Empire Times 44.4 by FUSA Association

NYC TAX DAY MARCH, THE HANDMAIDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TALE, PRE-ORDERING GAMES/

ORDER

E FOURTY

The Team EDITORS Eleanor Danenberg, Lisandra Linde, Liam McNally SUB-EDITORS Elise Christopher, Ainsley Ewart, Kayla Gaskell, Brenton Griffin, Jack Harrison, Cameron Lowe, Patrick O’Loughlin, Karen Smart, Marithe Solis, Sundus Raza, Leeza Von Alpen COLUMNISTS Amber Anon, Aden Beaver & Tom Goldblatt, Rhianna Carr, Brenton Griffin, Emma Hough Hobbs, Patrick O’Loughlin ILLUSTRATIONS Rhianna Carr Michelle Eoncheff Emma Hough Hobbs Melanie Pal Emma Scott Diana-Elena Vornicu

CONTRIBUTORS Caro, Annette Couch, Eleanor Danenberg, Ainsley Ewart, Richard Falkner, Kayla Gaskell, Catherine Jones, Lisandra Linde, Cameron Lowe, Liam McNally, Jordon O’Reilly, Shevaun Rutherford, Lee Salvemini, Ashley Sutherland, Elliot Vagner, Leeza Von Alpen ADVERTISING/MEDIA Steph Walker stephanie.walker@flinders.edu.au About the cover art: Cover artist Michelle Eoncheff says this watercolour piece was inspired by the historical belief that cats had connections to the spiritual world. Michelle uses aliens people and animals as a metaphor for beings that “don’t quite fit the conventional mould”. Her artwork is a playful twist on the Sphinx. Find more of her art on Instagram: m.cat_visual_arts

With thanks to: Urban Paddock for keeping us sane, and to Zac Coligan of the Jade for being cool. Enquiries Level 1, Student Hub, Flinders University (FUSA) 1 Registry Road Bedford Park, 5042

Empire Times would like to acknowledge the Kaurna people who are the traditional custodians of the land Flinders University is situated on, and that this land was never ceded, but stolen. We would like to pay our respects to the elders of the Kaurna nation and extend that respect to other Aboriginal peoples, past, present, and future.

Empire Times is a publication of Flinders University Student Association (FUSA). Empire Times is printed by Flinders Press. The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the editors, Flinders University, or Flinders University Student Association. Reasonable care is taken to ensure that Empire Times articles and other information are up-to-date and as accurate as possible, as of the time of publication, but no responsibility can be taken by Empire Times Magazine for any errors or omissions contained herein.

WRITERS, PHOTOGRAPHERS, ILLUSTRATORS & MAKERS OF PRETTY INTERESTING THINGS! Empire Times is a student publication that prints 10 times over the academic year. It is made by students, for students and provides a unique opportunity for students to be published, to talk about what's important to them and to be read by those in their community. Empire Times relies entirely on contributions from the readers to make up its content. Each selected piece goes through a collaborative editing process. We're very friendly, email empire.times@flinders.edu.au to find out everything you need to know about being part of the team.

On Campus What’s going on?

June FUSA’s always thinking of you, and they want to aid your welfare with free breakfasts every week! 6th June/ Registry Road 8th June/ Tonsley 9th June/ Medical Centre

FREE Welfare Br unches

12th June/ Plaza 14th June/ Sturt 14th April/ Tonsley 16th June/ Education

Ju ne FL ICS ( Fl inde rs Unive rs it y Cine phi l e S o cie t y )

7th June/ Spectre

Ju ne

Ju ne 19 t h

FUSA R el ax D ays. Thanks

Empire Times Issue 6 (Mystery) contributor deadline. Email submissions to empire. times@flinders.edu.au Opinion pieces, artwork, fiction, poetry, recipes, music reviews, whatever your heart desires!

FLICS Movie Screenings: See Facebook page for locations and further details.

to your student association, you can pick up some great freebies like food, haircuts, and massages. RELAX!

C ont r ibutor D e ad line

Wednesday 7th June Medical Library 11am-2pm/ Wednesday 14th June Plaza 11am-2pm/

June 28t h Speakeasy (Creative Readings club) event: The Wheatsheaf Hotel, June 28th.

Sp e a ke asy R e ading

If you would like to go and listen, or even read a piece of your own, all of the details on the Facebook page, ‘Speakeasy Flinders’.

Ju ne 5th Wo rl d Envi ro n ment Day: Event i n t h e Pl aza. Fo r mo re i nfo rmat i o n vi s i t FUSA Envi ro n ment Co l l ec t i ve o n Facebo o k .

World Env ironment D ay

Editorial

Let’s take a look at what’s been happening around the world in terms of order... In the United States, yet another unarmed black man has been killed by police. 15-yearold Jordan Edwards was leaving a house party; he was in a car with 4 other unarmed teens when police officer Roy Oliver shot through the windshield with a rifle. The local Police Chief has stated that the shooting did not represent their “core values”. The officer responsible, Roy Oliver, was fired soon after the incident, because he ‘violated several departmental policies.’ However, Oliver had since been charged with the murder of Jordan Edwards, who was a high achieving, well-liked student and football player. As devastating as this case is, the silver lining is that the police officer responsible is being appropriately punished, which will hopefully send the message to American police that black lives DO matter and that any behavior to the contrary will lead to serious and fitting consequences. And ‘in our own backyard’, Aboriginal land rights are still being fought for, as native land is being proposed for mining sites for companies like Adani. There has been a lack of consultation and while politicians and parties will decide the fate of this issue, Indigenous people feel powerless and ignored. A ray of hope comes out of France, who have just elected a new President; they voted overwhelmingly for the centrist candidate who is passionate about climate change, and is pro-EU, immigration, free trade, and LGBTQ rights. When it comes to ‘order’ in the world, there are some serious inequalities due to race, gender, sexuality, religion, physical and mental abilities, and more. Those who are able to use their voice and help others, must do just that. Slowly but surely, the ‘order’ in our world will become more fair. Love, Eleanor (an optimist)

Early in 2014 I found myself wandering Patong beach in Phuket with a bottle of overly-sweet ice tea. Back then Patong still boasted a long stretch of beach covered in plastic chairs and umbrellas, dotted with pop-up bars and knick-knack tents. It was the epitome of the western tourist holiday destination. Behind the sprawling beachfront 20-storey hotels and resorts dominated the skyline. It was, all of it, tailor made for the privileged traveller reaping the rewards of global capitalism. I left the plastic deck chairs and sun-burnt tourists behind and wandered to the opposite end of the beach. The sea broke into a river here and snaked beneath a road bridge. Just beyond this bridge the Patong I knew was replaced by the unknown, hidden world of the locals. Rickety wooden houses lined the riverbank, the thatching on the rooftops breaking off in parts. Women sat on their patios sewing over the garbage filled river. Stray dogs plodded around the muddy banks picking at sacks overflowing with discarded food and material. This was the real Patong. While western tourists indulged in cheap beers and beachfront hotel suites, the local people scraped by on the barest of essentials. When I started working on this issue of Empire Times I automatically thought of the imposed social and economical order of capitalism. We are bombarded with propaganda about how good it is to own things- disposable, replaceable material wealth is the capitalist ideal of ‘happiness’. What a fine and confronting issue of the magazine this is. I hope that readers find themselves questioning and considering what they find between these pages. And, more than anything, I hope that we- the students of Flinders University- help to make the world a better place by considering the impact we have on the future of society and the environment. Vi snakkes, Lisandra

My editorial picture this issue is of the best moment I had in the United States. I spent nearly four weeks there and went to several cities but this picture is taken out the front of an inconspicuous house in Jamaica Plains just out of Boston. This is the house where Sylvia Plath lived during her early childhood. Few novels have the influence of The Bell Jar. Those who read the novel and have in their own lives the experiences touched upon, are profoundly affected by it. Reading her works has left me feeling quite powerless to reach a standard in writing that I could be happy with. She has a well-deserved reputation as a great of her field. I expected it to have a marker or some kind of acknowledgement of the importance of the house but there was none. I went online to ensure I was at the right place. I was. But I had to check, standing outside what seemed to me such an obviously important landmark of American literature. As a writer, Sylvia Plath has a personal significance to me in producing such honest, brutal, and beautiful pieces of literature. Reading her work is synonymous with depression as much of it is informed by her battle with it. For me, it is still depressing, but for different reasons. Seeing her ability to take her own personal struggles and trying experiences and make such a profound piece of art out of it is stunning. And quite depressing to any reader who, like me, harbours a hope of writing for the fact that she so thoroughly and artfully mastered her craft. But back to the moment I stood outside her house there - it was a melancholy experience as I’d gone so far to get there, got lost along the way thanks to a temperamental phone, and I was finally, definitely, glad to be there. But seeing no plaque there. No sign. No marker. Nothing. That was intensely disappointing. On that note, goodbye. Read the magazine to cheer yourselves up. Liam

Dirty Dancing: A feminist exploration of purity and social order

Poetry: I, a Lantern

Poetry: Morning After

Vox Pop: Voice of the People

Six Things: First Album

Student Council

Was Nelson Mandela a Terrorist?

Tax Day March: Empire Times reports from USA

Empire Times Quiz

Categorising Sexual Identity

The Ethics of Fashion

Board Game Baptism

Advice: Ask Milton (The US edition)

E F O URTY

Trumpâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s First 100 Days

Letter from the United States of America

Mature Aged Students Perspectives

Letter to a Straw Feminist

Drinking Bot Game

Fiction: The Orderly Man

Paramore, the band that disrupted order

Fiction: Done Dying

The Resurgence of 1984 and The Handmaidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tale

5 Star Film Recommendations: Deliverance

The Danger of PreOrdering Games

Anime Review 3-Gatsu no Lion

Vox Pop

Voice of t he p e ople (on c ampus) Central Campus

Michael

Aida

Ilia

B achelor of Ar ts / B achelor of E duc at ion

Biome dic a l Eng ine er ing

Professiona l Mi l k Frot her

Q1. Everything by Tarantino Q2. Film & History it’s exciting to see the evolution of film and the representation of film Q3. Rhiley (on the other page) Q4. A cool bracelet Q5. King Gizzard and the Lizzard Wizard - “Nuclear Fusion”

Q1. Fast & Furious 5 Q2. Engineering Design - it’s challenging and interesting

Q1. The Departed or Willy Wonka (the original)

Q3. Barack Obama

Q2. Psychology. I love hearing how hard people’s lives are whilst steaming milk

Q4. A fidget cube

Q3. Pete Helliar

Q5.”What’s My Name”

Q4. One Direction Vinyl. Don’t judge me Q5. Anything by Gang Of Youths or LEO

Q1. What’s your number 1, all-time favourite movie? Q2. What’s the best topic you’ve done so far at university, and what made it the best? Q3. Who should be Australia’s next Prime Minister? Q4. What’s the last thing you ordered online? Q5. What will be at the top of your list for the next Triple J’s Hottest 100?

Rhiley

Yekta

Hannah

B achelor of Psycholog ic a l S cience

Me dicine (F ingers cross e d!)

B achelor of S o ci a l S ciences

Q1. A Knight’s Tale Q2. PSYC: Weird and Wonderful Ideas Q3. Dale Dunn Q4. $100 contact kit Q5. Allday - “Codeine 17”

Q1. The Lion King (1 and 2) Q2. Don’t ever ask me this question Q3. JULIA! Q4. Shoes Q5. One of Ed Sheeran’s songs

Q1. Mary Poppins Q2. Life Drawing because there are no assignments and naked people Q3. Ilia (on the other page) Q4. Textbook...lame Q5. LEO - “All We Need”

colu m n/ s ati re

Straight White Men: Nelson Mandela was a terrorist but that’s okay: how social context affects our views of history.

