Frontiers Vol. 34, Issue 24 by Frontiers

MAR. 17 - 30, 2016 | VOL. 34, NO. 24

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LGBT LOVE LOST UNDERSTANDING THE CAITLYN JENNER BACKLASH (P. 9)

HOW BIOPHILIA CAN KEEP YOU HORNY & HEALTHY

reasons to hit up

(P. 22)

THE

TRAVEL ISSUE

Do Miami Like a Local • Spend the Day in Rome • Gran Canaria: 5 Day Trips in Paradise • 48 Hours in Brighton • The Ultimate Spain Road Trip • What’s New in San Francisco • A Weekend in Costa Rica • Four Travel Apps to Buy Before You Go

5 NEW TRACKS WE’RE LIVING FOR OVERCOME YOUR URINAL DRAMA DESTINATION: INTERIOR DESIGN DAN SAVAGE’S AMATEUR PORN FEST

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Contents

MARCH 17 - 30, 2016

FEATURES

Travel By Numbers

HAWAII: HAWAII TOURISM AUTHORITY (HTA) / TOR JOHNSON

Destination: Design

52 Your Hawaii Island Guide

ON THE COVER Miro Moreira photographed by Leo Castro at La Suite by Dussol, bydussol.com, in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Wardrobe provided by CA-RIO-CA Sunga Co., 8250 Santa Monica Blvd., WeHo, cariocawear.com MARCH 30, 2016

Contents

MARCH 17 - 30, 2016

DEPARTMENTS NEWSBOX 09 10 12

Has Caitlyn Jenner Lost All LGBT Love? Watercooler Federal Judge: No Constitutional Right to BDSM DateBook

THE GAY AGENDA 15

16 16

New Tom of Finland Plates by Pansy Ass Ceramics Robot Take the Wheel Gays We Love

09 27

HEALTH 19 20 20 22 22

Pee Shy? Here’s Why How to Stay in Trip-Top Shape Fitness Q&A How Biophilia Keeps You Healthy Your New Favorite Gym Mix

15 35

CALENDAR 27 28 30 33 33

Dan Savage’s Hump! Film Festival Gay Geeks Unite at WonderCon Casa Valentina Takes the Stage Get Spun in DTLA Eating Out: Farmboy Kitchen

ENTERTAINMENT 35 36 37 38 39

The Real Housewives of Toluca Lake Theater Reviews The Q&A: Michael Carbonaro 5 New Tracks We’re Living For Set Your DVR

19 60

COLUMNS 58 59 60

Frontiers magazine is published by New Frontiers Media Holdings, LLC, 5657 Wilshire Blvd., Ste. 470, Los Angeles, CA. 90036, and distributed throughout Southern California. Up to the first three copies of any single issue are free; additional copies are $10 each. Violators caught stealing or destroying issues will be prosecuted under California Penal Code 484. For magazine subscriptions, please call (323) 930- 3220. The contents of Frontiers may not be reproduced in any manner, either in whole or in part, without permission from the publisher. All rights reserved. Letters to the editor, artwork, photography, manuscripts and other correspondence may be submitted to Frontiers at the above address. We cannot acknowledge or return material unless accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed envelope. Allow at least three months for processing. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising in Frontiers is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation or the HIV/AIDS status of such person or organization. Copyright © 2015, New Frontiers Media Holdings, LLC.

Billy Masters Gossip Gay Palm Springs

PEOPLE INDEX Björk Ivy Bottini Truman Capote Johnny Depp 4

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22 12 37 28

Faye Dunaway 58,61 Cole Escola 32 Derrick Gordon 10 Sina Grace 28

Ladyhawke 38 Huey Lewis 35 André Leon Talley 43 Justin Trudeau 9

MARCH 30, 2016

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Following an endorsement deal with MAC Cosmetics, Caitlyn Jenner secured another with Swedish label H&M

LGBT Love Lost Less than a year since coming out as a trans woman, Caitlyn Jenner has been met with derision by her own community following out-of-touch political comments By Dominic Preston

745K The number of viewers who watched the I Am Cait season two premiere, a series low. Viewers were down more than 500,000 from last year’s season finale, and down more than 2 million from the first season’s premiere

SPEAK OUT

t’s easy to forget that it was less than a year ago we welcomed Caitlyn Jenner into the LGBT community, celebrating her June 2015 Vanity Fair cover story, praising her bravery for ‘coming out’ and hoping she’d help usher in a new era of transgender acceptance. Now, just nine months later, her name is more likely met with derision than admiration from many LGBT people and allies. Those who supported the star when she initially came out have turned on her as they realized that her new life hasn’t brought with it a new political identity, and that despite what seemed to be well-intentioned efforts, she remains hopelessly out of touch with the concerns of the rest of the LGBT community. Jenner never shied away from her Republican politics, even as they made her the target of protests, but the current election cycle has revealed just how out-of-step she is with the majority of LGBT voters. First, Jenner admitted she is a fan of Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, and hoped that she could be his “trans ambassador” in the White House—though she did at least admit that he was “probably one of the worst ones when it comes to trans issues.” The second season premiere of I Am Cait on E! continued the trend, as Jenner turned on Hillary Clinton, who the TV star said “couldn’t care less about women.” Things only got worse in the show’s March 13 episode, as she called Clinton “a fucking liar” and a “political hack.” Who did she like more at the time? Well, none other than Donald Trump. “I think he’d be very good for women’s issues,” Jenner said a bus full of fellow trans women. “I don’t think he’s out there to destroy women or do any of that kinda stuff.” While Jenner certainly has the right to whatever political views she wants, it’s easy to see how they might alienate her from her LGBT brethren. Still, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, right? Well, not according to I Am Cait’s ratings. The second

season premiere returned to a series low of 745,000 viewers, down by more than 500,000 from last year’s season finale, and more than 2 million viewers below the series’ July 26, 2015, premiere. Those numbers have already created speculation that this second season will be the show’s last, and its ratings are sure to be under serious scrutiny going forward. The problems go beyond I Am Cait’s ratings, too. Frontiers previously reported that Jenner is set to be the new face of H&M Sports, and there were immediate calls for a boycott of the Swedish ‘fast fashon’ brand. As the world’s most prominent trans figure, Jenner no doubt seems a quick way for major brands to establish LGBT support, but that won’t stay the case if the former Olympian continues to drain her LGBT support, causing her endorsement to look toxic. Last year, Jenner was quick to own up to her gaffes, admitting she was still learning about trans life and the LGBT community. That excuse has worn thin for many, though, as it looks like her political beliefs are here to stay. Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality, argues we might just have to get used to it. “Trans people need to buckle up,” she says. “With all the folks who will be coming out in the next few years, you’re not going to agree with all of them.”

“Know that your friends outnumber the haters by the millions, and I am one of those friends.” Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, in a card offering support to 20-year-old Degas Sikorski, who had received a homophobic Valentine’s Day card from a co-worker. He was gifted messages of support from several MPs and Canadian cabinet ministers and a Valentine’s Day card by Trudeau.

MARCH 30, 2016

WATERCOOLER

Your cheat sheet for intelligent conversation — By Peter DelVecchio

The former first lady’s March 6 death at 94 has prompted a textured public response. The dominant view seems to be that she should be lauded for her intense loyalty to her spouse, pushing for détente with the USSR and her perceived elegance. LGBTs, though, will never forgive the Reagans’ having ignored the early AIDS epidemic, with President Reagan not publicly speaking the word “AIDS” until 1987. A telegram from Rock Hudson, who lay dying in a Paris hospital bed, asking for Nancy Reagan’s help in getting a transfer to a hospital across town for AIDS treatment, which Reagan ignored, has been burning up social media. Nancy eventually evolved to the point of supporting marriage equality, according to her daughter Patti Davis in a 2013 interview with Michelangelo Signorile. But the Reagans are likely to remain permanent fixtures in the gallery of LGBT bêtes noires.

Marriage Equality Status in Puerto Rico Uncertain

Given Puerto Rico’s status as a U.S. territory, it might be assumed the Supreme Court’s 2015 marriage equality decision, Obergefell, applied there. Not so, according to U.S. District Judge Juan Perez-Gimenez, sitting in Puerto Rico, who upheld the territory’s marriage ban March 8 because, he wrote, the 14th Amendment, the basis for Obergefell, might not automatically apply to a territory as it does to states. The next day, Puerto Rico Gov. Alejandro Garcia Padilla issued a statement essentially saying, ‘pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.’ “The fundamental right to marriage has been ordered by the U.S. Supreme Court and the Court of Appeals for the 1st Circuit in Boston. ... I’m going to respect the rulings of the higher courts.”

Derrick Gordon, First Openly Gay March Madness Player

Seton Hall’s Derrick Gordon is about to make history as the first openly gay player to compete in the NCAA Men’s Division I basketball tournament. It’s actually Gordon’s third trip to March Madness, having previously competed for Western Kentucky and Massachusetts, making him the first player to reach the tournament with three programs. This will be his first attempt at the title since coming out two years ago, though. “It’s great,” Gordon said to NorthJersey.com. “I made history, and I want to keep making history. I want to be able to lead this team to a Final Four run.” Gordon isn’t a starter, but he is a mainstay, and with five years of college basketball experience, has become one of the team’s de facto leaders. Gordon remains the only out men’s college basketball player in the United States. —Dominic Preston

Complex Response to Nancy Reagan’s Death

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Nancy Reagan

2 3

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled March 7 that Alabama must respect a 2007 ruling permitting an Alabama lesbian to adopt her long-term partner’s three birth children. After 16 years together, the women broke up, and the birth mother sought to deny her ex visitation rights. The Alabama Supreme Court ruled a Georgia adoption order was invalid because Georgia law didn’t permit a “non-spouse to adopt a child without first terminating the parental rights of the current parents.” The U.S. Supreme Court said Alabama must grant the Georgia adoption order “full faith and credit.” “Any attempt to deny legal rights to our families is reprehensible, and this ruling establishes that bias and discrimination cannot be allowed to undermine the bond between LGBT parents and their children,” HRC’s Sarah Warbelow says.

Derrick Gordon

4 5 6

Second Wachowski Comes Out as Trans

Filmmaker Lilly Wachowski joins sister Lana Wachowksi in coming out as transgender. Fformerly known as Andy, she says her hand was forced by the UK’s The Daily Mail intending to out her the week of March 7. “I knew at some point I would have to come out publicly,” Wachowski wrote in a statement published by The Windy City Times. “You know, when you’re living as an out transgender person, it’s kind of difficult to hide. I just wanted— needed—some time to get my head right, to feel comfortable. But apparently I don’t get to decide this. ... So yeah, I’m transgender. And yeah, I’ve transitioned.” Lilly’s sister Lana received The Human Rights Campaign Visibility Award in 2012. The sisters directed Jupiter Ascending and co-created Sense8, a Netflix LGBT sci-fi series, in addition to creating and directing the three Matrix films.

Lilly Wachowski

High Court Overturns Alabama Adoption Ruling

Project Angel Food to Serve 10 Millionth Meal

Project Angel Food, a nonprofit that, for 26 years, has been “delivering nutritious meals free of charge to people living with HIV/AIDS, cancer, heart disease, kidney failure and lung disease,” will serve its 10 millionth meal on March 18. The L.A. City Council will proclaim the day “Project Angel Food Day,” and Councilman Mitch O’Farrell, a former volunteer for the group, will help prepare “the landmark meal.” “Global wings artist Colette Miller, responsible for the angel murals throughout the city, will also unveil her latest set of wings on the side of Project Angel Food’s building,” a release says.

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SPEAK

OUT

federal judge in Virginia has ruled there is no constitutional right to engage in BDSM sex, as whipping and choking aren’t “deeply rooted in the nation’s history.” Addressing a case involving a college student alleging unfair dismissal from George Mason University over a BDSM relationship, Judge T.S. Ellis disregarded rulings including 2003’s Supreme Court verdict in Lawrence v. Texas, which held that states could not criminalize consensual intimate activity between adults. The plaintiff, listed as John Doe, was expelled for allegedly stalking his ex-girlfriend. The pair regularly engaged in BDSM sex, but she claims that at one point he sexually assaulted her. He insists that she failed to use their safe word, and when asked if she wanted to continue said, “I don’t know.” He took that as consent. The two eventually broke up, but he continued to text and email her, eventually leading her to file charges with the university. She brought up the assault allegation, and he was expelled but has now sued for readmission, arguing the school “disregarded the BDSM context of the relationship and how it affected matters like consent and related issues.” While the judge recognized the plaintiff’s due process complaints (though denied his request for readmission), he took time to dispute the argument that the university had violated his right to sexual liberty under Lawrence v. Texas. “There is no basis to conclude that tying up a willing submissive sex partner and subjecting him or her to whipping, choking or other forms of domination is deeply rooted in the nation’s history and traditions or implicit in the concept of ordered liberty,” Ellis wrote in his opinion. “Sexual activity that involves binding and gagging or the use of physical force such as spanking or choking poses certain inherent risks to personal safety not present in more traditional types of sexual activity,” Ellis continued. “Thus … a legislative restriction on BDSM activity is justifiable by reference to the state’s interest in the protection of vulnerable persons, i.e. sexual partners placed in situations with an elevated risk of physical harm.” —D.P.

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“If you go to any gay bar or club, you’ll see many people are using Grindr. I think our users are still socializing in bars and clubs very well. And even if you’re in these places and too shy to come up to someone, at the bar you can still use Grindr.” The app’s founder, Joel Simkhai, tells Time Out Hong Kong he doesn’t think the app is responsible for killing the gay bar scene

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Federal Judge: No Constitutional Right to BDSM

DATEBOOK THU. | MARCH 17

CELEBRATING IVY BOTTINI

In honor of Women’s History Month, Hollywood NOW, in conjunction with the City of West Hollywood’s Women’s Advisory Board, celebrates the unsinkable feminist spirit of Ivy Bottini by honoring her with its 2016 Women’s History Award at the WeHo Library’s Community Meeting Room.

FRI. | MARCH 18

LGBT BAR ASSOCIATION 37TH ANNUAL GALA

The organization celebrates making history while recognizing outstanding honorees in front of L.A.’s law firms, corporations, foundations and organizations. This year’s honorees at the Natural History Museum include Dean Hansell, Partner at Hogan Lovells, and the One Archives Foundation. lgbtbarla.org/2016gala

SAT. | MARCH 19

HRC L.A. GALA DINNER

The Human Rights Campaign will honor the hit TV series Empire for helping change hearts and minds on LGBT equality, as well as Nina Jacobson, producer of The Hunger Games, who will receive the organization’s Visibility Award, all at DTLA’s JW Marriott L.A. Live. hrcladinner.com

WED. | MARCH 23

WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP AWARDS

WeHo’s Women’s Advisory Board and the Chamber of Commerce present the 21st annual awards at the Phyllis Morris Showroom, honoring the achievements of local women in the professional and commercial/industrial business community.

