Empire Times 42.4 by FUSA Association

EMPIRE TIMES YOUR STUDENT MAG

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- Editorial -

ello my lovelies!

Welcome to the chaos issue! We have many fabulous pieces ready for your perusal. But first what is chaos? Chaos is standing on a street corner in Budapest, lost, without a phone and not being able to speak Hungarian. Chaos is missing your flight from Ireland to England and having class in 3 hours. Chaos is being in Vienna and forgetting what direction the hostel is in. Chaos is losing your friends and your map in Rome. Chaos is trying to help your Polish friend understand British politics, when all she knows is Russian rule and you are Australian. Chaos is unexpected international flight delays. Chaos is uprooting your life and moving half way around the world to study, without knowing a single person and hoping for the best. My point is, that however chaotic your life is right now, no matter how much you want to give up and throw in the towel, just know if you can get through the next 10 seconds, you have lasted longer than you thought you would. So when things get too chaotic, too stressful, too overwhelming, count to 10, and repeat. Because no matter how many times you have to count to 10 for it to work, eventually perspective will return. Much Love, Laura

ather than take a serious approach on this issue’s theme of Chaos, I thought I’d make note of the less disastrous yet still very chaotic moments we all face. For me, chaos is facing the dilemma of which event you go to on a Saturday night – the Game of Thrones themed costume party reported to have a semiconvincing Peter Dinklage lookalike or the competing party, rumoured to have an adult jumping castle. FOMO is a real thing. Chaos is trying to determine the differences between varied soft drinks that fall under the same product name - what the hell does Diet/Zero/ Life even mean anymore? They could keep it simple for us and just have one alternative to its full sugar brother, labelled ‘presumably healthier’. Chaos is a blackout during a boss battle, the dinner decision of baked beans or tinned spaghetti (both depressing options that make you reconsider your dietary and life choices) and finally, chaos is the moment when the feeble excuse you procured to escape a social commitment develops into an intricate web of lies that you can no longer keep track of. My housemate has a different opinion: “Chaos is growing your moustache so long that you have an identity crisis in a broom cupboard.”

ey guys,

Even as a child, I never really revelled in chaos. Sure, I was disordered in my existence (read: messy) but I always liked to know what I was doing, when and where I was doing it, and how it would be done. I take comfort in consistency and order. Things should be fair, and things should be equal. The rest of the universe...disagrees with me. It likes chaos. It likes changing things and it likes confusing things. Life is not fair. Life is not equal. So in the middle of all this chaos, I take comfort in the consistency of my family, who are always there for me. I bake my lentil cottage pie knowing that it turns out exactly the same every time because I follow the damned recipe. I watch Miss Congeniality because I know how it ends and I like Sandra Bullock’s face. I don’t know. Maybe I should go do adventure sports like downhill motocross paragliding. Or maybe I just accept that I like what I like, and be okay with that, and have another slice of pie. Xx Jenn

Brace yourselves, winter is freakin’ coming. Jess

TOP PICKS FOR THIS ISSUE

p.32 p. 17 p. 24

p. 14 p. 36 p. 38

A Time to Remember We Need To Talk About.. Bali 9

Openly Sexual Study, Love, Freak Out Poetry

TOP PICKS FOR THIS ISSUE p. 12 p. 39 p. 40

Identity Politics Saeklon In the Dark

OH HELLO there. EDITORS Jess Nicole Laura Telford Jenn Matters

SUB-EDITORS Shaun Hobby Simone Corletto Jess Miller Tamsin Alexander Kayla Gaskell Liam McNally Anupol Bordoi

COLUMNISTS Jonno Revanche Emma Sachsse Marat Sverdlov Kaisha Wyld Eleanor Danenberg Kelly Guthberlet Kevin Clark Aden Beaver Bethany Lawrence

ILLUSTRATORS Rafal Banasiak

CONTRIBUTORS Tamsin Alexander Simone Corletto

Caitlin Eve Brian Gardiner Kayla Gaskell

Ira Herbold

CHAOS ISSUE

Issue 4 Vol 42 May 2015 empire.times@flinders.edu.au www.empiretimes.com.au Advertising: stephanie.walker@flinders.edu.au Empire Times is the student publication of Flinders University. All work within remains the property of the producers and may not be reproduced without their consent. Empire Times reserves the right to republish in any format. Empire Times would like to acknowledge the Kaurna people who are the traditional custodians of the land Flinders University is situated on. We would also like to pay our respects to the elders past and present of the Kaurna nation and extend that respect to other Aboriginal peoples. “The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the editors, Flinders University, or Flinders University Student Association. Reasonable care is taken to ensure that Empire Times articles and other information are up-to-date and as accurate as possible, as of the time of publication, but no responsibility can be taken by Empire Times Magazine for any errors or omissions contained herein.”

FUCK YEAHS • • •

Shaun Hobby Ella Keegan-Treloar

Winter is here so rug up and take a thermos to class! We have an active twitter - jump on our bandwagon! Follow us on @empiretimesmag Hunting down super awesome teachers for your reading pleasure

Callum McLean Georgia Riessen Shaun Hobby Sarah Barrett Emma Cresdee James Vigus Kevin Clark

FRONT COVER This issue’s cover is in reference to the metadata feature on page 20. Artwork by Hannah Everett

BACK COVER Artwork by Kristen Mooney

FUCK NOS • •

Exams are upon us New federal budget, more terror

WITH THANKS TO The lovely contributors for sending in their work - we’d have 52 blank pages otherwise. A shoutout to Jenn for all her hard work as editor for the first four issues.

Index INTRO 3

EDITORIAL Introduction

PREZ DISPENSER A message from the President

INTERVIEW WITH COUNCIL Welfare Officer

COLUMNS 12

EQUALITY Identity Politics

OPENLY SEXUAL Sexy Bad Arse Boys and Girls

16 THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING Everyone Suspects the Butterfly 17 WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT The All About Women Festival 18 TECHNOLOGICA Organised Chaos 19 FEMINISM Good Fem Vs Bad Fem 44 LEVEL UP Game of Thrones 47 FOOD REVIEW The Greek Olive 50 MUSIC Death Grips // Jenny Death

FEATURES 10 POLITICS University Deregulation

CULTURE

24 BALI 9 Worth the International Risk?

45 ANIME REVIEW Tokyo Ghoul

26 VOX POP Voice of the people

48 VOX REVIEWS What Flinders kids are into right now

28 KATIE CAVANAGH Your Favourite Teacher

FUN STUFF

A TIME TO REMEMBER 70 years on...

46 CROSSWORD Win movie tickets!

20 METADATA RETENTION So What? 34 WHO WOULD NOTICE Another Mad Man Around Here? 36 STUDY, LOVE, FREAK OUT A Quarter Life Crists

CREATIVE 38 POETRY Hatred A Short Difference of History 39 MICROFICTION Saeklon 40 FICTION In The Dark

Which

Life

Crisis

are you currently experiencing?

pop

vox

24 26

30 5

Photo taken at the John Lennon Memorial Wall in Prague.

LETTERS TO THE EDITORS empire.times@flinders.edu.au

www.empiretimes.com.au

/empiretimesmag

@empiretimesmag

/empiretimesmag

Empire Times Contributors

Dear Overworked Student from Issue 3, Goodluck with Corporate Law! While Flinders Up Close and Behind the Stalls donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exist anymore, we will endeavour to add for fun stuff in the upcoming issues. Please check out the Quiz and Crossword (win a double pass to the movies!!). Love eternally, ET Editors

Dear Editors,

Dear Eds,

Picked up my copy of ET walking near the Library today and loved the variety of the articles! Canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wait for the next issue.

Was reading Issue 2 and really liked the Human Side of Policing. I thought it did a really good job of making the police seem like real people just doing their job.

Love forever, SB

Ciao Hannah B

What’s Going On What’s Going On is a guide to some of the events held on campus at Flinders Uni. If you would like your Flinders University event in the calendar, contact us at empire.times@flinders.edu.au

MON

TUE

Welfare @ Anchor

WEEK 10 18 - 24 May

THUR

Relax @ Tonsley

Mindfulness Class 2pm, Gym

Korfball Training Sturt Gym, 8pm

FLICS Movie Night Nth Theatre 2, 5pm

Muay Thai Training Gym, 5:30pm

FRI Welfare @ Library FUTURE Game Day McHughs, 11am

WEEK 13 8 - 14 June

WEEK 12 1 - 7 June

WEEK 11 25 - 30 May

Muay Thai Training Gym 6pm

Important Info

Clubs Contact Info

WED

Mindfulness Class 2pm, Gym

FLICS Movie Night Nth Theatre 2, 5pm

Muay Thai Training Gym, 5:30pm

Muay Thai Training Gym 6pm

Mindfulness Class 2pm, Gym

FLICS Movie Night Nth Theatre 2, 5pm

Muay Thai Training Gym, 5:30pm

Muay Thai Training Gym 6pm

Mindfulness Class 2pm, Gym

FLICS Movie Night Nth Theatre 2, 5pm

Muay Thai Training Gym, 5:30pm

Muay Thai Training Gym 6pm

Withdraw Dates

Exams Start

WF: 19 June

20 June

Welfare @ Library

Welfare @ SILC

Korfball Training Sturt Gym, 8pm

FUTURE Game Day McHughs, 11am

Welfare @ Library

Welfare @ Sturt

Korfball Training Sturt Gym, 8pm

FUTURE Game Day McHughs, 11am

Welfare @ Library

Welfare @ Tonsley

Korfball Training Sturt Gym, 8pm

FUTURE Game Day McHughs, 11am

Relax and Welfare are events hosted by FUSA with free stuff for students. Go to them!

FLICS

FUTURE

Korfball

Muay Thai

Film Club fb.com/groups/ flindersfacts/

Tabletop Games Club fb.com/groups/ FlindersFuture

Sports Club fb.com/ flinders universitykc (all one word)

Sports Club fb.com/ Flinders MuayThai (all one word)

Prez Dispenser

The Student Council President (“Prez”) is the official spokesperson of students and the Student Council. They make representations on behalf of students to the university, media, government, and external organisations.

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people understand chaos more than most. Since the white invasion and the genocide inflicted on their nations across the continent, there has been nothing but one episode of chaos after another. Separation from land, denial of culture and language, families torn apart, massacres, imprisonment, disease, unemployment, humiliating ‘welfare’ measures... we have all heard the chaotic truths of this history of racism.

being able to meet the minimum levels of access to services. Through no fault of their own, most strangled communities fail basic infrastructure and service standards. Meanwhile super rich mining industry communities, get massive infrastructure handouts, tax subsidies, and laws that favour their continued exploration and expansion. This chaos now means that governments are seriously considering dumping nuclear waste on traditional lands.

Modern times are no exception. In recent weeks, Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander people from across the country – including many who study at Flinders University – have mobilised themselves into protest, to stop the forced closure of over 150 Aboriginal communities, by the Western Australian government. More than 15,000 people face the prospect of becoming refugees in their own country, as they are internally displaced by this brutal new colonialism. In cities around Australia and in the affected communities people are readying themselves to confront a racist government – cheered on by big business – determined to escalate the genocide.

The chaos of forced community closures needs to be challenged, and it has been heartening to see many thousands of people, protest across the country in recent weeks. Indeed their protests have caused ‘chaos’ (which is how the media is quick to paint it), necessarily blocking peak-hour traffic and bringing the normal flow of the city to a standstill. But this is the chaos we need to see more of – more chaos of organised mass collective struggle – chaos that can achieve order for Aboriginal people. There should be no ‘business as usual’ in this country, until the forced closures are stopped.

It should come as no surprise that Prime Minister Abbott wholeheartedly supports the Western Australian government’s actions, recently insulting Aboriginal people’s decision to live on traditional land- on country - as merely a ‘lifestyle choice’. It’s clear that chaos, once again, is being imposed upon Aboriginal communities. The closures of communities such as Oombulgurri have resulted in increasing homelessness, suicides, greater negative contacts with police, courts and prisons, and more forced removal of children from their parents. The forced closures are causing chaos for many thousands of people. The student movement has a proud history of standing alongside Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and communities in their struggle for civil rights, and we should remain committed to the values of self-determination, justice and equality for Aboriginal and Islander peoples. This year marks the 50th anniversary of the student-initiated ‘Freedom Ride’ that confronted and undermined the segregated existence of Aboriginal people living in rural NSW. We live in a chaotic society that defunds Aboriginal communities, resulting in only 7 per cent of those communities,

The Flinders Student Council has voted unanimously to condemn the Abbott and Western Australian Governments’ moves to forcibly close Aboriginal communities in Western Australia. FUSA supports, and will defend, the rights of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, to live on their traditional lands and continue their cultural connections. FUSA calls on the Abbott Government to restore funding for Aboriginal communities and the WA Government to end the political funding blackmail, and work with communities to maintain their connection to traditional lands. FUSA condemns the Abbott and WA Governments’ moves to forcibly close Aboriginal communities in Western Australia. FUSA supports all actions organised by first nations people in South Australia against forcible closure of Aboriginal communities anywhere in Australia. I urge you to visit FUSA or Yunggorendi on campus to find out about the next action because only organised mass collective action can stop these closures. The chaos inflicted for over 200 years on Aboriginal and Islander people must stop, and we must stop it. - James Vigus, Student Council President

Inside Student Council: Welfare Officer

The Welfare Officer liaises with state and national welfare and community sector groups and peak bodies, is responsible for Student Council welfare campaigns, and chairs both the Welfare sub-committee and the External/Regional sub-committee.

Why did you run for Student Council?