Tom G oldbl att As a white man with South African heritage, nothing gives me more joy than to see most things on a binary morality scale. I very much like to separate things neatly into black and white, with very little room left for grey. That being said, I have to abandon this when it comes to history, because even I understand there are many complexities and nuances that become clearer, sometimes generations after the fact. Nelson Mandela is a hero. Our teachers tell us this, our parents tell us this, and our politicians tell us this. I’m happy to say this, but I am not ashamed to admit that one of the people that I look up to was engaged in terroristic activities. This is not to put Mandela in the same league as Osama Bin Laden, but it raises the point that depending on how you interpret one’s actions, you can make them the hero or the villain. Many people try to justify their actions by citing that they want to be on the ‘right side of history’. The problem is that the so called ‘right side of history’ is up to interpretation. It is made up post hoc, based on the social context of the present, rather than the past. To the pro-apartheid government of South Africa, the African National Congress was a terrorist organisation responsible for bombing government buildings and causing public distress. To that government, and within that social context, the ANC appears to be on the ‘wrong side of history’. As Mandela was part of ANC, he was therefore technically a terrorist.

I doubt many people who wear Che Guevara’s face on an ironic t-shirt understand the extent of the atrocities he and Fidel Castro committed. Nor could they possibly understand that buying a t-shirt with his face on it, at from a store that profits from capitalism, spits on everything that he stands for. But I can’t talk about that because I’m not a hypocrite; my Pol Pot shirt is groovy. Here’s a local example. Harold Holt, the 17th Prime Minister of Australia who started to bring down the White Australia Policy, put forward the 1967 referendum, which allowed the Commonwealth to create legislation, especially for Indigenous Australians and include them in the census, and finally, he established the Australian Council for the Arts. That was all achieved in one year. What do we remember this man for today? The fact that he disappeared at a beach one year into his term. You can be a legitimately great man, but if you fuck up just once (okay, in this case it was pretty major) you’re only going to be remembered for being the punchline of the funniest card in Cards Against Humanity. We will forever hear how Johnny Howard and his eyebrows stopped every mass shooting in Australia, we’ll never forget Abbott and his onions, Gillard will always have her carbon tax, and even Kevin07 had his catchy slogan. But poor Harold Holt is doomed to the obscurity of being a subject for conspiracy theorists, and a fun name for alliteration aficionados.

Sexual Labels and what these “labels” mean to those who are given them. Amb er Anon

‘Being pestered about my sexual attraction is not an icebreaker, but it sure is an immediate turn off ’. In the wake of International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (or IDAHOT for short), here’s a hot tip for becoming a better ally to same sex attracted, intersex, and gender diverse people; stop categorising us against our will. This tip isn’t just directed at straight, cis-gendered people either; it’s for everyone. Stop invading my own and everyone else’s sexual preferences in order to categorise us for whatever reason you see fit. As a person who is bisexual identifying, I find it absurd that shortly after disclosing my sexuality I get one of two reactions; either complete disdain, or further probing for exact details of my sexual experiences. The regularity in the conjunction of me disclosing my sexuality and the subsequent removal of my rights to privacy makes me realise how normalised this line of questioning is, and how it’s thought to be acceptable towards bisexual identifying people. Yet for anyone else, discussions of sexual experiences are something that only people who are intimate with one another talk about, so why is it that my sexual history is put on trial instantaneously? For some reason, it seems perfectly acceptable for people to ask me ‘so, what, are you like a 50/50 split?’; as if my sexual preferences are quantifiable and can be divided neatly into two categories. For me this is a serious violation of information I purposefully did not provide, had I wanted that individual to know I would have provided it. To tell the truth, I don’t want to break it down into a mathematical equation for others to understand the likelihood of me sexually engaging with them. As if by knowing I like women 30% more than men would somehow increase the likelihood I’ll sleep with

them; it won’t, being pestered about my sexual attraction is not an icebreaker, but it sure is an immediate turn off. Personally, I don’t think feelings like desire and attraction should be reduced to an equation, as they aren’t static for everyone. This pervasive normative idea that there is no fluidity in the sexual desires of bisexual people is bizarre and rigidly scientific, leaving no room for personal, societal or other influences which impact individual attraction. I feel this greatly impacts normative expectations of appropriate presentations and roles of bisexual identifying people. This rigidity can make it incredibly difficult to feel comfortable to disclose sexual attraction without fear of being persecuted or sexually pursued. As a result, assuming a more socially acceptable role or expression of our sexuality becomes preferable. Whatever sexual acts, feelings, desires and everything else in between are my own, the label ‘bisexual’ is only there for the use of others to identify me. Personally, my preferred identification is to be called by my name, instead of being known by the sexual acts I engage in. I feel like this system of categorisation really limits how I and others perceive ourselves, especially considering the label of bisexuality has associated connotations. For all intents and purposes, ‘bisexual’ is a dirty word. Please remember, if someone has trusted you with the disclosure of their sexual preferences, treat them like you would treat anyone else. Bisexual identifying people aren’t sex-crazed maniacs who are dying to seduce you and your partner; we’re just as tired and stressed out as everyone else and aren’t living life as if it’s one continuous string of sexual trysts.

c olu m n / p ol iti c s

By Order of the President

An Examination of Donald Trump’s First 100 Days in Office Brenton Griffin

Bluebirds blow their brains out on my shoulders.

Last night I had an American feeling.

When the orange man who hosted The Apprentice announced that he was running for President of the United States, the whole world chuckled. It was something different — a guy who wasn’t a politician wanted to run the declining hegemon that is America. As time progressed, the platform began to take on a sinister tone. People began freaking out when this dude did not go away. Then, the Grand Old Party decided to run Ted Cruz against The Don. This, unsurprisingly, just made Trump more powerful. Cruz was a religious nutter who was with good reason, despite the chronological impossibility, accused of being the Zodiac Killer.

25th January: At Trump’s first ever press conference, he went after the media for allegedly misrepresenting the number of attendees at his inauguration as compared to Obama’s. At this same conference, White House Spokesperson Sean Spicer announced the introduction of ‘Alternative Facts.’ This magnificent little number was later used by another member of Trump’s administration to make up the fake Bowling Greens Massacre.

While I have long evenings with Steve and Roger. Amidst raging controversy concerning sexual assault, business misconduct, and awfulness as a human being, Donald Trump became more and more unlikely to get into the White House. Then, the impossible happened: he won. I watched the live coverage in the plaza, right smack bang on the big TV, as the votes were being counted, and my heart dropped. Even still, I was in the camp that thought that Trump, whilst he would be bad, wouldn’t be as bad as everyone thought. Before I fall asleep I always talk to my father’s Lego skull. Since that fateful day, Trump has been as terrible as many feared. This is a brief and incomplete examination of Trump’s regime thus far. By the time this is published, it’ll be 100 days since his inauguration; only another 1300 or so to go.

Up at the top of my moving staircase. 27th January: One week after being sworn in, toupee-wearing Trump signed an executive order that sought to ban all people entering the United States with passports issued from Iraq, Iran, Syria, Sudan, Libya, Somalia, and Yemen. This correlated with Trump’s platform of a complete ‘Muslim Ban’ that he spouted during his campaign. This created pandemonium throughout the US, as airports basically held people captive as security attempted to comply with their leader’s command. Fortunately, multiple judges ruled this ban unconstitutional, and the order has basically fallen dead in the water. This is the place where I dream my dreams; this is the place where I dream my dreams. Late January: Trump threatened to place Chicago under martial law if they did not fix the ‘carnage’ that apparently engulfed the city. And by ‘carnage’, Trump meant people protesting police brutality. Political theorists believe that this is due to Trump’s personal

disdain of Chicago’s mayor, Rahm Emmanuel, who served as Obama’s Chief-of-Staff. I was rocking back and forth, feeding on the fear, of course. 7th February: Trump cleared the last hurdle for the establishment of the abominable Dakota Access Pipeline. This is to be built in the Native American Sioux Nation’s sovereign land, and those protesting were cleared out by police and the army. Wonder what I’m gonna do today. 26th February – Trump announced that he would not attend the Correspondents’ Dinner. He doubles down by saying that a number of media outlets, whom he calls ‘the enemy of the American people’, would be better off not coming because of his absence. Are these my jets? I like to drink ladies drinks with my fingers. Are these my jets? Late March: Trump dedicated himself to the repealing of ObamaCare, something promised during his campaign. Interestingly, Republicans were iffy about this change, and some moved against the motion. Nevertheless, Trump prevailed and now Americans have less federal funding for their healthcare. Seems like everyday somebody from College, 12th April: Trump and Chinese President Xi had dinner, in which Trump apparently ate ‘the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you’ve ever seen.’ Whilst eating this apparently gourmet dessert, Trump told reporters that he authorised the firing of 59 missiles into Iraq. What he meant to say was Syria, but it’s all the same over there right? Comes by to tell me my his life is in ruins. 13th April: Donald Trump signed legislation that removed funding from safe and affordable abortions. This was not just for in America, either, but an international policy. This was a nod to the not outdated at all policies of the Reagan-era. I like to tell him my stories from college, and how I was so lonely. 14th April: The ‘Mother of All Bombs’ is dropped on Afghanistan with the hope of destroying an ISIS hideout. That this was fired with very minimal intel concerned many people. I was rocking back and forth, feeding on the fear, of course. 18th April: Trump misleads the world by claiming that a naval armada is headed to North Korea as tensions escalate between the two least fit leaders of the world. This ‘very powerful’ armada actually just ended up chilling off the coast of Australia instead. Wonder what I’m gonna do today. 21st April: Trump is still keen on getting his wall up, despite virtually zero support from lawmakers whose region they would be traversing. The wall has received mass support from Trump supporters but has, understandably, been condemned by everyone else.

Are these my jets? Significantly more could have been discussed regarding Trump’s regime thus far. By now, we can ignore Trump apologists when they proclaim Trump as the best representative of the American people, and that his victory was related to real fears of American citizens. Right now, he is creating new fears. His egotistical nature and inability to work with people is becoming more apparent. This is particularly dangerous when we think about some of the other powerful political people around the world, including Vladimir Putin, another narcissistic crazy person, and apparently Trump’s new BFF. Walrus dick jewellery for everyone in America! Add to this the fact that the government is almost out of money, and fears of a governmental shutdown once Congress gets back from their Easter break. On the plus side, Trump’s presidency has influenced the world in other ways. For example, the Women’s March in Washington (and in other American capital cities) had a massive turnout in which both women and men protested inequality in American society. Call it a silver lining, but Trump’s presidency has helped to mobilise those who have traditionally been more apathetic towards politics, on all sides of the political spectrum. Similarly, the 30 Days, 30 Songs protest (in which artists write songs about their disdain for their new leader) brought you the lyrics spread throughout this article. It is by EL VY, and is written from the perspective of being Trump; it comes with an internet game featuring a crying Abraham Lincoln, you should definitely check it out. Anyway, thank you, Donald J. Trump, for being pretty much the worst.

