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ew
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Enjoy all that life has to offer
Nurture more fulfilling relationships
Mindfulness Book Realise your
goals Boost self-esteem Overcome stress Create a more mindful you
60
ways to live a happier life
Change negative patterns
Master meditation techniques
11 steps
second edition
Digital Edition
To harmonise body and mind
contents Foreword
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8
Discovering Mindfulness
towards a mindful you
mindfulness meditation
A beginner’s guide to the here and now . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
What do you think you’re like? . . . . . . . . . . 28
Getting started . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Disposed towards the moment . . . . . . . . . . 30
Mixing and matching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Wheel and compass . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Mindfulness meditations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
Alive in the present . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
Gently does it . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64
Time warps . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Body ready . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
Lifting the lid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Breathe easy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68
Can’t help it! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
Inner clouds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
Loosening habit’s grip . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Inner winds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74
Wandering mind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
What’s not to like? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
Mindful learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
I live here . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
Alive to others . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48
What’s happening in your brain? . . . . 82
Who am I? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
Hello leaf, hello coin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84
Seeing your true self . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Body scan basics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90
The bigger picture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Sensational! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
New moment, new you . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Silent witness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 A thousand leaves . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Growing yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Mindfulness and tradition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Mindfulness for health and wellbeing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Your inner rollercoaster . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98 Take it in your stride . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100 Waves of compassion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104 Mindful imagination . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108 The habit of now . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 Suddenly you’re doing yoga! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114
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mindfulness life skills
mindfulness when you need it
Tangled tales . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120
Grow and learn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144
Calm within . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122
Show what you know . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 146
Avoiding avoidance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124
Get that job . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148
Unquiet mind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126
Mindfulness in motion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150
Steady within . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128
Be honest
Weather warning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130
In crisis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 154
Shift work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132
Mindful tomorrows . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 156
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152
Away with autopilot! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134 I can, I deserve . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136
Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158
Within seven breaths . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138 The mindful connection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140
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10
discovering mindfulness discovering mindfulness
A Abeginner’s thousAnd guide to the leAves here And now 22
Finding the moment in repetitive chores
truths and myths about mindfulness mindfulness is a modern practice that involves paying full attention to your experiences, both good and bad – it's not a state of mystical bliss or spiritual transcendence. it has no religious dimension. mindfulness is ■■■■recognizing
feelings without becoming caught up in them
How mindfulness can Any repetitive chore – from painting a wall to doing the dishes – offers a chance for enricH your life mindfulness. Leaf sweeping has Zen overtones: clearing leaves from ornamental ■■■■identifying
yourself as who you truly are – and not identifying yourself with your feelings or mistakes
patterns raked in sand was essential in a Japanese temple garden. it inasthe anmoment and ■■■■livingtry more less in the past and future introduction in action. The mindful waytotomindfulness wellbeing is life-changing. if
ritish crime writer Agatha Christie inhabit every moment ofof theshort chore as if you choose it, you’ll need to follow a routine famously said that the best time to it were precious. The moments would mindfulness alongside you’ll need plan a book ismeditations. while you’re washing the be precious,that, you might say, if you didn’t dishes. It’s easy to see where she was have to spend them brushing leaves to become aware of any ingrained habits of mind that coming from. The word “mindless” away, and trying to enjoy it. attachesyou, itself toso everyday have readily stopped far, from Over livingand life to the full. over
chores, so if you can disengage from a boring and repetitive task and do it he perfectly idea of mindfulness is very well on autopilot, then why simple: you pay close attention not? You'll get the dishes clean attothe an experience in the present same time as sorting outmoment, problems that while allowing yourself to beattention. openrequire your conscious Why“spacious”. then, wouldThis you wish to make a hearted and last word mindless task mindful? It’s bad needs a little explanation. Our pureenough the yard without having to state of sweeping mind is spacious, but over time,
■■■■a way to cultivate happiness mindfulness? And once you’ve swept that’s suitable for all. a thousand leaves, would sweeping another few hundred really make the mindfulness is not experience any richer? Anyone who’s experienced ■■■■empyting the mindtheorvalue stopping of mindfulness should be able to tackle thinking these questions without difficulty, since This parody of a popular, uninformed their intuition will be attuned to how though it ■■■■a relaxation technique, certain habits of thinking form and view is worth taking seriously for the operates.itFirst, they’ll know that will make you more relaxed solidify. Mindfulness meditation, questions it raises. Would you really mindfulness not prescriptive. If as aisby-product practised over a experience period of at least miss a valuable if you dida someone has a menu to devise in their few weeks, can while breaksweeping down these some thinking the inner heads ■or■■■an a speech to plan, no escape fromthere’s personality – leaves? Wouldn’t you get the boring reason at all why they shouldn’t work structures and return us to our original it reveals to us our personality task doneThat’s better and quickly on this while leaf-sweeping – especially openness. whymore mindfulness by tackling it head on, without if they’ve they for canliving think more ■■■■afound charter life without practice has been proven effective
as we accumulate life experiences,
as an antidote to all kinds of negative
B
T
Mindfulness changes your sense of who you are in relation to your own life and to other people. 18 022-023_Thousand_leaves.indd 22
planning – you can plan in a mindful way, just as you can learn mindfully from the past.
