I t ’s mysterious the w ay Na tur e pla ys he r music of the spe c tr a . A merican com poser, L e ona r d Be r nste in be lie ve d tha t the o r i ginal verse in G enesis 1 wa s not, “ a nd God sa id” it wa s, “ a nd G o d sang.” H e believed God sa ng e ve r y a tom into e xiste nc e . E v e ry single atom in N atur e ’s spe c tr a is a unique e xpr e ssion of G o d’s creative genius. A r n old Sommerfeld, the Ge r ma n physic ist a nd pia nist, o b s erved that a single hydr oge n a tom, whic h e mits one hundr e d f r e quencies, is m ore m u sic a l tha n a gr a nd pia no, whic h only e m its eighty-eight. O n a ve r a ge , 87 pe r c e nt of the a toms in the h u man body are hydroge n, oxyge n, a nd c a r bon. One e le c tr on sh ell of a carbon atom pr oduc e s the sa me ha r monic sc a le of a G regorian chant. T here a r e ove r 100 tr illion a toms in one , si n gle hum an cell, w hich me a ns the r e is mor e music in our b o d y than w e can actually he a r. I would e ve n go a s f a r a s to sa y t h at w e are m usic. O n e day the sound w ill lif t us off our f e e t. Exa lte d e a r dr ums w i ll reveal trillions of songs tha t we r e onc e ina udible to the h u man ear. In the meantime , we ’ ll just ha ve to ke e p singing our so ng. We w ill sing, giving up our live s in or de r to ma ke sur e o n e note proceeds to the ne xt.
‘ We are the music m ake r s. We a r e the dr e a me r of dr e a ms’
0
00005 convers ati o ns
T HE M AGIC-MAKERS BEHIN D OU R F I F T H I S S UE . [AN D] ON E WORD TO D E S CR I B E T HE I R EXPERIEN CE DURIN G TH E M A K I N G O F, IN RE LATION TO THEIR CURREN T S TAT E I N LI F E :
E di t o r s L o v e L e tter: Everything exists within perception, how we connect or disconnect with. Pathways, obstacles, road blocks even. We are a forever growing canvas of events and interconnected moments. Your perception of even the simplest of experience has the power to transcend a reality all of your own. Pay attention. Within Volume V, Issue I our main focus has been documenting existence. As Funeral Parade strives to offer an open canvas for strangers and friends to fluidly break themselves open, we have opened ourselves to experience. To learn. To grow. Ultimately? To connect through creation. You will find a wide range of personality and involvement. I am humbled with the rawness of emotion communicated via everyone involved. And, I do hope it translates to you in the way we have intended. Maybe even speak in a relative aspect? The inspiration behind each page of this particular issue is, questions. Questioning in the sense of that deep rooted, instinctual romanticism of being heard in one way, shape, or form. Connecting dots with footsteps. Creating an unlikely dialogue between generations. Stripping down to our uttermost core and sharing stories. Becoming a walking canvas, as all humans are (whether we openly acknowledge this or not). This was our inspiration. Questions. Truth. In betweens. Conversation. For only through communication do we truly get to experience a connected path, do we get to know our neighbor, do we get to share our innermost truth; if at all for mere moments. I hope you connect. I hope you visualize your own beauty through that of our ongoing process. Welcome to our fifth issue, its been an experience.
xx, Sheena Snyder Editor-in-Chief & Creative Director
Intro Write-Up, “Music Maker” by Erin Lindsay
ing red i e n t s: ARTIST FEATURES 012 060 090 166 204
INTIMATCHINE LIGHT WITCH NYTYLY LUNAR NEW YEAR MATTHEW D. ROWE
VISUAL FEATURES 028 040 180 216
SMOKES AS ABOVE SO BELOW SLEEP CYCLE SIGNED WITH LOVE
COLLABORATIVE 100
UPLIFT : A breathing canvas
WORDS 144 076
LIVES OF OTHERS THE MEANING
234
CLOSING NOTE
zo n e o u t : INTIMATCHINE BLOOD ORANGE FLYING LOTUS PHORIA LYKKE LI KEVIN ABSTRACT VINDATA NYTYLY GLASS ANIMALS REJJIE SNOW SCHOOLBOY Q SYLVAN ESSO HAERTS MEMORY LOOP INTIMATCHINE RHYE THUNDERCAT LOMAJI TENTACLE STONEDZOO
do me it is what it is osaka trade emanate / tom gillieron rework gunshot drugs all i really need / feat. kenzie may dj on the radio gooey 1992 / feat. loyle-carner collard greens / feat. kendrick lamar coffee / ms mr rmx call my name red [blue / green mix] heavenly creatures 3 days lotus and the jondy jaz [rmx] space the come down
>>LISTEN ON SOUNDCLOUD
F U N E R A L P A R - A DE.
I N T IM ATC H I N E ARTISTS LOCATION MEDIUM MAKING ART
CHELSEY RAE HOLLAND CHRISTOPHER WORMALD LOS ANGELES, CA SOUND 5 YEARS
FEATURED BY SHEENA SNYDER PHOTOGRAPHED BY SHEENA SNYDER JULIA WALCK
We were invited into the most vulnerable of settings, for an exclusive photo story depicting the two souls behind the esoteric beauty that is Intimatchine, in means of giving you an intimate look into the energy of this duo off stage. Open their front door, walk in, greetings and smiles, good vibes.. what we found was a home filled with color, romantically designed corners, little trinkets of creative subtlety, and two artistic lovers with an intense connection for one another. Intimatchine quickly found a soft spot in our muse-fed hearts. Translate this energy to their stage presence and the walk-away essence is nothing short of pure magic. With the recent release of their cassette EP, “I’ll Eat You Last” Intimatchine have been busy sharing their eccentric sound throughout the California coastline for the better part of 2014. As Chelsey shared, “All of the songs featured on this EP have been written within the last two years. The first single off the EP, Do Me, was composed on auto harp because our upstairs neighbors would stomp around violently if we embraced the bass. Our creativity peaks late at night. Overall, Chris and I work from two seemingly different places, and the sound that is Intimatchine is forging these two processes together.” A good drink, bubble fight, and some electric blue androgynous pieces later, we walked away with a little glimpse into the life of.. and oh, how inspired we had become. INTIMATCHINE.BANDCAMP.COM
ARTIST
FEATURE
INTERVIEW
THE DARK, ETHEREAL VIBE YOU SHARE THROUGH MUSIC LEAVES ME FEELING IN THIS MEDITATIVE TRANCE. WHAT INSPIRES YOUR PARTICULAR STYLE/SOUND? Ch ri s: M y obs es sions with IDM, Glitch , a n d P o st- Rock introduc ed me to the po s t i n d u s t ri al, dar k am b ie nt style s that influen ce m e t o d a y. The layer ed, minimalist c ompositio n s a n d l i n e ar f or mats of noise, minimal tec h n o , a n d s o und ar t connec ts with me at a m e t a p h ys ical level. Live performance s fr o m a rt i st s like Lawr en ce English, Tim He ck er, a n d D a vid Schaff er a ltered my pe rc ept i o n o n s o u n d and m us ic composition in suc h a w a y t h at I have bec ome transfixed on th ei r t r a n s c e ndental an d e ntra nc ing qualiti es . I ev a l u ate m y s ound design ac cording to m y r ec o l l e ction of these events. Although I am e a si l y d is tr acted by fla mboyant performers , I t r y t o m editate on th e sound produc tion, wh i ch o ft e n l e a ds m e s pec ulating on the ir proce ss.
C h el s ey : F o r m e p art i cu l arl y, i t ’s d o o m m e t a l . Dro n e m et al d o n e at t h e h an d s o f an el e c t r o n i c m u s i ci an . It ’s h eav i er t h an an y fo u r p i ec e b a n d I h av e ev er h eard . Of co u rs e o u r m u s i c d o e s n ’t reach i t ’s fu l l i n d u s t ri al cap ab i l i t y b ec a u s e I l i k e t o rep l i cat e a m ezzo -s o p ran o v o cal r a n g e , wh i ch m arri es t h e l o w en d wi t h t h e h ig h e n d . It t en d s t o b e s t ereo t y p i cal fo r an g s t y f e m m e ch aract er t y p es , b u t I t h i n k i t h el p s t ra n s c e n d t h e i n t el l ect u al an d fo reb o d i n g s o u n d o f C h r i s ’ p ro g ram m i n g . On an o t h er n o t e, I e x p r e s s m y s el f b es t wh en I can b e v o cal l y p erfo r m a t i v e . I s p en t s o m e t i m e t ry i n g t o u n d o m y v o c a l t rai n i n g i n o p era an d m u s i cal t h eat er s o t h a t I co u l d g et t h at rawer s o u n d . I’v e g ro wn o u t o f t h at an d ap p reci at e t h e co n t ro l I h av e d eve l o p e d o v er m y v o i ce.
SHARE THE EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCE YOU TAKE ON WHEN PERFORMING YOUR MUSIC FOR AN AUDIENCE. HOW DO YOU HOPE THOSE TO CONNECT WITH YOUR ART? C h e l se y : I t’s ver y persona l. I ima gine ta lk i n g t o j u st one per s on. At mome nts, ther e’s i nt e ra c t ion between C hris and I and everyo n e aro u n d us tends to disa ppea r. I like to thi n k we ’re allow ing moments for people to p eer i nt o o u r r elationship. It’s not alwa ys a pl e a su re cr uis e. I ’ve sc re amed at C hris o n s t a g e a nd he’s ignored me during a n ent i re pe rfo rm ance bef or e . B ut, even with thes e mo re p e r f or m ative mome nts, the music shou l d be a b l e to hold ou t on it’s own. It is v ery i mp o rt a nt that our music conveys th es e f e e l i n g s , r egar dles s of our inte ra ctions.
C h ri s : I feel v u l n erab l e y et l u ci d . I b e c o m e h y p ers en s i t i v e, t i m e s l o ws d o wn , an d I a m cap ab l e o f d eco n s t ru ct i n g an d an al y zi n g a l l t h e d i fferen t p art s we are res p o n s i b l e fo r. M y i n s t ru m en t s fu s e wi t h m y b o d y. I am b rea t h l e s s as C h el s ey ’s v o i ce an d p erfo rm an ce s h i e l d m e. I ex p eri en ce feel i n g s o f i n t i m ac y a n d ad m i rat i o n . T h ere are m o m en t s wh e r e I ro m an t i ci ze an d fan t as i ze b ei n g he r o r co m m an d eeri n g t h e s t ag e. We d o n o t wa n t o u r au d i en ce t o feel ex cl u d ed b y o u r i n t era c t i o n s . We wan t t o p o s s es s t h em an d ret u rn t h e f a v o r. It i s t h e i d ea o f en g ag i n g i n each o t h ers r o l e s , au d i en ce t o p erfo rm er.
INTIMATCHINE
HAVING HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO PHOTOGRAPH YOU BOTH IN THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME, I WAS ABLE TO SEE THE DIFFERENCES YET SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU. CHRIS VERY ATTENTIVE. CHELSEY VERY LIVELY. BOTH TRULY PASSIONATE ABOUT NOT ONLY YOURSELVES BUT EACH OTHER. HOW WOULD YOU EXPLAIN ONE ANOTHER? WHAT ASPECTS DO YOU BELIEVE YOU EACH BRING TO INTIMATCHINE ON A SEPARATE AS WELL AS COMBINED LEVEL? C h ri s: She may sa y othe rwise, but wi t h o u t h e r a cting as the c re ative and e mot i o n al m o d e r ator, our proc ess would be disorgan i zed a n d unmanageable. I have more of an o b se ss ion with the craft and ma te riali t y o f m a k i ng mus ic. S he ma inta ins the tona l an d a e st h etic cons is tency that allows our so u n d s t o b e lis tenable. T here is a lot of pa ssion an d fru s t ration at play, too. The conflict over o u r d i ffe r ent cr eative wa nts a nd ne eds is o ft en p e rs o nal and em o tional. We ha ve lea rned t o re so l v e thes e s pats with exercise , sile nc e, o r fu rt h er ing the aggression in our music.
C h el s ey : C h ri s i s l i k e Wi l l em Dafo e i n A n t ich ri s t . He i s t h e fo u n d at i o n o f t h e rel a t i o n s h i p — an u n y i el d i n g fo rce o f p rag m at i sm , e v e n i f aft er rem o v i n g h i s m an h o o d wi t h a b l u n t o b j ect . Or m ay b e a b et t er co m p ari s o n i s R i c k y R i card o , b ecau s e h e d o es n ’t s p eak E n g l i s h . R eg ard l es s , b o t h o u r m u s i cal s t y l e s i n f o r m wh at k i n d o f ro l es we’re p l ay i n g i n e a c h s o n g . B y d efau l t , C h ri s ’ cru d e an d i n te l l e c t u a l rh y t h m s act as a s t ru ct u re fo r t h e w h i m s i c a l n at u re o f m y v o i ce. S o m et i m es we s w i t c h t h i s ro l e, al l o wi n g t h e s y n t h es i zers t o b eco m e m o r e fl am b o y an t wh i l s t t h e fem al e v o cal s h o l d b a c k an d em b o d y a n arrat i v e.
THE LOVE/ ENERGY BETWEEN YOU TWO DEFINITELY TRANSCENDS THROUGH YOUR MUSIC & STAGE PRESENCE. INTIMATE. DREAMY. MOVING. HOW DO YOU FEEL THE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP INFLUENCES YOUR MUSIC AND DIRECTION? DOES IT EVER DISTRACT OR BECOME OVERWHELMING? C h ri s: The mus ic is bec oming more o f a re fl e ction of our re la tionship over time . Ou r c o m for t, pas s ion, and difference s a re al l i n c l u ded in the song writing proce ss. It ’s i n e sc apable. M ore tha n e ve r, we are tog et h er d u ri n g the wr iting proc ess, which is b o t h p o si t i ve and negative. We get in de eper an d m o re pas s ionate debates, but the out co m e a d d s to our development more tha n it w o u l d o t h e rwis e. I ntim atchine is be coming mo re o f a c o l labor ation betwe en the two of us in s t ead o f j u s t a layer ing of two ae sthe tic voice s an d m u s i cal backgr ounds. O u r per s onal r elationship is fa r more mat u re t h a n our mus ical one is. Once our b an d d y n a mic catches up with that, I am unce rt ai n o f h o w anyone w ill stop us.
C h el s ey : An d wi t h t h at , i t ’s n o n -s t op . T h e p ro j ect d o es n ’t s l eep , as i t ’s an ex p os i t i o n o f o u r rel at i o n s h i p — s o cert ai n i n t eract io n s w i l l h ap p en b et ween u s an d en d u p fu el i n g i d e a s f o r a v i d eo o r co l l ab o rat i o n . M u s i c i s o u r l e i s u r e an d I t h i n k we’re b o t h s at i s fi ed t h at i t c a n t a k e p l ace i n o u r h o m e at an y g i v en m o m en t . A t t h e s am e t i m e, t h ere’s a feel i n g o f b ei n g t o o s e l f i n v o l v ed o r n o t b ei n g ab l e t o b reat h e l i f e i n t o o t h er rel at i o n s h i p s an d en d eav o rs . We ’ r e s t i l l wo rk i n g o n t h at — t o t u rn t h e fo cu s o n t h e m e s b i g g er t h an o u rs el v es an d s t ri v e fo r a m u l t i d i s ci p l i n ary ap p ro ach . It ’s i m p o rt an t t o u s .
INTERVIEW
WHAT IS YOUR TAKE ON THE ARTIST/ MUSE RELATIONSHIP? DO YOU CURRENTLY HAVE OR ARE YOU ONE ANOTHERS? C h e l sey: I like to write ab o u t v u l n e rabilities . I t’s my niche thing right n o w b u t i t’s wear ing, for both C hris and I. T h e o u t c o me is im aginable , of subje cting y o u r p a rt n er to endles s pe ssimism a nd inse curi t i es . B u t C hr is is abov e suspic ion and he re-in v en t s t h a t energy. He we ars the dress for me wh en I d o n’t want to and when I nee d some p l ace t o v e nt he gives me 150 B P M. He is abl e t o e m b o dy this r ole I identify with and it h el p s l e s se n the intensity. This allows me to s t ep b a c k and w atch C hris se rve as the pa ra d i g m . T h a t ’s w hat I nee d. In general I have no b ran d l o y a l ty— which ha s made idols ha rd to k eep . B u t n o one comes c lose to C hris.
C h ri s : In t h e cas e t h at t h e m u s e i s c o n t e n t e d o r s t i m u l at ed b y b ei n g i n t h at ro l e , a l o n e , t h en i t i s p aram o u n t t o t h e art i s t ’s v i t a l i t y a n d s u cces s . Wh en t h e m u s e i s s u rp r i s e d t o fi n d o u t t h at i t i s t h e o b j ect o f s om e o n e ’s o b s es s i o n an d fan t as y, i t can ei t h e r b e t h e g reat es t fl at t ery o r t erro r. C h el s ey h a s b e e n m y o n e an d o n l y m u s e s i n ce t h e m o m e n t I m et h er. It g o t co m p l i cat ed wh en we s t a r t e d s l eep i n g t o g et h er an d ev en m o re s o w h e n we m o v ed i n t o g et h er. No w t h at w e a r e co l l ab o rat i n g o n art , i t ’s l i k e l iv i n g i n p erp et u al fan t as y, o r o rg as m .
