Empire Times 42.9 by FUSA Association

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- Editorial -

Hello lovely people! Welcome to the Free for All issue!! Can I just say the apocalypse is here! The weather has turned and I have now experienced my first day over 25 degrees in nearly 18 months, and let me tell you, it nearly killed me! My legs have become so pale that when I wore shorts recently I was blinded by the hard-core glare coming from them. It was awful! That being said, the more important issue here is the fact we have a new prime minister! Malcolm Turnbull is officially Australia’s 29th PM and I think it needs to be said that he will be downsizing to live in the Lodge/ Kirribilli House and he is also probably the most handsome. Us Eds also decided to vox pop each other.. Why? Just for fun!

Free for all means anything goes so this is my chance to talk about something that’s been on my mind lately. Being as plugged in to our phones and computers as we are, it comes as no surprise that we wonder whether we are becoming void of social intimacy. ‘Scrolling’ has become second nature to us and we have become addicted to gobbling up newer, more exciting information with every swipe. Sure, there are benefits like instant news and communication but I take in so much unnecessary knowledge it’s crazy: a friend hit the gym for an hour, another person I don’t even speak to anymore got an adult colouring book, and someone lost their phone in town. I can’t help but feel that when we are checking in with social media so often, we are missing out on our own fulfilling life experiences as we ‘Like’ the photos and moments of other’s.

If you could be any type of cake, what would it be? The richest, darkest chocolate mud cake

What’s your favourite succulent? I had to do research for this. ‘Sedum morganianum’ or ‘donkey tail’ is it’s other name. I don’t see it.

What’s your favourite succulent? I would have to say a Medicine Plant (like aloe vera) because I have delicate white skin and the sun loves to burn me.

Would you rather fight a hundred ducksized horses or one horse-sized duck? A horse-sized duck because if I fought it into submission then I could ride it.

Which world leader would you rather sleep with and why? I guess I can now say Malcolm Turnbull ;)

Which world leader would you rather sleep with and why? I suspect Barack is good in bed.

Moltres, Articuno or Zapdos? Umm what? Default answer is Annabel Crabb because let’s face it, she can do no wrong.

What’s your best pun? I guess you could say ET is the best mag-I-seen.

Hey there folks! Here we are with issue 9, the penultimate magazine for the year. I can hardly believe it’s November already. Semester 2 is almost over, and with it, the 2015 academic year. Some of you may be graduating. Others will be moving up through your undergrad, or perhaps into post-grad courses. Personally, I’ll be continuing my Honours through to 2016 (working for ET tends to extend your degree, haha), but I’m having such a blast being here I really don’t mind sticking around Flinders a while longer. Especially with the new building set to be finished next year. Who else is pumped for this roof-top bar (which may or may not be happening. I think I accidentally started that rumour and now I can’t tell if it’s legit or not)? If you could be any type of cake, what would it be? A French vanilla cheesecake. What’s your favourite succulent? The kind that look like a cactus-version of a rose. Which world leader would you rather sleep with and why? Joseph Stalin, in an alternate universe where he doesn’t become a murderous dictator (seriously google ‘Young Stalin’ and see how hot he was). Moltres, Articuno or Zapdos? Atricuno. Cos an ice bird would be pretty useful come summer (and if you didn’t understand this question, we can’t be friends :( ).

Jess Simone

Laura

TOP PICKS FOR THIS ISSUE

p. 10 p. 22 p. 26 p. 28

p. 12 p. 16 p. 18 p. 37

p. 13 p. 16 p. 18 p. 22

Texas: The Lone Star State Comic by Elaine Cheng Best Teacher Little Ol’ Adelaide

Openly Sexual Feminism It’s All In Your Mind Poetry

Technologica Feminism It’s All In Your Mind Comic by Elaine Cheng

OH HELLO there.

FREE FOR ALL ISSUE

EDITORS Jess Nicole Laura Telford Simone Corletto

SUB-EDITORS Jess Miller Tamsin Alexander Kayla Gaskell Liam McNally Anupol Bordoloi Riana Kinlough Justina Ashman

COLUMNISTS Emma Cresdee Jonno Revanche Emma Sachsse Kaisha Wyld Eleanor Danenberg Karen Smart Kelly Guthberlet Kevin Clark Aden Beaver Bethany Lawrence

ILLUSTRATORS Sheydin Dew Aden Beaver Amber Hall Benjamin Hall Elaine Cheng

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Issue 9 Vol 42 September 2015 empire.times@flinders.edu.au www.empiretimes.com.au Advertising: stephanie.walker@flinders.edu.au Empire Times is the student publication of Flinders University. All work within remains the property of the producers and may not be reproduced without their consent. Empire Times reserves the right to republish in any format. Empire Times would like to acknowledge the Kaurna people who are the traditional custodians of the land Flinders University is situated on. We would also like to pay our respects to the elders past and present of the Kaurna nation and extend that respect to other Aboriginal peoples. ‘The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the editors, Flinders University, or Flinders University Student Association. Reasonable care is taken to ensure that Empire Times articles and other information are upto-date and as accurate as possible, as of the time of publication, but no responsibility can be taken by Empire Times Magazine for any errors or omissions contained herein.’

FRONT COVER Amber Hall

BACK COVER Matthew Bird

Matthew Bird

FUCK YEAHS

CONTRIBUTORS

• • • • •

James Vigus Meaghan King Lidya Singa Liam McNally Tamsin Alexander Elle Void Luke Corish Cameron Lowe Brodie May Steph Walker Sarah Barrett Jasmine Koop Emma Hobbs Laura Telford Lee Salvemini Kayla Gaskell

New PM! More women in cabinet! Halloween! ET End of Year Party next month! Semester is almost over. Holidays are just around the corner :)

FUCK NOS •

Exams!! Study hard!

WITH THANKS TO FUSA’s Steph Walker, for being you. FUSA’s Stacy and Fay for their tireless work helping us distribute the mag. Anthea and Rach for all their efforts organising our upcoming party and Elaine for her wonderful, artistic talents.

Index INTRO

FEATURES

CREATIVE 22 POLITICAL COMIC Malcolm Turnbull New PM

EDITORIAL Words from the Editors

TEXAS The Lone Star State

PREZ DISPENSER A message from the President

IT’S ALL IN YOUR MIND A discussion of Mental Illness

RITES OF GIRLHOOD A personal exploration of rites of passage for trans-girls

INTRODUCING OUT NEWEST PM! #libspill #getkeen

FUN STUFF

VOX POP Voice of the people

41 CROSSWORD Win movie tickets!

BEST TEACHER Melanie Oppenheimer

48 QUIZ Which video game do you belong in?

COLUMNS 7 8

EQUALITY Erasing Lesbian Attraction POLITIK The West and the Ukraine; Russian Conflict

OPENLY SEXUAL Two-Timing, Deceitful, Double-Crossing Cheaters

TECHNOLOGICA Target Acquired

BORING LITTLE OL’ ADELAIDE... Not anymore...

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT Gender Neutrality

SEPTEMBER SPECTACLES These are a few of my favourite things.

FEMINISM I am done.

BEING A GLOBAL CITIZEN

GET SMART Going Down with the Ship

ANIME REVIEW Durarara!!x2 Sho

FILM REVIEW/INTERVIEW The Visit

42 LEVEL UP Viridi 44

MUSIC REVIEW Nilhs Frahm-Solos

FOOD REVIEW Nordburger

FICTION The Dodecahedron

37 POETRY FICTION Did you miss me?

which video game do you belong in? 48

vox

pop

WHAT’S GOING ON NOVEMBER

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

FRIDAY

Melbourne Cup Day

On this day King Tut’s tomb discovered in 1922

Guy Fawkes Night

EXAMS START

THURSDAY

Speakeasy @ the Wheatsheaf 7 - 10pm

Transgender Day of Remembrance

On this day Calvin and Hobbs debuted in 1985

EXAMS END

In 1642 ,Tasmania was discovered by Dutch explorer Abel Tasman.

26 Speakeasy at the Onkaparinga Writers Festival 6 - 9pm

30 NEW ET EDITORS START TOMORROW!!!!!!!

Fill this in with all your upcoming events and deadlines! If you would like your Flinders University event to appear in an ET calendar, please contact us at empire. times@flinders.edu.au

Prez Dispenser

The Student Council President (“Prez”) is the official spokesperson of students and the Student Council. They make representations on behalf of students to the university, media, government, and external organisations.

James Vigus Getting a job as a young person in Adelaide today is bloody hard. Unemployment is high and increasing, and youth unemployment much worse. When jobs are found they are frequently under-paid, tenuous, and inconvenient for students. For some international students the reality is even worse again, with employers paying a cash pittance in exchange for silence on breeching visa conditions. The student employment market is a free-for-all for many employers, and we’re fed up with it. We are all familiar with students taking those dodgy cash-inhand-jobs, minus our lawful entitlements, as we desperately try to earn whilst we learn. To add insult to this injury, many of us have the added responsibility of being compelled to take unpaid student ‘placements’, ‘practicums’ or ‘internships’ which can add up to many hundreds of unpaid labour hours. It’s increasingly obvious that many industries actually rely on this unpaid work to maintain their bottom lines or to bolster profits. As a Social Work student myself, I thought it was bad enough in the social work area (where students must do hundreds of hours of free work for the sector), however recent media reports suggest law firms have taken this rip off a step further. Some firms have started a practice of students actually having to pay for post-graduation intern places, with the winner being the highest bidder. What the hell is going on? This free-for-all, flagrant exploitation should stop immediately. I salute young Melbourne retail worker and Monash University student Kahlani Pyrah and her fellow workers at the burger franchise Grill’d who recently decided to take a stand against the free-for-all attitude of their board members and shareholders. At Grill’d the company presided over workers with low pay, zero overtime pay and an overzealous work regime of unfair hard work. It all started when one of Kahlani’s workmate’s was fired for drinking a Gatorade. The young Grill’d workers, all of whom are students, investigated their enterprise agreement (workplace ‘contract’) and found that not only did the sacking constitute an unfair dismissal, but they were all being paid well below the minimum wage. Angered by their situation Kahlani organized a meeting of her

co-workers, where they soon organised some union resistance, but as a consequence of their collective organising for basic wages and conditions, Kahlani was singled-out and sacked. Instead of being intimidated, the young workers rallied around Kahlani and with the support of their union, United Voice, launched legal action and a public campaign to shame Grill’d. The campaign by the young workers at Grill’d created a media storm because what they were standing up against was happening to many in the hospitality industry. Grill’d have now been forced to sign a new agreement with improved wages and conditions. In the words of Kahlani, she hopes their win will ‘lead to more young workers being empowered to stand up for their rights as well.’ The free-for-all exploitation also extends to our fellow students who have come from overseas on study visas. Faced with outrageous upfront fees and highly inflated accommodation costs, many international students are forced to look for available work whilst studying in Australia. Add visa restrictions to that mix, and you have the perfect situation for another employer free-for-all. Low-paying dangerous work, with late nights, and some employers refusing to pay wages at all, are more common than we would like to think. Recently a joint ABC Four Corners and Fairfax media investigation concluded that Australia’s 7-Eleven franchise network made its profits purely by exploiting international students and, in many cases, paying them half the minimum wage. Journalists quoted a 7-Eleven insider who insisted that the convenience store empire was built on conditions not terribly different to slavery. Student Associations should support all students’ efforts to improve wages and conditions, and break the restrictive prescriptions of study visas, which only allow employers an opportunity to bribe, blackmail or intimidate international student workers. The Grill’d workers’ efforts to stand up for themselves are an arrow pointing to a more hopeful direction.

- James Vigus, Student Council President

INTERVIEW WITH COUNCIL: ENVIRONMENT OFFICER

The Environment Officer is responsible for the promotion and implementation of Council environment campaigns, working along-side students in environment projects, and liaising with Flinders University, State and National environment groups.

Brodie May Why did you run for Student Council? There are a few reasons, the main being what has happened to student unions over the last decade. The Liberals’ implementation of VSU (Voluntary Student Unionism), which ended compulsory union membership, has been devastating for FUSA and the Student Council’s efforts to provide services to students. Labor further entrenched the university’s control over the unions via the SSAF (Student Services and Amenities Fee), which gives university administrations direct control over the vast majority of funding which student unions have access to. What is needed to combat these measures is for people to fight doggedly for more funding and student control over life on campus. Sadly, the majority of student associations/unions are run almost completely by members of the Labor party. But there are broader things at stake. Students are historically the first to take action on all sorts of social issues. I want to be there to promote current issues and turn up the pressure if something big breaks out. What kind of issues does the Environment Officer handle? It varies a lot because there isn’t a portfolio like the student president is assigned to, so what I work on depends more on given current issues. Broadly, there are campus-specific issues, such as if the university held investments in fossil fuel companies, and then national issues, like the campaign around dredging of the Great Barrier Reef. So this might mean circulating petitions or organising events, such as protests. What are some specific issues you have tackled this year? The biggest issue this year has been Bjørn Lomborg.

It was leaked that the university has been seeking a partnership (but maybe not a partnership) to host Lomborg (but maybe not Lomborg) and some variant of his consensus centre (but maybe not a consensus centre) to do research (but maybe not research) at Flinders. There has been widespread opposition to bringing in someone who denies anthropological climate change to the university, but this hasn’t stopped the administration from exploring the idea. So we’ve held a protest and we’re continuing to circulate the nice big red ‘Stop Lomborg’ stickers you might’ve seen around campus. What are some of the issues you’d really like to approach next? I’d like to do a bit more around coal and uranium mining, particularly in reference to Indigenous land rights. Australia has a history of genocide, but the community closures in WA and SA, as well as land seizure for mining sites, represent renewed attacks on Aboriginal people and continued environmental destruction. We’ll likely be holding a forum on the topic later in the year, so stay tuned. How can people help out? Keep an eye out. If you hear about anything happening on campus (or off campus, for that matter) then come and have a chat to me, or shoot me an email. Get involved! FUSA is always running all kinds of events. Best way for students to contact you? My email is environment.officer@flinders.edu.au, but you can always come into the FUSA office, as there are generally a couple of student council members in there.

- Equality -

‘

It’s just a girl crush’; Erasing Lesbian Attraction Opinions by Jonno Revanche

As time passes, and as I begin to notice the gaps between ‘fully realised’/out queer people and more tentative explorers of their sexuality, I begin to realise how many poisonous attitudes are perpetuated by people from all walks of life. The policing is so common that, very often, individuals are denied the right to selfnarrate their experiences. Indeed, this may happen more often to women, who are conditioned to react with other women a certain way as a form of camaraderie, when in fact there may be romantic or sexual feelings beneath those interactions. Nowhere have I seen this happen more than on the internet; where a plethora of young girls and women have expressed interest in Ruby Rose. ‘I would turn lesbian for Ruby Rose!’ is a recurring motif on all forms of social media. Young girls will share and reblog images of the non-binary, Australian actor with great enthusiasm, and she has amassed somewhat of a cult following. While the aforementioned phrase might not be the best way to word things, I feel it’s important to emphasise free attraction and encourage women to feel open about exploring their sexuality. By shooting them down, we encourage silence and sexual repression. It’s not conducive to a welcoming or accepting environment. For me, I found that I had to find different ways to express my attraction to the ‘same sex’ outside of a necessarily ‘queer’ context before I reached a point where I could do it honestly and directly.

“

There’s no script for how women are ‘supposed’ to be attracted to other women apart from, y’know, not at all.

“

It makes me so sad how many LGBTQAI people, myself included, wrote off their attraction to the same sex as ‘admiration’ or ‘purely aesthetical’ before they came to terms with the fact that they weren’t straight, because they didn’t experience attraction to people of their gender the exact same way they experience/d attraction to the opposite sex.

Obviously society is incredibly invested in telling people that there’s only one way to feel attraction. Often this means that it absolutely must be in the same way they feel attraction to men (even if they might not feel any attraction to men at all outside of societally-mandated compulsory heterosexuality). If their attraction to women feels even a little bit different then obviously it’s not ‘real’ and they’re really just straight. But that’s horseshit. There are a billion reasons why experiencing attraction to women and experiencing attraction to men would differ for women, like the fact that our virulently homophobic and misogynist society grooms young people into heterosexuality before they’ve even learned to walk or talk, while they’re explicitly dissuaded from any same-sex attraction. Homosexuality is still often regarded as strange or perverted in many parts of society—you need only look to the amount of discrimination LGBTQAI people receive on a day to day basis, the disproportionate amount of abuse we face, and the laws that still exist discriminating against us for simply being who we are. There’s an entire script for how women are supposed to feel about men before

they can even start forming an identity: this is what you’re supposed to want (a nice nuclear family), this is what you’re supposed to fantasise about (countless heterosexual narratives in media and the dominant rhetoric around sex), and this is what you’re supposed to desire. It’s enforced by peers, the media, the education system, more broadly, by society. This kind of value system is done very purposefully to infantilise and control certain people so they don’t stray from societal norms. There’s no script for how women are ‘supposed’ to be attracted to other women apart from, y’know, not at all. The media enjoys taking an explicit angle on lesbianism, for example, by refuting same sex attraction and treating lesbian couples as ‘gal pals’ because the idea of same sex couples is still considered unacceptable or strange. The treatment of Kristen Stewart by certain media outlets in this way is a good example, where countless stories circulated, speculating her sexuality (after all, how can she be a lesbian after dating Robert Pattinson?), and denying that her relationship with Alicia Cargile is legitimate. Glossing over these relationships for what they are is a form of erasure, something which has been happening, especially to lesbian couples, throughout western history. If you’re one of those people who feels like they’re not ‘allowed’ to identify as gay/bi because your attraction to women doesn’t match what you’ve had shoved down your throat your whole life by compulsory heterosexuality: your feelings are valid, your attraction to women is valid, you are welcome among LGBTQAI scenes, and you don’t need to doubt yourself. AUTHOR Jonno Revanche, 23, Graduate Diploma of Counselling Jonno’s life needs more non-black clothing.