mindsets, including poor self-esteem, high anxiety, low levels of vitality and engagement, and mild to moderate depression. Mindfulness changes your sense of who you are in relation to your own life and to other people. It also gives you better access to your full potential, 04/05/2015 13:09 09:29
a thousand leaves a thousand leaves
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23
Mindfully sweeping leaves isn’t just Mindfully isn’t just about getting sweeping to know leaves what they really about getting to know what they really look like or subjecting yourself to a look or subjecting yourself a session oflike mental austerity – yourtomind session of mental austerity – your mind is sure to wander and you can learn a lot is sure to wander and you can learn a lot from itsits unauthorized detours. from unauthorized detours. effectively in suchincircumstances. effectively such circumstances. Any feeling guiltofabout this choice Any of feeling guilt about this choice be unnecessary. Mindfulness would bewould unnecessary. Mindfulness not impose choices does notdoes impose choices uponupon you you in the way that your nagging, logical in the way that your nagging, logical mind may do. mind may do.
Nobody is isgoing to rebalance your. mind. Nobody goingto to concentrate concentrate willwill helphelp to rebalance your mind the term longwill term will 100100 perper cent butif if Mindfulness in theinlong centon onleaf-sweeping, leaf-sweeping, but Mindfulness on perform a gradual makeover on opttotosweep sweep in the perform a gradual makeover youyou dodo opt the moment, moment, brain. with purposefulattention, attention, and your brain. with purposeful andwithout without your judgement(not (notthinking thinking “This judgement “Thisisissoso boring” or “I wish I could be curled up meditation boring” or “I wish I could be curled up Garden Garden meditation by the fire”), you will create a stable Thoughts and emotions by place the fire”), youthoughts will create a stable willThoughts enter yourand mindemotions as Thought and distraction for your to settle. If they will enter your to mind as you sweep. Choose Thought and distraction place for your thoughts to settle. If they There’s a big difference, however, wander, and you start worrying about observe them, without you sweep. Choose to There’s abetween big difference, however, wander, and you start worrying consciously using the something, the mindful way is to about letting them take over, observe them, without time for thought observe those worries without betweensweeping consciously using the and going something, the mindful way is getting to before returning letting themto take over, sweeping. outtime therefor with no intention other than toobserve drawn those into them, and then gently, if you your sweeping thought and going worries without getting before returning to the job done. People doing a routine choose bring your back to if your out theregetwith no intention other than to drawn intoto,them, and focus then gently, you your sweeping. activity often drift into thoughts of brushing. By the end of the session, get the job done. People doing a routine choose to, bring your focus back to your planning, and find themselves repeating you’ll have enjoyed a different kind of activity often drift into thoughts of brushing. By the end of the session, the same thoughts unhelpfully – until double benefit – getting the job done planning,thinking and find themselves repeating you’ll have enjoyed different becomes as automated as and spending someahealing timekind (it isof the samesweeping. thoughtsAlso, unhelpfully benefit – you getting job this done their mind–isuntil likely to double healing, though won’tthe know yet) thinkingstray becomes as automated andinspending into pointless worrying.asIn any the now. some healing time (it is case, if you takemind your is mind off to a Bringing mindfulness to aknow routine task sweeping. Also, their likely healing, though you won’t this yet) repetitive job, you’re likely to do it gives you the opportunity to be present stray into pointless worrying. In any in the now. moretake slowly andmind less efficiently. in the moment, in a wayto that, over time, case, if you your off a Bringing mindfulness a routine task repetitive job, you’re likely to do it gives you the opportunity to be present more slowly and less efficiently. in the moment, in a way that, over time,
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towards a mindful you towards a mindful you
What do you think Alive in the you’re like? present 44
available to us at every moment. It can give us nourishment and calm within our busy lives of seemingly endless doing. What we gain from this is not spiritual wisdom but a practical way to inhabit our everyday lives more fully.
