doing their part by “going green.” Share this article with loved ones and let us become better stewards of our bodies and the earth. If you are interested in more information about how to “go green”, check out the following websites: http://www.ourearth.org/ or http://www.epa.gov/ 28 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G
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AUGUST 2013
4WAYS 2 2
Healthy, Wealthy & Wise
Prioritize Your Health Maximize Your Wealth By: Amy Polk
As women we fill many roles in today’s world – business owner, stay-at-home wife and mother, single mother, college student, etc. One thing we all have in common is basic needs and most likely some more than basic wants. With everything we see in the media or even at our next door neighbor’s house, it’s easy for us to get confused about what makes us wealthy. Most of us spend each day pursuing some of these needs and wants, whether it is a long-term dream, some material possession or a paycheck to make the light bill at the end of the month. Just as we pursue these things, we need to pursue good health. After all, what good are these things if we do not have the energy, stamina, or desire to enjoy them? Here are my recommendations for making your health your greatest wealth. 1.
Prioritize your health – Make your health a priority above all else. Develop a healthy lifestyle and schedule around it rather than trying to fit it in at the end of a busy day.
2.
Schedule your workouts – Mark out at least 30 minutes a day, 3 days a week to do some form of moderate exercise. If this means getting up 30 minutes earlier each day, do so.
3.
Prepare your meals in advance – Being prepared is the key to success in all things, including a healthy lifestyle. Take time to prepare your menus and meals ahead of time. This is especially important for busy people. Our tendency to grab something on the go has led to 69% of Americans over 20 being overweight or obese. If you don’t have time to do this, hire someone to do it for you. It is that important to your success.
4.
Get an adequate amount of sleep each night – We’ve all heard the old saying, “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” More and more studies show that the average adult needs 7 hours of sleep each night. Anything less leads to added stress, weight gain and other related health issues.
I often remind my clients about a very important life lesson taught on commercial airplanes – “secure your own mask first.” If you’ve ever traveled on a commercial airline, you‘ve heard the attendant say something like this, “In the event of decompression, an oxygen mask will drop down in front of you. If you are traveling with children or seated next to someone who needs assistance, secure your own mask before assisting others.” Just like we are useless to others if we cannot breathe, we cannot adequately pursue our needs and wants when we are not taking proper care of ourselves. I challenge you this month to put these principles into practice. I guarantee you will find that you are more productive and energized as a result. AUGUST 2013
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W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G 29
| Health & Fitness
TOP 10 WAYS to Improve Energy & Performance
6 1 2 7 3 8 4 9 5 10 By: Dr. Lorneka Joseph
Exercise - Commit to exercising and stick to it in spite of obstacles.
Shop with purpose - When grocery shopping, create a list and make it a habit to read food labels for healthy ingredients.
Eat more fruits and vegetables. There are lots of vitamin B (source of energy) in foods like spinach, greens, peanuts, brown rice and salmon.
Vitamins - if you are not able to eat foods filled with nutrients, then opt for vitamins.
Cook more and eat out less. This will save you money and build your energy level.
Unless you’re fasting, starving isn’t good for your metabolism. This can cause you to over indulge when you do eat so choose healthy snacks.
Drink at least 6 to 8 glasses of water daily and less soft drinks.
Sleep at least 6-8 hours every night. The body rebuilds & rejuvenates itself during sleep.
Learn how to say NO to unwanted stress and don’t over book your schedule.
Commit to taking care of you! Never be to busy to pencil yourself in!
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Medical exams- Get regular physical checkups to rule out any conditions or diseases.
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FEATURE
Pastor Hart
RAMSEY ABOUT HART RAMSEY
Interview by: Carla Cannon
Pastor Hart Ramsey, Sr. is the Founder and Senior Pastor of Northview Christian Church and Northview Christian Church Safe Harbor located in Dothan and Montgomery, Alabama. With an approach of explaining God’s word that is best described as practical and relevant, he is fulfilling his assignment to “take the difficult things and make them simple.” Pastor Ramsey is a straight-forward, passionate, and caring man with a vision to please God. He is also an accomplished musician, published song writer, certified recording engineer, and author. The single “God’s Up To Something Good” is from Pastor Ramsey and the NCC Family Choir’s debut album, Next Now. The single was in the top 10 on the Gospel Charts. How important are affirmations in our lives? I was not raised in church and the concept speaking your words to make a difference was new to me. I was really moved by Hebrews 11:3 and I believe we can prophesy our future by what we say! I use the concept of a thermostat with a thermometer. One tells you what it is and the other is what you want it to be. We have confessions of faith on Sunday mornings! If you implement it in faith and trust God, it does work! Tell us about your new book! I believe in seasons! My first book is a relationship uplift book. It will be a series. The first will be a daily devotional and the second will be a one year devotional where you will get a scripture and quote for that day. The Relationship Uplift book will be out within the next 60 days. By the end of the years, the devotional/journal will be out. I have a book that I’ve written called, For Women Only: The Mystery of the 32 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G
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Marriage Test. Every single woman that wants to be married should read this book. It will be released early 2014. Being from the Caribbean, why did you choose to build a church in Alabama? While in the military in Germany, I chose different places to go but it would come back as Alabama. So finally, we came to Alabama. We received a prophesy that we were going to Huntsville, AL and within a week we were gone to Huntsville. It was a very small area. The Lord said I need someone everywhere. God began to move and now we have over 6,000 members. I tell people, I am a missionary to Alabama. As a man, what challenges did you face along your journey that helped shape you into who you are? I give honor to my parents. One of the first things I had to overcome was that my father always told me I would never amount to anything.