WED. | MARCH 23

WESTWEEK 2016

For two days, the Pacific Design Center celebrates today’s creative emergents who are innovating new concepts and bold statements that reference design’s early influencers yet push creativity ever-forward. There will be nearly 100 presentations, keynotes, events and product intros. pacificdesigncenter.com

MARCH 30, 2016

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THE

GAY AGENDA

Dirty Dishes

he range of Tom of Finland merchandise continues to expand as Pansy Ass Ceramics announces a limited-edition range of hand-painted plates bearing the artist’s work. There are three designs currently available, each hand-painted onto a vintage plate and made to order. They’re not cheap, at $250 each, but these aren’t meant to plate your next microwavable meal—and a portion of proceeds go back to the Tom of Finland Foundation. “Like many queer artists of our generation, we’ve been heavily influenced by Tom of Finland’s work,” say the plates’ creators. “Smirks, winks and mischievous grins make his work playful yet equally kinky and fetishistic.” Check out our favorite designs at FrontiersMedia.com. —Dominic Preston MARCH 30, 2015

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THE THE

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Car and ... Driver? Nissan will soon start rolling out vehicles that take the wheel for you

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From top: Alvaro (left) and David; Alvaro Casa’s Turquoise Jungle pillow; the otherworldly wares of Slick It Up

David Mason & Alvaro Masa The guys behind fetish gear company Slick it Up and home design label Alvaro Casa talk their in-demand brands and what makes their relationship work

“

We’ve lived in Hells Kitchen for six years, but we’ve been in New York City for 17 years,” says David, the man behind the sexy spandex madness of Slick It Up, a company specializing in turning men into superheroes. After attending CalArts for accessory design and then F.I.T., he started making fetish gear and sold it on eBay. “The demand grew, so I made the website and it just kept growing!” he says. David’s husband is Alvaro, who recently became an entrepreneur himself when he opened the home design film Alvaro Casa. “I was making prints for Slick It Up,” he says, “and we just realized I should also be turning these prints into home décor, because people really love them.” On how they met, David says, “Alvaro actually saw my unicorn pics online [look ‘em up] and went as me to Burning Man. We didn’t know each other at all, and then a couple years later we met on Scruff! We had polite conversation, as I thought he seemed like date material.” “That same day we ran into each other at a club, and that was it,” says Alvaro. The couple got married just last August. “The wedding was super real and super simple,” David says. “We went to my hometown of Glens Falls, because it’s prettier than NYC and it’s just easier to walk into a city hall where people know your family so nothing is an issue. We got married by the town judge on our front lawn in jeans. I didn’t want any ‘show’ for my wedding. I wanted it all to be real.” What’s it like to have two entrepreneurs living in the same house? “Well, we actually have all the apartments on one floor, so we have our own spaces technically, but we’re next to each other 90% of the time,” says David. “We do a ‘personal day’ once a week or so where we don’t see each other, which I think is important.” Asked if they’ve ever thought about making the move out to Los Angeles, Alvaro says, “All the time! We love L.A. The quality of life is so much better, and you have so much space! It’s also great for creativity.” As for the key to the guys’ successful relationship, David says it’s “not being afraid to talk about stuff that scares you. Also, Alvaro is kind of amazing, and I’d be a fool not to be in love with him. I’ve honestly never met a more loving, considerate person.”

TOP: MARCO OVANDO; PILLOW: ALVARO MASA; SLICK IT UP: TIM PALEN

Hate driving? A sense of dread at getting behind the wheel within a 20-mile radius of Los Angeles is practically a rite of passage (because f@#!ing traffic!) but Nissan’s got your back. Under its Renault-Nissan Alliance, the automaker will launch more than 10 vehicles featuring autonomous-driving (AD) technology in the next four years, starting this year with vehicles that feature “single-lane control,” a feature allowing cars to drive autonomously on highways, including heavy stop-and-go traffic. Yeah, we’re lookin’ at you, 405. Expect to see the debut of “multiple-lane control” vehicles in 2018, which can negotiate hazards and change lanes during highway driving on their own. And finally, in 2020, the initiative will culminate with the introduction of “intersection autonomy,” which can navigate city intersections and heavy urban traffic without driver intervention. It’s all in an effort to provide a more pleasant experience for drivers—so long, road rage—and reduce the occurrence of accidents. “Autonomous-driving technology will help minimize driver error, which can account for up to 90% of traffic fatalities, by helping improve the driver’s ability to see, think and react to situations on the road,” says Maarten Sierhuis, Director of the Nissan Research Center in Silicon Valley. “Cars with AD technology have a suite of applications to enable the driver to operate for periods of time without touching the steering wheel or looking at the road.” In conjunction with the AD technology, Alliance will launch a new automotive app for mobile devices, which allows remote interaction with your car, followed by the first “Alliance Multimedia System” in 2017 that will provide new multimedia and navigation features, as well as improved smartphone integration and wireless map updates. In 2018, the Alliance Connectivity & Internet of Things platform will support the new Virtual Personal Assistant feature for individual and business customers. If all of this sounds a little too hands-free for you, rest assured that you’re not being completely replaced. “Some consumers believe AD vehicles will take the joy Nissan’s IDS Concept, which appeared at the North American of driving away from drivers, Intl Auto Show in Detroit but Nissan is developing AD technology that keeps the driver as part of the equation,” Sierhuis adds. “Nissan’s definition of AD means that cars must have someone at the wheel who can take over at any time.” By contrast, self-driving or “driverless” cars do not need a driver and may not have a steering wheel or brakes that a human can operate. Google is currently testing a version of this type of vehicle, one of which crashed into a bus in Santa Clara in February. No word yet on which specific models will include RenaultNissan’s new AD tech, but the automaker promises it will be installed on mainstream, mass-market cars at affordable prices. —Mikey Rox

MARCH 30, 2016

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Pee Shy? Here’s Why When does your nervous bladder become a problem worthy of seeking professional help? Here’s a steady stream of info on paruresis, its causes and simple techniques to overcome urinal drama By Patrick Rosenquist

t’s fairly normal for someone to feel a little anxious when it comes to, well, relieving himself, and there can be a host of reasons why. Maybe the bathroom is crowded, or you’re in an unfamiliar place. Maybe there’s something else rambling around your brain that’s making it difficult to go. But when does this anxiety become a problem? Dr. Yan Somoza, a psychologist based out of Beverly Hills and Palm Springs, believes paruresis (better known as ”shy bladder syndrome”) and parcopresis (”shy bowel syndrome”) slides into more serious territory if it’s interrupting one’s life. “They’re performance-based anxiety disorders, and they’re usually understood in a social context,” Somoza says, which makes both conditions similar to—and possibly an expression of—sexual performance issues. “People who have trouble urinating are, in essence, afraid of being judged. Usually it’s about the sound or strength of their stream when it comes to a shy bladder.” Dr. Somoza also states that paruresis and parcopresis can be symptoms of a bigger problem—some-

thing that may be addressed with therapy. “Those who truly suffer from shy bladders tend to have similar traits; the big one is catastrophizing,” he says, referring to the habit of anticipating outsized consequences for small transgressions. “They’re overly worried about how others will react. Nine times out of 10, though, nothing bad happens.” On the other hand, those who don’t suffer from this problem tend to have looser personal boundaries— they’re usually more comfortable with being touched or being undressed in front of others. “The need for privacy is, of course, very natural,” the doctor says. The connection to sexual performance, too, is an interesting one for gay men, Dr. Somoza points out. The public restroom’s long history as a cruising site means there’s a sexual component for some men, even if it’s not something they usually partake in. “Cruising is a part of our community’s history,” he says. ”Especially in sexually charged areas, like a gay bar or a club, some people may feel a general sense of anxiety that contributes to a shy bladder.” Somoza also points out that parcopresis has a

sexual component, too. “The anal region is a sexual area for gay and bisexual men. A dating, sexual and cultural focus on the buttocks or anus might make men, particularly bottoms, sensitive about their functions down there,” he points out. In short: your performance anxiety in one part of life may well be the same performance anxiety affecting the other. But when does your shyness go from being a nuisance to something worth seeing a doctor about? First, it’s always sensible to make sure your problem going to the bathroom isn’t caused by something physiological. “Prostatitis or Irritable Bowel Syndrome can make using the bathroom difficult, and the same with urinary tract infections,” Dr. Somoza says. On the other hand, some of the consequences of shy bladder syndrome—like holding in your urine for long periods of time, or not fully relieving yourself—can cause these issues, making it harder to figure out which problem came first. And, of course, any time there’s pain when using the bathroom, you should consult a doctor. Somoza believes that, like most anxiety disorders, there are gradations, and if left unchecked, the phobia MARCH 30, 2016

FOR YOUR

health continued

Trip-Top Shape 5 ways to keep the doctor away while you’re on vacay

alling ill on a getaway, whether for work or pleasure, is the pits. Save the wheezing and sneezing for the comfort of your own bed with these healthy travel habits.

B5 supplements pre-flight if you plan to drink, and magnesium during the flight to support the alcohol dehydrogenase enzyme that breaks booze down and eliminates it from the body.

1. Boost your immunity And proactively protect your health while on public transportation. Up your vitamin C intake before departure; carry a water bottle to stay hydrated; and use hand sanitizer to reduce the amount of germs from tray tables, door handles and bathrooms. Bring your own relaxation essentials—pillows, small blankets, eye masks—to avoid carrier-issued items that may be used and unsanitary.

4. Find time to exercise

2. Skip the sugar Choose snacks of substance instead. There’s plenty of opportunity to indulge away from home, but keep your diet in check (at least while you’re en route) by stuffing your carryon with healthy nuts, proteinpacked granola bars, beef jerky and other munchies that travel well and help you feel fuller longer. 3. Limit alcohol consumption And defend your system against its dehydrating effects. Dr. Carolyn Dean, a California-licensed MD and nutrition expert, recommends taking B1, B3 and

WITH AARON SAVVY

➸ Send your questions to aaronsavvy@ gmail.com

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Allow your body to get used to your new call time. This will take a week or so. I suggest having a protein shake and adding 2 tbsp of instant coffee to it. Blend in water and ice. The protein will ignite your metabolism while the coffee will jolt your senses. Works like a charm.

5. You still need your ZZZs Getting proper shut-eye on-the-go is a feat unto itself, but a good night’s sleep is essential to keeping immunity at peak performance. “When choosing a hotel, get a room away from the elevator or ice machine, and make sure the window shades work properly,” says Dr. Robert S. Rosenberg, a boardcertified sleep medicine physician and author of Sleep Soundly Every Night, Feel Fantastic Every Day, adding, “Avoid bright light within a few hours of falling asleep at your destination.“ —Mikey Rox

Sometimes when I rock the treadmill at the gym, I get shin splints. What causes them, and what can I do to prevent them? —Dayne, Hollywood When someone hasn’t trained in a while and isn’t well-conditioned, he puts stress on his bones, which respond much the same way muscles do. When we run, the tibia bends slightly from impact. When we rest, it rebuilds and gets stronger. Adequate rest or less impact is needed to recuperate from shin splints. Once your body is conditioned, you can slowly increase the difficulty of your workout.

BIOPHILIA: © ARTOFPHOTO

FITNESS

I’m not a morning person (like, at all) but I have to hit the gym before work. Any tips for waking up at the crack of dawn? —Grant, Silver Lake

Even if it’s quick. Staying active will help you avoid the rut that leads to feeling run-down. Some hotels are making it easier to stick to your regimen, too: In addition to $5-per-day workout clothing and shoe rentals if you forgot to pack your gear, Westin Hotels provide “Running Concierges” at select locations who lead groups and advise guests on the best places to jog around town, while all Kimpton Hotels provide Gaiam yoga mats and a yoga channel in every room.

PEE SHY: © VCHALUP; TRIP-TOP: © OPOLJA

can be progressive. “It can range from being unable to go when there’s too much foot traffic to the situation where you can only relieve yourself if you’re in your own bathroom, and no one else is home.” As for what causes symptoms to get worse, Dr. Somoza points out that what allows an anxiety disorder to become more prevalent is simply avoidance. “It’s a negative feedback loop,” he says. ”It’s hard to go in front of others, so you just don’t do it.” Eliding the problem makes it that much bigger. That’s why one of the main strategies in combating both problems is to slowly expose oneself to situations that trigger anxiety. Dr. Somoza stresses that the process is best done slowly and with guidance. (Throwing oneself into a panic-inducing situation isn’t going to ease one’s worries.) “Let’s say that peeing in front of someone in the same restroom is a 10 on an anxiety scale, but doing so with a friend in earshot isn’t so bad. You’d want to start smaller, until you’re more comfortable,” he says. Somoza also recommends breathing techniques and muscle relaxation—in short, try to get yourself out of a frantic head space. “Those are easy to do, and they’re pretty effective when it comes to some anxiety,” he says. Still, the doctor believes that if it’s becoming a major problem, seeking help isn’t shameful or unusual. “This is a topic a lot of people find difficult to discuss. It’s very private,” he says. It can also feel like it isn’t an issue worth addressing. “If you’re able to address the problem, it can really help your life. It can help with your self-esteem or feelings of control.” Anxiety, in any form, can certainly be hard to bear.

MARCH 30, 2016

FOR YOUR

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GYM MIX By DJ James Cerne 1. “High on Your Love” Debbie Jacobs 2. “Cherchez Pas” Madleen Kane

It’s probably not as kinky as you’re imagining, but an affinity for the great outdoors can keep you healthy, horny and thriving By Dr. Greg Cason

e all know gay men can be kinky, so let’s make room for one more fetish—biophilia. Unlike other peccadilloes that require tolerance of pain, oversized props or unfortunate smells, biophilia is one I recommend everyone get into and engage in as frequently as possible. Sure, it’s also the name of a Björk album, and if you listen to it, she illustrates the word’s meaning: attraction or affinity for life itself. But it’s not just the selfish desire to be alive so we can engage in all the fun things that eventually kill us; it’s the connection to a greater life than us, nature in all its glory—forests, mountains, rivers, lakes, oceans and the like. Trees and plants are big reasons why these places are so beneficial. They aren’t just pretty to look at, but they better our health by giving us oxygen to breathe, by making nutritious foods and by producing medicinal substances. They provide protection from the sun and give us wood to build things. But perhaps their most unknown benefit is that exposure to places with lots of flora is associated with better mental health. The Japanese have a word for it—shinrin-yoku, or “forest bathing”—referring to the well-being found by spending time in nature. But it isn’t just the beautiful things we see that help us feel better. (Otherwise we could surround ourselves with ‘70s forest wallpaper and Star Trek holograms.) It’s also the things we inhale. The key may be negative ions. (If you just winced, chances are you were hoodwinked into buying a negative ion machine from an airplane catalog, only to be left with a thin layer of black particles on your curtains, walls and furniture.) Negative ions are odorless, tasteless and, except for the residue they create, invisible. Still, they pack a wallop. Ion researcher Michael Terman, PhD, of New York’s Columbia University, has found that negative ions relieve depression just as well as antidepressants in those with Seasonal Affective Disorder or chronic depression. But the amount you need to lift your mood is unlikely to come from any machine. Most machines sold in those cata-

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logs don’t produce enough negative ions to have an effect. So rather than shopping for a solution, unplug and go to the source—forests, parks and moving water, especially rivers, waves and waterfalls. That’s where negative ions are highest—where life is thriving. Center for Applied Cognitive Sciences researcher and Owners Manual for the Brain author Pierce J. Howard, PhD, says, “Negative ions increase the flow of oxygen to the brain; resulting in higher alertness, decreased drowsiness and more mental energy.” Some even say it stimulates sexual desire and behavior. Maybe that’s why gay groups for hiking, camping and rafting, and events like gay ski weeks, do so well. They bring hot, sexy, outdoors-minded men together to have fun and enjoy nature as only a gay biophiliac can. Because most of us live in a concrete jungle, getting away to a place where nature is bigger than ourselves can bring us back to the source. So before you make an appointment with your doctor to get an antidepressant, maybe you should first call up your travel agent and set up two weeks in nature to see if that helps. Too shy to join your fellow men on a group vacation? Grab a sleeping bag and go enjoy nature on your own. If time is a problem, or perhaps even between vacations, local tree-covered spots like Griffith Park and Fryman Canyon can give you that biophilic fix to keep you feeling good. Last, keep in mind that you have a natural negative ion producer at your disposal anytime: your shower. Every time you rinse off, stop and take a deep negative ion-filled breath, thanking nature for providing the water that cleanses, fuels and heals you. Let’s just hope the drought police don’t get wind of your new fetish.

Contact Dr. Cason by going to DrGreg.com, or interact with him on Twitter @DrGregCason

4. “That’s the Kind of Love I’ve Got For You” Dusty Springfield 5. “Spank” Jimmy Bo Horne 6. “Time” Light of the World 7. “My First Mistake” The Chi-Lites 8. “It’s a Better Than Good Time” Gladys Knight & The Pips 9. “If You Could Read My Mind” Viola Wills 10. “Cathedrals” D.C La Rue

Cerne recently came across this playlist for his very first DJ gig in 2009—a sleazy disco party at a Cambridge, Mass., hole-in-the-wall dive—and was surprised at how many songs still make it into his rotation. You’ll find Cerne at local East Side and DTLA parties House (Precinct), Take It Off, Father Figure and Big Bad Wolf (Faultline), and The Wind Up (Bar Mattachine).