The challenge of being
When you combine the “being” mode with noticing your sensations, thoughts, or feelings, you enter a mindful state, with its attendant physical and psychological benefits. Achieving that state takes practice; if you just try “being” for a few seconds, you won’t mindful attention; this process can find it easy. You’re in the middle of help you examine yourwhich strengths following a train of thought, your and weaknesses. Mindfulness will help you mind won’t want to abandon. towhat approach such self-assessments So does “being” look like? This thought experiment will give you an honestly and carefully. By avoiding idea. Imagine that you’re sitting in the judgement, and considering the park, looking intently at a rose. You let more questions in the moment, you’re go of everything in your mind except likely to come up with useful responses the sensation of the rose; there’s no that are true to your experience. room in your thoughts for past or future, for anxiety, or for any other emotion. If The intrudes, Big Five a thought you simply let it drift outAn of your mind in the same point way that interesting starting foritselfdrifted in. You don’t battle exploration might bewith thethat well-known thought thatpersonality would take you set ofbecause Big Five traits back into the doing mode. You have (see right). Use the diagram to think chosen mindfulness.
MIndfulness and personalITy Moving inTo being We allTaking haveacharacteristics that make us unique: this step back in our minds from doing and instead is ourmoving personality. If weofview personality as into a state pure,our present being is atraits key skill tendencies, not patterns, we’re less likely to be limited of mindfulness. Attending to our sensations, thoughts, and feelings meansapproach that the negative energies in our by them. The mindful is to get to know minds and lose use muchthat of their influence.to make choices. ourselves, knowledge
P T
he mind’s “doing” mode is the mode
sychologists love to– classify, of efficiency the realmand in which in the past, studies of we get things done inpersonality the physical tended world. to focus categorizing people Weon have seen that this mode has its negative – it is here that into universal “types”.aspects Such assessments we react automatically, worrywe about have fallen out of favour, though still the future, and the forms, past – but come across them inregret various it offers up so many possibilities for especially in the business world, when moving towards our personal goals. In assessing contributions to teamwork. comparison, the “being” mode may
with a still mind, unless you’re a
popular of assessment, mystic scale or a Buddhist in a deep derived state from Jung’s contrast of thinking and of absorbed concentration? feeling, runs from something like Dropping into “tough-minded” to being “sympathetic”. The “being” mode is not just for the
spiritually minded: the basic, nonExploring personality
judging (or choiceless) awareness that The emphasis of mindfulness is to comes to the foreground when you drop realize your potential and bring to light about your position on the five scales: into “being” mode has been a vital inner your true options. The true mindful self openness, conscientiousness, resource from the start of our seem rather dull and unappealing: after Shades grey in the unfolding extraversion, agreeableness, and conscious lives, and it’s of thoughts, all, of what’s the point of just sitting there, is found Psychologists now speak of traits more emotions, and actions, so if you think sensitivity (also called neuroticism). Simply observe it, without than types – a more useful and less of yourself as a fixed personality type, reductive approach. For example, we such as introverted or sympathetic, engaging with it, without What should I do if anyou are living in the past, not in judging it, without doing can try to pinpoint our position on then Personality types, emotionand or distracting a scale between introversion the present, and you limit your scope anything with it at all. though never a extraversion – termsthought that date suddenly back to for positive change. pops a book by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung, It is, however, possible to use good excuse, help into my head? published in 1921. Jung represented personality traits as a tool for mindful you understand and these qualities as an absolute pairing: self-discovery. Think about the you were either one thing or the other. adjectives associated with personality forgive your own In fact, no one is wholly extravert traits and consider whether you mightdealing with intruders behaviour. But (outward) or introvert (inward), and have appeared – in the past – to have In a mindful state, thoughts and are neither welcome of using beware studies by the German psychologist shown these characteristics in your emotions nor unwelcome. Hans Eysenck and others have shown behaviour towards others. Do any them to stereotype that most people are in fact a balanced of these words chime with how you yourself. mixture of the two, albeit with a sometimes describe yourself ? Think 34 preference in one direction. Another about these views of your self with 044-045_Alive.indd 44
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alive in the present alive in the present
SignS of the “being” mode SignS of the “being” modemode through this Get to know the characteristics of the “being” checklist; compare its features with those of the “doing” mode on Get to know the characteristics of the “being” mode through this page 32. checklist; Notice that it is initsthe naturewith of those the being that many compare features of themode “doing” mode on page 32. Notice that it is in the nature of the being mode that many
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of its features are expressed in the negative. Use this list when you look back on your first attempts at just being, to see whether of its features are expressed in the negative. Use this list when you your thinking attained any of atthese qualities, non-qualities. look back on your first attempts just being, to seeorwhether your thinking attained any of these qualities, or non-qualities.
non-judgement
Living in the moment
Living in the moment
“Being here now” and not engaging with “Being here now” and not engaging with any thought of past orof future any thought past or that futurehappens that happens to come into yourintomind. to come your mind.
attention
attention Focusing the mind on its own experience Focusing the mind on itsand, ownif itexperience in the moment gets distracted, in the moment if it your getsfocus distracted, gently and, returning to the object your attention. gently returning yourof focus to the object of your attention.