•

I believe that EVERY student deserves to be happy, healthy and free from financial stress. I think that it is very unfair that this is not the case, so I ran for the position of Welfare Officer to make positive changes and improve the well-being of all students at Flinders.

running some fun classes in semester two (such as Body Attack and Zumba, as well as continuing with the yoga);

•

and seeking to address university policies to increase help seeking behaviour, access to treatment and support for people having difficulties.

What kind of issues does the Welfare’s Officer handle? The Welfare Officer acts to promote the welfare of all Flinders students – so financial issues, issues associated with being a external and regional student, health issues (both mental and physical) – really anything that impacts negatively on students’ well-being! What is the one issue you’d really like to tackle this year? It’s really hard to just pick one! Most important to me is improving students’ mental health. I am not interested in politics and I am not out to fight for grand, idealistic structural changes – I just genuinely want to improve things for the average student and believe I can best do so by choosing to be pragmatic and working on realistic, practical things. These things include: •

enabling students to reduce stress, improve focus and increase their productivity by offering free yoga and mindfulness classes;

•

trying to ground students and provide a sense of community prior to end of year exams by collaborating with Flinders One to run a Mindfulness Triathlon;

•

seeking to stamp out stigma and the condescending, dehumanising language sometimes used (perhaps unintentionally) by students and staff in relation to people with mental illnesses;

Everything I run I aim to make as accessible as possible and free where I can. How can people help out? There are three main ways people can help out. They can volunteer to help me with events and initiatives. They can also get involved in the Welfare and/or the External and Regional Sub-Committees to help represent and support the needs of external and regional students, and improve student welfare at Flinders University. It is also very helpful when students and staff email me to let me know about welfare issues that would not otherwise come onto my radar. Best way for students to contact you? Students can reach me by email at welfare.officer@ flinders.edu.au or arrange to meet with me in the FUSA office.

INTERVIEWEE Ella Keegan-Treloar, 22, Bachelor of Psychology (Hons) Q: How will the world end? A: Siri doesn’t know the answer so I can’t say.

Politik

University Deregulation

Flinders student protest 2014

‘University deregulation’ is the phrase that no university student wants to hear. It represents a leap towards unaffordable education in a time where Australia should be encouraging all its citizens to become highly educated individuals. Australia can only afford to rely on the resources industry as our strongest source of economic growth for so long. The resource industry is headed towards decline, and the government needs to invest in education, a sector that’s set to be one of five super growth areas for the economy, as reported by Nassim Khadem in the Business Review. Due to the international nature of this growth in education, Australian citizens should benefit from this investment and follow the lead of these countries seeking to take full advantage of the universities available to us. In order for university education to be accessible and affordable, university deregulation is not the answer. University deregulation has been unpopular ever since it was announced in the 2013 federal budget. Since then, it has failed to pass the Senate twice, caused multiple protests such as the March in March and those from student unions, and is unsupported by a multi generational demographic. Considering all this, it is unclear why Christopher Pyne is insisting on pushing this agenda. Is it arrogance that is leading him to disregard what the people and Senate are telling him? Or is it his desperation to live up to the selftitled label “fixer”? Could it be that until recently, he had the support of the Group of Eight universities who only had their own vested interests in mind? If university fees were deregulated, their prestige would allow them to bulk up their fees to unreachable prices, which if left unpaid would go to the taxpayers to foot the bill, while they pocket the cash. However in light of the second blockage to the Deregulation in the Senate, Pyne’s allies the Group of Eight have deserted him with Vicki Thompson the Chief Executive saying they didn’t believe the current package could pass a third time round and that even if it did “ it would be heavily compromised and wouldn’t be in essence what it should”. The Group of Eight called for a de-politicised review of the tertiary system. A review of the entire higher education system is something most can agree with, on the basis that a review of the funding and repayment scheme is needed. Most students attending classes have noticed the dwindling of class options due to universities cutting costs. The Federal Government attempted to slash university funding by 20% in the 2014 May budget but backed down due to heavy opposition from universities. The delay of stable policy around university funding means while the

government tries to figure out what they’re doing, universities are struggling to make a strategy for the future or even to assure students of fee costs should they begin a degree. Instead of coherent public policy on an issue as important as education, what we have is Pyne, smashing his head against a brick wall called the Senate cross bench. Now, to be honest, I’m so thankful for that brick wall. The problem with this issue is that Christopher Pyne has failed to take the public with him on his deregulation journey. He has blatantly underestimated the cross benches power and directing his words to members of the Senate he claimed, “You couldn’t kill me with an axe”, declaring that he would not stop even though his bill had been voted down a second time. Given this comment it looks like Pyne is prepared to try for a third time to get the legislation passed. In order for this to be successful he will need to do some serious political manoeuvring and engage positively with the cross bench by employing some incentives to make the bill more attractive. However, considering what we have seen of Pyne so far, and the avid opposition by both the Greens and Labor, as well as key cross-bench members Jackie Lambie, Glen Lazarus and Ricky Muir, it seems unlikely. We currently face a situation where our universities are in limbo. If we want to maintain equality and accessibility for all students to reach their full potential, and receive the education they deserve, we need to find an answer to this problem. If tertiary education is set to be one of our biggest growing markets particularly for international students we need to make sure that our domestic students can benefit from this, and ensure their place in universities regardless of background. The tertiary system needs a huge overhaul and while I don’t claim to have the answers, I can see that what Pyne has on the table right now is only setting up a generation to be burdened with colossal amounts of debt, while trying to get themselves the high paying jobs they went to university to achieve. Let us have an independent enquiry on education reform, and have a deep politcised discussion as a nation, as students and as staff, on solutions to the problem, and how we can best revolutionise the system to make it our greatest commodity. AUTHOR Emma Cresdee, 20, Bachelor of Arts Emma predicts the world will end with a whole lot of singing, dancing, glitter and chocolate.

Eds Note: How do you feel about uni deregulation? Send us a letter to the Editor!

Equality Identity Politics Opinions by Jonno Revanche “Identity politics” has come to be understood in recent years as an important and necessary type of self-negotiation. Radical feminist, Carol Hanisch, asserted that “the personal is the political”: that mentality runs prominently here, in stark opposition to the kind of liberal feminist utopia where ‘Everything Is Ok and Feminist because I say so’. Typically, those who discuss identity politics or involved with it are first and foremost using the Internet, studying a social science at university, or trying to apply a sort of self made narrative to their day to day life in order to create meaning of context. This is just a generalisation, though. Identity politics can mean everything and nothing, and it’s meaning depends largely on context. Generally, when we talk identity politics in a modern, 2015 situation, we are talking queerness. More often than not identity politics is trans politics…but not all the time. It could relate to race or sexuality over gender, but those discussions are often less diluted and can be addressed in their own spaces. Identity politics and gender theory are often open discussions with the self and with similarly identifying people who feel the need to create their own ideas about living outside the binary. As someone who is non-binary, my interactions with the world are not often necessarily translatable

to a simplified template. There are no examples of queerness in my family or in the media for me to shape myself upon, so I must become my own canvas and create these dialogues and stories for myself. Generally, these are the kind of experiences which are touched upon when we talk “identity politics.” It is sad that the grotesque, often humorous but generally annoying existence of otherkin (people who “identify” as different animals or mythical creatures) for example is conflated with identity politics. With every movement comes an extreme anomaly who interprets things in this way, or can be used as a scapegoat to write off a large group of people. Gender dysphoria is real, gender diversity is valid, and these issues deserve sincere attention and discussion. These thought patterns were inspired by a moment of time at my old uni, where I had come to pick up some papers. “Identity politics is absurd and reductionist” is what I hear them say from around the corner from where I was situated at uni. It’s unnecessarily judgemental, assumptive and presumptuous. I do catch them equating it with “liberal activism.” They’re the voices of people I recognise; though don’t necessarily speak to on a regular basis. They’re people who have been passive aggressive, rude and dismissive to me before. None of them are queer: they’re all straight men, and they

“

There are no examples of queerness in my family or in the media for me to shape myself upon, so I must become my own canvas and create these dialogues and stories for myself.

are socialists, a group you would expect to champion for equality. I am not surprised by their attitude, given that individualism is so often frowned upon in socialist circles – identity politics, or specifically, transness and queerness, because we all know what people are ACTUALLY talking about when they get on the subject – is not a self-centred charade of dress-ups, chit chat and hormones. It’s a way of ensuring survival. I think about this overheard conversation all the way home, pretending that I am Gemma Ward or Naomi Campbell walking in Gucci SS 07, storming down an invisible runway to my house. My permanent bitchface is, as always, proudly on display. This isn’t just an isolated incident iv’e had. In my many experiences with activists and with people I know generally, important ideas and conversations get written off because of an anomaly. The question of the “brony” or the “otherkin” is easy fodder if you’re not willing to open your heart truly to trans people. In fact, scape-goating an obviously ridiculous example of “identity politics” is doing no favours for anyone, and maybe even equates those extremities with people with gender dysphoria. This, above all, is the most humiliating and frustrating part about these dismissals Why do so many of us get thrown under the bus or denied a chance to speak while straight white men, who are always given a platform in our culture, get to be championed as geniuses and leaders, even in socialist spaces? I’m not sure why this caught me in such a huge way. Just two days earlier, I had been laughing with my friend about “identity politics” in a crowded cafe. The conversation had not been entirely off topic to the one I had overheard days later. My thoughts were very specifically engineered, though, and spoken in a knowing tone, as someone who delicately refers to themself as non-binary. I was recognising the circular debate of privilege, how discussions could only go so far, and why my lived experience might not translate to someone who lived quite openly as a transwoman. My conversation was human while remaining critical and my angle was much different, simply because of who I am. That makes all the difference. It is easy to forget how much context matters. If I was making a joke about someone else from a place of privilege, it would be rooted firmly in an oppressive desire and to dehumanise another group. If I’m making the joke or having the conversation, it’s starkly different. I am happy to critique problematic aspects of queer culture. However, this does not mean straight people have the understanding of it, especially considering how damaging heteronormativity is to us all.

”

For these people though, all they were doing is disguising their homophobia and transphobia under the guise of “socialism.” To them, creating offshoots in activism is purposeless, because capitalism is the cause of all those oppressive systems… or whatever. It’s an interesting and not entirely wrong concept, but one that unfortunately dismisses everyone except for themselves. It’s a useful tool for people in progressive spaces to retain their power but pretend they still don’t have it. If you’re coming from a place of privilege, it does not do you well to empathise with those who don’t share that same privilege. It’s easy to say that you’re progressive, to wear the clothes, to make the banners – it takes a hell of a lot more to shift your attitudes and do the most radical thing of all, which is to be a good person (instead of trying to look like one). Sometimes, it feels that this crucial element is so overlooked within political circles even on the left. While the right often is engaged in heavy dismissal of human rights, the left will, quite rightly, campaign for human rights. However, a large proportion of the left often forgets that creating a better world means simply being a kinder person, one who can focus on inclusion and creating happier places for all people to be. All this comes down to is: how can we be better people as activists? It’s a question, and it’s one that needs to be consistently asked if our intentions are pure. There is no guidebook. Listen, self evaluate, and realise that until your own form of revolution is here, some of us are still going to have to live through the tough times of our worlds’ creation.

AUTHOR Jonno Revanche “The world will end after we are all poisoned and killed by a chemtrail mishap.”

OPENLY SEXUAL

“

I think the attraction

is about passion and the

overwhelming chemistry, the

IQ-dropping sex, and

the flattery of someone this cool and sexy taking an interest in you.

Sexy Bad Arse Boys and Girls There is a chance that at some point in your life you will find yourself attracted to what are generally known as ‘bad boys’ or ‘bad girls’. Bad boys have been characterised in the movies as leather-wearing, motorbike-riding, cigarette-smoking, hot rebels. Bad girls are usually characterised in the movies as the femme fatale. Either way, they are extremely attractive, supremely confident, and sexy as hell. Even if your bad boy/girl is a philosophy student with no leather they will still have the charm, intelligence, charisma and a devil-may-care attitude. These qualities will single out the Sexy Bad Arse that will take you on a roller coaster ride that will eventually result in your heart being crushed. It is not that we don’t like ‘nice’ but charisma, looks and power can be overwhelming when you are new to the world of dating or just getting back into it after a long-term relationship. In fact, falling for a Sexy Bad Arse over ‘nice’ can happen anytime you meet a bad boy/girl. I don’t believe the reason why we find these types attractive is because of the whole ‘I can change them’ perception. Initially, I think the attraction is about passion and the overwhelming chemistry, the IQ-dropping sex, and the flattery of someone this cool and sexy taking an interest in you. This is because, quite frankly, bad boys and girls know how to make you horny. If they didn’t know, they wouldn’t be capable of getting so

much sex with so many people whilst behaving so badly. Later on however, after we have invested emotions and feel like we made a mistake, we may end up believing that the bad boy/girl is hurt and wounded. To us, this explains why they are acting like a complete shithead and why we must now heal them. Sex with nice people can be passionate and sexy but they won’t give you that stomach-turning roller coaster of a ride that exhilarates you and makes you want to throw up all at once. Nice people also won’t just leave after sex, or turn up late, or not at all. Nice people also won’t turn up unannounced and drunk, having disappeared for three weeks, knowing that you will still let them in and let them have their way with you. Nice people won’t treat you like second best. However, by the time you start to notice that the Sexy Bad Arse is not just sexy but a bit of an arsehole to you, you will already be hooked on the drama and the mixture of adrenalin and dopamine. Your friends will get sick of hearing about the latest hurt you have experienced, even though you say that it is going to be different this time because of the latest excuse/story/apology. And the Sexy Bad Arse that you are letting fuck you around will have less and less respect for you the more you try to make them like you and the more you try to please them. We all find confident and well put together people sexy, just as we all find doormats pitiable. The trick is to use Sexy Bad Arses the way they use everyone else. It isn’t necessarily their fault they treat people like shit – it may be because they really are damaged or it may just be because everyone has always let them get away with it. Whatever it is, it is not your problem to fix.