Politik

The West and the Ukraine: Russian Conflict

Relations between Russia and the Ukraine have been tense for at least three years, and have since turned into military conflicts with the acquisition of Crimea by Russia. Major issues have acted as catalysts towards the actions of Russia, ever since the disbandment of the Soviet Union and the subsequent independence of the Ukraine. In the last decade or so, its economic power and influence has increased exponentially, mainly due to energy exports, and has resulted in the increased confidence and assertiveness of Russia. Vladimir Putin’s early exit of the world leaders G20 meeting held in Brisbane last November illustrated the broken relations between Russia and The West, as well as Putin’s solid stance and unwillingness to back down even after several calls to exit the Ukraine. When Russia invaded Georgia in 2008, it was assumed by western countries that this was to prevent Georgia joining the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation (NATO). Russia has often expressed strong opposition to the expansion of NATO, particularly in regards to the Ukraine and Georgia. This is an influencing factor to the current reluctance by NATO countries to accept Ukraine as a part of the alliance should it formally place an interest, as well as the fact that if the Ukraine was accepted, NATO countries would be forced to defend Ukraine in the face of Russian attack. The West created NATO in 1949, as an alliance to attempt to guarantee a level of security, so if one of the countries were attacked, the others would be obliged to come to their defence. This was to provide security in numbers. However, expanding this agreement further, whilst theoretically aggregating more numbers in defence of a given country, it creates more opportunities for the allegiance to be called into effect. Russia, on several occasions have illustrated their discontent with the alliance, particularly with the expansion of the alliance into postSoviet spheres. However, in previous NATO expansions, Russia’s status in the international system was much weaker. At present, Russia clearly objects to such actions and appears to be willing to assert their opposition through military force. Therefore NATO involvement in the present conflicts within Ukraine should be treated sensitively. It is appropriate to respond to, and monitor the situation in regards to troop movement and actions. But, it would be unwise to provoke Russia, particularly by invitation or acceptance of an application for NATO allegiance with any other countries, especially Ukraine or Georgia. Russia’s branch of their Navy, the Black Sea fleet, was granted port facilities under a 1997 Partition Treaty between Russia and Ukraine; although, the accord

expires in 2017. This has been cited as a contributing factor to the conflict as the Ukraine government had expressed objection to Russian desires to extend the contract beyond this time, because of fears that a similar invasion like that of Georgia in 2008 could occur. Crimea has now become Russian territory, which severely impacts Ukraine’s access to viable ports, particularly Sevastopol and creates leverages for the Russian government against Ukraine. Tensions in the region escalated again in late 2013 when Ukraine’s President Yanukovych abandoned a closer relationship with the European Union for closer ties to Russia and accepted a deal with Russia to buy 15 billion dollars worth of debt and cut prices of gas supplies. Large scale protests on the Ukrainian side occurred in the country from December through to February 2014 where Yanukovych was removed by parliament and Oleksandr Turchynov was announced as interim leader. Pro-Russian rebels mobilised throughout Ukraine particularly concentrated in the south-eastern region, and the Russian government approved the use of force to protect Russian interests in Ukraine. Crimea was absorbed into Russian territory after a succession referendum in Crimea, which was labeled by the West including America, Western Europe and Australia, as a sham. Fighting has continued between pro-Russian separatists backed by Russia and the Ukrainian Government. A cease fire agreement on September 5 2015 continues, however, it hasn’t prevented violence breaking out between the two groups. Despite Russia claiming the exit of troops from Ukraine, it has been accused by NATO of a continuing presence in the region and built up military on the border between the countries. The West has introduced some sanctions on such as not allowing bonds to be bought or sold by the EU countries if issued by one of Russia’s five major state owned banks, and travel bans for some government ministers are also in place. The West also openly condemned Russia’s involvement in Ukraine. Whilst the West is still expected to respond to the growing tensions in the Ukraine, any Western country will seek to secure its own safety first and foremost, therefore resisting conflict with Russia. The West’s power in international relations means that it has the scope to employ stronger efforts to stop conflicts between Russia and Ukraine. The NATO agreement also means that the balance of power is firmly in the West’s favour and although Russia is a powerful state, if it continues to alienate Eastern Europe and the West, it’s chances of continuing hostile behaviour in Ukraine or neighbouring countries without serious retaliation and consequences for their international power is slim. Interactions between the sub-national

group of Russian separatists, who are backed by the Russian government, to international institutions such as the United Nations or EU could be crucial. If a compromise between the Russian separatists can be figured out, rather than continuing Russia’s involvement in the Ukraine, a resolution could be reached. The United Nations and the Organisation for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) should be key bodies in the negotiations, as independent international organisations. OSCE oversaw the interactions between Russian and Ukrainian officials when the Minsk Protocol and Memorandum was reached, and where a cease fire between Russian separatist and Ukrainian government was agreed to. This poses promising abilities for the international organisation to positively influence the current situation within the Ukraine. Advocacy for democracy in the Ukraine is supported by the West, as this provides security in its own right. Democratic Peace theory argues that no two democracies have gone to war with each other, because they share liberal ideals where ‘Liberals believe that individuals everywhere are fundamentally the same, and are best off pursuing self-preservation and material well-being. Freedom is required for these pursuits, and peace is required for freedom’ according to John Owen, professor of politics at Virginia University. In the foreseeable future, promoting democracy to Russia and pursing goals in order to achieve this is wasted energy because of Putin’s dictatorial behavior. However, efforts within Ukraine to stabilise their democracy are showing positive signs. Balancing these pursuits with efforts to ensure continued relations with Russia are not severely impacted is imperative. By responding to this situation as quickly as possible and by acting as a strong collective, the West could practice collective security, which means that the more countries that band together, the more powerful they can become, and therefore act as a collective to protect themselves or take action against another power, the issue could be resolved quicker and the threat to the international system could be diminished. However, in a fast paced world, where news only ever lasts for 24 hours, attention to conflict resolution where chaos is not evident is almost a pipe dream, and real action may only occur when unforeseen and extraordinary tragedy does, and sometimes not even then.

AUTHOR Emma Cresdee, 20, Bachelor of Arts Emma needss more clothes, chocolates and cuddles in her life.

TEXAS: The Lone Star State Who am I? Why am I here? Or more specifically, why is this sassy lil bit of politics-themed writing located on your page? First of all, the creation of this piece is a product of my own personal frustration. That’s right, IT’S ALL ABOUT ME GUYS—I NEED TO EXPRESS MY EMOTIONS. I am forever the party guest, the student or family member that somehow manages to swing any topic of conversation from a random discussion to a full on political debate. There’s an election? What are the policies that are going to swing your vote? Your sister is pregnant? How do you feel about the rise of the pro-choice movement vs. the pro-life movement? These are not the kinds of conversations your average human being expects to have over a dinner table (unless you’ve invited me to dinner, in which case, you know what you’re getting yourself into and therefore can only blame yourself). However, over the last few years, in conversations with friends, family and my ‘peer group’(what a load of wank, what even is a peer group?), I’ve been slowly realising that the majority of people I talk to, have very little idea about the most important subject in their life—politics. And you know what? That makes me pretty angry. Ahh politics, I know you hate it, but it’s unavoidable! It worms its way into every

facet of our lives and yet so many people still struggle to explain the policies of the candidates they might vote for, and find it tough to describe how their political system works. Can you honestly say that you knew the policies of Kevin/11 and not just his majestic campaign slogans? Luckily for you, I am in the minority and actually finds politics enjoyable and thus understands it’s craziness; so if you didn’t know any of those things I just listed above, then guess what, you’re part of the 90% of people who not only find politics exasperating but also very confusing.

“You must strive to find your own voice, because the longer you wait the less likely you

are to find it at all.”

— John Keating, Dead Poets Society. Despite the general resistance of the collective to piece together the chaos, immaturity and tediousness of the constant floor show that is politics, I still have friends coming up to me saying, ‘What was that thing you shared on Facebook the other day? I wanted to read it because it sounded interesting but it made no sense and I got bored’. Thus, I end up trying to explain to several different people why the Russian Ruble fell, or why Hillary Clinton is in trouble with her emails. During these talks, I’ve found that it’s not the politics that everyone hates but the way it’s communicated. They

don’t make it easy for a reason – the less you understand, the more they can get away with. Just think about that. So this is essentially why I’m here. Let me be your translator, your gleeful politics saviour! Let me explain (in the least boring terms possible) why you should give a shit about what’s on the news and how it actually affects you in your daily life. Whilst you might not care much about international trade deals or international economies at the moment, you’re probably going to care if the job you’ve spent three years studying for gets shipped off-shore or you loose half your travel money when you go on your next overseas jaunt. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I ONLY GET 40 CENTS TO THE DOLLAR?

I’m sure for most of you sane humans the first thing that comes to mind when you think of him is ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME? Or maybe that’s just my reaction?

Don’t get me wrong know, I’m not some academic know-it-all who walks around with her nose in the air rubbing my ‘wealth’ of knowledge (Pfft—P’s get degrees right?) into the stupefied faces of my peers. I don’t pretend to know everything. I can’t recite all the numbers of Pi and lord knows I can’t tell you a thing about biology or engineering. That’s not my field—but politics is.

I mean what!? What planet is he living on?

Just like you I am a Flinders student, hiking up 20 flights of stairs a day and darting around construction works in an attempt to get a damn degree already. The only difference is I am crazy about government and politics –A Huff Post slideshow of Joe Biden winking at unsuspecting people brings me more joy than an extension on an assignment.

This man–that is running for President of the United States–THE ROLE WHERE THE FINGER IS LITERALLY ON THE BUTTON actually said OUT LOUD, IN PUBLIC, that: ‘When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you,’ Trump said. ‘They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.’

Let’s not forget though that along with the prevalence of superior Mexican food there is also a prevalence of Mexicans here in Texas. To get boring and technical with you, as of 2011 Texas had the second largest percentage of Latino’s in it’s beautiful, burrito-filled lands, making up 38% of Texas’ total population. As of 2013 64.1% of that population was Mexican, so yeah, he ain’t wrong in saying there’s a lot of them about. But lets be real, the idea of classifying an entire group of people based on their race is not only ridiculous and painful to listen to–but guess what? It’s the best way to win a Presidential race here in this melting pot of crazy! See what I did there? Do you feel more powerful yet?

politics. In fact, I was reminded several times by university and border officials that if I’m going 100 miles over the border, even just to visit a museum I must bring my visa with me because if not THEY’LL LOCK ME UP AS A SUSPECTED BORDER RUNNER. Legit. America has drunk the cool-aid and its now a big deal. This kind of conspiracy-theory politics is the calling card of politicians like Trump. His political aim (at least in my opinion) is not to educate but to incite false fear into the brains of the uneducated masses and thus lead those uneducated masses to the polling booth to vote for him. Remind you of anyone in Australia folks? That American craziness that we all love to hate is getting closer, it’s reached our shores and if we’re not careful will engulf us too if we don’t wake up to the power hungry world we currently live in. If there is anything I can leave you with in all this (that’s not me yelling at you through print media) please let it be this: The power to change the world, to speak up and to make your ideas heard is what politics is all about. It might not be flashy and it might not always be exciting, but generations have fought and died for laws to be changed so that you have the ability to have a say in your own life and for you to express your views without fear. If you don’t agree with what a politician (whether Australian or American) is saying about something important to you, then SPEAK UP.

I read articles and books, attend political discussions and get involved with political campaigns and policy, oh and while I’m at it I’m completing my double major in American Studies and Politics. I don’t do this do be a tweed covered, pipe smoking, superior academic, I do this because I want to work out the best way to help you become more informed about the people screwing you over!

If you aren’t aware, immigration, and the fear mongering that comes with it when discussed in American politics, is one of the biggest issues that gets falsified here in the US–apart from Obama being Muslim and a terrorist– ‘HIS MIDDLE NAME IS HUSSEIN GUYS GET OUT THE SWAT TEAM’–said every Republican ever.

In addition to all of this, I’m also currently living in the United States, spending the semester studying in Austin, Texas - so prepare yourself for some future ramblings on HOW RIDICULOUS AMERICANS ARE / WHY DO YOU PEOPLE NEED A ONE CENT COIN!?

This falsification and its power to unite the uneducated literally shows itself every day in American. There was actually a rally at the Austin State Capitol building last week where people were protesting about the conspiracy of Chicago serving as a sanctuary for trailers of Mexican immigrants. YEAH. REALLY. It’s not even in Texas and they were protesting about it.

It’s all on you, baby, it’s up to you who calls the shots. It’s game time.

This thinking has become so entrenched in society that the threat of building a wall along the Texan-Mexico border is actually a real topic that is up for discussion in State

AUTHOR Meaghan King, 23, Bachelor of Arts

Of course, when I said future ramblings, I actually mean that I’m going to bitch about America right now–because lord knows I can’t pass up an opportunity to aggressively type about Donald Trump!

All I ask is that you appreciate and understand that power you have been given. Politics is full of overreaching actors who aim to butcher and sacrifice the very things you hold dear, just so they can get ahead. But you know what? If you are knowledgeable and you are informed it makes it a lot harder for you to be walked over.

FOLLOW ME INTO BATTLE TROOPS. Nothing scares a politician like the educated masses, especially during an election year!

Meaghan needs more Flinders merchandise in her life.

OPENLY SEXUAL

Two-timing, Deceitful, Double-crossing Cheaters. You can’t have failed to notice the big kerfuffle about hackers releasing people’s private details from the Ashley Madison database. To be clear, this is a website dedicated to facilitating adulterous affairs. Honestly, my first reaction was ‘so what?’ If people give their real details (have you not heard of creating secret email accounts, people? Put some effort in for goodness sake) to a site with the intention of lying, deceiving and ultimately hurting their partners, stuff ‘em. After all, my default response to people who are unfaithful to their partners is to assume they’re lazy scumbags with relationship issues that they can’t be bothered to solve. They can’t be bothered to try and fix things, to try and communicate or to go to counselling and then if that doesn’t work, consciously uncouple. I tend to assume they are selfish and think that by having an affair they can just skip all that pesky talking, crying and general hassle that comes with breaking up in a mature responsible manner. Avid Life Media don’t just own Ashley Madison, they own some other choice sites like CougarLife.com ‘a site where women can feel comfortable sharing their real age’, EstablishedMen.com, a site that ‘connects ambitious and attractive girls with successful and generous benefactors to fulfill their lifestyle needs’ and Mancrunch. com, ‘the fastest growing gay hook-up site’ (not anymore!). Unfortunately, the men who were on Mancrunch had their data released indiscriminately along with everyone else who had signed up to an Avid Life Media site. This was a little problematic for those who weren’t ‘out’, particularly since some of them lived in countries where being gay is illegal and where being outed could endanger their lives. So hackers, that was not cool. But the phone app does have a left-handed mode, that is so cool. By the way, let’s just look at the fact that we’re so damning of these so called ‘adulterers’ as opposed to the hackers. Adultery is not actually illegal, hacking is. Unfortunately in our western society, morals are still informed by our mainly Christian background. As an atheist this may annoy me but I can’t ignore it. Society still thinks of marriage as being between two people and, in this country, they apparently still have to be a man and a woman. It’s ridiculous that we assume the ideal presented in the media of one man and one women together forever, forsaking all others (by the way that is the line I tripped up over in my marriage

vows and yes, I am divorced now) as the only way to model our relationships and anything else is an aberration. I have friends in open relationships with varying levels of ‘open’ and various rules of conduct that are generally well communicated. I don’t believe in the fantasy that we all meet someone in our twenties and can somehow stay with that person for the rest of our lives having never growing, never changing, never being tempted and being blissfully happy for the next 60+ years. Did the people who signed up for Ashley Madison deserve to be exposed? Yes and no. The ones who have been going around publically spewing hate for same sex marriage as it will “ruin the sanctity of marriage” whilst privately ruining the “sanctitiy” of their own marriages by indulging in extramarital affairs—I say expose them for the hypocrites they are. The ones who are in abusive relationships and have subsequently been bashed because they were exposed—no, most emphatically no; there is no excuse for domestic violence and sometimes it is hard to escape. Those who are on the sites because they have terminally ill partners who can no longer have a physical relationship—we don’t know what their situation is, what agreements the couple have privately come to or what we would do to protect our loved ones feelings. Either way it is none of our business. And those who checked it out and maybe had a fantasy flirt with no intention of actually being unfaithful and ended up finding friends and a support network—they don’t deserve public exposure in this indiscriminate abuse of privacy. Maybe they need to learn to communicate to their partner better but again, it is none of our business.

