WHAT IS IMPORTANT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX

What’s important when it comes to sex?

CONSENT:

In any kind of sexual act consent is ALWAYS the most important thing! You can always choose whether you want to have sex, whoever you’re with. Just because you’ve done it before, even with the same person, doesn’t mean that you have to do it again. So, before you get down to anything remember the golden rule: No sex without consent. Even oral sex. Some people don’t like giving or receiving oral sex, which is fine and needs to be respected. So, no pushing heads down or begging! If the answer is no, RESPECT it and move on.

COMMUNICATION BEFORE:

It’s better to have an embarrassing talk about sex rather than an embarrassing, unpleasant or even traumatic sexual encounter before you ’re ready.

Have a conversation before. The best time to have a chat about what you like and dislike about sex, oral or penetrative (vaginal or anal), is BEFORE sex — when your clothes are still on. This allows you and your partner to have a discussion that isn’t coercive or pressured. Go over what you like, what you dislike or anything that is an absolute no-go. This means that when you are in the heat of the moment, you both know the rules.

COMMUNICATION DURING:

Communication before sex doesn’t mean communication stops during it or doing anything sexual. Listen and look for non-verbal clues. Connect to your partners body and what they are showing you through their body language. Ask them if they are enjoying it. At anytime, don’t be afraid to give directions or to tell your partner if something just isn’’t working for you. If your partner looks fearful or uncomfortable STOP and talk to them.

COMMUNICATION AFTER:

Just as important as it is to communicate with your partner before and during sex, it is equally important to communicate after as this builds the relationship and the pleasure of your experience with each other. DON’T BE ASHAMED OF INEXPERIENCE: It’s totally fine to not know what you like or to not know how to have oral or penetrative sex. In fact, some of the most satisfying sexual experiences are exploratory ones. Be open to your partner about your experience or inexperience, and don’t feel that you have to perform. BE YOU!!

True intimacy is the connection you have with each other and not the sexual act. CONTRACEPTION:

Remember part of your communication together needs to be about contraception. For more information check out our articles on contraception.