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@FTCrimson @FTCrimson crimson@fit.edu
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T h e O f f i c i a l S t u d e n t A p r i l F oo l s E d i t i o n
Issue 6
SGA candidate penalized for excessive campaigning Doug schoeller \\ PRO-napper A f lurry of yellow f lags was thrown in room P133 last week for an illegal action from junior, Pete Kressen. Kressen reportedly made a plug for his campaign by muttering the words “Pete for Senate seat” in the middle of a fake sneeze. The penalty is due to the SGA rule of not being allowed to campaign after March 16, three days before voting was declared to be open. “It’s important that candidates know they’re free to voice their take on the election except if they endorse themselves, others specifically, have negative reviews of other can-
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Three raccoons accused of breaking into cars
Tower of Terror relocated to Crawford elevators
Markeema Crawford \\ s ta f f w r i t e r
Ashley letendre \\ Chicken Tender
Campus security have been in high pursuit of three raccoons accused of breaking into several cars parked at Harris Village this week. “The security guys just laughed at me at first,” Eric Stoner, a junior at Florida Tech, said. “Then they proceeded to ask me what types of drugs I had been on tonight and yeah Photos by Google Images I smoke hella weed, but I know what I saw and I know I locked Raccoon raid in Harris Village vehicle. all my doors.” According to research, racOne student said she was “I walked dow n stairs coons are known for having not surprised to see a raccoon and there it was just sitting in long sharp claws making it sitting in the driver seat of her my car chewing my gum, my easier to pry open and manip- car chewing the Bubblicious Bubblicious bubble gum! And ulate objects with their bare bubble gum she had left in her hands. car the night before. 4
Most recently, Crawford and its elevators have always had stories known about them. Whether students have gotten stuck in it, elevators have shut down or someone rushes in the elevator right as the doors are closing and you’re already late to class. Some pretty annoying events. But those problems are no longer as the Tower of Terror ride in A naheim, California that closed down due to a Marvel takeover last year, has now been relocated to the Crawford building.
Campus security and students left scrambling
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UFO spotted at Melbourne International Airport
Photo by Jared Campos
Micah Oltmann \\ Conspiracy theorist This week, prior to the annual air and space show hosted by Melbourne International Airport, a UFO and unidentified individual were spotted parking their aircraft and looking for what is believed to be a maintenance crew. Jared Campos, a student pilot at Florida Tech, who happened to be coming in late that night, described a brief encounter with the individual. “The guy asked me to take him to my leader. I assumed he meant the air traffic control, so I gave him the tower number,” Jared recalled. “He looked really weird,
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like it looked like a small scrawny person, but his skin was hella pale and wrinkly, it’s head was malformed and the eyes were hu ge a nd je t black.” Shortly after the encounter Jared stated the UFO started up and f loated over him before vanishing. When asked about the event, the Melbourne International airport had no comment, instead urging us to contact the Federal Aviation Administration for further details. This sighting comes only a couple months after alien lights were reported over Orlando on New Years Day. UFO experts from ufosightingsdaily.com claim that the lights over Orlando were similar to the famous Phoenix Lights, but had no comment on this most recent sighting. If you have any info regarding the individual or UFO call FAA Special Agent Fox Mulder at (202)-555-9355.
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World peace found out by internationally viral FitForum argument Mary had a little lamb \\ Rap music Goddess It started with two and then doubled to four. From there, it went to the whole school, got into the news and spread across the country. Two Florida Tech students recently got into a global warming argument via FitForum, also known as hitting “reply all” to voice your opinion
with regards to a mass email sent out. They got their friends involved and then the whole school picked whether they were team “Lean Mean Green Machines” or “C02 You Later”. “I just think this whole global warming thing is one big government hoax,” Scott Travis said. “Kind of like cancer. Or
The Mafia.” More and more people got involved as students, faculty and staff continued to hit “reply all,” so that the entire school knew about the argument.
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Botanical Gardens has new resident Eleanor Matters \\ T r y h a r d Paying apparently $1600 a month in rent with very strict housing regulations, a large ogre, going by the name of Shrek, has moved into Florida Tech’s Botanical Gardens. “We have a strict policy on what lives in our Botanical Gardens,” Facilities Operations said in an email announcement. “However, we have been presented a special case and the university is working
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together with the new resident to make an exception work for everyone involved.” Students have been warned against interacting with the new resident and a spokesperson for the security office assured students that Shrek was under the same regulations. “I have no idea why the university would think this is a good idea,” Charles Xander,
a graduate student in engineering management, said. “I’ve been here for six years and they’ve never allowed somuch as an alligator to make its home here.” Xander recently released a survey to gauge the student’s response to the new-comer.
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Page S4 SGA Campaign Poster Just Word Scramble from Excessive Typos
S SATIRELIFE 2
ISSUE 6
MARCH 27
RA’s Demoted to Being Regular Students Kevin Voodoosingh \\ Contributing writer Earlier last week, resident assistants (RAs) were stripped of their entire budget due to Florida Tech spending cuts and must now resort to living like the peasants that are regular enrolling students. Resident assistants must now learn things like actually budgeting their food, having to deal with roommate problems, and other standard proletariat-student procedures. “I have to search for free food all over the place now in order to make it,” said an RA in Roberts Hall. “What kind of life is that?” The R A Foundation had been founded to help these deprived RAs settle in as regular enrolling students. “Our message is to spread
awareness of this recently-impoverished population,” said the founder of the RA Foundation, Max Towelspierre. Their local advertisements have spread from print to on television, where their message is assisted by Sarah McLachlan. “For just 6 dollars a day, you too can help an RA afford breakfast at Florida Tech. For a year’s membership with the RA Foundation, you will receive a complimentary tote bag with the words ‘I Saved an RA’,” says the advertisement. If you would like to help a struggling RA in a different way, RAs will be taking donations at the Clemente Center in exchange for massages.
Area student runs for entire senate Doug schoeller \\ PRO-napper In a plot twist as good as any good plot twist, area student Derrick Britton has campaigned to claim the position of the entire SGA Senate. “When I’m saying I’m running for senate, I don’t mean for a senator position, I mean I myself will single-handedly take on the role of the senate,” Britton said. At first, reporters were misunderstood and thought he was simply running to be
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a senator. He was patient to explain his unconventional campaign tactic, then pointed to his campaign poster on a wall close by featuring Chancellor Palpatine and the subtitle “I am the Senate.” “I was inspired to run for the entire senate when I saw another student enroll in the ballot for both vice president and president. I mean I just did that, but with more positions,” Britton said. “Like if he won both president and vice president the entire government
would be me and him. And it would just be the two of us in a face off, but I would win every argument. Because I am the senate. Anything decision defying me would be treason, then.” Britton understood however the Galactic Empire convention that if someone were to claim the entire title of the Senate, he/she would have to be arrested and duel Samuel L. Jackson in a lightsaber battle. “Worth it,” Britton said.