”

Enjoy the sex but stay away from anything resembling a relationship. Do not let them apologise for sleeping with someone else, bringing home a sexually transmitted infection, throwing up on your cat, emotionally bullying you, physically abusing you or just generally ruining your life. If anyone treats you badly, get the hell away from them as they are only going to treat you worse in the future, not better. Get support, get help, get away. Now for all you nice boys and girls out there who are complaining about not getting a date because everyone is pining after the smouldering Sexy Bad Arse – think about the fact that you; a) might be lusting after a bad arse yourself, in which case there is nothing but hurt ahead for you. Or; b) aren’t as sexy as the hot bad arse and you will have to wait until the type of people you find attractive have been through enough that they now find nice and gentle more attractive than smoking hot and dangerous.

AUTHOR Emma Sachsse, 42, Psychology (Hons) “As for the world ending, right now I am feeling so sick that I don’t care how, I just wish it would!”

HO W TO S POT A

BAD boy BAD gi rl or

CONFIDENT ATTITUDE. SEXY SMILE. GREAT HAIR. SHARP WIT. AN INSULT FOR EVERYONE. THE ABILITY TO WEAR ANYTHING AND LOOK COOL. A SWAGGER OR A STRUT. A TRAIL OF BROKEN HEARTS IN THEIR WAKE.

HOW TO be a sexy bad arse! 3D

Don’t care what anyone thinks about anything

Be charming

Don’t care what anyone thinks about what you say

Don’t care about anyone

Be confident

Don’t care what anyone thinks about what you wear

Be sexy

on’t care what anyone thinks about what you do

15 * These people are for fun, not for serious, do not let them hurt you. Do not let anyone hurt you. If they do, then pick up your bat and your ball and go.

- Science -

The

Theory Of

Everything Everyone Suspects The Butterfly by Marat Sverdlov ‘Chaos Theory’ gets bandied about in pop media in much the same way as ‘Quantum Physics’, it becomes a hand wave for ‘a wizard did it’. What it actually refers to is the study of systems that are highly sensitive to their initial conditions. That is where a very slight change at the start can cascade into huge differences down the line; huge enough as to render long-term prediction practically impossible even in systems with no random elements, where all the outcomes are determined entirely and only by the initial conditions (these are known as deterministic systems).

prediction may be impossible, the mathematical study of chaos allows for a greater degree of immediate accuracy in models across all kinds of applications. Chaos theory has allowed the development of new types of encryptions, and its use in DNA Computing (that is, biological computers) has led to better ways to encrypt images and info. Chaos theory can be used to develop predictive models in robotics to allow robots to refine their interaction with their environment quicker and better than the old trialand-error approach. Superconductors widely used in many science applications have been improved.

You’ve probably heard of this effect before, under a term coined by meteorologist Edward Lorenz – The Butterfly Effect. Fun Fact: The idea that a butterfly could have some kind of huge history-changing ripple-effect first popped up in Ray Bradbury’s 1952 time-travel short story A Sound of Thunder, and Lorenz initially used a seagull but changed it to the butterfly due to feedback from colleagues after his initial presentations on the matter in the 1960s.

Outside of science and engineering (and of course the weather modelling from whence it came), chaos theory modelling has been used for many fields. From career counselling, building predictive models of the job market to better inform decisions regarding career paths in coming years, to creating predictive models for economies and the flow of vehicle traffic. Even the psychology of group behaviour and dynamics can be modeled. Chaos theory is a field of study with applications so broad we’re only just asking ourselves what we can make out of it, not unlike the development of steel or plastic as building materials back in their own time. The answer is: a lot. A whole lot. And that’s what the deal is with the butterfly.

Lorenz, being a meteorologist, was modelling weather pattern predictions and after running a scenario, he ran it again but in one of his many calculations rounded 0.506127 to 0.506. This seemingly minor change resulted in a totally different weather outcome. This tiny, isolated change is what the butterfly represents. The butterfly doesn’t cause the hurricane, as is commonly misconstrued, it just reflects how the tiniest change in initial conditions can cascade to massive changes. Why do we care? Because while in the long-term

AUTHOR Marat Sverdlov

- Feminism -

We Need to Talk About... The realities of sexism and gender in everyday life

The All About Women Festival by Eleanor Danenberg March 8th, International Women’s Day. The Sydney Opera House was abuzz, packed to the rafters with curious women and men, all feeding off each other’s energy, sharing ideas and opinions. The concept of the #allaboutwomen festival is inspiring; women from all over the world coming together to discuss things all about women – celebrating all achievements and progress made and raising awareness about issues still affecting women. There were sessions such as: Can men’s roles change?, Women in Shakespeare’, a session about creativity and inspiration with the author of Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert, and Conversations with Muslim women, a session raising the significance of intersectionality, and allowing feminists of other cultures to speak for themselves, rather than white feminists attempting to speak or represent ‘for’ all women. Kicking off my day was Australian political commentator Annabel Crabb in her session, The Wife Drought. Crabb discussed how marriage and having children has different effects on men and women’s working lives. When a working woman becomes a mother, she becomes less employable; she becomes a societal target, the elusive ‘how can she balance it all?’ woman. The stereotypes surrounding working mothers are pervasive: she takes time off due to pregnancy and raising children, she’s easily distracted and struggles to keep all balls in the air at once; her abilities are doubted. She will be paid less (on average) than a childless woman. However, when a man has children, he’s seen as a more reliable employee; he works harder and has a competitive edge as he has a family to support now – he’s ‘the family man’. Married men earn on average more than their single counterparts, while the reverse is true for women; what an interesting double standard… The highlight of the festival was the satirically titled How to be a Feminist panel featuring prominent women both from Australia and overseas. When asked about the biggest issues facing women today, American writer Roxane Gay and Australian journalist Clementine Ford focused on reproductive rights: free, safe, stigma-free abortions, and affordable, accessible, appropriate childcare facilities. Australia’s most famous contemporary radical feminist, Germaine Greer then raised the undeniable point that popular Feminism is ageist. She spoke about the fact that focusing on reproductive freedom and workplace matters, while not considering all that comes after, such as the treatment of people in aged-care facilities, and the ‘invisibility’ that older women widely experience is inherently ageist.

Rosie Batty’s session on domestic violence left the audience silent out of respect and admiration - save for many quiet sniffles. The statistics Batty discussed were horrifying; domestic violence is more deadly and common than cancer or road accidents: more than two women per week have been killed by a current or expartner in Australia this year. Batty also introduced the Domestic Violence awareness App released by the Australian Government, 1800RESPECT, and herself; Daisy. Australian comedian Judith Lucy and author/cartoonist Kaz Cooke wrapped up the festival, pointing out the sexism present in the television industry. They specifically focused on an advertisement spruiking ABC’s 2015 programs; seventeen men were counted, and only four women – two of which were co-hosting with men. Lucy and Cooke also discussed the pressure on women to have children, and the perception of the ‘fundamental female failure’ if we don’t. A friend of Lucy’s once said to her, “I didn’t feel I’d climbed the mountain of Womanhood until I’d had a child”, to which the childless comic responded, “Well I’ve had a pap smear and that was some serious indoor rock climbing”. Empowering and inspiring events like this don’t come along every day - luckily this festival is returning to Sydney in 2016; I hope to see you there. I’ll leave you with some inspiring words from the festival… “I’ve got my shit together, and it’s staying together” – Rosie Batty “I like daring to believe that my opinions matter” – Roxane Gay “Liberation is on the way…Kim Kardashian is no help at all” – Germaine Greer

AUTHOR Eleanor Danenberg, 19, Bachelor of Arts (High Achievers) Q: How is the world going to end? A: Tony Abbott’s speedo will take over the world. Eds Note: Many of these talks are available online. Check out the Ideas at the House YouTube channel!

technologia rganised Chaos by Kevin Clark Pretend you are a kid again — not the malicious type that burns ants with a magnifying glass, though you may have been, but the curious type who watches ants as they are scattered from their ant hill for some unknown reason. Perhaps it rained, perhaps it’s being removed, or perhaps you broke in to see what it looked like. Regardless, you are faced by an element of seemingly chaotic mess. Years down the track, around the present time, or at least around the time you finally have the heading of that essay you are writing, you do some internetting and find out that those ants were a little more sophisticated than you thought. In fact, there are scientists who get paid to poke them, prod them and watch how they behave when pushed through a funnel. Surprisingly, they behave quite well. When the ants are in water, and the common goal is to stay afloat, they can cling together and become quite elastic. When they need to move over objects, they can flow like a liquid, still maintaining their connection as a king of surface tension. In fact, other scientists have even mechanised this group behaviour to allow small ‘dumb’ robots, called kilobots, to form complex shapes without being able to communicate more than a vague idea of the plan to others, and certainly with no centralised leader or concept of where there place in that plan should be. Neither the kilobots nor the fire ants are overly bright. In fact, both would struggle to follow an internal instruction set more complicated than “follow this line and hold onto that.”

the other hand, are marvels of technology. At the moment they do require the ability to know the shape as a whole, and the point that the user wants to be the bottom corner, but from there they work out where they need to be on their own. All they have to do is follow the edge and fill from the front, much like the ideal layout of a theatre or lecture. It is now 2025: surveillance is even more prevalent than it is today, because no-one really cares when the national interest is best saved by it. Communication over a large distance can be noisy, energy-wasting, and space-consuming, however short distance communication is easy and efficient. So much so, that the ten thousand mosquito-bots in your neighbourhood are able to pass information the short distance between each other regarding how long after your cup of coffee you had to go use the toilet, and what the pH of your urine was at the time. Individual robots don’t know what they are doing, and one or two hundred lost isn’t detrimental. It doesn’t even pose that much of a security risk to the rest of the network if they are captured, as they don’t know anything much on their own. Instead, you simply find that your next tax return comes as a graph indicating what percentage, above welfare, surveillance is now costing alongside a brochure on proper hydration. Apparently not even a longblack coffee is an adequate replacement for the occasional cup of water. But in the words of many Pinterest users quoting someone much more famous than themselves, “Life is Divine Chaos: embrace it.”

While the ants are within the realm of biology, and biology is cool, that is not why you are reading this column, hopefully. The robots, on

AUTHOR Kevin Clark, 20, Bachelor of Engineering (Software)

- Feminism -

“

Feminist: a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

“ Good Fem vs Bad Fem by Kaisha Wyld I have been asked many times why feminists don’t fight when they disagree on a particular feminist perspective. I would like to take this opportunity to let you know that feminists do argue with other feminists. FEMINISTS FIGHT. They fight oppression, they fight the patriarchy, and they definitely fight each other. This idea that feminists don’t fight has been created out of a dichotomy within the feminist community, and it’s causing a lot of chaos. The ‘good’fem and the ‘bad’ fem. The good fems seek new information, have done their research, and actively listen to other perspectives. Their views may not agree with mine but they are still interested in my perspective and will help support the parts they believe in. Overwhelmingly it seems that good fems are quieter in their arguments, and they tend to work behind the scenes. The bad fems keep telling you that you’re wrong with no reason as to why; their script is stuck in a loop and they have readymade retorts to each of your comments. They refuse to even acknowledge that someone with another perspective would ever dream of understanding their stance and why they stand for it. They tend to be the outspoken ones who demand that you allow them their privilege, and dare I say it, they use feminism as a cover for their misandry.

backgrounds and have different educations and influences. Despite all our private fighting, I still support feminists who are advocating equality publicly. Despite all our fighting, we maintain a solid front. The downside of this is that we keep being asked if good fems ever fight with bad fems. It would be absolutely fantastic if we saw some public disagreements (see? Look! We don’t agree with this bad fem! Here’s why and how their perspective doesn’t meet our expectations of equality!), but at the same time it would further divide a movement that doesn’t need division. An even larger downside is that many people who are arguing against the bad fems publicly don’t identify as feminists because they don’t want to be stereotyped as a radical and illogical feminist, and thus it is still believed that good fems and bad fems don’t fight.

As with any movement, there are differences in opinion and perspective. I have argued with many feminist friends and non-friends. I have been called a mansplainer (generally a male explaining something to a woman in a condescending way because she is a woman), a sympathiser, and a bigot. I have been blocked from Facebook pages and people have stopped talking to me. I assure you, feminists fight. A LOT. Good fems and bad fems fight all the time.

Feminism still has a long way to go, and good fems and bad fems fighting each other in public will do little to solidify our movement in the modern world. Unfortunately, a great deal of the time you’ll hear about the bad fems in the media and that’s how we seem to be represented. We can’t argue or criticise in public though, as then we wouldn’t be advocates of equality and freedom – and that’s what feminism is all about.

Why don’t you see us fighting? We tend to fight behind closed doors, in private chats, in person, or in comments that are later deleted off of public forums. I cannot remember a public feminist fight. I attribute this to our solidarity. Regardless of what we believe in, and are fighting for, deep down we are all fighting for some form of equality, and each has their own perspective on how this can be achieved. I respect that. I respect that we all come from different

AUTHOR Kaisha Wyld, 22, Psychology (Hons) Kaisha predicts the world will end in a fiery climax of ignorance and stubbornness. Only openness to new ideas will change that.

- Feature -

Metadata Retention: So what?