Drinking Games with Messenger Bots Elliot Vagner

What the F**K is a messenger bot?! A messenger bot, also known as a chatbot, is a way of messaging a “robot” that has a very human-like conversation. They have been around since April 2016 and there are already over 10,000 Facebook chatbots! Ok, here’s the situation... Maybe, your parents went away on a week’s vacation. So you decide to throw a house party or a small gathering, with drinking as the focus, of course. During the party you play beer pong. But after years of partying the same 1 or 2 drinking games start to get a little boring. How many times can we play Kings Cup? Drinking Games Messenger Bot The reason I created the Drinking Games Messenger Bot is to help drinkers find new and fun drinking games for parties, gatherings or classic Tavern hangs. The chatbot simply generates drinking games for the user. The best thing about the Drinking Games Messenger Bot is that it is completely free and unlike an app; nothing needs to be downloaded. No-one likes downloading apps that do one small and uncommon task. Having drinking games generated for you isn’t a daily thing (I hope) so having a messenger bot was the right approach. Almost everyone has Facebook so sending a message to the bot, just like you would a friend, is simple and quickly gets the results that you want. How to access the bot There are a variety of ways to access the bot. One way is to just hop onto your messenger app and type in the top search bar for “Drinking Games Messenger Bot”. When it comes up, simply press on it and press “get started”. Now you can start chatting away and keep those drinking games coming!

fe atu re / m ature age d stu d ents

Mature aged students have much to offer their student peers

‘Whatever your situation, mature age students have advice and experience to offer, if you will take the time and have the courage to seek it out,’ writes Catherine Jones. Mature aged students are often greatly strengthened by their life experience and they bring this quality into their university studies. This week I chatted with two mature aged students in a leafy courtyard here at Flinders University. They are both quietly spoken, intelligent conversationalists and open to discussing new issues impartially with new acquaintances. Karen (<60) is a wife, mother and grandmother, an artist and a singer. She is finishing her Bachelor of Archaeology studies, and has added Women’s Studies to this as well. She says her life experiences and her studies have widened her “gaze” (as per Foucault) on this world, and it’s made her more aware of Australian history and the human state. Her studies have better enabled her to examine new experiences critically, and to identify and refute bias. As a young woman she was not ready to study at tertiary level when the opportunity was first given to her, but going out into the world and living her life as it presented itself, plus being a bit of a rebel, prepared her to take the tertiary plunge at an age where many women are thinking of winding back and entering their retirement years. Heidi (<50) “didn’t get” tertiary instruction when she first encountered it. She said she felt too “silly” (for this, read ‘young and naive’) to ask for help in navigating her way around the university system via student counseling or via the university librarians, or even asking her lecturers and tutors for extra direction. In Heidi’s (and Karen’s) younger days, girls often felt they had to be perfect and unobtrusive to “get on” in school, and life. So this successful high school student simply dropped out.

She knew she had to train for something, and bring money into her family, so she stepped back and did a TAFE course in Child Care. She worked in that industry for two decades whilst a wife and mother. Now as a tertiary student, she is a high achiever. Like Karen she is finishing her Bachelor of Archaeology this year, and has also undertaken Women’s Studies. Both women find the latter have helped them to understand why women have not yet taken an equal place in society and I suspect they feel more comfortable in their own skins about their own early stutters in undertaking tertiary study. Both Karen and Heidi are the first in their respective families to undertake tertiary study. So what do they feel their futures will have to offer? Karen will support and encourage her family’s growth and development. She will be open to further education and applying her knowledge when the opportunity presents. Heidi is considering exploring the archaeology of a colonial prison system. Both these women, by example, provide a good example for young students. They have learned the hard way to try new opportunities when they present themselves. If the going gets rough at university, ask for help, advice and new directions. If it is still too hard, do you rethink? What are your priorities right now? How is your health? Do you need to lessen the load, or drop a subject; should you take a step back to come forward? Whatever your situation, mature age students have advice and experience to offer, if you will take the time and have the courage to seek it out.

Paramore

The Out-of-Order Band Ainsley Ewart

‘Their self-titled album is my favourite album, as it doesn’t conform to any distinctive genre and is instead a wonderful lesson in musical experimentation’.

Paramore is my favourite band. They have been for a number of years. I have seen them through the departure of brothers, the departure of a bass player and the return of a brother. Before that they had numerous line-up changes. Change is an integral part of this band, and I love them for it. It can be confusing, and so I present a simplified series of events that has led to their current form, and might help you figure out who the people other than Hayley Williams are. Paramore were originally created by friends/brothers Josh Farro (guitar), Zac Farro (drums) and Taylor York (also guitar). Taylor and Zac met Hayley Williams (vocals), and invited her to play with them. She then brought along Jeremy Davis (bass guitar), who she met while in a funk cover band. Hayley got offered a solo record deal, and decided to call her friends in to make an album as a band. Taylor York was denied this opportunity by his parents, who wanted him to complete school, and so he remained friends and involved as an occasional writer for the band. Their first album All We Know Is Falling was in production when Jeremy left the band for the first time, which became the central theme to the album. The album got them noticed, and took them on

tour around the U.S. During this album cycle, they churned through two guitarists and a bass player before Jeremy rejoined. Zac Farro, the youngest in the band, was only thirteen years old. By the time their breakthrough album, Riot!, was released, Jeremy had again departed and then been reappointed within the band. “Misery Business” catapulted them to public attention, and they scored a Grammy nomination for Best New Artist (nominated against Taylor Swift and Amy Winehouse, the latter of whom won) while becoming a favourite amongst angsty teens. Taylor York rejoined as a touring member, to be inducted as a full member in 2009. This touring cycle nearly destroyed the band, with them cancelling the European leg due to infighting likely influenced by the break-up of Hayley Williams and Josh Farro. Somehow the band stayed together. I was introduced to Paramore just before Brand New Eyes was released. I’d heard “Misery Business”, I just didn’t know it was by them until “Decode”, their song for the Twilight soundtrack became one of my favourite songs. “Ignorance” and “Brick By Boring Brick” are shining examples of the teen angst Paramore is best

recognised for, and were exactly what I needed as my own teen angst was burgeoning. I saw them live in October 2010, and two months later the Farro brothers announced their departure. I was destroyed. It was my first real band split. But Paramore soldiered on, this time as a three piece. Their self-titled album is my favourite album, as it doesn’t conform to any distinctive genre and is instead a wonderful lesson in musical experimentation. Hayley and Taylor created two of the band’s biggest hits “Ain’t It Fun” (which finally won them a Grammy) and “Still Into You”, but there were still problems. Jeremy Davis left the band for good in December 2015, five years after the Farro brothers. The reasons are not quite clear, as an ongoing legal battle prevents details from being released or the band from discussing it. Taylor York is back to being best friends with Zac Farro. Through this friendship, Zac was invited to play on the band’s latest album, and was then asked to rejoin the band. Paramore, as I write this, is about to release After Laughter, their fifth studio album. The only consistency in Paramore, seems to be their complete lack of order. And I love it.

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Dirty Dancing

On the surface it’s a coming-of-age dance film. However, upon a deeper examination, it’s a feminist exploration of virginity, purity, and social order. Eleanor Danenberg

Eleanor Danenberg The first time I saw Dirty Dancing was when I was 18. I found the video in an op shop for two dollars, and I thought, why not? It was apparently a classic, after all. I decided to watch the really poor quality video one night when I was home alone, and three years later, I still remember exactly how I felt. It was very erotic, mesmerising, lovable, and multidimensional. I wished I hadn’t waited so long to see it, but at the same time, I knew that watching it at this age, I could appreciate it, and actually watch it in a different way than I could have if I were younger. I noticed more in the film with each time I watched it, and I was pleasantly surprised to find progressive social messages that actually aren’t so subtle or cleverly hidden; I just think that viewers can be too distracted by the dancing and the love story to notice the deeper issues in the story. The film explores virginity and the fetishisation of virginity, female sexuality, race and class, and all through a female directed, feminist lens – with a fantastic soundtrack to boot! I’ll give a quick plot rundown for those of you who haven’t seen Dirty Dancing or those of you who have seen it but can’t

quite remember what happens. So, it’s the summer of 1963 and 17-year-old Baby Houseman is vacationing with her well to do family at Kellerman’s, a resort in the Catskill Mountains in New York State. Baby befriends a staff member, Billy, who introduces her to the secret side of Kellerman’s; the staff quarters where they all drink, listen to soul music and dirty dance, and this is initially very shocking to innocent Baby. She learns that one of the staff dancers, Penny, is pregnant, and Baby borrows money from her doctor father (without telling him what it’s really for) to give to Penny so she can get medical help. While Penny is away, Baby fills in for her and learns her dances so she can perform with Penny’s partner, Johnny Castle, Kellerman’s resident bad boy and dreamboat. What starts out as hostility between working class, jaded Johnny and optimistic, privileged Baby, turns into an unstoppable chemistry and romance; he teaches her to dance, and she teaches him to love. When Baby’s father finds out that his money funded an illegal abortion which has left Penny very ill, he’s angry at Baby for being involved in such things, for being involved with such people, and he forbids her from seeing any of them again. Of course, Baby can’t stay away from Johnny, and they have secret sexual liaisons. However, tragedy ensues; Baby and Johnny are found out, her father has a semi-existential crisis that his Baby is no longer pure, and Johnny gets fired for his involvement with

the daughter of a valued customer, and leaves the resort. Despite this dark and dramatic time, Johnny returns for one last triumphant dance with Baby in front of everyone at Kellerman’s. Okay, now you’re caught up, let’s mambo. It’s no surprise there were such social issues being explored in this film; just look at the cultural context. Not only were the 1960s a significant era for social change, but 1963 itself was one of the most tumultuous years in terms of civil rights in the United States: The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan was released, adding fuel to the raging fire of second wave feminism sweeping across the country; US involvement in the Vietnam war had begun the year before, and many Americans were outraged at this; Malcolm X was making waves, and Martin Luther King Jr made his famous ‘I have a dream’ speech; racial segregation was rife across the country, as were the protests against this; and the cold war and space race were ticking along constantly in the background. Dirty Dancing was female written and produced (by Eleanor Bergstein and Linda Gottlieb respectively), and I believe this infused the female gaze throughout the film. Baby is a strong female protagonist; while she comes from a privileged family, she wants to help people, all kinds of people, and she stands up and speaks out when things aren’t right. She’s curious, and an adventurer. She helps the bag boy take the luggage out of her family’s car when no one else does. Her innocence and virginity is fetishised constantly, particularly by her father, and even Baby admits this; “everyone called me Baby, and it didn’t occur to me to mind”. She’s underestimated by everyone around her. She meets Neil, a Cornell hotel management student at Kellerman’s, who is patronising towards her; “are you going to major in English?”, he assumes, to which Baby replies, “No, economics of underdeveloped countries. I’m going into the Peace Corps”. During this conversation, Johnny and Penny greet the visitors and do a show stopping Mambo, and Neil remarks, “Oh, them. They’re the dance people”, clearly indicating the class difference between someone like him and people like that, and class continues to be a prominent issue of the film. Later that night, Baby comes across Billy while she’s exploring the grounds, and he shows her the secret dirty dancing headquarters, a staff common area. This staff is the band members, the cleaners, and the entertainers, the working class people, including black people and Latinos – they’re the kind of people Donald Trump would call ‘bad hombres’. However, the front of house people such as the waiters who are instructed to pay attention to the young female visitors so they’ll get better tips, are white and preppy male Medicine students working in their summer break away from college. One in particular, Robbie, when talking about ‘those’ lower status staff members, remarks, “Some people count and some people don’t”; the divide of class is instantly clear. These dirty dancers work all day, then they listen to soul music pioneered by black culture, drink beer, and sweatily grind the night away. When Baby sees Johnny for the first time, it is clear to her, and audiences, that he’s a bad boy; he’s wearing a black leather jacket and black sunglasses…indoors. He’s older, rebellious, and sexually

experienced, contrasting greatly with sweet Baby, who wears below the knee dresses, flat shoes, and baggy cardigans. As the film goes on, she symbolically starts dressing more confidently and adventurously. The chemistry and tension between Johnny and Baby is electric, including the scene where they are returning from their dance gig and Johnny sneaks looks in his rear vision mirror at Baby changing clothes in the backseat; which is a bit creepy, even for a “wild” man. That same night, Johnny and Baby discover bed-ridden and panicked Penny, suffering from the effects of her illegal and unsafe abortion – although I think it’s important to mention the ‘A’ word is never actually mentioned. The audience is left to piece that together themselves when Billy says they can’t call the hospital, as the hospital will call the police; then, Baby says, “I thought you said he was a real MD”, and Billy replies, “The guy had a dirty knife and a folding table”. I learned from a girlfriend of mine studying Screen and Media that a recurring theme of Femme Fatale films is that the sexually adventurous, independent (and therefore bad) woman is usually punished at the end of the film for what she’s done, for breaking the rules assigned to women. I found this really interesting when I compared it to Penny’s situation, as she doesn’t get punished at all. Baby gets her father to come and help Penny, and he does, being very respectful and kind to her, despite his personal disagreement with what she’s done. With Dr Houseman’s help, Penny’s back to normal in no time, and she beams with happiness when she tells Johnny she can still have children. Then, in the very final scene when Baby and Johnny dance in front of everyone, she and Dr Houseman have a nice exchange, embracing, and then she is seen dancing with the band conductor, smiling and glowing. Unlike Johnny, she doesn’t lose her job. This is such a positive way to depict abortion and the women who have them; she’s not a ‘bad’ woman, she’s not judged by those closest to her, she’s not punished. This night when Dr Houseman helps Penny after her abortion, he asks who is responsible for her, and Johnny says he is; however, the father is actually Robbie the waiter, who wants nothing to do with Penny now that she’s pregnant, but Johnny being Penny’s friend, and a good guy, steps up. Baby then comforts Johnny, putting her hands on his arm and shoulder, and Dr Houseman sees this – big mistake. When he leaves Penny’s room, he shakes Billy’s hand but refuses to shake Johnny’s, walking off when Johnny is trying to thank him for helping. Baby and her Dad walk back to their family cabin and he tells her, “I don’t want you to have anything to do with those people again”, and he also tells Baby to take her make up off before her mother sees it, which is a vintage slut shame. Of course, Baby cannot stay away from Johnny. It’s late, but she goes straight to his private bungalow to apologise for how her father treated him. However, as sensitive and polite as Baby really is, there’s an underlying motive for this visit. She makes this wonderful speech, “I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw, of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you”. The record player is on, the sexual tension is through the roof, but Johnny doesn’t say anything back; >>