President McCay sneezes gold Doug schoeller & Mary Had a little lamb \\ PRO-napper & Rap Music Godess
During a faculty town hall on March 23, spectators claim that President of Florida Institute of Technology, T. Dwayne McKay, sneezed 24k yellow gold. “I’ve heard of ideas that are gold, but this is just ridiculous,” said a staff member who chose to remain anonymous. “I’m not sur prised he sneezes such an expensive material,” said a university secretar y. “Ever y thing he speaks is as enriching as the metal itself. I’ve never heard him say anything inappropriate before in my life.” After throwing away his tissue from trying to clear out a minor sinus infection in a nearby trash can, faculty members fought to keep it. About twenty minutes into questioning during the town hall, President McCay coughed and three board of trustee members turned to him to say “bless you.”
“It’s the custom around here,” said a trustee member. “Three faculty members are on the sneezing shift, two are on daily compliment hours and everybody’s on the ‘smile jauntily as you greet him’ board. “I’m on the daily compliment shift at the moment,” said the vice president of finances. “It’s a living, you know?” At press time, facult y members have subconsciously increased their stature when around the president, manifesting the idea that they are in fact always on their toes around him.
RIMSON The Florida Tech
@FTCrimson @FTCrimson crimson@fit.edu
The Official Student-Run Newspaper•since
Issue 6
Our Mission: Live, discover and report the truth.
1967
Spring
TUESDAY, MARCH 27, 2018
We the students of Florida Tech… Ashley letendre \\ staff writer
The team spent a week at NASA Wallops Flight Facility integrating and testing their work with NASA engineers. Photo by Lindsay Isaac
student-designed payload launches with NASA Lindsay isaac \\ Social media coordinator The launch, which took place at 6:51 a.m. on Sunday, was originally scheduled for March 22 but continued to be postponed due to weather and expected rough seas.
Continued on page 5
After the three-day delay, the rocket carried four university student projects—a new wire insulation material, propulsion systems for small spacecraft, a deployable boom and solar blanket for small satellites and a small reentry spacecraft—to an altitude of
107 miles, where those projects descended by parachute into the Atlantic Ocean. “I’m speechless...” Nicholas Cushing, the mechanical engineering alumnus on Florida Tech’s team, said after the launch.
Elections, opinions, students; three subjects that captured the attention of many in the Florida Tech community during the recent Student Government Association campaign week. Students have been more active in expressing their opinions about candidate campaigning efforts. The Student Government’s purpose, according to the organization's webpage, “is an organization run by the students for the students”. To examine the concerns that the general student population shares, a short poll was conducted. A total of one hundred students participated in the survey. When asked whether they believed SGA would do a good job representing the student’s voice on campus, approxi-
mately thirty-seven percent of students answered “no” and forty-six percent answered “maybe”. “I don’t feel like I have a very strong voice because I’m not involved with student government,”, Caleigh Covell, a forensic psychology student, said. The junior explained she knew of others who felt as if their voices were heard because they were more involved with the organization. Dr. Wanfa Zhang, associate professor of political science is a leading researcher on a project which he said looks to find how college student knowledge of international politics may influence their attitudes and perceptions of the government.
Continued on page 3
Student living on Campus?
Florida Tech’s Formula SAE Team races toward international competition
You may be eligible for a deposit refund
Lindsay isaac \\ Social media coordinator Austin Taft, a junior studying aerospace engineering at Florida Tech, lights up when he talks about Formula SAE—a team of students who design, manufacture, test and race a formula style car in The Society of Automotive Engineers (SAE)’s collegiate series. These Formula SAE competitions are held in various locations around the world, Austin Taft, the team’s but Florida Tech’s team com- driver. Photo by Lindsay Isaac petes in Michigan each May— the oldest running and largest competition put on globally for Florida Tech’s team is made FSAE. up of students from different Designing and manufacturing the vehicles for these majors and grade levels, but competitions takes hundreds, is led by a senior design team if not thousands, of manhours. Continued on page 10
Page 2 Join the Moo-vement
INDEX
Photo by Kiayna O'Neal
The campus services office where students can get a deposit refund form.
Kiayna o'neal \\ Contributing writer Students living on Florida Tech’s campus for at least two years are eligible to receive a full refund of their two-hundred dollar housing deposit, but only if they fill-out and return a specific form. According to the assistant director of housing, Feri Rassoul, the housing depart-
Page 6 Botanical Fest held in Downtown Melbourne
STUDENT LIFE PAGES 2 - 7
Page 7 “Study Days” will be greatly missed
ment tells students about the refundable deposit when they complete their housing application for student housing, and it is up to students to submit the form for the refund to be issued. The 2017/2018 Housing Terms and Conditions, which can be found in the “Forms
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Girls just want to have fun change the world
CAMPUS LIFE PAGES 8 - 11
and Documents” tab under student housing on the university website explain the stipulations. Section 3, C explains that students “must request their housing deposit
Continued on page 4
Page 12 Women’s lacrosse faces a top-5 match up
SPORTS PAGE 12
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MARCH 27
JoinA pairthe Moo-vement of cows steal the show at Florida Tech’s Market Day
David Thompson \\ staff writer The most recent Market Day at Florida Tech had a couple of unexpected and fluffy guests join in on the fresh food festivities. Their names were Bear and Ranger, two Scottish Highland cows. A WFIT employee, Jane Clary, owns the cows and came up with the idea to bring them in for Market Day. She works in membership and outreach for WFIT and she said this was a good opportunity to show how friendly cows are and learn more about what WFIT is promoting at their station. “Public radio is actually about education too,” Clary said. “You listen and you can learn stuff and have fun by listening to the music because we have a mix.” Clary said that the cows are actually the pets of her daughter, biomedical engineering major, Rachel Clary. Jane Clary said that they own an acre of land for where the cows can roam. “We’ve pastured off a little bit of our land for the cows,” Clary said. “And we will keep them forever.” The long-haired cows were
adopted them from Port St. Lucie and from Orlando. Clary said that Bear was adopted from a petting farm in Orlando that was happy to get rid of it. “The worker said, ‘This is too crazy of a cow. I can not have this thing he will never be friendly to people’,” Clary said. “There were no other cows at the petting farm, so it was by itself in a strange place.” Most students walking by didn’t realize that the six6month-old Bear and seven7month-old Ranger were even cows at all according to Clary. Fellow farm animal owner and biomedical engineering major, Alexzandriea Van Hoekelen, said she heard about the cows from a friend. “We were super excited to come by and pet them,” Van Hoekelen said. “I have eight goats and 14 chickens of my own.” The Pennsylvanian native said that she would like to see more interesting animals visit Florida Tech. “I think that it is awesome that they have them on campus because they usually just have dogs and I’m allergic to dogs,” Van Hoekelen said. “So I think that it's a nice mix that they bring cows to campus.”