ReSPonSiveneSS Not reacting to any unwanted inner or ReSPonSiveneSS outer distractions (thoughts or sensations), but simplyinner noticing Not reacting to any unwanted or them and letting them driftoraway. outer distractions (thoughts
sensations), but simply noticing them and letting them drift away.
Not measuring what happens or has non-judgement Not against measuring whatshould happensbeorhappening has happened what happened against what should be happening or should have happened. “Should” thinking or should have has happened. no place “Should” here. thinking has no place here.
accePtance
accePtance
Not engaging in a critical or disappointed
Not engaging in a critical or disappointed dialogue with yourself, and being dialogue with yourself, and being compassionate with yourself you compassionate with yourself wheneverwhenever you unintentionally of any kind of error unintentionally think ofthink any kind of error you’veyou’ve made. made.
PaSSivity
PaSSivity Not making decisions, planning or Not makingthese decisions, planning or problem-solving: all belong to the “doing” mode. problem-solving: these all belong to the “doing” mode.
non-engagement Not getting absorbed into an emotion or non-engagement unwanted thought that happens to cross yourNot mind; remaining distantinto fromananemotion or getting absorbed emotion’sthought underlyingthat story. unwanted happens to cross
your mind; remaining distant from an emotion’s underlying story.
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mindfulness meditation mindfulness meditation
GettinG started Mixing and 88
IntroducIng medItatIon practIce
Matching
your to the core In thisPlanning chapter, you’ll be introduced Formal meditation practice simply involves setting aside time for a mindfulness meditation practices. You’ll learn that Practice meditation session at some point in they are not strange, esoteric rituals but can be your day, every day. You can choose how long, but five or ten minutes is readily integrated everydaypractice, life. Your When you begininto youryour mindfulness you might worryaifgood you’re doing it right: starting point if you are a mindfulness journey starts here. in the right order for thecomplete are you doing the right meditations right length novice.of time?
W
Such anxiety is unnecessary: mindfulness is a principle, and there’s infinite room
hen you meditate, it’s as if your Now, more than ever, you become for variation in the way that principle is applied. sensations, thoughts, and feelings the observer (see page 53); you don’t are in anThere’s aquarium, a glass wall. invite inner critic since no set behind prescription for doing ownyour preferences, while along, others still You pullsuccessful up a chair and sit there calmly mindfulness means being purposefully mindfulness practice. Some prefer to embark on and follow a more watching them.likeIt’stopeaceful in the the moment without judgement. If people focus on one or more of in methodical programme. the–core mindfulness meditations pioneers of modern mindfulness, aquarium though in the tank itself, you The notice that he’s crept in, just ignore described this chapter such as Jon Kabat-Zinn, devised where all kinds ofindramas play(and listed in him: he’ll soon go away ifinitially you pay him the box, like tochaotic. mix and eight-week programme, based on themselves out,right); it canothers be rather noanattention. match their meditations to suit their
their experience of working with a
Five meditation tips For beginners How long should I
When you begin your practice, meditation meditate for? will be unfamiliar and you might feel a little lost. Keep in mind these five very simple tips – they'll help you find your way. Write them into your meditation journal, and review them before each session, making your own notes about which tips are useful – and which not.
An everyday practice
You may have heard myths about meditation (see box, right),setting. but be range of people in a therapeutic assured that there’s no ritual However, there’s nothing magical involved: youthis don’t wear special clothes, about eightneed weekto span – it’s simply a long enough nearby, period offill the room have a talisman timewith for the benefits of mindfulness mood music, or burn incense. You meditation have awhen good you’re chance going of simply to decide showing; and it offers a sufficiently
When you begin, aim for 10–15 minutes per day. You'll most likely find it hard to focus for longer at first. Aim to gradually increase the time to 20–30 minutes to gain greater Prepare yourself to observe and learn: benefits from your practice.
1
Have warm feelings towards yourself – what many meditators call “self-compassion”. Be generous and caring.
2
that’s the only intention you should take into your meditation.
time for you Some meditation every day is better than none: don't berate yourself if you can afford only a few minutes.