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he’s been warned not to get emotionally involved with a guest, particularly one as innocent as Baby. He clearly wants her but he holds back. Then, something fucking awesome happens; Baby stands up and says, ‘Dance with me’. Luckily I watch all of my films with subtitles because I noticed there’s no question mark at the end of that line; she’s not asking him, she’s telling him. Her desire is in the driving seat, for the first time in her life. Baby approaches Johnny and touches him, and he soon holds her, and they dirty dance. She kisses him on the neck and runs her hand across Johnny’s buttocks, and after that he gives her this intense look, and you know it’s on. Johnny then takes off her top (she’s wearing white pants, a white top, and a white bra underneath, the costume designer really nailed the whole ‘white as a symbol of purity thing’) and after some more dancing dips and neck kisses, the camera fades to Johnny and Baby kissing in bed, then it fades to the next morning. This scene is driven by Baby’s desire and her taking control of her sexuality and pleasure. She has agency and she makes it happen, and despite this being her first time, she is not passive at all. This scene is also the most erotic and sexually awakening film moment I’ve ever had the pleasure to watch home alone, * ahem * but anyway, moving on with my professional, complex, and not at all subjective film analysis. After this first time, Baby goes back for more, even going to Johnny’s bungalow and waiting for him when he’s not there. It turns out that they had sex without Johnny even knowing Baby’s real name, and she tells him one day in bed; “Frances, after the first woman in the Cabinet”. #Feminism Their secret doesn’t last long, as a Kellerman’s visitor and jilted lover of Johnny’s, Vivian, sees Baby leaving his bungalow early one morning, and as an act of jealousy and revenge, Vivian accuses Johnny of stealing her husband’s wallet – and Max Kellerman, who’s in charge of the resort, recounts this to the Houseman’s. Baby defends Johnny, but this means exposing herself and their secret; “I know Johnny didn’t take the wallet. I know he didn’t take it, because he was in his room all night. And the reason I know… is because I was there with him”, she admits. Cue Dr Jake Houseman’s crisis, where he ignores Baby, and sits alone in front of the lake, silently sulking that his Baby daughter is no more. She’s no longer his sweet little girl, she’s an illegal abortion funder and sex-haver, what is the world coming to??? His daughter’s virginity was holding the sky up, and now it’s gone, everything is apparently crashing down around him. He sees Johnny as a “predator” who has corrupted his “innocent young” daughter; of course, assuming that Johnny initiated their romantic and sexual relationship and Baby was a passive, powerless victim in the whole thing. Not only did Baby lose her virginity to a working class man who is so beneath her, but Jake still believes that Johnny got Penny pregnant, which is further tarnishing his reputation in Jake’s eyes. Baby confronts Jake and schools him with her young wisdom; “You told me everyone was alike and deserved a fair break. But you meant everyone who was like you. You told me to make the world a better place, but you meant by becoming a lawyer or an economist and marrying someone from Harvard. I’m sorry I let you down, Daddy. But you let me down too”. (Cue mic drop) Baby is clearly referring to his views on class and sex, politely reminding him to pull his head out of his ass.

Johnny leaves after he is fired, but comes back for that famous last dance, and that famous line; “Nobody puts Baby in the corner”. Baby is literally sitting in a corner between her parents, but reading deeper, Johnny is saying, nobody should control Baby, keep her down, stop her potential, or silence her. He is talking to Jake, not so much to Baby’s mother, Marge, as it’s only her dad that is punishing her for what she’s done. We see this so much in society still today – purity balls, and that tired old trope of the father overprotective of his ‘princess’, it’s all about male control over female sexuality and the female body. Johnny and Baby dance their last dance, and all of the accompanying visitors and staff dance too, and it’s so touching. Everyone, regardless of skin colour, income level, and dancing style (the polite and classy, to the dirty dancing), is dancing together in one room; there is no more segregation. Everyone learns a lesson and leaves a better person than they were before – although Vivian is still bitter. This last note may be a bit of an unpopular one… when I get to the end of the film, I always get the feeling that this is Johnny and Baby’s last dance, their goodbye. When Johnny mouths the song lyrics, “I’ve had the time of my life. No, I’ve never felt like this before. Yes, I swear it’s the truth, and I owe it all to you” to Baby, he looks momentarily sad, like they’re both resigned to the fact that this has been amazing, and it’s ending, but they can still enjoy this last dance together. I’m a hopeless romantic and an optimist so I hate to think this, but realistically, how would Baby and Johnny’s future work? Baby is going to college soon and she wants to join the peace corps and travel and help people in underdeveloped countries; would Johnny come with her, or would they have a long-distance relationship? What would happen to Johnny’s dance teaching career, or his opportunity to enter the house painter and plasterer’s union? More importantly, this is assuming they actually want a serious relationship together. They can love each other, and they’ve had the time of their lives, but maybe that’s enough for them. You don’t need to end up with your first love (or your first fuck), you can take the lessons you’ve learned and the memories and the dance moves, and move on – I think that’s an empowering message. Then again, maybe I’m focussing too much on the coming of age love story aspect of the film. What makes this film really special to me is that it’s a cleverly hidden (in the way that it’s not so hidden at all), feminist exploration of virginity (and fetishised virginity), female sexuality, and class, with progressive messages and characters. More coming of age love stories should be like this. I adore Grease, but it’s never sit quite right with me how Sandy changes for Danny. At least I can watch Dirty Dancing and not only love the music, the plot, the characters, but the messages too; help people, trust the good in people, be your own woman, go after what you want, and do a hell of a lot of dancing. Well, that’s what I get from Dirty Dancing anyway.

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Genuine Advice From Your Flinders Ducklord

What are your thoughts on our Universities becoming more like the American System? ~ James Smith Dear James, The American system of universities working its way into Australia is of course a concern. Students are already poor enough and the poorer they get, the less they will have to share with their duck brethren. This could result in a spike in gang violence as ducks beat students for their food. This could cause racial tensions and violence in true American style. If you’re going to take anything from the American system, take San Francisco as your example. Great place. I had some excellent bread there given to me by a student and we spent the next four hours discussing the nature of God before I chatted with a lamp post called Damien. I could never find that bread in store, though, sadly. Love, Miltzz.

What’s your favourite brand of American bread? ~ Cameron Lowe Dear Cameron, That’s quite a quandary you offer me there. I tried many types of bread in America and I can report back with confidence that practically none of it is any good. It’s all over processed and slightly depressing. I enjoy a good sourdough but America offered me nothing of any substance. As a result of this lack of good bread, angry birds suffering from withdrawal have taken to eating pets and small children. This has caused them to grow to colossal sizes. I discovered a subspecies called the Manhattan Monster that subsists entirely on a diet of Wall Street bankers. Regards, Milton.

Dear Miltz, Please explain Donald Duck’s involvement in the CIA? Yours conspiratorially, F.U.C.K. A’Duck P.S. Umberto is a fine name Dear F.U.C.K. A’Duck, Firstly, I do agree, Umberto is an excellent name. Sadly the name brings flashbacks of philosophy students drinking heavily in response to being irresponsibly exposed to Umberto Eco without sufficient warning. The history of Donald Duck’s career in the CIA is one too dark and terrible to recount in full here but I shall do my best. It began by radicalising Mr Duck by exposure to extremist texts such as Mein Kampf. He subsequently was used in many an off-the-books assassination of communist agitators. His shady (and possibly romantic) connection to Putin is a secret that has cost the lives of several informants. Mr Duck is also likely connected to the Iran-Contra affair, believed by some to have even masterminded the entire operation. In 2000, his involvement in handling votes is still a matter of great concern to many. Conspiratorially, X.

23 Dear President Milton, The White House is currently possessed by a terrible demon and its infernal thugs. How shall we exorcise it? ~ Charles Chiam Chuang Chao Oh, Charles, if only I had the answers. I’ve considered releasing the monster that lives in the Flinders lake and sending it to the White House for a proper good feed, but I’m afraid getting a passport for a giant cephalopod is even harder than getting one for birds. My second plan of action was to poison all the food in the presidential store rooms but this plan failed on two counts, firstly, I do not have the opposable thumbs needed to pick locks and thus could not gain access to any part of the White House. Secondly, the whole endeavour was pointless for you see, Americans eat so much poisoned food already that they seem to have developed an immunity to all consumable poisons known to science. As it stands, I did manage to achieve one act of revolt against the White House demon. I did a lovely fly over of the oval office after a big lunch and let’s just say the view into the office is now much approved. I hope you have better luck in your exorcism attempts than I did, Miltz. Milton, who are your top ten American authors of fiction? ~Kuebiko Sung Hello Kuebiko, Thank you for taking the time to ask me such a fine, intellectual question. Where to begin? My favourite American author of all time has to be Robert McCloskey, who am I convinced was actually several ducks stacked on top of one another wearing a trench coat. If you are unfamiliar with his brilliance I recommend picking up a copy of his masterpiece- ‘Make Way For Ducklings’ (1941). (2) Sylvia Plath is a close second to McCloskey. What do you expect when you’re stuck 24/7 with a pair of Plath-obsessed lunatics? You either learn to love her or fly yourself into a meat grinder. As I would not like to become one of the Tav’s signature burgers any time soon, I chose to embrace ‘The Bell Jar’ instead.

Hey Milton! How do I become a paid screenwriter for TV shows in the USA? K? –Thx! ~ Annette Couch Hello Annette, Having watched a lot of American TV during my vacation I’ve learnt one thing- it’s bad. All of it. Okay, maybe all is a bit of a stretch but I’d confidently say most. You see, Americans are very fond of reproducing the same thing over and over again because white people are terribly predictable and terrified of change. My advice to you would be to abandon whatever skill and originality you have. Whole degree in screenwriting? Well, just chuck the whole thing out the window. Make everything you write a cliché and don’t forget to make all the characters white and middle class. Don’t discuss confronting social issues or decry the capitalist overlords. In short- be terrible. Or, if you don’t want to waste your talent and skill write for Australian TV. If you make it, don’t forget to get more diverse shows out there- especially ones with ducks. Good luck, Miltz.

(3) Herman Melville- when I’m feeling frisky chapter 94 of Moby Dick always seems to do the trick, if you know what I mean. Though I cannot fault ‘Bartleby the Scrivener’- for I too live in an office and refuse to leave or do any work.   (4) Stephen King is a constant source of inspiration on those days that I take off for some ‘me- time’ to plan how to drive those pesky human editors out of my home- by force if I must!   I could go on but honestly, I have bread to eat and you probably have work to do. Your well read pal, Miltz.

Would you like to have your question answered by the wise and enigmatic Milton? Contact him on Twitter or Facebook. Alternatively, scream your questions into the abyss and let the wind do the rest.