WFIT employee, Jane Clary, pets the brownhaired cow named Bear. Photo by David Thompson
Biomedical engineering major, Alexzandriea Van Hoekelen, feeds the white-haired cow named Ranger. Photo by David Thompson
The Scottish Highland cow named "Ranger" munches on some grass. Photo by David Thompson
EDITORIAL STAFF Mary Kozaitis — Editor - in - Chief Eleanor Mathers — Managing Editor Doug Scheoller — Copy Editor Audrey Gangloff — Copy Editor Abeer Janakat — Design Editor Lindsey Isaac — Social Media Coordinator
BUSINESS STAFF Sean Moroney — Distributing Manager
WRITER STAFF David Thompson — Sports staff Lexi Bettermann — Sports staff Jeff Libby — Staff Kiayna O'Neal — Staff Noah Bland — Staff Ashley Letendre — Staff Annika Sundquist — Staff Markeema Crawford — Staff
ADVISER Dr. Ted Petersen — Communication Professor
The Florida Tech Crimson is a student-run newspaper published every other week during the academic year, with the exception of breaks and holidays, by the students of Florida Institute of Technology. General circulation of the paper is approximately 1,000 copies per issue. The Florida Tech Crimson is a service for Florida Tech students, staff, faculty, alumni and the general public. Each individual member of our audience may take one issue for free. The Florida Tech Crimson strives to inform the public and to use its editorial sections as open forums for debate on campus issues. The Florida Tech Crimson welcomes input and opinion pieces submitted by students, staff, faculty and alumni of Florida Institute of Technology. Published letters may be edited without notification for length, libel, good taste or other reasons at the discretion of our staff. The opinions expressed herein The Florida Tech Crimson and our website do not necessarily represent the student body, staff, faculty, alumni or Florida Institute of Technology or its partners. Images and stories submitted to The Florida Tech Crimson and their derivative works become the intellectual property of The Florida Tech Crimson. Depicted works of art and/or product may be subject to copyright to their respective owners. Advertisers may contact The Florida Tech Crimson for sizes and pricing at crimson@fit.edu. All contents copyright The Florida Tech Crimson unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. No part of The Florida Tech Crimson may be reprinted without the written consent of the editor-in-chief. The Florida Tech Crimson is always looking for new writers, columnists, photographers and designers. Contact us at crimson@fit.edu for more information.
STUDENTLIFE 3 ISSUE 6
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We the students of Florida Tech… Continued from front “With a smaller student body, the SGA is understandably less inf luential,” Zhang said. The other reason he explains, may be because the university is “fundamentally a technology university”. “Usually we see that the students who major in social sciences and arts, such as political science and law, are more interested in such politics-related activities and have stronger desire to put their textbook knowledge into practice,” Zhang said. In the survey students were also asked to fill in a blank describing what they wanted fixed on campus. Sophomore, Hannah Blackburn,, suggested a list of things, such as the addition of more times to the panther bay shuttle schedule, more bike racks,and more. In a follow-up interview, she also asked for more power to be given to non-big six organizations, better mailroom hours and more organized poster posting areas. Another student posted
on Facebook about problems he’s been having with his ID card and how frustrated he is with it. The astrophysics sophomore, Arnold Yanga, said,
Panther Dining Hall and this is his only meal plan at the moment. This issue adds to the concerns of other students who are experiencing this issue.
“With a smaller student body, the SGA is understandably less influential." “Mine mysteriously decided to stop working on Monday. Went to Harris Commons and they said I didn't have any holds on my account or anything. They printed me out a new card that also doesn't work.” So far, he has been having problems trying to eat at the
In light of these recent events, candidates for the SGA elections have been trying to address similar concerns students have been experiencing. The candidates have been providing long term and shortterm solutions for the given problems. Although some new
drama within the candidates has emerged with the FIT-forum emailing list. At one point last week, some students were found reply-all with SGA candidates on this emailing list, causing every other student on the list to receive each email. Some students, like junior chemical engineering major, Ayo Adebisi, expressed annoyance about the emails and have been unsubscribing from the email list as a result. “I think it’s kind of pointless and also kind of funny,” Adebisi said, referring to the recent conversations on fitforum. One item on his list of things to be changed by SGA is the taking away of study days. “If they could bring that back, I’d be really, really happy.” Adebisi said. Other ideas expressed in the survey by students included items they believed should be addressed not only by SGA, but by the university. A few of these issues included: better parking, more bike racks, more
school spirit, transparency within administration, more accountability, updated dorms, a 24-hour library, more food options, more transportation options, better allocation of funding, renovated athletics center and Clemente and better communication between the students, SGA and administration. The vast majority of students who took part in the survey were the sophomores and juniors. Almost 29 percent were sophomores, 26 percent were juniors and 22 percent were seniors. The survey exemplified what students point of view was on FIT and SGA. With the elections being completed on March 26, students were be able to voice such concerns toward the new set of leaders of SGA.