— Scott Ludlam, Australian Greens Senator

In June 2013 Edward Snowden began releasing a large swathe of classified NSA documents, which revealed mass surveillance of US citizens by US intelligence agencies. The ‘Snowden Releases’ were a terrifying insight into just how pervasive the systematic invasion of privacy was, not just in the US, but around the world. The new Metadata Retention Scheme created by the Australian Government is nowhere near the scale or invasiveness of the US system. However, the potential for our legislation to expand its boundaries is large and the lack of transparency associated with warrantless attainment of personal information is concerning. Despite these damning revelations, many people failed to recognise how these spying programs affected them personally. John Oliver recently demonstrated during an interview with Edward Snowden himself that many Americans aren’t even aware of the issue, let alone care about it. While I won’t borrow from John Oliver’s sketch on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and try to relate metadata to dick-pic retention, it is interviews like this that make the politics of privacy more tangible. Nor are the Australian metadata laws as likely to reach the levels of the UK Optic Nerve program, where over 1.8 million Yahoo users had their webcam data collected, with a large number containing levels of ‘undesirable nudity’ according to The Guardian report. Closer to home, and specifically concerning metadata, there has been vocal opposition to the initial government proposal. However, much of that energy dissipated when Labor nominated to make it a bipartisan issue after the inclusion of several amendments to the Liberal’s bill. Amongst the most significant of these amendments was a reduction in the number of departments and groups who could access captured data without a warrant. The original proposal

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“If you imagine the idea of having somebody sitting right over your left shoulder, following you round every day, recording everybody you talk to, everywhere you go, what you’re wearing, if anything changed hands, follow you into the bathroom, recording your most intimate relationships, we wouldn’t tolerate that kind of creepy behaviour in the real world…”

included organisations such as the RSPCA and the Australian Post Office (in case, you know, mail fraud?) among those who could access your metadata. However, Labor and the crossbenchers argued that many of these organisations, if they really needed access to your metadata for their investigations, should at least have to go to the trouble of obtaining a warrant. Despite the bipartisan support, the amended bill still had vocal opposition from many of the crossbenchers, especially the Greens. Most notable was Senator Scott Ludlam’s unwavering support of privacy. As many have pointed out, it’s not about having something to hide. On a personal level, it’s about people wanting the power to choose what can be released about them. On a wider scale it’s about journalists, unionists (with the worrying nod in the bill towards the Australian Building and Construction Commissioner), whistle-blowers and any others who might fall out of favour with the government, government agencies, or large corporations who should have some guarantee that they cannot be targeted when acting in the public interest. Under the current legislation, journalists will not even be made aware when their metadata is being accessed to try and uncover sources, although a special court will be asked to evaluate whether or not the information is truly in the public interest under a ‘journalistic warrant’. Further, having ‘nothing to hide’ for now doesn’t mean that you won’t in the future. This legislation opens up the precedent for legislators to expand what the government has the right to store and access. If the metadata wasn’t going to be useful and revealing, no one would collect it. Returning to Edward Snowden: “What you care about is the metadata, because metadata does not lie. People lie on phone calls when they’re involved in real criminal activity.

- Feature -

They use code words, they talk around it. You can’t trust what you’re hearing, but you can trust the metadata. That’s the reason metadata is often more intrusive.” This is a systematic invasion of privacy on behalf of a government, which has demonstrated that it cannot keep private data safe, in fact the Department of Defence has specific guidelines for the inevitable accidental ‘spill’ of confidential information. Let us start with the assumption that I don’t have anything which that I really want to hide from the Government or it’s investigative agencies. Let’s pretend that I am also comfortable with the Government, and and any nominated agencies being able to collect all of this information without a warrant. Last year, an employee charged with looking after the personal details of Barack Obama and the other G20 leaders accidentally emailed them to the Asian Cup Soccer League. That is, a federal employee did not have the relevant training and composure to not leak the details of people much more important than myself, on accident in an email to a large, commercial, sporting competition. Given the rate of cybercrime attacks, and the vulnerability of public sector employees as an IT asset, I want to make sure there are as many technical, legal and political barriers in place between my data and the Government as possible. Even better, I would really rather it not be stored longer than necessary, if at all. While many companies have already been keeping this information for short periods of time , the new legislation introduces lengthier retention periods, and reduces the barriers needed to access it. No longer are journalists able to guarantee to a source that their identity is private, or even on a need-to-know basis. While Labor did increase the barrier slightly in this case, it is still a direct attack on the identities of whistle-blowers, who will receive limited protection in very specific cases of demonstrable criminal activity or direct policy breaches, and this is made worse when combined with last year’s increased penalties for whistleblowing activity. Further, there are no special protections in the bill for lawyers and doctors despite the high chance of them handling personal data of a nature which an individual might not want accessed without a warrant. Even then there are no guarantees that the data will be destroyed after two years. While businesses won’t spend money deliberately keeping it, the Government might. Or it might just linger a little past the two years until the storage space is required again. Either way, ‘done’ does not mean ‘gone’.

decision on how much of this will come out of the Government’s budget and how much will be passed onto ISPs (and thus their customers) directly. While I won’t go much further into the politics of cabinet members being ‘good fixers’, this is just another ‘surprise’ the Government wants to save for later. This represents more unnecessary spending on ineffective policies from the Government elected in on the back of promised cuts. This brings us to the important question of, “could this be effective?” Snowden certainly backs the effectiveness of harnessing metadata, however many other critics are less certain. MPs have been quoted encouraging VPN (Virtual Private Network) use as a way to get around the storage of metadata, as then the ISPs are only storing the fact that you are making a lot of connections to a VPN server(s), rather than going websites x, y, and z before sending a bunch of Skype packets to an IP located at Bazza’s house. They also have the advantage of being widely used by businesses and security conscious individuals for very legitimate purposes making them hard to target legislatively by Government. Although, even this might be under attack with recent moves to amend the Copyright Act not ruling out restrictions on VPN use, at this stage Finally, I think the work of the Australian Federal Police is important. I accept that Australia could be at risk of potential terrorist threats, particularly with increasing societal and governmental measures to further marginalise and disenfranchise anyone who does not look or sound like the group in charge at the moment. I do not think the solution is to target everyone with an indiscriminate collection of private data using measures that may be circumvented by those actually ‘targeted’ under the law.

AUTHOR Kevin Clark, 20, Bachelor of Engineering (Software)

The second major problem is funding, with estimates being between 188 million and 320 million dollars, with no concrete

H ING C N S U L S E Y E R E FR IR D NER HA ATIO ITIES ST TIV ORE AC D M AN

ELAX R / U A . U FUSA.ED

I was only 19.... Mum and Dad and Danny saw the passing out parade at Puckapunyal It was a long march from cadets The sixth battalion was the next to tour and it was me who drew the card We did Canungra and Shoalwater before we left And Townsville lined the footpaths as we marched down to the quay This clipping from the paper shows us young and strong and clean And there’s me in me slouch hat with me SLR and greens God help me - I was only nineteen From Vung Tau riding Chinooks to the dust at Nui Dat I’d been in and out of choppers now for months And we made our tents a home, V.B. and pinups on the lockers And an agent orange sunset through the scrub And can you tell me, doctor, why I still can’t get to sleep? And night time’s just a jungle dark and a barking M.16? And what’s this rash that comes and goes, can you tell me what it means? God help me - I was only nineteen A four week operation, when each step can mean your last one on two legs It was a war within yourself But you wouldn’t let your mates down ‘til they had you dusted off So you closed your eyes and thought about somethin’ else And then someone yelled out “Contact”, and the bloke behind me swore We hooked in there for hours, then a God almighty roar And Frankie kicked a mine the day that mankind kicked the moon God help me - he was goin’ home in June And I can still see Frankie, drinkin’ tinnies in the Grand Hotel On a thirty-six hour rec. leave in Vung Tau And I can still hear Frankie, lying screaming in the jungle ‘Til the morphine came and killed the bloody row And the Anzac legends didn’t mention mud and blood and tears And the stories that my father told me never seemed quite real I caught some pieces in my back that I didn’t even feel God help me, I was only 19 - Written and performed by John Schumann and Redgum

John Schumann is a Flinders alumni, having studied a BA here in the 1970s. From Flinders he went on to create songs, in particular “I was only 19 (A Walk in the Green Light)”, which was first released in March 1983. The song explores the psychological and medical side-effects of soldiers serving in the Australian forces during the Vietnam War, and in this 100th year of the ANZACs it is important to pay hommage to all service people who have fought. Look out for an interview with John Schumann in an upcoming issue.

BALI 9 - Opinion -

WORTH THE INTERNATIONAL RISK?

CHAOS: INDONESIAN EXECUTIONS, A HYPOCRITICAL AUSTRALIA AND AN IGNORED WORLD OF CHAOS AND SUFFERING. Indonesian President Joko Widodo faces an internal chaos. Poised as the “reform president” he has got the attention of much of the Western world. At the time of writing, Indonesia moves closer toward executing numerous convicted drug smugglers. Widodo has to choose between risking condemnation from the rest of the world, possible disagreements with his own moral compass, or going against the popular will of the Indonesian people in favour of placating the rest of the Western world. The “drug war” in Indonesia has come to near breaking point with sovereignty being put up against diplomacy.

the highest levels but this differs from public outcry and public gatherings of support. Who knows, but maybe the “Australian way” isn’t always the gold standard it’s proclaimed to be. Personally speaking, form your own opinions of course, I believe that much of the modern “Australian way” comes down to what I believe to be the inherent nature of Australia – a convict state with everyone wanting simply what is best for them with no regard for potential consequences. Simply, to me, people seem to want to have an easy life under the guise of “a fair go”; in doing so they don’t really care if their conduct is illegal until they get caught.

Indonesia has the right to impose their criminal justice system. It doesn’t violate international law to execute someone after they have been convicted of drug smuggling. I am over the whole media circus surrounding the upcoming executions in Indonesia. How can the Australian and world media focus on such a limited number of people about to be executed when their focus and attention should be on the real issues facing the world?

If being Australian means finding the easiest way to everything and complaining when others aren’t overly ready to help, this is not an Australia I want to live in. This isn’t even beginning to touch on the notion of Australia being multicultural, whilst simultaneously being inherently racist – the Reclaim Australia rallies of late are but one mere example.

There is real chaos in this world and it demands our attention. Why is an Australian life worth more attention than the lives of many suffering throughout the world, either at the hands of radicalised idealists or simply through a natural lack of resources? I’d hazard a guess that more Australians know about these executions in Indonesia than about the racially perpetuated genocide currently occurring in refugee camps on the outskirts of Syria.

Back to Indonesia – whilst I believe capital punishment to be morally wrong, I have to reinforce that it is Indonesia’s right. After all, those who are being executed did commit a crime under Indonesian law and they were aware of the potential punishments for their actions if caught. Yes, there is the notion that they have been reformed, but that doesn’t negate the fact that they committed a crime and if they hadn’t been caught they would have likely continued their trade and turned a healthy profit at the expense of others lives.

I’d be a fool to believe that everyone is equal in this world – in reality this is simply not true. Pragmatically, some lives are worth more than others and this is neither a good nor bad thing. However, I draw the line when two convicted criminals are put on a pedestal, to be mourned, simply because it is the “Australian way”. Yes diplomatic efforts should be made at

If the executions do go ahead, which they likely will, they will draw international criticism. This is healthy, to an extent. The criticism should be proportionate and not focus on the actions of individuals, but instead the morality of capital punishment itself. Important diplomatic relationships that have taken years to develop, should not be “thrown away” in an instant just because

“ I’d be a fool to believe that everyone is equal in this world – in reality this is simply not true. Pragmatically, some lives are worth more than others and this is neither a good nor bad thing. However, I draw the line when two convicted criminals are put on a pedestal, to be mourned, simply because it is the “Australian way”.

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two Australian citizens have gone and committed a crime in another country, and in being caught have had to face the consequences of their actions under that country’s laws. It would be unfair to perpetuate suffering upon the Indonesian people, due to boycotts, because of the actions of a few. Ironically, the United States and Japan draw nowhere near as much criticism as Indonesia has, despite being the nations with the highest number of executions in the world. If the United States, and their systems of government, are the “gold standard” for which developing nations are to aim towards – which was official United States policy and unofficially that of the Australian government through their support in Iraq – then it is immensely unfair to criticise a developing nation for following in the footsteps of their “ideal”. Capital punishment

needs to come under scrutiny but this should begin from the top down – not the bottom up. There is no doubt that Widodo will be tested – is he strong enough to stand up to the international community? Only time will tell. In the meantime Australia needs to look closely at itself – we are at an impasse that will determine the future of our country. Do we want to pride ourselves on innovation, acceptance, hard work and integrity or venture further down the self-loathing path of greed, complaining and the eternal search for any easy way out? At the end of the day a decision needs to be made – the executions need to be commuted or carried out so that the world can once again focus on the relatively bigger issues that matter to a broader demographic of global society. We need to push the human race forward on numerous fronts and we cannot do that whilst we continue to waste precious time being hypocritical on how a developing country decides to punish their convicted criminals whilst ignoring global suffering. Relatively small episodes of chaos, and the ensuing suffering, should not be allowed to prevail over the major atrocities of our time.

AUTHOR Brian Gardiner, 21, Bachelor of Paramedic Science Brian predicts the world will end by an accidental nuclear holocaust launched from outer space.

VO Q.