It does if it would hurt your partner if they were to find out and you hadn’t discussed it with them. When you enter a relationship you should be clear about who you are and what makes you tick. If you need to go off and get the occasional head job from a guy whilst in a stable relationship then you need to be upfront about that. If you think your partner chatting with ex-girlfriends online late at night is behaviour you are not comfortable with you need to be clear about it. And when the sex doll robots become an affordable reality you need to decide whether you are going to be okay with your partner having sex with an android. Things to ask yourself before being unfaithful: • Are you just hoping to get caught so you can break up? Then just break up with them. • Will this hurt your partner? Then don’t. Go home and sort it out or break up with them. • Is this next twenty minutes worth feeling like a scumbag for months and/or hurting your partner? Go home and decide if you want to break up with your partner. • Is this sanctioned as within the rules of your relationship? Then you aren’t being unfaithful, have fun! • Is your partner in a coma from which they will never recover? Make sure the person you are having sex with knows the deal and that your family never finds out and go for it. • Are you not practising safe sex and risking your partner’s health? I can’t even look at you. Go and take a good hard look at yourself.

Which brings us to the question of what exactly constitutes being unfaithful? It depends on each individual couple, threesome or polygamous relationship. For some couples, occasionally bringing in a third person for sex is their norm, but if either of them were to go off with someone on their own that would be a betrayal. For some, they have an ‘oral sex only’ rule (no penetration, no affection) with others. In certain relationships the use of porn can be seen as a betrayal if the other partner has expressed that they consider it out of bounds.

• Is your partner no longer able to have sex with you or actually recognise who you are but totally reliant on you for everything including changing their catheter? Then it is none of anyone’s business.

So does flirting on Ashley Madison or indeed any online forum constitute being unfaithful?

Emma’s life needs more exciting adventures in exotic countries. And more places to have great coffee.

• Was your partner unfaithful and this is payback? This will only hurt both of you again. Get some counselling and move past their transgression or move on.

AUTHOR Emma Sachsse, 42, Bachelor of Psychology (Hons)

technologica Target Acquired I spend a lot of time listening to music while typing at my keyboard. Recently I have found that my usual Pandora station of study music, an eclectic mixture of punk and rock, is less conducive to the work environment I am currently in. So I made a change. It took a while, but eventually I noticed the biggest difference was not the music: the advertisements were no longer trying to sell me new phones and alcohol, they were instead convincing me to get a credit card so that I don’t have to borrow money from my parents. They also suggested that both the military and the Green Army had jobs, because my new music taste suggested I could use a better one. Targeted advertising is not a new concept. Companies have been purchasing ad space in magazines, radio and on television that they thought best reached their target audience, for almost as long as those separate media have existed. The modern change, with the introduction of the internet, is the increasing level of granularity that companies can select their audience with, alongside reduced guess work. Where previously a product marketed at homemaking parents might be limited to midday movies for highest results, it is now possible to select that you would like ads to appear in the Facebook newsfeed of middleaged adults who are not currently employed and have children of a certain age. It’s not perfect, but you will hit the target market with better accuracy. However, this model presents several problems. Google analytics uses various methods to collect and collate data about their users, including a scan of email content. For example, close to personal vacations it is common for people to start seeing more advertisements about airlines and travel insurance. Many people find it a little bit unsettling; even though it isn’t people who are looking at these emails, it still feels invasive. Target found out the hard way that too direct an advertising campaign can rile people, when a father discovered that his teenage daughter was pregnant from the company’s mailed coupons for baby gear, rather than from the girl herself. Their system guessed she might be pregnant based off of changed purchasing habits, such as buying certain vitamin supplements. If mildly creepy advertisements were the only cost of targeted marketing, we would probably have a lower use of ad blocking software and less distrust of free services such as Google and Target loyalty cards. Unfortunately, in addition to sharing uncomfortable truths, advertisements can also deliver malicious software, called malware. Malware is a broad term covering computer viruses and other unwanted software that is intended to damage your system or use your resources against

your will. In this way, users using Ad Blocker are less susceptible to malicious script (the same effect can be achieved by using plug-ins like No Script, which disables the flashy parts of the ads but still brings the website you are visiting revenue). By using bigger and flashier attention-grabs, criminals have found it much easier to plant malware into innocent users’ web browsers, simply by adding extra code, hidden beneath that disturbingly large cleavage selling itself in your side bar. For those of you, like myself, on limited data plans, there is an additional downside to tracking, targeting and the ostentatious display of commercialism: all of those bytes you don’t really want are taking away from your monthly quota. Firefox has the option to turn on tracking protection, so you still see all of the advertisements but they are not collecting all of the information from you that they were before. In some cases, this has been demonstrated to save load time (largely by using less data) by almost half. However, simply blocking advertisements and disabling tracking only makes these websites try harder to bypass such measures, as this is their primary source of income. For anyone using a service for free, expect that someone somewhere is paying for it. There are ethical debates, arguing that taking the content without observing the intended advertisements or partaking in tracking is tantamount to stealing as the website only receives the income if your browser actually receives the advertisement, not by you visiting the page. Others suggest that there is no way to know to what extent that particular website is supported by advertisements until you visit the page. By then it is too late to choose if the potential content is worth the risk of malware and higher data use. There are alternative models, such as paywalls, paid membership models or microtransactions, which allow more flexibility and allay people’s privacy and security concerns, but none that have become widely used. There are certainly many other, inbuilt, areas of concern on the internet. What makes this one, however, particularly noteworthy is how much it effects, and relies on, the average internet user. Whereas a lot of internet security can be implemented by a professional in a remote location, this issue involves the person who has the least knowledge and capability to fix it: me and you. To counter this, I suggest that the average person do what I do at times like these; have a coffee, take a breath, get another coffee, and then keep browsing. AUTHOR Kevin Clark, 21, Bachelor of Engineering (Software) Kevin says his life needs more sleep or coffee, depending on the time of semester.

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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT GENDER NEUTRALITY By restricting people’s choices and behaviours based on their gender, we are holding them back by Eleanor Danenberg Gender Neutrality has been a hot-button issue in the last few months, with Target in the United States announcing it would make their bedding and toy departments gender throughout the country’s 1799 stores. This change roughly coincided with Seattle passing the law to make all public bathrooms gender neutral, whether the buildings these bathrooms are in are owned by the city or by private businesses. This includes local businesses such as coffee shops, hotels, restaurants, and stores. The introduction of gender neutral bathrooms is a very significant step toward making transgender people feel safe and accepted in public spaces; statistics show that trans folks experience much higher rates of violence, harassment, and bullying than the general cisgender community, and public bathrooms are often a place where the situations could manifest. When a gender fluid or transgender person approaches public toilets, they must face the dichotomous doors, male and female. What if they don’t perfectly align with either of those categories? For a lot of trans people who haven’t transitioned, the gender they ‘look like’ the most might not be the gender that they personally align with; this can cause a lot of embarrassment when choosing which bathroom to use. Unfortunately, trans people face the risk of physical or verbal abuse behind gendered bathroom doors; for example, a trans woman who ‘looks manly’ uses a ladies public toilet and is called a pervert, gets asked to leave, and might even have the police called on her. Public toilets for all, no matter your gender, are a space where no one can tell trans people that they don’t belong. A similar law regarding gender neutral

public bathrooms was passed in Philadelphia last year, and the US federal government has also implemented these bathrooms in the White House. While this recent push for gender neutrality has been widely celebrated, the movement has met opposition. Anyone on social media, or anyone who checks out Buzzfeed regularly, probably heard about Mike Melgaard; also known as the man who created a fake Target customer service Facebook and trolled the people who complained about their gender neutral changes. When people commented on the page saying that they did not agree with Target’s ‘overly politically correct’ choice, and that they would no longer be shopping there, the page responded with comments such as: ‘There’s no real nice way to put this, so we at Target will just say it: You’re a real dick’, and ‘We will now be adding you to the ‘cannot shop here’ list’. The Facebook account was only active for 16 hours before it was shut down, but it managed to go viral in that short amount of time. I am still astounded at the level of opposition to pushes for gender neutrality, because it seems so obvious to me; I believe that gender neutrality would be so valuable and society will move forward if we embrace it. Something I don’t believe however, is that girls are born loving the colour pink and wanting to wear dresses and makeup, and that boys are born with a preference for the colour blue, and trucks and building blocks as their toys of choice. I see gender as socially constructed, and that from the moment we are born, we are pigeonholed into our gender roles by society, and if we stray from the strict boundaries outlined to us, we will face the consequences.

The colours, labelling, and types of toys available to children at department stores may not seem like a big deal, but it sets in motion a process that continues throughout our lives. By labelling toys as ‘boys’, we are telling girls that they are not welcome to have them and enjoy them. By grouping sports and careers as ‘girly’, we are telling boys that they should not want, or be able to pursue them. And it is everything inbetween toys and potential careers, infancy and adulthood; clothes, colours, TV shows, movies, books, hairstyles, subjects at school, sports, and hobbies are all gendered at one point or another. By restricting people’s choices and behaviours based on their gender, we are holding them back. It is so simple to encourage the younger generation to be open-minded, and for us to give them the freedom and choice they deserve. If we stop labelling toys, bedspreads, and sports as ‘boys’ and ‘girls’, then maybe kids will grow up disregarding other gender norms like, ‘Women can’t be engineers, that’s a man’s job’, or ‘Men can’t be stay-at-home parents, that’s a woman’s job’. I was fortunate enough to have parents that raised me with a similar freedom, and looking back, I think they raised me exactly the same way they would have if I were a boy. They never discouraged me from pursuing something simply because I was a girl, and when I decided at age eight that I wanted to chop all of my hair off, they encouraged me–and they continued to encourage me when I cut it all off again at ages 10, 12, 18, and 20. My Dad introduced me to Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and James Bond, and I became hooked. In fact, a vivid childhood memory of mine is going shopping for Star Wars

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pyjamas with Dad in our local Target. We looked in the girls section and the only Star Wars garment I found was a white t-shirt with a purple Princess Leia on it. I remember the purple caption as something along the lines of, ‘When I grow up, I want to be a princess’, or possibly ‘Don’t call me Princess.’ I was so disappointed with this as the only Star Wars option for girls. I mean, Princess Leia is an amazing female character; stubbornly independent and whip smart, she doesn’t take anyone’s crap, and besides that famous ‘I’m Luke Skywalker, I’m here to rescue you!’ scene, she does her fair share of rescuing her male counterparts too. Not only did this shirt not do Leia justice, but also, it was not what I wanted. I was feeling very let down, and that was when my Dad suggested we look in the boy’s section. I remember being absolutely mortified at the idea of wearing boy’s clothes, and I said to Dad that no way would I go into the boy’s section. And this is when my Dad provided the voice of reason, and also the crux of my argument for gender neutrality; he said that the only difference between boys and girls clothes was what it says on the tag, it was only a label. So, we went to the boy’s section, and we found two different types of Star Wars pyjamas to choose from; one pair was yellow and blue and had Storm Troopers on them, and the other were red and black and had Darth Vader on them. Under the encouragement of my supportive Dad, I picked the Darth Vader pyjamas, and I loved them. I think the world is ready for gender neutrality, beyond the bedding, toy, clothing, and book departments of shops. Gendering is unnecessary and harmful, yet it permeates all stages of our lives, and gender neutral movements are fighting against this. We owe ourselves, and the future generations, the freedom to choose; to choose what toys we want to play with, what movies we want to watch, what we want to be when we grow up. Our sex chromosomes shouldn’t dictate those decisions, we should. Not every girl wants to be a princess; perhaps she wants to be a Jedi. AUTHOR Eleanor Danenberg, 20, Bachelor of Arts (High Achievers) Eleanor needs more Chandler Bing in her life.

ARTIST Sheydin Dew

I AM DONE. ~ - Feminism -

On holiday from reason and civility Normally, I do my best to provide reasoned arguments based on evidence and present them in a way which is non-discriminatory and communicates the full complexity of the issue at hand. At least I try to achieve this, and then convince myself that I have done the best I can in under 500 words. But this time, I am just going to let loose, simply because I am beyond being reasonable. I have been pushed too far. I can no longer debate feminism. I shouldn’t even have to debate equality in the first place, but debates over equality exist nonetheless. Debating and arguing is happening because apparently gender equality isn’t necessary. You heard it here first! In this day and age where women are being sold off to marriage at 10 years old, where one in six women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime, and where being compared to a woman is generally an insult, gender equality is unnecessary. We don’t need feminism, and we certainly don’t need feminists because we obviously already have gender equality. My biggest mistake is that I take equality all too seriously and the matter sits too close to my heart; after all, I am the more emotional sex. How could my mind possibly function under all the stress of having to align with every single feminist on the planet (because we are all obviously exactly the same and don’t have independent thoughts—we are literally a hive mind) when all my brain was designed to do was remember that recipe for cherry pie and reproduce on cue. How have women possibly existed for so long in this stressful society where we have had to resort

to pursuing our own careers (gasp!), living independently (scream!), and buying our own damn jewellery (faints in horror!). Angry sarcasm aside, I am at the end of my rope. This is because most of my feminist debating occurs with people who don’t care about the rules of debate, and if they did, the rules wouldn’t apply anyway. Nothing grinds my gears more than people who, for whatever reason, throw a red herring into the conversation and refuse to address any logical points you have made. Gone are the days where I enjoyed reading the comments sections online to see if there is a different perspective out there I hadn’t already considered. People are all too keen to put in their own two cents and then run for the hills when someone provides a well-thought out rebuttal—which makes me question why even contribute to the comments section if you aren’t actually going to participate? Pro tip: don’t read a comments section unless you need an angry adrenaline rush. When I do find a somewhat worthy candidate to debate a feminist-led campaign (normally one of my shit-stirring Facebook friends who antagonise me to no end, but for unknown reasons I haven’t yet blocked them) they still assume that I am just another ‘femi-nazi’ who will scream and scream and never actually listen. For goodness sakes people, not all feminists are the same! Not all actors are the same, not all Liberal voters are the same, and not all feminists are the same. The only thing feminists have in common is that we believe women have been systematically oppressed (past and present) and that something should be done about it. I do listen to different views

and new evidence, goddamn it, and I change my views based on new evidence. If you knew me, you would know this instead of having to make incorrect assumptions. When someone assumes that feminism is a ‘nothing-topic’, and isn’t actually worthy of more than a minutes’ thought, I take it very personally. I had someone ask me, via Facebook message no less, six questions on various feminist topics so they could get a feel for what sort of feminist I am. Because, as a feminist, I am a case-study and this requires me to perform my feminism for the benefit of others entertainment. Doing the responsible and polite thing, I responded to each of these questions in full—I provided my opinion, the logic which backed my opinions, alternate views which I may not agree with but have considered and why, and possibilities or circumstances that I hadn’t yet considered properly. My response came to just over 150 words per answer. Their response? ‘Holy crap balls, I thought it was a fairly quick question.’ A quick question? A QUICK QUESTION?! You realise that, with every feminist topic and campaign, I consider gender, age, race, ability, financial status, preferences of the people directly involved, the ongoing effects and how these can be managed, the history of the topic, who is being oppressed, how they’re being oppressed, and how best to address the issue? There is no such thing as a quick question or a quick solution in feminism, especially when factors within the issue are contradictory. As an example, The NASA guy at the press conference with the semi-naked women on his shirt? It’s horrible women are being objectified like that, but a woman knowingly made the shirt off their own motivation, but it really wasn’t appropriate for the occasion, but also no one deserves any negative consequence because of the clothes they choose to wear (ie. ‘deserving’ to be raped because they wore a short skirt). IT IS COMPEX AND YOUR DISMISSAL OF THE TOPIC IS ULTIMATELY INSULTING. What is even worse is mansplainers. I would like to say it here and for evermore: if you personally have not experienced the topic of discussion, your opinion/input means little and your response instantly loses credibility and is likely to be dismissed. You don’t have a uterus? Then you can’t tell me what to do with mine unless you have a MD. You’ve never experienced sexual assault? Stop telling me how to avoid it. You’re a working class male telling me the glass ceiling is made up and women don’t really want to be in executive positions within a company? Your stupid is showing. On this note, the #NotAllMen campaign pisses me off to no end. Yes, we know not all men rape or assault women. Yes, we know not all men would rape or assault a woman, or anyone for that matter. When you say #NotAllMen, what you’re really saying is ‘I haven’t and wouldn’t rape or

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assault someone.’ Congratulations on making a campaign about how women are grossly overrepresented in victim statistics all about you. You obviously have no idea what you’re talking about, and haven’t even made an effort to fully consider what you’re saying. Fuck off. And don’t EVER mansplain fucking feminism to a feminist. No, not all feminists hate men. Many people hate men, and some of these people are feminists. You’re going to tell me you believe in equal rights, but not feminism? Congratulations on not actually knowing what you are talking about! You’re going to tell me a sexist joke? I’m just going to stand here prompting you to explain the humour to me so you realise just how ridiculous you are. Apparently I need to point out there are many, many issues feminists want to address. Just because I’m not addressing one issue doesn’t mean I don’t care or have forgotten about it. It’s like saying to successfully make a 500km journey by car—I have to do it all in one shot. That’s total bullshit. There is no one solution that will fix every feminist issue: we are all working together, bit by bit to achieve the equality we so desire (also, again, why is equality something we desire? Why doesn’t equality just exist?). I am deeply concerned that education is not freely available to women in some parts of the

world. I am also concerned about the freedoms Western women don’t have over their body, whether it is abortion rights or the injustice of being policed because ‘holy crap I just saw a woman’s nipple! Who will think of the children?!’ Neither of these issues is more important than the other; no two issues can be compared. It would also create more equality issues if white women descended upon the Middle East to force our own concept of equality without consideration of culture or religion. Every feminist issue is as important as the last, and if you took a moment to consider the farreaching consequences of any policing or systematic oppression, you wouldn’t argue that feminists are sexually frustrated and that’s why they have shirtless rallies (p.s. if you agree with this sentiment, you’re an asshole). So, in the spirit of reconciliation, I would like to provide some truths I hope you will consider when discussing feminism or a feminist topic. Feminism stands for gender equality, yet it is still to be called feminism to herald its beginnings—campaigning for women’s rights in an oppressive patriarchal society. Not all feminists stand for the same things, nor do all feminists hold rallies and public campaigns to further their agenda. Not all feminists are lesbians. You don’t need to have a vagina to be a feminist. There are many different ‘types’

of feminists, and they will all approach equality in different ways. Yes, there are many feminist issues; no, they cannot all be fixed in a single day or with a single solution. Yes, it is perfectly acceptable to question the logic behind any argument (feminist or otherwise); no, it is not appropriate to liken your counterpart’s argument to the tactics of feminists who do scream at men. If you’re dismissing a feminist issue because a woman explained it to you, then yes, you are part of the problem. Finally, yes, it is personally insulting to be instantly dismissed because I believe in gender equality. There you go. I am sick of arguing and debating something that I find so selfexplanatory. I am sick of entertaining office-chair wowsers practicing their inability to provide logic. So, I will now go back to providing reasoned arguments to people who do not follow the conventions of debate. Until the next time I lose my mind due to disrespectful individuals, farewell readers! #feminist4lyf

AUTHOR Kaisha Wyld, 22, Bachelor of Psychology (Honours) Kaisha’s life needs more books and cheesecake.