Survey Screeshots by Ashley Letendre
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Student living on Campus? You may be eligible for a deposit refund Continued from front refund at Campus Services”. Section 5, Q then explains that the form must be completed to receive a refund. The same terms and conditions call the form “Housing Deposit Checkout”, however, the form that is currently located in Campus Services Office that students are asked to submit is called “Housing Deposit Refund Form”. Effective June 2014, students must complete a twoyear residency to be eligible for a housing deposit refund. Junior Tina DePietro says she submitted her deposit refund form at the end of Spring 2017, her sophomore year, and claims she did not receive the refund until September 2017. The SGA Vice Presidential Candidate says she was informed by a friend that she could get the $200 deposit back. The same notion is shared by other students who were asked about their knowledge of the housing refund. If the student account is clear, meaning the student does not owe funds to the university and no damage was done to the room, according to Rassoul, the refund process should take 6-8 weeks. However, if a student’s account has
not been cleared, the process could take longer. Rassoul also maintains, the housing department has no part in the processing of the refund, but the official form should be turned in to their office. When asked the number of forms received last school year the assistant director gave no comment. She contends, “there is enough information out there for students” to know about the refund, and that she “personally [has] told students to submit their forms prior to their graduation”, sending them the form through email in their final semester. Though, when asked if the housing department had considered sending email blasts to students, reminding them about the refund, Rassoul says “[they] haven’t done it, but will take it into consideration”. Florida Tech’s “fitforum”, an email-based list that student organizations, faculty members and university offices use to reach the Florida Tech community. Even without a subscription to this list, every Florida Tech student possesses a university email account the can be reached. Florida Tech alumnus,
Chad Schreiber claims that the only time he heard about the refund was from a friend who had recently received his own. His advice to students is “to spread the word” about the deposit form. The Hou si ng Deposit Refund Form can be found in the Campus Services Office in Harris Commons. For more information visit the student housing section of the university website.
The forms located on the wall directly to the right of the enterance of campus services. Photo by Kiayna O'Neal
Close-up of the Housing Deposit Refund Form.
Photo by Kiayna O'Neal
STUDENTLIFE 5 ISSUE 6
MARCH 27
student-designed payload launches with NASA Continued from front “Two years of hard work came to an end this morning,” he said. “It’s a wild thing to be able to say you’ve sent an experiment to space at age 22. The A Team really made some miracles happen.” Florida Tech’s A Team consisted of three members—Cushing, Brace White, an aerospace engineering master’s student, and Logan Giacco, an aerospace engineering alumnus who works as an Integration Engineer at Harris Corporation. The purpose of their project—called ARISE (Aerospace wire-Repair Intelligent System Experiment)—was to test the effectiveness of a wire repair method developed by NASA and Vencore in the microgravity created by the 15-minute rocket flight. White, Cushing and Giacco won funding for the experiment, which began as a Senior Design project, through the NASA Undergraduate Student Instrument Project Student Flight Research Opportunity program. Ac c ord i ng to Giac c o, the team’s project manager, the payload started out as a two-dimensional picture and was slowly built up through two major revisions. “It’s been an iterative process to figure out what doesn’t work, how to fix it and to how move on,” he said. “It’s been a lot of work over the past two years, and even though it has felt terrible at times, I think it’s all been worth it.” The team worked back and forth between the Harris Student Design Center and the Applied Research Lab located less than two miles from campus to finish the payload before the launch. They also spent eight days in January testing their payload functionality at the launch facility in Virginia.
Cushing, left, and Logan Giacco, right, working on the payload at the NASA Wallops Flight Facility. Photo by Lindsay Isaac
White and Cushing with the payload. Photo by Lindsay Isaac
A c c ord i ng to Giac c o, the largest task in the weeks leading up to the launch was ironing out hiccups with the electronics. “None of us are electrical engineers, so we had to figure it out as we went,” he said. But what the three felt they lacked in electrical engineering knowledge, they made up for in bowling prowess.
The team at the NASA Wallops Flight Facility in Virginia.
“We became the winningest team in FIT Bowling Club history last semester,” Cushing said. “Because every Wednesday night, we bowl. That’s been our stress-release.” White, Cushing and Giacco said they’ve come a long way and learned a lot through the project. “Overall, it’s been a frustrating but really great expe-
Photo by Lindsay Isaac
rience,” Giacco said. “This has been a special opportunity to be able to do something that’s so real.” According to Giacco, a lot of senior projects are just through the design cycle. “But ours had a real client, real deadlines and a real launch date,” he said. “We got to go to a NASA facility for a week and do integration and
testing work with NASA engineers, learn from what they were doing, learn from our mistakes...It’s been cool to be part of something that unique.” Cushing agreed. “I’m proud of us,” he said. “We were all super stoked to see this through, but we are stoked to be done with it and to move on, too.”
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Join the weekly Crimson meetings on Thursday nights at 6:30 p.m. in the newsroom (the back enterance of Grissom Hall) to snag a story and a slice of pizza.
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Botanical Fest held in Downtown Melbourne
Photos of the Downtown Melbourne Botanical Fest taken by Noora Alsahafi.
noora alsahafi \\ Contributing Writer Over 400 people came to Downtown Melbourne to celebrate the local Botanical Fest early this March, which was hosted by Melbourne Main Street organization. Jarin Eisenberg, executive director of Melbourne Main Street, said, “We put this event as part of revalidation effort to bring people Downtown Melbourne, but also as a fundraiser for Melbourne Main Street. “We just do it once a
year and people attend it from all over the state and they come in just for this one day to put on this festival.” Melbourne Main Street, is a non-profit organization that works to build public and private partnerships to revitalize Historic Downtown Melbourne. According to Melbourne Main Street website, their mission is to fuel economic growth by capitalizing on the commu-
nity is properties and giving specific attention to the physical, cultural and social identity of Downtown Melbourne. Cammie Donaldson, from Melbourne, volunteer in Florida native, said, “We have a great opportunity to talk to hundreds of people about you know ecological winds escaping and sustainability and how everybody can make a different by using native plants.” This is the second annual
Botanical Festival in Historic Downtown Melbourne, and it is held in the same time every year. Will Orser, salesman at nursery shop, from Eustis Florida, said, “We do have a shop but the nursery is wholesales only. It is not open to the public, it is like resale to other nursery and brokers. It was very good last year we sold out. We bring a lot here and probably this is our biggest show of the year.”
This event is about showcasing plant and garden vendors from different places are offering trees, plants and decorative items for patio. Denise Garcia, Tampa resident and owner of nursery shop, said, “We come here every year, we have people that follow us and sometimes they asked for certain types of plants, we usually bring more than 100 plants to the festival.”