BIOPHILIA: © ARTOFPHOTO PHOTO CREDIT TK

Your New Fetish: Biophilia

3. “Can’t Live Without Your Love” Tomiko Jones

MARCH 30, 2016

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events ■ Thu. | March 17 ST. PADDY’S BEER PONG TOURNAMENT Redline

It’s that time of the year where you get sick on green beer, and Redline is celebrating with a beer pong tourney. Tables open at 6 p.m., and there will be a $100 grand prize! redlinedtla.com ■ Through March 20 PALEYFEST L.A. Dolby Theatre

See the stars and creators of your favorite shows in person at this annual event, this year hosting series as varied as Difficult People, Fear the Walking Dead and AHS: Hotel. paleycenter.org

nightlife

The secret is out every Sunday night, as DirtyBurty’s own naughty dancers writhe on a box for your pleasure, with a soundtrack provided by DJs Barbeau, David Banjela and Johnny Jewel. $2 “sacrifice shots” all night long. revolverweho.com

The group’s program for this night includes Beethoven quartets and other works. The group is known for working and collaborating with artists across musical genres. thebroadstage.com

Dan Savage’s 11th annual Hump! Film Festival showcases the very best of amateur porn By Mike Ciriaco

I ■ Sun. | March 20 BEAR BUST Precinct

■ Mon. | March 21 PLANET QUEER Akbar

Based in L.A., Australianborn photographer Luke Austin features new work in his first solo exhibition in the city. Known for his intimate male nude portraits, the exhibition showcases 14 portraits of friends shot at his home. Through April 16. jasonvass.com

Everyday is Hump Day

■ Sun. | March 20 CALDER QUARTET The Broad Stage

The bears take over Precinct, drawn in by $5 Honey Bear shots and $3 Miller Lite. DJ Josh Peace rules the dance floor, with Baby Bear and Matthew Edward the day’s go-go meat. precinctdtla.com

■ Sat. | March 19 LUKE AUSTIN: SOFT INSTANT Jason Vass Gallery

exhibits

■ Sun. | March 20 ILLUMINAUGHTY Revolver

■ Fri. | March 18 SPEAKEASY! Fubar

It’s a brand-new twist on queer nightlife as you enter the Fubar speakeasy. Prepare to have all your senses stimulated, with drink specials, rowdy and retro beats by DJ Nelstar and performances. Creative attire encouraged. fubarweho.com

theater

Ian MacKinnon and Travis Wood present an evening of queer artists—dancers, musicians, performance artists, rare birds and gayliens—bringing their work to the stage. DJ Billy Botox provide’s the night’s soundtrack. facebook.com/ planetqakbar

screenings in person. This means watching port all started with two questions. Dan nography in real time, next to strangers, just like Savage, founder of the Hump! Film Festival, West Hollywood’s somewhat antiquated Studs showcasing the best of amateur porn at at the Pussy Cat Theatre. It creates a unique L.A.’s Downtown Independent this month, audience experience. was messing around with a colleague at his “When we watch porn home alone, we hometown Seattle publication The Stranger. only click on what we see. At Hump! you’re not “We were joking that we should do a call for able to click. You watch what unfolds before submissions and announce an amateur porn film you,” Savage says. “What happens is you have festival,” he says. “The question then became, a cis-centered audience watching trans porn, ‘Would anyone submit?’ We had to fight the gay guys watching lesbian cunnilingus, straight paper to do it. The publisher didn’t think anyone bros watching gay guys butt-fucking, vanilla would take part, that people would make porn folks watching hardcore kink porn. At first, all to screen in the city they live. We announced it, anyone can see is the difference. Then, an after years of talking about it, and so much amazing thing happens. Nobody is havgreat stuff came in.” ing that reaction anymore. Everyone is The success of the announcelaughing and cheering and clapping. ment was immediately followed HUMP! FILM FEST After 15 minutes, they see what’s by the second query. “Then the Downtown underneath.” question became, ‘Would people Independent Hump! has thereby estabsit in dark movie theaters next to March 18-26 lished its own democratic purview strangers and watch porn like their humpfilmfest.com of pornography. “We had a film grandparents used to?’” called Go Ahead and Pee, which was After 11 years of screening DIY just a woman in a grey leotard jumping blue films, the answers to both are an on a trampoline while a voice-over said, ‘Go astounding “Yes!” Admittedly, Hump! isn’t the ahead, pee.’ And then she did. Some people are only amateur porno competition in the world, but like, ‘Why is that in there? That's not porn,’” says according to Savage, it has a single characteristic Savage. “Well, its somebody’s porn.” that separates it from its peers. But even Hump! strives to be more egalitar“It’s fun. These are labors of love,” he says. ian, according to Savage. Not unlike this year’s “Hump! films are porn movies that people make Oscars, the film fest is craving more ethnic with their friends and lovers to share their sexuvariety. “One of the critiques of Hump!, which ality, gender identity, perspective and their joy. is legitimate, is that it’s so white,” he says. “For That makes it a different porn experience.” the last 10 years, it’s been a Seattle and Portland It should also be mentioned that unlike thing. We’re expanding to other cities, and we other film festivals, Hump! consciously lacks hope that it gets less white as we get submisan online screening component. If a viewer wants sions for more diverse parts of the country.” to see the submissions, they have to attend the MARCH 30, 2016

■ ■ ■ ■

GAY GEEKS UNITE!

One panel at WonderCon will explore the overlap of gayness and geekdom in modern culture continued ■ Tue. | March 22 GERSHWIN SINGS GERSHWIN Catalina Bar & Grill

■ Wed. | March 23 TO LIVE AND DESIGN IN DTLA Pacific Design Center

Singer Alexis Gershwin, niece of iconic American composer and lyricists George and Ira, performs a 75-minute salute to her uncles’ music. In this onenight only performance, she’s backed by The Gershwin Singers & Band. catalinajazzclub.com

A panel of emerging practitioners at PDC’s Westweek 2016 examine the allure of DTLA among artists and designers, and how a new wave of creatives are leading the charge. pacificdesigncenter.com

■ Wed. | March 23 COMPANHIA URBANA DE DANÇA REDCAT

A Brazilian dance ensemble renowned for burning up the stage with high-speed energy reinvents the kinetics of street dance, fusing together hip-hop, samba, capoeira and contemporary forms. Through March 24. redcat.org

■ Fri. | March 25 WAITING FOR JOHNNY DEPP The Whitefire Theatre

This one-woman musical was created by award-winning writers and composers, inspired by true events in the creators’ lives. Deedee O’Malley stars as the quirky Rita Donatella, on a quest to land a role in a Depp film. Through June 10. johnnydepp. brownpapertickets.com

SNAP SHOTS ✱

✱

and Geek Culture, exploring how ust like the Avengers’ Hank those once-polar-opposite niches P y m , Wo n d e r Co n h a s have recently begun to overlap. evolved from a tiny Ant-Man Moderated by yours truly, X-Over into a formidable Goliath. Running unites LGBT comic creators Tara March 25-27, the more intimate Madison Avery (Gooch, Anything alternative to San Diego’s sprawlThat Loves), Sina Grace (Selfing Comic-Con relocates to the Obsessed), Jim McCann L.A. Convention Center (Mind the Gap, Return after outgrowing its of the Dapper Men) longtime Anaheim and Josh Trujillo home base. (It’s X-OVER PANEL AT (Love Machines, rumored that Los WONDERCON D e ath S ave s) Angeles is using L.A. Convention with television the event as a Center p r o d u c e r Te d litmus test for March 27 Biaselli and prothe possibility of comic-con.org fessional game snatching the more developer Gordon visible Comic-Con for Bellamy to discuss how itself.) Guinea pig or not, the one-time predominately WonderCon is sure to satisfy straight boys club of geek culqueer fans of comic books, colture increasingly crosses into the lectables and cosplay. queer realm, like with gay superO n S u n d a y, t h e L G B T heroes Midnighter and Ryan nonprofit organization Prism Reynolds’ omnisexual Deadpool. Comics hosts the panel X-Over: You won’t want to miss it. —M.C. The Cross-Section of Gay Culture

✱

BEARBARELLA / BEARDO WEIRDO | DRAGONFLY Photos by Jeremy Lucido

CASA VALENTINA: JEWEL MOORE

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MARCH 30, 2016

■ ■ ■ ■ Christian Clemenson (left) and John Vickery

S N A P SHOTS ✱

✱

FRESH FRIDAYS | FLAMING SADDLES Photos byJason King Photography

Ladies Who Lunch

Tony Award-winning playwright Harvey Fierstein sees Casa Valentina mounted on the West Coast

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PHOTOVALENTINA: CASA CREDIT TK JIM COX PHOTOGRAPHY

he men of Casa Valentina may be straight, but they’re definitely not narrow. The Harvey Fierstein-penned play, which made its West Coast debut at the Pasadena Playhouse earlier this month, chronicles the true story of a circle of heterosexual men who spend their weekends vacationing in the Catskills while dressed as women. “It’s a fascinating subject, and a truly unique one,” says the show’s director, David Lee. “It’s not about Caitlyn Jenner. It’s not about the transgendered or transitioning. It’s not about drag queens. It’s about male heterosexual cross-dressers. And their wives. When I saw it in New York, I walked into the theater thinking I knew what it was about, but I was wrong. I walked out saying, ‘Wow. I had no idea.’” Set in the hotel Casa Valentina during the 1960s, the play deals with a confederacy of gender-benders who are debating whether or not to become an official organization. The source material for the story can be traced back to a happy accident. “As I understand it, a couple of collectors found a box of photos at a flea market or antique sale,” says Lee. “These photos at first glance appeared to be of a variety of women enjoying themselves at a sylvan resort. A very short second look revealed that they were actually men in female attire. After research, they published the photos with a hisCASA tory of the resort in a book called Casa VALENTINA Pasadena Playhouse Susanna. That book found its way to Through April 10 Harvey Fierstein, who used it as a pasadenaplayhouse.org jumping-off point for his play.” The original Broadway production garnered a litany of accolades, including four Tony Award nominations and a Drama Desk win for one of its stars, Reed Birney. These achievements set a rather high bar for Lee. “The play was very well-received on the East Coast, beautifully designed and cast, so the main challenge in doing the West Coast premiere is to match that level of quality while making this production its own,” he says. “Luckily, I’m blessed with a great design and support team, as well as a dream cast that includes John Vickery and Lawrence Pressman.” It would seem Vickery and Pressman have rather large shoes to fill—high-heeled ones at that. —M.C.

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S N A P SHOTS ✱

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TOTALLY NINETIES TUESDAYS | THE ABBEY Photos by Rolling-Blackouts

continued ■ Fri. | March 25

BIG BUNNY SPRING FLING Los Angeles Zoo

With paid zoo admission, children can enjoy a range of activities, including the opportunity to pet bunnies, face painting, crafts and musical entertainment. Through March 27. lazoo.org

■ Sun. | March 27 SNOWBOUND Faultline

Mario Diaz, with Justin David Presents, hosts this Easter Sunday parking lot party at L.A.’s favorite East Side watering hole, complete with fetish demos, sexy go-go beef and ... snow! The event also acts as a benefit for L.A. Leather Pride. faultlinebar.com ■ Sun. | March 27 CUB SCOUT Eagle L.A.

■ Fri. | March 25 DREAMGIRLS La Mirada Theatre

This story of an up-andcoming ‘60s girl group follows the trials and tribulations that come with fame and fortune. It’s unforgettable hits will be performed through April 17. lamiradatheatre.com

A special edition of the popular East Side party takes place on Easter Sunday, featuring special guest DJ Daniel Wang (Balihu Records, Berlin), Den Mother Lady Bear and guest hosts Ambrosia Salad and Fifi LaFille. eaglela.com

■ Sat. | March 26 CTG’S THE SHOP Center Theatre Group

It’s the return of one of SF’s most amazing parties, featuring DJ Bus Station John and a special opening set courtesy of Victor Rodriguez. akbarsilverlake.com ■ Sat. | March 26 ARTISTS & FLEAS Abbot Kinney

Earlier this month, the artist, vintage and designer market went bimonthly at its fourth nationwide location (which includes NYC and DTLA). On first and fourth Saturdays, check out over 100 vendors and food trucks. artistsandfleas.com 32

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■ Wed. | March 30 COLE ESCOLA IN L.A. The Virgil

His solo sketch comedy show has sold out monthly in the guts of New York since 2013, and now he’s in L.A. for one night only. Come see the performer Lena Dunham called “A bona fide genius.” coleescolathevirgil. nightout.com ■ Through April 30 A NIGHT AT THE BLACK CAT CABARET Edgemar Center for the Arts

In 1943 Paris, soldiers, smugglers and society’s elite all try to escape life’s ills by dancing and drinking at the Black Cat Cabaret, but they can’t escape WWII. edgemarcenter.org

COLE ESCOLA: ALLISON MICHAEL ORENSTEIN

■ Sat. | March 26 DISCO DADDY Akbar

GET SPUN: AUSTIN YOUNG; EATING OUT: PHOTOS COURTESY FARMBOY KITCHEN

Part of a series of free theater workshops to community members at the CTG costume and prop shop, this evening, attendees will learn how to make a cast of their own hand to create an art piece. centertheatregroup.org

EATINGOUT Jackie Beat

GET SPUN Jackie Beat and DJ Paul V twist L.A. nightlife with Spin the Bottle

GET SPUN: AUSTIN YOUNG; EATING OUT: PHOTOS COURTESY FARMBOY KITCHEN

COLE ESCOLA: ALLISON MICHAEL ORENSTEIN

“I

t’s part-game show, part-drag show, all fun!” says local drag superstar Jackie Beat of Spin the Bottle, her weekly party at Bar Mattachine. “I essentially spin a big wheel to determine the subject of the song parody I’m going to sing— everything from cock to Disney to the ‘80s. And, yes, I have a song that is all three of those!” A collaboration between Beat and longtime Frontiers contributor DJ Paul V, the party originated from their yearning to create a unique weekly event within the realm of L.A.’s gay nightlife scene. “After doing drag for over 25 years, I really have to think of ways to repackage my material,” she says. “I have hundreds of song parodies, so I thought some sort of a ‘Jackie jukebox’ would be fun!” “It was a perfect way to surprise people with thematic songs depending on where the bottle lands on the wheel,” adds Paul V. “She even built the damn wheel herself!” Throwing memorable affairs is nothing new for this twosome of the twilight hours. The duo first met decades ago when Beat first performed at Paul V’s legendary monthly soiree, Dragstrip 66. “Twenty-plus years later, she still makes me laugh out loud. She’s fearless, and she raises the roof with every song she sings,” Paul SPIN THE V says. “Bar none, Jackie is the cream BOTTLE of the crop when it comes to off-theBar Mattachine cuff comedic brilliance and a stunning Wednesdays singing voice. And no shade, but I find facebook.com/ most drag queens just lip-syncing other BarMattachine people’s songs a little played-out. So this is such a great antithesis to that.” Spin the Bottle also recently reunited Beat with another of her reoccurring collaborators in fellow drag darling Sherry Vine. In addition to tearing up the boards of Bar Mattachine, the two flaunted their onstage chemistry in the revival of Golden Girlz Live at Casita del Campo earlier this month. “The New York Times called us the ‘Laurel and Hardy of drag!’” says Beat. “I’m pretty sure they only meant that I’m fat and Sherry’s thin, but I will take being compared to a legendary, iconic comedy duo as a compliment!” The accolade is merited. For decades, Beat has repeatedly proven her finesse as one of the most constantly entertaining drag queens on two coasts. “Not to toot my own horn, but most drag shows around town are five or six girls doing death drops and lip syncing,” Beat says. “This is one talented ‘lady’ singing live. And, honey, if I ever do a death drop, it will literally be a death drop, because I’ll probably die!” —M.C.