ARTIST Sheydin Dew

17 17

it’s all in your

mind The complications of mental health are too often obscured by unrealistic views coming from prejudice and stereotype. These hold back progress but still progress is being made. Mental health is a complicated issue. That’s my submission for the 2015 ‘Statement of the Fucking Obvious’ award. It’s recognised as a complicated issue, but also regarded as something of a messy one. A lot of people are wary of the complexities of metal illness and how they can approach it. Sometimes they are wary for good reasons as they don’t know how to handle it and fear screwing up their response, and sometimes for less positive reasons, as they push someone away out of fear of the unknown. It’s common for someone to say they are anxious or depressed. They have become flippant terms to be thrown about in

crowds or confronting social situations, but exists separate to an individual trigger. It may come from a brief comment that seems dismissive or negative and grow into something significant from these insubstantial roots. Depression is a similar issue to anxiety. It is normal to go up and down in emotion. As events exert different influences upon you, your feelings change. A person will feel and respond negatively to the loss of a loved one. This is not a depressive disorder in itself—though it could provide the trigger to one—it is the normal reaction of an emotionally mature person to a terrible event. When you go beyond the realm of these shallow labels, you come to the place of mental illness. It’s a scary title that no one wants to have attached to them. Despite

“Each person’s reasoning for distancing themselves from a mentally ill friend is likely to be different. Some may have mental health problems of their own or in those they love, some may not know how to deal with it, and some may just be prejudiced due to fear of the unknown.” casual conversations. People who find themselves temporarily down might say that they are depressed. Those who are nervous about an exam or about asking someone out might claim to have anxiety. Truthfully, an anxiety disorder is not that feeling of a clear concern regarding a single matter. It is natural to be nervous about an exam or about asking someone out. These are things that may appear to have high stakes attached to them. To have an anxiety disorder is to have that feeling detached from a clear event. Social anxiety, for example, may be triggered by

this fear of diagnosed depression, people still throw these terms around without much thought. ‘I have anxiety’ may be the hardest words ever spoken by an individual (particularly if their anxiety stems from social situations) and could be met with a flippant ‘we all get nervous sometimes!’ Overuse and misuse of these terms helps no one in downplaying or overplaying genuine problems. To this day, the image of a psychiatric hospital looms large as some horrifying spectre on the periphery of civilisation.

The image isn’t helped by so many negative examples scattered throughout pop culture. From One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest to American Horror Story: Asylum, psychiatric hospitals are presented as cold and inhuman institutes with little care for their wards. The patients are presented as hopeless cases and broken wrecks. As a greater number of television shows seek to portray mental illness in a more sophisticated and accurate way, this image is gradually fading. Shows such as Hannibal with its portrayal of criminal profiler Will Graham, Breaking Bad and its protagonists Walt and Jesse, and even Doctor Who have sought to exhibit more sophisticated characters living with mental illnesses and working through them. It is no longer merely a case of the extreme. The truth is that mental illnesses are prevalent in society and though progress is being made in improving the way people view them and what aid is offered, it’s still not enough for many. Currently, it is near impossible to get proper treatment in the public health system, providing up to ten individual sessions with an allied mental healthcare professional per year. According to Beyond Blue, 1 million Australian adults have depression and 2 million have anxiety. The reasons each person has for their illnesses will be as wide a collection as any health problem. The true nature of these illnesses lies in the vast area between the glib descriptions of someone self-diagnosing anxiety due to nervousness over a major event and the images of institutionalised and helpless people. Regardless of the misconceptions that surround the issue, it is possible to live a productive life while carrying these illnesses. You may read this knowing you have such an illness and may find it difficult to tell others. Many do. It’s a hard subject to broach with someone and peoples’

responses can vary greatly. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and it took me years to tell most people. Already finding the simplest of social situations confronting, expressing such personal information was terrifying. It’s still difficult. The responses I have received to this admission have been incredibly varied; some engage with it, some fear and avoid it, and some take it scarily seriously. It would be easy to say that those who distance themselves are not worth having as friends, and while that may well be true, it is much more complicated than that. Each person’s reasoning for distancing themselves from a mentally ill friend is likely to be different. Some may have mental health problems of their own or in those they love, some may not know how to deal with it, and some may just be prejudiced due to fear of the unknown. On the positive side, a lot of good can come from the small act of acknowledging mental illness. There is hope. While I can only speak for myself, I have found that being more open about my depression and anxiety has made dealing with these conditions easier. Winston Churchill is known for characterising his depression as the ‘Black Dog’ (and also being the British wartime Prime Minister). The stoic image of Churchill set against the Nazi menace is arguably a better one than some, but it is still framed in the traditional image of ‘stiff-upper-lip’ British aristocracy; not exactly the most open minded and liberal approach to the complexities of mental health. Churchill coped with mental illness almost by ignoring it as a part of himself, distancing himself from his depression and characterising it as an external enemy. Evidently, the truth is more difficult and complicated.

An incredibly well known stereotype is of the ‘suffering artist’; an individual afflicted with the demons of mental illness directly connected to their artistic brilliance. Figures such as Vincent van Gogh, Hunter S Thompson and Sylvia Plath are regarded in this way too often. They are presented in a romantic mystique and the complexities of their personality are forgotten as they disappear behind the stereotype. Fundamentally, it is important for mental illness to be seen in a similar regard to physical ailments as it can be just as utterly debilitating to those who suffer it. There may be some people whose experiences are similar to those of Plath, Churchill, Van Gogh or Thompson, but it is important to remember that the experiences of one person are not the same as those of another. We are as varied a group as any. There are those who cannot face social situations with the same ease as others, some who are constantly gripped by a feeling of loneliness or failure, and there are others who find themselves compelled to check and reorder things. It is important to remember that every case, and far more importantly, every person, must be treated uniquely. Mental illness does not discriminate. It can come to anyone and the reasons may not always be as obvious as those surrounding a ‘trigger’ (e.g. the loss of a loved one). Mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety can be hereditary, as I found them to be in my case. It can be a simple matter of a chemical imbalance and nothing more mysterious. Mental illness may appear more fascinating because the symptoms are less obviously attributable. They could be explained away as laziness, forgetfulness or insecurity.

According to the ‘Bettering the Evaluation and Care of Health’ survey, 12.3% of gp encounters were mental health related in 2012-2013.

No one wonders why the person with the broken leg can’t run—the cause and effect is evident. A broken leg won’t be mended or adequately remedied by positive thought and ‘powering through’ and nobody expects it to. Mental illnesses should be treated with similar expectations. Recently, Lance Franklin, a famous Australian rules footballer pulled out of the finals due to suffering from mental illness. The fact that Franklin has allowed it go public that he suffers from mental illness indicates it is more accepted and some progress has been made. That said, he has kept a lot quiet which implies that not all is accepted. The media and the sport executives avoid commenting on the subject, speaking volumes of the public’s negative perception of mental illness. We may not be moving as fast as we ought to in bringing about acceptance of mental illness, but there has been some movement. There are many useful resources such as Lifeline and BeyondBlue to reach out to when you or a loved one are in need. Every person has unique experiences in mental health and takes a different road through their illness. While it may never be a straight one, it is there.

If you are in need of help, please contact: BeyondBlue: 1300 22 4636 Lifeline: 13 11 14 Headspace: 1800 650 890

AUTHOR Liam McNally, 22, Bachelor of Creative Arts (Creative Writing) Liam’s life needs more Summer and cats.

According to Mental Health Council of Australia, at least one third of people have had a mental illness episode by the time they are 25 years old.

- Get Smart -

Going down with the Ship As a married woman, I’ve lived through more than my average share of Man Flu seasons. Wingman’s self-prescribed treatment appears to revolve around sleep, cups of tea, a day or two off work, computer games and more sleep. Brilliant plan. I highly applaud it. Today I’d like to tell you about something far more destructive. The atomic bomb of illness, if you like—Mum Flu. If you’ve got kids, or know a Mum, then you know what I’m talking about. The captain falls and the ship goes down with it. A collective domestic amnesia hits the family. Nobody can work out how to run the dishwasher. Confusion reigns over the lack of clean clothing. Everyone starves because nobody remembers how to wield a frying pan or what temperature to set the oven to reheat the pizza. If you happen to be the rare university student-parent hybrid, life gets really tough, really fast. Your need for sleep and someone to take over your life effectively triples in line with your workload, which presents several obvious problems. You don’t want to be ‘that person’ who asks their tutor for an extension, but at the same time you know getting that 2000 word essay in on time will require some sort of miracle. You’re not religious, but you pray anyway. Your energy level is inversely proportional to your rising stress, but you still drag your butt out of bed and get to campus because of six magical words: ‘Tutorial attendance and participation is graded.’ Also, because you’re a freakin’ rock star. You will literally do anything to ensure your kids don’t catch the flu from you, including (but not limited to) dousing you, them and

every surface in the house with Glen 20. You will clutch at any and all wives tales about the flu. Vicks on the feet before bed? Check. Leaving a cut onion on your nightstand to ‘absorb toxins’? Done. Purchasing every conceivable type of lozenge on the market? Yep, even the ones that Choice say are placebos. You don’t care. You’re desperate. With that in mind, here’s a short guide to recovering from illness, student-style: • If you don’t need to be on campus, stay home. Watch lectures from under a doona, in your sweats, with a steaming cup of tea at your side. • If you have to choose between lectures and tutorials, go with the tutes. Let your tutor know ahead of time that you’re still coming in, but you may need to leave early. • Stay on top of your assignment due dates. If you know ahead of time that you’re not going to meet a deadline, email your tutor. Do not leave this until the due date! Even the nice ones hate that. • Bribe someone to make you chicken soup. Trust me, it’s medicinal. • Keep your fluids up. Drink lots of water, tea, and orange juice. Now is not the time to get fussy about sugar content. • A well-timed pizza delivery is always allowed. • Get the good, soft tissues. You’ll thank me later. • Stock up on your favourite (non-creamy) ice blocks. After a week of the flu, when you can’t taste anything anymore, these

are a godsend. My favourites are Streets Cyclones. • Now is a fantastic time to start that new TV series you’ve never had time for before. You’re stuck on the couch anyway, might as well make the most of it. • Acquire a pet of some description for snuggling up to while taking couch naps. I highly recommend dogs over cats here because, well, cats are arseholes who take delight in watching you suffer. Dogs on the other hand are perfectly content to be your hot water bottle. (Anything reptilian is obviously a fairly useless choice on that score). • Accept help. When I was sick recently, a friend stocked my freezer with pasta bake and I could have kissed the ground she walked on. (This is actually really good life advice for non-sick folks too. The last thing Ol’ Plaguey wants to think about is cooking for other people, so score some brownie points and bring over a lasagna). • Take lots of hot, steamy showers. (No, not that type of shower…although if your significant other can manage to look past the dead-sexy mucousy hunchback thing you’ve got going on, and you’ve still got the lung capacity, then power to you!) • And finally, SLEEP. I can’t stress this enough. Good luck and Godspeed, fellow germies!

AUTHOR Karen Smart, ‘On the flip side of 30, Bachelor of Arts (History/Creative Writing) Karen’s life needs more chances to dance to embarrassing pop playlists on Spotify.

Rites of Girlhood A personal exploration of rites of passage for trans girls

My birthday is coming up quite soon. It’s not the first birthday I’m celebrating knowing that I am trans, but it’s my first where everyone who knows me knows I am; the first since I’ve been out. I’m an adult, have been for a few years, and I’ve finally been able to convince half my family to stop giving me birthday presents. I’m hoping that those who still do will give me clothes I’ll actually wear, and perfumes that won’t just sit on the shelf collecting dust. I’ve been out as transgender for nearly two years and it’s been a huge journey. I have two younger sisters and I watched them grow up and have seen all the rites of passage they went through; their first bras, first ear piercings, when they started getting teen girl magazines, when they started going through puberty. There are definitely rites of passage that all teenagers go through, first kiss, first sexual experiences, first alcohol, first time smoking weed, and there are also things that other young women go through such as catcalls and unwanted sexualisation. I’m not ready to call myself a trans woman yet. I totally could, but I’m yet to do a bunch of things other girls and women have. So I call myself a girl as if I’m yet to go through puberty. And that’s quite true in some ways, particularly as I’m on the cusp of a second puberty myself (yep, you heard right, second puberty!). I’d dabbled in makeup before I ever did a full face of it. I, like a lot of people my age, had a scene phase, and eyeliner was definitely a thing overused. My first makeup kit was a gift from one of my best friends. I still have half the eye shadow palette but everything else is long gone. One of my crowning achievements of late is that my makeup collection is now a sprawling mess on my dresser, like most of my friends’. These days I wear eyeliner more often than not, I’ve always got nail polish on, even if it is

chipped, and I’ve always got two different lipsticks in my purse. I bought my first bra with my girlfriend at the time, a massive 18F cup wearer, and so when we were looking though the bras we had this mutual bond between two people who couldn’t find a really cute bra that would fit. I have wide shoulders and a wide ribcage so I don’t really fit much below a size 16, and would you guess how hard it was to find an A cup bra that is size 16! So I ended up buying a size 14B and using an extender so that it would fit. It was pinkish red, with a hibiscus flower on it and little ribbon bows. I now fill a 16B completely and have almost a dozen of varying colours. While I was still in high school, one of my younger sisters started moving from young girls magazines to teen girl magazines like Girlfriend and Dolly, and even some women’s magazines like Cleo and Cosmo. I remember sneaking them out of her room to read them; because while a half-naked girl on the bonnet of a car is pretty hot (the kind of magazines my peers at the time read), I’d much rather get tips on how to get the perfect wing on my eyeliner or learn to contour my broken nose into a cute shape. I bought a few for myself recently and was super shocked at the content being entirely different (Youtube vloggers are everywhere now). I think I’ll probably continue to buy trashy magazines cause who doesn’t like reading them just to find out the latest sex tips or the new methods of keeping your foundation from melting off during summer. I’m pretty experienced with shaving—got to be when I have to shave almost twice a day—but shaving your face is nothing like shaving your legs. I totally understand the feminist agenda against shaving their legs (that’s a joke, I completely understand the reasons for and against shaving). Even today I struggle to get every hair the first go. Often I discover a line all the way up on the back of

my leg. I’m such a huge fan of waxing though, which is always a great ‘girls night in’ thing to do (before you get too many bottles of wine in though). I can count on one hand the girls I know who haven’t had their ears pierced. Its apparently pretty much a cultural thing for girls to get theirs done between the ages of 8 to 12. A quick trip to the hairdressers and a few seconds fumbling with the gun before the quick sharp pain and bam, you can now put little bits of metal in your ears to look prettier. I got mine done a few weeks ago, one of the first rites of passage to girlhood that I’ve been wanting for a while (and you bet I paid a professional piercer to take the time to put a sterile needle through mine instead of a gun). Honestly though, getting my ears pierced hurt more than getting my nose done, and I’d even put it up there alongside some of my tattoos (and I have a lot of them). Almost every aspect of girlhood/womanhood is dictated to girls/women. Hair especially. And as a trans girl it’s just as bad. In my late teens I had long hair and I loved it. I can’t remember why I cut it off, but I did. And for years I kept my hair pretty short. It’s not too bad now, but for the longest time I was almost forced to wear a wig if I wanted any chance to be seen as a girl. I still have two of them, but they’ve been relegated to the back of my shelves while I’m experimenting with my hair for the first time in a long time. I am but one trans girl and these experiences are my own. The openness with which I discuss these things is not something you can expect from every trans person either. AUTHOR

Elle Void, 23, Bachelor of Social Work Elle’s life needs more expensive wines and artisan vegan cheeses.

New Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. Artist Elaine Cheng, Words Steph Walker.

Annabel Crabb Retweeted

Laura Telford

@Telfordlaura

Introducing Australias 29th Prime Minister @TurnbullMalcolm #libspill #auspol #movingon #movingforward #21stcenturygovernment 9:56 pm 14 Sep 15 97 RETWEETS 345 FAVOURITES

Nothing says ‘I love politics’ quite like a leadership spill. In the recent past, we have come to associate leadership spills with the Australian Labor Party, but that is no longer the case; with the axing of Prime Minister Tony Abbott in favour of Malcolm Turnbull on Monday 14th September, a mere four days short of two years in power. While it was obvious that Abbott’s leadership was in trouble, few people believed the spill would happen as quickly as it did. Back in February we saw a failed leadership spill instigated by the backbench, and some have compared the events of that day to the most recent spill; but the two spills are inherently different. On the first attempt, the motivation of the backbench was to try and secure their seats for another term, having little consultation with the frontbench and key players within the government including Malcolm Turnbull and Julie Bishop. It was because of this, that when the call for leader nominations came, no one other than Tony Abbott put his hand up, making a mockery of the entire situation. Moreover, immediately after the failed coup, Tony Abbott swore that things would change, asking for six months to fix the Coalition’s dismal polling numbers and to get the government back on track. It was that promise which secured Abbott’s job up until that fateful day in September. It has been obvious for a while now that Tony Abbott has not had the unwavering support that he once did in Opposition, and after over 30 ‘bad polls’ it seems the party decided something more needed to be done. The leadership spill this time around was a calculated decision made with cross-factional support and with the support of the Deputy Liberal Leader Julie Bishop whereby Malcolm Turnbull was able to win the leadership ballot 54-44. Side note: Julie Bishop was challenged for Deputy by Kevin Andrews on the same night but was re-elected 70-30. Now I am sure it has not escaped your

newsfeeds, TV screens and newspapers, that people (none more so than the Today Show’s Carl Stefanovic) are upset that our elected members have taken it upon themselves to change the leader of their party AGAIN! I mean c’mon, we vote every three years for this right and we do NOT like that right being stripped away from us at a moments notice. How COULD they do this to us? We are a democracy after all! Well no actually, we aren’t. The only thing we have a right to do is to go to polling booths around the country and vote in representatives, and then they get to decide who the leader is. Therefore, if you have a problem with the Coalition (or the ALP) changing leaders half way through a term in government, write, text, tweet, call or go and see your local member and complain to them. While changing Prime Ministers is a big deal, one could argue that the aftermath of this particular leadership spill will have long lasting and even more interesting effects on the current political climate. Tony Abbott became infamous for only having one female in cabinet and it seems Turnbull listened when we called bullshit, opting to keep Julie Bishop as Foreign Affairs Minister and promoting four more women into cabinet. Perhaps the biggest Cabinet change—and one we all expected—was the removal of Joe Hockey as Treasurer. What many did not expect however was the announcement of his resignation from Parliament—and probable elevation to a high-ranking position in Washington/London/Rome. Other MPs who were ousted from Cabinet include Eric Abetz, Ian Macfarlane and Bruce Billson. Interestingly, Turnbull decided to dump Kevin Andrews in favour of Senator Marise Payne as Defence Minister (who is the first woman to hold the job) and appoint Kelly O’Dwyer as Minister for Small Business and Assistant Treasurer. Michaelia Cash is now the Minister for Women, Employment and Minister Assisting the Prime Minister for the Public Service, and Fiona Nash has

given up Assistant Health Minister for the job of Rural Health Minister. Notably a number of South Australian MP’s have also been included in the new cabinet line-up, including Senators Simon Birmingham, Anne Ruston and Jamie Briggs, with Christopher Pyne no longer Education Minister but rather Minister for Industry, Innovation and Science. Since winning the Liberal leadership back in 2009, Tony Abbott made it his mission to get his party back into government. As an Opposition Leader he was ruthless and worked relentlessly trying to hold the government of the time to account. Unfortunately it seems he simply could not make the transition from alternative government leader to actual government leader, and that folks was the reason for his downfall. Turnbull, so far, has made it is his job to explain and educate the Australian public on the choices he has made. Question Time has and will continue to be interesting as he tries to walk the line between parliament theatre and wanting to enlighten people on what the government is doing in what he calls this new ‘twenty-first century government’. When the dust settles, when MYEFO (Mid Year Economic and Fiscal Outlook) is released later this year, when thoughts turn back to government business, and Turnbull settles in his downsized accommodation in The Lodge/ Kirribilli House, it will be then that his real job will start. With an election less than a year away, the clock is ticking for him to convince the public that he is indeed the right man for the job. So please, before the honeymoon is over, raise you glasses and toast ‘long live our new PM, Malcolm Turnbull!’

AUTHOR Laura Telford, 20, Bachelor of Arts (High Achievers) Laura needs more Leadership spills in her life.

VO Q.

1. Red Velvet 2. Cactus

3. Zapdos

4. One horse-sized duck

1.IF YOU COULD BE ANY TYPE OF CAKE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? 2. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SUCCULENT? 3. MOLTRES, ARTICUNO OR ZAPDOS? 4. WOULD YOU RATHER FIGHT A HUNDRED DUCK-SIZED HORSES OR ONE HORSE-SIZED DUCK? 5. WHICH WORLD LEADER WOULD YOU RATHER SLEEP WITH AND WHY? 6.WHAT’S YOUR BEST PUN? 1. Chocolate

1. Lava Cake

2. Flowering one

2. Cactus

3. Zapdos

3. Moltres

4. One horse-sized duck

5. Vladimir Putin, 4. 100 duck-sized horses 5. Barack Obama, ‘cos he because Russians are has cool ears. good in bed and they pay 5. Not sure. for the drinks! 6. I moustache you a 6. question but I’m shaving 6. Supena Colada it for later.

Sara

Stephan

katie

2. Lettuce, yep 3. Zapdos

4. Why fight when you can negotiate, I assume it would probably be easier negotiating with a single horse-sized duck than a hundred duck-sized horses. Horses cannot be negotiated 1. Lemon Cheesecake with any way. So yep, I’ll go 2. Agave with the duck. 5. Uummmm....probably the Philosorapter because no reason.

3. Zapdos

1. Cheesecake 2. Aloe vera 3. Moltres

4. 100 duck-sized horses. 4. One horse-sized duck

6. I’m kinda finding it difficult 5. Croatian Prime to think of anything punny. Minister HAHAHA yeah, seriously, I 6. That’s very punny! can’t think of anything.

george

pop

X O 1. Chocolate cake, because, yeah...

edward

5. Barack Obama, cause he’s black. 6. That’s very punny

tiana

25 25

Melanie Oppenheimer Melanie Oppenheimer is a professor in the School of International Relations and History. Having come to Flinders University fairly recently, she has quickly made a name for herself as one of Flinders Best Teachers. She sat down with ET editor Laura Telford for a chat about what makes her a teacher so many students love.

It is not very often you can claim your history professor used to be a professional actress, created a podcast series, was a school teacher, an opinion writer, and a highly decorated historian, but Melanie insists that she ‘has always loved what [she] has done’ at different periods of her life. She had always enjoyed history at school and was ‘always surrounded by people who worked in the field’ but she ‘fell in love with acting’ while completing a BA as an undergraduate, when UNE [University of New England] opened a drama department. From there she went to drama school in the United Kingdom and acted professionally for a few years. Melanie spent two years working on the Crawford Productions Carsons Law but decided to go back to her first love of history so she ‘could use [her] brain’. At that point she went back to university, completing a Masters and PhD and ‘it went on from there’. Melanie says she didn’t really intend to go into academia and that she simply ‘fell into it’. That said, when Melanie puts her mind to anything, she has proven time and time again that anything is possible. Melanie says ‘there were moments when I could have walked away and done something else’, but one thing she is particularly interested in is how history is used on film. ‘I have always been really interested in documentary film making and trying to allow history to be credited on film’. This is something that many Australians have seen firsthand, particularly this year in the centenary year of the Gallipoli campaign. She goes on to assert that ‘[film] is how students learn these days’, which is why Melanie sees documentary film making as such an important vehicle in which to learn. ‘As historians I think we need to be engaged with that medium so that we can try to tell history the best we can. I think there are a lot of documentaries out there that are crap and that is why we need to be a part’ of its making, so that students can see film as a useful tool for teaching. Melanie has done just that and she was the historical consultant on the successful WWII documentary that screened on ABC in 2011 Girls’ Own War Stories. Moreover, Melanie says she ‘still has things [I] wants to say [and through film and other ways] I can do that’. Good historians, she says, always have something more they want to say. Melanie currently holds the Chair of History within the School of History and International Relations. Her research areas include the role of voluntary organisations and the history of volunteering and voluntary action, with a particular interest in wartime. This passion stems from the days when Melanie was trying to come

up with a thesis topic while at university, acknowledging that it was all thanks to her grandmother and an item of clothing: ‘I was digging through trunks in the attic and came across these overalls which fitted me perfectly, and started wearing them’. Her mum told her they were her grandmothers World War II overalls. Melanie says her grandmother was a ‘Red Cross VAD [Voluntary Aid Detachment] who served on the British aircraft carrier Glory and she spent three months sailing around the Pacific, picking up ex-prisoners of war’. It was Melanie’s grandmother’s efforts, and the efforts of people just like her on which she based her thesis. Melanie says that during the Second World War women made up just over 32% of the paid workforce ‘and that was great’, but she speculates what was the rest doing? ‘They were doing unpaid labour and volunteer war work’. It has only been in recent times that researchers have become interested in volunteering and it is an area of increasing importance, ‘increasingly the barriers of [paid and unpaid work] are being blurred, particularly with unpaid internships and apprenticeships’ Melanie stated. Furthermore ‘when people retire, they are increasingly turning to volunteer work’ to keep busy; and that is where research such as hers is needed.

“

‘I had to rethink the way I taught 19th century Australian history because I am suddenly in a state where it is not all about convicts or the origins of 1788. South Australian history starts a lot later and has a very different perspective’.

”

When asked what her favourite class to teach is, Melanie says both her first year introduction to Australian history topic and her third year history topic that focuses on migration to Australia in the 20th century have been fun to teach. However when she moved from NSW to take up the Chair in History at Flinders in SA, she had to radically change the way she went about teaching the introduction course. ‘I had to rethink the way I taught 19th century Australian history because I am suddenly in a state where it is not all about convicts or the origins of 1788. South Australian history [of white settlement] starts a lot later and has a very different perspective’. However, she says it was a positive experience because ‘I hate teaching the same stuff’. Melanie also adds that teaching the first years is always nice because they are ‘fresh and new’. Conversely however, ‘by second semester of third year, students know why they are here, they know what they have

to do, and they are only taking the course because the want to’ which she says is fantastic. With a smile, Melanie says the best thing about teaching is ‘the responsiveness of students, and being able to share a passion with them. I like people learning and I love the lightbulb moments students have’ when concepts and ideas all come together. On the flipside, laughing she says the ‘endless marking’ is the worst part of her role. On a serious note however, she says it is the ‘students who don’t care or who aren’t interested, or who I can’t get to care. Sometimes a student doesn’t know why they are in a class, and that is fine but if you are unhappy, withdraw before the deadline, you pay a lot of money to be here’ and if this isn’t for you ‘go and find what makes you happy’. Melanie has been called ‘seriously interesting and friendly’ as well as ‘an excellent teacher who makes boring classes fun’ by her students. Ever gracious, when told that students had voted her one of the uni’s best teachers, Melanie says ‘I’m stunned. I have only been at Flinders for two years and only teach a few classes but I’m thrilled and surprised.’ As students, we can forget that our professors are people as well, when asked about how she juggles classes and a work/social life Melanie says ‘it can be a struggle, but … I make a plan and stick to it. When I have a deadline I get up at 5am to write. I think about what I write and about what I do a lot and I love it. So I make time for it; if you make time for something you will get something out of it’. Outside of teaching, Melanie has a school aged child so seeing her through her education is a big part of her life. In addition, she confesses ‘I love going to the theatre, I love snow skiing and I love travelling’ and her guilty pleasure is a ‘good cup of coffee’. Finally, her best advice for students is to find something you love, always be open to new adventures and take the path less trodden, listen to those older and wiser in your life, and ‘always finish what you start and don’t worry about money; it will all fall into place eventually.’ INTERVIEWEE Melanie Oppenheimer Melanie needs for discipline in her life.

little ‘ol

Boring Adelaide... Life is expensive. Food, rent, phones, textbooks, bus tickets, that new pair of jeans that you just had to have—it all costs money. Don’t despair though, there are still a few things that you can do right here in little old Adelaide that are free (or at least pretty cheap) to entertain yourself during the summer months. The list below outlines just 10 things that you might consider doing over your break. 1. Immerse yourself in some cultural activities along North Terrace. The Museum and Art Gallery are places that I used to associate with primary school excursions, and while it’s true, they are tailored to entertain children, they do have exhibits and points of interest for

NOT anymore the young and old alike. The Museum is open from 10 til 5 daily, and not only does it contain some of the old favourites—dinosaurs, Aboriginal art, animals—there is also usually a temporary exhibition, highlighting something unique and diverse. At the moment it’s opals, although you will have to pay a little bit to see that one. The Art Gallery, like the museum, is completely free, and again is open from 10 til 5 daily. With over 38,000 pieces of art, (although it does not stand up to some of the galleries of Europe), it highlights some pretty incredible pieces of art from around the world. 2. Wonder through some of Adelaide’s

quirky and diverse markets. From the Central Market in the city, to the Farmers Market held at the Showgrounds every Sunday, markets are a good way to sample local produce, look at unique and handmade goods, and really support the local economy. Mostly held on weekends, markets are a good way to spend a leisurely Sunday morning with friends or family. 3. Eat fish and chips at sunset on the beach. We’re lucky in Adelaide to have access to so many impressive beaches, so this summer why not pick one and watch the sunset while enjoying your fish and chips or ice cream? From Hallet Cove, to Henley to Glenelg, all of our beaches have

a good atmosphere, and are great places to simply breathe in nature and unwind after a busy semester at uni. 4. Day trip to Victor Harbour. Take a trip down to the Fleurieu Peninsula. Goolwa, Middleton, Port Elliot and Victor Harbour are all worth a visit during the summer months. From walks on the beach, surfing, long lunches and general summer vibes, the Fleurieu Peninsula has something for everyone. Don’t forget to stop at the iconic Port Elliot bakery on your way down to enjoy delicious pastries and mouthwatering cakes. 5. Climb Mount Lofty. Although many shudder at the thought, what better way to stay fit and healthy over the Christmas period than climb Mount Lofty and take in the simply breathtaking views? The Waterfall Gully to Mount Lofty hike is just under 4km for the round trip, and it’s something that you brag about to your lazy friends. While you’re up at Mount Lofty (or maybe at another time when you are not so exhausted), why not checkout the beautiful Mount Lofty Botanic Gardens? Beautiful gardens, wildlife, what’s not to love? 6. Drive up to Lobethal and look at the Christmas lights. Get into the Christmas spirit and go take a look at the Lobethal lights. Starting on the 13th of December, and running until the 30th of December, the lights are truly magical. House after house is decorated in extraordinary displays of Christmas festivities, and everyone really gets into the Christmas spirit. It really is something that is not to be missed.

7. Get back to nature at the Botanic Gardens. The Adelaide Botanic Gardens are simply breathtaking. Gorgeous flowers, native plants and trees, it is the perfect place to take a picnic and enjoy the beautiful ambiance of the gardens with friends or family. It is also a fantastic place to simply take a walk and have a look at the three glasshouses: the Palm House, the Bicentennial Conservatory and the Amazon Waterlily Pavilion.

endless, and it can all be done for almost no money at all!

8. Watch a leg of the Tour Down Under. The internationally recognised bike race, starting on the 16th of January until the 24th of January is an event that brings so much atmosphere and hype to the city. The race involves sections that take place across a variety of different locations, including McLaren Vale, Unley, Norwood and the CBD. There is also the tour Village, set up in Victoria Square, as well as the King William Road Street Party. With so much to see and do, why not make a day of it, and spend some time cheering on the cyclists?