STUDENTLIFE 7 ISSUE 6
MARCH 27
Can you lend me five dollars? “Study Days” will
be greatly missed
Gabriela A. González and Lisa Stewart \\ O u t r e a c h C o o r d i n at o r s , C A P S Na f i sa A h me d (2016) uploaded a viral video that uses a five dollar metaphor to explain consent. Ahmed’s video suggests the following: If… You're drunk at a party and someone takes five dollars from you without your permission...that's stealing. You ask your friend to hold your bag while you're in the bathroom and she takes five dollars without asking... that's stealing. Someone puts a gun to your head, even if you physically hand them the five dollars... that's still stealing. Your friend is short on cash, and the table next to you sees you lend your friend five dollars... they are not entitled to five dollars, too. If they take five dollars without your permission... that's stealing. You let someone borrow five dollars once... that doesn't mean they are entitled to it whenever they want. If they take it after you say no the second time... that's still stealing.
You can't prove that someone stole five dollars, but they did... it's still stealing. You take someone's money forcefully, or without explicit permission... that is stealing. Point blank. If you take someone's body forcefully, or without explicit permission... that is rape. Point blank. Consent is a voluntary agreement between participants to engage in any type of sexual activity. There are many ways to give consent and these are not limited to verbal expressions of sexual consent. Nonetheless, verbally agreeing or rejecting to different sexual practices can be helpful for sexual partners to establish and respect clear boundaries. What does consent look like? Consent is clear, coherent, willing, and ongoing. -Consent is clear! It is active, it is expressed through actions or words that create mut ua l ly u nder st a nd able permission, and it is never assumed. -Consent is coherent! Thus, people incapacitated by
drugs or alcohol cannot consent. -Consent is willing! It is never given under pressure, psychological manipulation, or physical threats. -Consent is ongoing! It must be granted every single… time. It should not be treated as a lifetime guarantee. For instance, having consensual sexual relations with someone in the past does not automatically give that person permission to engage in sexual activities in the future. Moreover, if a participant begins to feel uncomfortable and is no longer interested in engaging in sexual practices, consent can be retracted at any point during the sexual activity. Want to learn more? For more information on safe and consensual sexual practices, join us at our next outreach event #PanthersStaySafe. The event will be held on April 4th (7pm) at Evans Hall, Room 202. See you there!
Marquise Lewis \\ staff writer Fa ll 2018 w ill be t he start of the regularly schedu le d “st udy d ay s” bei ng taken away for Florida Tech. “The decision was made to allow students to have the right amount of contact hours with the class, so that students are getting as much out of the class as they need for the semester,” Heidi Edwards, an Associate Head of Florida Tech’s School of Arts and Communication and Communications Program Chair, said. Now the usual Thursdays and Fridays before the week of exams will be just like ever y other Thursday and Friday of the semester. “Not going to lie, students are going to be very upset. A lot of cramming,” Harry Brown, a senior mechanical engineering major for Florida Tech said. “Definitely glad this is my last semester here.” “I’m just not sure if it’s necessarily used the way that the university would like to see it used.” Edwards said. T he big ge s t que s t ion
being asked is if students wer e r e a l ly u si ng t ho se two days to actually study. “I never use t hem to study. I just use them as a break before exams start,” Brian Spurgeon, a sophomore accounting major, said. “I can’t say for all people though. Every person is different and ever y major is dif ferent.” Facult y had to decide between whether to take away fall break or study days. So they asked students and students voted to rather have fall break off than study days via a survey emailed to students. “Like the students who voted fall break off, I agree w ith them because it’s in the middle of all this mayhem,” Spurgeon said. Fall 2018 will be a bit of a change for those who have been here, but not so much for the incoming freshman and newcomers. Apr i l 25 a nd 26 w i l l be the final days of study days at Florida Tech. Final exams begin on April 30.
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MARCH 27
Speaker giving out awards at the Women Who Rock Luncheon.
Photo by Kat Redner
Girls just want to have fun change the world kat redner \\ Contributing Writer Over 160 women gathered in one room. White tablecloths, a trio of candles and a single yellow rose delicately decorated the tables in the banquet hall of the Crowne Plaza Melbourne-Oceanfront. Some of these women are leaders, mentors, mentees, mothers, sisters and business owners. They are “womenprenuers” according to weVENTURE, a women’s entrepreneur resource at Florida Institute of Technology. These women joined forces at the annual Women Who Rock Awards luncheon in celebration of Women’s History Month. “The Women Who Rock awards ceremony is more than just recognizing great leaders in our community. It’s a fantastic opportunity to showcase role models that others can aspire to—an event where we have the opportunity to elevate each other through meaningful networking opportunities and a gathering place to share our stories that will contribute to our collective impact on our local communities,” nominee, Beth Gitlin, said. “Girls Just Want To Have F u n” a nd ot her fem a le themed songs were playing in a banquet room as women
networked before getting in the buffet line. The opening remarks were given by Erica Lemp, executive director of weVENTURE, who took the stage at 11 a.m. Awards included the Excellence in Mentorship Award, Women in the Workplace Champion Award, Female Small Business Owner of the Year Award and the Zonta for Yellow Rose Award for Excellence in Community Service. L emp said, “It is our opportunity to help women, to celebrate women and to lift one another up, so we’re making sure that we are recognizing and applauding the efforts and the accomplishments of those in our community that make it a great place to live, work and play. Recognizing women is a small part of what we can do to ensure that we are continuing to lift them and to make sure that they are seen as equals in this community. And it’s about losing that gender gap. It’s about elevating one another. It’s about lifting one another up.” Positive comments radiated throughout the room. S a m a nt h a Por ter, a n employee at Florida Tech Online and volunteer of weVENTURE, said, “I think it’s great to give, especially young
“The Women Who Rock awards ceremony is more than just recognizing great leaders in our community. It’s a fantastic opportunity to showcase role models that others can aspire to..." women who maybe come and see positions of leadership or mentorship and give them those examples to go off of in their own life and provide some inspiration for them and show them what they can do.” Lemp quoted Jane Goodall to finish off the event, “What you do makes a difference and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” To Kenna Bell, a guest of the event, being in the presence of these womenprenuers made a difference. Bell said, “My favorite part of this event was getting to hear all of these inspiring stories, and it makes me want to take on the world.” Lemp said, “ To me, a woman who rocks is one who goes above and beyond to just do the next big thing—to see whatever their passion is—to pursue their passion relentlessly—to make the world a better place for the people around her.”