1. Bachelor of Mathematical Science 2. Order. I like to be on top of my study/life and understand what I am doing. Although, a little chaos every now and then doesn’t hurt; keeps thing’s interesting 3. I would want everyone in the world to be able to have their say and be treated equally across the board

4. Our social lives are becoming quite chaotic nowadays with all sorts of new social media available to everyone. It is much easier to make contact these days via the internet, which comes with implications. In general, technology is seeming to take over the world 5.Psychology

6. The people that are in a position of power will cause the world to come to an end. Conflict between these people will result in the world ending due to their strong opinions and powerful resources at their fingertips

Nathaniel

1.WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING? 2. DO YOU PREFER CHAOS OR ORDER IN YOUR LIFE? 3. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH THE WORLD IF YOU WERE IN A POSITION OF POWER? 4. WHAT’S THE MOST CHAOTIC THING ABOUT LIVING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW? 5. WHAT’S ONE TOPIC YOU WOULD NEVER GET INTO A CONVERSATION ABOUT? 6. HOW IS THE WORLD GOING TO END?

1. Bachelor of Science (Nanotechnology)

1. Bachelor of Health Sciences

2. Order, because you can control the chaos

2. Both. It doesn’t hurt to have variety in life

3. World domination

3. Help to make a difference in terms of poverty

4. Living in the world – it’s chaotic all on its own 5. Rejections

6. The poodles will take over after being forced to wear those stupid outfits

Sergei

4. ISIS 5. -

6. No idea

Michael

2. Ordered chaos – my room is example #1. It makes everything planned and scheduled but still that hint of not caring

3. I’d like to think I’d sort it out – listen to people’s opinions, not just a small, economically overinflated few. I’d like to help everyday people with things they’d otherwise have no hope of achieving 4. Uni, planning life, juggling one million things

5. I don’t think I have one – try me! 6. I’d like to say something awesome like a meteor, but really us humans are going to destroy each other and the planet

Nikki

1. Bachelor of Computer Science 2. Order – allows ease of stress and allows management

3. Cooperation with all countries on the planet to support each other and achieve everlasting peace across nations

4. The world lacks understanding of each other, such as occurring wars and everyone getting along with each other (e.g. discrimination) 5. Myself

6. Perhaps loss of our sun or maybe sooner if global issues cannot be resolved

Ryan

pop

X O 1. Bachelor of Medical Science

1. Bachelor of Information Technology (Digital Media) 2. Order/Repetition 3. Tell everyone to chill the fuck out 4. Driving through town 5. Something that neither party knows very much about (hearsay) 6. Heat death of the universe

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Katie Cavanagh Nominated as one of Flinders University’s Best Teachers by readers of Empire Times, Jess Nicole chats to Digital Media’s coordinator Katie Cavanagh about uni life, the Digital Media course, waking up before sunrise and what she wishes her students knew about her. “Lecturing. All of the lecturing, all of the time.” - Katie Cavanagh on what she does at Flinders University. Katie Cavanagh is the course coordinator for the Bachelor of Media and the coordinator for the Bachelor of Creative Arts (Digital Media) here at Flinders University. She moved from California to South Australia in the late 80s with a drive to become a Medievalist. With no employment opportunities in Medievalism, she studied a Bachelor of Arts at Flinders University. She majored in English Literature while living in the old University Hall, rowing for Flinders and financially supporting herself through a part time job at Pizza Hut. When asked what uni life was like for her at Flinders, Katie says there was a heavy load of study for her English Lit classes: “we had to read so many books during the week.” Differing from the structure of classes today, Katie reflects on her tutorials being held in the lecturer’s office with occasional drinks of champagne, playing the recorder and writing poetry. Having relocated from overseas, she says there were initially a “couple of lonely years” where she worked out the distinctions between Australians and Americans in terms of how they make friends. She recalls, “it was just different…I would send out signals, which were ignored or not received, and they would send out signals ignored or not received.” Katie also majored in bronze casting for three years at the North Adelaide School of Art (now combined with the Centre of Performing Arts as ‘The Adelaide College of the Arts’), which she describes as “crazy and wonderful.” Following this, she took on a job working in multimedia production wearing lots of suits, flying around and managing a team for five years then went back to do her Honours in English Literature. Katie currently lectures and coordinates the Digital Media course which, at the beginning of 2014, saw talented students partner with Adelaide’s School of Visual Effects and Entertainment Design: CDW Studios and its director Simon Scales. What this means for Flinders, is that upper level Digital Media students can do a CDW topic wrapped up in a Flinders topic for eight weeks, where they can learn industry specific skills. This is particularly beneficial to Honours students as they can expand their portfolios and can meet with industry people right before they go out into the working world. Katie elaborates that this creates opportunities for students to work with professionals like the rigger, Jared Embley, from Rising Sun Pictures or the production designer, Deane Taylor, from the Nightmare Before Christmas. In asking Katie how she can, as one of her students put it, “have you walking to class with a spring in your step”, she responds with

Katie’s office is bursting with film and game memorabilia, quirky posters and a Team Fortress 2 Dr. Grordbort’s Righteous Bison Ray Gun replica.

the pertinently rhetorical question “how could you not have someone with a spring in their step when they’re doing what they love?” Katie explains that she understands that life as an artist can be very hard, and so she tries to make her students’ learning environment a place where they can be imaginative, supported and “can do what [they] want to do.” While the “endless admin” of her role is a drawback, Katie says the best part of her job is being around student artists and “spending all day with creative people, doing amazing things.” Under Katie’s wing, Digital Media students can work on video games for AVCon, digital sets for props and plays, 2D animations, matte paintings, visual art, blue screen and graphic novels. Naturally, Katie gets tired and sometimes feels grumpy.. So, it is unsurprising that when asked “what do you wish students knew about you?” she responds that, on occasions, students should know she can be short with people. She explains: “I wish they knew how much a small question that I’ve asked a thousand times can be enough to push me…it’s not a personal thing but sometimes I snap.” Outside of teaching and working hands on with students, Katie has maintained her passion of rowing from her uni days, and gets up at 4:50am most mornings to “row all year” on the River Torrens. “Rowing, kids and work… and Facebook” takes up most of her time, along with racing surfboats on the weekends. In the brief moments where Katie is bored on a weekend and has answered the “1500 emails” she gets a day, she will visit websites such as The Cool Hunter (thecoolhunter.com.au), a design and culture website. Also on her top hit list are Wired (wired. com), an emerging technology blog which she

describes as having links leading to “Aladdin’s Cave” as well as the highly recommended TED Talks (ted.com/talks). As a Digital Media disclaimer however, Katie says, “digital media is everything. It’s just so omnipresent…be aware that you’re consuming junk food with the good food in terms of what you’re looking at.” That said, she confirms that casting a wide net is the best way of knowing what’s going on. INTERVIEWEE Katie Cavanagh “How is the world going to end? Hopefully very suddenly. The world is going to end because of something small like bees… you laugh…it’s totally true. It’s going to be something little like the loss of the bees. We’re going to be hitting a tipping point and that’s why I hope it’s going to be quick.”

Check out the next page for the work of one of Katie’s students, Rafal Banasiak.

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A time to remember: Auschwitz 70 years on 70 years. It sounds like a long time and yet for some, the memory of the Second World War continues to torment. There are people alive today, that do not need to read about the atrocities committed in Europe in the 1940s from textbooks; they lived it. With the 70th anniversary of the end of the largest war that the modern world has ever seen, and with it, the liberation of prisoners from the concentration camps, it is important to reflect on the biggest act of evil committed during the period, the Holocaust. It was 75 years ago that the largest concentration camp in the world, Auschwitz, was established. The Auschwitz camp began in May 1940, and operated for almost five years before it was liberated by the Soviet Union in January 1945. During that period, in the combined Auschwitz-Birkenau camp alone, more than 2.1 million people died. When you read a figure like that it is often hard to quantify, the number is so horrific that it almost seems unreal. It seems almost incomprehensible that the entire world stood by as the Nazi regime tried to destroy an entire sub sect of society, and yet this is exactly what unfolded. Auschwitz developed rapidly during the course of the war. The complex was divided into three main areas, Auschwitz, Birkenau (Auschwitz II) and Monowitz (Auschwitz III). The camp was initially designed to hold Polish civilians as an intimidation technique for those opposing the German occupation. By the beginning of 1942, the function of the camp had changed completely, with Hitlerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;final solutionâ&#x20AC;? plan in place and the

extermination of humans, most of whom were Jewish beginning. Auschwitz became a place synonymous with death, genocide and holocaust. Trainloads of European Jews were sent to the camp, with approximately 70% being sent straight to the gas chambers. The rest were then tattooed, stripped of their clothing, shaved, and sent to live in the camp as a form of slave labour. The conditions in the camp were atrocious and most did not survive. Of those who were tattooed, only 65,000 made it out of the camp alive. As the war continued, Birkenau especially developed into the main centre of Jewish extermination. Large-scale gas chambers were constructed at the beginning of 1942 and from then on it was apparent that this was to be a site of mass-murder. In November 1944, with the Nazi regime coming to an end, those in charge stopped the gassing, and a mass evacuation and burning of infrastructure was ordered. On the 27th of January 1945, when allied forces finally liberated the camp, little remained, and much of the camp had been destroyed in an attempt to hide the horror and destruction. January 27th has been determined by a United Nations General Assembly Resolution as International Holocaust Remembrance Day, because it is the day, 70 years ago, that the AuschwitzBirkenau camp was finally liberated. It is a day, designed to remember the genocide that saw the death of more than 6 million Jews, 1 million Roma, 250,000 mentally and physically disabled people and 9,000 homosexuals, as well as to commemorate those who survived, and live with the scars of a horror we cannot even begin to imagine.

In 2015 the aftermath of the holocaust continues to ricochet through Germany and indeed throughout the world. 93-yearold Oskar Groening, a former guard at the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp, is currently being charged as an accomplice to 300,000 counts of murder. There is no statute of limitations relating to holocaust crimes in Germany, and this makes it possible for former Nazis and guards to continue to be tried in a court of law. The issue is about accountability and whether or not this man is responsible as an accomplice. Leaving aside the moral and ethical factors for a moment, and looking solely at the facts, Groening was responsible for sorting out money and belongings from exterminated prisoners, guarding the belongings of prisoners, and bore witness to the deaths of many. However, it is alleged that he himself never directly killed anyone. Known as the “accountant of Auschwitz,” Groening was one of many who stood idly by, while hundreds of thousands were slaughtered, but legally he specifically committed no act of murder. The prosecution’s case argues that the concentration camps were designed for the purpose of mass murder and, as such, any individual who participated in the running of said camps could be considered an accessory to murder, but in the eyes of the law, is this enough? Unlike many who took part in in the exterminations at the concentration camps who deny their involvement, or even attempt to deny the occurrence of the holocaust itself, Groening accepts that he has a responsibility to admit to what he participated in. In a statement to the judge he

said, “I ask for forgiveness. I share morally in the guilt, but whether I am guilty under criminal law, you will have to decide.” But at 93, is it too late for atonement? And under a regime where it was conform or die, is it fair to punish one for the sins of many? If found guilty, the maximum sentence that Groening would serve is a 15 year term in prison however, because of his age, it would likely be considerably less. In charging Groening and sending him to trial, the prosecution hopes to send a message to those in our global society who continue to commit appalling crimes against humanity. Even 70 years after the event, it is never too late to be held accountable. As we reached an anniversary like this one, it is important to reflect on what occurred, so that the human race never again stands by as millions are barbarically killed in the name of purity. Although time goes on, the scars of the holocaust remain alive as a constant reminder of the evil that lives in our world. They say that time heals all wounds, but we must make sure that it does not forget all wounds.

AUTHOR Sarah Barrett, 20, Bachelor of Education (Middle/Secondary)/ Bachelor of Arts Sarah predicts the world will end quietly- it will close its eyes and never wake up.

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NOTICE

ANOTHER MAD MAN AROUND HERE...

A RETROSPECTIVE ANALYSIS OF BLACKADDER GOES FORTH AS A MEANS OF OUTLINING THE HORROR THAT SERVICEMEN, PARTICULARLY THOSE DURING THE FIRST WORLD WAR, ENDURED A RETROSPECTIVE ANALYSIS OF BLACKADDER GOES FORTH AS A MEANS OF OUTLINING THE HORROR THAT SERVICEMEN, PARTICULARLY THOSE DURING THE FIRST WORLD WAR, ENDURED. This year marks the centenary of Australia entering an imperialistic military conflict, getting slaughtered for King George V and through this forging a national identity. So, to mark the 100th anniversary of ANZAC involvement in World War One, I’m remembering another construct of our colonial forefathers, Blackadder Goes Forth. The fourth and final series of Blackadder by Ben Elton and Richard Curtis aired on BBC in 1989, and saw our intrepid, cunning ensemble in a trench on the Western Front in 1917; twenty yards from heavily armed forces who want to kill them. But they weren’t in this predicament by way of accident, they were there fighting for their country, like every soldier throughout the history of mankind. This semblance of the men was alluded to during a mention of the 1914 Christmas truce, when “during one Christmas piss-up” both sides moved further than they would in the remainder of the war. For the rest of the time Captain Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson) and Co. found themselves in far more dire circumstances than their prior incarnations, and so the show was underpinned by a dark pathos and a universal anti-war message. Despite this, Blackadder remained a sitcom. But, the jokes were never derived from the horror of the mechanics of WW1, rather it was from the ‘cunning’ plans to escape the claustrophobic confines of the front line, the more foolish aspects of the characters and the strategies of war; a highlight of which was a brilliant explanation of how WWI started and how it may have involved “a bloke called Archie Duke [who] shot an ostrich ‘cause he was hungry.” In short, Blackadder made of mockery of the absurdity of the