MEN OF STANDARD He was trying to use reverse psychology. It worked opposite. I believed I couldn’t because I looked up to him. I had to first overcome the mentality that God didn’t have anything for me. Secondly, when you are not affirmed by a mentor or father figure you can fall prey to the flattery of a female tongue. I had to put in perspective what was more important: ministry, integrity, family or being liked by the ladies. A man has to deal with that. Last, when a man comes into a position of authority where they will be honored, they have to decide what type of person they will be. I chose to be the approachable man, the father figure, and the person that loves my children and my wife. I would encourage any man to first lead you! You cannot lead anyone if you cannot lead you. What advice would you give to young pastors who may be in an unknown land and are struggling? Trust God where you are and believe God sent you there to make a difference! Don’t take leaps of faith, take steps of faith! Make a plan and get systematic steps and walk the steps. If you make a promise, keep the promise. If you can’t keep the promise, tell them that you can’t do it. Credibility is important! Before you can be incredible, you first have to be credible! Balance the ministry of church and family! Don’t lose your family trying to build a ministry. People don’t realize for a married pastor, his marriage is the foundation of the ministry. If you neglect your marriage to build a big ministry, you will have an unstable building. Building a big ministry on a small, weak marriage, they both will be destroyed. Keep the flow of communication open with your wife. Keep scheduled times where nothing breaks that time! My Bishop told me not to run every time the ministry calls. Your wife will feel alone. Communication keeps our hearts synchronized! When you are home, be you not the pastor!
Changing the Gam e “Five Game Changing Plays: How to Respond and Win!” By: Martin Bryant
1. WHEN LIFE THROWS YOU A CURVE...It is not necessary for you to swing at the first pitch. It takes four bad pitches to get you to first base. When the unexpected happens, sit back and take note of the situation. Just a bit of patience could be “ball one”. Your “ball two” is defining the problem. Your “ball three and
What are some things that keep you grounded? The fact that I am doing these things is what keeps me grounded! My childhood was terrible and I didn’t graduate! I learned English without going to a class. The fact that I have the opportunity to do certain things is what keeps me grounded! I don’t deserve any of these things. It is all a gift from God.
four” can be identified as prayer and faith. Just know you don’t always have to hit
What are some key factors that are missing from our churches today? We have not taught the people of God the power of the finished work of Jesus Christ. When I talk about Jesus, the response is minimal. When I encourage people, it is a big response. We turned the church manward and call them men of God. I defined a pedestal as an elevated prison. Translucency gives them a view of what is on the inside but transparency gives everything and some are not ready for everything.
all it is better to give than to receive.
Tell us about your CD. In 2008, I produced my first jazz CD called, Charge It to My Heart. That gave me my first Billboard Hit Single. My second CD was entitled, My Next Heartbeat. I did a live recording with my choir and we released it to radio. It was a big song for us!