The audience at the annual Women Who Rock Awards Luncheon. Photo by Kat Redner
CAMPUSLIFE 9 ISSUE 6
MARCH 27
Dresses, drinks and dollars for a cause Archit Srivastava \\ s t a f f W r i t e r A sense of dedication, competition and liveliness could be felt in the guests across the Hartley room. With prizes ranging from a 40” smart TV to a Nintendo switch, ResLife’s 2018 Casino Night saw a massive turnout from the Florida Tech student community. Many jumped on the opportunity to dress dapper and try their luck on various casino style games, that included blackjack, texas hold ‘em, roulette and craps. “We want it to be a very special night for students by giving them an opportunity to dress up and experience what goes on in a casino,” Alexis Miller, one of the chief organizers and Resident Director of Harris village, said.
with the Second Harvest Food Bank of Central Florida aimed at collecting canned and other non-perishable food items. Donors were given a raff le ticket in exchange of every items they had donated for a chance to win the grand prize: a 40” smart TV, explained Warren Pittorie, organizer and Resident Director of Roberts Hall. The program included a short performance by Abigail Stevens and Matthew Salfer-Hobbs, president and vice-president respectively, of the swing dance club. A set of DJ’s were also present to keep the crowd entertained with music throughout the evening. Moreover, guests were served with a variety of “mocktails,” non-alcoholic drinks, and food
Freshmen betting big in a round of blackjack.
Photo by Archit Srivastava
“I think Casino Night is a great way to relax and unwind from school. It’s also a great way to escape from the regular sweatpants and sweatshirt outfit..." Starting with a bag of 50 chips, every individual had the opportunity to try their luck at these games, to earn as many chips as possible over the three hour period. The chipscould later be used to bid in an auction for prizes. Participants had the options to bid for: A Nintendo Switch, an Amazon Fire tablet, a package of $399 spa gift cards, a $50 Premier Oaks gift card, a Google home, two hammocks, a blow-up couch and more. It was a free event for all FIT students and was funded through the student housing fees redirected to Residence Life. For the past three years, ResLife has attached an underlying philanthropic aspect to the event. This year there was a collaboration of ResLife
bites by a dedicated team of resident assistants and volunteers. “I think Casino Night is a great way to relax and unwind from school. It’s also a great way to escape from the regular sweatpants and sweatshirt outfit and put on a nice dress and heels and look pretty. I also got to learn a new card game. Now I have more practice for when I go to Vegas,” Prerona Dewan, a biomedical engineering student and blackjack enthusiast, said. Acknowledging the fact that Casino night is a gambling event, Austin Anderson, the Community Director of Columbia Village, cleared up the confusion and said that ResLife does not promote gambling and it was purely a social event for fun.
Swing dance performers Abigail Stevens (left) and Matthew SalferHobbs (right). Photo by Archit Srivastava
s o p hy o l T I F invites you to
AN EVENING OF DISCUSSION 27thth March 13 8 PM Evans Library Rm 204 Learn argumentation of philosophy and how to debunk even the seemingly most solid of conclusion! For more information:
Like last year, Casino night included four games, Craps (pictured above), roulette, Blackjack and Texas Hold'em. Photo by ResLife
Eleanor Mathers President Lmathers2014@my.fit.edu
Matthew Bomberger Vice President Mbomberger2015@my.fit.edu
10 CAMPUSLIFE ISSUE 6
MARCH 27
Florida Tech’s Formula SAE Team Races Towards International Competition Continued from front
that presents their vehicle at the annual Northrop Grumman Senior Design Showcase in April. “The seniors that are on the project are the main workforce. They are assigned to a single subteam and do the heavier work,” said Taft, who will drive the car during this year’s Formula SAE completion. Taft is also lined up to be the chief engineer for next year’s senior design team. “The underclassmen, me right now, pick a subteam to support and typically are there to learn from the seniors and leads so they have a better start when they become seniors on
Student works on the car's chassis.
Photo by Lindsay Isaac
the project,” he said. This year’s senior design team, led by Hunter Lee, is broken into five subteams: Suspension, Chassis, Powertrain, Aerodynamics and Business. “Each subteam has a lead so the team lead and chief engineer can focus on managing the team and keeping things running smoothly,” Taft said. Suspension deals with the entire wheel assembly—tires, brakes, suspension arms that connect the wheels to the chas-
sis, etc. Chassis is what connects all the components of the car. “Think of the chassis like a complicated way to keep the wheels together, the driver secure and the engine secure,” Taft said. Power t ra i n i nclude s everything related to delivering power to the ground to make the car move, minus the wheels. “That means the engine, drive chain (like a bicycle), dif-
ferential (a magic cylinder that makes sure wheels can grip the ground properly) and axles (which connect the differential to the wheels),” Taft explained. “It also includes the exhaust.” Aerodynamics has to with how the air flows over the car. “It includes the front and rear wings, side pods and sometimes a tray under the car called a diffuser that makes every other component work even better,” Taft said. Finally, the business subteam sets up f undraising events and organizes sponsorship packages. This subteam also puts together the business model for the car. “You can’t forget that designing for a customer involves a whole lost of cost analysis,” Taft said, “so the
business subteam sets a tentative budget, helps schedule deadlines and makes sure the car design will satisfy the needs of the customer.” Taft said Florida Tech’s FSAE capstone team is meant to mimic a design team contacted by a fictional manufacturing company that wants to produce a car for the average weekend autocross driver. “This manufacturing company ‘reaches out’ to all participating universities, which is why it’s a competition,” he said. There are extensive rules for the vehicle to adhere in order to ensure safety and to put universities with differing budgets on a more equal playing field. “The main goal of the project is to give students the opportunity to take a project from concept to research, design, manufacturing and testing until they reach a final product,” Taft said. According to Taf t, the team’s overall goal this year is to manufacture a vehicle that weighs 480 pounds and places in the top 35 percent of the competition. “So far, all goals are looking pretty achievable,” he said. Taft said last year’s competition car wasn’t very well optimized, so the team is working to improve the tuning capabilities of the suspension—i.e. making it so a handful of suspension parameters can be adjusted in small increments to increase performance as needed. “Another improvement we made is that we switched to smaller wheels,” he said. “The idea is to decrease weight and improve vehicle acceleration.” According to Taft, this was a huge change because many other parts of the car were affected. “A nd last ly, but most importantly,” Taft said, “we’re aiming to increase the amount of testing time we get in the car. Testing is so crucial to having a car that performs well—and last year we got next to none of it.” He said the team hopes to get 10 days of testing before the competition but is realistically expecting to get around seven because of delays. “It’s the coolest thing ever to sit in a student-built project wearing a slick racing suit and helmet,” Taft said. “You put the pedal to the f loor as you come out of a turn, the acceleration smashes you back in your seat and you just let the smile rip from ear to ear,” he said. “I actually laughed out loud the first time.”