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mixing and matching large framework for a build-up of practice, with plenty of variety to help to motivate beginner. largethe framework for a build-up of
feeling guilt or anxiety. Feel free to devise your own schedule in the light of your andtothe feelingtime guiltcommitments or anxiety. Feel free experiences you have during practice. practice, with plenty of variety to help devise your own schedule in the light
Programmes progress to motivatefor the beginner.
of your time commitments and the
experiences you have during practice. On pages 62 – 63 you’ll find three Meditation times Programmes progress Just as with your choice of meditation programmes of differingfor lengths for you On pages – 63 structures you’ll find three Meditation times there’s no right or wrong to try if you wish.62The offered practice, Just as with your choice of meditation programmes of differing lengths for you answer when deciding how long or how are intended to be helpful rather than to try if you wish. The structures offered practice, there’s no right or wrong regularly to meditate. One prescriptive. Once you’ve committed to answer when deciding howstudy, long orinhow are intended to be helpful rather than people had trained meditation one of the programmes, perhaps regularly to meditate. One in study, in prescriptive. Once and you’ve committed to which forwhich eight people weeks,had found thatinthe average adaptedone it tooffitthethe regular routines of trained meditation programmes, and perhaps for eightofweeks, found that session the average the regular of duration a participant’s by your life,adapted you willit to nofitlonger haveroutines to duration of a participant’s session by your life, you will no longer have to the end of the course was 23 minutes make decisions about how to make the end of the course wasshowed 23 minutes makework decisions aboutyou howsimply to make a day. These participants much mindfulness for you: a day. These participants showed much mindfulness work for you: you simply higher activation of those brain areas do it, following the recipe given. higher activation of those brain areas do it, following the recipe given. andlower lower However, if one day you can’t find the associatedwith withwellbeing, wellbeing, and However, if one day you can’t find the associated activation of the areas linked with time, or time, feel like giving mindfulness activation of the areas linked with or feel like giving mindfulness stress, strongly that20–25 20–25 a break, ayou canyou docan so do without stress, stronglysuggesting suggesting that break, so without
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minutes of meditation per day provides mixing and matching 89 measurable benefits. However, many people report anecdotally that their minutes of meditation per day provides stress levels fall and their happiness measurable benefits. However, many increases just ten minutes people report with anecdotally that their of stress levels fall and their happiness mindfulness meditation daily. increases just ten minutes of Afterwith completing your first mindfulness meditation daily. programme, you’ll know enough about After completing your first mindfulness in practice to be able to programme, you’ll know enough about make your own decision about mindfulness in practice to be able to the wayyour forward. You might for make own decision aboutchoose, the to do a complete programme wayexample, forward. You might choose, for example, to do apunctuating complete programme repeatedly, this with repeatedly, punctuating this with meditation. interludes of less frequent interludes of less frequent meditation. If you feel unable to craft your own If you feel unable to craft your own routine, but feel that you’re gaining from routine, but feel that you’re gaining from what you’ve far,continue just continue – what you’ve donedone so far,so just – with any modifications you need to with any modifications you need to make for practical reasons. make for practical reasons.
Formal practices Formal practices
step tains step-byn co k oo b is Th step You can also m tains stepth-bey-following editate in less This book dcesoncriptions ofllowitinatgions: formal seca ttinngsa:lssome ot Yo ed fo u m e s th es f o ln s fu n d o o meditheartepoinssle ib le descripti min ss formal edgitations are de settmin editagtiopnrsa:ctice: pages 68– 71 s: m sc s so ri s be m e d e ln on o fu th d e in r possiblethe m following pages: Breathin m e 1 d 7 : it e a – ti ic 8 o 6 t n c s are described o ersa n the raancdt-Bicree:aptahgp fo ll o s w W in ee BreathinBgodpyg p p in a 1 g g 8 e le s: – 8 a 7 v es : : pageseath practice pages 18 –19 r es 8 4–89 g a p : e ic t c Body-ando-B a sWeeping le Bj1ect pr av pages 78–8 can: pages 904––9589 pages 18 –19 es: Boadcy tsice: pages 8 oBject pralking meditation: W pages 19003–95 Body scapnag: es 100 – ation: dnne:ss medit tio a in it k d g e in m v g lo in W alk 7 ge0s310 4 –10 1 pages 10p0a–1 p:ages 108 –11 : n io t a n it d io e t mounta esins mmedita
n loving kind 7 10 pages 10 4 – ges 108 –111 a p : n io t a it ed mountain m
The breath and body-and-breath practices breath and body-and-breath areThe fundamental meditations, so you’re practices are fundamental meditations, so you’re advised to become comfortable with these advised to become before progressing. Later,comfortable you are likelywith these to be drawnprogressing. to some practices before Later,more youthan are likely to others: if you’re an instinctively to be drawn to some practices more than compassionate the to others: ifperson, you’reforanexample, instinctively loving kindness meditation is likely to compassionate person, for example, the appeal. And if you love nature and the loving kindness meditation is likely to outdoors, practising the mountain appeal.may Andfeel if you nature and the meditation mostlove natural.