There are so many things to do and see in Adelaide, so why not explore your own backyard? It doesn’t have to cost a lot, in fact, as you can see, it can be quite cheap, so there is really no excuse. For more events and activities in Adelaide, visit weekendnotes.com/adelaide.

9. Spend the day exploring the Adelaide Hills. The Adelaide Hills have so much to offer, so why not explore some of the hidden gems that are right on our door step? Enjoy the big Rocking Horse at Gumeracha, taste some wine at one of the many wineries, explore the German history of Hahndorf and have a pie at the Woodside bakery. The possibilities are

10. Head in the other direction and visit McLaren Vale. McLaren Vale is a world famous wine region, and it is only a short car journey from where we are at Flinders Uni. As well as being able to visit a multitude of wineries, McLaren Vale is also home to some quirky art galleries, cafés and gift shops, which are well worth a look.

AUTHOR Sarah Barrett, 20, Bachelor of Teaching (Secondary) and Bachelor of Arts Sarah needs more spontaneity in her life

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SEPTEMBER SPECTACLES: These are a Few of my Favourite Things I love September. I love that you can feel when it’s changing to spring. In the last week of August, I had my window open late at night for my cat (I have a cat flap in my window—crazy cat lady alert), and as I was listening to the breeze and breathing in the night air, one thing popped into my head: ‘it feels like the start of September’. And then I realised, quite suddenly, that September was under a week away. When did that even happen?! There are several things that I associate September with; later sunsets, warm evenings with windows open, the sound of wind gently rustling the trees, and the smell of golden wattle. Above all, however, September means The Royal Adelaide Show. If my memory serves me right, I’ve been to the Show at least once every year since 2006. Due to this, I’ve noticed a lot of changes over the years, from what interests people, to how those interests change as they age, to the money involved in pursuing those interests. I clearly remember whilst growing up, the only things my friends cared about were the rides and showbags—nothing else was of any interest to them. Some liked the animals as well, but they were mostly an afterthought. While I loved the showbags, I was one of those kids that hated rides, which meant that my friends always thought I was no fun. When you’re older, that expectation for you to like rides isn’t there—your friends don’t think it’s the be-all and end-all. Year six was the first and last time I went on rides at the Show and the two I went on were probably a bad idea for a first time rider; the Mad Mouse and the Crazy Coaster. To be honest, I’m surprised I even qualified for the rides on account of my height; I don’t think I’ve grown since I turned thirteen. Height aside, I remember the Crazy Coaster to be very tame in comparison to the Mad Mouse, but it was quite jerky. On the Mad Mouse, only two words came out of my mouth, repeated for the entire ride: ‘Jesus Christ’. Safe to say I stuck to putting balls in clowns’ mouths (not that I was very good at that either) and plucking ducks after that slightly traumatising experience. Similar to other kids, however, I also disliked having to walk around and look at all the stalls and displays in the pavilions that my parents wanted to see. One reason for this was due to my little legs (not that they’re really any longer now) not being able to cope with all the walking, and second was because who wants to look at cakes you can’t even eat when there are hundreds of cats and dogs you could be petting? Well, ‘present me’ would do all of the above because I can now appreciate Game of Thrones themed wedding cakes (Red Wedding anyone?) and I still look like I’m going to pee my pants when I see a cute dog. People change as they grow up and so do their tastes and interests. While I still don’t like rides, I’m now able to appreciate the art and craft items and enjoy going through all the pavilions (even the ones that don’t involve food) that I dragged my feet

about before. In fact, seeing everything in the pavilions is one of the main reasons I go. Despite these adult attractions, when I mention how excited I am to go to the Show, I often get told how ‘kiddy’ it is. There are, however, so many aspects of the Show that are not just for kids, but you are unable to understand this until you go as an adult. Showbags, which used to be the pinnacle of the Show as a child, no longer catch your eye the way they used to. As a kid, my parents used to give my brothers and I $20 to spend at the Show. We had to decide whether we spent it on rides, showbags, sideshow stalls, or a combination of the three, but that $20 was all we got (plus any pocket money we may have had saved up). I remember I used to spend the weeks leading up to the Show pouring over the showguide, carefully planning where every dollar would go, and having the tough decision of choosing between the numerous showbags on offer. Nowadays, what with the inflated prices of showbags and attractions alike, $20 wouldn’t get a child far. At the same time however, this year I stuck to the conventional ways of my childhood and spent exactly $20 on showbags ($15 if you don’t include the Bertie Beetle showbag for my parents). This was partly because old habits die hard, but also because there weren’t really any that made me say ‘I’m not leaving without that’. In total, I spent $100 at the Show this year and I’m not entirely sure where it all went. I do know that the majority of it went on food, because that shit is expensive. If I had spent weeks planning like I used to however, I know that I could still have had a good time on a much lower budget. That said, being a full time student and working part-time doesn’t leave much room for a whole lot of social outings, or the money needed for them—you take what you can and be thankful for it. From all my Show experience over the years, I have truly come to know what the most important aspect is. Showbags are a bonus, night time views of the rides and fireworks make you appreciate those specific moments in time, artwork makes you marvel at the talent some people hold, and rides make your gut drop while also filling you with admiration for other people’s guts. But the most important part is the people you go with; those who turn pretty lights into an instance of gorgeous, stunning explosions where, for that precise moment, you are content with everything.

AUTHOR Tamsin Alexander, 20, Bachelor of Behavioural Science Tamsin needs more time in her life.

ARTIST Sheydin Dew

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Being a Global Citizen It was a provoking question that came up in the International Network Universities (INU) Master’s Summer School on Global Citizenship and Peace in Hiroshima, Japan, 3-11th August, 2015. Honestly, at first, I had no idea about being a global citizen. One thing that I knew at the time was the idea of global citizenship being too abstract to be achieved; something far beyond me. The analogy circulated by Peter Singer, an Australian philosopher, about ‘the shallow pond’ and ‘the envelope’ came in the first introduction about the idea of global citizenship at the event. Explaining the first analogy Singer gave his students a situation which involved a student named John, who, while on his way to university one morning, noticed a child had fallen and appeared to be drowning in a shallow pond. Helping this child would mean that his clothes would get wet and muddy, meaning that if John went home and changed clothes, he would miss his first class. Singer then asked his students whether, based on this analogy, they had obligations to rescue that child or not. The students unanimously agreed that the importance of saving the child’s life surpassed the cost of getting John’s clothes muddy and missing a class. However, another analogy of ‘the envelope’ described a situation in which people received a letter from UNICEF which appealed to them to contribute $100 of their own money to help starving children. After reading the letter, they threw it in their wastebasket and, although aware of the situation, they send nothing. Both analogies are familiar to us. The way we react to something bad happening is unlikely to be the same depending on whether it happened in front of us or beyond our reach. Singer pointed out that ‘if it is in our power to prevent something bad from happening, without thereby sacrificing anything of comparable moral importance, we ought, morally, to do it.’ However, on the second analogy, we have a different reaction. We assume that since donating money is regarded as charity, there is nothing wrong with not giving. Moreover, we are sceptical beings and, as such, we are not sure that our donation will really get to the people who need it. It appears, then, that we tend to show care in the situations in which we are present but failing this, we often feel too detached from the situation that happened beyond our reach. The idea of global citizenship is basically ensuring that we are part of a global world. We cannot choose where we were born, we cannot choose our colour and race, but all of us have the same responsibility to create a just world. As said by Bikhu Parekh, Professor of Political Philosophy, ‘we are similar in dissimilar ways or human in our own unique manner’. Parekh raised the idea of a globally oriented citizen; that our citizenship has an inescapable global dimension in which we have moral obligations to our fellow citizens as well as to those in distant parts of the world. According to Parekh, globally oriented citizens are different from global or cosmopolitan citizens. The latter is considered an impractical concept because it ignores special ties and attachments to one political community. For Parekh, we can be an effective, globally oriented citizen by ‘energising our national citizenship’ and having strong ties with the community, meaning we can protest when leaders behave badly or creates injustice in other countries. Parekh raised three important ideas that can be utilised as globally oriented citizens. First, constantly examining our own country’s policies and ensuring that they do not ruin the interest of humanity in other countries. Second, actively addressing other countries’ affairs and mobilising international public opinion or protests if their governments engage in human rights violations. Third, working together with many friends around the world to create a just world order in the spirit of mutual concern.

On top of that, whether we agree with Parekh and his term globally oriented citizenship or still agree with global citizenship or cosmopolitanism, the sense of responsibility for the interest of humankind is the primary issue we should be concerned about as global citizens. We have this responsibility because most of us contribute to structural injustice, although in different ways; especially if we are apathetic with the world around us. Furthermore, as argued by Iris Marion Young, Professor of Political Science, responsibility is shared through collective action. By raising the idea of ‘political responsibility’, She explained the possibility of being responsible for something that we only indirectly or unintentionally helped to create and sustain. Young mentioned three obligations regarding our responsibility: learning our role in the structural injustice; lessening of unjust world in the future; and acting collectively. Therefore, the next question is: what should we do collectively? There are so many problems around us that emerge from structural injustice. But sometimes we ignore them as something that is not our business nor something that affects our lives. For instance, the development of nuclear weapons or the fate of asylum seekers. As one of the various learning methods in global citizenship, INU Summer School offered the opportunity to attend a Peace Memorial Ceremony to commemorate the dropping of the atomic bomb in Hiroshima on the 6th August 1945. We also had the opportunity to visit the Peace Memorial Museum and attend the Lantern Ceremony. All of these activities essentially reminded us about the effects of human-made disaster in world history. By experiencing this, we realised how innocent people—most of whom were children and women—became the victims of the atomic bomb’s destruction and cruelty. It may have ended the war at the time but it did not end the agony of the victims—their pain compounded by discrimination and prejudice throughout the rest of their lives. However, the call for the abolishment of nuclear weapons has been, for the most part, ignored and the reality is a large number of nuclear weapons exist in the world and continue to threaten humanity. The 2015 Review Conference of the Parties to the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons (NPT) failed to agree on denuclearisation in the Middle East. Unsurprisingly, in the Peace Declaration that was declared by the Mayor of the City of Hiroshima, it said ‘President Obama and other policymakers, please come to the A-bombed cities, hear the hibakusha (survivors of the atomic bombings) with your own ears, and encounter the reality of the atomic bombings. Surely, you will be impelled to start discussing a legal framework, including a nuclear weapons convention.’ All of these facts bring about the question; are we still thinking these issues are not our business? Am I responsible for changing the world? Yes, I am. We can all do something that will have impact beyond our limits. In the social media era, the case is not only about ‘the envelope’ that comes to you, but the facts that you read and see every minute on your social media accounts. In addition, the power of the internet can unite us and collectively make the walk toward peace, a process which is possible as long as we have the willingness to do so. It is no longer you and I, but we. It is no longer yours, but ours. We only have one world so let us find strength together. AUTHOR Lidya Singa, 31, Master of International Relations. Lydia needs more guts and pens. in her life.

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The Dodecahedron

The night is as still as it has ever been: pitch black and moonless, starless, and without as much as a zephyr to whisper on the grass, motionless. Only the continuous, jittery hum made by the engine of the evening’s penultimate bus manages to dampen the piercing silence which looms out in the impenetrable blackness like some bestial entity stalking its prey. David sits roughly in the middle of the great steel caterpillar’s belly as it lurches and chugs along the empty road, staring gormlessly at the wall of darkness beyond, through the scratched window of the safe little bubble that is the vehicle’s well-lit interior. He glances down to the innocent-looking parcel sitting nonchalantly in his lap. When he had plucked it from the mountain of undeliverable packages in the dead letter office at his work, it had been nothing more than a small, brown box fastened with twine, but even then it had somehow called to him as if he was the intended recipient all along. With the care and dexterity of a surgeon, he tentatively lifts the folds of the box to take stock of the contents. For the thousandth time since he had first torn open the thick, brown paper, he beholds the peculiar object that now drives his obsession. It doesn’t look like much at first glance, this...thing. A small, silvery-gray dodecahedron, with unusual swirling patterns brushed into the surface, catching the light in such an odd way. No more than about four inches side-to-side. It sounds hollow, but is much heavier than it should be. When he touches it he feels a spark strike from his fingertips and a chill rush down his spine, and when he places his ear to it he can hear a faint murmur—like a tiny voice muffled almost to the point of complete inaudibility, mumbling to itself. He spent so

many sleepless nights straining his ears and his mind to try and hear what is being said, only to fail to catch even a single articulate syllable.

and featureless. His hands then fumble to check the interior, but all it contains is dust, as though it has held nothing else for years.

There is a note. He might have gone insane trying to figure out the object’s existence if not for the note that he found tucked beneath it when he first opened the box. The note gives him hope. The note is his doorway to understanding.

Disheartened, David wonders for a minute if this is all there is. If this is why the box came to him, just to be delivered here, and he was simply meant to leave the package and go back to his life—back to the post office and its dead letter department; his grand purpose, such as it is. But no—David has tasted a deeper mystery now. Something lurking beneath the bitterly banal veneer of the world: Something wonderful. He would not go back. He could not. Not now. Besides, the next bus is still almost an hour away.

It looks like it was written decades ago, scratched onto aged and yellowing paper in a frantic, shaky scrawl of black ink; simply a jumble of numbers, followed by the words ‘please don’t’ and a name that had been scratched out, leaving it sadly illegible. The paper is jagged along one edge, suggesting it was torn from a larger body. It had taken him weeks to figure out what the numbers meant, nearly costing him his job at the post office in the process, but his effort and dedication were finally rewarded with latitude, longitude, a time and the number of a bus-stop. Closing the box, he looks away and rubs his weary eyes, aching from trying so hard to find some trace of scenery in the void where the roadside belongs. His head turns to observe all the empty, puce-coloured seats abound him. Looking ahead, past the quiet, corpulent old curmudgeon he has for a driver, his heart momentarily lightens to see the first landmark he has seen for what feels like miles. If he recalls correctly, the final bus would not come for another hour. He quickly reaches for the bell, signaling his intent to get off at the next stop—illuminated by a single dim, sickly-orange streetlight desperately in need of a new bulb—and is rewarded by an ear-shattering ding! that makes his temples throb. With an almost imperceptible start and a muffled grunt from the driver, the bus gives a cough as it struggles to a halt a few meters from the streetlight, before its doors unceremoniously swing open with a graceless jerk. Standing slowly, David cautiously moves into the isle as if afraid the bus might give another jolt, before swiftly regaining the confidence in his stride as he heads for the exit, and steps out into the night without so much as a nod to his chauffeur. He startles at how quickly the shaky old bus lurches away, as its taillights vanish in the distance and a childlike sense of abandonment suddenly grips the pit of his stomach at being left all alone in such a desolate place. Doing his best to shrug off his jitters, he takes a deep breath and clutches tight the parcel under his arm to remind him of his mission, setting forth into the smothering murk in search of answers. Within the next few minutes or so of stalking through the gloom and wishing for a flashlight, David finally stumbles across a disused mailbox. Literally. ‘Jesus, fuck!’ He curses loudly as his shin collides with the short, metal obelisk. A mailbox? David’s heart practically slams into his ribs, as his mind reels with the notion that this could have been the strange parcel’s intended destination. Almost completely blinded by the dark, he feels around the face of the letterbox for some sign of numbers—or even an address—but finds it cold