CAMPUSLIFE 11 ISSUE 6
MARCH 27
Students take litter problem into their own hands Eleanor Mathers \\ Managing editor On a beautiful day, a way to appreciate it would be to sit outside the library, take in the sun, and look out across the grass - the only problem is that hundreds of cigarette butts would litter your vision. Although there are cigarette receptacles in many places around campus, with three just behind the library, cigarette buds are still strewn around campus. Whether through neglect from students and visitors or nature causing receptacles to be overturned, the campus is beginning to notice a problem that resident assistants are ready to tackle. New PVC (polyvinyl chloride) cigarette receptacles are being put in the Residential Quad and resident assistants are attempting to get them in place all over the school. “The idea behind the new receptacles was to have a purpose built receptacle that would keep out the rain, reduce odor and hold more cigarettes at one time,” Zack Eichholz, the resident director for the Residential Quad, said. Along with a team of RAs, Eichholz was noticing unhappy students and guests due to the cigarettes around campus and decided they needed to be the first step in change. “The PVC pipe was cheap to purchase and ideal for the tasks of holding used cigarettes, as it is a very weather resistant material,” Eichholz said. “The PVC can also hold up against the dying heat of the butts.” Some student opinion about the trash hasn’t been
negative toward students directly and the PVC changes are making them happier about the change. “I think the trash is gross, but I don’t think it’s always the student’s fault,” Jabari Bush, a junior in biomedical engineering, said. “With the kind of weather we get, those flimsy plastic [receptacles] get knocked over easily.” Bush said that he has some friends who smoke and he pushes them to remember to not only put their cigarettes out - which he’s seen others forget - but throw them out properly. With the PVC installments, Bush said they’ve been more inclined to leave their butts there since they’re sure they won’t get blown away by wind or rain. “The PVC piping is very clever,” Mahalakshmi Sudharsan, a graduate student in engineering management, said. Sudharsan saaid using the PVC piping around campus would be a good idea because people would notice it more, “since it’s a pipe on a stake stuck in the ground with a sign right on it.” However, Sudharsan said she knows that signage isn’t always the problem. “I’ve seen students standing right next to a [receptacle] just flick them into the grass,” Sudharsan said. “I don’t think they’re used to having to be conscious of it.” The PVC piping will put the campus in the right direction, she said, because it means at least some part of the school is noticing a problem and doing something about it.
A discarded cigarette butt found behind the library. Photo by Eleanor Mathers
Some students currently dispose of cigarettes in plant soil. Photo by Eleanor Mathers
One of the new PVC cigarette disposal pipes in the Residential Quad.
Photo by Kevin Boodoosingh
12 SPORTS ISSUE 6
MARCH 27
Women’s lacrosse faces a top-5 match up
Lexi betterman \\ staff writer Florida Tech has risen one spot to No. 5 in the Intercollegiate Women's Lacrosse Coaches Association Division II Coaches Poll. This is the highest ranking ever received by the women's lacrosse team, who is 9-0 for the first time in program history. The Panthers received 526 total points in the coaches’ poll. Florida Southern (8-0) remains atop the national standings with 622 points and 22 first place votes. Adelphi (3-1) is second with 584 points, while Lindenwood (7-0) is third with 579 points and the three remaining first place votes. Le Moyne (4-0) rounds out the top-4 with 559 points. “We have put in a lot of time, effort and hard work into getting to where we are today,” Senior, Caroline Dunleav y, said. “While the ranking is still just a number, it is nice to be recognized for our success.” The Panthers hosted a top five match up at Panther Stadium on Saturday, on March 24 against the No. 1 ranked Florida Southern Moccasins.
Mary Gormley, number 2, during the macth up game against No. 1 Florida Southern. Photo by Florida Tech Athletics
Bayleigh Keator, a freshman, said she believed their team is ready to take the Moccasins this year. “We’ve always fallen to them, but this year we believe is finally our chance to top them. Playing your biggest rivals is always a hype but
super intense game,” said Keator. The March 24 contest marked the seventh matchup in the series history between the Panthers and Moccasins with Florida Southern winning the previous six meetings. The conference foes met
three times during the 2017 season with the Moccasins defeating the Panthers in all three matchups, including in the quarterfinal round of the NCAA Tournament. This contest was the first time the teams have faced off in a top-five matchup. It is also
the first top-five battle in Florida Tech program history. It was a white out game for Florida Tech. Fans were encouraged to wear white to the game and support the Panthers.
Varsity Training Center Weight Room gets an upgrade Justin Hassel \\ Contributing writer Florida Tech athletes are reaping the benefits of the new weight room adjustments. T he Va r sit y Tr a i n i ng Center weight room has stood strong these last couple of years for student athletes and their intense workouts. “Over the years the weight room has had a lot of wear and tear on it due to the intense workouts student athletes have all year round and also in the summertime,” Ethan Tyler, strength and conditioning coach at Florida Tech said. Coach Tyler has been a part of the Florida Tech program for several years now and helps with every sport. He manages the workouts for every sport team. The weight room was equipped with heavy rubber mats when it was first made. At the time this was the cheapest and quickest route for the weight room as it was being built. Overtime instructors real-
VTC floor after being stripped of its old carpet. Photo by Justin Hassel
Alex Brack's signature on the VTC floor. Photo by Justin Hassel
ized it wasn’t the smartest idea to do this at the rubber mates started to fall apart and get ripped up. The floor of the weight room having to be ripped up and having a new floor installed. So, they came to the conclusion that they would install a floor mat that would last longer. Instead of having several square like mats on the floor the new attire for the floor
is just one rubber roll out floor mat. “I love the new floor mat, it’s definitely safer,” Marcus Pettigrew, football player at Florida Tech said. “I’ve seen a lot of people get tripped up on the old floor model in the weight room.” The weight room has also been rearranged after the new f loor model being installed.
“With the weight room not being as big as other schools weight rooms, it was very important that we rearranged it be able to fit a lot of athletes in it at once, as some teams have to work out at the same times as others,” Carl Putman, strength and conditioning coach at Florida Tech said. As the weight room has changed, the history of the
original weight room remains in the Varsity Training Center weight room. Underneath the old floor mat in the weight room is a signature from former football player Alex Brack that passed away in 2014 in a car accident. His signature will remain under the new floor mat in the weight room in memory of his loss. “There’s been so many memories and friendships left in the weight room,” Former football player joseph Jackson, senior at Florida Tech said. With the new and improved floor mat and extra space in the weight room student athletes can work out and not have to worry about tripping over a floor mat and work more efficiently.