outdoors, practising the mountain
In the deeper practices, as the body meditation may feelsuch most natural. scan, you may find yourself confronting uncomfortable emotions. If so,such don’t as pushthe body In the deeper practices, yourself: pull back if it’s too upsetting. scan, you may find yourself confronting Return to the simpler breath and body-anduncomfortable emotions. If so, don’t push breath practices for a while. Build up again yourself: pull back if it’s tooif and upsetting. slowly to the deeper meditations Return to ready. the simpler breath and body-andwhen you feel
breath practices for a while. Build up again slowly to the deeper meditations if and when you feel ready. 61
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mindfulness meditation 120 mindfulness meditation
GettinG started body scan
IntroducIng medItatIon practIce
basics
In thisphYsical chapter, you’ll beself-awareness introduced to the core Formal meditation practice simply involves setting aside time for a mindfulness meditation practices. You’ll learn that meditation session at some point in they are strange,nourishing esoteric rituals canofbe Thisnot wonderfully exercisebut is one the mainstaysyour day, every day. You can choose how long, but five or ten minutes is of mindfulness practice. attend to each part of your readily integrated into yourYou everyday life. Your good starting point if you are a body in turn with maximum self-awareness, noticing the acomplete mindfulness journey starts here. novice.
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sensations and emotions that reside there. The result is a hen you meditate, it’sof as body if yourand Now, you become harmonization mindmore intothan anever, integrated whole. An everyday practice
You may have heard myths about sensations, thoughts, and feelings the observer (see page 73); you don’t meditation (see box, right), but be are in an aquarium, behind a glass wall. invite your inner critic along, since assured that there’s no ritual involved: You pull up a chair and sit there calmly mindfulness means being purposefully you don’t need to wear special clothes, watching them. It’s peaceful in the in the moment without judgement. If finding a comfortable position have a talisman nearby, fill the room aquarium – though in the tank itself, you notice that he’s crept in, just ignore with mood music, or burn incense. You where all kinds of dramas play him: he’ll soon go away if you pay him Staying alert you can practise body scan meditation when sitting or standing, but simply decide when you’re going themselves out, it can be rather chaotic. no attention. The body scan isn’t a relaxation exercise. Even so, you might well fall asleep most people prefer to lie down on a bed, mat, or a rug. Lying in one while doing it. don’t judge yourself if this happens. Propping up your head position for 30 minutes or more can be a challenge: if you feel cold, with a pillow, or keeping your eyes open, or even doing a sitting version of cover yourself with a light blanket; and shift your body position slowly the practice will help you stay awake if you feel drowsy. and mindfully until you are comfortable.
Five meditation tips For beginners
bending and lifting your knees, or resting them on a pillow, can help keep you comfortable.
try placing a pillow or a folded
When you begin your practice,towel meditation under your head to keep comfortable but alert. will be unfamiliar and you might feel a little lost. Keep in mind these five very simple tips – they'll help you find your way. Write them into your meditation journal, and review them before each session, making your own notes about which tips are useful – and which not.
1 Have warm feelings towards yourself – what many meditators call “self-compassion”. Be generous and caring.
2
Prepare yourself to observe and learn: that’s the only intention you should take into your meditation.
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body scan basics 121
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hen practising body scan compassion because the attention you mindfulness meditation, you direct onto the body is friendly and attain spacioushen awareness shifting caring, as wellbecause as curious. practising by body scan compassion the attention you your attentionmindfulness slowly around your body, meditation, you direct onto the body is friendly and region by region, like training a by shifting Central attain spacious awareness caring, aspractice well as curious. attention around your body, The body scan is the core practice in flashlightyour around the slowly walls of a cave. Central practice region by region, like training many mindfulness programmes (see You cannot hold the whole bodya in The body scan is the practice in a flashlight around the walls of a cave. pages 62 – 63) where itcore often follows the mind at once, since the mind is many mindfulness programmes (see You cannot hold the whole body in period of breathing and body-andunable to multi-task: it can only work pages 62 – 63) where it often follows a the mind at once, since the mind is sequentially. As your focus moves from period of breathing and body-andunable to multi-task: it can only work one areasequentially. to the next, become Asyou yourwill focus moves from aware ofone bare physical sensations, such area to the next, you will become aware of bareheaviness, physical sensations, as pulsing, tension, burning, such pulsing, tension, heaviness, burning, stiffnessas and so on, and you may also stiffness and so on, and you may recognize emotions that reside withinalso recognize emotions that reside within your body. You hold these sensations your body. You hold these sensations without without judgement or reaction; as as judgement or reaction; you do so, you may find that they you do so, you may find that they subside subside in intensity. in intensity. Continued practise Continued practise helps helps to to strengthen your capacity to pay strengthen your capacity to pay sustained attention. At the sustained attention. At the samesame time,time, you’re opening yourself up to selfyou’re opening yourself up to self-
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breath meditations. Try doing it twice body scan basics 121 a day for a whole week – perhaps withmeditations. a rest day Try when youit do something breath doing twice less disciplined, such as an object a day for a whole week – perhaps meditation. There with a rest day when youwill do inevitably something be lesstimes disciplined, an object when such you as can’t fit in a body scan meditation. will inevitably be becauseThere of pressing commitments or times when you can’t fit in a body scan lack of energy; don’t judge yourself – because of pressing commitments or move on to the next day. lack of energy; don’t judge yourself – move on to the next day.