Farmboy Fresh

sandwich—served on a baked-on-site kaiarmboy Kitchen, recently opened at ser roll with provolone and horseradish the (notoriously lacking in good eats) sauce—and a perfectly crunchy fried chicken intersection of Santa Monica Boulevard sandwich that is too delicious to be shared, and Vine, is quite a change of pace from the dressed with kimchi and a roasted garlic other local establishment where you might lemon aioli. Great as a side dish but also find Hunter Fox—the latter being Eagle L.A., entrée-worthy is Farmboy’s Caesar salad, Silver Lake’s notorious leather bar, which Fox featuring homemade dressing and croutons, has long overseen alongside his hubby, Charlie generously coated in shaved parmesan and Matula. But those who consider the modern, meant to be eaten fork-less. For those seekstreamlined take on ’upscale California deli’ an ing heartier fare, rotisserie chicken and Fox’s out-of-left-field venture for Fox ... well, those aforementioned brisket chili are also options. people haven’t tasted his award-winning chili. Offering diners from-scratch dishes is the It’s been months since initial rumblings of Southern way, of course, and that’s a method Fox’s plan—to revitalize the Hollywood space that extends to the restaurant’s glass case. All with upscale yet comfortable eats—began, of Farmboy’s breads are made but the time has finally come: in-house, and Fox has found a Farmboy Kitchen is ready jewel in Janet Greenblatt (forto feed you. It does so in an merly of Clifton’s), the spot’s open-air dining room outfittalented pastry chef. Her dested with slick concrete floors, serts are alone plenty reason to stark white subway tiles and step into the space, the stars of reclaimed wood, the perfect her output being a chocolate, setting for a roster of dishes caramel and fleur de sel crethat are at once complex creation she’s dubbed “Chocolate ations and comfort food. What, Evil“ and a gluten-free brownieyou were expecting a dark Farmboy cookie that’s hard to resist. And and seedy space with Tom of Kitchen all of Farmboy’s desserts can be Finland artwork? 1050 Vine St., Hlywd. enjoyed with a fresh shot or two Fox put his Virginia fam(323) 848-4790 of Lavazza espresso. ily farm upbringing to work in $$$$$ Those seeking a solid crafting a menu with enough new (gay-owned!) lunch variation to keep guests comspot in Hollywood have had ing back week after week, or Atmosphere Upscale California deli their prayers answered, with perhaps even more frequently. breakfast and dinner service Fresh, local ingredients are Standout Dishes soon to follow. Also a draw is stars of the menu, skillfully Fried Chicken Sandwich, Grandma’s Potato Salad, the restaurant’s employ of a showcased in hearty sandChocolate Evil friendly, attractive group of wiches, sizeable salads and Drinks local guys you may recognize side dishes that skirt the line Beer and wine coming soon from their shifts at East Side between grandma’s downand DTLA gay bars; perhaps home cooking and classic Hours 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. (currently) in that sense, Hunter Fox’s local California cuisine. business ventures aren’t all that Standouts include Reservations different. —Stephan Horbelt the thinly sliced top round Not Required

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MARCH 30, 2016

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WEST HOLLYWOOD SERIES

Gayby Baby

Told from the perspective of the kids, GAYBY BABY is intimate and sometimes humorous portrait of four Australian kids whose parents all happen to be gay. Wednesday, April 6, 7:30pm West Hollywood City Council Chambers at the West Hollywood Library 625 San Vicente Blvd, West Hollywood For tickets and more information, visit outfest.org Presented by

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Hosted by

The cast of The Real Housewives of Toluca Lake

From Real Housewives to Valley Girls 'CRAZY' GETS IT RIGHT HEY, TV FANS, DID YOU KNOW there’s a super funny postfeminist musical dramedy called Crazy Ex-Girlfriend? Did you know the show features one of the most heartwarming and unique same-sex relationships on TV? Sure, it’s primarily about Rebecca (Rachel Bloom) and her quest to land childhood boyfriend Josh (Vincent Rodriguez III), but the real couple of the show is Rebecca’s boss, recently divorced single dad Darryl Whitefeather (Pete Gardner), and his new boyfriend, White Josh. Darryl’s late-in-life realization that he’s bisexual was treated with warmth and understanding (how refreshing!), and Darryl’s coming out even came with a wonderful Huey Lewis-esque musical number called “Getting Bi.“ Crazy Ex-Girlfriend has been quietly revolutionary in so many ways this season. Do yourself a favor and check it out, so we can all enjoy another season. —Dominik Rothbard

Molly Bell has taken our country’s reality TV obsession and turned it into prime viewing set for the stage By Les Spindle

ravo’s ultra-popular Real Housewives franchise, launched in 2006, melds reality TV and high camp into a seemingly unstoppable franchise. Beginning with Real Housewives of Orange County, the craze escalated with subsequent spinoffs set in New York City, Atlanta, New Jersey, D.C., Beverly Hills, Miami, Potomac and Dallas. Northern California-based writer-composer-performer Molly Bell is now parlaying widespread Housewives mania into a series of spoof musicals for the stage. Next up is Bell’s San Fernando Valley edition, The Real Housewives of Toluca Lake: The Musical, appropriately housed at Garry Marshall’s ever-popular Toluca Lake venue, the Falcon Theatre. It begins previews March 23, running April 1-24. “The show is written for the title to be changed in each location it appears,” says Bell. “Specific jokes and locales have been written in to make it Toluca Lake- centric. The show was originally written in Northern California, but once I knew it would be making its Toluca Lake debut, we got to work adding local references.” Bell is working with a formidable collaborator in prolific writer-director-producer Roger Bean, a proven ace at jukebox musicals (including The Winter Wonderettes, MARCH 30, 2016

Sex with Strangers (left), Summer and Smoke

Molly Bell

the L.A. Drama Critics Circle-winning Life Could Be a Dream, The Andrews Brothers and many more). A SoCal resident who has staged his hit shows in various cities, as well as Off-Broadway, Bean is helming the Toluca Lake production. “Roger heard about my show, playing up North, and flew in to see it,” Bell says. “Lucky for me, he loved it and wanted to be a part of its growth. His success with The Marvelous Wonderettes and other shows has allowed him to develop artists’ work, and it’s been a great collaboration. We have a lot of fun.” Will fans of Real Housewives editions find elements that send-up the hit series? “I’ve drawn inspiration from all of the Real H ousewives shows . You The Real could say I watch way too Housewives much, but I call it research,” of Toluca she says. According to Bell, her Lake: The first Housewives show was Musical originally developed for the A send-up of town of Walnut Creek, near Bravo’s insanely San Francisco. “The show is popular reality similar in plot and twists, but TV series, set to it’s grown a lot since the promusic duction two years ago,” she Falcon Theatre says. “This one will in many April 1-24 ways be different, but mainly falcontheatre.com because we’ve learned a lot from the last production. Every installment will have a natural growth to it.” Bell has herself been a performer for 16 years, writing plays for seven. As a performer, she helped create roles in Memphis, Vanities and Andrew Lippa’s A Little Princess. “Writing and composing still feel new to me,” she says, “and I consider myself a newbie. The reward of watching a show that I wrote being fully produced is huge to me. In many ways, writing feels like a bigger risk, and it can be nerve-wracking wondering, Is it funny? Does it sound good? Will they laugh?” Summing up her experiences with her Housewives franchise, Bell adds, “The world is full of stress and worry. My goal in writing this show is to have a packed audience enjoying a night at the theater filled with laughter, joy and smiles. Real Housewives of Toluca Lake is pure fun and silliness, and I’m so excited that it’s taking Los Angeles by storm.” Meanwhile, Bell has her sights set on yet another TV franchise. “I’m currently working on a new script—a musical fairy tale about the television show The Bachelor. It’s in the early stages,” she says. “The first draft of the book is written, and I’m about to start in on the music.” Set in West Hollywood, perchance? 36

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On the Stage SEX WITH STRANGERS

*****

SUMMER AND SMOKE

*****

Geffen Playhouse // Through April 10 // Premiering at Chicago’s Steppenwolf company in 2011 and having its New York bow in 2014, Laura Eason’s twocharacter play offers a seriocomic glimpse at fervent career ambitions and provocative romance in the internet age. The play’s L.A. debut, directed by Kimberly Senior, stars Stephen Louis Grush, superb as a womanizing late-20s guy who proudly flaunts his conquests in his blog, and Rebecca Pidgeon, in a finely nuanced portrayal as a middle-aged novelist, chasing success in that career while toiling as a teacher. Their paths cross at a Michigan bed-and-breakfast retreat on a frigid winter night. The battle-of-the-sexes contest ensues there, then heads to her Chicago apartment after the act break. Halfway between a sophisticated 21st century rom-com and thoughtful pondering on the dehumanizing cyberspace world versus the more bracing sphere of unbridled passion, the play is quite enjoyable but could use a stronger sense of narrative cohesiveness and thematic coherency.

David Schall Theatre // Through April 17 // Tennessee Williams’ sultry and thought-provoking 1947 drama, strongly associated with Geraldine Page’s unforgettable lead performances on stage and screen, is also known as Eccentricities of a Nightingale, the author’s 1964 revision. Actors Co-op stages the original version, in a solid realization of the play’s provocative themes, captivating ambience and lyrical grace, enhanced by splendid production design. Director Thom Babbes helms this intelligent and emotionally stirring rendition, evoking a timeless relevance. Set in 1915 Mississippi, the story explores the conflicts between physical reality and spiritual essence, reflecting on faith, passion, guilt and redemption. The key relationship is between strongly repressed spinster Alma (Tara Battani, superb) and John (Gregory James, excellent), a womanizing local physician with an unusual bedside manner. These actors deliver richly nuanced portrayals, evoking a fine chemistry. —Les Spindle

Crazy in 70mm The widest 70mm theatrical release in 20 years was also one of the year’s most polarizing films. Some people were enamored while others espoused hatred of Quentin Tarantino’s eighth outing, The Hateful Eight, but wherever you fall on that film critic spectrum, the Jennifer Jason Leigh, Samuel L. Jackson and Kurt Russell-starring film is available to own on DVD and Blu-ray come March 29, packed with two featurettes—Beyond the Eight: A Behind-the-Scenes Look and Sam Jackson’s Guide to Glorious 70mm. —Tom Paul Jones

The Q&A: Michael Carbonaro

The Carbonaro Effect returns Wednesday, March 23, and here the handsome young illusionist gives us the scoop on the latest season

HOMO VERSUS HETERO LGBT couples have the chance to prove themselves against their straight counterparts in a new game show where paired-up partners prove how well they know each other. Modd Couples is the latest show on LGBT network Here TV. Hosts David Millbern and Olivia Harewood welcome two couples to each episode—one straight, one LGBT. Over three rounds, they must prove their knowledge of one another through games, like guessing how their partner would answer certain intimate questions. (You know the drill.) It’s all at the cheesy end of the game show spectrum, but intentionally so, and the show doesn’t take itself too seriously. “Modd Couples is really a comedy dressed up like a retro ’70s game show but with a fresh twist,” says Millbern, also one of the show’s producers. All six episodes are currently available on Here TV, as well as the network’s Hulu and YouTube Premium channels. —Dominic Preston

We Are Family

In theaters this month, writer and director Matt Sobel’s new film Take Me to the River is no picnic By Gary M. Kramer

amily reunions are always full of drama, but the one in writer/director Matt Sobel’s wonderfully discomfiting Take Me to the River is worth attending. Ryder (Logan Miller) is a California teenager who heads out with his mother Cindy (Robin Weigert) and father Don (Richard Schiff) to her family’s Nebraska homestead. He wants to tell his conservative relatives he’s gay; his parents don’t think that’s such a good idea. Besides, family tensions escalate plenty when Ryder is accused of doing something inappropriate with his pre-teen cousin Molly (an outstanding Ursula Parker). The anxiety Ryder feels extends to viewers. As Sobel explains, “Ryder realizes he does not know nearly as much as he thought about himself and the world.” Take Me to the River goes in a completely opposite direction than the setup suggests, which is one of its strengths. Sobel creates what he calls an “uncanny” experience: “It is something familiar but strange; it starts out naturalistic, but soon becomes insidious and darker.” The writer/director, who is straight, masterfully ratchets up the tension by creating awkward silences—as when Ryder performs a song for his uncle and cousins—or during an powerful scene when Molly and River visit the titular river.

A: I’m in Best Buy this season, and we came up with this product: thought-canceling headbands that also give people the ability of telekinesis. So I’m wearing this headband, moving stock items around. I told this one woman she could try it out, even take it home, and there she is with this breakthrough that would change the way we live and move. I left her alone with it and she took it off and started ... texting. Q: What's in Michael Carbonaro's future? A: I’m going on tour starting in April (check MichaelCarbonaro. com), and I’ll meet fans, and perform in front of an audience. Q: You’ve done some acting in the past. Want to do more of that? A: Yeah, sure! I’ve done a bunch of TV, and I love the idea of being on a sitcom someday or working in the movies. I’m going to be in Rush Hour; I’m in the second episode. But The Carbonaro Effect keeps me really busy. It really is allconsuming. Hopefully it’ll be a long, exciting career. It’s been awesome so far. —D.R.

Q: What’s one of your favorite tricks from the upcoming season? A: We hired out an Elks Lodge where they do wakes, and I orchestrated a whole event where there are caterers in the other room, and one by one I’d send them to another room and there was a casket in the room. When you put someone in a room with a casket, oh boy, anything goes! Q: You worked with Shaq on the premiere? A: Here’s the thing. I’ve always wanted to have a lovely assistant, and I thought, who else but Shaq? We do this really cool gag where he’s coming to give the final approval of a home kitchen machine that he might put his name on. Of course everything goes awry. He landed every mark and played it totally seriously. Q: Who are some of your favorite magicians? A: My childhood heroes were David Copperfield and Freddy Krueger. I was a crossbreed of magic and special effects and horror. Q: Ever have a trick go totally wrong?

FOUR LAMBDA LITERARY AWARD FINALISTS YOU SHOULD READ NOW

THE EARLY STORIES OF TRUMAN CAPOTE BY TRUMAN CAPOTE

JD: A NOVEL BY MARK MERLIS

TINY PIECES OF SKULL, OR A LESSON IN MANNERS BY ROZ KAVENY

HOTEL LIVING BY IOANNIS PAPPOS MARCH 30, 2016

4 NEW MUST-WATCH MUSIC VIDEOS

“BLUE MONDAY”

If you ever imagined New Order’s iconic dance single with 1930s instruments, check out Orkestra Obsolete’s cheeky cover featuring a zither, singing wine glasses, a wood saw and a very excitable theremin player.

“A LOVE SONG”

5 New Tracks We’re Currently Living For 1. “Cold Call” by Boulevards Jamil Rashad, aka Boulevards, drops his much-anticipated debut, Groove!, on April 1. Until then, luxuriate in his slinky mix of Tom Tom Club, Prince and Sade on this funky earworm of a single. 2. “Where the Light Gets In“ by Primal Scream (feat. Sky Ferreira) These acid-damaged Scots haven’t sounded this fun since their early Madchester days circa-Screamadelica. Sky Ferreira, no stranger to drugs herself, guests on this electropop teaser from the band’s forthcoming Chaosmosis. 3. “3 Wheel-Ups” by Kano (feat. Giggs) This UK Grime MC’s recently released Made in the Manor makes a strong case for this decidedly English hybrid of rap and EDM to make a play Stateside. It’s skittish, beats-wise, and manic enough

to get you on the dance floor. Just don’t throw out your neck while keeping time with your bopping head. 4. “Tidal Wave” by Midi Matilda Most electro indie isn’t nearly as engaging as it pretends to be. But this San Francisco duo, quiet since their 2013 EP Red Light District, comes back swinging with this open-hearted hookfest. Can a formal debut be long behind? Let’s hope not. 5. “Water” by Ra Ra Riot Album four is where these Syracuse indie poppers start showing off, nowhere more eloquently than on this infinitely repeatable slice of pop heaven featuring a co-writing credit from Rostam Batmanglij (formerly of Vampire Weekend) and the soulful upper register of vocalist Wes Miles. —Dan Loughry

Commando Shares Its Not-So-Limp Bizkit Who would’ve thought the missing link between Limp Bizkit and Sigue Sigue Sputnik would be so ... gay? COMMANDO is a hardcore gay nü-metal rap collective comprised of Christeene, Krylon Superstar, Big Dipper, Van Jackson-Weaver and The Living Earth Show. (Isn’t anyone named John anymore?) Their debut three-song EP recently exploded all over the faces of the music industry, and things look never to be the same. “Open Wide“ is a eulogy for genitalia lost too soon, with equally disturbing shades of B-52s and Marilyn Manson. The group describes the EP’s closer “Land Mine“ as “the sound of Grace Jones pegging Ross Robinson in the bathroom of Mr. Bungle’s tour bus.“ While that description is a bit ambitious, they do come close. This is not a band to ignore. —Dominik Rothbard 38

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Enjoy this neon Anime lyric video while awaiting Ladyhawke’s official version, because our favorite Aussie lez has delivered one of the best sing-along electropop ditties you’re gonna hear all year.