First World War without ever making fools out of the men in the trenches, for which, it deserves total reverence. Of the men who made up this madness, firstly we have Captain Blackadder, who by his own admission, joined the British Army fifteen years prior, when it was essentially a travel agency for gentlemen with an abnormally high sex drive. With him is his long-time sidekick, Private Baldrick (Tony Robinson), the epitome of the Tommie, who tried to make the best out of a dreadful situation (which is nothing short of admirable when your situation involves being shelled, bombed, and drinking dandruff flavoured mud-coffee). Their fellow front line soldier is Lieutenant George (Hugh Laurie), a hopelessly optimistic Oxford-graduate from the upper class who joined the army because everyone else was. And ‘leading’ the battle from 35 miles behind the front line was General ‘Insanity’ Melchett (Stephen Fry), who has complete disregard for the lives in his hands and Captain Darling (Tim McInnerny), Melchett’s aide whose name was a source of constant comic relief; “every time his name is mentioned it’s just like a knife in his heart twisting round, his hatred and self-loathing and his denial is just getting more tortured. ” We also see the return of the late Rik Mayall as Flashheart, who swoops in for an episode to steal the show in typical Woof-ish fashion. Whilst just as conniving and occasionally as cruel as his ancestors, this incarnation of Edmund Blackadder is markedly different from his lineage, “The world-weariness of Blackadder, was something extraordinary. Something kind of beaten down. He was not necessarily going to win all the time, and knew that he wasn’t. Which gave it a kind of darker edge.” Despite

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Blackadder’s fatalism the majority of the show’s humour came from his witticisms in the face of his hopeless situation, “For two and a half years, the Western Front’s been about as likely to move as a Frenchman who lives next door to a brothel.” All of this brilliantly satirical bleakness, is fully realised in the final episode, Goodbyeee, which is considered a standout of not only this season, but the whole series. In this episode the ensemble, minus General Melchett (who due to his rank, was spared becoming ‘cannon fodder’), find themselves being forced to go ‘over the top’ and into battle. In doing so, they bravely accept their resigned fate as well as their futile and perhaps pointless sacrifice “Millions have died, but our troops have advanced no further than an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping. ” It is in this acceptance of his inevitable death that, Blackadder marked himself from the others; after five hundred years of being defined by Machiavellian behaviour, Blackadder gets his redemption. When the time to go into the battlefield comes, there is no running away. Blackadder not only faces death but leads the charge with great empathy, his final words to his men are simply; “good luck everyone. ” Amongst the sadness and horrific tragedy of going into battle, it was a hauntingly beautiful final scene.

and the only ones who are simply trying to survive this war. However, when they realise they are facing the same devastating fate together, the modicum of respect that underpinned all their taunting is fully realised. When Blackadder asks Darling how he’s doing, he responds “Not all that good Blackadder. Rather hoped I’d get through the whole show, go back to work at Pratt and Sons, keep wicket for the Croydon Gentlemen, marry Doris.” Which to me summed up that which millions of men lost. Darling didn’t dream of having an eminent life, just the opportunity of having one. And regardless of what happens to them in conflict, a life interrupted is what all servicemen sacrifice. AUTHOR Georgia Riessen, 19, Bachelor of Arts Georgia predicts the world will probably be brought to an end by the pricks who own 4WD’s, despite the fact that they only have two kids and never leave the city. And if she’s there for it, she’ll be listening to Kabul Shit by Lily Allen.

Perhaps strangely, this piece doesn’t finish with our titular antihero; it finishes with his arch enemy, Captain Darling. As writer Ben Elton not so eloquently said, “Darling and Blackadder are kind of the same.” They are the two most intelligent characters

Words by Tamsin Alexander ‘So what are you studying?’ – the phrase you hear most as a university student. ‘A Bachelor of Behavioural Science,’ is my reply, followed by, ‘so basically psychology’ due to the blank face they give me. ‘Oh yeah, and where do you go from there?’ My second most heard phrase. I take a deep breath before answering. ‘Well, my course is three years, but then I need to do honours and then go on to do masters or a PhD and from that I can become a clinical psychologist.’ I’ve said this more times than I’ve said my name, I swear. This is also what I’ve been telling people for the last eight years. Not that I’ve been doing my bachelor for eight years, but I just knew since the beginning of high school that that was what I wanted to do. Till now. Since I’m only in the bachelor, I need to apply for honours. They told us this in first year and it’s all I remember from the one hour tutorial about where psych can take you. That, as well as the standard ‘there are lots of things you can do’. I’m a little sketchy on the details though – who needs to pay attention to what’s going to happen in three years’ time? – probably past me. So at the beginning of this year I decided I should probably figure out how you go about getting into that honours thing. I went to the School of Psychology site and found all the honours info (which did actually take some time since finding

anything specific on the Flinders site is ridiculously impossible). Reading through the info it says applications open in September – awesome, don’t have to worry about it for months, I think to myself. Then I see this: ‘Research Warning!’ printed in large, red letters. This was followed by ‘honours … has research work as a major component’, meaning the thesis (well duh), and ‘research, statistics and research methodology are a large component of coursework topics. If not keen on stats, method and research, might want to consider other opportunities’. Shit. Cue my first quarter life crisis for the year. Up until this point, life had been going pretty smoothly. My friends and I were all catching up and spending time together, my boyfriend and I were doing okay, I knew where I was going in life, and what I was going to end up with. I always knew I’d have to figure out what to do when honours came around, but I went into university going ‘it’s alright, I’ve just started. I have three years to figure it out’. Now suddenly I’m in that third year and everything’s coming along a whole lot quicker than I thought. It’s like being on a roller coaster and you’re supposed to figure out while you’re on the ride that you’re meant to pull the break yourself, if you can find it. From this point, it just went downhill; I didn’t know if I wanted to do honours any more since I hate research work. I had enough trouble in year twelve doing the great and mighty ‘research project’. I didn’t know what I was going to do when I finished my bachelor. My boyfriend and I finally sat down and actually verbalised how our

relationship wasn’t working. Two of my best friends, who had been going out for three years, broke up, and with the return of uni, seeing everyone regularly was an impossibility. On top of all this, my dad lost his job and my grandmother passed away suddenly. Life was chaotic and I felt crap. And sometimes I still do. I’m not entirely sure how I even got through it all. Setting aside some time, however, to just think about everything that’s come to pass (while drinking copious amounts of tea) has been good for me to keep in touch with where I am now and how I got there. Also opening up to my friends and telling them how I was feeling meant that I didn’t feel like I was carrying everything on my own. Every now and then something reminds me of how things were and I get myself all worked up about it. But in time

I’ll learn to move on from it, just like I do with every other problem that comes my way. I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to do with my life yet, but hey, I’m only twenty, so I have plenty of time to freak out about that later. For now I’m focusing on completing my bachelor and thinking about different areas of work that might interest me. I miss the comfort and security I had at the beginning of my first year of uni. Cliché as it is, if it’s meant to be, it’ll work itself out – and that goes for a lot of things. While I’m not able to see my friends as much as I’d like, we make

sure to frequently ask each other how we are and if we’re dealing with everything okay, to remind ourselves that it doesn’t matter how crazy life gets, there are always going to be people to help you through it. AUTHOR Tamsin Alexander, 20, Bachelor of Behavioural Science Q: How is the world going to end? A: Voldemort returning as a White Walker and taking over with his White Walker army, for sure.”

- Note from the Eds For those struggling with a quarter life crisis or any crisis for that matter, contact: Careers and Employer Liaison Centre: 8201 2832 Flinders University’s counselling service: 8201 2118 Oasis, faith and wellbeing centre: 8201 3530 Lifeline: 13 11 14

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Hatred Hatred is handed down, inherited by the kids, spoon-fed fear slobbering down their gibbering chins. They eat it all up because you don’t bite the hand that feeds you. You don’t wake the sleeping lions, you let them sleep, because in waking they will con-sume you mindlessly. They eat you all up. And the kids prefer their lily-white vision of the world, in all Its simplicity… Its domesticity… (I get that, but I prefer I didn’t. I don’t like the white you’ve injected into my eyes They make it hard to see anything.) … (I hate that you make me into a liar, denier, Suppressor and instigator of my own misery. I hate that you create this Frankenstein’s monster of me; You pick and stitch the things you want to see in me, to me.)

Words by Callum McLean

A Short History of Difference Awake one day to the shuddering groans of water pipes. Discover that the words have gone, language stolen in the night. Watch sun claim the territory of the window sill as the dark retreats. Pace the room, failing to speak, in the morning glare. There’s nothing you can say. Feel it rising in your throat, unable to escape. Nowhere to go. The syllables are on strike. The dictionary quit in a huff. (It’s drinking cocktails on a beach somewhere and eyeing the wait staff.) You can’t complain. You don’t know how anymore.

Words by Ira Herbold

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Saeklon Bam! And the dirt is gone. When the grime is wiped clean we’re shown a superimposed virgin surface. The lie of a fresh, glimmering bench top. Reality is nothing like that. The cyclone passed over the landscape, sucking the life from the earth. Forests, communities, civilisation reduced to a smeared wetland. There are fatalities, displacement, and disbelief. Parents are going through the motions in order to hold their families together. Clothes are strung out on branches, tin, anything. The disaster is drying out. The young don’t understand; naivety protects them. They’ve been allowed out of the house in their underwear. But there’s only out now. Their parents want to scream and cry and shake the truth into them. ‘We get to go out in our underwear!’ Children playing in the trees confer, realising no one has seen Sophi since the storm. Parents pray Pam didn’t steal her in the night.

Words by Caitlin Eve

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In The Dark

Words by Simone Corletto The lights went out. Linus opened his eyes. At last, the room was empty. He floated, submerged in the warm, comforting water of his sleeping tube. Gentle bubbles rose from the filter, passing through his gills before being exhaled and popping on the surface. The outside chamber danced with the glow of the vitals monitor. It would be a lot colder out there with the temperature control turned off for the night. He secondguessed himself for a split second—nothing more. He had to do it. He had to know. His father played a lot of games with him back then. Board games, ball games, cards, sometimes games on screens with blinking lights and moving shapes. Other days there were tests. Running, jumping, reading and writing. As time passed, there were more tests than games. Father watched over him with his ever-present clipboard, sometimes on his own, sometimes with others. Linus didn’t like these men as much. They stood in white coats and grim expressions. They never smiled or called him a good boy like Father did. They just stood and watched. He pulled off the sensor patches, let them sink to the bottom of the cylindrical tank. If he was lucky no one would notice for hours. Last time they threatened to sew on the patches, but Father talked them down. Kicking off the glazed bottom, he glided up to the top of the cylindrical tank and to the edge. He had to be careful. No one was watching the cameras at this time, but there was an alarm rigged to the tank’s exterior. He pressed his hands and feet to the glass, thousands of tiny suction cups gripping the surface. Curling his fingers over the top of the tank, he perched on the narrow edge momentarily before dropping down onto the spongy mat with a slight squelch. He froze, listening. There were no footsteps in the distance, no lights blinking on. He exhaled, padding around the oversized aquarium to the table by the wall. Linus silently picked up the lone framed photo—a young smiling boy, blue skin, almost fluorescent compared to the white-coated-arm of his pale pink father, embracing him. He placed the photo face-down on a pile of books on the side before stepping onto the table. Reached up, he felt along the smooth wall for the cold metal edge of the air-conditioning vent. Fingers hitting their mark, he stood on his toes to reach the screws in the corners. They took a few seconds to budge—someone had tightened them since his last adventure—but after

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a few seconds they gave way. He pulled off the wire screen, stepped onto the wall and jumped inside.

rooms before he found the source of the voices. ‘Damn it, Craig. We can’t keep stalling.’

Linus learned early on that his situation was different. ‘Did you have to do all these tests, too?’ he asked one day, panting after a particularly long sprinting trial. The dry air of the sports hall felt like swallowing sandpaper. ‘Nothing quite like this,’ his father said, marking down the time. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small humidifier mask that Linus usually ran in. Capable of maintaining hydration for days, even in direct sunlight, he always said, although he never explained what the sun was. He removed the cap and handed it to his son, adding, ‘At least not since high school.’ Linus inhaled the cool air, feeling instant relief. ‘Is that another room?’ He chuckled absently. ‘No, this wasn’t at the facility. It was on a far-away planet, called Earth.’ Linus clung to this morsel of information like a prize. ‘Earth? What’s it like? Can I go there?’ Father smiled wearily. He had that look he wore whenever Linus asked a difficult question—a look that meant he wasn’t going to get real answers. ‘Maybe one day.’

‘Just a few more months. He’s only a child, for Christ‘s sake!’ ‘I tolerated your whims before, but now it’s getting in the way of our work. Have you forgotten what you signed on for?’ ‘I know, but we’ll get better data if we wait. I’m sure of it.’ ‘The boss wants results now—not in three years. We both know he’s old enough for the preliminaries.’ ‘We don’t know that! We’ve only tested full adults before. We don’t know how his genes will respond, especially so young.’ ‘That’s part of what we’re testing. We can only go forward with the next stage once we know hybrids react the same way as the original specimens.’ ‘And I’m sure that would be very helpful, if Whitman wants to target juveniles.’ ‘Craig—’

Linus reached a junction and slithered around the corner. His shoulders were starting to cramp from being confined so long. Using the door would have been more convenient, but his was always locked from the outside. If it weren’t for his books, he might think that it was normal to be kept so captive, never allowed to wander without supervision. The heroes in his stories were always off having adventures, running away from mundane or oppressive lives. They only invigorated his curiosity for the outside world rather than scaring him off as perhaps the men in white coats believed. But the cold, clanging vent wasn’t quite like the rabbit-hole he’d imagined. He was yet to run into a smoking caterpillar; only the occasional arachnoid.