The body scan is a nourishing The body scan is a nourishing practice; tryititwhen when you practice; try you feelfeel tired demotivated. You’ll tired or or demotivated. You’ll be be pleased yousummoned summoned pleased you upup the the will willtotododoit.it.
BreathIng Into Body areas
Keeping your eyes closed may help you focus attention on your body; keep them open but defocused if Keeping you yourstart eyesto closed may help feel drowsy.
you focus attention on your body; keep them open but defocused if you start to feel drowsy.
As you turn your attention each area of the body in turn, try imagining your BreathIng Into Bodyto areas breath travelling through your body to that area as you breathe in, and then leaving As you turn your attention to each area of the body in turn, try imagining your the area again as you breathe out. As you do this, imagine the sensations in that breath through your body to that area asisyou and then leaving part oftravelling the body being gently soothed. This, of course, not breathe how your in, anatomy theworks, areabut again as you breathe out. As you do this, imagine the sensations to visualize the process in this way can help to make the body scan in that part of the body being gently experience. soothed. This, of course, is not how your anatomy a more harmonized, integrated
works, but to visualize the process in this way can help to make the body scan a more harmonized, integrated experience. If any part of your body becomes uncomfortable, allow your attention to go to that place – don’t try to exclude the thoughts.
If any part of your body becomes uncomfortable, allow your attention to go to that place – don’t try to exclude the thoughts.
continued
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156 mindfulness life skills 162 mindfulness life skills
Tangled Tales UnqUiet mind Worrying about Worrying
anxiety gets bigger when it directs itself inward. two common false beliefs that can make your worrying worse are:
How to put StreSS in HoW to put anxiety in perSpective perspective
Stress can permeate all aspects of our lives, with its We all worry at some points in our lives, even though potent ofthat bodily symptoms anxious thinking. wemix know anxiety makes itand harder to be happy. But Mindfulness for somehelps anxiety,you anddisentangle the tension itstress-inducing causes in mind and thoughts seetothem in a of truer perspective that body, and persists the point interfering with daily life. weakens their hold. t canF poison our happiness, blow up
ear is an emotional response to a real threat – for example, being confronted by a mugger, contemplating our bridges, block our escape routes: ageing and death, and facing failure stress iswill theallsaboteur modern life. elicit fear.ofAnxiety is closely It causes physiological symptoms, related to fear, and is it caused such by as heartstressful problems, digestive complaints, situations, which can be real or imagined.that If your is vivid, and depression canimagination threaten our blessing in It one way, but it may health inthat’s the along term. strikes when your anxieties we’re atmake our lowest – wheneven wemore havepainful.
I
to be those with an avoidant coping style – that is, a tendency to steer clear Similarly, “churning” of the stomach, of situations they’d be likely to react to results from blood being re-routed with negative emotions.
where it is needed. Anxiety awareness
False andwith true triggers As always emotional reactions,
understanding is the evolved first step in The stress response far back to dissolve the pattern of in in learning evolutionary history. It remains harm. developed Anxiety operates by applying today’s societies, even
a problem-solving approach to the financial problems or when we’re An anxious type unknowable future, using a lot of “what seriously ill – and it thrives when we’re Many people suffer from a kind of if ?”questions to trace speculative lines in conflict with people, when generalized anxiety, whichwe’re even small of logic. “What if I miss that train?”, knotwork going through a major issues are likely tolife setchange, off. Howsuch this as job loss or divorce, trapped in process works is or notfeel completely understood by psychologists, a situation we can’t alter. It latches on Inner stress can often seem to be a huge but there to be certain to any doubts weseem might have about tangled knot. entering theme moment, in a factors that in can our Worrying motivates our performance a increase role – whether tendency to be anxious. A self-examination, employee, boss, husband, wife, or carer. tospirit getofthings done. we are able to history of prolonged stress and past traumas seems to Diagnosis be a possible influence. Genetic Stress ismake-up a self-protective mechanism may also come into play. Another that evolved to helppowerful us deal driver with ais the threat, company of people suggesting, perceived either by engaging directly or through their with it or by fleeing from it – behaviour, the sothat life abounds in threats or that called “fight or flight” response. A stress worry is a useful tool for averting cue triggers the release hormones, problems. Anxiousof people also tend
including adrenaline and cortisol, which cause physical changes, such as a raised heartbeat, which takes more blood to 126 priming us for action. the muscles, 162-163_Unquiet_mind.indd 162
unravel the knot and see its individual Inner stress
Inability to accept what can’t be changed. Pessimistic outlook.