THE VISUAL VIDEO YOU DID WITH CINEMATOGRAPHER CJ BRION LEFT ME SPEECHLESS. SHARE SOME INSIGHT INTO THE MESSAGE, INSPIRATION, AND THE MAKING OF. WHAT EXPERIENCE DID YOU WALK AWAY WITH UPON COMPLETION? C h e l sey: CJ s et the par on this first o n e. We actually kne w ea ch othe r prior fro m g ro w i ng up in C osta Mesa—he ’s got a g o o d re p u t ation. The song “ Are You R i ch ?” d e m a nds a vis ual presence and I think it h as a l o t t o do with the monologue . S poke n word j u s t d o e s that. I f eel like it sucks you in a nd l en d s t h i s s or t of clar ity bre ak from the re pe t i t i v e rh y t h m s tr uctur e. C h ri s and I w ere pa ssiona te only abo u t a fe w i deas f or the video (B la de R unner, s l o w m o t i on, m ale lead, no lea ther, no fire) an d w a n t ed to s pend no more tha n one we ek en d sh o o t ing it. CJ wa s able to turn the b are m i n i mum into an intriguing visua l mo m en t . C h ri s only w or e the dre ss a nd delivered m y m o n o logue because I’m ca me ra shy. I d i d n ’t w a n t to be in it. The tea rs were re al. We n e v e r imagined th at this exchange would read so p o litical on s cree n. B ut that’s wha t hap p en s I g u e ss w hen embodying the other. We th o u g h t t h a t t he m es s age would re ma in pe rsonal. B u t w h o is it that s aid so well, “ the pe rson al i s p o l i t i cal”? Car ol Ha nisc h, a yule c andle wi t h g e n e ros ities beyond our time .
C h ri s : I was p u l l i n g fro m t wo fan t a s i e s I h av e, wh i ch i n cl u d e m e b ei n g i n v o lv e d i n a h i g h -s p eed p u rs u i t wh i l e m ak i n g l o v e t o an u n t am eab l e wo m an i n t h e b ack se a t o f a L i n co l n C o n t i n en t al M ark VI. T h e c a r i s i n m o t i o n al t h o u g h t h ere i s n o t a d ri v er p r e s e n t . T h e o t h er fan t as y i s t o b e cap t u red o n f i l m d u ri n g a h i g h -s p eed p u rs u i t wh er e I a m m ak i n g l o v e t o an u n t am eab l e wo m a n i n t h e b ack s eat o f a L i n co l n C o n t i n en t al M a r k V I . T h i s wo u l d b e a p art o f a l arg e c i n e m a t i c p ro d u ct i o n i n cl u d i n g a l arg e crew a n d v a s t d i s p l ay o f t ech . Nei t h er o f wh i ch o cc u r r e d i n t h e act u al p ro d u ct i o n o f t h e m u s i c v i d e o . Yes , t h i s d eci s i o n was i n t en t i o n a l a n d p o l i t i cal an d n o t wi t h o u t m y p erm i s s i o n . I w a s ab l e t o s l i p h i n t s o f s ex u al fru s t rat i o n w i t h a g o o d am o u n t o f t h i g h , t h o u g h I am n o t a l w a y s t h e o n e weari n g t h e d res s . S o m et i m e s , I h i d e i t i n t h e t ru n k . Yo u are wel co m e t o rea d m y l i p s y n ch as m o ck ery o r v ag i n a wo rs h i p .
INTIMATCHINE
INTERVIEW
HAVING NOW HAD THE CHANCE TO LISTEN TO, WATCH, AND EXPERIENCE YOUR ART FACE TO FACE, I CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL AS IF YOU TWO NOT ONLY WANT TO PUSH BOUNDARIES WITH THE AUDIENCE BUT ALSO WITHIN YOURSELVES. AS IF YOU’RE TRYING TO BREAK US OPEN THROUGH VOICING SECRETS ON A LESS THAN OBVIOUS LEVEL. WHAT IS THE ROOT FOUNDATION BEHIND INTIMATCHINE? WHAT IS YOUR MESSAGE? Pus hing bounda ries is a good w ay t o s t art . We s t ri v e t o ward i n t eract i o n an d br eaking down that fourth wa ll be t ween au d i en ce an d p erfo rm er, b u t p ri m ari l y o n the web. It’s ea sy for us to look pe o p l e i n t h e ey es wh i l e p erfo rm i n g , o r t o s t ep o ff the s tage a nd into the crowd. We wan t t o rem ai n t an g i b l e ev en aft er t h e s h o w, an d what better wa y to do that tha n exp o s i n g y o u r p ro ces s o n v ari o u s o u t l et s . I ntim atchine wa s founde d on ou r d i g i t al i n t i m acy — i t b eg an as a p l at fo rm to s har e our se lves a nd moments with i n t h e u n d erg ro u n d . B ey o n d t h e m u s i c, we’v e m aintained a re la tionship a dvic e co l u m n o n Tu m b l r an d k eep an acco u n t o n Yel p to s har e our favorite pla ce s to get l ai d . M o re i m p o rt an t l y, we i m ag i n e t h i s s y n ergy tr ans cending into comple te politi cal act i v i s m , es p eci al l y am o n g s t h ack er cu l t u re . We’ r e all a bout exposing se crets, o u r o wn an d t h en s o m e. F o r n o w, we d o n ’t ex i st . WHEN NOT MAKING MUSIC, WHAT MIGHT WE FIND YOU DOING WITH YOUR TIME? We tr y to remain a ctive a udie nc e m em b ers o f t h e l o cal art an d m u s i c s cen e b y attending ga llery ope nings and p erfo rm an ces . T h i s g i v es u s a ch an ce t o deviate f r o m the conc erns of the ban d wh i l e m ai n t ai n i n g a cri t i cal awaren es s o f o u r cr eative s urroundings. There are m an y acco m p l i s h ed an d i n n o v at ed p l ay ers i n t h e local s cen e. For this rea son, we fr eq u en t v en u es l i k e T h e C o m p l ex , T h e C h u rch o n Yor k, and The Ha ndba g F ac tory, to n am e j u s t a few. AND, FOR OUR FINAL QUESTION, LETS SAY ITS YOUR LAST BREATH. WHAT WILL YOUR TOMBSTONE SAY TO THE WORLD? D o What You Wa nt With This B od y.
INTIMATCHINE
SELF PORTRAIT SHORT elle chen
melyka
N A RR A T I V E elle chen sucaldito
oh, it feels good wrapped up in your smoke. you dress my hair with fragrant ribbons. your fingertips touch my skin is swimming i let out my air and breathe you into me.
lie to me with your craft and skill. the words laying down fields and when your mouth stops moving, the truth is gone. i let out my grief and draw each word to me. walk away now with your suitcase in hand. you’ve packed up your ghosts, the ones you tried to lose in me.
and when your mind slips your memories all but dust, i let out my tears and absorb each speck into me.
AB
BE
AS BOVE SO ELOW HAIR & BRIANNA CHRISTIAN STYLIST MEGAN
MAKEUP OROZCO CORTEZ
&
MUSE OROZCO
P H O T O G R A P H E R SHEENA SNYDER
WELCOM DRE A STAT
W CO DRE ST
WELOME EAM TATE
WE LCO M E DREAM STAT E WIT HIN E ACH FIN ELY TUN ED ST E P C ERULE AN SHADES OF N OSTALGIC HU E S F O R A PLACE N OT YET KN OWN .
L IGHT ARTIST LOCATION MEDIUM MAKING ART
WITCH
COURTNEY BROOKE THE HILLS WESTERN MASS PHOTOGRAPHY AS LONG AS I CAN RECALL
FEATURED ARTWORK
BY
SHEENA
SNYDER
© COURTNEY BROOKE
“ We are so luc ky to live i n a u n i v ers e fi l l ed wi t h s o m u ch n at u ral myste ry, to live on a pla n et wi t h s u ch b eau t y. T h ere i s s o m u ch in the pre se nt, so muc h b eau t i fu l p o s s i b i l i t y t h at i s o ft en o v er lo oked or rushed past. I t en d t o g o a l i t t l e s l o wer, t o b e s t ari n g off in the distance . I wa n t t o l o o k d eep er i n t o wh at i t m ean s t o be here in this human fo rm h av i n g t h i s h u m an ex p eri en ce. Ho w it is we c onne ct to ea ch o t h er an d t o t h e wo rl d aro u n d u s i s wh at drive s me the most. I have alwa ys felt so sep arat e, s o t rap p ed i n m y fo rm , as i f i t should be possible to sh ed m y b o n es an d fl es h an d j u s t b e p art of the energy that is the s u m o f al l t h i n g s . It i s fro m t h at d es i re I find myse lf pla cing the h u m an fo rm i n t h e m o s t s p i ri t u al p l ace I c an think of, nature, i n h o p es t o cap t u re t h at es s en ce, t h at c onne ction we a ll have i n o u r d ep t h s . Pa rt of what draws me to p h o t o g rap h y as a m ed i u m i s t h at t h e very na ture of it, limits h o w far fro m real i t y y o u can act u al l y e sc ape. Anything tha t is an i m ag e was t h ere i n real t i m e, fl es h , bone, and touchable in fro n t o f m y l en s . T h at ’s wh at I wan t t o c apture , the ac tuality of “m y t h ” t h e act u al i t y o f al l t h i n g s i s in finite ly possible.”
LIGHTWITCH.COM
INTERVIEW
What is a normal day of “light witch” like? I w i s h I could say my life is as “magi cal ” a s my w or k s eems to imply, but it’s ne x t t o i m p os s ible, as fa r a s I ca n tell, to ma k e a l i v i ng jus t m aking the art one fe els re al l y p a ss ionate about without some benefact o r o r o ther s our ce of income to do s o . S o me of my days are spe nt at my da y j o b t e n d ing bar, w o rking on e ithe r my E t s y st o re or helping my frie nd ma na ge his , o r t e n d ing to the orde rs that come in on m y p ri n t s tor e.
Share a visual description of your creative process. M o s t o f m y wo rk i s n o t o v erl y t h o u g h t o u t , I k eep a n o t eb o o k t h at i s ri fe w i t h o n e l i n ers , s cri b b l es t h at t o t h e n ak ed ey e I a m s u re l o o k m o s t l y l i k e n o n s en s e. I s p e n d a l o t o f t i m e co l l ect i n g ; co l l ect i n g b o o k s , l i t t l e t reas u res , o l d cl o t h es , an d th i n g s I fi n d cu ri o u s i n s o m e way. It h el p s t o h a v e t h es e l i t t l e m o m en t s n ear m e an d t h e y m o r e o ft en t h an n o t s h o w u p i n m y i m ag es .
I t ry to m ake at lea st a n hour a day to j u s t h a v e a cr eative moment, to le t the wo rl d w a s h over me; to work on a photo or fl u s h o u t the details of a n upcoming project . N o n e of it ever fee ls like work thou g h , t h a t ’s s om ething tha t’s supe r importa n t t o m e and I f eel pa rtic ularly blesse d a bou t . I w o u ld love to b e able to travel a t a whi m , o r aff or d m uch nic er ge ar to shoot w i t h , b u t it’s not the c ase and I would ra ther n o t sa c rif ice m y f re edom for those thin g s . I d on’t by any me ans c ome from a ri ch b a c kgr ound and c an’t se em to find th o s e b o o t s tr aps to pull myse lf up with.
Your work is very spiritual encompassed. How do you visualize those to connect, when creating? I am co n s t an t l y s earch i n g , I b el ie v e i n m y s t i ci s m , i n m ag i c, t h at we a r e t h e m acro co s m an d t h e m i cro co s m t h a t w h a t i s ab o v e i s al s o b el o w an d s h al l b e f o r e v e r i n s o m e fo rm . Al t h o u g h s y m b o l s r e s o n a t e wi t h d i fferen t em o t i o n s an d t h o u g h t s f o r each i n d i v i d u al , i t i s i n t h o s e an d i n c a l l i n g o n t ro p es an d a s o rt o f co l l ect i v e me m o r y I t ry t o co n j u re i n m y i m ag es . I t ry t o u s e t h em as l i t t l e d ag g ers t o cu t away t h e f l e s h an d ex p o s e a s o rt o f s o u l an d em o t i o n i n a v i s u al fo rm .
If you could describe your photography in one word, what would that word be? I a c tually can’t, I a m not a word person b y a n y means . I t’s why I’m a visua l a rtist an d n o t a novelis t. I fee l like I have a thous an d st o ries bur ied in me, but the words g et j u m bled and tan gled on the wa y out. I do n ’t h a v e a wor d for what I a m trying t o a rt i culate. So, I try to flesh out th o s e t h o ughts and f ee lings in ima ge ry.
L
I
G
H
T
W
I
T
C
H
INTERVIEW
What are you currently working on and where do you envision your photography heading? I h a ve been, and a m still working o n a pro j e ct that exp lore s how wome n con n ect to n a tur e and the spiritual elements of t h e un i v e rs e. I think there is some thing inna t e i n ou r g ender that a llows us women to ta p i n t o w h a t one might ca ll the mystica l aspe ct s o f be i n g ; to touch on tha t sta r stuff tha t is a t t h e co re of all things . I a m s till exploring this idea in hope s o f pu b l i s hing the collec tion in book form wi t h w ri t t e n wor ds by one of my be st frie nds an d in s p i rations , Gillia n C hadwick of Elemen t al Child.
Share a few words of insight you might remind yourself on a down/ uninspired day. What do you do to get out of those infamous art funks? I d o n ’t k n o w i f I h av e an y wo rd s o n t h i s . I cert ai n l y g et i n fu n k s , m o m en t s w h e n I q u es t i o n i f wh at I can o ffer t o t h e v i s u a l l an d s cap e i s wo rt h an y t h i n g . T h e ev e r d r i v i n g d es i re t o creat e al way s wi n s , t h at re s o n a t i n g h u m t o creat e fo r t h e s ak e o f i t . E v en i f I d e e m t h e wo rk u n fi t fo r o t h ers ’ ey es , i t ’s i n t h e p ro ces s t h at I feel t h e j o y.
What are some other areas aside from photography, that interest you? I s p e n d a good chunk of my time looking at art h i s t o ry, read i n g , an d wat ch i n g a t o n o f fil m s . I a m try i n g to f ill m y brain with a s muc h knowl ed g e as I can . I al s o s p en d t i m e m ak i n g j ew e l r y, a n d em b roider ing. I lik e to spe nd as much tim e as p o s s i b l e o u t s i d e ex p l o ri n g t h e wo o d s an d g a r d e n i n g , s o I a m looking f orward to this polar vort ex d ep art i n g . I h o n es t l y d o n ’t g et t h at m u ch f r e e t i m e th e se days .
L
I
G
H
T
W
I
T
C
H
INTERVIEW
Choose 1 image you’ve created the experience with capturing.
and
explain
I d o n ’t know if I had mentioned this, but o n e o f t h e m o s t i m p o rt an t t h i n g to have ar ound me as a n artist is oth er creat i v es . Ot h er p eo p l e w h o under s tand wha t you are about, wh at y o u r wo rk i s ab o u t an d t h a t make it incre dibly ea sy to articula t e wh at y o u are l o o k i n g t o h a v e happen in an image. Th i s par ticular ima ge was shot a fe w y ears b ack . Ou r h o u s e o n t h e h ill had been filled with pe ople the ni g h t b efo re an d we s t ay ed u p l a te, and had a grand time . F or wha te v er reas o n I wo k e u p wi t h h a rd l y any s leep in the morning, and the wo rl d o u t s i d e was fo g g y, t h e l i ght s hallow a nd dim. The fie lds lon g g ras s h ad t u rn ed am b er, a n d t he las t cr is p gre en was only on the p i n e t rees l i n i n g t h e ed g es o f t h e f or es t. A t t h e r is k of being the mea ne st friend ev er, I ran t o m y cl o s et an d g ra b bed the long velve t ope ra ca pe and a few o t h er p i eces , t h en d a s h ed ar ound s eeing who I c ould wak e u p wi t h t h e al l u re o f i t b e i n g s tunningly foggy out. I didn’t ov erl y p l an an y t h i n g , I j u s t k e p t the r ight pieces c lose by. We ra n out i n t o t h e co l d , i n t o t h e fi el d t o w a r ds the pines, le tting nature a nd emo t i o n g u i d e u s . T h i s p h o t o w a s taken in those mome nts of being a liv e, o f b ei n g co n n ect ed .
L
I
G
H
T
W
I
T
C
H
TO
I WANT BELIEVE
THAT IN SOME WAY EACH OF US FROM BIRTH HAVE BEEN ON A JOURNEY TO CONNECT TO SOMETHING LARGER, A AS
ONENESS I I
KNOW HAVE
And, for Funeral Parade’s final question. Imagine it’s your last breath, what’s your tombstone going to read to the world?