“AUGUST IN PARIS” We never see French singer Sage’s face in this surreal but fun video, but we do see hundreds of topless women, dancing thighs and legs and a militia of mannequins marching in lockstep to his indie dance beats.

“MARBLE MACHINE”

What kind of OCD musician would take the time to create a glorious contraption featuring 3,000 moving parts and 2,000 marbles? Martin Molin, aka Wintergatan, and the gimmick fades once you hear how beautiful the song is. —Paul V.

SET YOUR

DVR 1. THE REAL WORLD

The show’s 31st season (!) comes with a twist. Set in Las Vegas for the third time in the show’s run, this round is subtitled “Go Big or Go Home,“ and challenges will test the cast's “grit“ and could lead to them being booted. Remember when the biggest thing you had to worry about was peanut butter etiquette? (Thursday, March 17, MTV)

2. MARVEL'S DAREDEVIL

Netflix launches the show’s second season with 13 new episodes. This season, Matt Murdock (aka Daredevil) will see the return of his ex-girlfriend Elektra Natchios (aka Electric Nachos) and will meet Frank “The Punisher“ Castle, so expect comic book sparks to fly. (Friday, March 18, Netflix)

3. PEE WEE'S BIG HOLIDAY There’s virtually nothing that could deter us from watching this Judd Apatowproduced Pee-wee Herman movie costarring Joe Manganiello. Not even that Love’s icky Paul Rust co-wrote this thing. Here’s hoping Floory is in this. (Friday, March 18, Netlfix)

4. HEARTBEAT

Melissa George stars as a brilliant and stunning world-renowned heart surgeon who just can’t get her life together. Where is Hollywood coming up with these crazy innovative ideas? (Tuesday, March 22, NBC)

5. THE PATH

TELEVISION LONG DIVISION

Aaron Paul stars in this mysterious drama centered around the cult-like Meyerist Movement. The series takes an in-depth look at the gravitational pull of belief and what it means to choose between the life we live and the life we want. Whatever. As long as Paul takes his shirt off, we’ll be watching. (Wednesday, March 29, Hulu)

6. LOPEZ

Bad Life Decisions

Spray Tans

Dad Bods

Occasional Nudity

Gigolos 6th Season, March 17, Showtime

The comeback no one was asking for on the network no one will watch it on. George Lopez returns with a singlecamera autobiographical sitcom. Expect Carlos Mencia to follow suit in 3..2.. (Wednesday, March 29, TV Land) —D.R.

MARCH 30, 2016

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MARCH 30, 2016

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Costa Rica

72 HOURS OF PURA VIDA! !

4 TRAVEL APPS TO BUY BEFORE YOU GO

MISTERBNB

Named the “gay Airbnb” by Forbes, the well-designed mobile app of this short-term rental service can connect gay men to more than 30,000 hosts in over 130 countries.

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arm water and remote, gold-sand beaches are now within five hours of L. A ., thanks to Alaska Airlines and others offering regular nonstop service to Liberia, Costa Rica. The country shrugs off two of our seasons, offering “gold” (dry) and “green” (wet), equal in temperature though the wet season (from May to November) is accompanied by heavy afternoon rains that cool things down and turn the forests a vibrant green. Once you’ve landed in Liberia, it’s just a 25-minute drive from the airpor t to the Andaz Peninsula Papagayo Resor t, a naturalist’s paradise among the trees, where the gulf meets the waters of Culebra Bay. It’s a place where yo u ‘c h e c k o u t ’ a s soon as you check-in, leaving all your stress behind (an idea reinforced by the tags the hotel places on your

luggage upon arrival). Af te r c h e c k- i n , e x p e c t to b e whisked away by golf cart from the cocoon-like, lounge-inspired lobby to your suite. The décor is minimalist yet luxurious, with charming touches of local flare that create a warm, authentic feel, including local Costa Rican hats you’re invited to take home. Polished cement floors, a bay-facing balcony and wrap-around windows give you the feeling you’re luxuriating in a tree house. The hotel offers three restaurants

on-site, live music, two infinity pools, a spa and a 24/7 gym. It also puts you near two great beaches, one right on the bay at the resort, perfectly tranquil. You’ll find the other at Prieta Beach Club, a short ride on the hotel’s beach bus through the Arnold Palmer championship golf course, which offers one breathtaking view after another (14 of its 18 holes offer water views). At the Beach Club you’ll also find a lap pool, dining and the shade of native Pochote trees. Those looking to leave the comforts of the Andaz resort will need to shift to 4X4 mo de . With a coastal drive not an option, as there are no roads along the coast, you’ll need to drive inland and back out to explore other beaches. To sur f, opt for P l a y a Ta m a r i n d o , about 90 minutes south, but avoid the tourist trap that is Playa del Coco. Playa Penca, near Playa F l a m i n g o (a l s o 9 0

San Francisco

3 NEW REASONS TO HIT THE BAY Italy

ONE DAY IN ROME

ou may be surprised that the home of the Vatican also houses a vibrant gay scene. (Then again, maybe not so surprised.) While not the gayest place in Italy—that’d be fashion capital Milan—the Eternal City is a fabulous destination for a queer vacation. It’s got millennia of history as well as great shopping, gay nightlife and beautiful men. Here’s a quick itinerary in case it’s just a stop on your European tour. CHECK IN: 3:00 P.M. Domus Valeria is a cozy and quaint B&B for the area’s gay tourists. For more luxe lodgings, stay at the Sofitel overlooking the beautiful Villa Borghese Park. PEOPLE-WATCHING: 4:00 P.M. After dropping off your bags, stroll through the Villa Borghese. Plan your walk to end at the Piazza del Popolo. This large urban square is where you’ll find incredible people-watching. The Spanish Steps are just a few feet away, with lots of great shopping found on nearby streets. CLASSICA ITALIA: 8:00 P.M. Take a trip across the Tiber to Trastevere, a charming medieval neighborhood with a fiery temperament. A stroll around this former working-class district will take you away from the crowds to the hidden corners of Rome. For a local foodie feel, try Hostaria da Corrado, a small, family-run trattoria serving authentic cuisine. If you’re craving pizza, head to intimate Dar Poeta with its exposed-brick arches and wood-fired oven.

minutes south), has managed to hold onto its ‘local secret’ badge of honor. Playa Cabuyal (30 minutes north), touted for having Costa Rica’s most romantic sunset, is beautiful any time of day, and you’re likely to be solo on the sand minus the occasional bovine companion. Set back in the bay’s waters, you’ll arrive at Playa Iguanita (30 minutes south of the resort) after taking a dirt road off Route 253, through a stream or two. As it’s a wildlife refuge, there’s no fishing allowed, in case you brought

COME OUT, COME OUT: 11:00 P.M. While there’s a lot of nightlife in Trastevere, head back over the Tiber to enjoy gay spots. The main queer promenade is actually called Gay Street, with shops and bars along Via San Giovanni in Laterano. ‘Hetero-friendly’ Coming Out, steps from the Colosseum—a popular cruising spot in ancient times—is a fixture. Opened in 2001, it offers everything from coffee and food to karaoke, drag and live music. The Colosseum looks marvelous at night, too. COW PLAY: 1:00 A.M. If you’re in town on a Friday, Muccassassina rages at three-story nightclub Qube. It began in 1990 inside a former slaughterhouse in Testaccio (The party’s name means “cow murderer.”) A quartercentury later, it’s still Italy’s best gay party. TOURIST DISTRACTIONS: 10:00 A.M. Even though you partied into the wee hours, get your second day started early. You simply don’t have enough time for the Vatican or its museums, but you can enjoy the Piazza San Pietro. The Pantheon is another tourist destination easy to explore on a time crunch. Don’t eat at nearby tourist-trap restaurants. GELATO FOR LUNCH: 1:00 P.M. The one good thing you’ll find in the neighborhood is gelato at Origini gelateria, a small hole in the wall offering real artisanal gelato. It’s a small shop on a corner just behind the Pantheon, but pretty easy to spot with both doors open and the gelato visible from the street. —A.K.

your fishing pole. And Rincón de la Vieja Volcano National Park, located in the country’s northeast, is home to hot springs, vapor geysers, waterfalls and rivers that take you back to the Jurassic era. Those seeking a more adventurous visit than days whiled away on the sand can experience zipline tours of the jungle canopy as well as river rafting. A premier ecotourism destination, there’s plenty to do in Costa Rica, though doing absolutely nothing can sometimes be equally rewarding. —T.S.

1. CLIFT IS FIT FOR A QUEEN Last year, one of the city’s finest hotels—the CLIFT, located blocks from Union Square—invited a new kind of guest onto its grounds. Ten queens and 100,000 bees now call the property’s rooftop home (don’t worry, they’re in box hives), where they produce up to 70 pounds of local honey per year—liquid gold that gets used by the hotel’s executive chef Thomas Weibull in the Redwood Room. Along with the property’s dedicated cocktail herb garden (why didn’t we think of that?), no other SF spot makes sustainability sound so damn delicious. 2. THE CITY’S NEW POKE CRAZE Mmmm. Marinated raw fish. There’s been no lack of fast casual spots in SF offering poke to its seafood-loving diners—or fine establishments offering it up as a pre-entrée nosh— but the coming months will see not one, not two but five dedicated poke bars, which we think constitutes a “craze.” We’re most excited about Poke Bar in the Castro, stumbling distance from 440, offering poke and sushi burritos. 3. OSCAR! OSCAR! OSCAR! March 9 saw the star-studded opening of Oscar de la Renta: The Retrospective

1 2 3 at the city’s de Young Museum in Golden Gate Park. The exhibit, curated by none other than André Leon Talley, extends all the way back to the designer’s ‘60s work, its most magnificent piece being a custom Marie Antoinette dress worn by Kirsten Dunst for the September 2006 issue of Vogue. —S.H.

Costa Rica, clockwise from left: Andaz Peninsula Papagayo Resort; a waterfall at Rincón de la Vieja Volcano National Park; Andaz luggage tags sum up your Costa Rica vacation; the view from a luxe treehouse; the Gulf of Papagayo

MARCH 30, 2016

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Spain’s s architectur of El Albaic naval La Gala; skyd riding o

Spain

10 DAYS, 10 MAGICAL MOMENTS: THE ULTIMATE ROAD TRIP

en days. During a normal work week, that seems like an eternity. In other circumstances, that same length of time can pass in an instant. With that in mind and a partner-in-crime in tow, I set out to make the most of a whirlwind 10-day journey, from the southern reaches of Spain up to the country’s rugged eastern coast. The goal: to see as much of the country as time would allow. The ultimate road trip. Here are 10 of the adventure’s most magical moments. 1. PICASSO MUSEUM MÁLAGA He’s one of the world’s most celebrated artists, so it’s only fitting that Pablo’s birthplace is also home to a notable collection of his work. This villa-like museum is, without exception, a must-see on any visit to Málaga. museopicassomalaga.org 2. LA ALHAMBRA Spain is thought of as a Catholic country, but Granada’s La Alhambra is a symbol of a different nation. Built as a palace, a fortress and a citadel, it was the residence of the Nasrid Sultans, top government officials, and the royal guard from the 13th through 15th centuries, when the Moors ruled Spain. A striking example of Moorish architecture with equally striking views of the city and ample gardens yearning for exploration, La Alhambra could quite easily fill an afternoon with adventure. Be prepared to wait in lines, as the crowds visiting La Alhambra are plentiful and regular. alhambra-patronato.es

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3. EL ALBAICÍN Its winding, hillside streets form what’s known as the city’s Moorish quarter. Stroll the maze of streets and stop in at neighborhood bazaars and restaurants; they feel so authentic to Morocco, right down to the wares being sold, you might forget for just a few moments you’re even in Spain. 4. MASPALOMAS BEACH Situated at the southern tip of Gran Canaria in the Canary Islands, Maspalomas Beach represents one of many natural treasures located just off the coast

of northern Africa. Massive sand dunes surrounding the happening, clothing-optional beach are a marvel to behold (and even more of a marvel to climb). The most dramatic effect is the sight of the beach appearing like an oasis over the dunes’ edge—the stuff that inspires movies. For the full experience, book a camel ride from a nearby vendor. How many times are you presented with the option of camel-riding before enjoying a cocktail-fueled afternoon at the beach? 5. CARNAVAL LAS PALMAS It’s one of the oldest annual festivals held in Gran Canaria (beginning late January), and the unquestionable highlight of the festivities is the annual Drag Queen Gala. The whole island—gay, straight, trans and everything in between—comes out for what’s best described as the Super Bowl of drag. Not only is the event televised, but tickets to this extravaganza of glitter, sequins and show are so coveted that they sell out almost immediately. This show alone is reason to make a detour to paradise. lpacarnaval.com 6. AUTHENTIC VALENCIAN PAELLA Did you know paella originated in Valencia? That’s but one of many facts you’ll take away from a paella cooking class at Escuela de Arroces y Paella Valenciana. Begin with a guided tour of the Mercado Central to purchase all the necessary ingredients from local vendors, and continue on to the school’s kitchen for a step-by-step lesson in the art of paella. The class is

Puerto de Mogán

Gran Canaria

Clockwise from left: Spain’s striking example of Moorish architecture, La Alhambra; the streets of El Albaicín; Valkyria, winner of Carnaval Las Palmas’ 2015 Drag Queen Gala; skydiving above Girona; camelriding on the dunes of Maspalomas

5 MORE REASONS TO VISIT PARADISE EXPLORE PUERTO DE MOGÁN This picturesque marina, dotted with local shops and restaurants, is the perfect place to explore on a long, lazy afternoon. If you don’t plan on renting a car, there are buses from the city, so check with your hotel concierge for the nearest stops.

HOPPER

Use this app to book flights from your phone, but also use it to find out the best time to buy thanks to its “Watch a Trip” feature. When fares drop, you’ll get a push notification, which can also tell you if the price isn’t likely to fall further.

at once educational and delicious. And did I mention it’s also fun? escueladearrocesypaellas.com 7. LA ROCA VILLAGE No holiday is complete without a little (or a lot of) shopping, and La Roca Village—30 minutes from the beaches of Barcelona—is a destination unto itself. One of nine Chic Outlet Shopping Villages operated across Europe, the labels of La Roca commingle upscale brands like Polo Ralph Lauren, Gucci and Moncler with luxe Spanish-born brands like Loewe, Adolfo Dominguez, El Ganso and Lottussee. This is outlet shopping on a different (more luxurious) scale. larocavillage.com 8. COSTA BRAVA Translated as “Rough Coast,” it’s known for rugged

influences will delight your palate. That the restaurant is helmed by the most adorable couple, Fernando Henriquez Muñoz and Nikolaos Petas, who take great pride in their restaurant and the art of hospitality, is only more reason to visit. letmetakeu.com

VISIT YUMBO The vast Yumbo complex, on the island’s southern end, is a multi-level, open-air strip mall with clubs, shops, restaurants and bars of every conceivable stripe. Yumbo is as unique to Gran Canaria as Las Vegas is to America. Have a doner kebab, saunter past a German-owned café (filled with Germans), nip into a gay strip club, pop by a drag show, hit up a leather bar, then meet friends for a glass of champers. yumbocentrum.com

EXPERIENCE OLD TOWN VEGUETA From the oldest house on the island, which dates back to the 15th century, to the Plaza Santa Ana, which is bordered by the cathedral and surrounded by an array of museums, Old Town Vegueta is steeped in the roots of Gran Canaria. When evening descends, head to Vegueta to sample tapas and experience the community of Las Palmas as the city comes out and comes alive over food and drink as it has done for centuries.

