Localite

Rings Sized While You Wait

DESIGN • RESTORE • REPAIR • RESTYLE COMPLIMENTARY DIAMOND CLEANING

RING SIzING • CuSTOM DESIGN • ExPERT WATCh REPAIR GIA INSuRANCE APPRAISALS • PRONG REPAIR/RETIPPING hAND ENGRAvING • STONE REPLACEMENT • PEARL RESTRINGING BELLE MEADE PLAzA 4548 harding Road Next to Newks in Belle Meade 615-269-3288 bellemeadejewelry.com Same Day Jewelry Repair By Appointment

Like us on Facebook for the latest video examples of watch and jewelry repair.

The Real Deal

A lesson from Valentine

‘Tis the month for love, and if the aisles of Walgreens are to be our guide, love is found in a cellophane-wrapped heart-shaped box with chocolates inside that were made in a factory in Mexico. I can’t help but note the irony in the fact that our country’s quintessential expression of love is formed by the hands of a people we choose to greet with a big, beautiful wall. But getting cynical and snarky is hardly going to help either.

Valentine, for whom this month’s holiday is obviously named, was believed to be a Roman priest who was sentenced to a wretched death for marrying young couples against the wishes of the emperor (who preferred to send the men off to war unbetrothed and therefore less death-wary). Love wasn’t all roses and a reservation at Bastion. It was about committing to something with faith despite the explicit danger. It was about committing to a person or a principle despite (or perhaps precisely because of) the total self-sacrifice required. That’s what parenting is. That’s what marriage is — in a perfect world.

I was talking to a friend about this recently, who was recalling the wisdom of the priest who married her and her husband (incidentally when they were quite young). He said that love was 10 percent emotion and 90 percent work. Isn’t that the truth even though everywhere we look — Instagram, the cover of People, romcoms — the image of love looks more like 10 percent emotion and 90 percent, well, image.

Fake it until you make it is good advice in starting a business, but I don’t think it’s the most helpful approach to love. Cellophanewrapped chocolates and selfies are faking it. Being in the trenches, forgiving, withholding judgment, sticking it out in sickness and in health, loaded and broke, blissful or broken — that is the real deal. It is work, and we are inherently bad at it because we are judgmental and self-righteous and scared. Or at least I am.

The other thing is, love wasn’t supposed to be reserved for our families and closest friends. It was supposed to be our guiding principle for everything. We were supposed to love every single other person as much as we love ourselves, even if those people are “on the other side” — of the political spectrum, of the tracks, of the boxing ring we have built around ourselves to duke it out like fools.

What if we did actually love our neighbors as ourselves? (And our neighbors included any person who is a person, too.) The ratio of that love would be 0 percent emotion and 100 percent work, at least to start. But I suspect that the better we got at it, the less like work it might seem. What if we marked this month’s holiday not simply with roses for our spouse but with real daily kindness toward him or her and to our fellow travelers? What if we reached beyond image and shared story? There are plenty of walls we have the power to take down. Valentine would be proud.

Hollywood’s biggest night on the Belcourt’s big screens!

belcourt.org/red-carpet-evening

The Belcourt’s programs are generously supported throughout the year by the Metro Arts Nashville Office of Arts + Culture and the Tennessee Arts Commission. * This event is not sponsored by or affiliated with the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Please note that this is a 21+ event. For an ADA accommodation, contact Melinda Morgan at 615-846-3150 x12.