I h ope to not have one. I belie ve that e ach o f u s i s en cas ed en erg y i n t h e se bodies of ours and whe n we die t h at en erg y g et s p as s ed o n t o o t h er lif e, think worms and bugs a nd a l l t h o s e o t h er wo n d erfu l t h i n g s t h a t eat ones co rpse . I find bea uty in t h i s g i v i n g b ack o f en erg y t o t h e wor ld. I would love to ha ve my bo d y t h ro wn t o t h e fi s h es i n t h e d e e p ocean, or to the birds of prey, o r t o ev en d i e at t h e m ercy o f c a rnivor es ’ s harp te eth, the re is some thi n g m ag i cal ab o u t d i rect en erg y t ra n s f er ence to me . S o should that be t h e cas e I s ee n o n eed fo r a t o m bs tone. Should my wishe s not be m ad e real I wi l l s et t l e fo r t h i s t h o u gh: “ D o not s tand at my grave and we ep, I a m not ther e - I do not slee p. I a m the thous and winds that blow, I a m the diamond glints in snow, I a m the s unlight on ripe ne d grain, I a m the gentle autumn rain. A s you aw ake with morning’s hush I a m the s wif t- up-flinging rush O f q uiet bir ds in circ ling flight. D o not s tand at my grave and cry, I a m not ther e - I did not die . ”
T HE
M E ANING What i s t h e m e a n i n g o f l i f e ? Thi s i s s u c h a h e a v y q u e s t i on , a n d o n e t h a t is se e m in g ly im p o ssib le t o answe r. Fo r m e, t h e b e s t way t o a p p ro a c h it is t o b re a k d ow n a ll t h a t is mea n i n g f u l – o u r r e l a t i o n s h i p s, o u r p e rsp e ct ive s, o u r va lu e s a n d b e lie fs, our p r i o r i t i e s. B u t wh a t a b o u t o u r le sso n s le a r n e d ? O ft e n t im e s, t h e va lu e of ou r ex p e r i e n c e s a r e n o t a pp a re n t w h e n we a re so im m e rse d in t h e t h ic k of thi n g s – b u t wi t h t i m e, p e r sp e ct ive a lway s se e m s t o c h a n ge. I n t h i s c o mp a ra t i ve p i e c e, I in t e r v iewe d se ve ra l in d iv id u a ls a cro ss gene ra t i o n s, i n a n e f fo r t t o co m p a re a n d co n t ra st h ow o u r p e rsp e ct ive s c hange o ve r t i me. B y l e a r n i n g fro m in d iv id u a ls a cro ss t h e sp e ct r u m , we can s e e t h e g rowt h t h a t o c cu rs a cro ss ge n e ra t io n s o f ex p e rie n ce, a s a resul t o f t h e h i g h s a n d l ow s we e n d u re in life. Eac h i n t e r v i ew a l l ow s u s t o ga in a lit t le b it o f in sig h t o n h ow “m e a n in g ” and “ s i g n i f i c a n c e ” ma n i f e s t s it se lf a cro ss t im e, fo r a g re a t e r p ict u re o f “what i t a l l me a n s ” . W h a t i s t h e p o in t o f it a ll? We ll, t h e re a re m a ny poi nt s – i t ’s t h e a c c u m u l a t i o n o f a ll o f t h e m t h a t g ive s u s d e p t h , a n d g ive s l i fe p u r p o s e.
D O C U M E N T E D B Y S H A LY N T H A R AY IL
CHUCK BECK M AN 68 YEARS OL D “MINDFUL NESS”
Looking back on your life plans, what are some turning points? Is there any value in that experience? I’m k ind of i n my h e a d a l o t – I h a ve b e e n sin ce I wa s ti ny. The m o s t i mp o r t a n t t h i n g i n my life s ince I l ear ned to r e a d a t 6 ye a r s o l d h a s a lway s b een – what do t h i n g s m e a n ? W h a t i s r e a lit y ? And I thi nk probabl y t h e b i g ge s t i m p a c t I h a d in b eg inni ng to c hange d i r e c t i o n wa s p ro b ab ly a cour se I took i n e a r l y c o l l e ge, c a l l e d “ Dy na m ics of In t erpersonal Re l a t i o n s h i p s.” I t wa s t h e first time in my l i fe whe r e a l l o f my n o r m a l m e t h o d s of in t eracti ng wi t h p e o p l e a n d s i t u a t i o n s wa s c ha llenged. And I b e ga n t o r e a l i z e t h a t I h a d a p p roac hed thi ngs o f t e n o p p o s i t e o f h ow I wo u ld b e mo re effecti ve i n a p p ro a c h i n g t h i n g s.
When you say “challenged”, are you referring to self-awareness? Yes, that’s exactl y wh a t I me a n . I s t a r t e d co lle ge late – I had been t o t h e s e r v i c e a n d h a d t wo k id s b efor e I star ted co l l e ge. I h a d ex p e r i e n c e d a lo t of lif e al ready, a n d d ra wn a l o t o f c o n c l u sio n s b eca use of that. An d , t o b e g i n t o r e a l i ze t h a t mos t o f my concl us i o n s we r e w ro n g – wa s m in d b og g l i ng. But i t af f e c t e d h ow I i n t e ra c t e d w it h everyone. I t affec t e d e ve r y t h i n g i n my l i f e, in a very posi ti ve way. An d i t a l s o i n s t r u c t e d m e o n the negati ve resul t s I h a d c r e a t e d , t h ro u g h my o ld ha b its of i nteractin g wi t h p e o p l e.
So how do you deal with situations where it all may be out of your control? We ll, o n e t h in g I le a r n e d e a r ly o n is - s top getti ng a n g ry w h e n t h in g s a re n’t g o in g yo u r way. Jus t get cu rio u s – a n d fig u re o u t w hy. It t o o k m e m a ny ye a rs t o re a liz e p e o p le ar e near l y a lway s co m in g fro m o n e o f t wo m o d e s – they ar e e it h e r ex p e rie n cin g p e a ce o f m in d , or they ar e t ry in g t o ge t t h e m se lve s p e a ce o f m ind.
One of my favorite quotes is that people are always motivated by love or fear. I u se d t h a t ex a ct p h ra se fo r m a ny year s. But I re fin e d it d ow n t o, “Pe o p le a re a lways moti vated by lo ve. T h ey a re e it h e r g iv in g it , or tr yi ng to ge t it .” N o b o dy wa n t s t o b e in fe a r. N o b o dy wants to b e u n co m fo r t a b le, o r c h a o t ic, o r in t u r moi l …. they a re g o in g t o t ry t o g ive yo u lo ve, o r they ar e ju st t ry in g t o ge t lo ve. T h ey m ay n o t have a cl ue h ow t o ge t it – b u t t h a t is t h e m o t iva t ion for thei r a ct iv it y.
That’s a big one, because it is very hard to face the fact that sometimes, we are partially at fault in situations.
I agree. When our values are questioned or threatened, we can be stubbornly defensive, or open to redefining what we thought was correct. What is a belief or perception you once held, that now you view differently?
Exa ctl y. You know u p u n t i l t h a t p o i n t , i f I h a d a b a d experi ence w i t h s o m e o n e – I a s s u m e d t h e r eas o n for that hap p e n i n g wa s t h a t I wa s de a lin g with somebody b e i n g a j e r k . An d t h e n h e re wa s thi s new i nfo s ay i n g t h a t t h e r e a r e T WO contr ibutors to eve r y i n t e ra c t i o n - I r e a liz e d if I had contri but e d s o me t h i n g d i f f e r e n t in a ny s itua ti on, I woul d ha ve g o t t e n d i f f e r e n t r e su lt s.
We ll, my p e rsp e ct ive t h ro u g h o u t life has total l y c h a n ge d , w h e t h e r it b e sp irit u a l, pol i ti cal , or re la t io n sh ip s. E ve ry d iscip lin e I ca n t hi nk of has re a lly c h a n ge d . I a m n o t a q u ic k lear ner. I ’ ve a lway s sa id it t a ke s m e 3 fa lls t o le ar n how to t a ke t h e n ex t st e p. S o a lo t o f t h in gs I ’ ve come t o g ra d u a lly, a n d co n t in u e t o in my ol d age; to co n st a n t ly le a r n .
That reminds me of something I read that said “learning is a constant process of unlearning things” Would you agree?
What was the greatest hardship you faced? How did you get through it, and did you gain anything positive in return?
Yes - i f you are op e n t o i t , a n d i f yo u q u est io n ever ythi ng, I thi nk yo u l e a r n u n t i l t h e d ay yo u d ie.
I’m su re I a m n o d iffe re n t t h a n m o st p e o pl e i n that t h e g re a t e st h a rd sh ip s in my life t u r n e d out to be t h e g re a t e st t e a c h in g m o m e n t s in my l i f e. I may h a ve cu rse d t h e m a t t h e m o m e n t , b u t I gai ned a lo t fro m t h e m . T h e g re a t e st h a rd sh ip probabl y. I d id 3 t o u rs in V ie t n a m in t h e 6 0 s. From that, I le a r n e d I wa s ca p a b le o f e n d u rin g a l ot mor e p a in , p hy sica lly a n d p syc h o lo g ica lly, than I t h o u g h t I wa s ca p a b le o f.
Of c ourse thi s does n’ t h a p p e n t o e ve r yo n e – m o st peop le seem to l i ke c o m i n g u p w i t h a n a u t ho rit y on eve ry subj ect. Th ey h a ve t h e i r r e l i g i o n , w h ic h is thei r spi ri tual a u t h o r i t y, a n d t h e i r p o l it ica l pa r ty, whi c h i s th e i r p o l i t i c a l a u t h o r i t y. T h ey h ave mom and d a d , w h i c h i s t h e i r id e a l relatio nshi p author i t y. An d t h ey s e t t l e i n t o t h e se c omfor tabl e author i t i e s, a t s o me p o i n t . S o t h ey quit questi oni ng wha t wo u l d m a ke t h e i r l i ve s m o re eff ec tive. W hen they are q u e s t i o n e d , t h ey q u o t e t h e ir author ity for the a n swe r. An d s o, s o m e p eo p le c an go through l i fe l e a r n i n g ve r y l i t t l e p a s t t h e ir ad olescence. Bu t others make i t a p o i n t t o ke e p l e a r n i n g t h e ir wh ole li fe.
That’s a great point – when you say it comes down to being open to questioning things. In regards to being flexible, how have your ambitions and priorities changed over time? I th ink we pri ori ti ze e ve r y t h i n g a c c o r d i n g t o o u r va lu e system. I wa s ra i s e d i n a h o me wh e re t h e gr eatest val ue was wh a t wo u l d p e o p l e t h i n k ? S o I was a ccul turated to u s e t h a t a s my va l u e s y st e m , and my yardsti c k on my own b e h a v i o r. It took about 40 yea r s fo r m e t o ge t t o t h e pla ce wh ere I coul d acce p t t h a t w h a t p e o p l e t h ou g h t was r eal l y none of my b u s i n e s s. I’ve al so l ear ned t h a t I s h o u l d n e ve r m a ke it a goa l to c hange any b o dy e l s e, o r a ny b o dy else ’s mind . I have total f r e e d o m i n ex p r e s s i n g my se lf IF I feel l i ke i t, but I d o n’ t f e e l a ny n e e d t o p ro ve anyone el se wrong. It is very freei ng to ge t t o a p o i n t w h e r e I d o n’t NE E D t o convi nce a nyo n e e l s e o f a ny t h i n g. T h e on ly thi ng i mpor tan t t o me wa s w h a t d i d I l ea r n – wh at di d I bel i eve?
A n d I le a r n e d t h a t p e o p le t a lk a bout thei r p ro b le m s – b u t I fin a lly d e cid e d t h a t the onl y p ro b le m a nyo n e re a lly h a s is h e a lt h - e i ther thei r ow n , o r so m e o n e ’s t h a t t h ey lo ve. E ve rythi ng el s e is ju st a sit u a t io n t h a t n e e d s yo u r a t t e nti on.
“Everything else is just a situation” I love that. I b e lie ve t h a t if yo u v iew e ve ry t h in g el s e as “a p ro b le m ” yo u r a p p ro a c h b e co m e s m uc h mor e c h a o t ic, a n d fe a rfu l, a n d in e ffe ct ive – than i f you ju st v iew it a s a sit u a t io n . A lo t o f t i mes, mos t t h in g s a re n’t e ve n p ro b le m s. A n d , we don’ t even h a ve t o d e a l w it h t h e m – it w ill p ro b abl y wor k it se lf o u t . A s lo n g a s yo u a re h e a lt hy and you a re n o t wo rry in g a b o u t so m e o n e yo u love bei ng h e a lt hy – it ’s ju st e ve ry d ay st u ff.
Final question: What do you find to be meaningful in life? I t h in k t h e o n ly m e a n in g fu l t h in g a n d the onl y p u rp o se I h a ve is my re la t io n sh ip s. Ther e i s n o t h in g e lse I sp e n d a ny t im e t h in k i ng about. T h e re la t io n sh ip s w it h my c h ild re n , and other p rim a ry p e o p le in my life. T h o se a re the onl y t h in g s I fe e l a n e e d t o b e ca re fu l about, or im p ro ve u p o n . I d o n’t h a ve a b u c ke t list – t h ey d o n’t m ake m uc h se n se t o m e. Yo u d o w h a t yo u d o in life, and when it ’s o ve r it s d o n e. Yo u d o n’t t a ke m e mor i es wi th yo u . If yo u h a ve so m e t h in g yo u a re compel l ed t o d o, t h e n d o it . If n o t , d o n’t .
My name is Branden Ratcliff, I am recently 30. I’ve lived in Southern California my entire life, and was born in LA. Vindata is my music project – I am a producer/DJ. It has been my passion project for the past four years.
BRA N D E N RATC L I FF 3 0 Y E A RS O L D
“E XPERIE NCE”
It’s important to recognize that – to understand which of the two is fueling your actions. So was this a big shift in your perspective? Ye s, it wa s. M y co n fid e n ce in my se lf was n’ t r eal l y t h e re b e fo re, ju st a b ig q u e st io n m a r k . I was doi ng it , b u t n o t fo r su re in my h e a r t t h a t t hi s was the rig h t p a t h . B u t n ow, it h a s b e co m e a utomati c – a n d t h e re a re so m a ny p e o p le in vo l ved that I ca n’t fa il. If I we re t o st o p, I wo u ld not onl y l et my se lf d ow n , b u t wo u ld le t o t h e r p e o p l e down as we ll.
So you are in the artistic field – do you think being raised in LA influenced that? D ef inite l y, especi al l y r i g h t n ow. L A i s g o in g th rou gh a huge t ra n s i t i o n i n b e c o mi n g t h e epic en t er of cul ture a n d a r t i n ge n e ra l . S o m a ny peop le from around t h e wo r l d a r e m o v i n g h e re and I’ve heard peo p l e r e f e r t o i t a s, “ t h e LA Ren aissance”.
Being in the artistic field, you have to take a lot of risks. Was that ever an obstacle, or have you always been a risk taker? T h at was a huge obs t a c l e. S o c i e t y h a s i t s way o f explaini ng real i ty –p e o p l e a r e a l way s t e l l i n g yo u wh at you SHOULD d o, a l l t h e t i m e. Yo u h a ve t h is doub t that eats at yo u , a n d t h i s i n s e c u r i t y a b o u t you r own tal ent or a b i l i t i e s, i n w h a t e ve r c r e a t ive f ield yo u are i n. I t wa s n’ t u n t i l r e c e n t l y t h a t I f elt like I have power o ve r t h a t . N ow I f e e l l ike I u n der stand - that i t’s j u s t a l i e. Pe o p l e h a ve m o re power t han they thi n k t h ey h a ve.
I agree. Are you referring to power over fear, and doubt? Rig ht. I t’s thi s duel i n g t h i n g – p e o p l e a c t o ff o f two em oti ons, l ove o r f e a r. S o me t i me s t h ey lo ve s omethi ng, but they d o n’ t l o ve i t e n o u g h t o l e t g o of fea r.
In your process of getting to where you are today – what are some moments you would categorize as turning points, that really shaped the direction of your life? I wo u ld say t h e d e a t h o f my G o d m other. She a lway s b e lie ve d in m e, e ve r sin ce I was a ki d. S h e d ie d a b o u t t e n ye a rs a g o, rig h t af ter hi gh sc h o o l. N ow, I re fle ct o n t h a t – a n d I t h i nk i t gi ves m e so m e so r t o f re a so n t o say, “h ey, you have t o d o t h is fo r h e r”. S h e is a m a jo r factor as to w hy I d o n’t g ive u p. I fe e l like I owe a l ot of my su cce ss t o h e r, a n d it s so m ew h a t o f a promi s e I h a ve t o h e r. B u t a t t h e t im e, I d id n’t k now how to co n vey w h a t I wa n t e d t o d o. I k n ew I wanted to d o so m e t h in g b ig w it h my life a ft e r sh e di ed, but t h a t wa s a ll.