@milton_ducklord @miltonducklord

Six Things: My First Album

L i ke a Prayer (Madonna)

Hy br id The or y (L in k in Park)

Spice World (Spice Girls)

Fay Hart

Adam Rau

Anthea Stanton

The first album I bought with my own pocket money was Madonna’s Like a Prayer. I was 8 years old and Madonna was a confident female role model in the 80s, when there weren’t a lot of them and when the others were overly pop-y and happy. She was different. Plus, I liked her hair and she’d just made a movie, Who’s That Girl, where she met Sean Penn.

I bought my first album, Linkin Park’s Hybrid Theory, when I was in Year 11. My mates and I would have LAN parties and listen to it together, spontaneously breaking into rap. We were not cool, but we thought we were — surrounded by our computers, consoles and games. My favourite song was ‘In The End,’ but the album was the soundtrack for that year and that time of my life.

Whatever my sister liked, I liked ferociously. So my first album was Spice Girls’ Spice World — the ultimate girl power CD. My mum, sister and I used to play it in the car, since Dad hated it and said we weren’t allowed to play it in the house.

The first time my parents heard the song was when I played it, and they didn’t approve. I wasn’t allowed to play it in the car. I went to a Catholic school and was only allowed to watch ABC, but all my friends loved it too (I’d heard it at three different friends’ houses before buying it). Listening to it, I thought I was a rebel.

I grew out of Linkin Park when my angstridden teen phase ended. That was also about the time I picked up Ben Folds Five’s Whatever and Ever Amen and never looked back.

I identified with Sporty Spice due to her black hair and ability to do cartwheels. My favourite song was ‘Spice Up Your Life’, which was also the song we used for my callisthenics routine where we dressed up like aliens (we were little aliens in the background, while the older kids played out a story of how aliens stole Santa at the front of the stage).

Temple of L ow Men (Crowde d Hous e)

App et ite for D est r uc t ion (Guns N’ R os es)

R icky Mar t in (R icky Mar t in)

Kate Walsh

Chris O’Grady

Sarah Gates

My first alum was my sister’s copy of Temple of Low Men by Crowded House, which was released in 1988. She can’t have known about it, or I wouldn’t be alive now. It’s probably still in my collection somewhere as I don’t like to throw things away.

John Farnham’s Whispering Jack that was the first album I ever fell in love with, but the first album to join my collection was Guns N’ Roses’ Appetite for Destruction — released in 1987. There are probably tons of people who could say the same, since it is one of the best selling albums ever.

My first album was Ricky Martin’s self titled album, released in 1999. It was a tape, originally my mum’s but acquired by me. It’s still in a box in the top of my cupboard. I remember singing and dancing along to ‘Livin’ la Vida Loca,’ ‘Shake Your Bon-Bon’ and ‘The Cup of Life.’ I thought Spanish was the most beautiful language in the world and that I would one day speak fluently. Ricky Martin inspired my second great musical love, Shakira and her album, Laundry Service.

It’s weird that I remember so clearly listening to it with my best friend. I would’ve been eight or nine years old and in primary school. I wasn’t much into music, generally, but really connected with this album. Since then, I’ve maintained a deep connection to Crowded House and I still listen to them.

I must’ve been about 11 years old. I had no pocket money to buy music, so it was a tape passed down from my dad. The Guns N’ Roses concert at the Thebby (the Thebarton Theatre) was also my first ever concert. I was eight years old and it was wild.

In 2012, I fell in love with him all over again when he was a coach on The Voice and in 2013, I saw him perform in concert. Occasionally his songs crop up in Zumba and I’m able to summon a lot more energy.

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Tax Day March in NYC Words and photography by Liam McNally

On the Saturday of Easter weekend a huge portion of Sixth Avenue, one of the the most significant roads in New York, was closed down. It was the Tax Day March, one of approximately 180 such marches across the United States. It held the distinction of finishing as close to Trump Tower as the security services would allow the thousands of protesters. Donald Trump, in true form, dismissed the marches on Twitter, suggesting very few people actually cared about him releasing his tax history. This is not borne out by the sheer number of marches, nor by the massive attendance they saw. A poll by CNN also revealed well over 70% to be be in favour of greater tax transparency from the president. Even Republicans were in favour of Trump releasing his tax history with a narrow majority of 51%. The electoral college victory of Donald Trump has reinvigorated both the Left and the Right. The self-styled resistance of the Left opposes the more aggressively right wing pursuits of the Trump Administration and the hard right is invigorated by the power held by white nationalists such as Steve Bannon. The Tax Day March, however, presents a far more united America. The New York City Tax Day March featured political views ranging from flag-draped patriots to Donald’s natural enemy - the inveterate lefty. The March offered many protesters an opportunity to exercise their creativity and artistic abilities. One poster proclaimed ‘I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours’, another ‘grab him by the tax return’ in reference to the now infamous comment by Trump that he could ‘grab [women] by the pussy’. A number of pinnochios turned up in reference to Trump’s penchant for lying to the media and public. One decided to go all out by turning up in a distinctive home made Trump

‘The response [to the protests] by the man they call 45 is to look at a crowd of thousands and announce there’s no-one there.’ mask with a golden golf club and a bag of ‘Tax Cheetohs’ to combine both Trump’s dubious tax history and his alarming complexion. ‘Pants on fire’ posters proved to be a popular motif implemented by many protesters. Trump’s connections to Putin proved similarly fertile ground for the poster makers. The protesters had to wait their turn to join the overwhelming mass, with a line that curled back up the mile of Sixth Avenue and into the expanses of Bryant Park. Arriving just on time, I saw the massive crowd formed already in front of me. Within a short space of time, however, the crowd extended just as far behind as it did in front. The rally was overseen by helicopters, a crowd of media and a sizeable contingent of NYPD officers. The rally was peaceful, with the only friction being courtesy of two white men who had turned up to hurl racially charged abuse. A march organiser remained on hand to shepherd the marchers away from the white supremacists and stop any issues from becoming too major. For a rally built on a single issue and uniting a legion of individuals spread so widely across the political spectrum, the rally’s peace was remarkable. Despite the success of the March, most pundits were quick to suggest the march organisers would not realise their goals. This did nothing to dull the spirits of the marchers though, as they turned up in force and made their voices heard. Seldom has a president faced such concerted grass roots defiance as this one. Some on American television have characterised the rallies as being decidedly partisan. The broad bipartisan statistics do not bear this out, but the activity at the rally showcased a clear Left Wing attitude. It became a springboard for many other criticisms of the unsuccessful early days

of the Trump Administration. One “antifa” (anti-fascist) protester lead a chant for Trump and others to ‘fuck off, fascist’. Less intensely Left Wing protesters expressed horror at finding themselves in a position to pine for the Bush years. The rally highlighted both the unity and division of the country as a whole. It brought together the majority of Americans who had not voted for Trump in opposition to his dishonesty. It also highlighted that Americans cannot agree on what they most dislike about their president. Is it his divisive attitudes towards people of colour? Is it his demeaning of women? Is it that the government stumbles on as an inefficient band of individuals try to cobble together a system on the run as people rise and fall in Trump’s estimation? This march was one of the most unifying as Trump’s greatest political asset was that he was an outsider who might approach things differently and lay bear the most hidden elements of government. Instead the American people find themselves with a man whose shrouded nature is hard to define as either incompetence or active conspiracy. Much of the country feels threatened or concerned by their own President. Referred to as ‘45’ to avoid even describing him as the President, Trump’s loyalties and honesty are questioned routinely. The response by the man they call 45 is to look at a crowd of thousands and announce there’s no-one there. Protest is becoming the norm in the United States. One week later, protestors took to the streets across the country yet again. This time it was to protest against what many saw as an assault upon the sciences by the President with many expressing disbelief that in 2017 people still had to fight for science. This action, whether it be the Womens’ March, the Science March, or this, the Tax Day March, is a new constant to American life.

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Not Just For Hipsters Why we sh ou l d embr ac e Et h i c a l Fash i on L is andra L inde We’re all guilty of it. How could anyone resist a cute ten dollar top or a budget pair of heels in one of the many chain clothing stores that dominate our shopping malls?

and on the 24th of April 2013, the entire 8-storey building collapsed. This factory was used for the production of clothes for western outlets.

Fast, cheap fashion is the 21st century obsession. Corporations determine clothing trends and shift them constantly so that a person must be buying new clothing all the time to stay within the every-changing sphere of what is ‘invogue’.

An ABC Four Corners report found that a Bangladeshi factory run by the Australian clothing brand Rivers was paying its workers as little as $3 a day. The workers at the factory reported frequent instances of both verbal and physical abuse from their bosses.

But what is the true cost of this fashion revolution? Who is profiting and, far more importantly, who is paying the price of production?

These examples only scratch the surface of the cruelty and inhuman conditions that lay at the core of the global fashion industry.

The disturbing reality is that production takes place in unsafe factories in developing countries, with workers facing low pay and threats of workplace injuries and even death.

The harsh reality is that our decision to impulse buy a cheap top or sale-price pair of shoes is supporting a global industry that is everything but ethical. So what can we, as consumers, do?

One of the most well known clothes factory disasters was the collapse of the Rana Plaza factory in Bangladesh which resulted in the deaths of more than 1,100 people.

One option is to shop from small, ethical clothing brands. The other, far simpler and more economically feasible option for the average 20-something is to buy from an op-shop.

Workers had lodged complaints about the factory building, which was structurally unsound. Their complaints were ignored

Enter the millennial op-shopper. The media likes to portray them as edgy Melbournian hipsters frequenting trendy

coffee shops dressed in musty coats and scuffed brogues because dressing ‘nicely’ is too mainstream. A persisting myth surrounds op-shops across Australia- that they only contain the old, smelly donations of outdated fashions only the elderly would wear. Only hipsters op-shop, the myth says, because for them dressing like an old person is a hip act of counterculture. But nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, some op-shops do have a distinct smell, but that’s normal for a place filled with rack upon rack of clothing. The people running op-shops wash all the clothes they receive, check them for tears and handle them with the same care as any chain shop clerk. Op-shops are, simply put, an ethical alternative to any other shop. More than that, their cheap price tags do not represent low pay for a factory worker. More often than not the profits of opshop sales go to charities. As for the clothes themselves, many of them are relatively new pieces with labels from popular fashion outlets. A single rack at my local Savers yielded garments from Valley Girl, Jay Jays, Best & Less

‘It is far more environmentally friendly to reuse pre-existing garments rather than to add to the continuing consumption of natural resources.’

and even Dangerfield, many of which I’d seen in those stores only a couple months earlier. Still quite fresh trend-wise. One could argue that in order to be ‘in vogue’ clothing retail stores are the only way to go, but I’d argue that one can dress well without giving money to exploitative corporations. Fashion changes happen so often that trends resurface time and again so really, nothing stays out of vogue for long.

Recycled clothing has another ethical benefit. They are reusing existing clothing rather than producing new ones. The production of clothing uses a significant amount of natural resources. One shirt alone can take over 2000 litres of water to produce. Then there is the demand for cotton and other materials, which involves farming and treatment. It is far more environmentally friendly to reuse pre-existing garments rather than to add to the continuing consumption of natural resources. By now you might cry out ‘wait a minute! Me buying some second hand clothing isn’t going to do anything to stop the waste of resources! My purchases mean nothing!’ Though it’s true that buying op-shop clothing won’t save the world, it does have an effect. Op-shops like Savers give unsold clothes from their stores to developing countries to be recycled. Materials can be

repurposed or made into recycled fibre. All of this has a noticeable impact on the amount of waste we produce. Reuse rather than discarding is a sure way to lessen environmental damage. Plus, the more people choose to reuse rather than buy new lowers the demand for chain store clothing. If more millennials bought second hand the effect on these chain stores would be noticeable. Maybe not ‘world-changing’ but they would be felt and supply might lower when the demand is lessened. We all need to be aware of the impact our choice of clothing has on the environment and the workers involved in clothes production. We need to question the ethics of fashion and protest against unethical fashion practices. The only way to make a difference is to make a concious effort to be thoughtful about our choices and their impact.