For years he never thought to leave the room on his own. Father would escort him to meals and lessons, but at the end of the day he was to remain in his tank. It’s safer in there, his father said. Safe from what, Linus asked, but no one answered. One night, he couldn’t sleep. He’d already read all the books, played with all the toys, explored every nook and cranny--except for one. From time to time voices echoed out from a metal square in the wall. Sick of wondering, he pried off the screen and climbed in. He could crawl comfortably then—unlike now, his shoulders and hips didn’t yet scrape the sides. Light had shone in through wired windows of unfamiliar rooms. He peered in a few, seeing long benches with strange devices and books. Coloured liquids in odd glassware lined shelves, labelled with words too small to read from a distance. A large metal cabinet hummed near the back. He passed several other

‘You know the science. The sample group needs to accurately represent the target population. Tell Whitman to wait.’ There was a weary sigh. ‘Fine. But you’ve got to stop treating that thing like your son. It’s bad enough you named it.’ Linus wasn’t sure what they were talking about at the time. His father frequently said he was leaving to do work. What sort of work did he even do? Whenever he asked he only received sad looks. Linus jiggled the screws of the loose opening and pushed it free, holding on to the slatted screen as he scrambled out of the vent. It was the only room that wasn’t locked overnight, or rather they thought it was, but the lock hadn’t functioned in months. He dropped softly onto the desk, grip tightening on the edge of the metal as his foot slipped. He lifted the offending foot, finding paper stuck to the bottom. Peeling it off, he read: WHITMAN ARRIVING. PUSH FORWARD PROJECT ALPHA. Linus tilted his head at the message. Not quite sure what it meant, he held onto it as he jumped down to the carpeted floor. In the corner a filing cabinet had its drawers flung open, its guts spilling out over the side and in hastilyarranged piles. He thought it strange, but he wasn’t here to look at papers. Stepping into the hall, he felt a sense of exhilaration to

make it this far, to be in out here on his own, setting his own pace. His attention was caught by some sort of graphic with words pinned to a notice board; an illustration of a white animal with a pointy snout and long pink tail bemoaning to another of its kind while men in white coats stood in the background, taking notes. It appeared to be a joke but he couldn’t find a punch-line. Next to the comic a large map declared YOU ARE HERE with a red dot. He traced his finger along the line of the corridor, stopping at his destination. Room 603. Nothing in the map indicated what it might hold. Sweat dripped from his forehead as he panted, the running wheel still spinning from his jump-dismount. Father usually scolded him for doing that, saying it was too dangerous. But Father wasn’t looking this time. Instead, he stood at the door, head tilted as someone beyond muttered incomprehensibly. Linus quietened his breathing and tiptoed over, hungry for information, for scandal, for anything that wasn’t another lesson or test. He picked up the water jug by the table and poured himself a glass, as much for an excuse to be close to the door as for thirst. ‘…I know. That’s why the boss wants to see you in room 603 right now.’ ‘I just need to finish up here,’ his father replied. ‘Just a few more minutes.’ ‘Don’t keep him waiting.’ The door shut. ‘What’s in room 603?’ Linus asked before he could stop himself. His father jumped, spinning around. ‘What have I told you about being nosy?’ ‘I was just drinking…’ He shrugged innocently, eyes wide. The white-coated man dropped his shoulders. ‘It doesn’t matter what’s in there. It’s none of your business.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘It just isn’t.’ He picked up the clipboard from the table. ‘You’re finished for today. Get some rest.’ Linus watched as he walked out, looking back with reproach before shutting the door. The lock clicked in place. So many secrets lately. So many questions. He had heard that number whispered before, seen it written down on his father’s papers. Something was special about that room. The metallic placard shone in the dim fluorescent light, the embossed numbers casting small shadows. Room 603. His heart jumped in anticipation. Closing the distance, he slowly reached out for the doorhandle as if it would shatter at his touch. Pushing down, it resisted. Locked. Of course. A room this important wasn’t going to just be

open. His shoulders dropped at the setback. There had to be a way in. A cursory glance around the hall. Nothing useful. He looked up at a faint buzzing. A lone fly hovered about the window above the door. He watched it, wondering if it knew something he didn’t. The fly landed on the window and walked along the glass, before vanishing. Intrigued, Linus latched onto the door and climbed up. The window was blacked out but he could see a small gap, barely a centimetre between the glass and the frame. An incandescent glow shone out—an entrance, or at least a potential one. He slid his fingers through the gap, locking his jaw at the pain of such a tight squeeze. There was no way he could fit. He had hoped his adventures tonight would be untraceable. The punishment for such a breach was severe, but his desire to reach his goal was overwhelming. He removed his hand and unfolded the paper he was still holding. It was better than nothing. Wrapping the document around his knuckles as best he could, he punched through the window. Pain seared up his wrist but the glass shattered, raining down into the room. He released the shredded paper, now dotted with deep blue liquid, and removed the remaining shards from the frame before crawling through. Careful to avoid the shards, he dropped onto the linoleum floor. At first glance it appeared like any of the other laboratories he had passed in the vent, but instead of books, large illuminated tanks dotted the desks. He leant over the nearest one, spotting a small unfamiliar creature wading along the gravel-lined base. A transparent blob with six—no, eight little arms. Tentacles. It shirked back at his presence and scurried into a small cave. On the top corner of the tank was a sticker with a peculiar symbol. Three intersecting circles with a fourth through the middle. All the other tanks had the same sticker. The next had the same organism, but this one was floating at the top, motionless. A tentacle appeared to twitch, but he couldn’t tell if it was voluntary. He continued down the line, finding jars filled with pale organs and tissues floating in liquid. One jar contained a thumb-sized specimen, bloated belly and tails curled inwards, frozen in time. Linus mused on the possible significance of these animals. Surely they couldn’t be the reason this room was forbidden. Perhaps it hadn’t been after all. Had he actually been told never to go there? Why did he think it would be so important? Maybe his father was right in saying those books excited his imagination too much. At the end of the lab was another door. A sign declared the room AUTHORISED PERSONNEL ONLY. Pressing down on the handle, it swung open and his world ceased to turn.

A tall cylindrical tank occupied the centre of the chamber. Just like his sleeping tube. Within it a large blue being floated, rippling limbs like the other creatures, but far more familiar. A smooth head with delicate features upon thin shoulders, arms pouring like ribbons into slender digits. Thick tubes jutted from behind its back and sides, a metal frame screwed in place around the head. Large shimmering eyes looked out, empty and lifeless. He noticed his reflection in the glass, ghost-like over the subject. Their features lined up, her face a mirror image of his. She matched him in all the ways he differed from Father. His hand reached forward, touching the glass. Lights flashed as an alarm went off. The siren was deafening. He put his hands to his ears and stumbled out of the room, knocking a tank on the desk. It lurched forward and slid off, smashing onto the floor, the animal free but writhing on the stained linoleum. Fizzing liquid splashed his foot and Linus recoiled at the sting. The door burst open in a flurry of white as a figure rushed forward. ‘Linus! What are you doing?!’ his father demanded, eyes flitting between him and the opened room behind him. ‘What is it?’ Linus shouted. There was no point in excuses. No way out.

come back. Now, before they find you!’ He pushed the boy forward. A strangled question died in his throat. There was no time. Legs took over and Linus quickly pulled on the coat. He slipped on dark glass shards and gripped the doorframe. He stole one last glance of the room, his father facing the tube, one hand resting on the glass. Linus blinked hard and propelled himself down the hallway. The green exit sign shone a beacon at the end. Another door he was never to touch, but all rules were broken now. He jumped to the release bar, throwing his weight at the door. It burst open and a wave of dry heat poured forth, stinging his face and arms. A blinding, open landscape, wind biting at him as though it were alive. A warm glow in the distance lit up the wall—no it wasn’t a wall. There were no walls. He marvelled at the beauty, before a hand yanked him back. ‘Where do you think you’re going?’ A voice he had heard so many times before, in conversations, echoing through vents, muttered through doors. Linus turned and looked up at the pale face and greying hair of Dr Whitman. ‘The desert air would kill you in minutes.’ Beyond, he could see dark-clad figures holding strange metal rods with forked ends.

‘It’s nothing. Just get out before someone sees—’ ‘I was just—’ ‘No, what is it?’ He looked back at the creature. She hadn’t moved, even with all the sirens. ‘Why is she like that?’ ‘It’s just an experiment. A test. Just another test.’ ‘Like what I do?’ ‘No, not—’ ‘Why does she look like me?’ The scientist paused, sirens filling his hesitation. ‘Because she’s your mother.’ The alarms stopped. Silence overwhelmed them. Linus glanced between the tank and the white coat, pieces falling into place. The tests, the constant surveillance, the strangely coloured medicines. It was all just an experiment. He was an experiment. The realisation knocked the words out of him. Sudden footsteps. His father whipped off his lab coat and forced it into Linus’ hands. ‘You need to go. Now!’ ‘But—’ ‘There’s a fire exit just outside the door. Leave and never

‘Cooper, take subject Alpha back and lock it in. Sedate it if you have to.’ Whitman thrust Linus towards one of the armed guards. The black-clad man nodded and flicked a switch on his tool. The forked end lit up with electricity. Linus tried to back away, reaching into the coat pocket for a pen or scalpel—anything to defend himself with. His hand closed around a small mask attached to a cylinder. The humidifier. Without thinking he elbowed the man behind him, twisted out of his grip, shoved the mask over his face and jumped out the door. He tumbled onto the fine grains—sand! Like in his books! But they’d never mentioned how hot it was. He scrambled to his feet, squinting into the wind as it pelted his bare skin. Blue skies and golden hills stretched out as far as he could see. It was almost too open. Not a solid object in sight. He looked back at the building. Two of the armed guards stood in the doorway, ready to jump. He couldn’t go back. Linus dug his toes into the unstable ground. He closed his eyes against the gale and ran. AUTHOR Simone Corletto, Bachelor Creative Arts (Hons)

- Games -

“Chaos is a Ladder.” - Petyr Baelish, Game of Thrones

L evel

“Game of Thrones” by Flickr user twipzdeeauxilia, CC BY-ND 2.0

A Game of Thrones: The Board Game Betrayal for all ages

Game of Thrones: The Board Game is based on the popular A Song of Ice and Fire book series written by George R. R. Martin, which was later developed into the Game of Thrones TV series. The board game is highly competitive and strategy based, designed for 3-6 players with each player controlling one of the noble houses from the series. The playable houses in the second edition of the game are Baratheon, Greyjoy, Lannister, Martell, Stark and Tyrell (with Arryn included in an expansion), and the goal is to negotiate and battle the other houses, taking over enough land to control all of the Westeros continent. Diplomacy is a major part of this game, with alliances being formed before the game even begins. However, with the formation of alliances comes chaos, backstabbing and betrayal, so you quickly learn to trust no one. As such, it is very much reminiscent of the series it was based on. Due to the technical nature of the gameplay, the rules of the game are extensive and therefore take a long time to process and explain. The rulebook of 32 pages in length reflects this, which can be intimidating for new players who are trying to understand the game for the first time. In-depth reading is not required for casual players however, as the rules can be picked up during gameplay. Each player has an army of footmen, knights, siege engines and ships, along with a set of order tokens that give actions to these pieces. There are house cards representing influential characters that can resolve battles, and power tokens that can be used as a form of currency along with fighting off wildling invasions.

There are three main phases to a single round: the Westeros phase where everyday events occur that can change players’ positions in the game, the Planning phase where players secretly place order tokens face down to control the movement of their troops, and the Action phase where these orders are carried out and battle can begin. Throughout the game, many other events inevitably arise with potentially disastrous consequences for all players involved. For example, a wildling attack will require all houses to push aside their bitterness and work together to fight off the invasion. The marshalling of troops and adjusting of supply may occur, which both allow larger armies to be formed, and places may be switched on the influence tracks that determine who wins in a tie along with who can place which order tokens. The game is fun to play but difficult to learn how to play, and it definitely has the potential to turn friends into enemies (at least temporarily). The game only ends when either ten rounds have been played, or one player controls seven castles, so it is a tough fight to the finish. I would recommend this game to anyone who likes diplomatic strategy games, is a big fan of Game of Thrones, or really just likes to cause chaos amongst their friends.

AUTHOR Kelly Guthberlet, 20, Science/Education “The world will end in fire.”