What about when you do fail? Is there any value you can find in your “failures”? H a h a , I h a ve a few o f t h o se. B u t I d o f i nd val ue in A LL o f t h e m . E ve ry sin g le fa ilu re h a s l ed to my cu rre n t su cce ss. S o, I wa s re a lly in t o spor ts as a k id – b u t I wa s n e ve r g o in g t o b e a p rof es s i onal a t h le t e. It wa sn’t my first lo ve, like m u s i c. So that wa s a le sso n . S c h o o l wa s a le sso n . I am mor e of a se lf t a u g h t t y p e o f p e rso n . I lo ve sc hool , I l ove w h a t I le a r n e d – b u t t o b e co m e a prof es s i onal st u d e n t ? T h a t wa s n e ve r m e. I e ve n t ried acti ng! W h ic h wa s a fa ilu re w it h in a fa ilu re – I tr i ed i t b e ca u se sc h o o l wa sn’t wo r k in g o u t . B u t I ’ m not an a ct o r! It wa sn’t my p a ssio n .
Looking back on that hopping around, and the process of trying to pinpoint what you were meant to do – do you find any value in that? T h ere i s maj or val ue i n i t . Yo u j u s t g o t h ro ug h it all, to understand w h e r e yo u a r e s u p p o s e d t o b e. T h e val ue i s the ac t u a l ex p e r i e n c e a n d h a rd sh ip its elf. I t makes you s t ro n ge r, a n d yo u r s k i n t h ic ke r. E xper ienci ng that, a n d f a l l i n g o n yo u r k n ee s so many ti mes, that wi l l m a ke yo u s t ro n g. I ’ m n o t rea lly afrai d of any t h i n g a ny mo r e.
That’s a great point. Many people view it as “time wasted” rather than “valuable experience” – and it’s good to remember the value in the experience. Yes, time i s j ust the me a s u r e me n t . I t ’s n o t r e a lly rea l – experi ence i s w h a t i s r e a l .
Our priorities change over time as well. Right now, what would you say is your greatest motivation or inspiration? Grea test moti vati on – t h i s i s t o u g h , b e c a u s e I h a ve m ultip l e sources of mo t i va t i o n . M y m o t h e r a n d sister are both one o f my g r e a t e s t m o t i vat io n s. Bu t I al so use nega t i ve t h i n g s t o f u e l m e – like th e a bsence of my f a t h e r. I u s e t h a t a s p o sit ive motivati on.
You mentioned the absence of your father- did you learn to use that as motivation, or did it come naturally to you? No, I lear ned to use t h a t . T h e r e we r e t i me s w h e re a fa ther woul d have a t y p i c a l mo me n t , a n d t e a c h th eir son somethi ng – b u t my f a t h e r wa s n’ t t h e re. So I le ar ned i t on my ow n . M y mo m wa s a sin g le pa r en t and she h e l d e ve r y t h i n g d own ; we sur v ived. But the o t h e r t h i n g s t h a t a t ra d it io n a l fa mily woul d have – I me a n my s i s t e r a n d I ha d t o figur e i t out on our own . Hi s a b s e n c e t a u g h t m e t o be self- moti vated.
What would you say that you value or prioritize the most? Has that changed over time? Right now, wor k i s my p r i o r i t y. Vi n d a t a is everythi ng when i t c o me s t o t i me, a n d p r i o r i t iz in g. Family shoul d be nu mb e r o n e – a n d I ’ m a b o u t t o tra vel a l ot. So I ’ m t r y i n g t o s o a k u p mo r e t im e with my fami l y be fo r e I t ra ve l . I ’ m ve r y ca re e r focus e d – don’ t ha ve t i me fo r a ny t h i n g e l s e. M y wor k l i fe bal ance r i g h t n ow i s t i l t i n g – b u t pre t t y s oon , I want to say e ve n w i t h i n t h e n ex t c o u ple o f months, thi ngs wi l l b e d i f f e r e n t .
And why is that? O u r sin g le is d o in g re a lly we ll, a n d we j us t got sig n e d t o A M O n ly – t h e la rge st e le ct ro ni c booki ng a ge n c y in t h e wo r ld .
So you are at the cusp of that transition! Ya , d e fin it e ly. It ’s b e e n re a lly in t e ns e. A l ot o f g o o d t h in g s a re h a p p e n in g. A nd once e ve ry t h in g fu lly m a t e ria liz e s, I’ll be abl e to b a la n ce t h e o t h e r p rio rit ie s I’ve n e g lected for a w h ile. Re la t io n sh ip w ise, t h a t h a s sh if ted. A f ew ye a rs a g o, I wa s in a few re la t io n shi ps - and I b e lie ve t h a t t h ey we re a lit t le t o o h ig h on my l i s t o f p rio rit ie s. I co u ld h a ve fo cu se d m o r e on other t h in g s – b u t yo u live a n d yo u le a r n .
You said you live and you learn – what made you shift your perspective, or priorities? We ll, ge t t in g my h e a r t b ro ke n . It wa s the maj or t h in g t h a t sla p p e d m e in t h e fa ce. A t the end o f t h e re la t io n sh ip, I h a d t o d e a l w i th a r ude a wa ke n in g. A n d , I t h in k t h e u n ive rse was tel l i ng m e so m e t h in g – like h ey, yo u a re n ot s uppos ed t o b e g o in g d ow n t h a t p a t h . It s teer ed me rig h t b a c k o n t ra c k . Re la t io n sh ip s w il l be ther e la t e r. I d e fin it e ly t h in k t h e e n d of my l as t re la t io n sh ip s we re a h e a d s u p.
So that was a valuable hardship? R ig h t . It wa s d e fin it e ly a le a r n in g ex per i ence. I t b ro u g h t m e b a c k t o t h e rig h t p a t h .
So, what would you say gives your life purpose? Out of everything that you have experienced and learned so far? I wo u ld say, ju st b e in g a b le t o b e lie ve. I t does n’ t re a lly m a t t e r W H AT yo u b e lie ve in, but the a ct u a l a ct io n o f b e lie v in g, is t h e m o st val uabl e t h in g. E ve r. B e lie v in g in yo u rse lf, in a dei ty, i n fa m ily, w h a t e ve r it is. I t h in k t h a t is s omethi ng t h a t a lway s h a s b e e n t h e d riv in g fo rce.
You are a very open-minded and tolerant person. How do you handle people who don’t agree with your views, or are close minded? W h e n I wa s yo u n ge r I h a d m o re fi r e i n the b e lly. I u se d t o re sp o n d m o re ve h e mentl y to o p p o sit io n . N ow, I’m a lit t le b it m o re temper ed. I g u e ss t h ro u g h t im e yo u le a r n t o b e come mor e p h ilo so p h ica l; yo u le a r n t h e re a re ju s t goi ng to b e p e o p le like t h a t a n d yo u ca n’t h e lp i t.
What do you mean by more philosophical?
I wa s bor n in New Yor k City in Dec em be r o f 1922 an d I gr ew up in N ew Yor k on the lowe r e a st si de of M an h a ttan. When the War b ro ke o u t ( WWII) I en lis ted in the Airforc e, and wa s i n t h e A r my an d Airforc e for 3 years. Fo r tu n at ely wh ile in the ser vice, I befriende d a yo u n g man of my a ge -he lived in Los Angel e s, an d i t was agr eed w hen I cam e out of t h e s er v i c e I wou ld v isit him in CA. Whic h I d i d . I f el l i n love wit h t h e West Coast, and cam e b a c k for go od in 1946.
You previously mentioned your friend who lived in California was very influential. Can you talk a little bit about the impact he had on your life? I wa s str uc k by hi s i n t e l l e c t . He wa s a ve ry litera te person, he wa s f a i r l y we l l e d u c a t e d w it h a lot of i nteresti ng h o bb i e s - h e wa s a m u s icia n , a nd in troduced me t o Ja z z . He wa s a l s o a r e a d e r; I h ad n’t gone to co l l e ge a n d h a d n’ t g ra d u a t e d f rom h igh sc hool at t h e t i me, s o h e o p e n e d u p t h e h or izon for me i n l i t e ra t u r e, e d u c a t i o n , a n d e ve n in politi cs. He was a ve r y p ro g r e s s i ve a n d l i be ra l min ded person, and h i s n a m e wa s Pa u l M i l ey.
We ll, yo u ge t m o re t o le ra n t . Yo u re al i ze that first o f a ll, it ’s n o t a ll a b o u t yo u . T h a t’s the mai n t h e m e. T h e re a re o t h e r p e o p le, a n d ther e ar e o t h e r issu e s. I m ay n o t n e ce ssa rily a g re e w it h o p p o s i ng vi ews, b u t a t le a st I t ry t o u n d e rst a n d w h e r e they ar e co m in g fro m . I t ry t o b e m o re a n a lyti cal . That co m e s w it h t im e a n d a ge. W h e n I was younger I wo u ld n’t a llow my se lf t h a t lu x u ry, to be s o ge n e ro u s – yo u k n ow, t o t h in k so m e t hi ng better o r so m e t h in g g o o d a b o u t so m e o n e I di s agr eed w it h . B u t n ow I ca n .
In regards to dealing with hardship, you made a comment about not feeling too much of the lows, and too much of the highs, but instead remaining at a good, stable medium. Can you expand on that? What have you learned over the years? A lo t o f t h a t co m e s w it h a ge a n d m a tur i ty – but yo u h a ve t o h a ve a ce r t a in a m o u n t o f humi l i ty to k n ow t h a t t h e wo r ld d o e s n o t re vo lve around you. M y p h ilo so p hy isn’t u n iq u e in t h a t way – but I b e lie ve yo u h a ve t o t a ke life a s it c omes. You h a ve t o le a r n a b a la n ce a b o u t life. That’s not t o say yo u wo n’t ge t d e p re sse d e ver y once i n a w h ile, b u t d o n’t dwe ll o n it , a n d don’ t l et i t o ve r t a ke yo u . If yo u ca ll it su cce ss, I woul d s ay t h a t is my su cce ss.
“YOU HAVE TO HAV E A C E RT A I N A MO UN T O F HUM I LI T Y TO K N OW THAT T H E WOR L D D O E S N OT RE VO LVE A RO UN D YO U. ” Any advice for someone currently in the midst of a hard time in their life? N ot that I want to gi ve a d v i c e, b e c a u s e we a re a ll so in di vi dual i sti c a n d d i f f e r e n t f ro m e a c h o t h e r - but I can share wh a t wo r ke d fo r m e. S o m e o n e m ight say “thi s fl ood i s t h e wo r s t f l o o d t o h ap p e n sin c e 1964.” When I h e a r t h a t , I ’ l l t h i n k t o myself- “Ok, but we g o t t h ro u g h 1 9 6 4 . S o a s b a d as it was - we mana ge d t o s u r v i ve i t .” I a p p ly that phi l oso p hy i n e ve r yd ay l i f e. If yo u get up i n the mor n i n g a n d f e e l t e r r i b l e, t h in k ah ead and say, “I r e me mb e r a n o t h e r t i m e I fe lt t er ribl e – but some h ow, I g o t t h ro u g h t h e d ay.” I t’s goi ng to pass.
I love that. So you have a family - what was it like raising children, and instilling those values into the household, and in your children? Well, if I had to say t h e r e wa s a ny t h i n g I f e el I’ve ac c ompl i shed i n l i fe – wh i c h I h a ve n’ t d o n e t o o m u c h (l aughs) I wou l d l i ke t o t h i n k t h a t I ’ m a g o o d par en t . My wi fe and I h a ve t wo c h i l d r e n . I like to thi nk we i n s t i l l e d i n my s o n a n d my daug hter a feel i ng o f p ro g r e s s i ve t h o u g h t a n d t olerance –whi c h i s g ra t i f y i n g. B o t h my s o n a n d daug hter are wo n d e r f u l , o p e n mi n d e d , a n d t olerant peopl e. W h a t c o u l d b e b e t t e r t h a n t h a t ?
AA RON BAU M G ARTE N 91 Y E ARS O LD
“OPE N MIND”
A big reason why I am doing these interviews is to gauge the difference across time in our values and priorities. So what would you say you value or prioritize most now? B e in g in my 9 0 s n ow I d o n’t h a ve t h e des i r e, wi l l o r e n e rgy t o d o t h in g s I wo u ld like t o do. My bi g t h rill u se d t o b e t ra ve l – I wa s fo r t u n ate enough t o d o a lo t o f t ra ve l. I’ve b e e n t o m a ny countr i es a n d se e n a lo t o f t h e wo r ld , in t e ra ct e d wi th many p e o p le.
If you had to look back at the accumulation of your experiences, what are some of the biggest lessons you’ve learned? Or key pieces of advice? S o m e t h in g m a jo r we h a ve n’t t o u c hed upon is h e a lt h . H e a lt h is a lway s t h e e l ephant i n t h e ro o m – it ’s so m e t h in g we m u st al ways be co n ce r n e d a b o u t . N o m a t t e r w h a t your other in t e n t io n s a re, if yo u r h e a lt h isn’t t h e re, you can’ t a cco m p lish m o re. S o I’m lu c k y a n d g ra t e f ul to have m a in t a in e d a g o o d p a r t o f it , in t h is age i n l i f e. B y a ll a cco u n t s, I sh o u ld b e a sh rive l ed up ol d m a n ( la u g h s) .
“How can I help you?” Answering this question is what drives my intrinsic bliss; I feel great. I currently live in San Diego, California and I believe that we exist to make art. I follow my passions and am always looking for a way to catalyze creativity.
J ES S ICA HAN 2 6 Y EAR S OL D “LEAR NING”
Name 1 or 2 moments in your past you would categorize as “turning points”. How did this mold you as an individual, and how has it shaped your path in life? G rowing up, I assu m e d I wo u l d b e l i v i n g in S an Di ego the rest o f my l i f e wi t h my m o m, b u t I wanted to branc h o u t a n d t ra ve l . I a p p lie d for th e Busi ness P ro g ra m a t t h e Un i ve r s i t y o f Hawa i’i , and I got i n . I wa s s o s t o ke d , b e c au se t h at was my fi rst st e p t owa r d t ra ve l i n g. W h ile I was l i vi ng i n Ha wa i ’ i , I v i s i t e d bo t h Jap a n and Gol d Co a s t , Au s t ra l i a , a n d I d e c id e d t o s tu dy abroad the r e. I ve n t u r e d t o m a ny p a r t s o f A ustral i a, al ong w i t h New Z e a l a n d , F i j i , a n d B ali. Duri ng my l as t s e m e s t e r a t UH, I wa s a b le t o travel to Amste r d a m , B r u s s e l s, Pa r i s, a n d Lond on. I compl eted my l a s t wr i t i n g i n t e n s i ve in Ch ina .
In your opinion, what was the value or purpose of that experience? I m u st say t h a t t h e wo r ld is t h e b e st cl as s room. T ra v e lin g h a s o p e n e d u p m y e y e s – it t aught me a b o u t o t h e r cu lt u re s, a r t , p u b lic t ra n spor tati on, a n d d iffe re n t way s o f life. I le a r n e d a l ot a b o u t my se lf, a n d I le a r n e d t o b e m uc h mor e g ra t e fu l. I’ve a lso le a r n e d t o n o t make a ssu m p t io n s b e ca u se yo u n e ve r k n ow what wi l l h a p p e n . Yo u a re b e t t e r o ff n o t p u tti ng that e n e rgy in t o t h e wo r ld , so st ay p o sit ive and l ove y o u r life .
“ Often times, the value of an experience is only revealed long after we have coped with it. What was the greatest hardship you faced, and how did you get through it? Did you gain anything positive in return? T h e g reatest hard s h i p I f a c e d wa s b e i n g in a bus iness-partnershi p w i t h a p e r s o n I ’ l l ca ll, “ Mr. X”. He was sup p o s e d t o b e m y m e n t or a n d teac h me the ways o f r u n n i n g a n e - c o mm e rce bus iness, i nstead h e w a s u n f o r t u n a t e l y a v e ry c los e m i nded i ndi v i d u a l . F r o m t h i s I l e a r n e d y o u h ave to get over y o u r e g o a n d o p e n u p y o u r mind ; choose to l ear n f r o m a n y o n e a n d e v e r y o n e . H a vin g to work wi t h M r . X wa s h a r d , b u t i t m a d e me become a strong e r b u s i n e s s w o ma n . No b o d y h as time for peopl e l i k e M r . X i n t h e w o r l d , w h o was looki ng for a qu i c k a n d e a s y wa y t o m a k e a lot of money. There i s n o q u i c k a n d e a s y wa y . It ’s c alled hard work, d e d i c a t i o n , p a s s i o n , i n s p i r a t io n and k nowl edge.