(Left) The fashion industry is constantly pushing out new lines of clothing, (Right:Top) Workers in developing countries work long hours for as little as $3 a day, (Bottom) The Rana Plaza factory collapsed in 2013, causing the death of over 1,100 people

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LETTER FROM THE US

Texan Uni Life Lee Salvemini Howdy y’all, missing home right now – Easter has just passed and they barely acknowledge it. NO HOT CROSS BUNS, and no holidays which means uni on Friday and Monday. This instalment is about uni life in Austin, Texas. Firstly, UT as we call it is THE major university in Texas and in describing the ins and outs it can never compare to the beauty, elegance and je ne sais quoi that is Flinders. The walk from the surrounding student-swelled residential districts is ten to fifteen minutes. The grounds are approximately the same size as Flinders and that’s about where it ends. The four, five and six-storey halls are packed in, and it has even got to the stage that they are building between the halls to join them together for more rooms. Why? Well, there are 75,000 students and staff so we all need to fit somewhere. And, in between all this there must be room for the statues. Man, the statues – close your eyes, take three steps and you’ll run into one. Crème de la crème is the Fontana de Texas with its horses and devils – blasphemous – maybe. So, smite me! More than that is an area of small statues so kids can close their eyes and run into one as well. Campus grounds are no smoking zones and even though guns are allowed there are GUN FREE ZONE signs displayed from windows all over. The main building houses a 307 foot tower with bells chiming every fifteen minutes to remind us to start, finish or just get a wriggle on. Walking or biking around you’ll not miss the stadium which houses more people than the MCG as well as one of five free gyms the largest having three pools, an indoor running track and the largest workout room this side of, well, Texas. And, if you accidentally smack someone in the ear you’ll break a pair of headphones – kids today! Studywise, because that’s what we’re here for, the University is considered prestigious and students struggle for the right to attend. The overseas contingent is substantial and you’ll hear accents the world over – but not Russian! Lecturers are all addressed as Professor and held in high esteem. The process of getting classes is quite different to Flinders and I found myself lobbying to get into

subjects and even attending early classes with the hope of gaining entry. Fortunately, the Aussie charm is too much for them and I got all the classes I wanted. Subject choice is substantial, and while some may seem obscure, the variety is exciting. Once enrolled, lectures are compulsory with no video recording, and most tutorials won’t allow mobile devices – imagine having to attend classes and concentrate! As for readings, which are at times overwhelming, there is likely to be a surprise quiz at any time which counts towards grades. All this said, students still take shortcuts and many a tutorial brings some undone. And, here’s one for the books. Often through the semester we are given a chance for “extra credit” by attending guest lectures and author discussions, completing surveys, extra readings accompanied by an essay, and extra work over and above the syllabus. Presently, in one subject, I am traveling at 115% - grade that! What it does allow for though is for students to move up a grade which is a good incentive. They have an Australian Literature class which I was invited to attend as a guest. Took in some vegemite sangas, my Akubra, and just said a few words - went down a treat. The Aussie accent opens doors. For anyone wishing to experience Texas life this is a wonderful opportunity, and for Adelaideans, our Sister City makes transition effortless. The International Office here offers fabulous service and is always ready to oblige. One of their initiatives is to have us attend one of the churches in the Mica 6 group. This group of six churches in the area care for the homeless and those down on their luck providing services ranging from a food pantry, to clothing, finance, health and housing. I attended a session at the Methodist pantry and my now fortnightly volunteering is a highlight of the trip. In fact, for the dentistry students this kind of community service is mandatory. The final word: I could keep going on but that’ll do. Next instalment – life in a vegan, clothes optional Co-op house.

Pictured: Above: The skyline of Austin, Texas at night. Below: A Texan welcome, Austin style. Top, opposite page: The University of Texas, Austin campus, the 307 foot tower in the background.

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The Orderly Man Annette Couch

There are certain things that I always ensure are arranged in a particular way. As such, I like my ordered life, and I usually manage to order everything in it. To me, order has great utilitarian value, from increasing the grasp I have on time, to the assurance of successful outcomes in all my affairs, as they are carried out with the requisite detailed planning. Most things in my life are well under my command. I take particular delight in the order I construct through my work at the Department of Weights and Measures. Any week day I can be found at work, creating and manipulating order in vast and complex spreadsheets. I love their lines, the little magical boxes in which I plan my formulae. Each coordinate in a spreadsheet is like the minutiae of my life; nothing is left disordered or unkempt. For example, one square could represent my bedside table and drawer; its formula is set to maximise my bedtime comfort, and its contents interact to that end also. Inside the coordinate box of my bedside table is an alarm clock, one book on carpentry corners, a phone charger featuring a cable measuring exactly 6.5 cm long (any longer and it would curl and become a nuisance), one clean cloth for cleaning my glasses, an easily reached light switch, three folded handkerchiefs, a particular ointment I need

for some rather unsightly and annoying scabs that have developed at the corners of my lips, peppermint tic-tacs, quickeze tablets, sleeping pills, my dear old cat (stuffed by the taxidermist), vicks vapourrub, and a glass of water with a slice of lemon in it. Even when I travel, upon arrival the first thing I do is arrange my bedside table thus (although due to baggage limits and customs rules, I leave my cat behind).

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Each coordinate in a spreadsheet is like the minutiae of my life; nothing is left disordered or unkempt.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; The orderly contents of my bedside table came under my increased scrutiny six months ago, for I was researching how to populate the bedside table and drawer on the other side of the bed, with items that would suit a female partner, whom I envisioned would share the bed. The woman I had in mind never did sleep in my bed however, and it is her loss, for I had furnished her bedside table using the utmost talent and insight. Women need different things to men on their bedside tables, and along with many

other household adjustments I had made, the bedside table was furnished in an orderly manner where no important womanly thing was omitted from its range. The first thing that came to mind was a need for tampons in the drawer, as well as the larger sanitary pads. For I am certain that neither of us would ever have permitted the bed sheets to be tarred with mensus. Having dealt with that part of the body, I decided to work systematically from the feet, upward. I had seen a movie once, where the woman had painted her toenails whilst sitting on the bed, and although I determine the bathroom to be a more orderly place for this activity, it occurred to me that this ritual of self-care, if done on the bed, would assist the woman to relax. So, into the bedside drawer went bright red nail polish and a small zip-locked bag of cotton balls. The remainder of the contents were pyjamas, ointment for cracked nipples, a pair of tweezers, an eye mask, antiseptic wipes, quickeze, vicks, tic-tacs, ear plugs, eucalyptus oil, cotton buds, reading glasses (from the chemist, strength number one) and cleaning cloth, a book titled Madame Jiffyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s De-Cluttering Guidebook, three folded handkerchiefs and five sponge-curlers that she could sleep in, for curling her hair.

All her items were arranged in the manner of ROYGBIV. That is, the items were arranged in this order of their colour: red-orangeyellow-green-blue-indigo-violet. This occurred to me during a flash of brilliance, that women being emotional creatures, would appreciate seeing all these sundry and quaint items ordered successively in rows according to their shade of colour.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I had seen a movie once, where the woman had painted her toenails whilst sitting on the bed, and I determine the bathroom to be a more orderly place for this activity.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; This flight of flair on my part, I saw as the most delightful aspect of this bedside table gesture. Whereas I order my own items in alphabetical order, for the woman, I decreed that order by colour was far more appropriate and certainly, well, most probably, likely to put the woman into a friendly mood at bedtime.

Despite the fact that the woman never came to appreciate the convenience and aesthetic value of the items on the other side of my bed, to my mind, having the items there is almost as good as having any company. Because if I seriously reflect upon the overall disorder of household items that would occur if a woman were in the house, I must conclude that the company of the ROYGBIVâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d womanly objects is more satisfying that the company of women in any case, who are prone to leaving all sorts of things out of place, or so I hear people say. Goodnight.

Done Dying SHEVAUN RUTHERFORD

Before time began the universe was a flat sea of energy. Motionless. Thoughtless. Without function or form. Then, with a word from the creator, the sea tremored and quaked and in a crash of waves the particles of energy distorted into atoms and stars and black holes and galaxies, flung out into every direction. I, the summation of my particles, was a small comet, streaking through the void, the rapidly expanding universe. I was a glimmer of energy, of momentum, of burning light. A simple clump of ice. My trajectory arced towards a clump of dirt, bathed in carbon dioxide and molten rock. The planetâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s weight grabbed me and pulled me into its struggling atmosphere, where I pummelled through burning air, into the fiery Earth. I melted and lifted off the surface, but I held onto my form, one of many clouds of smoke and poison that choked the planet. And slowly, the Earth beneath me began to cool. It transmogrified atom by atom into a planet that breathed. My own atoms began to swap electrons, break and form bonds. I felt myself lighten, reshape, until the water vapour within me condensed and I found myself falling in droplets towards the ground. I became a patch of water atop a great mountain, and trickled into a stream that weaved through the icy range and down into the plains. And the stream expanded into a lake that buzzed with life. I became one with a fish through the process of osmosis, part of the cells that composed its form.

The fish lived and then died and then washed up on the river bank and an insect laid her eggs in the rot. Out of the corpse of the fish I was reborn as a dragonfly, and for the first time was granted with the gift of sight. The world was a kaleidoscope, an image iterated many times in my complex eyes. My long, filmlike wings carried my body on the wind and I spent my life buzzing about. When I first saw them I thought they were monsters, strange pink bipedal monsters who swatted me away with their appendages. Once there was a little one, who did not swat me away but edged close as I perched on a leaf. And when she was close enough she clapped her hands around me and my body cried out. She opened her hands, studied me with her fingers, pulled me apart. I saw my tattered wings fall to the ground a thousand times in my kaleidoscope eyes. My legs followed them. I had never seen them before. They were angular and pricked with minute hairs. She left me in the grass and a bird hopped along. It was dark in its gullet. And then I died. And then I was digested. Slowly, atom by atom, I became the mind of that bird. I could fly again. But my wings were different, and my eyes were different. I ate insects and lived a good life until I died, plummeted right out of a tree and fell to the forest floor. I was dead for a while. My corpse began to rot into the earth and gave nutrients to a sapling. I became that young tree, growing and existing. I no longer had wings or eyes or a mind but I could feel my roots in the soil, pulling in nutrients. I was connected to the planet, interwoven with

the lives that shared the dirt. And I kept growing, stretching, breathing. Until I was struck. My side had been pierced, sending electricity up and down my body. And I was struck again. And again. I broke and fell and was chopped and sanded. My roots were torn away and I was left as an object, inanimate. My body creaked with abuse, forced to hold the weight of people, of the pink monsters. I aged, and wore down. Once there was a peculiar sensation, the heat I had felt as a comet entering the Earth’s atmosphere. Everything around me was burning. I was burning. My form reduced to a pile of ashes. I settled into the ground, was dampened by rain. As time passed, I grew into blades of grass. I was connected again to the earth, before being eaten by a great hoofed beast. I dissolved into its gut, became cells, became one of its organs, pulsating with energy, but heavy with the duty of keeping the beast alive. Then the piercing came again. The beast was struck down, and its lifeblood spilled. I was cooked and eaten by a man. I lived within him as cells in his body for a time, before I found myself within a different being. Soon, I found I had a body all to myself. I had legs that could kick and a mind that dreamed. I was warm, and soothed by a constant deep beating. I was terrified when I was forced back into the world. I cried. For the first time, I was a human.

The changing went on and on. I grew and I reshaped and I formed and I died. Over and over again, I kept on dying. I had been every animal, every plant, every microbe harmful and symbiotic. I had been rocks and clouds of gas and had been a piece of plastic for a very long time, bobbing up and down in the ocean in a cluster of other hunks of garbage. I had been a human of every belief, from every civilisation, throughout history famous and infamous. I had countless contradictory thoughts. I have had so many forgotten forms. But I always clung to my atoms, as they swapped electrons, formed and broke bonds. Each of them had been every element, had formed the simplest compounds and the most complex. I have felt every emotion, every extreme. Both great poverty and great wealth. Great luck and terrible misfortune. I have died and died time and again. Eventually the sun expanded, grew into a red giant that devoured the planets nearest to it and consumed the Earth with the flames of the apocalypse. As the planet crumbled I was ejected from its atmosphere, just a rock floating in the void once more. I did not hurtle through the sky. There was no momentum behind me. I perceived nothing. And in this purer state I reached out to the creator, ever-present to those who listen. They allowed themselves to appear before me. Their skin was the void, and their eyes each watchful star. I asked without a mouth, or even a mind, ‘Am I done dying?’