■■■■My
worrying is out of my control
■■■■My
worrying will make me ill.
these are negative thoughts that couldwe be rarely self-fulfilling if though face life-threatening they are allowed to continue. dangers. Our stress can be triggered by this is the power personal setbacks in ourofrelationships or careers; myth. But by attending to them it can come from our inner thoughts with mindfulness, you’ll see that (see box, below); and sometimes the you have the option not to be fight or flight response is activated drawn into their gravitational field. when serious at stake but our as long nothing as you commit to is living in ego is threatened – for example, the present, these myths will lose when someone is rude or dismissive. their potency.
Mindfulness helps with the accurate appraisal of such situations and can tell us if the stressor is real. We may find, for ifexample, thatthe werent?”, become angry at “What I can’t afford “What if my daughter hasand an accident?”. a co-worker, that anger causes us Sometimes itself: stress. Ifanxiety we’vefeeds takenoffmindfulness into “What I’m we’ll so anxious in the meeting that ouriflife, be able to recognise that I can’t speak my mind?”. By “chasing” a worrying thought, we end up entertaining starkly imagined disaster scenarios.
strandsare for what are.right seeing the But theytheythe causes of inner stress with detachment, things, and how well do we can apply a mindful response to each you do them? strand of the knot.
MIndful responses worry is not an ally acceptance. Anxiety affects us all, so we may try to justify its awareness of possibilities. presence or even adopt it as part of our personality.
negative self-image.
detachment from self-talk.
Unrealistic expectations.
detachment from role or peer pressures.
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unquiet mind 163 At the same time as pursuing meditation, centres around two main unhelpful trains of thought, worriers approaches. First, it can help us identify may avoid confronting anxieties in themeditation, false and centres unhelpful means often At the same timetheir as pursuing around two we main the real unhelpful world. Avoidance, though, only use to deal with or suppress our worries trains of thought, worriers approaches. First, it can help us identify perpetuates anxiety, since it their closes off in (see Second, bymeans focusing our may avoid confronting anxieties thebelow). false and unhelpful we often the realof world. Avoidance, though, use to deal withpresent or suppress the possibility it being disproved by only attention on the andour worries anxiety, it closes off encouraging (see below).us Second, our a better perpetuates outcome than wassince feared. to let by go focusing of thinking the possibility of it being disproved by attention on the present and The part that mindfulness can play about the future, it can train us to a better outcome than was feared. encouraging us to let go of thinking in dealing The withpart ourthat anxieties, in addition come to terms with uncertainty mindfulness can play about the future, it can train us to to building our resilience through (see page 29 ). with uncertainty in dealing with our anxieties, in addition come to1terms to building our resilience through
unquiet mind 163
(see page 129 ).
How you try to control your anxieties How you try to control your anxieties None of the strategies is likely to succeed in keeping Mindfulness, Nonefollowing of the following strategies is likely to succeed in keepinganxiety anxiety at at bay. bay. Mindfulness, which involves acceptance ratherrather than than control, offers a much approach. which involves acceptance control, offers a muchmore morerealistic realistic approach. Bottling your worries Bottling up up your worries
is draining, it takes a greateffort effortofof will. will. ItIt This isThis draining, sincesince it takes a great also brings with it an additional worry: the thought also brings with it an additional worry: the thought that that your efforts are not as successful as you need them to your efforts are not as successful as you need them to be. Moreover, when we conceal our anxieties, we may be. Moreover, whenshowing we conceal anxieties, we may find ourselves variousour types of compensation find ourselves variousortypes of compensation behaviour,showing such as passive aggressive tendencies. behaviour, such as passive or aggressive tendencies.
reasoning witHwitH youryour worries reasoning worries
This approach fails to recognize that anxiety This approach fails to recognize that anxiety is an emotion, and not subject to the rules of is anthinking. emotion, and alone not subject to win the rules of logical Reason will never logical thinking. Reason terms. alone will never win a battle conducted on anxiety’s
a battle conducted on anxiety’s terms.
Distracting yourself This prolongs the underlying Distracting yourself problem, and may lead to extreme Thisbehaviour prolongs– the suchunderlying as excessive problem, and may lead tofresh extreme drinking – that causes behaviour – such asaccount. excessive anxiety on its own
drinking – that causes fresh anxiety on its own account.
positive tHinking This sounds promising, but again involves engaging in a potentially positive exhausting battle oftHinking attitudes. Positive This sounds promising, thinking needs constant effort, but and again as involvessetting, engaging in will a potentially the default anxiety win through quite frequently. exhausting battle of attitudes. Positive
thinking needs constant effort, and as the default setting, anxiety will win through quite frequently.
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