I M UST S AY T HAT T HE WOR L D IS T HE B E ST C LA S SROO M . Name a belief or perception you once held, that was completely wrong. Why did you change your perception? What do you believe now? D u rin g my se n io r ye a r o f h ig h sc h o o l, my mom got m e a B M W 3 2 8 i in re p la ce o f my M e rcur y Sabl e S t a t io n wa g o n . I lo ve d my st a t io n wa g o n, I cal l ed h im W h it e Lig h t n in g. T h e n ew ca r d id n ot i nter es t m e b e ca u se I d id n o t ca re fo r m ater i al i s ti c p o sse ssio n s. T h e n , my m o m so ld W h it e Li ghtni ng a n d I wa s fu rio u s a t h e r. S h e wa s so conf us ed a s t o w hy I d id n o t a p p re cia t e h e r n ice ges tur e. A ft e r t h in k in g a b o u t it , I re a liz e d t h e t ype of car yo u d rive m ay b e a st a t u s t h in g t o so m e peopl e, b u t I ju st d o n’t ca re fo r it . I’d ra t h e r u se that car p ay m e n t t owa rd a va ca t io n o r fe st iva l. H owe ve r, I d o a p p re cia t e my m o m ’s har d wor k a n d t h o u g h t fu ln e ss, a n d it w a s w ro n g of me to ge t a n g ry a t h e r fo r d o in g a n ice ge st u r e. I t i s ok t o o p e n ly re ce iv e g ift s.
What is your greatest motivation and inspiration in life? What or who do you value/prioritize the most? Have your answers always been the same? When did they change? My greatest moti va t i o n a n d i n s p i r a t i o n i n life a re t h e fre a k in g a m a z in g p e o p le I su rro u n d mys el f with. Every person I h a ve a p e r s o n a l c o n n e ct io n w it h , in so m e way, h a s b e e n a n in sp ira t io n t o me. I fin d mysel f tr ul y l u c k y t o b e i n t h e p o s i t i o n I a m in , t o d ay. I t h a n k my m o m fo r t h is b e ca u se w i thout h er, I woul d not be w h e r e I a m a n d wh o I am . My answer has al way s b e e n t h e s a me b e c au se e ve r sin ce I wa s ca p a b le o f k n ow in g t h e co n cept of h ar d w ork and stay i n g p o s i t i v e - my mo m w a s a n d st ill is t h e h a rd e st w o rk in g , p o sit iv e p er s on I k n ow.
M y n a me is E r ica Adam s, and my age i s… ( pau se) 77 ( lau gh s) I was bor n in Ger m any. We esc aped N a z i G e r many in 1940 , and the only por t o p e n t o u s was Sh an gh ai. I lived in Shanghai fro m 1940- 1947, came to Am eric a in 1947 w h e n I wa s 10. We were very for tunate, we l e ft G e rman y on t h e la st boat out.
E RIC A ADAM S 77 YEARS OLD
“LOVE”
Do you remember your time there well? Yes, it was very har d – my fo l k s we r e d e a f m u t e s. Ther e were 5 of us l i v i n g i n o n e ro o m i n S h a ng h a i. My mom, dad, g ra n d m a , s i s t e r, a n d I. In Sha ng hai , my fol k s h a d i t ro u g h , b u t a s a c hild you don’ t rea l l y t h i n k a b o u t i t . Yo u t a ke ever ythi ng for grant e d .
Are there any difficult hardships in your life that stand out to you? And is there value in it? Well, I had 3 ki ds by t h e t i m e I wa s 2 1 ye a rs old. Someti mes, i t wa s t o u g h . I wa s t h e f i r st o f my fr iends to get m a r r i e d – I m e t my h u s b an d a t 1 6 , on a bl i nd date, i n 1 9 5 3 . T h e wo r l d wa s a lo t d iff erent back then . I h a d my f i r s t c h i l d a t 17 . Another hard ti me wa s wh e n my h u s b a n d wa s d r inking. My husban d wa s a n a l c o h o l i c . I a lm o st d ivor c ed hi m, but my s o n Al a n a c t u a l l y p e r s ua d e d us to become C h r i s t i a n s. M y h u s b a n d q u it d r inking, and became a d i f f e r e n t ma n .
Alan : We were bro u g h t u p i n a h o me t h a t wa s f ree o f rel i gi on, a n d I a l w a y s h a d a h u n g e r to k n ow the tr uth. I h a d a d ra ma t i c c o n versio n exp er ience i n ‘ 76, a n d s l o w l y my m o m, d a d , b r oth e rs, and si ster s a l l c o n v e r t e d t o Ch r i s t i an it y . It impacted my fam i l y a l o t . You have such an open and optimistic demeanor. Is that something you’ve developed with time? My p ersonal i ty has c h a n g e d , I wa s v e r y q u ie t a nd shy when I was yo u n ge r, b u t n ow I ’ m ve ry op en and fri endl y. M o s t p e o p l e w h e n yo u ge t t o ta lk ing to them, wi l l h a ve yo u r e a l i z e t h ey a re r eally very ni ce pe o p l e. Yo u ’ l l a l way s f i n d o n e o r two s tinkers, but mo s t a r e g o o d .
Can you think of any perceptions you once held, that now you disagree with? You mentioned your religious views changed. Anything else? We ll p re ju d ice re a lly ge t s t o m e. I al ways b e lie ve d G o d m a d e u s e q u a l. We ju st h a ppen to be b o r n in d iffe re n t p la ce s. Pe o p le a re p r ej udi ced, a n d I’v e a lw a y s fe lt st ro n g ly a g a in st it. B u t , a s yo u ge t o ld e r, t h in g s c h a n ge. You ar e m o re o p e n – it fin a lly d a w n s o n yo u w hat r eal l y m a t t e rs. I t h in k I h a ve c h a n ge d in t h at r es pect q u it e a b it . Yo u h a ve t o b e m o re t o le ra nt, bel i eve m e. T h e re a re a co u p le o f p e o p le t h a t r ub me the w ro n g w a y – b u t y o u h a v e t o le a rn t o keep cool .
So you learned to let things go? E x a ct ly . Y o u h a v e t o . A s I g e t o ld e r, I don’ t know h o w m u ch I a p p re cia t e t h is co u n t ry h e re. Peopl e t a k e A m e rica fo r g ra n t e d . M y a p p re c i ati on f or fre e d o m is h u g e .
Are there any differences in what you value or prioritize? What do you regard to be the most meaningful? T o m e , m y fa m ily is t h e m o st m e a n in g fu l . A f ter my h u sb a n d p a sse d a w a y – if it w a sn ’t fo r my ki ds I d o n ’t k n o w w h a t I w o u ld h a v e d o n e .
Alan : S h e ’s t h e k in d o f m o m w h o woul d do a n y t h in g fo r h e r k id s.
“I ALWAYS BEL IE VE D G O D M A D E US EQ UA L . W E J U ST HA P P E N TO B E BO R N I N DIFF E RE N T P LA C E S. ” That’s a good quality in a mother. Well, when you bec o me a mo m, y o u ’ l l k n o w. T h e re a r e d ays they drove m e c ra z y – b u t I t h i n k I g rew with them. Di dn’ t I ?
Alan : You di d grow u p wi t h u s. Yo u g o t t h r u st in to motherhood ea r l y, yo u g o t t h r u s t i n m a rria ge ea r ly wi th a husba n d w h o wa s a n a l c o h o l i c. A n d you had to try to m a i n t a i n o r d e r, wi t h a ma n t h a t wa s al ways out of o r d e r . Y o u we r e v e r y y o u n g b ut you were grow i n g u p , s u r v i v i n g , a n d t r yin g t o b e a mother at the s a m e t i me . Y o u h a d a lo t o n your pl ate, and tha t w a s n ’ t e a s y . Tha t is a l ot for a n y b o d y , a n d mo s t pe o p le nowa days woul d q u i t b e c a u s e m a r r i a g e is so d isp osabl e – but y o u s t a y e d . An d y o u ma d e it wor k .
It’s interesting to hear Alan’s perspective on you as a mother. As a son, you can appreciate everything she did – although she down played her accomplishments. Alan : M m h m m . T h e re we re a lo t o f c hal l enges t h a t sh e d id n’t g o in t o. G o in g t h ro u g h al l thos e lo n g a n d d ifficu lt sp o t s, w h e re m o st p e opl e woul d t h row in t h e t owe l – sh e a n d my d a d st uc k i t out. A n d e ve n t u a lly, t h in g s wo r ke d o u t . T h ei r r i c hes t ye a rs we re a ft e r t h e t u r m o il – a n d t h at i s when w e b e ca m e t h e m o st clo se ; a t t h e e n d . Erica : H e p a sse d a w a y ju st a ft e r h e t u rned 60. Alan : A lo t o f p e o p le m iss o u t o n t h a t , nowadays, p e o p le a t t h e first sig n o f p ro b le m s w il l bai l on t h e m a rria g e . R a t h e r t h a n fig h t in g fo r i t. Erica : O n ce h e b e ca m e cle a n a n d sober , he b e ca m e m y b e st frie n d . Did you ever see that coming? N o , I d id n ’t . B u t a ft e r it a ll, h e b e ca m e my bes t frie n d .
K Y LE M C C LURE 3 0 Y E A RS O L D
“OPPORTUNIT Y”
Name 1 or 2 moments in your past you would categorize as “turning points”. How did this mold you as an individual, and how has it shaped your path in life? A t t he age of 20 I d e c i d e d I wa n t e d t o j o in t h e C o a st G u a rd . I h a d t h e p a p e rwo r k a ll fille d out, th e date set to s ay my g o o d - bye s. T h e n I g o t a D U I w h e n I wa s o u t w it h so m e frie n d s. T h e C oas t Gu ard wi l l not ta ke a nyo n e w h i l e t h ey a re in a ny k in d o f p ro b a t io n st a t u s fro m t h e co u r t s and my probati on was 4 ye a r s l o n g. M y d r e a m h a d b e e n cr u sh e d a n d my p a t h I t h o u g h t wa s m e ant for me was now over a s I k n ew i t . I happened to b e a t t h e c o u r t h o u s e 1 ye a r la t e r fo r a sp e e d in g t ic ke t w h e n t h e j udge u n expectedl y aske d , “Ar e yo u s t i l l t r y i n g t o jo in t h e C o a st G u a rd ?” A p p a re n t ly h e h a d seen i n my fi l e that I was t r y i n g t o ge t t h e DUI pro b a t io n d ro p p e d fro m a n o t h e r ju d ge a ye a r p rior s o I may j oi n. He dro p p e d t h e p ro b a t i o n fo r o n ly 4 m o n t h s, ju st e n o u g h t im e fo r m e t o re su bmi t the pa perwor k and j o i n . I a l way s t h o u g h t t h a t wa s my se co n d c h a n ce, so m eb o dy ’s way o f s ayi ng, “ H ere’s your seco n d c h a n c e, n ow d o n’ t s crew t h is u p.”
What was the greatest hardship you faced, and how did you get through it? Did you gain anything positive in return? Not many people k n ow t h i s a b o u t m e b u t g o in g t h ro u g h m id d le sc h o o l/ h ig h sc h o o l my m o t h er, who I lived wi th, was p r e t t y p o o r. S h e wo r ke d h e r b u t t o ff b u t it wa sn’t e n o u g h . We st a r t e d in a hous e wh ic h went down t o a c o n d o, t h e n d own t o a n a p a r t m e n t , t h e n e ve n t u a lly e n d e d u p liv in g w i th my grandparents. W h i l e my c l o s e f r i e n d s we re b u y in g n ew b ike s a n d sk a t eb o a rd s I wa s u su al l y l ef t with my brothers h a n d - m e - d ow n s o r u s i n g o n e o f t h e ex t ra o n e s my frie n d s h a d . W hen Hi gh Sc ho o l s t a r t e d , k i d s we r e a l r e a dy d riv in g lift e d t r u c k s t h a t t h e ir p a re n t s h a d bought th em as a gi ft fo r p a s s i n g t h e i r d r i v i n g t e st a n d I wa s ge t t in g rid e s t o sc h o o l w it h frie nds. My juni or year, I had t o g o o n h o me s c h o o l so I co u ld wo r k fu ll t im e t o h e lp my m o t h e r p ay t he bi l l s. Seni or year I had e n o u g h mo n ey s a ve d t o ge t b a c k in p u b lic sc h o o l a n d b u y a 1 0 0 0 d o lla r H onda to get me around . I s t i l l h a d t o l e a ve by lu n c h e ve ry d ay t o g o wo r k fu ll t im e in st e a d o f p lay af ter sc hool spor ts l i ke mo s t o f my f r i e n d s, b u t I le a r n e d t h e va lu e o f a d o lla r a t a yo u n g a ge. I tol d mysel f th e n t h a t I wo u l d n e ve r fo llow in my m o t h e r’s fo o t st e p s. I le a r n e d if yo u want somethi ng, you’ ve g o t t o wo r k h a r d a n d ge t it yo u rse lf b e ca u se n o b o dy ’s g o in g t o ge t if for you.
Name a belief or perception you once held, that was completely wrong. Why did you change your perception? What do you believe now? W hen i t came to re l a t i o n s h i p s a t a yo u n g a ge I a lways fel t there wa s n o n e e d t o r u s h a n y t h in g . W ha t was the poi n t ? I f i t ’s r e a l l y a s e a r c h fo r you r soul mate the n w h a t a r e t h e c h a n c e s o f fin din g them at s u c h a yo u n g a ge ? I d id n’t rea lly gi ve a l ot of r e l a t i o n s h i p s a g o o d c ha n ce beca use I was too wo r r i e d a b o u t s t a r t i n g a g o o d c ar eer or getti ng o n my f e e t . I t wa s h a r d fo r m e to be fai thful and m o s t d ay s I wo u l d ra t h e r ju st go ou t wi th my fri e n d s o r f a m i l y i n s t e a d o f p lay boyfr iend and gi ve my g i r l f r i e n d t h e a t t e n t io n she pr o babl y deserv e d . Now that I ’ m ol de r I r e a l i z e h ow m a ny g o o d relatio nshi ps I l e t s l i p t h ro u g h my f i nge rs beca use I wasn’ t l o o k i n g t o s e t t l e d o w n . As y o u get older your soul ma t e d o e s n o t ge t a ny e a sie r to f ind and maybe t r y i n g a l i t t l e h a r d e r t owa rd a relati onshi p i nstea d o f d e c i d i n g t o a l w a y s w a it for s omethi ng better, wo u l d h a ve b e e n a be t t e r way to approac h thi n g s.
“IF YOU WANT S OM E T HI N G, YO U ’VE G OT TO WORK HA RD AND G ET IT YOU R S EL F. . N OBODY’S G OING TO G ET I T FOR YOU. ”
What is your greatest motivation and inspiration in life? G o o d frie n d s a n d fa m ily h a ve a lways been im p o r t a n t t o m e, b u t o n ce yo u m o ve away f rom h o m e a n d o n ly g e t t o se e t h e m o n ce e v e r y coupl e o f y e a rs y o u re a liz e h o w m u ch y o u m iss them. M e e t in g g re a t p e o p le t h ro u g h a ll of my t ra ve ls, a ll t h e p la ce s I h a ve b e e n st ati oned, i s a we so m e, b u t t h e t h in g a b o u t t h e m ilit ar y i s they a lway s le a ve a n d yo u e ve n t u a lly h a ve t o s ay your g o o d -bye s t o ye t a n o t h e r clo se p e rson i n your life . G e t t in g b a c k h o m e, lin in g u p a g o o d j ob, then se t t lin g d ow n a n d b e in g a b le t o se e my f r i ends o r fa m ily a ny t im e I wa n t is my m o t iva t ion. A ni ce B B Q o n t h e we e ke n d a n d e ve ryo n e co mi ng over, b e in g a b le t o se e my n ie ce a n d n e phew grow u p a n d k n ow w h o t h e ir u n cle is, a ct u al l y bei ng a b le t o m a ke it t o my frie n d s we d d in g i ns tead of b e in g d e p loye d g o d k n ow s w h e re. W hen you’ r e yo u n ge r yo u a lway s h a ve yo u r h e a d in the cl ouds b u t t h e n so m ew h e re a lo n g t h e way you r eal i ze it ’s t h e sim p le st t h in g s y o u m iss t h e m o st.
NYTYLY ARTIST LOCATION MEDIUM MAKING ART
NYTYLY BROOKLYN, NY SOUND FROM AGE 7+
FEATURED
&
PHOTOGRAPHED BY ELLE CHEN
Natalie, or as most know her, NYTYLY was born in Beirut, Lebanon, and ventured out to America back in 2008 to study art in Portland, Oregon. She then found her way to New York to pursue her dreams in music, and in 2013, our paths crossed. Creating is more than a passion for NYTYLY, it’s a lifestyle. She can’t but help create the most beautiful, moving music and visual art. From the first moment I saw NYTYLY perform in a back yard party, I knew I needed to learn more about her. Her sound was so ethereal and dreamy, and her melodies hypnotizing. When she performs, you can really feel that she is performing straight from her heart. I knew from that moment, this girl had something special.
NYTYLY.BANDCAMP.COM
ARTIST
FEATURE
INTERVIEW
What recurring themes and emotions resonate in your music? What do you hope listeners come away with after listening to your music?