DINE AT DÉJATE LLEVAR In the tiny town of Tejeda, high above Gran Canaria, the last thing you’d expect is a menu of delicious Thai soups prepared by—wait for it—a Greek chef, but that’s what you’ll find at “Let Me Take You.” In addition to traditional Spanish favorites at this out-ofthe-way surprise, Greek, French and Asian

SEE PICO DE LAS NIEVES The highest peak in all of Gran Canaria has views that are staggering from every angle. Die-hard cyclists find making the uphill trek by bike a welcome challenge, but it requires endurance. For mere lookyloos, though, a quick drive to the top is sufficiently satisfying. —D.W.

beaches and, depending on where you land, its unspoiled appeal. In the heart of it all is a real gem known as Sant Martí d’Empúries; stumbling upon it is akin to stepping into wonderland. Perched above the beaches, the medieval town is home to a gaggle of restaurants and small boutiques, along with the church of Sant Martí, dating back to the 16th century. Combined with a stay at nearby luxury hotel and spa Hostal Empúries, this charming town offers the ultimate escape. 9. CENTRE POMPIDOU MÁLAGA The only offshoot of Paris’ famed Centre Pompidou opened outside the City of Lights, the Centre Pompidou Málaga is a celebration of contemporary art wrapped in an eye-popping jeweled box, designed by Alain Sebban. Not only is it the perfect complement to Málaga’s

already esteemed catalogue of museums, it’s a winning way to add culture to an afternoon spent lolling about the Costa del Sol. centrepompidou-malaga.eu 10. SKYDIVING IN GIRONA For the best view of Girona and Costa Brava, nothing beats seeing it from 13,000 feet! Skydive Empuriabrava, located just a short drive from the beach, is where active thrillseekers (or reluctant ones like myself) can book a tandem jump irrespective of any previous training. Nervous? Don’t be. Not only does Empuriabrava have a standout reputation in the world of skydiving, the team regularly participates in worldwide competitions, and the facilities (considered top-notch, for the record) have provided the stage for a number of European and world skydiving titles. skydiveempuriabrava.com —D.W. MARCH 30, 2016

Brighton Wheel

Travel By

NUMBERS

Brighton

48 HOURS BY THE SEA

ust under an hour from London by train, the seaside enclaves of Brighton and Hove are a world apart from bustling London. The pace is slower, the scale of things more manageable, the locals friendly and, perhaps most importantly, a more provincial side of life in Great Britain comes into view. It’s the sort of place where you can slow down and truly experience life as real Britons do.

SCRUFF

Since adding its new Venture feature, Scruff is changing the gay travel game. It’s now easier than ever to connect with locals and fellow travelers, get the scoop on local parties and book an Airbnb.

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DAY 1 11:00 A.M. Land at Heathrow via Air New Zealand, whose daily direct flights from L.A. to London are one of air travel’s best kept secrets. With a premium economy class that excels business class options on other airlines, and innovative offerings like the life-altering Economy Sky Couch (perfect for couples), Air New Zealand is without question one of the best options for making the long-haul. airnewzealand.com 2:00 P.M. Board a train at London’s Victoria Station for the hour-long train ride (from the airport, take the Heathrow Express to Paddington, transferring from there to

Victoria). Or you could simply book a car and travel directly from Heathrow to Brighton; you’ll find yourself in the heart of the seaside village in little over an hour and a quarter, depending on traffic. 3:30 P.M. Once in town, accommodation options are plentiful. For authenticity, check-in at the stylish Blanch House. Just steps away from the beach, it’s a boutique hotel set in a charming Regency townhouse, on a residential street, right near the hub of Brighton’s bohemian life. Rooms commingle modern conveniences with classic furnishings to create elegantly comfortable spaces. (Request the Perrier Jouët room for a real treat.) For a more ultra-modern experience, book yourself at My Hotel Brighton. blanchhouse.co.uk; myhotels. com/brighton 4:00 P.M. Take a seaside stroll. No matter the temperature, a walk along the sea in Brighton is a brilliant way to get to know the city. On a pleasant day, you might even walk all the way down to Hove. Along the way, stop by Brighton Pier, where kitschy arcade games abound and

a spin on the Brighton Wheel ensures the best views around. 7:30 P.M. There’s no scarcity of fish-and-chips joints in Brighton, though recent years have seen a wave of exceptional eateries take up residence. Case in point, Kooks, a self-described “boho bistro” that might seem as at home on SoHo’s Old Compton Street as it does in its Brighton hipster outpost. The menu is diverse—offering everything from a darn good cheeseburger to rosemary salted pork cubes and Mascarpone mash—and the setting is decidedly urban chic. Also of note is the cocktail menu, which is superlative and a rare find in these parts. Needless to say, Kooks is a favorite of local creative types. kooksrestaurant.com 10:00 P.M. It’s time to mingle with the locals. Brighton is well-known for its thriving gay scene and plentiful gay bars, including Charles Street and Legends, which peers out over the beach and offers a hotel of its own. Pop by one or a few of these hot spots after dinner, as most are clustered within a few short blocks. charles-street.com; legendsbrighton.com

Miami

5 WAYS TO DO IT LIKE A LOCAL 1. STAY AT THE GAYTHERING. Miami Beach’s only gay-owned resort, Hotel Gaythering, is a chic and fun place to stay while you play, and its Men’s Self Spa is an oasis equipped with a Jacuzzi, dry cedar sauna, aroma steam room and mud lounge. In a city known for loud nightclubs and glitz, the Lounge at the Gaythering is the antithesis of what you’d expect in South Beach: no velvet ropes, no guest lists, and Friday “HoPPY HoUR” is not to be missed. A good-looking crowd of locals mix with explorers, kicking off the weekend on the perfect note. gaythering.com 2. EXPLORE WYNWOOD. Next to the Design District and carrying on the tropical SoHo vibe, explore the funky and hip neighborhood of Wynwood. It’s home to the

DAY 2 9:00 A.M. Get a jump on the day with breakfast at Kemptown’s quirky Cup of Joe cafe. As the name suggests, patrons can grab a fortifying cup of java and enjoy selections from a small but broad range of breakfast/brunch items, ranging from a traditional English breakfast or eggs benedict to French classics like a Croque Monsieur. After breakfast, stick around and wander around the attached Kemp Town Trading Post, where stalls contain all sorts of locally sourced and vintage items, including names like Hermès and Gucci. 10:00 A.M. Since the late 18th century, shoppers have descended upon Kemptown and, more than three centuries on, the village’s enduring appeal remains. You’ll find no chain or department stores, but instead independent wine stores, quirky antique shops, galleries and vintage clothing boutiques overflowing with booty for the most zealous shoppers. Time permitting, venture over to the Lanes and North Laine, where you’ll encounter more unique shops along with an outpost of famed chocolate shop and café Choccywoccydoodah!

astonishing Wynwood Walls, an open-air park dedicated to cuttingedge contemporary urban murals. The District also houses over 70 art galleries, retail stores, antique shops and eclectic bars. 3. DO IT FOR FREE. Every Friday from 6-9 p.m., the Wolfsonian offers free admission and free tours of its permanent collections and temporary exhibitions. Its collections comprise approximately 180,000 objects from the 1850s to the 1950s— the height of the Industrial Revolution through the end of WWII—in a variety of media, including furniture, glass works, ceramics, rare books, paintings and textiles. wolfsonian.org 4. SHOP FOR NON-ESSENTIALS. Capturing the essence of South Beach

NOON Built as the summer pleasure palace for King George IV, the Royal Pavilion is a spectacular example of the Georgian era’s excesses. Unlike any other royal residence in Great Britain, here weaves the exoticism of Indian and Chinese design and architecture with stylistically defining elements of the Regency era to grandiose effect. On warm, sunny days the lawn of the Royal Pavilion is quite the gathering spot. 2:30 P.M. When in Britain, do as Britons do. Step back to a more genteel time by booking afternoon tea at Metrodeco. This Art Deco-themed 1930s tea salon serves sweet and savory treats with vintage style, as well as wine, cocktails, artisan gins and local beer. metro-deco.com 7:00 P.M. Steps away from the sea sits the Hotel du Vin Bistro, a bright, vibrant Parisianthemed boîte serving a menu inspired by French homestyle cooking. Think classic French faves like cassoulet and French onion soup along with a few unforgettable signature British dishes like Sunday roast, and you’ve got the gist of this little gem. hotelduvin.com

style, Lincoln Road is an open-air pedestrian mall filled with tourists and locals alike. Its vibrant mix of outdoor cafes, restaurants, high-end boutiques and mainstream stores is set against a beautiful backdrop of towering palm trees. Stop by BASE— the flagship of a chain of hip lifestyle stores stocking fashion, books and other great gifts—before heading next door to Books & Books Miami Beach, if for no other reason than its vast magazine collection, which includes international and locally published periodicals. baseworld.com; booksandbooks.com 5. PEOPLE WATCH AT BALANS. Pull up a chair in the heart of Lincoln Drive for magnificent people-watching. Whether you’re seeking a double espresso or a full meal, Balans

is known for its modern menu, great cocktails and friendly atmosphere. balansrestaurants.com 6. ORDER THE LEMON RICOTTA PANCAKES. Icebox Café is a fashionable option for the health-conscious. A celebration of life at every meal, this New American eatery offers freshly made seasonal cuisine with fantastic desserts and a full bar. iceboxcafe.com 7. PARTAKE IN THE CAFÉ CUBANO CRAZE. Get your fill of Cuban culture at a traditional coffee counter. Ask for a café con leche—steamed milk with a shot of Cuban coffee—or a cortadito—a tiny shot of super sweet Cuban coffee—to channel your inner Little Havana local. —A.K.

9:00 P.M. Next door to the Hotel du Vin Bistro sits the clubby Pub du Vin, a traditional British pub with an upscale twist. Stop by this inviting pub for a tankard of its legendary ales on tap among its wellheeled locals. hotelduvin.com 10:00 P.M. The ultra-sleek bar at My Hotel’s Merkaba is well-known for its artisan cocktails, making it the perfect stop for a civilized after-dinner libation. The vibe is also notably upscale for Brighton, as management has instituted a “smart casual” dress code. merkababrighton.com MIDNIGHT Close out your visit to Brighton with a final twirl through the gay nightlife hot spots you missed on previous nights. Perhaps hit the Basement Club below Legends, or nip into the venerable Bulldog for a pint. As you might expect, weekends are busiest, but every now and then you’ll encounter a particularly raucous crowd of party people on weekdays, particularly during summer months. legendsbrighton.com; bulldogbrighton.com —D.W.

Metrodeco

HOTEL TONIGHT

Score last-minute discounts for the rooms hotels aren’t able to fill, allowing for spontaneity and making it easy to cope with the unexpected, like missing the last ferry to Fire Island. —A.K.

MARCH 30, 2016

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BEIJING BY YONGNIAN GUI, IPANEMA BY F11PHOTO | DREAMSTIME.COM

By Mikey Rox

COURTESY OF DÃ&#x2030;COR AID

DESTINATION

Introduce the spirit of your recent (or would-be) travels into your home style with these decorating ideas spanning the seven seas.

BRA Z I L YOU DON’T HAVE to look much further than the fancy-free ambience of Brazil’s most famous beaches, Ipanema and Copacabana, for stretch-of-sand inspiration that embodies the laidback lifestyle of sun, surf and sunga swimwear. “Bring a Brazilian vibe into your home with crisp white walls, black-and-white tiled floors and bright pops of color mixed throughout,” says Sean Juneja, co-founder of the California-based interior design service Décor Aid. But don’t hesitate to take a few liberties, either. Draw elements from Rio de Janeiro’s enthusiastic seaside Carnival celebration that features a kaleidoscope of personalities and persuasions, dignified by overthe-top costumes, intricate headdresses and more feathers than a flock of South American flamingos. For an authentic vibe, Juneja recommends an architectural wood-and-leather armchair by Rioborn designer Sergio Rodrigues, available at Espasso (8687 Melrose Ave., espasso.com), spruced up with a pillow from CB2 (8000 Sunset Blvd., WeHo, cb2.com).

Clockwise from top left: A postcard view of Brazil’s Ipanema; the showroom of L.A.’s Adesso, 169 N. La Brea Ave., adessoimports.com; the Cuiaba Armchair, available at Espasso; CB2’s collage pillow, $20

T H E C O LO R PA L E T T E :

BEIJING BY YONGNIAN GUI, IPANEMA BY F11PHOTO | DREAMSTIME.COM

COURTESY OF DÉCOR AID

CH IN A FENG SHUI, the Chinese philosophy of harmonizing people with their surroundings, dates back to 4000 BC. But in the 1970s, Thomas Lin Yun introduced Black Sect Esoteric Buddhism to the West, which serves as the basis for our modern interpretation of the design concept. “To invoke the spirit of China, look for glamorous, ornate items in red, black and gold, like this lacquered console and ornate pagoda screen from Gump’s San Francisco,” Juneja says. “When instilling a hint of China into your surroundings, remember one thing: Purity is key,” adds Kirk Nix, founder of L.A.’s KNA Design. “Keep everything relevant and purposeful. Nothing superfluous. Fine antiques are available on 1stdibs, but you don’t need the budget of an emperor. Give Pier 1 Imports and Wayfair a look. I’ve seen a few things I wouldn’t think twice about recommending for a client.”

From left: A feng shui’d interior by Décor Aid; Native Trails’ Kohani sink in brushed nickel; Ming lantern embroidered pillow and stone sitting Buddha, available at Pier1; a Bejing temple MARCH 30, 2016

F R ENCH COUN T RYSID E IF YOU DAYDREAM of whimsical, lazy days spent breathing in the scent of fresh lavender and sipping straight-from-the-cellar vintages on the rolling knolls of Colmar and Loumarin—but don’t have the budget to make it your full-time job—it’s easy to bring that countryside charm to your own backyard. Juneja recommends the Provence tablecloth by WilliamsSonoma for a touch of timeless elegance in your outdoor dining area. “Think beautiful, relaxed and rustic,” he says. “Look for saturated yellows, small floral prints and pastels. Fleur-de-lis patterns are iconic French.” If you prefer your wine and cheese served indoors, opt for a French country dining set from Pier 1 or an antique and tempered trestle table with a hammered copper top.

Clockwise from top left: The Maurice TV tray set, available at Pier 1 Imports, $170; Provence tablecloth, available at Williams-Sonoma, $40; Chateau Kitchen Battery, available at La Maison Francaise Antiques, 8435 Melrose Ave.; the quaint town of Colmar

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STOCKHOM BY RYHOR BRUYEU | DREAMSTIME.COM

From left: Mika Dining Table, available at Dania, $600; Hemnes bed frame, available at IKEA, $200; the lights of Stockholm; a tufted leather and walnut armchair, available at Lief, 646 N. Almont Dr.; living room by IKEA

THE BIRTHPLACE OF some of our favorite foreign delicacies—like lingonberry jam-drenched meatballs and cinemastaple candy fish—Sweden has been a benchmark for functional minimalism since Scandinavian design emerged in the 1950s. Characterized by clean lines, light woods and open shelving, build-it-yourself bed-and-bookcase behemoth IKEA sets the standard for the aesthetic while other retailers, like Electrolux and Orrefors, have managed to make a name for themselves, too. “To combat the long winter days and to make the most of the long summer ones, Swedish style depends on bright and airy colors. Think soft white, lemon yellow and the lightest blue-gray,” says L.A.-based interior designer Lindsay Pennington of Lindsay Pennington Interiors. “When we think of modern Swedish style, we think of spaces that carry minimal pattern and clutter and that are designed to reflect the austerity of the surrounding landscape. It’s impossible to think of Swedish style without incorporating painted furniture—a chalky white Gustavian bench in an entryway, for example—and lots of clean lines.”

COLMAR BY STEVANZZ | DREAMSTIME.COM

SW ED EN

M OR OCCO IMBUE THE LUXURIOUS lifestyle of a North African prince with flowing jewel-tone fabrics draped over velvety lounge-inspired sofas and chaises; exquisite mosaics of Moorish symbols; octagonal tables; pottery that marries Islamic, French and Spanish influences; and ornate metal lighting inlaid with multicolored glass. Rugs, textiles and an abundance of deep, rich tints used liberally can be exceptionally provocative and reminiscent of this magnificent country steeped in tradition. “Embrace the opulent colors and patterns of Morocco with vibrant graphic throw pillows and saturated hues on the walls,” says Juneja. Accessorize with exotic accents like a leather pouf and brightly colored lanterns. Once the design is down pat, complete your Pacific-meets-Mediterranean oasis with a signature tea-service setup. “Any one of us that have scoured the streets of Marrakesh knows that tea is the common bond all purveyors offer their new beholden customers and utilize as a sort of warm welcome,” says Nix. “The sheer ceremony of serving and pouring the tea evokes an experience that seldom of us get to enjoy.”