Turning away from the paved road, the soles of his shoes inform him of a thin, disused path marked by the mailbox, leading away from the road. Using the faint outline of the gnarled trees that line either side as his guiding reference, he slowly, tentatively begins to follow the narrow track into the unknown—one trembling footfall at a time. After an uncounted stretch of time, he moves further and further from the warm glow of the now-distant streetlight. The darkness grows so thick and intense it almost seems to become a tangible, inky substance, like the area has been blanketed in vaporised tar, and David’s resolve falters a little more with each step. By the time he finally turns around to go back, the speck of orange light seems to have blinked out entirely, leaving him with no point of reference. Panicking, David frantically looks around, but finds nothing familiar and quickly becomes disorientated. On all sides he can see nothing but blackness and the faint, ominous outline of dead, leafless trees. Even the path he has followed to this point seems to have blended into the ground beneath his feet, robbing him of any remaining sense of placement. With a growing sense of fear, isolation and desperation racing through his mind, he starts to run, decidedly determined not to remain in one place for long. After what could be hours or mere moments in the dark—as lethargy begins to creep into his joints and his lungs start to burn—David finally reaches a point where he can see a surprisingly bright glow looming just over the slope of a steep hill. The light paints a grey, clouded sky with pale bluish streaks, and casts a disquieting outline on the densely wooded landscape he finds himself amidst. With the world thus illuminated in such an eerie and ungainly way, physical reality somehow begins to seem almost like a dream. He can hear the whispers from the dodecahedron all around him, but still cannot make sense of the muttering, rambling noise. Strangely it feels as though he’s looking at himself from a distance—his mind suddenly a faraway observer, watching his shining, trembling body walking through such perfect stillness, where even his footsteps seem to have lost their audible tone. Like walking through a surreal painting—almost two-dimensional in bleak and absolute contrast—in which the brush strokes that form the desiccated foliage hide all but the vaguest hint of a daunting world unseen; as though the canvas had once

held a macabre vision that caused the very artist to despair, and so cover their previous nightmarish work with this bitter rendition of the natural world. The more he attempts to quicken his step along the thin path, the more sluggish yet strangely graceful his movement seems to become, as though tiny, invisible creatures pull at his heels and slow his joints—trying to trap him there as the stunned, unwilling centerpiece in this unwholesome image. A slight movement at the base of a nearby tree catches his eye and his attention quickly snaps to study the tiny stirrings. At first his fear-addled brain fails to translate what his sight is recording, but after a moment of staring he sees the corpse of a foraging animal—not unlike a fox—its fur matted, eyes glazed and milky, and a gaping, bloodless gash across its abdomen. He thinks little of it, but as he watches the poor creature suddenly moves, lifting its lop-sided head to chew at its own grey guts. He stops, overcome with revulsion, and the second he does so the creature looks directly at him. ‘Darkness. Consumes.’ A deep, distorted voice suddenly cracks from its rotted jaws. Horrified, David tries to turn and run away, but his body refuses to respond—feeling as though mired in mud, until he tries to continue forwards and finds himself miraculously free to continue. The beast happily returns to its feast of dry, soft entrails. Terrified, but with only the way ahead, he strains to push onwards, passing more creatures of the wood—all animate dead, all mindlessly gnawing at their own decaying flesh: Hares, foxes, birds and all. Eventually he finds himself a mere handful of paces from a large hole in the middle of the ground—a void from which no light escapes, seemingly endless. He hadn’t seen it approaching, but it seems to be the center of this awful place, as he hears the blackness of the hole echoing back the mournful, inarticulate whispers he had first heard from the polygonal object he carries. Trembling, David takes the parcel from under his arm and tears open the box, taking out the dodecahedron and holding it out over the gaping well. Before his wide, tearing eyes he can almost see the darkness of the pit clawing for the object, and without a moment’s pause he casts the dodecahedron into the heart of the terrible, tangible dark—

opening his mouth wide to give a soundless, breathless cry as he does. In that very instant that the darkness claims its prize, either reality or his vision blurs and runs together, like turpentine has suddenly been cast over the painting of his surroundings. He finally finds the little point of orange light sitting in the distance, warmly calling him back to the brightness of the world, and his legs cannot carry him fast enough as he rushes for the bus-stop, overcome with the relief of once more being able to hear his own footsteps and ride spluttering bus. As though it had been a dream, the memory of his peculiar and nightmarish jaunt from the bus stop to that unknown vision of Hell begins to seep from his memory like oil pouring through a sieve, leaving behind only hazy traces and the uneasy notion that something just isn’t quite right with the world. Shaking off the tempest of his thoughts as he arrives at the stop, he takes a seat at the foot of the light-post and checks his watch. Still ten minutes to the final bus, after a journey that seemed to take days. He should have just used that damn mailbox. He looks down at his hand and finds he’s still clutching the torn ball of stale old cardboard that had been the parcel—the sole evidence that his traumatic experience was anything more than an odd, terrible delusion. Rummaging through the scraps he finds the note, and its perplexing message of ‘please don’t’… … And then he finds the other half, stuck between the folds of the package all along. Slowly, he turns the ripped half over to read ‘let the darkness have the dodecahedron’. Placing the two halves together, David’s blood runs cold, and just then the orange light above his head flickers out.

AUTHOR Luke Corish, 27, Bachelor of Medical Science Luke’s life needs more Harley Quinn.

ARTIST Benjamin Hall

PO R ET Y mY MORNING ALARM

Beep-beep-beep. With the alarm comes the Smell of coffee And morning dew. Ahead is nine hours of Clean, serve, and smile. Clean, serve, and smile. Clean, serve, and smile. It’s so close, I can see the finish line Sparkling — it’s something that’s hard to miss, It is easy to slip away Calling me, saying that I can do this, Into a world of whimsy. And that soon, freedom will again be mine. All I need to do is clean, serve, smile. It is mindless. Robotic. It is inspiring, triumphant — strong. These papers scattered, it’s all in my mind — It is the beep-beep-beep. At the top of each paper, my name’s signed; Of my morning alarm. Complete word counts say it won’t be too long.

THE FINISH LINE

That sweet rejoice when a paper is in Carries on to the next, finished so soon; I fought the temptation to sleep till noon; At university, it’s hardly sin.

— Kayla Gaskell

It’s so close, I can see the finish line — It’s oh so soon that freedom will be mine! — J.R. Koop

MY FATHER’S EYES

I am intriguing, unpredictable, I am a mystery My father watches, he has love in his heart

I run fast, change directions, I change my mind My father watches, he has knowledge in his heart I stumble, rise, I stumble again My father watches, he has hope in his heart

I make mistakes, fall, I make the same mistakes again My father watches, he has disappointment in his heart He lays there, on a crunchy hospital bed, his boat I watch, I have love in my heart He moves not, drugs are swimming in his veins I watch, I have knowledge in my heart They say two days, he is ok, he is not in pain I watch, I have hope in my heart He dreams he is floating, on his dream river I watch, I have regret in my heart

He opens his eyes, he resigns, the anchor rope lets loose I watch, with my father’s eyes, the glittery waters that await. Lee Salvemini

SINKING SHIPS

They love each other like they’re sinking ships, Swallowing them whole after crashing blows — And yet somehow the love within them glows, Captured in moments of soft, meeting lips.

Their bodies meet like the towering waves Of the ocean, ready to devour All those out at sea upon midnight’s hour — And pull them down to their watery graves. Sea’s jagged rocks colliding with the bow... A kraken’s embrace, a lover’s caress... All this love — forcing a sailor’s distress — So to them the sea’s threat would be a vow. These lovers could make the world fall apart With a single shared beat of their cold hearts. — J.R. Koop 37

- Fiction -

[TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE] Kara Hammond smirked as she read the online article. Good riddance to her. It was about Abbey Page, a girl from her uni class who had recently committed suicide. The journalist had described Abbey as another innocent victim of cyberbullying. Kara, however, knew of the evil behind those sapphire eyes and blonde curls. They had once been friends, back in first year, and before Kara stole Abbey’s crush. Abbey had constantly called Kara a sweaty nerd with shit for brains because of her interest in gaming. Kara tried to fight back, but Abbey’s friends always got involved and made the bullying worse. Going to the authorities didn’t help either; Abbey would put on a sweet face around the counsellors and turn it back onto Kara. Annoyed with the lack of action, Kara turned to her followers on Tumblr and Twitter and told them about the bullying. She bent

the truth to her liking and included some of Abbey’s wall-posts as evidence. Within three days, Abbey had received thousands of posts on her Tumblr and Twitter accounts, all of which condemned her for bullying. Kara believed it was those death threats from internet trolls that eventually drove Abbey to suicide. It might’ve been a little extreme, but at least Abbey would never bother her again. Kara clicked out of the article and decided to play a game to wind down. It’d certainly be more relaxing than turning around to watch the rest of Flight of the Conchords, which she’d seen a thousand times before. A pop from the Steam messenger came through her headphones as she was in midst of Cities: Skylines. She ignored it and continued to play. Another pop came through, this time from Facebook. Again, she ignored it. A pop from Skype soon followed. Kara’s eyebrows twitched; the pops were interfering with her

“

- Fiction -

creativity. She left her game, and opened the Steam messenger. What she read made ice spikes shoot through her blood vessels.

stopped and she was left in peace. She took a deep breath. It would be a while before she even thought about turning it on again.

The message was from a Steam account she thought would never appear again; Abbey’s.

‘You’re going to have to try harder than that to stop me.’ Abbey’s voice came from behind her.

Did you miss me? No,’ said Kara, ‘it can’t be her.’ She left the Steam messenger and went to Facebook. Again the message was from Abbey’s account. Did you miss me?

Kara broke into gooseflesh and resisted the urge to turn around. Abbey spoke again. ‘Oi, shit for brains, behind you.’ Still she resisted. She could picture Abbey’s face inside her TV, glaring at her with those sapphire eyes.

Kara shivered. ‘It can’t be her.’ She checked Skype. It was Abbey again. The same four words. Kara’s hands shook as she responded. This has to be some kind of sick joke. A reply was almost instant. It came through all her open messengers. Oh but it’s not. How could Abbey be doing this? Kara bit her fingers and tasted blood. Abbey was dead, she couldn’t possibly be communicating with her.

Abbey’s face appeared in the computer screen. Kara’s eyes widened. Abbey’s lower lip was gone, as was some of the skin on her forehead. Worms and bugs emerged from the gaping mess of skin, muscle, and tendons that were once her cheeks. Abbey gave a crooked smile. ‘Did you really think switching off your computer would stop me from getting to you? You really are a stupid nerd.’ ‘You’re not real,’ said Kara. ‘You’re just my mind playing tricks on me.’

Did you miss me, Kara?

‘Am I now? So it’s just your head doing this?’

Kara broke into a cold sweat. This reply was more personal than the earlier ones. She still believed that this was all some sick joke, probably being played on by one of Abbey’s brothers or friends. Or was it a ghost within the internet? She didn’t believe that Abbey was haunting her beyond the grave through the web. Such a thing was impossible.

The notifications returned even with the computer switched off. Kara wondered where they were coming from? Her SMS ringtone started going off. The cacophony felt like someone was drilling at her brain.

The messengers popped again: the same question came up again. As was the next, and the next. Soon Kara could hear nothing but notification pops. Kara tore off the headphones and did a hard shutdown on her computer. The pops

Abbey shook her head. ‘You know what? I feel that there aren’t enough messengers going off. Maybe I should add in your Xbox as well.’ The Xbox Live notifications roared from the dormant Xbox 360 beneath her TV. Abbey still didn’t look satisfied. ‘And maybe your Twitter and Tinder accounts as well.

- Fiction -

I’ve got all of them asking that one simple question; did you miss me?’ Tears ran down Kara’s face. She held her hands to her ears. ‘Make it stop! Make it stop!’

stop for as long as you’re alive.’ Kara tried not to listen to Abbey, but the urge came to her. She started to believe it’d be the only escape from Abbey and all the notifications.

‘Make it stop!’ Abbey said, imitating Kara’s voice. She laughed, before shifting to a straight face. ‘Now you know how I felt when all your followers harassed me. This is what they were like all day, every day for two weeks. Insanity, isn’t it? You still haven’t answered my question though: did you miss me?’

‘That’s right, Kara,’ said Abbey, ‘now point that knife at your throat and stab at it, just like I did.’

Kara couldn’t take it anymore. She screamed and ran out of her room. The popping sounds followed her as she ran down her hallway to the kitchen. Abbey appeared on her lounge room TV. The high definition made Abbey’s decaying appear more detailed. ‘I really should be recording this for YouTube. It’d be the next viral hit.’

‘What are you waiting for? You know death is the only escape from me, I told you that even when I was alive. What are you waiting for? Do it!’

Kara looked around the room for relief. She saw the family telephone. Maybe she could call someone to save her. Abbey looked on disapprovingly. ‘Hmmm, I don’t think so shit for brains. You see I can enter into everything that is connected to the internet, including your home phone.’ The family landline started ringing. More tears fell from Kara’s eyes as the sounds shredded the last of her sanity. Abbey laughed. ‘There is only one way to stop me, Kara. Look in the sink and you will see the answer.’ Kara looked at the knife in her kitchen sink and looked back at the home phone. One of the cables ran towards the modem. ‘I know what you’re thinking, and no, cutting that cord won’t do a thing. You really think you could defeat me that easily?’ How could Abbey know every thought in her head? What else could she do with that knife to stop Abbey? ‘You look confused, let me give you a hint.’ said Abbey. ‘These notifications will never

Abbey pulled down the neck of her tattered jumper, exposing a gaping bloody slice where her jugular used to be. Worms chewed the flesh within the wound.

”

Kara drove the knife into her throat. A starburst of blood exploded across the kitchen as she pulled the blade out. The blood felt wet and warm against her icy skin. The notifications stopped. Abbey laughed. ‘That is for lying to the internet about me.’ Kara fell down the side of the counter, choking and gurgling on her blood. Her vision had begun to fade. The last thing she saw was Abbey’s face on the TV slowly fading along with the laughter. Before she lost consciousness, Kara thought about what Abbey had said. That is for lying to the internet about me. How could Abbey call it lying? All she was doing was trying to stand up for herself and not be a victim, how could that be considered lying? The last thing she heard was Abbey’s voice saying the four words that sealed her fate. Did you miss me? AUTHOR Cameron Lowe, 21, Bachelor of Creative Arts (Creative Writing) Cameron’s life needs more books and games, even if he’s got a lot already. Can never have too many.

Need support or information around depression and anxiety, for yourself, a friend or family member? You can get immediate support by contacting the beyondblue Support Service and for details of other national crisis and help lines. The beyondblue Support Service provides advice and support via telephone 24/7 (just call 1300 22 4636), daily web chat (between 3pm–12am) and email (with a response provided within 24 hours). https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ get-support/get-immediate-support

Complete the crossword and send a picture of your answers to stephanie.walker@flinders.edu.au and WIN one of ten free double passes to Palace Nova!

DOWN 1. Tale of a legend of the Wild West with performance by legendary American singer-songwriter. (6 Words) 2. Masked murderer picks his way through teenage group, having chosen a topical night for mass-murder.

ACROSS

3. ‘Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!’ (4 Words)

4. Two flatmates in Camden Town have something of a passion for alcohol and drugs. (3 Words)

4. An old Jewish refugee takes on the Austrian government to recover family artwork. (3 Words)

5. The god of thunder must learn humility and everyday life on Earth.

5. A reporter uncovers unconventional methods explored by the US army that allow people to kill with a look. (6 Words) 6. The story of an American president’s fight to abolish slavery. 7. A New York cop investigating serial killings gets more than he expects when he becomes involved with a woman who may hold the key. (3 Words) 8. Two New Zealander kids conspire to murder the mother of one of the two. (2 Words) 11. Sherlock Holmes investigates the barbaric Whitechapel murders. (3 Words) 12. US army radio announcer refuses to follow the desires of military superiors. (3 Words) 14. A young English woman falls in love in pre-war Florence. Though her love is not accepted by her English friends, fate intervenes. (5 Words) 17. A two-part story of bloody revenge following a wedding day incident. (2 Words) 19. A group of unemployed men in northern England decide to make their money as strippers. (3 Words) 20. A high-stakes poker game is staged in an effort to finance global terrorism. (2 Words)

9. Billionaire decides to destroy humanity and start anew… under the sea! (5 Words) 10. Two hitmen go on holiday after a job goes awry. (2 Words) 13. John Hurt’s stomach ache is worse than anyone else’s. 15. Harrison Ford plays a cop protecting a kid who saw a murder committed. 16. Conspiracy of the death of an American president. 18. International terrorist takes over Los Angeles office building. (2 Words) 21. William Wilberforce’s campaign to do away with slavery in Britain. (2 Words) 22. The last days in the life of a popular but self-destructive American high school girl. (6 Words) 23. The story of the crew of a German war-time submarine. (2 Words) 24. Schwarzenegger stars in memory-based Philip K. Dick adaptation. (2 Words) Crossword clues by Liam McNally

41 41

Level

VIRIDI Virtual gardening; my latest hobby Casual games are designed for a mass audience, typically light on rules, simple to play, and they are everywhere. From Facebook games like Farmville, apps including Candy Crush and Four Pic One Word which have infiltrated all of our feeds, to the classics like Pac-Man and Tetris, there has always been a special place for casual games in our hearts. The latest casual game that I have come across is called Viridi. Developed by Ice Water Games and released on Steam in August 2015, Viridi is less of a game and more like a soothing gardening experience. Viridi is centred around a small plant pot which you fill with succulents (a very hardy family of plants that include cacti) and then watch them grow over the course of a week.

sometimes I just want to chill out and water plants, and that’s what Viridi is for. You can leave the game open in the background of your computer for as long as you want and enjoy its calming, ambient soundtrack while you do whatever else you want. I enjoyed this game. I love plants and the idea of having a virtual desktop plant pot that I can tend to whenever I want. I was a fan of Tamagotchis back in the day, and the creator claims Viridi to be the Tamagotchi of 2015, but without the frustrating incessant beeping.

The game does not have set goals or achievements to accomplish, except for your own goal of caring for the plants and watching them thrive. You can do this by pulling weeds that appear, watering them with a spray bottle, and singing to them as the program plays soothing music. There is also a cute little snail that travels around the rim of the pot, watching over the growing plants.

The downside of this game would have to be the microtransactions. The game isn’t pushy about them but they do seem unnecessary. I would rather not pay 9 cents for another collection of pixels on my screen. There is also a purchasable Map to the Grove which apparently opens up another pot for planting in, for $4.99. No thanks. The game itself is free to purchase and play from the Steam store, so you can avoid costs altogether. Also, I gave one of my plants an extra squirt with the water bottle once and it seems to be permanently overwatered, so that’s a bit frustrating.

There is the option to buy more seeds to grow a wider variety of succulents, ranging from 9 cents to 39 cents each. However, you are given a new seed randomly each week, so purchasing more seeds is entirely optional.