All artists have a creative process of their own. What is yours? Where do you draw inspiration?
T h e t ru t h i s b ecau s e I en d u red war ( l i v e d i n Du b ai ) an d h av e ex p eri en ce m an y t r a u m a t i c i n ci d en ces . Art fo r m e i s h o w I p roc e s s l i f e . I d o n o t u n d ers t an d s i t u at i o n s m e n t a l l y i n t h e way m o s t p eo p l e d o . I am a v er y p a t i e n t p ers o n i n o d d way s . M y p ro ces s i n v o l v e s u n d ers t an d i n g ev en t s an d t h e i d ea t h a t w h e n I am creat i n g , s o m et h i n g m u ch b i g g e r t h a n I i s o p erat i n g t h ro u g h m e an d I am s i m p l y al l o wi n g t h e fl o w t o d i ct at e an d co n d u c t t h e s h i p . I h av e n o co n t ro l o v er h o w, wh a t , w h e r e , u n l es s I as k t h e p o wer I b o w t o creat iv e l y. M y m i n d i s s eco n d ary, b u t al s o n eces s ary.
I fo u nd out f r om a serie s of unc ontro l l ed e x p e riments that words a nd music c omb i n ed a re l i ke magic s pe lls. W ha te ve r messa ge y o u p u t o ut will r eturn to you like a boome ran g . In d i scover ing the impac t this c re ated i n m y l i f e, I m ade a focuse d choice to s t o p c o m p l aining and whimpering about shit a b o u t m y “ br oken hear t” a nd pulling it togeth er t o c h a n n el a higher spirit than the one invest ed i n m y p er s onal inter ests. I did this inte ntion al l y t o g i ve the lis teners positive magic . W h i t e sp e l l s , is what I c all the re sona ting rec ur ri n g e n e rg y f ield. I w ant and hope liste ne rs to feel a t o n e with a high, benevolent forc e of g o o d p o w e r. I w ant to e mpower pe ople positiv el y, w i t h clear mes s ages. I ditc he d the cry p t i c d a b b l ing w ith the da rk be ca use tha t i s a d e a t h w is h, emotiona lly and psyc hological l y. B e s t t o give the light.
M y i n s p i rat i o n art i s t i cal l y i s em pa t h y a n d a y earn i n g t o co n n ect t o l o v e. No t t h e l o v e o f m an t o m an , b u t t h e l o v e o f Go d t o m a n ; t h e h i g h es t p l ace. I wan t t o b e t h er e a l l t h e t i m e. Heav en i s t h e wo rd . P eo p l e ar e a n g e l s . S p i ri t s . Art i s t h e m at eri al i za t i o n o f al ch em i cal em o t i o n al i m ag i n at i o n , be c o m i n g m at t er. It fas ci n at es m e t o n o en d !
You have such a great aura and energy about you when you perform; a natural on stage. Describe what goes on in your head while you are performing. What’s going through your head?
H a h a ! I n tr uth, I fee l I am usua lly in a wh o l e d i fferen t wo rl d an d b ei n g o n s t ag e feel s l i k e I a m t o u c h ing bas e with Earth fina lly. My head i s an i n t eres t i n g p l ace. P art o f m e h o p es m y f u t u r e h u sb a nd is watching a nd I am preparing t o wo o h i s s p i ri t … t h e l es s ro m an t i c s i d e, m o re s p i r i t u a l si d e , is in aw e of the audience . P eople are s o m y s t eri o u s an d b eau t i fu l . I feel a s en s e o f h o n o r i f e v e n one per s on is a ttentive ly listening . Wh en ev er I am ab o u t t o wal k t o t h e s t ag e, I t h i n k o f w h e re I am f r om and how long the journey h as b een t o t h e d ream . B efo re I p l ay, I as k Go d t o t a k e fu l l c harge of all fac ulties tha n I be come an o b s erv er t o o . An act i v e o n e. It i s a m i racl e , m u s i c . T h a t ’s us ually w hat I a m thinking. “How i s t h i s s o b eau t i fu l ? L o o k at h o w b eau t i fu l ev er y o n e i s ! ”
N
Y
T
Y
L
Y
INTERVIEW
Face it, being an artist, you are going to have a mental block at one point. What do you do when you reach one?
H mm m. Tr uthfully, my me ntal block s o ccu r wh en d eal i n g wi t h h u m an s , b u t art , I a m b les s ed! Ar t and music are the alle viat es o f al l b l o ck ag es t o m e. B u t i f y o u m ean , l i k e a “ stucknes s ” in the proc ess? I drop it co m p l et el y an d fo rg et i t . I co m m u n e wi t h t h e s u n a n d m oon. I think of my fa mily a nd ho w m u ch I l o v e t h em an d t h e p eo p l e I m eet an d h o w d reamy it all is. I fe el immense gra tit u d e, ev en i n m y d ark es t m o m en t s , t h en I t h an k G o d fo r br eathing, then I go bac k to my “ s t u ck n es s ” an d fi n d ex ci t em en t i n n ewn es s . An d , u p w e go! I t s tarts to flow again. P ra ye r, m ed i t at i o n , an d s i l en ce res t art t h e p ro ces s a n e w. J olts of energy in quie t. What’s in store for NYTYLY and the future of your music?
We ll, a good ma gician never revea ls t h ei r s ecret s . T h e en d g o al i s wo rl d p eace. It w i l l h a ppen. You will be there too Elle . Heh eh eh e. Oh , an d a v i n y l rel eas e s o o n !
Now lets say it’s your last breath, what’s your tombstone going to say to the world?
N atalie s eem s to still be a live , de fyi n g al l l o g i c an d reas o n . I am a red u n d an t p i e c e o f ro ck. Someone turn me into a table or s o m et h i n g . T h i s l ad y i s i m m o rt al !
N
Y
T
Y
L
Y
U P L I F T This collection came about as a method of capturing the strength and beauty in the female for m. I hoped to explore this, while showcasing the auras of women I personally consider beautiful and strong. My desire was to lear n the ways they consider themselves inter nally beautiful, and how they might c hoose to por tray suc h strength in f ront of a camera. Through my wor k I focused on exposing the dance between their passions and how I might reveal their message by painting on a very intimate, and personal canvas. Canvases with a hear tbeat provide an entirely new c hallenge; one in whic h creates an entirely different experience for the ar tist and m use. This collection is about belief, faith, and passion . When I visualized this experience I asked myself, “How do these passionate ladies view their auras? Do they believe in their auras?� What I experienced was not only a comm unication between myself, the ar tist , and these strong women, the models por trayed in eac h photograph , but an even fur ther understanding of mind, body, and soul. The result of this comm unication is within eac h mar k on canvas. It is a dance of passion, color, and life. The end result is a celebration of these strong women selected for this project, with means in ar tistically suppor ting every strong woman of this wor ld. It is my hope that our creation is bold, colorful, and honest.
When viewing eac h story, I hope you ask yourself: Who am I? What makes me? Whi c h colors am I? What is within my aura? These are strong, talented, and, beautiful women in our collaborative translation.
- Ngene Mwaura | Ar tist
A COLLABORATIVE STORY ARTIST NGENE MWAURA PHOTOGRAPHED BY SHEENA SNYDER MUSES ANITA BANUELOS LINDSAY CARRON IIIIYA DUZHINA TAY LOR STEPHENS JAMIE WARNER
An i t a B a n u e l o s
[ M ] Cer amics, drawing, painting , p h o t o g rap h y, wo o d , fl o ra, fau n a, recy cl ab l es
H o n e s t y, t he A rts, musi c , d anc i ng, a rtistic e xpre ssio n swimming, trying to ma ke a liv in g o f f of my art i sti c c reati ons inspire d by na ture a nd huma nity, ro ck climbing, an d adve nt ure. T h is e x p eri enc e = Inspi rat i on, and mo tiva tio n o f fre e e xpre ssio n; witho ut fe a r , wit h o u t hesi t at i on, w i thout l i mi t a tio ns o f o ne s true spirit. Expe rie nce .
B e in g h eard , g et ti ng our ow n m e ssa ge s o ut the re with o ur la ngua ge , o ur bo dy, so u n ds. Its l i ke t ap-d anc i ng st e ps. F a cia l e xpre ssio ns. We , a s wo me n, a re to o h ar d o n oursel ves b ec ause of the me dia . We ne e d to fe e l e mpowe re d in o ur unique dive r s it y. I d anc e. A l l sorts. I’ m curre ntly ta king fla me nco ; my fo rm o f the ra py. I le t eve r ythi ng out and stomp my fe e t. All tha t a nge r, a ll tha t sa dne ss, fe a r.. I le t it o u t r ight t here. I’ m t h e onl y surv i vor of tri p l et s. I wa s in a n incuba to r a nd fe d thro ugh a tube fo r t h e fi rst 6 months of my l i fe be ca use I wa s kind o f the runt, I wa s la cking n u t r it io n i n t he womb . S o, for 6 mo nths I wa s cove re d with I V s. They we re eve r ywhere; my feet , my head , my ha nds. I ha ve a sca r o n my sto ma ch which r e m in ds me of t hi s ex p eri enc e , eve n if I ca nno t re me mbe r a nd it he lps to de scr ibe my nat ure; t he way I re a ct to situa tio ns. We a s pe o ple wa nt to fe el co n n e ct ed i n some way. W hi c h ta ke s it ba ck to the spirit wo rld, it’s how we a re u lt im at el y c onnec t ed . When you’re a child, yo u know so much whe the r pe o ple r e aliz e it or not, or w hether ad ults be lieve it o r no t. I f we re ca ll o ur childho o d , we u n de rstood thi ng s. Our sense s we re sha rp. Maybe we didn’t unde rsta nd what p e o p le were sayi ng w i t h word s, but we se nse d the e ne rgy. It is s o easy to forg et w here we co me fro m. I ’m gra te ful. I use d to be a sha me d o f m y sc ar, b ut I emb rac e i t. I am tha nkful now, mo re tha n eve r. I ’ve a lways be e n t h an k f u l b ut I was emb arrassed to show the sca r a s a child. But now, it’s just m y sto r y. S o methi ng I had to g o t hro ugh to ma ke it. My o ppo rtunity I gue ss. My way to sh ar e t hi s l i fe. W ho know s how the ne xt o ne s go ing to be . But ultima te ly, with eve ry e x p e r ie nc e we l earn; we g row.
Li n d s a y C a r r o n
[ W] LindsayC arron.com [ M ] Ballpoint pe n.
S t r iv in g toward my very ful l est po te ntia l, sha ring my gifts with the wo rld. T h is e x peri enc e = A physi c al manife sta tio n o f Nge ne ’s visio n so he might se e his cr e at io n c ome to l i fe b efore hi m .
I’ m an arti st. I’ ve b een d raw i ng , pa inting, a nd cre a ting my e ntire life . I ’m he re with N g e n e a nd was fort unat e enoug h to me e t him a t a C re a te F ixa te show, downtown. T h ey’ r e ki nd of ex p eri mental shows. I saw Nge ne a nd sa id to myse lf, “I ne e d to ta lk to h im . ” I saw hi s art work and wa nte d to ta lk with him eve n mo re . I ’m so gla d I did. I t allowe d a c ompl et el y g reat rel atio nship to blo sso m a nd we ’ve be e n sha ring in o u r cr e at ive sp ac e for a w hi l e now. Ge tting to know o ne a no the r’s style s. They’re ve r y dif fe r e nt styl es. We ac t ual l y c o lla bo ra te d o n a pie ce , I ke e p it o n my wa ll. Now we ’ r e co l l ab orati ng ag ai n. I do a l ot of work i n c onjunc t i o n with o rga niza tio ns. Mo st o f my a rtwo rk is ve ry co m m u ni ty b ased , i t s meant to uplift a nd inspire ; to e duca te a nd o pe n dia lo gue. T h e wo rk I d o w i th wol ves i s fo r The C a lifo rnia Wo lf C e nte r, in me a ns of e du cat ing the pub l i c on t he spe cie s a nd how impo rta nt a pe x pre da to rs a re to a sys t e m i n nature. You take out the a pe x pre da to r a nd a lo t o f things suffe r. We h o p e to fost er that und erstanding, be ca use the re is po te ntia l fo r C a lifo rnia to h ave wild wol ves ag ai n. We need to ma ke sure the public do e s no t fe a r the a nimal bu t to und erst and . The art work is in me a ns o f o pe ning co nve rsa tio n. This give s m e an o pp ort uni ty to tal k w i t h the m a nd sha re info rma tio n. Wo lve s a re be a utiful cr e at u r es, t hey are an ex amp l e o f wha t na ture is in its to ta lity. Yo u ha ve the dar k n e ss and the i mmense b eauty. Wo lve s go bo th ways. They devo ur a nima ls that ar e lar ger t han themsel ves; i t ’s pre tty gro te sque a nd fie rce but they live in fa mily st r u ct u res and eac h have a rol e . They wo uld sa crifice a nything fo r o ne a no the r. In m y new seri es I’ m ex pl ori ng huma n re la tio n with a nima ls. Lo o king ba ck in h is to r y, thousand s of years of e xiste nce in this pla ne t to ge the r a nd how o ur r e lat io nshi p w i t h ani mal s has evo lve d ove r time . Wha t a ttra cts pe o ple to an im als now ? If they are at all. I ’m ve ry e xcite d to se e whe re this ta ke s me . S o , to day, w i t h Ng ene, I’ m g oi ng to be a n e a rth ga rde n. Ma nife sting to a be a utifu l m o t h e r nat ure sp i ri t, a c are taker. Na ture pro ba bly ma ke s me fe e l mo re a live tha n an yt h in g d oes and to d ep i c t t hi s in a rtwo rk is pe rfe ct.
Il l y a D u z h i n a
[ M ] ROAM C re ative Ga llery ow n er & cu rat o r. E n erg y. [ W] ROAMcrea tive & B a cc ha na l Ven i ce o n faceb o o k .
Tr an smi tti ng joy. Vi b rat i on of growth. The co lle ctive flow. Ma nife sta tio n, p o ss ibi l i ty, fal l i ng , st and i ng , moving, shifting, sha ping, cre a ting, flying, crying, le ar n ing , l i v i ng , d y i ng , b reathi ng, loving, de stroying, rising, dre a ming. Wo nde ring wit h o ut l i mi t at i on. Wand eri ng with a purpo se . Th is ex p eri enc e = Freed om.
R OA M was c reated throug h the ima gina tio n o f Da vey C he gwidde n a nd m ys e lf. It was c reat ed perhaps a bo ut 1 0 ye a rs a go ; with a dre a m. I t be ga n wit h bac c hanal , w hi c h i s a c ele bra tio n o f live music. We bring to ge the r bo th t h e a ud i tory and the v i sual be ca use we fe e l spe e ch is ba se d upo n bo th au ditory and v i si on. R OA M features suc h amazi ng be ings a s Nge ne Mwa ura , Micha e l P uka c, Jo hn P ar k , A ng el i na Chri sti na, and so ma ny o the r visua ls who ha ve e nte re d a nd h ave l i ve pai nt ed to t he freque ncie s o f wha t is distribute d o n sta ge . Da vey is t h e g ol d en key to t he aud ito ry bliss, he a nd I the co lle ctive ma gic, a nd to g e t her, we b ri ng to l i fe a so rt o f surre a l a nd pha nta sma l visio na ry se nse . R o am b ec ame w hat i t i s today 3 mo nths a go . I wa s give n this gift fro m To p ang a Canyon i t sel f. I d o no t se e myse lf a s a ca nyo n pe rso n, but he re I am , stand i ng w i th t hi s w i zard sta ff. ROAM wa s cre a te d a s a co lle ctive . Da vid Jam e s hel p ed i n c onstruc ti ng the fra me , I burne d the wo o d, a nd eve ryo ne e lse f ille d the sp ac e. Everyone’s ene rgy. Tha t’s how we thrive . We ’re a tribe .
Ma ke -up & Ha ir by Dia ne Esteve s - V ie ira , Ke rry Sla tte ry Swe nso n
Ta y l o r S t e p h e n s
[ M ] Film. Write r. Dire ctor
T h is e xp eri enc e = It was never a bo ut ge tting so me thing. I t wa s a bo ut sha ring. I r e sp e c t Ng ene as an art i st and frie nd. Whe n he a ske d me , I wa s ho no re d he wan t e d to pai nt my outward b ody with my inne r e xpre ssio n.