- Anime -

Tokyo Ghoul T

okyo Ghoul was first released in 2014 and the first season is available in both English sub and dub online. Based off Sui Ishida’s popular manga of the same name and produced by Studio Pierrot, this Japanese anime has found increasing popularity around the world. Tokyo Ghoul is set in an alternate Japan where ghouls haunt the city streets, killing and eating humans in order to survive. It is a dark fantasy horror which will leave you hooked. Natsuki Hanae voices the main character Ken Kaneki, who is a studious university student with a crush on the beautiful and equally studious Rize Kamishiro (voiced by Kana Hanazawa). Getting the girl is as easy as asking her to a bookshop, but the tables turn quickly when she reveals herself as a ghoul and attempts to eat his flesh. Having sustained life-threatening injuries, his world is thrown into chaos by the quick thinking of a surgeon who saves him by using Rize’s organs. An unprecedented change takes place and Kaneki’s body adapts as a hybrid. Half human. Half ghoul. Adjusting to life as a half-ghoul is difficult. Kaneki’s human side insists that he cannot eat flesh but he can’t get nourishment from human food either. It becomes evident that the only thing from his human days that he can still enjoy is coffee—it is therefore unsurprising when he finds a job at Anteiku, a coffee shop and meeting place for ghouls. There, he learns more about ghouls and their society as well as meeting Touka (voiced by Sora Amamyia) and Yoshimura (Takayuki Sugou) who become his guides to survival as a ghoul in the 20th ward. As a newborn ghoul, he has many dangers to overcome. With Rize’s organs inside him, Kaneki’s scent now resembles that of one of the most infamous ghouls in the city. Other ghouls, recognising his scent as Rize’s are

understandably curious and curious ghouls are often the most violent. He must also contend with the Doves of the CCG, investigators and protectors of the human realm. His hybrid state is beyond comprehension to both groups, making him all the more dangerous and placing him in a vulnerable position in both ghoul and human societies. Can he maintain his humanity despite Rize’s haunting influence? Unfortunately the first season ends in the middle of rising action; however the second season picks up where the first left off. This anime would be suited to lovers of dark fantasy and horror genres as there’s plenty of blood and gore! At only twelve twenty-minute episodes per season, it is (for me at least) the perfect length. While the first episode is a bit slow, the series quickly picks up as Kaneki encounters difficulties adjusting to ghoul life. It is exciting to watch the transition of Kaneki the human (a highly moral person) into Kaneki the ghoul (who is questionably moral). I highly recommend Tokyo Ghoul for its complex and chaotic plot and give it four stars out of five. The anime has just finished its second season (Tokyo Ghoul: √A) and is set for a third this winter. 4/5 AUTHOR Kayla Gaskell, 19, Bachelor of Creative Arts (Creative Writing) “The world as we know it will end once humankind succeeds in making the planet uninhabitable. This could be through a contagion, or a nuclear war, or even some kind of other-worldly threat (like aliens or an asteroid). No matter how it happens, I think we will be the cause.”

Complete the crossword and send a picture of your answers to stephanie.walker@flinders.edu.au and WIN one of ten free double passes to Palace Nova!

ACROSS

DOWN

3. You might be able to travel in it, but you can’t outrun time (5,4) 7. The leader of the Hong Kong Cavaliers is here to save the day (8,6) 8. Keira Knightley plays this model-turned-bounty hunter (6) 10. A mysterious swordsman and a young boy search for “Lost Vegas” (3,6,7) 11. This circus-themed slasher film is oddly reminiscent of a reallife serial killer case (10). 12. Keanu Reeves stars in this clean-energy conspiracy flick (5,8) 13. Romantic story of French landscape designers. (1,6,5) 17. Inventor of the complex machine that makes Doc Brown’s breakfast. (4,8) 19. This tax evader plays Lorenz a hacker/bank robber in 2005 heist flick (6,6) 20. Jeff Goldblum’s Student Councillor namesake in an 80s horror comedy (4,8) 21. This scientist suffers the consequences of a teleportation experiment gone awry (4,7) 22. The … States of America asks: What if the south won the US Civil War? (11) 23. Catch the train, don’t catch the train. Either way Gwyneth is still weird. (7,5)

1. Tarantino’s World War II revisionist black comedy (11,8) 2. Crude spoof of a monster-hunting FDR (8,6) 4. This Darko-directed ensemble comedy was an apocalyptic flop (9,5) 5. Director of “The most brutal movie ever made” (5,7) 6. Director of a twisty Japanese kidnap thriller (5,6) 9. This non-linear film tells the story of a gangster’s stolen briefcase (4,7) 12. Director of film about a couple’s attempt to help a comatose sex worker (6,7) 14. Dino-disaster is just a blown fuse away (8,4) 15. An efficiency expert embraces uncertainty (5,6) 16. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a foul-mouthed squatter (6) 17. Small-town teenagers defend their town from the Russians (or North Koreans?) (3,4) 18. Sure to destroy a nice vacation on the slopes. (9)

Crossword clues by Shaun Hobby

Foodie photo by Bethany Lawrence

Food Review: The Greek Olive The Greek Olive is a part of a small cluster of restaurants that sit almost adjacently to Flinders Medical Centre at Rupert Avenue. Literally a cluster, this tiny strip caters to a range of different tastes: Thai, Japanese, Mexican, and Greek. It’s usually one of the main ports of call for the Flinders Med staff, and its rare that you don’t see at least a dozen nurses off duty heading into one of the places. For Flinders University students, its around a ten minute walk, or a short five minute trip on the free Loop bus. Well worth it, I promise. I don’t like to pick favourites out of Rupert Avenue, but The Greek Olive is definitely something special. Admittedly, before I was a student, this restaurant would usually be ignored when my family would graze over menu’s online, as we’d not heard much about it- and our family had never been big on Greek food. It’s a small place that few people seem to know about, and sits right in the middle of the strip so it could easily be walked past. However, now Greek Olive is a family favourite for us- for one reason. “The Greek yiros in pita.” Pretty much just say that line to one of the friendly staff, and you’re guaranteed to be throwing your tastebuds one hell of a party. The options for yiros come in chicken or lamb (I prefer lamb, and have used lamb for this review) and you’ll notice on the menu the option for ‘pita’ or ‘plate.’ This basically just means if you want it plated, you assemble the yiros yourself. Personally, picking pita is always the best way to go. These guys wrap these babies up like magicians- don’t even try to attempt it yourself. You won’t be as good as these guys. You’ve also got the option for ‘Aussie’ or ‘Greek’. The only addition is the chips in the Greek yiros, and it pays the same- so why the heck wouldn’t you pick it? The meat in a yiros is one of the most important aspects, according to every drunkard at 3AM. It often dominates the delicacy so much that the pita literally struggles to hug it, and will tear apart at the seams if not encased with foil. It is usually a case of quantity over quality, as usually when you want a yiros,

you’re pissed as a newt and food – no matter how bad, needs to be violently stuffed in your face. With The Greek Olive yiros, the meat is deliciously smoky, sometimes a little chewy, and not packed to the brim. The lettuce, tomato and onion provides a good shield from the strong flavour of the meat, as too much with this one would be an issue. The winning detail however is the addition to crispy golden fries being wrapped in the pita as well, rather than being served on the side. The juices from the meat and the tzatziki have long soaked into them by the time you’ve unwrapped it and taken the first bite, and the result is usually a deliciously fluffy mouthful, like a heavenly explosion of potato and flavour. The first few times I took friends to Greek Olive, I found there’s a general rule that once yiros eating starts, conversation stops until you’ve managed to wrangle the first few bites. The thing is so big and so delicious, that wolfing it down is pretty much all you can do until you’ve reached a manageable size to reunite in conversation. This baby will fill you up for hours. Don’t even worry about being delicate with this thing either, you will probably get it on you somewhere if you’re a messy eater. I recommend this yiros (get it in pita, or regret it forever) basically to anyone who has mainly tried the ‘stuff as much meat as you can in there’ type yiros and wants to try something a little more refined, and to all the hungry as hell students on campus who may be seeking something a little different for lunch. Sneaky tip: head in on a Wednesday, as the yiros are usually a couple of bucks off!

AUTHOR Bethany Lawrence, 21, Bachelor of Arts (Creative Writing) Bethany predicts the world ending will be a product of our own stupidity. Maybe we decide to give AIs (artifical intelligence) the ability to recognise they are lower class or something. Robot wars sounds a pretty okay way to go.

vox

Revi

band: The View

TV: Life on mars

By Tamsin Alexander

By Lucas Abraham

If you’re into indie rock music and accents then I recommend giving The View a listen. The View are a Scottish indie rock band with some wicked rhythms and catchy lyrics, paired with a couple of fitting, sometimes out of the ordinary, music videos. While “Same Jeans” is undeniably one of their most popular songs, and with good reason due to its intsa foot tapping sounds, “Grace” takes the cake for me. The song and video clip tell the story of ‘a sober boy and a lonely girl’ and when communication should really just stop. The way the accent sounds on words like: ‘bringing’, ‘crazy’, ‘agreement’, and ‘butchers’ will have you falling in love quicker than you can say ‘no kilts and bagpipes’. And that lead singer’s pretty easy on the eyes too, if I do say so myself.

At the moment I’m really into the BBC television series, Life On Mars. It’s got John Simm from Doctor Who in it, who plays a detective named Sam Tyler. Tyler gets hit by a car and knocked into a parallel world based on Manchester in the early 70s. It’s a mystery/drama that includes some comic relief, satirising the blatant sexism and racism from that time. The Ford Cortina used in the series is pretty rad – it can’t have been easy or cheap to get a car from that era so well maintained. The soundtrack is canon for the era with a bit of David Bowie, Blue Öyster Cult, The Rolling Stones, T. Rex and Tom Waits. Despite depicting the occasionally appalling nature of the 70s (with limited technology and crude behaviour), I still found the show somehow left me feeling nostalgic and longing for simpler times.

Rating: 5/5 sexy Scottish lads

Rating 5/5

iews Book: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy By Hannah Beadle If you want to find ‘weirder things in your breakfast cereal’ and find out the meaning of life, look no further than The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I know you have all seen the 2005 film with Martin Freeman and Zooey Deschanel but I promise you it gets better. Before this catastrophe there was (yes another movie, I mean before that) there was a book, yes a book. With more sarcasm, cynicism and puns than you can wrap your head around. Douglas Adams’ book follows the adventure of Arthur Dent through space and time, and is well worth the read on any Sunday afternoon that you just can’t cope with. Rating: 4/5

Game: Adventure Time: The Secret of the Nameless Kingdom by Dylan Sparkes I recently played a game based on the animated series Adventure Time. It’s a top down adventure RPG that is in a similar vein to Zelda. You play as Finn in a quest to rescue three princesses from across the land, battling a variety of quirky monster dudes. From the wholesome fun of catching a fart in a bag to spanking your way through half a dozen bouncing, party hat-wearing apes, this game is weird and wonderful. There are a few glitches in-game, an unhelpful map, minimal direction in terms of sub-quests and no significant death penalties (which removes any element of risk). Since there’s no log marking your accomplishments or quests, it can be easy to lose track of your progress à la Pokemon style, which is infuriating given the copy-paste landscape. Puzzle game enthusiasts, completionists with a hunger for collectables, and fans of the Adventure Time series will wish to “glob” they’d bought it sooner. Rating 3.5/5

- Music -

ALBUM REVIEW: DEATH GRIPS // JENNY DEATH H ere’s a good example of a band for the chaos issue. Californian experimental noise and industrial hip-hop trio Death Grips, fronted by Stefan ‘MC Ride’ Burnett, with Zach Hill and Andy ‘Flatlander’ Morin handling production. Their repertoire includes the critically acclaimed record The Money Store and the highly controversial No Love Deep Web. Their style is paranoid, cacophonous, and something you definitely wouldn’t bring home to show your mother. Fans of the band can rejoice because finally, the question “Jenny Death When” has been answered, but the bigger question is, will this album live up to the hype?

Jenny Death is the second half of the double LP The Powers That B claimed to be the band’s last release. The first disc dropped last year, titled Niggas on the Moon. Featuring sliced samples from Björk, and noisier production than their previous release, this album didn’t grow on me like their others. However, after the first single dropped and a separate instrumental album was released, I was keen for what Ride and friends had in store. The first thing I take to scrutinise from this album is the instrumentation. Jenny Death remains intense from start to finish. On most tracks, such as “Centuries of Damn” and “Turned Off”, Hill’s frenzied drumming and the sounds of distorted, grunge-focused guitars, vocoders and synthesizers take priority over any sampling and programming. It’s as if Death Grips have come full circle, stepping away from the overly electronic production of their last LPs and going back to basics. The second track and first single, “Inanimate Sensation”, kicks off with multi-layered, squealing vocal synthesizers which gain traction (and multiple octaves) before

launching into overdrive, shortly followed by a thumping drum beat and four shouted verses from Ride. This is without a doubt one of the stranger tracks to come from the band in recent years, as the song constantly changes form and flow, shifting Ride’s pitch and volume with every verse. The ninth track, “On GP”, is the epitome of the album, as it features a continuous, prog-rock guitar riff, along with live drums. It sonically reminded me of their earlier work on their first mixtape, Exmilitary. However, the lyrics of the song are some of the most depressing that I’ve heard, with Ride tackling issues of suicide and life after the band The lyrics are a contrast to the usual drug-addicted/violent/primal character Ride makes himself out to be. “On GP” serves as the perfect swan song for the band. In relation to The Powers That B, this album sounds nothing like the first disc, and the tracks work better individually rather than as a whole. It starts loud and finishes louder, especially with the intro and finale tracks. As is with Death Grips, this is another polarising album. Some of you will absolutely hate what you hear. Others will question if it is actually music. Fans, however, will enjoy it. Stay noided, friends. 4/5

Stream Jenny Death from Death Grips Youtube page: www.youtube.com/user/deathgrippin

AUTHOR Aden Beaver, 18, Creative Arts (Digital Media) “The world will end when Kanye West starts making clean music”

Which Life Crisis are you currently experiencing?

How old do you THINK you are?

On the weekend would you, rather sleep in or exercise?

Stay in bed all day

Go for a run

What is your most hated chore? It is midday, what are you currently doing?

Do you have work to do? It’s not due yet

Yes, it was due last week

Making the bed

Should you be at an appointment right now?

Umm...yes

...No

Laundry

Vacuuming

Avoiding work

Lunch break

Midday movie

Would you rather .... Are you of retiring age yet?

Have you failed a topic at Uni yet? Yeah... a couple...

Uni drop out You can’t handle the constant freedom and endless alcohol sessions, so you are heading straight for unemployment.

Give up

Run away Unfortunately not

Yes

Not quite

Move BAck in with the 'rents You couldn’t ‘do’ being an adult, with the responsibility and the bills, so you are home with the overbearing parents once again.

Get a divorce and buy a corvette After suffering and doing what is right for so long, you’re finally giving into your wildest dreams.

Buy an RV You are over the daily drawls of life and so you have chosen to spend all your children’s inheritance on a round Australia trip.