SATIRELIFE S ISSUE 6
SGA Candidate Penalized for Excessive Campaigning didates, not verbally, in writing, on posters, or on social media, at any time until the campaigning time is over,” a member of the SGA Elections Committee said. “Then after that they’re free to talk about anything before voting as long as it’s not about anything they’re worked for that’s government-related in these past couple weeks,” added the committee member. “Cough cough, didn’t plug anything vote for me,” Kressen said after receiving the penalty. The penalty enforced on Kressen was a deduction of 10 percent of his votes after the votes have been tallied. “It’s OK though,” Kressen
Photo by Doug Schoeller
said. “Of the people that vote, 10 percent of the votes for me are probably only two votes. In the end I probably gained more votes in my illegal motion than I lost.” This was the one instance so far Elections committee has caught. The complaints about signs being stolen, slander against other campaigns, and
widespread false rumors that have been abundant have yet to be addressed. “You can’t get all the infractions,” replied the committee when asked about these allegations. At press time, SGA remains puzzled in the lack of attendance in student government involvement on campus.
FIT Bookstore SALE ALERT: SYNTHETIC WOODEN-MOLDED CALIGRAPHI APPARATUS
3
Tower of Terror relocated to Crawford elevators Continued from front
Continued from front
MARCH 27
Coming next fall, these elevators will be the newest rides for students to experience. “We hope with this addition students will be more compelled to go to class in the Crawford building, especially if they’re in the top floor,” said President McCay. In less than 20 seconds, the Tower of Terror elevators are designed to visit all the Crawford f loors in-between oscillations carrying accelerations of up to five times the acceleration due to gravity. As a bonus addition of fear and thrill, the ride also simulates fearful scenarios of a normal elevator while it’s shooting up and down at 45 feet per second. Some of t hese add it ions include simulating an elevator filled with your entire class or making it sound like you ripped a huge fart with every-
one immediately noticing. “Even with all the scary and anxiety-filled attachments and signing a waiver showing you will not sue for medical damages, it still looks like the elevator system will still be more efficient than the old one,” said student Ralph Thurman. Tickets for these rides will be five dollars each and the proceeds go towards adding more food options to FIT. Tom Cruiser, a mechanical engineering junior was not too pleased with the announcement of this ride at Crawford. Cruiser said, “I’m too lazy to take the stairs, so that’s why I take the elevator. Now that next semester I can’t use the Crawford elevator anymore, I’m going to be forced to exercise. It’s horrific.” The ride is set to open on Nov. 8 and is also offering annual passes.
World Peace found out of internationally viral FitForum argument Continued from front
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“The other team is so dumb,” said Mrs. Cardi. “Don’t they understand we’re running out of space to live? I just want to make sure the whole school is aware.” But the arguing didn’t stop there. Neighboring schools like UCF, Rollins and FSU started joining in on the fight. Several tangents branched from the main exchange. Soon the email forum arguments spread up North and the president of Yale was all of a sudden sharing his very explicit thoughts on veganism. At one point, the arguments got so bad that someone suggested stopping and turning into a peaceful society. Drake Graham used the
nationally spotlighted email thread as an opportunity to propose a classic “can we just stop with all of this” statement. And at that moment, everything stood still in introspection. People laid down their arms, their heated minds and their blogs to come to a mutual understanding, manifested in the sophisticated reply “Lol!”. “I don’t k now why I didn’t think of this sooner,” said Drake Graham. “I really changed the world just now.” At press time, the United Nations and ever y country that’s not in the United Nations, all witnesses to the FitForum email, have set May 4 as the date to stop all conflict and fighting forever.
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S SATIRELIFE 4
ISSUE 6
MARCH 27
Botanical Gardens has a new resident Continued from front
Three raccoons accused of breaking into cars campus security and students left scrambling
Continued from front I only had one piece,” Cindy Vortex, a sophomore, said. “I’m not surprised though, they are always getting into stuff.” Secur it y g ua rd s were reluctant to talk about this ongoing investigation, but here is what we were able to gather from reports. Security guard Carl Lewis was put in charge of watching the Harris Village parking lot. He was able to catch three rac-
coons in the act however, when he approached them the three raccoons lead him on a highspeed chase on foot. Unfortunately, he slipped and fell and the raccoons got away. Although the pursuit did not end well, Lewis was still able to get a clear view of what the raccoons looked like. In a statement he said the raccoons are about two to three feet tall and wearing black mask around their eyes. Campus security is urging all students to call in the moment they spot
Raccoon breaking into emergency food stash in Harris Village vehicle.
these raccoons. The number to call is 321-674-8111.
“[The survey] is getting lost amongst all of the COM class surveys, though,” Xander said. “People think I’m doing this for a class. I’m not sure many students know that anything has changed.” Some students have taken notice to what they call disturbances in “The Botans.” “My friend Richie told me he saw Bigfoot in the botans, so of course I rushed over,” Judy Pince, a freshman in biomedical engineering, said. “Apparently Richie’s color blind and didn’t realize the guy was green, not brown. He was huge though.” Pince said security caught them looking for Shrek, but because they were on one of the paths, they weren’t breaking any rules. They received a lecture, but nothing permanent. Tricia Lance, a junior in strategic communication, is starting a petition to allow students to interact with the ogre, saying she’s not afraid of him.
“This is a huge deal,” Lance said while tabling Saturday with a group of friends. “Some students have said he can talk, others say he brings a donkey with him. These aren’t just urban legends and we deserve the chance to know more about Shrek.” The administration has not commented on whether they will change the rules based on the petition or not. Jacob Pateen, a sophomore in mechanical engineering, said he has more to worry about than “a monster stalking around.” “I don’t understand what everyone’s worked up about,” he said. “I have three exams, two group projects and a term paper to finish before next week. His donkey better not eat my homework is all I’m saying.” At press time, legend tells of finding the ogre by following the sound of what appears to be Smash Mouth’s “All Star.”
SGA Campaign poster just word scramble from excessive typos Makers of poster criticize other posters for looking like they were made by 5th graders.
DISCLAIMER: the outer pages of this issue, pages S2, S3, S4 are a part of the Crimson's annual April Fools edition. The content in those pages is in no means completely accurate, nor meant to have negative intentions. Photo by Doug Schoeller