I s e e m ovement and emot i on mo re tha n a nything. I ’m such a huge visua l pe rso n. I t h in k i n v i sual s, c i rc l es, tri angle s, in co lo r, re pe titive se que nce s in me a ns o f e n t ir e ly new i d eas emerg i ng . I’ m a dire cto r, a nd a write r; I pa int a nd I da nce a s we ll. I wake up , read p sal ms for tha t pa rticula r day, ma ke a smo o thie , a nd be gin g o in g over my story b oard s; ex t e nsive a mo unts o f sto ry bo a rds so I know e xa ctly h ow I want t hi ng s v i sual l y. A nd , the n I ’m o n se t.. running no n-sto p until its a wra p. T h e r e ’s not one moment t hat I’ m no t thinking. Drawing fro m a we ll o f inspira tio n is im p ort ant . I d on’t want to b e my own muse . I fe e l we ’re slowly lo sing o ur way as a cul ture. We d raw w i t hi n ourse lve s ye t la ck the co nne ctio n o f a n o utside so u r ce of fuel . If you’ re d raw i ng fro m the a ncie nt we ll, the cre a to r, it is va st a nd de e p , intri c at e and b eauti ful . You ca n lo o k a t a flowe r, the co smo s, a nd se e it; t h e r e is end l ess i nspi rat i ons surro unding us. M y s p iri t ual i t y has b een w i t h m e fo reve r. Eve n a s a child, it wa s a lways the re . It is so met hi ng I keep very perso na l to me but is so de e p within me ; a unique balan ce b et ween keep i ng sp i ri tua lity sa cre d a nd inte rna l, a nd sha ring it with t h e wo rl d . M y anc estors are vast. My gra ndfa the r wa s in two wo rk ca mps a nd o n e co nc entrat i on c amp. On t he re co rds yo u’ll se e pe o ple s na me s, a nd the n his n am e , a nd nothi ng . No i nformatio n. He ga ve no thing to the m. He wa s this to ugh an d r u m b l e c harac t er, l i ke my o the r gra ndpa who fo ught o n the o the r side o f W W 1 1, a 6’ 2 b i g Tex an. Its i nt ere sting, the two wo rlds co lliding with my pa re nts; br in g in g those t wo tog et her. C o m in g from a fami l y w ho has go ne thro ugh tha t, yo u ca n’t he lp but be a cr u sader for justi c e. Know i ng they go t thro ugh tho se ho rre ndo us time s, it he lps m e g o throug h my, “A m I a w ri te r? Am I no t a write r? Am I this o r a m I no t tha t?” U lt im atel y, these t houg ht s are a luxury; the luxury o f playing with the se ide a s. S o m e o ne has foug ht and d i ed fo r the se luxurie s, fo r se lf do ubt. Yo u ha ve to ha ve h o p e o r you w i l l not surv i ve. L oo king fo rwa rd to so me thing is key. Always lo o k fo r war d to somet hi ng . There’s a ba la nce be twe e n pushing yo urse lf to the ne xt g o al, creat i ng your art and pushing yo ur a rt to the ne xt limit, a nd e mbra cing yo ur n ow. Yo ur job as an arti st i s to se e the limits, push pa st a nd wa ve go o dbye to them.
J a m i e Wa r n e r
[ M ] U ku le le . S oul. Sa ltwa te r.
C lin ical l i ai son, resp i ratory the ra pist. The ba re fo o te d girl who la ughs to o lo u d and d ri nks too muc h c offee . C o ntributing a se nse o f we ll-be ing, se curity, st r e n g th, l i g ht , i nsp i rat i on, be lie f in pe o ple a midst trying time s. O n my p e r s o n a l pursui t of g row th, ope nne ss, a nd cre a tivity. I be a t to my own drum. W h at I at tai ned from t hi s ex p e rie nce = Expe rie nce a nd se lf a cce pta nce in the fo r m o f v ul nerab i l i ty.
F r o m a young ag e, I was c ond itio ne d to fe e l re spo nsible to liste n a nd ta ke o n e m o t io ns t hat weren’t nec essa rily my own. I fe lt the ne e d to a lte r situa tio ns an d e m ot i ons surround i ng me, eve n if re a listica lly o ut o f my co ntro l. The ge isha life st yle has b een a hug e i nspi ra tio n to me fro m childho o d, fo r the me re fa ct o f it r e p r e sent i ng a hostess to tra nsfo rma tive a rts. The wo rd ge isha tra nsla te s to “ p e r s o n of the art s” ; t hey d el i ve r a n a tmo sphe re a nd unde rsta nding in pe o ple to f acil i t at e si t uat i ons, maki ng time mo re e njoya ble . Lo o king ba ck, I a dmire my yo u n g er sel f for d oi ng t hi s w i t h gra ce by la ck o f tra nspa re ncy. I ha ve a lways fo u n d m y esc ape t hroug h musi c, writing, a nd a n a ppre cia tio n fo r the a rts but I fe e l m y g reatest outl et has b ee n in cre a ting my own cha ra cte r. F inding my me . R e ce n t l y my l i fe red i rec t ed to a pla ce I wa s a ssure d I le a rne d to be fre e o f. I fo u n d mysel f i nternal i zi ng feelings a nd e mo tio ns, so much tha t I be ca me the m. I lo st mysel f. B ut i n thi s, I al so be ga n to truly find myse lf. I be ca me a bla nk sla te o f a ca nvas and rec overed my pa int brush o f se lf- co ntro l; pa inting a fa ce I truly fe e l, dressi ng mysel f i n b ol d p rints o f gra titude , substa nce , a nd se lf-love . The se ar e t h e fab ri c s that hol d t he ve ry thre a ds o f me to ge the r. I live to give re a so n to a smi l e on anothers’ fac e; to he lp ho ld the m to ge the r whe n the ir se a ms might be r ip p i ng and remi nd them of the be a uty in the ir fraye d e dge s. We a re he re , o r I k n ow I am, to b e a fi b er of i nspira tio n fo r a no the r to dre ss within te xtile s tha t m ak e them thri ve. The enc hant me nt I find in co nne cting, re ga rdle ss o f dura tio n, is wh e re I fi nd my purp ose.
Th e y s a y b e a u t y i s i n t h e eye of the b e h o l d e r. Th e b ehol d er perc ei ves an individua l pe rce ptio n, a n inva lid to a no the r, a defi ni ti ve to others. Ind i v i dua lism is singula r, but a fte r ye a rs o f tra ve l, m o ons passed , l i g ht s shad e d, the ho rizo n be co me s much bigge r o nce yo u take a st ep b ac k. Wi th tunne l visio n we se e the sun se t, we se e t h e mul t i tud e of shad es ma rrying the se a , o r city line s. We se e the co lo rs, we see the sun. R emove this tunne l visio n, this singula r sho t. Ste p back and b reathe i n, l ook l eft, lo o k right. The ripple s in the wa te r, the p o llut i on p uff’s g l i t ter, the pige o ns a nd se a gulls, the pa tte r o f the ce ment , t he w hi sp er of the tre e s. Th e d epths I, you, we c l ai m a s o ur own, a re no t. Yo ur pe rce ptio n is sh ared . Your woes and wave rs, yo ur wins a nd wa nde rs a re the twins o f a nother’s venture, p at h, prowl. I n the eve nt o f this re a liza tio n o ne g r ad uat es to a sep arate, hi ghe r gra titude o f be ing. No t just a s o ne , a s a sing l e. B ut as a w hol e, as a plura l. Gr ow th i nc l ud es t he emb ra ce o f a sto ry like thine . Of a co mmunity sh ari ng t he d epths t hat one de fine s. To de duce life ’s gra nde ur to the basic pri nc i p l es, to the si mple ingre die nts, to the a to ms o f the wo rld. The r e al ness of these p uri ti es i s a time le ss ta le to ld ye a r a fte r ye a r, ce ntury af t e r anot her. L ove, l oss, b i rth, de a th, a nd discove ry. I a m he re no t o nly to t e l l my ow n story b ut to t e ll a no the r’s.
Th ese are t he l i ves of others.
DOC UMENTED BY DANI KOWALC ZY K
M a n d T h a iland: “
F as tid io u s an d f act u a l , y e t u n ra v e l i n g fro m a g e’s i n d i ffe re n c e fo r s o cietal s tan d ar d s . A g e i s a fu c k e d u p fa c t o r. E x p e ri e n c e i s a p lay er s mo v e. Wisd o m i s t h e p a s s e rb y ’s wa rn i n g . A l l o f wh i c h h eed n o h alt to my t i c k i n g c l o c k . I c a n n o t h e l p m y m i n d’s d e s i re s . I can n o t ig n o r e my g e n d e r ’s h u m a n e l y i n s t i n c t s . Yet lo v e, lo v e d an c e s a n d t ro t s , t re a d s a n d s q u e e z e s th r o u g h th e cr ack s o f o u r p l a n s a n d p re t e n s e s . An d i f y o u d a re d a n c e, if y o u en ter in to th e t a n g o , t h e t ro t , t h e s q u e e z e , b e p re p a re d t o s wel l an d s w eat, to d ig r e s s , re g re s s , a n d re g re t . Yo u w ill n ev er f o rg e t : A g e is a f u ck ed u p fa c t o r. Bu t lo v e, lo v e is th e d e a d l i e s t d e n o m i n a t o r.
J a n d G e o rgia: “
Little lan d mar ks . T h a t ' s w h a t o u r d re a m s a n d p l a n s we re . Th at' s w h at th os e fl i g h t s , t ra i n s , b o a t s , a n d d ri v e s a l l a t t e s t e d t o. Th e letter s o f d e s i re a n d d e ro g a t i v e . T h e p i c t u re s o f t i m e s tan d in g s till, o f a h e a rt o n h o l d . T h e a i r, o u r a i r, c ra c k e d c o l d acr o s s my ey es s e a rc h i n g fo r t h e fa c e I h a d m e m o ri z e d , w o k en to , s lep t wi t h i n a p l a c e t h e b o d y h a d n e v e r b e e n . I t to o k my b r ea t h a w a y wh e n I fi rs t e n t e re d . It m a d e m e we a k an d s h y. D izzy a n d s i g h t l o s t , m y s m i l e l i k e a w a v i n g w h i t e fl a g. Yo u r v o ice, y o u r c o o l , y o u r y o u m a d e m e a t e a s e i f e v e r p o s s i b l e. Th is w as it, if o n l y I k n e w, t h i s wa s t h e s l i d i n g d o o r, th e o b ject an d t h e d e s i re . T h e p a s t a n d t h e p re s e n t , th e lo s s an d th e g a i n . G o d d a m n t h e l o s s a n d t h e g a i n .
D a n d E a st Vi l l a g e : “
It feels like a lo s s o f g lacial meas u re s . It fe e l s l i k e a b l o w o f a thousand dump s . Yet, o n e y ear ag o d i d I k n o w w h o y o u e v e n we re ? Did I know y o u r s mell? D id I k n o w t h e wa y y o u s m i l e d w h e n y o u l a u g h e d ? Did I count ev er y f r eck le in s id e th e i n k ? Did I know y o u r eatin g h ab its an d yo u r i n e p t i t u d e t o h o l d b o o z e better than me? D id I k n o w th o s e d r o o p y d o p e d u p e y e s a ft e r a h i g h , your first real o n e? D id I k n o w w h ic h c o rn e rs o f m y s k i n were your mo s t f av o r ite? One year ag o , I d id n’t. I didn’t wak e an d lo o k to my p h o n e fo r m i s s e d t e x t s o f a l o v e r missing ano th er. I d id n’t tak e a p h o t o o f m y e v e ry s t e p and issue a r eco u n t. I d id n’t s p en d n i g h t s l i s t e n i n g t o y o u r drunken whis p er s , y o u r p r o mis es o f k e e p , y o u r w i s h e s fo r a l o v e v e ry d e e p . I didn’t. I d o n’t. I can’t. N o t an y mo re . But damn th e ex is ten ce o f th is n u ll, t h i s p a i n fu l l y s t i l l a n d s t a g n a n t moment of th e in - b etw een . I’ m s w im m i n g i n p e ri l a n d d e m i s e . I ’ m treading w av es in d ig r es s . Yo u t h ro w m e n o d e v i c e t o fl o a t , you throw m e an an ch o r to s in k . Yet h e re I re m a i n o n e y e a r l a t e r, waving and w aitin g f o r a f als e s av ior.
A and H um bolt: “
I w is h th at w e co u l d l a s t fo re v e r. Bu t may b e ju s t o n e n i g h t i s b e t t e r. F o r my min d’s s a k e , I t ry d i s t ra c t i n g m y s e l f t o a v o i d p a s t mis tak es . O v er th in k in g , o v e r a n a l y z i n g , a n d n e rv o u s . I g et lo s t in my h e a d a n d i t’s d i v e rg e n c e . I k n o w, I k n o w b e t t e r t h a n t h i s , b u t ag e d o es it’s d e e d a n d m a s t e rs m y c o n s c i o u s n e s s . M y w ay s g r o w u nfa m i l i a r a n d fa l s e , I q u e s t i o n e v e ry s t e p , I d is s ect ev er y p u l s e . Bu t in y o u r h o me , a n d w i t h i n y o u r h a n d s , I f eel in v io lab le fro m m y m i n d’s t e d i o u s i n a u d i b l e d e m a n d s . Th at maze I ab erra t e t o h i d e fro m fe a rs , G r o w g r ey, s ilen t , a n d s t i l l . I t all d is ap p ear s .
A a n d S o d e r malm : “ Yo“u r f eelin g s f au l t i e r Yo u r w o r d s w aiv e r
Yo u r in ter es t ig n it e s a n d b u rn s wi t h o u t n o t i c e . Yo u claim lack s cl a ri t y o r c l e a ra n c e A n d y o u r d es ir es w e a k e n . I h ate w h o y o u ar e n o w. A f eelin g u n ju s t, b u t u n d e n i a b l e a t b e s t I tr y o th er w is e b u t s t a y s t e a d y i n m y d e t e rre n c e . Yo u w er e o n ce an d n o w y o u a re n o l o n g e r. Yo u r ab ility to d en y t h e p a s t fo r a fa v o ra b l e fu t u re D eman d s my s to m a c h s i c k fro m y o u r fa l s e p re t e n s e s . I r ealize n o w y o u r d e v o t i o n s a re fl e e t i n g , t ri t e i f d e fi n e d , s h o r t o f th e tr u e tr u e . Bu t o n e can n o t ed u c a t e o n a l o v e u n l i k e a n o t h e r. O n e can n o t teach a b o u t v a l i d i t y o f t h e b o d y, m i n d , o r s o u l .
PHOTO
BY
RODOLFO
DIAZ
L
N ARTIST LOCATION MEDIUM MAKING ART
Y
LUNAR NEW YEAR NEWARK, NJ POVERTY ALL MY LIFE
FEATURED
BY
ELLE
CHEN
Here is a guy who truly lives the art, and simultaneously lets the art live through him. Lenny, or better known as Lunar New Year grew up in a turbulent time in Ecuador. His parents moved him to the states as a teenager in hopes of attaining the, “American Dream,� but he had other plans in mind. Lenny studied at Rutgers University in NJ, but upon graduation, he had no desire to live the structured life. Taking his influences in graffiti, DIY, and punk culture, he set off, letting life carry him to his next creative venture. He has created evocative surrealist murals, many of which depict influential people in his life, in Korea, Berlin, the US and countless other places around the world. Each mural becoming a mirror of the environment, shaped by his experiences in the city and the history behind it. He is truly living the dream; his dream. And, it inspires me to see someone really living out their passions as LNY does. His desire and talent really resonated with me and I just had to learn more.
LNYLNYLNY.COM
“THIS IS MY LIFE. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. I HAVE GIVEN MY ALL TO IT AND IT PERMEATES MY EVERYDAY.”
INTERVIEW
WHAT MAKES LNY, YOU? LNY is a communal idea made up of labor- it’s not really who I am as a person but what my artwork can represent to the world. Lunar New Year is a vehicle that allows me to have this conversation, and separates my personal identity and life from my work.
WHAT SPARKED YOUR CREATIVE JOURNEY? WHAT ARE YOUR MOTIVATIONS FOR CREATING ART? This is my life. Plain and simple- I have given my all to it and it permeates my everyday. Growing up in Ecuador and New Jersey, when I didn’t have the imagination or experience to see this as a viable option, the idea was to have a “career” but that type of structure didn’t really turn me on or inspire me at all. The option was the answer.
WHERE DID YOU GROW UP? DID YOUR SURROUNDINGS AND ENVIRONMENT INFLUENCE YOUR WORK? They did and they do to this day - You can’t detach experience from location and this is something I explore a lot in my work. Growing up in Ecuador I was part of a tumultuous political time. Riots, the random political coup d’état, religious festivals, anarchist conferences and harsh divisions of wealth were present and definitely influenced me a lot. On the other end, my migration to the USA and growing up involved in DIY, punk and art culture definitely marked me.
WHAT MEDIUMS DO YOU LIKE TO WORK IN? AND WHY DO YOU CHOOSE TO WORK IN THESE MEDIUMS? What I like about materials is their endemic connotations and the added meaning they have. Paint is literally different types of dirt or minerals so why stop there? A building is a good medium, light is a good medium, vandalism is a great medium. It all depends on the location, what I want to say and what is available. So, instead of being tied to mediums or materials I am guided by a process or by the act of creating something with what is available. That is where the art is.
LUNAR
DID YOU HAVE FORMAL EDUCATION IN ART? IF SO, WHERE DID YOU STUDY AND HOW HAS IT EFFECTED YOUR WORK? I studied painting at Rutgers University in NJ - I learned a lot about the ancient tradition of oil painting but have given up that specific form of the language because of the baggage it carries. Rather learning about the one sided structure of the “art world” where only a privileged amount of people get to the “top” it taught me to find my own way and to let the act of art making be my guide.