With a great rapturous boom, I heard them speak, with the voice of every person I had ever been, ‘You have always tried to do what you thought was right and held onto yourself.’ I thought I perceived a sense of approval. And with that my atoms were torn apart across all of space, like a candle blowing out, and I was finally at peace. I had reached enlightenment, such a pure state that I perceived nothing, not even the universe consuming itself until it ceased to exist altogether, until the sea was calm once more. And then with a word from the creator it started again.

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I, A LANTERN L e e za von A lp en

Your smiling eyes Leave me reeling My body becomes a lantern And I am awestruck by this feeling; Like a fire dancing higher Ignited from within and Contained behind this pallid veil Of tingling, freckled skin Because this warmth, this light Can only be akin To a sun emitting solar bursts From deep inside my soul Oh—it’s flaring And this ringing in my ears It’s blaring— A brew of milk and honey, Stewing in the cauldron of my stomach And your laughter makes this feeling So very hard to control

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MORNING AFTER R ichard Fa l k ner

There’s got to be a morning after Or so we were always told But why should we believe in miracles In a world turned harshly cold? There’s got to be a year after Such an Annus horribil. 2016, you took so many of the good And let a fool claim the hill. There’s got to be life after We’ve fucked this world right up. Let the scales fall from deniers’ eyes Change is a tiger, it’s no cute pup.

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Student Council President Greetings Friends! On Wednesday the 3rd of May, FUSA held an Annual General Meeting (AGM) in the Tavern. There were over 50 students in attendance. The meeting was held as per the constitution rules which state we are required to have an AGM once per year.

Jordon Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Reilly Contact Jordon directly via email student.president@ flinders.edu.au, or visit fusa.edu. au or call us on 8201 2371.

We also held it to coincide with some changes we wanted to make to our constitution. Currently whenever a vacancy on student council occurs we are required to replace them in most cases via a by-election. While democracy is important to maintain, we have seen in recent years multiple byelections roll out. These by-elections can often be seen as tedious and annoying to the general student population. They absorb a lot of resources from FUSA including staff workload and student money to constantly run. Money and time that could be better used to support students. What we would see is Student Council appointing someone to fill the role for the remainder of the term. The new rules also allow for student council-elect members to start their term early if a member resigns after the elections but before the new term on December 1.

Other changes include that if a multimember position becomes vacant it will be offered to the next candidate. If any of the positions of President, General Secretary and Education officer become vacant, they will still go ahead as a by-election due to their high importance and higher level of work. The other significant change comes with our clubs, which is to take a lot of the club stuff out of the constitution and refer it to the regulations. The reason for this is when the constitution was created, there were no Club & Societies regulations, meaning they are much harder to change or update if they remain in the constitution. All FUSA members were emailed the agenda and notice of the meeting. The minutes will soon be available online. For more information please contact me.

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Student Council Social Activities Officer YOUR STUDENT COUNCIL IS MADE UP OF 19 POSITIONS, AND WE’LL INTRODUCE YOU TO ALL OF THE COUNCIL MEMBERS IN EMPIRE TIMES THROUGHOUT 2017/

What drew you to the position of Social Activities officer?

Ashley Sutherland

Contact Ashley directly via email, socialactivities.officer@flinders. edu.au or visit fusa.ed.au or call FUSA on 8201 2371. Sign up to the Social Activities Collective at fusa.edu.au/ collectives/#joinForm

When I first came to university, I sat alone in a tutorial room, ate lunch alone, drank coffee alone, went home and cried with my dog, alone - you get the picture. Shockingly, those insufferable ‘ice breaker’ activities that tutors get you to do don’t often lead to genuine and lasting friendships! These things happen best in a natural, unforced setting. Once I had the pleasure of making some amazing friends both in class and at FUSA events, my entire university experience changed for the better. I strongly believe that university should be about more than obtaining your degree. I’ve grown as a person whilst at Flinders, and I can thank my friends and my social experiences here for that. When I started this position, I didn’t have any formal experience working in events. I’m just super passionate about creating a vibrant, diverse and positive campus culture!

What are you hoping to achieve this year as Social Activities officer? The FUSA Semester 1 Pub Crawl has already been and gone, and that was such a fun night! It was awesome seeing everyone out on the dance floor enjoying themselves! Currently, we’re approaching the Roald Dahl themed FUSA Film Festival which will roam various Flinders locations throughout May. I’m in the process of working on some cool

event ideas – for example, a Christmas in July style night market that will hopefully feature delicious mulled wine and hot chocolates, wares from local businesses and some groovy acoustic tunes. Of course, there’s a semester 2 pub crawl in the works, as well as the annual FUSA Ball – which will be held at a brand new venue this year. Here’s a hint: we’re headed down the rabbit hole… What drew you to the position of Social Activities officer? Socialising is a basic human need – and it helps to relieve stress! We all know how stressful balancing study, work, and other commitments can be. It’s important to take time for yourself and relax, see some friends and enjoy a day or night of fun every once in a while. It’s amazing that FUSA can provide affordable, accessible and convenient events for students to attend! I think that the role of Social Activities Officer is an important one because it assures that the ideas behind these events come directly from the voices of students. On this note, I would love to collaborate with more of you! If you’re keen to brain storm some event ideas over a coffee, I’d love to hear from you. Of course, I am also known to enjoy the occasional beverage at The Tavern - so maybe we could organise a group discussion about potential events there.

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Empire Times Quiz 1). Who was the extreme-right candidate beaten by Emmanuel Macron in the 2017 French presidential election? 2). Which British actor played Belgian detective Hercule Poirot from 1989 to 2013 on British television? 3). What year marked the launch of Google on the internet? 4). What city is the home to Romeo and Juliet in Shakespeare’s eponymous play? 5). How many rugby world cups have the Australian Wallabies won? 6). Which country had the highest support of equal marriage recorded when polled in 2015? 7). What district of San Francisco originated the ‘hippy’ movement and ‘Summer of Love’? 8). How many female Prime Ministers has the United Kingdom had? 9). Which former Labor politician joined the Liberal Democrats recently? 10). ‘View from the Window at Le Gras’ is a photograph from 1826 or 1827 that holds what distinction? 11). What is the least populous borough of New York City? 12). The ‘Bertie Beetle’ chocolate is most commonly available at what annual event? 13). What is the date of the Day of the Dead? 14). What world-changing event did the Zapruder film record? 15). What is an akubra? 16). How many American states have two-word names? 17). Who are the protagonists of cartoon show Adventure Time?

18). How tall is Q1, the tallest building in Australia? 19). When did Erik Pontoppidan first describe the Kraken? 20). The toucan is native to what area of the world? 21). Which two Australian Football League teams share the record for premiership victories? 22). What is the primary psychoactive constituent of cannabis? 23). Name the first feature film by Twin Peaks co-creator and acclaimed director David Lynch. 24). Zeus, the King of the Gods in ancient Greek religion, ruled from which mountain? 25). The rainbow flag, a symbol of the LGBTIQA+ movement, was originally debuted in what year? 26). Which Australian bookstore started in Sydney’s Market Street in 1879? 27). What drink is referred to as the ‘Green Fairy’ in historical literature? 28). What is the name of the mythological hybrid creature comprising elements of the rabbit, squirrel, deer, and pheasant, said to inhabit alpine forests in Bavaria, Germany? 29). Gandalf, in the works of JRR Tolkien, is a member of what order? 30). What payment did Judas Iscariot reportedly receive for the betrayal of Jesus?

ANSWERS: 1). Marine Le Pen. 2). David Suchet. 3). 1998. 4). Verona. 5). Two (1991 & 1999). 6). Sweden (with 90%). 7). Haight-Ashbury. 8). Two. 9). Mark Latham. 10). It is the oldest surviving photograph. 11). Staten Island. 12). The Royal Show. 13). 1st November. 14). Lee Harvey Oswald’s shooting of President John F. Kennedy. 15). A type of broad-brimmed hat. 16). 10. 17). Finn and Jake. 18). 322.5m 19). 1752-53. 20). The neotropics in South America (between south Mexico and north Argentina). 21). Essendon and Carlton. 22). THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol). 23). Eraserhead. 24). Mount Olympus. 25). 1978. 26). Dymocks.27). Absinthe. 28). Wolpertinger. 29). Istari. 30). Thirty silver pieces.

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Board Game Baptism Exercises in Efficiency: Worker Placement Games ‘There are multiple paths to victory, meaning that balancing workers and juggling goals will turn your brain to mush, in the very best way possible. Win or lose, players are able to create something unique and personal.’

Patrick O’Loughlin

Worker placement games are some of the most well regarded games in the board gaming, and rightly so. Much of the worker placement mechanic’s popularity stems from its simplicity — every turn basically involves “placement” of a “worker” (illuminating stuff, right?). This basically translates to players placing pawns on specific sections of the game board, then reaping the benefits related to that specific location. And…that’s pretty much it. Placing workers will result in different outcomes depending on the game, and different goals will mean that workers are placed for different reasons. Using and manipulating these foundational rules allows worker placement games to then vastly range in complexity. Lords of Waterdeep is a stellar low complexity worker placement game. The game simply requires players to place workers in different areas of the board in order to receive cubes, which are in turn used to fulfill quests and gain victory points. For worker placement games, it’s about as simple as they come. Apart from the intense thrill of scoring cubes, Lords of Waterdeep, offers delicious

ways to grind the gears of your opponents. This could be a potential strike against the game for some players, who prefer peace and love, but the conflict resulting from the intrigue cards can be amazingly fun. As an example, by placing a worker in Waterdeep Harbor, a cheeky monkey can give another player a mandatory quest, effectively forcing them to fulfill this terrible quest instead of the tantalising main quests. While the game is fun, the theme doesn’t feel related to the game in any way — the game could just as much be about washing your lazy house mate’s dishes while playing exactly the same way. Players usually forget when they take two muscular orange cubes from the supply that they’re recruiting “warriors,” or that the devout white cubes represent “priests.” For the purpose of the game, they are simply a means to complete quest cards, and it is rather difficult for players to even think that they’re going on quests from Dungeons and Dragons (which is what the game is supposedly about). Tzolk’in: The Mayan Calendar is a great example of how tweaks to worker placement can provide wholly different experiences, and is a stark contrast to the low complexity Lords of Waterdeep.

In Tzolk’in, the tweak is provided by everyone’s favourite means of efficient torque delivery: gears! Turns involve players placing their workers on the lowest space on one of five gears, which are in turn connected to a central gear. In every round the central gear moves, shifting all the smaller cogs connected to it. Workers are in turn moved to locations that yield better rewards than the last space. This translates to a conundrum: should workers be removed for short term rewards, or should they be left where they are to reap greater benefits. There are multiple paths to victory, meaning that balancing workers and juggling goals will turn your brain to mush (in the very best way possible). It’s not a casual game you play with your mum, but it can be an incredibly rewarding puzzle. There are also instances where clever themes and brain thumping puzzles are integrated in worker placement games. One of the things that initially drew me to board gaming was the sensory pleasure in touching and moving pieces. This is exemplified in games where players build personal spaces — there is huge satisfaction in being allocated a green

piece of cardboard and turning it into an improperly fenced 19th century pig-farm, like in Agricola. Win or lose, players are able to create something unique and personal, a place filled with adorable wooden cows and sheep. In Agricola, players begin the game as a farmer in a tiny cabin. With the help of your spouse, you begin creating a farm, taking the form of two actions. There is also the opportunity to make babies and immediately force them into helping with farm work, which nets players additional actions. Every few rounds there is a harvest, which allows you to reap the rewards associated with all that glitzy farming work, and then use the harvested food to feed your screaming children and your exhausted spouse. If you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feed them, you get a beggar card, which causes you to lose points at the end of the game. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a depressing life simulation of farming before the industrial age, except you get to pack it up when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re done, eat a few packets of chips and then feel sad about

how gluttonous you are. What a time to be alive! Worker placement games come in dozens of other flavours and complexities, and most satisfy in a number of different ways. If you like the idea of high complexity car manufacturing, try Kanban: Automotive Revolution, or if you like the idea of building something interesting, Keyflower lets you build a village that your player pawns can loiter around in. Art imitating life, once again.