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STOCKHOM BY RYHOR BRUYEU | DREAMSTIME.COM

COLMAR BY STEVANZZ | DREAMSTIME.COM

Clockwise from top left: Tiled columns in Marrakesh; Mosaik Moroccan Interiors, 7378 Beverly Blvd.; Tuscany Round Mirror by Native Trails; Moroccan-style vases; metallic leather pouf, $500, from Serena & Lily, 8422 Melrose Ave.; Moroccan Lantern, $40, available at Pier 1

DESTINATION

MARCH 30, 2016

Island Hopping 51 Reasons to Hit Up Hawai’i This Summer

By Stephan Horbelt

or Angelenos, no ‘quick trip to paradise’ is more feasible or economical than a jaunt to the Hawaiian Islands. Equally comforting and cosmopolitan, Hawaii is one of the world’s few destinations where breathtaking landscapes aren’t just Instagram opps but settings for high adventure. Every piece of land in this archipelago offers elements of the perfect getaway, and each island has its own distinct personality, which means planning your trek—whether a newbie or Pacific-hopping regular—can be overwhelming. But whether you’re craving a slowed-down, weeklong stay on your favorite isle or find yourself up for the islandhopping grand tour, these 51 ‘Hawaii must-dos’ make for the vacation of a lifetime.

O’ahu 1. GREET THE DAY WITH SOME SWEAT

Take in the sunrise (and sweat out those Mai Tais) atop Diamondhead crater after a hike that’s about as challenging as your weekend Runyon trek. It’s a great way to keep your trainer happy while on vacation, and the photo opps once you’re at the summit are the cherry on top.

2. THROW DOWN THE PLASTIC

Find every luxe label you’ve come to know and love (nearly 350 stores) inside the Ala Moana Center, in addition to local Hawaiian lines, touristy souvenir spots and a food court offering more than 80 options for shopping fuel. alamoanacenter.com

3. LEARN TO SURF

Waikiki, with its gentle waves and no crazy undertow, is a great spot to pick up one of Hawai’i’s ancient sports, and there’s no shortage of veteran surfers along the tourist-flooded beach willing to teach you with a couple days’ worth of lessons. 52

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4. BAR HOP IN DOWNTOWN HONOLULU

Partake in the neighborhood’s happy hour options by hopping from one craft cocktail house to the next. On your radar should be the opened-this-year Bar Leather Apron—known for its robust whiskey offerings—and Christian Self’s speakeasy-themed Bevy, which offers a tapas menu alongside locally inspired concoctions. barleatherapron.com; bevybar.com

5. BE FREE ON THE OCEAN

Sure, you could sit for hours on postcard-perfect Lanikai, one of the state’s most scenic beaches, but you could also grab a kayak and head to the nearby twin islands (Mokumanu and Mokulua), both of which are noted bird sanctuaries, just under a mile away.

6. TRY TO FIND AMY

Schumer, that is, who will be on the island of O’ahu this summer shooting a new action-adventure comedy about a mother-daughter vacation gone awry.

9 7. WATCH A SURFING COMPETITION

14. REMEMBER AMERICAN HISTORY

The best surfers in the world find their way to the North Shore, whether for the Vans Triple Crown of Surfing (kinda like the sport’s Super Bowl, held in November/December) or the ultimate big-wave event, The Quiksilver in Memory of Eddie, which never has a set date and has only been held a handful of times. Keep in mind that on competition days, traffic to the North Shore can be crazy.

Spend a day exploring the last standing battleship from World War II, docked in Pearl Harbor. The Battleship Missouri Memorial is a testament to America’s military power, commemorating the war’s end. ussmissouri.org

15. DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY

Opened last summer, Scarlet is the latest offering to Honolulu’s gay nightlife gods, meant for those seeking out a club experience rather than dive bar drinks. Thanks to co-owner Traver Rains (of Heatherette fame), the club sees more than its fair share of mainland drag queens popping by for a performance or two. scarlethonolulu.com

8. PARTY WITH THE LOCALS

Post-sunset, the up-and-coming neighborhood of Kaka’ako really comes to life, a nine-city-block section of Honolulu that in the past years has seen a revitalization similar to DTLA. It’s home to street artists, chefs, mixologists, designers and creative types of all threads, but the big draw is the monthly Night Market (third Saturdays). Peruse racks of clothing (like from Project Runway alum Ari South), purchase street art, grab a bite and a beer and take in local talent. honolulunightmarket.com

9. SCARF DOWN A SHAVE ICE

Every local has a favorite shave ice purveyor (it’s Pidgin, which means it’s not “shaved ice”), but we say opt for Matsumoto’s on the island’s North Shore (the island’s oldest). Use the time you’ll spend in line to decide on which of the more than 30 flavors you’re gonna go with. matsumotoshaveice.com

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16. STEP ABOARD A SEAPLANE

First-timers can get familiar with their immediate surroundings on a seaplane tour of the island. You’ll take off and land in Keehi Lagoon (not far from Waikiki), and your pilot will narrate a tour over historical and cultural sites. islandseaplane.com

17. MINGLE ON THE BEACH

Queen’s Surf may not be the world’s most exciting (or biggest) gay beach, but many appreciate that it sits away from the hotel crowds of other Waikiki spots. Plus, after a day of sunning, you’re mere steps away from a Mai Tai at popular gay bar Hula’s. hulas.com

10. TOUR THE SETS OF YOUR FAVORITE FILMS

Kualoa Ranch is a popular tourist destination for film and TV buffs who want to relive on-screen moments. Sets for Godzilla, Jurassic Park and Lost are among its most notorious sites, but if you want to explore the inner island’s rougher terrain, you can hop on a horse or ATV. kualoa.com

11. EXPERIENCE ARCHITECTURAL PARADISE

Perhaps the state’s most architecturally significant home, Shangri La is the 1937 estate of tobacco heiress Doris Duke. Built from the ground up with Duke’s captivation by Middle Eastern culture in command, it houses an impressive collection of Islamic art, meaning you’ll travel through India, Morocco and Iran with every step. shangrilahawaii.org

12. UNCOVER HAWAIIAN CULTURE

Both the Honolulu Museum of Art and the Spalding House (a separate, spacious campus) are resources for remarkable art viewing in Hawai’i, located in Honolulu’s Arts District. Check out 18th century European pieces and important Asian holdings at the former, contemporary works at the latter. honolulumuseum.org

13. GET LOST IN A BOTANICAL MAZE

What started out as a fruit stand in the ‘50s has become an island “experience” since 1989. The Dole Plantation offers a 20-minute train tour through its working pineapple plantation, the world’s largest maze and, of course, Dole Whip. dole-plantation.com MARCH 30, 2016

23 19 Hawai’i Island 18. ZIP THROUGH THE RAINFOREST

Head to Kohala Zipline for a day of adventure with five suspension bridges, nine ziplines and a rappel (and a fun offroad drive on a six-wheel Pinzgauer). You’ll reach speeds up to 45mph as you fly from one tree to another, above taro fields and the rainforest’s natural fauna. kohalazipline.com

19. MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS

Get up close and personal with manta rays on a nighttime snorkel in the waters of Kona. Just off shore after sunset, high-powered flashlights will attract the feeding creatures to you. Ask your hotel concierge to recommend a tour.

20. GET THE MUNCHIES

Hawaii Gov. David Ige signed a law allowing dispensaries to sell pot to registered patients, and some say Hawaii has the highest marijuana usage rate in the nation. Post-toking, malasadas (Portuguese donuts) are a must.

21. FIND YOUR ‘CENTER’ ON THE WATER

The Fairmont Orchid Hotel, located on the Kohala Coast, offers floating yoga (“flo-yo”) classes atop a stand-up paddleboard. It’s the perfect way for yoga practitioners to mix things up while on the island. fairmont.com

22. CRUSH SOME WAVES, MEET SOME FISH

Book a tour through Captain Zodiac, the island’s best rafting and underwater tour company, for a send-off from Honokohau Marina that’ll have you rafting the Kona coast to Kealakekua Bay, an underwater state park, site of the Captain Cook Monument and the island’s go-to snorkeling preserve. captainzodiac.com

23. LOOK UP TO THE NIGHT SKY

Nothing is more humbling than a jet-black blanket of stars, and you’ll likely see more than you’ve ever seen before while stargazing onHawai’i Island, one of the world’s most renowned astrological sites. Hilo, on the Big Island’s northeast side, may be the island’s largest city, but don’t miss out on the lush beauty of the area surrounding it, home to waterfalls, historic landmarks, sea caves and fruit farms.

25. WALK THROUGH SAND OF MANY COLORS

The Big Island is a haven of many hues and has jawdroppingly gorgeous white (Hapuna), black (Punalu’u) and even a green sand beach (Papkolea). The last is the most difficult to reach, but all three are must-see spots.

26. WORSHIP AT THE VOLCANO

Nowhere on Earth can you observe the raw power of an active volcano as you will from Hawai’i Volcanoes National Park. Tour the expansive park by day, taking in gorgeous 54

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23, 25, 26: HAWAII TOURISM AUTHORITY (HTA)

24. TOUR TROPICAL WATERFALLS

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hardened lava fields, and once the sun goes down, sit down for a nice dinner at The Rim, a recently refurbished spot overlooking the rim of Kilauea caldera and a billowing Halema’uma’u Crater. hawaiivolcanohouse.com

27. DRINK FRUITY CONCOCTIONS

Commonly regarded as Kona’s premier spot for a great meal and ‘talking story,’ Huggo’s is a casual spot where you can never go wrong with the catch of the day. The attached hBAR now serves up handcrafted cocktails and small plates, perfect for watching the sunset with a from-scratch Mai Tai in hand. huggos.com

Kaua’i 28. DO SOMETHING DIRTY

Hop on a two-seater Mud Wasp for a scenic exploration of the dusty trails (muddy during wet seasons) surrounding Koloa’s old sugar mill. Along the way you’ll come across a few famous Hollywood sets, some of the island’s most adorable wildlife (pigs!) and a spooky tunnel formerly used for sugar cane transport. kauaiatv.com

29. GRAB A BITE IN HANALEI

It’s hard to imagine a more laid-back town than Hanalei, where the daily forecast is ‘friendly’ whether rain or shine, and ‘island time’ is a way of life. Park in the center of town, shop a little and grab a bite to eat, with options ranging from local plate lunches to burgers, shave ice and sushi.

30. SUNBATHE LIKE A QUEEN

Queen’s Bath, located on the North Shore, is a natural pool located on a “lava bench.” Don’t get in unless you’re visiting in the summer, but it’s a gorgeous sight all year round.

31. EXPERIENCE THE FORBIDDEN ISLAND

23, 25, 26: HAWAII TOURISM AUTHORITY (HTA)

Niihau, 20 miles off the Kauai coast and home to only 130 Hawaiians, is called “The Forbidden Island” because it’s off-limits to all but invited guests, but you can check it out by helicopter. Just prepare to shell out a small fortune to join the short list of those who have crossed Niihau off their list.

32. BREAK IN YOUR HIKING BOOTS

Famous the world over as both rigorous and rewarding, the Kalalau Trail is one of the world’s must-hike locales, an 11-mile trek (each way) hugging the breathtaking, dramatic cliffs of the Na Pali Coast.

33. HAVE LUNCH IN FRONT OF A WATERFALL

Set up a hike of the multicolored Waimea Canyon through Kayak Kauai. Your knowledgable guide will drive you up to the trail head (thanks, four-wheel drive!), escort you through the canyon trail and lead you to a peaceful spot where you can enjoy lunch—and a chilly dip if you’re so inclined—in front of the gorgeous Waipo’o Falls. kayakkauai.com

34. ENJOY A SUNSET IN THE SAND

The Travel Channel recently voted Poipu Beach as America’s best, and while we don’t necessarily agree— especially if you’re seeking a secluded sandy spot—there’s no better place to plop down your towel, bury your feet in the sand and take in a gorgeous Hawaii sunset.

35. VIEW THE ISLAND FROM ABOVE

Seeing as how 80% of Kauai is remote and uninhabited, nothing compares to taking in the island’s entirety by air. Safari Helicopters offers daily tours, squeezing views of the Na Pali coast, Waimea and Wai’ale’ale Crater—its 3,000-foot, waterfall-etched walls are the spiritual center of ancient Hawaii—into an hour-long flight. safarihelicopters.com

36. COOL OFF WITH FROSTY FRUIT

Don’t even think about hitting the island’s North Shore without stopping at Banana Joe’s in Kilauea, a ramshackle fruit stand famous for its fresh produce and fruit frosties. bananajoekauai.com

37. STOCK UP LIKE A LOCAL

If you’ll have kitchen access on your extended trip, shop for the essentials at Ishihara Market in Waimea, a great place to pick up fresh poke, produce, local beef and fresh fish, at prices lower than what you’ll find elsewhere on-island.

Lana’i 38. TRAVEL ON TWO WHEELS

With its almost total lack of motorized traffic, there’s no better way to see the island of Lana’i than on a bicycle. Step into Lana’i Cycles to rent a bike or setup a three-hour downhill tour of the island’s east side. lanaicycles.com

39. RELAX IN PARADISE

After being closed for five months, the Four Seasons Resort Lana’i at Manele Bay has re-opened. It’s a luxe resort sitting atop a red lava cliff, overlooking Hulopoe Bay and bordering a marine preserve—basically exactly what you have in mind when you picture a perfect island retreat. fourseasons.com

Moloka’i 40. MAKE MULE FRIENDS

The island’s most famed attraction for O’ahu day trippers is the three-mile trail to Kalaupapa Peninsula, which you could do by foot, but why would you? Embark on a mule ride along the island’s sheer cliffs to the peaceful, isolated park below, where a guide will treat you to the history of the one-time leper colony. MARCH 30, 2016

Maui 41. SEE THE WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL SUNRISE

the way in sits on private land. Still, those aching to see for themselves this crescent-shaped spot (which cuts into the Ka’uiki Head cinder cone, hence the rust-colored sand) will find their way.

Before your body adjusts to the time zone, wake up before dawn to take in one of the world’s most gorgeous sunrises. From atop the Haleakala summit you’ll be above the clouds, and you’ll understand why Mark Twain called it “the sublimest spectacle I ever witnessed.”

48. GET LOST ON 70 ACRES

42. BE A PANIOLO FOR A DAY

Tucked into Makawao, home of the island’s paniolos (cowboys) on the slopes of Haleakala volcano, Pi’iholo Ranch offers two- or three-hour private rides of its wide-open ranges, and you’ll enjoy a picnic lunch at the Baldwin family’s private cabin before making the trek back. piiholo.com

43. WANDER THROUGH PA’IA

This charming town in the middle of Maui’s North Shore is home to a few golden beaches, but your time is better spent casually ambling through town for a bite, a drink or a shopping binge. Step into Hana Ranch Provisions for dinner, where you can rest assured that the day’s ingredients were picked mere hours before you sat down. hanaranchprovisions.com

49. TASTE REAL ISLAND-STYLE BBQ

You’ll find Braddah Huts, a food truck offering authentic plate lunches and fish tacos, parked right in its owner’s front yard along the 360 in Hana. Don’t even think about driving past it.

50. DEVOUR AN ALL-NATURAL POPSICLE

44. LIVE THE LUXE LIFE

The Andaz Maui strays from the traditional in just about every sense. The zen-like property is sleek and modern as opposed to conventional old-school Hawaiian, and if you’re lucky enough to stay here, inquire about its rooms that walk right onto the pool. Even non-guests should check out Ka’ana Kitchen for a cocktail demo (of some of the island’s most inventive cocktails) or a chef’s table interactive dinner, where you’ll indulge in unique dishes right at the counter. maui.andaz.hyatt.com

45. DRIVE THE ROAD TO HANA

You’ll want to start on one of the world’s most notorious drives early in the morning, as you’re looking at an entire day of winding roads and multiple Instagram opps. (Hidden waterfalls, black sand beaches and lava tubes? Yes, please!) If you’re heading back the same day, don’t stop driving ‘til you reach East Maui’s most popular attraction, O’he’o Gulch, aka the Seven Scared Pools. While there aren’t actually seven pools, this series of falls and pools really are a site to be seen.