WHAT ARE SOME THEMES AND EMOTIONS THAT RESONATE THROUGH YOUR ART? WHAT ARE THE FEELINGS YOU HOPE YOUR VIEWER WILL WALK AWAY WITH? I want people to ask questions when they look at my work. Emotions are great catalysts for this as well as beauty so I use those tools very often. Most of the time what I want is for people to react to my work by asking questions. What is this about? What is it referencing? The answers are the hard part and by doing this I involve the viewer in the completion of the piece.
YOU HAVE A VERY UNIQUE STYLE TO YOUR ART. IT HAS A SURREAL AND NARRATIVE QUALITY TO IT. HOW HAVE YOU COME TO DEVELOP YOUR STYLE? There are treads and tropes in my work that repeat themselves but I make it a point not to think of my work as having a style or cohesive aspect. Its kinda tricky to pinpoint but it is a reactionary decision - see my work is derived from graffiti but unlike graffiti I don’t aim to repeat myself in as many places as possible. I want to create individual pieces that can only exist on the wall they live. So it’s the same for the content. I have waves and periods. For example, I based all of my work on drawing and lines for years and now I’m thinking of painting and wet-on-wet marks more and more. I used to combine animals and portraits, now I’m trying to add other elements to this dynamic... we will see where it all goes.
NEW
YEAR
NEWARK PHOTO BY
ELLE
CHEN
INTERVIEW
HOW DO YOU KEEP YOURSELF INSPIRED AND MOTIVATED? To me there is no such thing as inspiration or muses, there is just work that yields more work. Travel and being outside informs me and fills me with joy and helps me find models who I photograph and work from; as well as reading and regular culture consumption. It all adds up to keeping busy with new ideas.
THE SUBJECT MATTER OF YOUR ART SEEMS TO BE PEOPLE. WHO ARE SOME INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE, AND HOW HAVE THEY IMPACTED YOU? Anybody and everybody I meet really - that’s the beauty and the point of making work about the unseen and the unheard. By putting a focus on those people you realize that everybody has a dignity and human value, without any other quantifiers. I don’t like to believe in heroes because we are all part of the same struggle.
WHAT IS YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS LIKE FROM THE POINT OF CONCEPTION AND THE END OF COMPLETION? Super flaky and free. I am curious and want to see images created, in the process everything keeps changing and I let the piece tell me when to stop so its definitely a different experience every time.
LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE DONE QUITE A BIT OF MURAL WORK. WHERE ARE SOME OF YOUR MURALS LOCATED? HOW DO YOU BEGIN TO COME UP WITH A CONCEPT FOR THEM? I have made murals all over the place, from Korea to Berlin to Atlanta and everywhere in between. I don’t differentiate murals from regular work as they are basically part of the same process, just with a different scale and materials. The concepts are derived by location, history, chance, encounters with people, my curiosity, my desires - anything really. The important part is to not know. Whenever I’m in a place where I am lost, I am the happiest and the work gets better.
LUNAR
HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT GETTING MURALS DONE. DO PEOPLE COMMISSION WORK OR DO YOU GO OUT AND DO IT GUERRILLA STYLE? Both - some are Mural Festival, other private commissions, and then there’s the process of making art in the streets. Which is a mix of illegal and agreed upon work with the communities I’m working in.
WHEN FACED WITH A MENTAL BLOCK, WHAT DO YOU DO TO GET OUT OF IT? Just keep working. I don’t aim to make masterpieces or depend on inspiration to keep moving - instead I keep busy and as long as you are busy, even if you make something you hate and destroy, then you learn from it and gain from the experience.
NEWARK, NJ. YOU ARE LIVING THERE NOW, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ART SCENE AND THE GENERAL OUTLOOK OF THE CITY? THERE IS SUCH A STIGMA TO NEWARK; PEOPLE SAW IT AS A PLACE WITH HIGH CRIME RATE, BUT I BELIEVE THAT NEWARK IS CHANGING. THE ART AND CULTURAL SCENE HAS REALLY TRANSFORMED NEWARK TO A CREATIVE HUB. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS? Newark follows the classic lineage of the North American city. Being the third oldest city in America, rising to wealth and power as a port and commercial hub and then falling to disarray due to white flight, racial tensions, a depressed economy and political corruption, the same can be said of Baltimore, Chicago, Detroit or many others. What I admire most about Newark is it’s definite sense of identity: Newark has something to say and it will be heard across the globe. The city is changing very fast and as an artist living and making work here, it is my responsibility to add to this discussion in a positive and sustainable way.
NEW
YEAR
PHOTO
BY
STEPHEN
OLWECK
INTERVIEW
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT TODAY’S ART WORLD? HOW DO YOU FEEL THAT ARTISTS TODAY, INCLUDING YOURSELF ARE INFLUENCING OUR GENERATION? The art world is a euphemism for the art business world so I play that game for what it is. To me, my friends and colleagues are not just artists, I see them as researchers, ethnographers, urbanists, activists, poets and musicians who also make art and this is the type of world I involve myself in. As far as influence I am sure there will be a trace but I can’t pinpoint it because I am living in the moment.
WHAT’S IN STORE FOR LNY? Lots of traveling, some projects in Museums, more research and more local projects. Challenges.
LAST BREATH, WHAT’S YOUR TOMBSTONE GOING TO READ TO THE WORLD? #word
LUNAR
NEW
YEAR
PHOTOGRAPHED BY KAITLIN DUNN MUSE[S] STEPHANIE LAUREN SMITH JACOB MICHAELIS
The trees were chasing me. They tore up their own roots and begged me to take them instead so they could go on adventures. I was just falling. I knew I was going to hit the bottom eventually, but it never came. I was just falling and falling, waiting to hit.
Woken in the midst of a thousand bright, burning stars I found myself floating freely through space and time. I could nearly reach out touch the masses of fire that seemed to hang in mid-flight.
As I floated closer, I was instantaneously consumed by the waves of color, and they penetrated my being inducing feelings of love, anger, fear, regret, and hope. In that moment, I felt the highest of highs lowest of lows Then, nothing.
M A T T H E W R O W E ARTIST LOCATION MEDIUM MAKING
ART
MATTHEW D. ROWE SEATTLE, WA IMPULSE POETRY ON TYPEWRITER SINCE AGE 8
FEATURED & PHOTOGRAPHED BY TAIDE KENNEDY
There were so many thoughts going through my mind during the drive from Oregon to Seattle. I was about to interview a poetic artist, specializing in “on the spot poetry” and wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. Upon arriving I noticed a tinge of quiet from Matthew, not due to shyness but in means of intent; paying attention. He was constantly typing, brushing his fingertips along the keys of his typewriter, visualizing a poem I had imagined, until he found the right letter, word, phrase.. and began to punch away at the keys with only his index fingers. Each person, each stranger crossing Matthews path for only mere moments, would stop in curiosity, asking for a poem to be written about them. He managed to get some of these people to open up in ways you would a very dear friend. They were telling him their stories of what and why they want this particular subject matter written about by this man they had just moments before met. The day was overcast and wet, Seattle being one of the greyest of cities, so the mood was well lit. Once finished typing, Matthew would ask each person if they would like for him to read their poem aloud. And, they always said yes. At least when I was there. They were ensorcelled, leaving happy to have a poem of their own by a stranger. But, I guess no longer a stranger when you share such intimate parts of your you, right? Matthew never stopped typing. With or without people, he would type type type away; rolling in the paper, rolling out a poetic experience.
ONTHESPOTPOETRY.COM
INTERVIEW
For starters, tell us a bit about yourself on a personal level as well as an artists level. Is there any difference between the two?
How did Poem Shop begin? Whats a usual day/night working Poem Shop?
Up until early 20 1 3 , I d id n ’t r eally co n s i d e r m ys e l f much as an ar tis t. I k n o w w r itin g i s a for m o f art. But un til I b eg an w r itin g in pu b l i c e nvi r o nments, and p r o d u cin g p o ems o n th e s p o t for ot her people, it d id n ’t f eel lik e mu ch o f a n a rt i s t i c endeavor. Wr itin g p o ems b y y o u rs e l f i n your room at all h o u r s o f d ay an d n ig h t , i n unre l e n ting, unpre d ictab le s tr id es , tir ele s s l y, a nd without sharin g mu ch o f it w ith o th er s fe l t t oo pe rsonal to be co n s id er ed a f o r m o f ar t i s t i c e xpre s sion.
A v e ry d e a r fri e n d a n d m e n t o r of m i ne, J a c q u e l i n e Su s k i n yoursubjectyourprice.com , s t a rt e d d o i n g Po e m St o re i n A rc a t a , C al i f or ni a, w h i l e I wa s a t u n i v e rs i t y t h e re . We m et t hr ough m u t u a l fri e n d s . I w o u l d g o a n d wa t c h her t ype o u t p o e m s o n a t y p e wri t e r a t a re l e n tl ess pace fo r t h e c o m m u n i t y, re a d t h e m a l o u d t o reci pi ent s, a n d g i v e t h e m a w a y, n e v e r t o s e e t h e par t i cul ar p o e m a g a i n . I wa s a w e s t ru c k . T h a t wa s 2009.
Si nc e Poem S hop has co me to f r u itio n , th o u g h , I fe e l l i ke my self has b eco me eq u al p ar ts p e rs o n a nd artist. A majo r ity o f th e w o r k I h a v e produced this pas t y ear an d a h alf h as b e e n for ot her people, an d to me th at d ef in it i v e l y m a ke s it art. Becau s e it is b o r n imp u lsi v e l y be t we en the meetin g o f tw o in d iv id u als d e s i re s , a nd be cause it evolves h o lis tically in o r d er to m e e t t hos e desires. T he r e’s an id en tif iab le p urp o s e i m m e diately, and its ex p er ien ced b y mu l t i p l e pa rt i e s.
Any outlandish requests? I’ ve w ritten countl es s o u tlan d is h p o ems . I w o n ’t s ha re too many spe cif ics , b u t I ’ v e w r itten b i t t e r bre a k-up poems, sp ace tr av el p o ems , marri a g e proposal poems, fu ck - y o u - y o u - ch eatin g - b a s t a rd poe m s , and poems ab o u t g ir aff es b o r n w i t h o u t he a ds , to give an id ea. Love and new begin n in g s ar e p r o b ab ly th e t wo m os t common themes . I ten d to p r o d a litt l e b i t for m ore specificity w h en as k ed to w r ite o n t h o s e s ubj e c ts. I’ ve never turned a s u b ject aw ay. O n e time I wa s a s ke d to write a poe m ab o u t an o th er p o et’s p o e m , a nd t hat was awkwar d , b ecau s e I k ep t f eelin g l i k e I wa s duplicating th e o r ig in al p o em. B u t I di d i t , be c a use I said I cou ld .
MATTHEW
I wo u l d p ra c t i c e t y p i n g o u t p o e m s a t random i n m y ro o m fo r t h e n e x t c o u p l e o f y e a rs . T hough I w a s n e v e r t o o c o n s i s t e n t wi t h i t , t o be honest . T h e n , Fe b ru a ry 2 0 1 3 , I m o v e d t o Se at t l e, and s t a rt e d Po e m Sh o p , m o d e l e d o ff o f J a cquel i ne’s Po e m St o re . We m a i l l e t t e rs t o o n e a n o t her of t en, a n d s h e ’s b e e n i n fi n i t e l y h e l p fu l a n d e ncour agi ng a l o n g t h e w a y. Z a c h H o u s t o n , zachhouston.com i s e q u a l l y t o t h a n k fo r m y s u c c e s s wi t h P oem Sh o p . H e i s J a c q u e l i n e ’s m e n t o r, a n d founder of Po e m St o re . T h o u g h I’v e n e v e r a c t u a l l y m et hi m , I t h a n k h i m a n d J a c q u e l i n e i n e v e ry p o em .
Is there any particular person who stands out in your memory, more than others, who has requested a poem? I m e t a y o u n g g i rl (I b e l i e v e s h e wa s e i ght year s o l d ) a t t h e Fre m o n t Su n d a y M a rk e t i n S eat t l e, w h o a s k e d m e t o w ri t e a p o e m e n t i t l e d “What i s L i fe ” . I d i d , a n d re a d i t t o h e r. Sh e t h a nked m e, a n d t h e n re c i t e d t o m e a m u c h l o n g e r poem she h a d wri t t e n a n d m e m o ri z e d wi t h t h e s a m e nam e. H e r p o e m b l e w m i n e o u t o f t h e wa t e r wi t h i t s u n fi l t e re d h o n e s t y a n d u n i n h i b i t e d br i l l i ance. Sh e re fe re n c e d t h e l i m i t e d n a t u re o f a deck of c a rd s , a n d a c k n o w l e d g e d o u r l i m i t e d exi st ence a s i n d i v i d u a l s . It b ro u g h t m e t o t e a rs , and al l I c o u l d t e l l h e r, o v e r a n d o v e r a g a i n , was “keep w ri t i n g , d o n ’t e v e r s t o p ” .
D.
ROWE
“FUNERAL PARADE�
a pr o c e s sion of su ited ma kers w ho c a rry in th eir a rms w e ig htl ess crea tions, c aptur e d visions of fl eeting ex perience, a fo r wa rd moving trib e o f fr e e-th inkers figh ting r e g ular i ty a nd contentment, a f u nera l pa ra de, a pan o r ama forever ma rch ing to o ur mu ses b ea ting dru ms.
INTERVIEW
What do you do to get out of those infamous artist funks/dare I say writer’s block? What inspires you to keep motivated or just in general? One of the most ben ef icial as p ects o f P o em Sh o p i s t ha t I’m not allow ed to h av e w r iter ’s b lo ck . Fo r m e , a lot of times w r iter ’s b lo ck co mes f r o m n o t knowi ng what to wr ite ab o u t. B y lettin g s o m e o n e e l s e make that dec is io n , I am f r ee s imp ly t o d o t he writing. I like r ef er r in g to th e p o em a s a c ol l a bo ration, and th e mo tiv atio n co mes eq u a l l y fr om the person c h o o s in g th e s u b ject, and m y e xpe riences, thoug h ts , an d imp u ls es r elat e d t o t ha t s ubject. T his f r eed o m ten d s to car r y o v e r i nt o my more perso n al w r itin g .
What might we find you doing when not writing? I l ove gardening, es p ecially f o o d g ar d en s . I w o rk a l ot a r ound my hous e, mak in g s mall imp r o v em e n t s whe re I can, and ex p er imen tin g w ith e d i b l e l a nds c apes. I also w o r k w ith th e Beaco n Fo o d For e s t as much as p o s s ib le. I ha ve a wonderful d o g , R u ck u s . H e an d I g o o n a s m a ny adventures as p o s s ib le, s w immin g in n a t u ra l bodi e s of water. I lo v e b as k etb all an d r id in g m y bi c yc l e. I play the d id g er id o o s p ar in g ly, an d a m c urr e n tly practicin g w ith cir cu lar b r eath in g .
Where do you feel Poem Shop is headed? What’s in store? M y d re a m w i t h Po e m Sh o p i s t o do wr i t i ng w o rk s h o p s i n b o y s ’ h o m e s , j u v e n i l e det ent i on c e n t e rs — t h o s e s o rt s o f e n v i ro n m e n ts. I t r ul y b e l i e v e p o e t ry i s i n fi n i t e , a n d c a n b e i m m ensel y e ffe c t i v e i n h e a l i n g a n d e d u c a t i n g . I’d l i ke t o get t o a p o i n t wh e re Po e m Sh o p c a n s u st ai n i t sel f c o n s i s t e n t l y, a n d I c a n o ffe r m y s e rv i ces wi t hout p ro fi t .
And, in closing... let’s say its your last breath, what’s your tombstone going to read to the world? “ Fi rs t t h o u g h t , b e s t t h o u g h t . ”
To na me the first t h in g s th at co me to min d .
MATTHEW
D.
ROWE
D OCUMENTED
MUSE ZARA ALYSE BY SHEENA SNYDER
25:01 am.
The process of movement might not breathe through the actions of letting go but maybe the act of continuing. Delicately placed fingerprints of past lovers tur ned ghosts fragmented stories decompressing a history, continuing forges a strong bac kbone of sleepless nights hazy mor nings, perpetual in betweens, we find our light within our dar k, continue this wor ldy novel simply by living. And oh, how monumental we become.
0 0:00 am.
What is your fondest memory? What clings to your thought process, a breath before dar kness? Whos face goes through your mind when you read this? The moment you come eye to eye with a blank canvas the options become limitless. Whic h can make it quite difficult to begin.
get i n v o l v e d : Submissions, Collaborations, Ideas, Inquiries open for our sixth issue. Among other projects currently in the works. Always searching that next connection. Interested? Contact us at the following: Sheeluv@FuneralParade.com FuneralParade.com [& make sure to keep in touch] Facebook | Instagram | Tumblr
Sending light. FUNERAL PARADE, Artist Supporting Artist