4. WHEN YOU STILL HAVE EFFECTS OF A BAD BREAKUP OR
Take a moment to encourage a young man of faith. God sent everyone to the earth for a reason. God has purpose! Things may look bad today but they won’t always be bad! Be who you are! Don’t pretend to be someone else! Be honest with God, with yourself, and with people! Thank you so much for speaking with us! God bless you and thank you for having me! Connect with Pastor Ramsey @ www.nccfamily.org
a home run to win. 2. WHEN THE LOVE SEEMS TO BE GONE…You are the man in the relationship; therefore, lead. If it seems the love is gone, it’s your job to bring the spice back. You bring the spice and she cooks the meal. It is up to you to make sure the love isn’t bland. Drop the pride and ego, and be the ultimate giver in love. After 3. WHEN YOUR JOB ISN’T A PROFESSION…? You may not have a six figure salary or credit cards belonging to the company. However in this tough economy you must remain employed. A title, corner office and a parking space may not be perks at your place of employment, but you are still earning a paycheck to support yourself and your family. Change your mindset. You may work eight hours a day for someone else, but remember you are CEO, owner and president at home. UPBRINGING…Two words…don’t date. Men have feelings too but in today’s
society, you are not allowed to show them. If you are carrying baggage from the past, make sure you unpack before you decide to play the field or search for love. Two hurt people cannot help one another. 5. WHEN THE MONEY ISN’T ENOUGH…First of all, money isn’t everything. Contrary to what we have heard, women actually want stability over mere money. If you make a little and can maintain a little, that is more beneficial than the man who makes a lot but has nothing to show for it. If you have a family to support remember the old adage; “a little goes a long way.” If you incorporate these plays into your life’s playbook, you will no longer have to fake it to make it, but faith it to make it. I am sorry my brother; styling and profiling doesn’t work anymore. There is too much at stake. As a man, it’s no longer the world you have to please, but God. You must operate in faith and belief that God is able. It takes a bigger man to admit he doesn’t have it all or can do it all by himself. People respect faith, not us being phony. AUGUST 2013
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MEN OF STANDARD
Finding Your Next Level Know that you are most likely to do whatever you commit and put your mind to! By: Dee Brown At the end of every senior year of high school, a selected number of ‘Senior Superlatives’ are chosen for the American tradition of “Most Likely To… !” The usual categories are “Most Likely to Marry; Most Likely to Become President, and Most Likely to Succeed!” These superlatives are handed out to students based off their actions and decisions throughout the four years of high school. I was chosen for “Best Personality” my senior year and a few of my friends were chosen for other various superlatives. However, when I think back we were all together for only four years and those decisions were made in a short period of time. But in reality, those decisions were only predictions of what we could become. Truth is in the real world it’s not just the ‘chosen few’ who are given the “Most Likely To ___” prediction. In the real world, we are all “Most Likely To” become something. Now here is where high school and the real world are equal. In the same way our actions and decisions led us to be chosen for “Most Likely To” predictions, our actions and decisions in the real world lead us to our own “Most Likely To” reality. There are only three realities in the real world: MOST LIKELY TO FAIL: Regardless if we’re in high school, college, the military, or in our everyday life, the actions and decisions we make equates to what we’re most likely to become. 34 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G
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When our actions lead us to ignore correction, to disrespect authority, or to neglect laws and rules, we are following a path that will lead to this reality. When we make decisions not to learn, resist change, ignore future planning, we are “Most Likely to Fail!” MOST LIKELY TO FOLLOW: My mother once told me that there are three types of people; those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who always ask, “What happened?” Now those of us who always ask, “What happened?” will fall into the reality of “Most Likely to Fail!” However, those of us who never take action to show initiative, spending our life watching things happen, merely going with the flow, and allowing others to influence our important decisions are those of us who are “Most Likely to Follow!” MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED: Just as in high school, these chosen few are easy to recognize. Undoubtedly, these are the people who make things happen! In our world, our actions are our own; they are carefully planned out and made with confidence. The life we choose is a goal-oriented life, and when we struggle, we quickly return to the path of attaining our goals. You will not easily find us in common hangouts, and because our decisions lead us to work and sacrifice, to follow through, and pursue our goals to completion, we are “Most Likely to Succeed!” So ask yourself… “What am I Most Likely To ___?”
MEN OF STANDARD
The Gentleman's Corner
“Valley of the Giants” by: Baron Samuel
The season is yet again upon us where a new class of conquerors is dispatched into the ever-changing arena of life. The diplomas have been awarded and the tassels turned signifying the stamp of approval for you to exercise your teachings, experiences and knowledge in an effort to do even greater works and advance further than the previous class before you. It wasn’t too long ago that this moment was but a mere dream, a thought that quickly diminished into another thought, more proving to ponder on. As time went on, test after test, year after year, growth after growth the reality that this day would come began to take up residence in your mind. Now standing on the mountaintop of achievement,
looking back at all you’ve had to endure and overcome, you set your sights among the valley ahead. A valley filled with seemingly more giants than the ones you’ve previously conquered. As you look to the north, south, east and west, you begin to wonder if the haters and naysayers have any validity to their belief that you aren’t able to duplicate what you’ve already accomplished. If you have what it takes or are equipped to go toe to toe with what this valley has for you. David was faced with this very predicament in 1 Samuel 17:33. Saul as well as others had concluded that David was unable to go against the Philistine due to him being a young boy and
his lack of experience at that time. But David quickly defended himself to Saul bringing to his remembrance that it was he who went out after the bear, killed it and delivered the lamb from its mouth to return it to its flock. He also reminded Saul of whose he was by reiterating the fact that it was the Lord who delivered him from the paws of the lion and the paws of the bear and that it would be Him who would deliver him from the hand of the Philistine.
package for who you are.
I often tell people no matter your situation or circumstance, never forget who you are and whose you are. Sometimes you have to remind others of your name much like David had to. Your name is the
So as you look out among
When
someone
asks,
“What is your name?” You respond with your package, “My name is John.” It is not until that person opens the package by saying, “So, tell me about yourself” that they begin to understand who you really are: “I am an overcomer; I can do all things; and sometimes I am the one others look to when a way has to be made out of no way.”
the new valley of giants, let them know that you have a little something for them. Convey to them that the tassel was worth the hassle, but the best is yet to come!
AUGUST 2013
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W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G 35