“The first resort on the island to greet the morning sun,” Travaasa Hana is widely considered one of Hawaii’s most breathtaking spots. It’s so large that you’ll rely on golf carts to lug you around the grounds, but you’ll have access to everything you need—an outdoor pool, spa treatments, fine dining, cocktails and a list of available activities that includes snorkeling, lei-making and net-fishing. (If you catch something large enough, you can have it fried up for dinner.) travaasa.com

You’ll find Angela and her popsicle cart along the short stretch of highway in Hana. Sourced on-island with allnatural juices and ingredients, it’s the only $5 popsicle that’s actually worth five bucks.

51. DRIVE THE ROAD FROM HANA

Why drive the Road to Hana again (albeit in the opposite direction) when there’s unseen territory to explore? The road along the coastline from Hana into the island’s upcountry is quite different terrain—more akin to rolling prairies and hills than the rainforest behind you—and you can disregard claims that it’s too dangerous a trek.

You’ll sample fruits you’ve never even heard of (like an original avocado plant only found here) at Ono Farms in Kipahulu, a family-owned organic farm that grows everything from coffee to tropical fruit. Beware the durian. onofarms.com

47. SKIRT THE RULES FOR A BEAUTIFUL VISTA

The red sand beach on Kaihalulu Bay is a beautiful, hidden spot, but don’t expect the locals to guide you there, as 56

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48: TRAVAASA HANA

46. TRY FIVE KINDS OF BANANAS

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THE WORLD OF BILLY MASTERS From left: Hillary Clinton, Matthew Wilkas, Caitlyn Jenner, Eddie Redmayne, Faye Dunaway

THE GAYEST WAY TO GET TO ICELAND, A NEW INSTALLMENT OF ‘FAYEWATCH’ & WHY GUS KENWORTHY IS ONE LUCKY GUY

Go GAY to Iceland A few years ago, I spent a weekend in Reykjavik, Iceland, and found it delightful. Now there’s a very good reason to go: cheap fares courtesy of WOW Air, one of those strange, discount airlines that pop up all over Europe. This one is based in Iceland and is promoting great deals for flights between the States and Iceland. WOW has three-letter names for each of its planes: MOM, DAD, SIS, BRO, SON, KID. And now there’s a new plane heading to Iceland: GAY. What a surprise, that plane is flying nonstop from San Francisco. The company, which has always supported the LGBT community, didn’t choose the name randomly. The CEO says, “One of our pilots came to me and suggested this name, and I thought it was a cool idea so we went ahead with it.” Caitlyn is Fair Game If Hillary put her foot in her mouth, Caitlyn Jenner somehow fit in an entire hoof. I guess I wasn’t surprised when Jenner jumped on the Hillary-bashing bandwagon. “If we’re unfortunate enough to get Hillary as our next president, we need her on our side. Although she won’t be—she couldn’t care less about women.” I’m curious, is there a single Republican candidate who cares about women? To most Republicans, Caitlyn is simply Bruce in a dress. 58

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Jenner then waxed rhapsodically about Ted Cruz, perhaps she knows something we don’t. She said if he becomes president, she’d like to be his trans ambassador, so now she’s making up jobs! She may need one, as the season premiere of I Am Cait brought in abysmal ratings. The network thinks she has alienated her LGBT audience. One of the people having problems is Jennifer Finney Boylan, a cast member and consultant. When Jenner talked longingly about Cruz, Boylan hit her with a newspaper. Later, Boylan said, “In terms of equality and dignity, the difference between Republicans and Democrats are night and day. I don’t really get why you’d vote against your own civil rights.” We’ll see how long Boylan lasts—or, for that matter, the show. Serving Danishes Oscar-winner Eddie Redmayne spent the day before the Academy Awards visiting the LGBT Center’s Youth Center in Hollywood and met with some 70 queer, homeless youth and fed them breakfast—courtesy of Focus Features, the distributor of The Danish Girl. (I hope they served danishes.) He also filmed a moving PSA urging people to donate and help save the lives of at-risk youth. You check out all the great work The Center does on its website, lalgbtcenter.org. When Words Fail While I was in Miami attending the Winter Party benefit for the LGBTQ Task Force (the benefit raised over $1 million), Zac Efron was also in town filming the big-screen version of Baywatch (he’s playing the David Charvet role). If you thought he was hot before ... well, words just fail me. Happily, the photos on my site are worth a thousand words—at least! One Hot Tomato Brace yourself, it’s time for another installment of Fayewatch. As I already told you, Miss Dunaway emerged from her crypt for the Vanity Fair Oscars Viewing Party. Why she’s never at the Oscars themselves is one of those unsolved mysteries, but maybe this bon mot will explain that. Days after the Academy Awards, a friend saw her in the produce section of a

popular WeHo supermarket. This is no surprise— celebrities need groceries, too. Our spy noticed that La Dunaway was wearing what he described as “plastic surgical gloves” (on my site, I’ll show you why Faye has her hands covered up). Then he noticed she was talking to the tomatoes. Yes, talking! He tried to eavesdrop, but she gave him a dirty look and he scuttled off. One can only imagine what the tomatoes said back! Ask Billy: Don’t Hold Out! Our question comes from a friend who saw me on Facebook, but I’m gonna answer it like any other query. Steve from L.A. asks, “Are you just being good or are you keeping those nude pics of Gus Kenworthy’s boyfriend Matthew Wilkas for a later date?” First, let’s identify the players. Kenworthy is a 24-year-old Olympic skier. His previous boyfriend was photographer Robin MacDonald (age 30). His current boyfriend is 38-year-old actor Wilkas (Gayby). And on New Year’s Eve, Kenworthy was heavily flirting with Anderson Cooper, who I believe is in his mid-70s. (OK, he’s only 48, and looks damn good for any age.) Since I point out ages when someone’s dating a much younger fella, it’s only fair to do the same when it’s reversed. Rumor has it the nudes of Wilkas were snagged from his Grindr account, which is now deactivated since he’s no longer single. There are a lot of photos. They are most definitely him. They are most definitely impressive. And they can most definitely be seen on my site. As a bonus penis, we present former “One Direction” member Zayn Malik’s member. From the pics we’ve acquired, the one direction kinda curves to the left. Allegedly the photos stem from when he was dating Perrie Edwards last year. How they ended up in my inbox is unknown. It’s time to end yet another column. If you’ve got a question for me, send it to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Caitlyn gets a job in Cruz’s closet ... er, cabinet! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

PHOTO CREDIT TK

Hillary Steps In It During an interview at Nancy Reagan’s funeral, Hillary Clinton applauded the former first lady’s “low-key advocacy for HIV/AIDS awareness by starting a national conversation.” This statement was vastly different from some of the hatred being spewed on Facebook where the Reagans were (justly) chastised for dragging their feet when it came to addressing AIDS. Once informed of her enormous faux pas, Hillary issued a statement: “While the Reagans were strong advocates for stem cell research and finding a cure for Alzheimer’s disease, I misspoke about their record on HIV and AIDS. For that, I’m sorry.” Ironic that a former first lady said “I’m sorry”—the very words AIDS activists had been waiting decades for Nancy to say.

QUEERSAY

BY GOSSIP GAY

SHEVS | DREAMSTIME.COM

ASHES TO ASHES, DUST TO WTF? B

elieve you me, don’t nobody love Santa Monica Boulevard more than yours truly, especially when it comes to the drunk debauchery that is Sunday Funday. It’s the one day each week that I give myself permission to let my metaphoric hair down and fly my freak flag, all the while charging $14 drinks on my Amex and stuffing strippers’ jocks with $5 greenbacks. (Hey! Don’t judge my stimulating of the local economy!) That said, my love for our queer strip of bars will never fade—but I can guarantee it will not follow me into death. That’s apparently not the case for a group of local bohemian hippie gays I encountered last week. One of my more artsy friends dragged me—despite protestation—east of La Brea and into the ground-zero hipster zone that is Silver Lake for a “totally casual” house party. (By “casual” he meant all the gays would be in flannel tops and flip-flops with socks.) Of course I made the best out of a bad situation and stumbled up to the open bar. (Oh, how I shuddered upon realizing the top-shelf vodka was Smirnoff, but I digress.) After getting a little tipsy, I scanned the room for the most twink-ish collective and spied a gaggle of goth-meets-skater-meetsKurt Cobain-grunge t yp e s that—with a lit tle waxing and fake-and-baking— could totally pass for Andrew Christian underwear models. The group (s t o n e d , o f course) was discussing the passing of a recent friend who had lost his battle with aggressive cancer. While that might sound like a Debbie Downer party convo, the group was in all-out hysterics, partially fueled by their recent huffing and puffing but mostly induced by the plan they were hatching. These boys, like me, were die-hard devotees to their boulevard’s Sunday Funday ritual, and it was the wish of their recently departed friend to have them drive down Santa Monica, flip a U-turn at San Vicente and release an ever-sosmall, dime-sized handful of his ashes into the air. While many of us dream of being scattered about the Mediterranean seascape or adorning the gold-leafed mantel of a Hollywood Hills mansion, this dude wanted to see a small portion of himself windswept across the rainbow sidewalk on the gayest street corner in L.A. Intrigued and yet horrified, not only did I get the details but I invited myself to third-wheel on the ride-along to do the dastardly deed next month! Because while I’ve no desire to have myself spread out in a WeHo gutter, either in this life or the next, who am I to dishonor a passed man’s wishes? May this gay grunge rocker, gone too soon, rest in peace—and pieces alongside San Vicente! For more Gossip Gay, go to FrontiersMedia.com. Drop me your dirty little secrets at QueerSay@hotmail.com, and don’t worry, I never give up my deep throat! MARCH 30, 2016

PALM SPRINGS

Michael Costello

WANDER THE DESERT

Palm Springs sizzles this spring with 3 upcoming festivals, offering the Coachella Valley’s best in music, food and sun-drenched fun By Mike Ciriaco

imply put, Palms Springs was made for partying. Back in the heyday of the Hollywood studio system, stars were contracted to stay within a two-hour’s drive of Tinseltown, so the sunny hamlet that would evolve into the Palm Springs we know today was their loophole. Far enough to escape the drama of L.A. but close enough not to break the rules, nearly a century later this desert town is still an oasis for overstressed Angelenos looking to blow off steam. This month there are three great reasons to hit up Palm Springs for fun in the sun.

PALM SPRINGS LIFE FESTIVAL March 20 - April 24 palmspringslifefestival.com CATHEDRAL CITY LGBT DAYS March 25-27 discovercathedralcity.com THE DINAH March 30 - April 3 thedinah.com

GET YOUR LIFE

A celebration of the finer things in life, the inaugural Palm Springs Life Festival lauds the best of music, art, wine, cuisine and fashion throughout the Coachella Valley. This high-brow affair kicks off March 20 when opera stars Plácido Domingo and Renée Fleming team up to perform some of the genre’s greatest arias and duets at Rancho Mirage’s Agua Client Casino. Classical music continues into the next week with performances by Midori, Sarah Chang, Jean-Yves Thibaudet and many more. The following week features a salute to fashion with runway shows from Monique Lhuillier, Michael Costello and Grayse by Kelly and Marie Gray. Then the festival hops from catwalk to cuisine, starting with the James Beard Four-Course Luncheon on April 8, followed by a series of food and wine tastings at over 40 venues. Who knew sophistication tasted so sweet? CELEBRATE EASTER THE GAY WAY

Halfway between Palm Springs and Rancho Mirage sits Cathedral City, named after its nearby desert rock formations resembling the spires of gothic church structures. Knowing that bit of trivia, it seems fitting that Cathedral City LGBT Days runs the weekend of Easter, as the vernal holiday theme forms the spine of the festival’s events. Following Friday’s kick-off activities, which include a performance of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and a “Battle of the Bars” 60

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bartender competition, drag’s grande dame Coco Peru will preside over an Easter Bonnet Champagne Brunch hosted by local queen Bella Da Ball. Then, once the sun goes down, things really heat up over at CCBC, the largest clothing optional gay men’s resort in SoCal, when the property hosts its Mr. Easter Basket Contest. The weekend climaxes with a Sunday pool party at CCBC featuring free mimosas, followed by an official closing party at Barracks Bar. A WEEKEND FOR THE FAIRER SEX

It’s the ladies’ time to shine with Club Skirt’s Dinah Shore Weekend, aka The Dinah; spanning five days in Palm Springs, it’s a female analogue to White Party. The sapphic shindig commences Wednesday night with an official pre-party at the Palm Springs Hilton, followed up the next day with an opening party at Zelda’s Nightclub. Things start to heat up Friday afternoon with the “Hot as L” pool party at the Hilton. Presented by Showtime, this clam bake features appearances by The L Word’s Elizabeth Keener and Clementine Ford, The Real L Word’s Tracy Ryerson and a live performance by Hunter Valentine. Once the suns goes down, towel off and put on your best ivory threads for The Dinah’s White Party at the Palm Springs Convention Center. The world’s largest Friday night party for women will feature performances by Elle King and Madonna’s DJ, Mary Mac. On Saturday, nurse your hangover at the Hilton’s Cabana Pool Party, the largest lesbian pool party on the planet, and jumpstart your adrenaline with “Battle of the DJs” at noon. That evening, laugh your ass off with a comedy show starring Lea Delaria before dancing it back on at The Hollywood Party, soundtrack provided by Samantha Ronson. The Dinah rounds out Sunday with its “Wet & Wild Pool Party,” featuring live performances by Madison Paige and DJ Taryn Manning (perhaps better known as Orange is the New Black’s Pennsatucky). The curtain drops later that evening with a closing party at Zelda’s.

Sat. | March 19 BEN VEREEN Annenberg Theatre

Winner of Tonys, Emmys, Drama Desks and Golden Globes, this singer/ dancer/actor never fails to entertain. psmuseum.org Sun. | March 20 TOMMI ROSE AND THE PLAYGIRLS Toucan’s Tiki Lounge

The ultra-popular weekly drag revue has shows at 8 and 10 p.m. toucanstikilounge.com

Wed. | March 30 THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR Camelot Theatre

Sat. | March 26 JASON STUART Purple Room

Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway star in director Norman Jewison’s 1968 stylish heist drama, screeni n g a t 8 p . m . a s p a r t of th e Classic Hollywood Film Series. camelottheatres.com

The openly gay comic, sometimes called the “Gay Don Rickles,” is joined by comedienne Gloria Bigelow. purpleroompalmsprings.com Sun. | March 27 SUNDAY T DANCE Hunters

DJ Chub Jim spins dance tunes at the weekly dance party, starting at 2 p.m. hunterspalmsprings.com

Fri. | April 1 LILY TOMLIN McCallum Theatre

The actress-comedian has lots of stories and jokes to tell about her life and career, starting at 8 p.m. mccallumtheatre.com

ART Annenberg Theatre March 25 - April 3 psmuseum.org

WHAT CONSTITUTES ART? A MODERN ART COLLECTOR sparks that debate after he pays big money for a completely white canvas, leaving his friends aghast. The ensuing discussion offers some thought-provoking ideas and many laughs in Art, Coyote StageWorks’ new production opening Friday, March 25, for a five-week run at the Annenberg Theatre in the Palm Springs Art Museum. Playwright Yasmina Reza’s French-language comedy debuted in Paris in 1994 and was adapted to English by Christopher Hampton for its 1996 London opening, where it won the Olivier Award for best comedy. Art opened on Broadway in 1998 and went on to win the Tony Award for best play that year. Newsweek has said, “It’s an actor’s dream, a nonstop cross-fire of crackling language, serious issues of life and art expressed in outbursts that sound like Don Rickles with a degree from the Sorbonne. Brilliantly translated by Christopher Hampton, Art takes that yawny old bore, the play of ideas, and jolts it to life.” —James F. Mills

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