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The Resurgence in Popularity of Nineteen Eighty-Four and The Handmaid’s Tale

Kayla Gaskell

The more I hear about the situation in the United States, the more it seems like our world is transforming into a dystopia. After the ‘alternative facts’ fiasco late last year (or early this) sales of George Orwell’s ever popular Nineteen Eighty-Four were booming, making the top six most popular books on Amazon. Why? Because too many people agree with the idea that America is becoming the controlling dystopia, as presented by Orwell.

can get you into trouble with the thought police. The story follows an every-man, Winston Smith, who doesn’t necessarily set out to go against the system, but ends up doing so in the act of creating a diary, having an affair, and consuming black market goods like coffee. In a world where individuality is effectively destroyed, Winston finds comfort in nostalgia of a time before Big Brother and Ingsoc (a euphemism for English Socialism).

Throughout history, art has been a way to discuss and reflect on the political situation of the time and, as Orwell writes in his essay On Writing, ‘the opinion that art should have nothing to do with politics is itself a political attitude.’

Meanwhile, Atwood describes the reduction of women to the roles of wife (ornamental), aunt (teacher), handmaid (child bearer), Martha (servant), and Jezabel (prostitute). Her story follows Offred, a handmaid in the Republic of Gilead, whose life changes when her commander asks to see her alone, not for the now-illicit sex between a man and a woman (compared to the ritualistic man, wife, and handmaid) but for a game of Scrabble. The commander is surprised to learn that Offred is an educated woman, and uses this knowledge to continue to amuse himself during their secret meetings.

The novel itself, while reflecting on the time in which Orwell wrote it, is also increasingly relevant today. Not only have book sales skyrocketed, but homage has been paid to another dystopian writer as women fight for their reproductive rights cosplayed handmaids from Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale. Many of the current changes in America embody the fear of both these novels. I read Nineteen Eighty-Four for the first time last year. I’d been wanting to read it for some time as I knew it was one of the big important books of the twentieth century. I think I made it out to be something bigger and grander than it was. Inevitably I was disappointed. But that’s not to say I didn’t think it was a good book, just that I went in with almost no previous knowledge apart from it being a very important novel. Atwood’s work was something I had been also meaning to read for a long time too; she is one of the big writers who is always talked about in my English Lit and Creative Writing classes. It took me some time to get through the novel, but I was fascinated by the presentation of the society and the reduction of women’s roles within it. Orwell writes about a time of incredible censorship and surveillance; a time where Big Brother rules and even thinking illegal thoughts

The censorship, the surveillance, and the reduction of women are all reasserting themselves as current issues as America leans further and further towards being a dystopia. While utopia was never achievable, it seems like America is getting further away from the equality so many desperately desire—thanks for that, Trump! I feel like in the last year ‘Trump’ has become an even dirtier word than any ‘f’ or ‘c’ bomb ever could. It is spoken with a sad sigh. Brushed off with a ‘we-will-not-discuss-this’. He is essentially the real-life Lord Voldemort These books each offer insight into some of the issues faced by the people of America, and the world. They are tools for showcasing what was wrong with the world, and what is still wrong with the world—a reminder that we should be moving forwards, not backwards into a state of fear, distrust, and even dehumanisation.

colu m n/ f i l m

Five-Star Movie Recommendations

Deliverance

Words and artwork by Rhianna Carr.

Deliverance (1972) is a classic film directed by John Boorman adapted from the 1970 novel by James Dickey. Being a classic, those who have not already seen the film, known for its controversial and difficult-to-watch subject matter, may know the line ‘squeal like a pig’; and have quite possibly seen the amazing duelling banjo/guitar scene. Even if you are already familiar with these scenes, Deliverance is still a must-see film and these well-known scenes live up to their reputation. In the film, our men choose to go on a canoe trip instead of a quiet golfing getaway. They are forced into numerous abnormal situations while on their outdoors trip, with no way of escape but to continue down the raging river. Ed (Jon Voight) has a wife and kids but finds himself following his nature-survivalist friend Lewis (Burt Reynolds) into the wild. Bobby (Ned Beatty) and Drew (played by Ronny Cox) are also along for the ride. They arrive in the deep forests of north Georgia, USA looking for somebody to drive their two cars to the end of the Cahulawassee River – a fictional river, but based on the real Chattooga River – to be waiting there for them when they reach the end. It’s upon their arrival that they meet the unsettling breed of people – ‘backwoods inbreds’ – they will encounter on their trip. At this point, Drew, a skilled guitar player, takes up a ‘duel’ with a banjoplaying kid (Billy Redden), a scene that proves to be both amazing and creepy. These four men realise after a disturbing, threatening incident (warning: includes a male rape scene) which takes place along the river at the hands of two mountain men, that the motto on this trip is ‘kill or be killed.’ All four main actors of the canoe ‘party,’ did their own stunts in Deliverance. The actors’ faces are seen regularly while canoeing

down the river, so it was not plausible to use stunt-doubles. They all had to train during pre-production to prepare themselves for the physically demanding job ahead of them. Preparations included archery lessons – as the character Lewis is equipped with a bow and arrow as a weapon – and canoeing lessons. Voight chose to scale a steep cliff face without regular rock-climbing equipment because his character had to, in order to kill the man who was of such danger to himself and his party. The only actor out of the main four who had outdoors experience was Beatty, which contradicts the personality traits portrayed by their characters in the story. Although he was not one of the main characters, the ‘Banjo Boy’ is arguably one of the key characters you associate with the film. Redden was found at a school on location and was seen to have the right characteristics for the character – he had the stereotypical ‘inbred’ southern look. The actor did not actually play the banjo, a skilled child banjo player played the chords with his arm reaching around Redden’s side while Redden picked. The character is so recognised, that there is a reference to the ‘Banjo Boy’ character years later in Tim Burton’s film Big Fish, where Redden played the ‘Banjo Man.’ The writer of the book and screenplay of Deliverance, James Dickey – who is also a well-known poet – appeared in a cameo role as Sherriff Bullard. According to Burt Reynolds, Dickey would refer to the actors by their character’s names. Deliverance is sure to horrify you, and possibly stop you from taking any canoe trips or holidaying in the ‘deep-south’ of America, but it’s a great piece of story-telling and film-making.

fe atu re / g am i ng

The Pre-Ordering: Limited Edition THE RISKS OF PRE-ORDERING GAMES Cameron Lowe

‘Pre-ordering has and always will be a risky move. There’ll always be good deals, bad deals, and the downright ugly’.

Pre-ordering an upcoming game is usually a heartfelt moment in the life of a gamer. We pre-order games to get a special edition with extra content to show our love for it, or to ensure we’ve day one access to it.

content then you’ll be looking at an average of $100, which is ludicrous for what it contains. Collector’s editions are far worse: as from writing this, the preorder for the collector’s edition of Tekken 7 at EB Games is $299.95.

The latter in particular applies to games released before the existence of online stores like Steam, when the only way you could buy a game was in physical form, and produced at much lower volumes. However, even before the arrival of Steam, pre-ordering a game was an extremely risky pastime for gamers everywhere, maybe even more now than ever before.

I’m not a fan on this series, but come on, really? Yeah, that statue looks nice, but even if I were a fan $300 is far too excessive for what you get. It’s with editions like this that it’s better to save your dollars rather than scream “shut up and take my money” at the cashier.

Perhaps one of the biggest risks of preordering a game is the lack of knowing if the quality and value of a game is good or bad. I feel sympathy for those people who pre-ordered Assassin’s Creed Unity, only to be given an unfinished game full of ugly bugs and glitches at launch, and for those who pre-ordered Duke Nukem Forever in 1999, only for it to come out in 2011 and tanking huge time. Then again, this is the risk we gamers are willing to make for a game we want, and its incidents like these which makes us edgy about pre-ordering games. The other major risk is the extra amount of money required for pre-orders. Stores like EB Games charge ridiculous prices for their pre-order deals. For your standard edition of a AAA game with a little extra

There’s been times when the risks of preordering have paid off positively. Perhaps the best of these is how I managed to get a NES Classic Mini. My choice to pre-order this console was a last-minute one, after trading in some old games. This last-minute pre-order allowed me to get my hands on it day one, something not many people worldwide got an opportunity to do. I’m even more grateful for pre-ordering it now since it’s been discontinued and selling beyond $500 online. Pre-ordering has and always will be a risky move. There’ll always be good deals (NES Classic Mini), bad deals (Assassin’s Creed Unity), and the downright ugly (Duke Nukem Forever). I’ve been lucky to not be burnt so much with pre-orders, so I will continue to engage in this risky habit occasionally. I’ve fingers crossed that my Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia special edition is as good as it looks.

colu m n / an i m e

3-Gatsu no Lion Rating: 5/5 Shinji-kuns

Words and Art by Emma Hough Hobbs

What’s my pick for best anime of 2016? 3-Gatsu no Lion- no doubt about it. Poetic, peaceful and powerful, from episode 1 it had me locked in and ready for one hell of a ride. 3-Gatsu was broadcast at a weird time, being left until the final season of 2016 the first 12 episodes aired around December and then the final 12 continued into early 2017. Animated delicately and decadently by the stellar Studio Shaft, it’s an absolute treat. Akiyuki Shinbou (TV anime legend) really took the source material to new heights with his fantastic direction showing once again he can do basically anything. 3-Gatsu is a slice of life anime about Shogi (Japanese chess) and I couldn’t believe a diehard edgy-thriller-anime fan like me was starving for my weekly dose of Shogi drama every Sunday. The life of a Shogi professional is a brutal one; just one loss can put your competitive career in strife. Rei Kiriyama, a high schooler and professional since middle school, depends on Shogi, without it he has nothing. After his entire family passed away during his childhood he was taken in by a Shogi master who noticed his

talent, and since then has lived a reclusive life in his one room apartment. Rei’s cold exterior and emotional barriers start to break down as he meets three sisters who have gone through similar times. This is an anime about mental illness and follows how depression causes Rei to struggle with not just making friends but also believing he has the right to be happy. Billowy and bittersweet, 3-Gatsu is there for an emotional and compelling journey in which I enjoyed every episode. The sugar sweet character designs for the show are heavily influenced by the heavenly adorable manga art, everything from the colours to the characters’ soft movement warms my heart. I literally sit there melting at how wholesome this show can be. As light and fluffy the show can look, it can also be shatteringly wet and windy, a strong visual inspiration for the show is the ocean. Simultaneously peaceful and calming yet strong enough to drown you, this notion is imbued in the complex, experimental and exciting animation. I really can’t praise the animation of 3-Gatsu enough, I started watching it

because of Shaft’s previous work and finished convinced this is Shaft’s best work since Bakemonogatari, if not their magnum opus. What really stands out in 3-Gatsu… ignoring the fact that basically every aspect of this show is perfect, are the characters. A slice of life is a difficult genre to make, because the entire plot originates from the characters, their interactions and relations with each other. If you have shitty characters it’s going to be a confusing and frustrating time for those watching. Anyway, the charming cast of the show is what you watch it for. Of course Rei is the centre piece but he is surrounded by a strong bunch of lovable and intriguing side characters who steal the show as they please. 3-Gatsu is probably one of the more understated shows of 2016; it’s not really epic or fantastical like a lot of the other shows. It is however unlike anything I’ve seen before. A must watch anime with a highly anticipated second season coming later this year.