Overall, I really enjoy this game, I would recommend it to anyone who really likes pot plants and is looking for a more relaxed outlet in their gaming life. If you like adult colouring books, you will probably like Viridi.

Viridi is designed to be a safe haven, a happy place that you can return to for a moment of quiet and peace whenever you need it, and I agree with this assessment. Sure, I love games like Skyrim and Grand Theft Auto, but

AUTHOR Kelly Guthberlet, 20, Bachelor of Science/Education Kelly’s life needs more glitter.

Artwork by Elaine Cheng For more of Elaineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work, check out elainecheng.com.au

MUSIC REVIEW:

Nilhs Frahm // Solos In the seemingly endless stream of music releases this year, only one album has kept me interested ever since I held the cardboard case in my hot little hands. That album is Solo, the latest LP from Berlin-based Nils Frahm, released on Piano Day (a day that celebrates the piano) in March earlier this year. The ever-busy Frahm has recorded multiple albums, some film soundtracks and new-age classical compositions, and while he doesn’t necessarily reinvent the formula with this album, he proves that he’s still one of the best. The differences between Solo and Frahm’s other albums aren’t far between. 2013’s Spaces saw Frahm experiment with electronics and other instruments, but Solo plays to his strengths with lengthy, quiet and beautiful compositions, similar to his earlier records. The album is a collection of eight tracks, created out of hours of improvisations recorded on the Klavins M370, a twelve-foot-tall upright piano. The piano itself has a rich, airy quality to it, as the microphones pick up the light taps

to the keys, background noise and even Frahm’s occasional breaths. The album maintains consistency throughout most of its duration. The first few tracks, ‘Ode’, ‘Some’ and ‘Circling’ are repetitions of some pleasing and lovely, yet moody chords, with very few singular notes to be heard. The tracks progress clearly as Frahm delves deeper into the sound and resonating power of the instrument. The lively ‘Merry’ is overcast by ‘Chant’, which I would poetically describe as a simple yearning to the past, as the lower notes on the piano vibrate and fade around the studio. The album slightly increases in complexity as Frahm experiments more with form and structure on the second half. ‘Wall’ is a sharp tangent to the calmer tracks, as Frahm creates a heavy, dark wall of sound on the keys, disrupting the previously established mood. ‘Wall’ is then followed by the open-ended ‘Immerse!’ showcasing Frahm’s full melodic skills as he picks

note after note from the piano, forming a striking piece, exploring every inch of the instrument. Finally, to close up the album, ‘Four Hands’ overdubs the instrument to make it sound like he is, you guessed it, playing with four hands. To get to the point, Solo is perhaps Frahm’s best work to date. Every note he places on the piano is delivered with purpose and thought. It’s moody, it’s quiet, and it demands emotion. I loved every moment from start to finish on this album. As Frahm himself mentions in the liner notes, Solo likes to be listened to in silence and peace. Solo can be downloaded for free from www. pianoday.org

Rating: AUTHOR & ARTIST Aden Beaver, 18, Bachelor of Creative Arts (Digital Media) Aden’s life needs more time for sleeping.

ANIME REVIEW:

Durarara!!x2 Sho At last the long awaited sequel to the 2010 anime Durarara!! has arrived! Durarara!!x2 Sho demonstrated to us just how lacking our lives were without any sense of proper conclusion in the original series. I admit that at hearing the first announcement I was incredibly sceptical; I thought that they were just milking the cow. How naïve I was! The sequel continues on with the multiple stories of Ikebukuro’s seedy citizens and Sho doesn’t skip a single beat. The anime hurtles us right back into the crazy mix of characters and narratives we thought had long left us for their deserved place in anime heaven. But fear not, back from the dead with unfinished business, the first part of the Durarara!! sequel—containing 12 episodes—has recently finished airing. With more to come, the audience can expect to see the anime cover all unadapted storylines from the popular novels by Ryohgo Narita. Story Durarara!!x2 Sho follows Mikado as he comes to grips with how his gang the ‘Dollars’ have gotten out of hand and how he is unable to deal with the situation like the loveable wuss he is. Mikado, not wanting to change the Dollars, has to make some pretty tough decisions. Fan favourite Celty Sturleson also gets caught up with some bizarre events involving Russian assassins and the yakuza. In these new arcs, many vibrant additions are made to the cast of characters as the narrative creates some new and dynamic relations. When these relations are destroyed, Ikebukuro breaks out in chaos. Animation The lack of stylistic or quality alteration from the first season proves just how freakishly ahead of its time the original series’ animation was. I kid you not, no upgrades or

facelifts have been given to the second coming of Durarara!!, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. The incredibly unique rough and raw aesthetic given to the movements and characters of Durarara!! are what really cement us in the animated Ikebukuro. I actually stayed there during the mid year break and I was very excited to see the iconic scenery in the flesh. The original animation studio, Brain Base, unbelievably isn’t animating Durarara!!x2, but newcomer Shuka is—incredible! They certainly had me fooled, but I’m sure many of the staff members moved. Wow factor! What really amazed me about Sho though was how immediately engrossed I was by the return of my beloved ragtag team of troublemakers; not just our favourite Celty. Every episode had me begging for more. The show’s immediate reliance on pre-established love for this anime is undeniable but ultimately it is backed up by real content and development of the narrative plots that we could only have imagined being in the yet-to-be-translated novels! Honestly, if you liked the first series, you cannot miss Sho. I’ve accepted miracles do happen, sometimes anime death is not permanent and that #notallrevivals are deniable. Sho incorporates everything we loved about the original series and fixes everything that annoyed us too. The second season promises to be the wonderful anime spa day treatment I’m sure the novels deserve. As of July the second part Durarara!!x2 Ten has started airing in Japan.

Rating: AUTHOR Emma Hobbs, 18, Bachelor of Creative Arts (Digital Media) Emma’s life needs more time to celebrate her beautiful cat.

FILM:

The V isit The Renaissance of M. Night Shyamalan? Liam McNally speaks with young Australian actor Ed Oxenbould regarding his starring role in the new horror movie.

The career of M. Night Shyamalan is a long and storied one. Famous for his psychological horror movies often characterised by their plot twists, there are a lot of expectations audiences carry into the theatre when they go to see the latest M. Night Shyamalan movie. The Visit is Shyamalan’s latest offering and carries many of the defining features of his films. This is a Shyamalan film, perhaps more truly than many that have come before it. It is the story of two American kids who spend some time with their grandparents in order to allow their mum some time to holiday with her boyfriend. It is clear early on that things are not quite right. The film holds back on revelation as long as possible, allowing the audience’s minds to ponder a variety of horrors. The film was shot almost exclusively in one location on a small budget provided by Shyamalan himself. It was made without studio involvement, allowing the writing and direction of the film to be more wholly Shyamalan’s own. The Visit has the hallmarks of a filmmaker going back to basics and returning to what defined his career. Of course, this carries greater risks, as a failure in this will be attributed to Shyamalan alone. It’s fortunate, then, that this is a success. It doesn’t revolutionise horror films but rather presents a very sophisticated film made with great awareness of expectations. Shyamalan is able to show his abilities as filmmaker, knowing what criticisms are leveled at him and knowing his craft very well. The film puts the two young protagonists, Rebecca and Taylor Jamison (played by Olivia De Jonge and Ed Oxenbould respectively) at the forefront. The film is told exclusively through Rebecca’s lenses as she is an

aspiring filmmaker documenting their stay on camera. This lends an additional urgency to the film and reduces the distance between character and viewer. Shyamalan provides the young actors with a lot to work with. Their characters are more sophisticated than many filmmakers would have such young people perform. The strength of the roles given to these young actors also helps to avoid the trap of horror films portraying cyphers, rather than people, but the film manages to dodge this and produce thoroughly and sophisticatedly written characters. After viewing the film, I had the chance to speak with Ed Oxenbould about his experiences on The Visit. He commented on the characters being better created and discussed the history of the protagonists. ‘[Mental health] played a huge part in our characters and how they saw the world,’ Ed said, elaborating that Rebecca and Taylor have their problems stemming from ‘their dad leaving them [leading them to have] strange oddities and things about them they don’t like to share’.

The film, like the characters, is a very layered work. It manages to encompass comical and serious aspects, often in the same scene. Ed, commenting about attending a screening of The Visit, said that it was ‘great to see that one minute everyone was shocked and there was a big scream. The next moment they’d all be laughing.’ It is no small achievement to manage such changes of tone without it becoming jarring. Ed identifies the humour as the aspect that makes the film ‘so unique’. Taylor, as Ed plays him, adds to the humorous elements of the film by adding ‘a couple of raps and things like that [which] make it a bit lighthearted and funny’. The day portions of the film are largely characterised by the lighter and more humorous tone. It is when night falls that the terrors begin, and as Ed says, ‘it becomes very chilling at times’. The film comes with the tagline ‘Don’t leave your room after 9:30pm’. The reasons for the grandparents’ rule is made clear early. The safe and homely place is transformed into a place of nightmares.

recording, it required more discipline still. There was opportunity to ‘change the script a little when in preproduction with Night’ but beyond that there was little room for spontaneous improvising. This was a film made with the clarity of vision that comes from a filmmaker knowing their foundations, and strengths and weaknesses. Many of the features that have gone some way to defining Shyamalan’s work remain just as overt here but are simply executed more effectively. Ed recalls that it was Shyamalan’s aim to go ‘back to his roots’. This is an endeavour in which he was clearly highly successful.

The use of this pseudo-documentary style also enables the characters to commentate as they please. This grants Shyamalan further opportunity to play with the audience’s expectations, with Taylor speculating on possible horrors hidden about the place, thus giving voice to the audience’s own expectations. The tension begins almost immediately and only builds, leaving the audience begging for the next nightfall and, somewhat ironically, the light it will shine on the nocturnal terrors. The tension is eked out in such a way that it does not stretch the audience’s patience or belief. Rebecca takes her filmmaking seriously and does not wish to spy on others to satisfy her curiosity. This is a film that may never have been made had studios been in a position to sway the creative control of the

director. Ed recollects his time on the set of the Disney film Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day that had ‘a director as well as people from the studio on the set’ so there were ‘studio rules [so] you [couldn’t] say certain words… there was definitely a limit’. The Visit, however, was ‘[Shyamalan’s] project and Night had full control’ allowing him to add what he wished.

“

This is a film that may never have been made had studios been in a position to sw ay the creative control of the director.

“

The humour, provided largely by Ed’s Taylor, is not a welcome component of his sister’s film. Taylor campaigns hard throughout for opportunities to show off his talents. The shooting style is another thing Ed identifies as a defining aspect of the film, as ‘it’s a found-footage film’ (a technique popularised by The Blair Witch Project and other films) but also ‘set out like a documentary’. It’s ‘almost like a mock documentary’. This allows Shyamalan to stamp his directorial style firmly upon the film by creating in Rebecca, a young girl with a sophisticated knowledge of filmmaking. She shoots her documentary with purpose, allowing the real-life director to guide the narrative without breaking the illusion of it being a film recorded by the characters themselves. It is a very useful technique and one that Shyamalan knows how to use to full effect.

The film’s faux documentary style necessitated that this creativity was not so open to the actors. When asked about the actors’ freedom to improvise, Ed responded that they were given a ‘little bit of room to improvise’ but it was largely a case of ‘stick[ing] to the writing’ as ‘the shots had to be choreographed and the camera had to move left on this line and right on that line’. To sell the illusion of undisciplined

Ed describes the shooting of The Visit as being on an ‘intimate set’ with an ‘intimate cast’ due to the limited shooting locations and cast. When asked about the interaction between cast members, most significantly the eerie elder figures, he highlighted the oddness of the divide between the roles of ‘the creepy grandparents’ and the ‘really, really nice’ actors portraying them. It is perhaps due to the clarity of vision afforded by such absolute creative control that makes this film the success it is. It is not a film that changes the nature of horror movies, nor does it significantly alter Shyamalan’s style. It is just the case that this is a film executed very well. It is a return to form and certainly a return to the roots of a long career for Shyamalan. All the familiar aspects are present and correct but most importantly of all, they are pulled off perfectly by cast and creative crew. This is perhaps the most M. Night Shyamalan of all M. Night Shyamalan films but in such a way as to cause optimism for seeing a career renewed. On the subject of careers, I asked Ed about his choices as a young actor. While Ed’s career is still young, Shyamalan is (if The Visit is anything to go by) returning to earlier good form. Ed expressed a desire not to ‘accept anything too risky’ but still remaining ‘at this stage open to anything’. Having done films aimed at a young audience immediately before this, Ed looks to change again, keeping variety in a young career. Next time you see Ed appear, it will likely be in something ‘completely different’. And then? ‘Different after that’.

AUTHOR Liam McNally, 22, Bachelor of Creative Arts (Creative Writing) Liam’s life needs more Summer and cats.

FOOD REVIEW: NORDBURGER Whether you’ve noticed or not, Adelaide has been hit with a certain new type of food revolution: Burgers. Yes, restaurants dedicated to our US cousin’s staple item have been popping up all over the state, with joints such as Grill’d, Fancy Burger, Burger Theory and Burger Addiction quickly becoming favourites with meaty sandwich enthusiasts alike. What makes a good burger is highly debatable: sometimes it’s the quality of the patty, sometimes it depends on the overall size, and other times it is the nutrition (although, I’ve never seen someone claiming burgers as the latest diet fad). Originally, my partner in crime excitedly suggested we try every burger place in SA and come to a conclusion on which one is the best. Although my stomach seemed to approve, my heart gave a very upset thud, begging me not to dig my own grave at twenty one. So sadly, you guys won’t be getting a comparison review—unless you want me to type it from the ER. Instead we headed to Nordburger, one of the first little joints to have popped up in the Eastern suburbs, along the Norwood Parade, a few years ago. Upon approach we actually missed where it was, due to how crisp and professional it looked. There are no giant posters of massive burgers dripping in dressing, no typical American number plates plastered on the walls, and the place certainly doesn’t come with big

colourful children’s fun maps and crayons (sorry guys!).

McDonalds, but seeing how recently there was a huge (and I mean huge, it made the news) story on how the Big Mac sauce was being auctioned off for ridiculous amounts of money on Ebay, I can see why the Nord Sauce is so popular. Perhaps it is a throwback to a classic American family eatery, or perhaps its coincidence.

Nordburger is quite a small store with mainly benches as seating. When we entered the store was packed which gave the impression we were in for something good. Being a Nordburger virgin, I went with their signature burger, the aptly named Nordburger, while my associate went with a cheeseburger. I went with crinkle cut fries as a side because I am extremely dull, while my friend ordered tater tots, or in Australian terms, potato gems. For you veg heads out there, there’s the most delicious-looking being the Mushroom Burger, which is made with panko-crumbed Portobello mushrooms.

Our burgers were delicious and, while not overly excessive with toppings, still succeeded in filling us up. The meals are actually very decently priced, with both mine and my partner’s burger being under $10 each! Unless you want it served in a brown bag through a drive thru, it is quite difficult to find a good burger for that price. We regret not trying the milkshakes, as these are also a widely discussed aspect of Nordburger, and nearly every patron in the store had one, but by the time we could consider milkshakes we were both K.O’d from the meal.

The great thing about Nordburger is that the kitchen is completely open so you can watch your burger being put together before your eyes. The staff seem to be super in sync with each other, working effectively while laughing and joking. We had our meals within ten minutes of ordering, which surprised us both seeing how packed the store was. The one thing I’d been hearing about at Nordburger is the famous ‘Nord Sauce’ that comes on the burgers and on the side with fries. I was told it was a must do item for the fries, so we added a side of the sauce to the order. Honestly, it tastes quite a lot like the sauce that comes on a Big Mac at

In short, Nordburger is excellent in taste and price for that burger fix. And don’t lie and claim you never have burger cravings— we all do.

AUTHOR Bethany Lawrence, 21, Bachelor of Arts (Creative Writing) Bethany says her life needs more crazy random happenstances.

which video game do you belong in? Games are best played

How often do you game?

Every unblinking moment

When I have friends over

When I need to unwind

Co-op

Solo

You consider yourself to be

You’ve just lost to your opponent

‘BULLS**T!! CHEATING NOOBS!’

Destructive

‘I have been bested.’

Nostalgic

Adventurous

Explore the world

Complete everything

You’re low on health...

Grab a potion!

Attack anyway!

When you game, you aim to

Clock the game in record time

You’re in a fight with a dragon. You must... I used to be just like you until I took...

Damn...

Campers

Catch it with a masterball Zubats

call of duty

pokemon

With a thirst for battle & bloodshed, you put your high powered rifle above wit & fair play. Who needs a storyline when there’s a tide of zombies?

Prodigy of Professor Oak, the Berry doesn’t fall far from the Sudowoodo. You’re a completionist with a ‘gotta catch em all’ attitude.

Absorb its soul An arrow to the knee

skyrim

Constantly on the run for killing a chicken, you enjoy endless quests & picturesque scenery. Warm up your vocal chords, you’ve got shouting to do.

A tortoise shell to the face

mario kart

You love to race against a mushroom, princess, dragon & plumbing bros. You love the company of friends & the N64 brings back good memories.