WHAT IS THE RIGHT POSITION AND TECHNIQUE?

There is no ‘right’ position or technique. The ‘best’ position is what feels right for you. Simple. Your joy and pleasure during sex does not depend on having to be in a specific position and although it may be fun to try new positions, don’t expect to find the ‘magic’ one.

Sex is always the expression of how you feel about yourself and with your partner.

The position is just a tiny ingredient of a whole menu that is all about connection. And whatever position you choose will only be as relevant as the connection you have during sex. Positions will not give you a deeper or different connection with your partner. The connection comes first and from this the position will follow. Therefore, your relationship and the connection you have with your partner is the actual main ingredient.

Remember: Everyone’ s body is different, we all have different shapes and sizes, and this also includes our genitals.

So, one position that may work for one person might not work for another. And just because you had sex once in one position doesn’t mean that you will have to continue to have sex in that position. The way we feel and how our body feels can change from one moment to the next.

Being honest with yourself and communicating about these changes and how you feel is really important or else you might end up doing something you don’t feel comfortable with. Enjoy experiencing what a difference it makes when you’re being respectful and loving with yourself and your partner, communicating what kind of touch and sex you actually like, and finding out what your partner likes and what you could do together.

Sex is supposed to be fun. No one expects you to know what to do at any given moment. When being loving with yourself and your partner all you really have to do when having sex is make space for each other to explore, communicate and most importantly ENJOY.

Don’t try to compare your experience to others! And be aware that many people exaggerate when it comes to sex, so don’t believe most of what you hear.

Being into someone also doesn’t mean that you have to have sex, there are many ways of enjoying each other’s company. Sex is something we do when we feel truly safe and connected to our partner.

Needs and pictures sometimes get in the way, and we get convinced that we need to have sex in a certain way. We get fed pictures and ideals from movies, tv, music and porn. Getting rid of these pictures and ideals might initially be difficult but this is where being honest in the relationship and coming back to what our body is communicating, supports us. It’s really important to not base sex on the outside and what the ‘ideal’ version of sex might look like.

Sex is about connection and enjoying being with your partner and yourself in every moment. It’s about feeling the depth of your relations-hip and the way you are with each other. Feeling the beautiful body of your partner and the sweetness of his or her hands on your body. When it hurts then STOP and communicate what you are feeling and change position or technique so it doesn’t hurt.

If having sex continues to hurt seek professional advice from a sexual health service or doctor.