Challenge June 2013 - PRIDE Edition

SPECIAL PRIDE CENTERFOLD: GAAMC at a Glance Inside Challenge: Farewell to One of Our Most Beloved Members, page 3

CHALLENGE

The Newsletter of the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County – Serving New Jersey’s GLBTI Communities Continuously Since 1972

Volume 39, Issue 5, June 2013

Are You Proud?

by Andy Skurna

Over the years I’ve heard comments, both positive and negative, about pride. Many have asked, “If your sexual identity is not something you can choose, then how can you claim to be proud of it?” I’ve heard the same about people in recovery, and people have been gushing about racial pride or hometown pride forever.

When it comes to LGBT pride, there are plenty of reasons to hold our heads up strong and...PROUD! Our community has endured and continues to endure unfathomable torture by those who’d call themselves righteous.

Our community reaches out in an effort to protect our youth from harm by their biological families, their schools, their elected officials and narrow-minded neighbors. Right here in Morris County we helped launch Rainbow Café Morris as a safe place for LGBTIQA teens to meet and form networks of support. There are now talks of a Rainbow Café coming soon to Sussex County, and several other communities throughout New Jersey.

Our unified struggle for full equal rights and responsibilities is bearing fruit.

Nations throughout Europe and South America are smashing closets and granting full marriage,

H a p p y Pr i de This Rainbow Pride looks great in color at issuu.com/ gaamc/docs/!

adoption, and employment equality. As I write this, here in the US we can count 12 states and the District of Columbus as having state level marriage equality. And, before the next issue of CHALLENGE is printed, the Supreme Court of the United States will deliver decisions that may wipe out states’ rights to discriminate, and may finally correct the mark of shame on our Constitution known as the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

GAAMC has been there almost from the beginning of the modern LGBT Rights movement. We have participated in nearly a hundred parades and marches in New Jersey, New York, and Washington DC. We have done, and continue to do, our part to educate our straight neighbors about LGBT life. We often reach out to others to offer support, and opportunities to get to know each other. We have welcomed over 100,000 LGBTs to our weekly meetings over the years.

Am I proud? YES! Am I proud that I am gay? No. No more than I am proud to be Caucasian or male. But, I am proud of my community. I am proud to call my GAAMC family among my friends. I am proud of the strength and grace our community has maintained in the face of adversity. And I am equally proud when we push back against injustices. I am proud that we continue to learn, to grow.

If you are not proud, then my guess is that you’re passing up the MANY opportunities to step forward and make this world a better place. We have achieved much, but there is still so much more to do.

Please reach out to GAAMC, or to another LGBT group or project and make a contribution. I am confident that you will soon feel the love, and share in our Pride!

REMEMBER to read us online at issuu.com

where Challenge is packed with clickable links and full color!

Inside Challenge Challenge Information.... ................................ page 2 GAAMC Events.............................................. page 2 Bulletin Board.............................................. page 3 Obituaries: Paul Greenberg, Pete Michalowski....... page 3 Pride Month Is Here!.......................................page 3 Gleanings: Queer news from around the world .... page 4 Calendar ..................................................... page 6 Special Insert: Pride 2013.......... between pages 6 and 7 Poetry: The Day Machismo Died....................... page 8 The Little Box of Concerts............................... page 8 Dancing to Architecture: music reviews............. page 9 April Board Meeting Minutes........................... page 11 This Month's Contributors............................... page 11 Good Eats! recipes....................................... page 11 GAAMC Information...................................... page 12

Page 2 CHALLENGE June 2013 CHALLENGE Volume 39, Number 5 June 2013 ISSN 0277-1675 Staff Editor .....................Allen Neuner Assistant Editor ............. Bill Stella Advertising Manager ............. open Circulation Manager ............. open List Manager ................ Sue Harris Submissions The deadline for all articles, inserts, and advertisements is the fifteenth of the previous month. All submissions must be provided as electronic files.

E-mail submissions to Challenge @ GAAMC.org.

Ad Rates Single issue: Full page, $125.00; Half page, $85.00; Quarter page, $45.00; Business card, $25.00. For multi-issue rates, contact the Editor at Challenge @ GAAMC.org.

GAAMC members may place one free classified ad per month, of no more than 200 characters in length.

Change of Address Please let us know your new address! All address changes should be sent to the List Manager at ChangeAddress@GAAMC.org.

Challenge is Š 2013-2014 by the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County, a 501(c)3 tax-exempt not-for-profit corporation. All rights reserved. All articles reflect the views of the original contributors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of GAAMC, its officers, or executive board. All copyrights revert to the original contributors upon publication. No portion of this publication may be reproduced without the express written permission of the contributor. All articles, contributions, and advertisements are printed at the discretion of the Editor and/or GAAMC Executive Board.

GAAMC Events for June 2013 Discussion Groups OpenTalk: A regular weekly discussion group, open to all. 7:00, in the Library.

Moderators: June 3: Elias; June 10: Gordon (Men), Sherri (Women); June 17: Kerry; June 24: Sherri. Discussion group does not meet on Film Festival nights.

Main Events

All start at 8:00 unless otherwise listed.

June 3: Jersey Pride Share Fest! You've kicked off Pride season in Asbury Park with Jersey Pride and you've had some adventures. Come share your experiences with your GAAMC friends! Did you forget to wear your sunscreen in all the excitement? Did you march with GAAMC in the Pride Parade in Asbury? Are you going to march in New York City June 23rd?

This is just the beginning of a month celebrating everything that makes you proud to be part of the GLBT community!

June 10: We love one another's company, yet there are times where we men only want the energy of our brothers or we women only want the energy of our sisters. The Women-Only and Men-Only groups we held this spring were extremely popular, so GAAMC dedicates summertime space to flex your gender forces.

NOTE: These extended discussion groups start at 7:00 pm.

June 17: GAAMC holds a special presentation of the film Bully.

Many of us were bullied as children, and some of us even as adults.

How do we break the cycle for ourselves and for future generations? Bullying is not about sexuality, it's about breaking what makes us unique. Break the cycle instead. Cherish your uniqueness.

Join us for this great 2011 documentary and the post-film conversation. NOTE: The movie will start at 7:00 pm.

June 24: Tw o e v e n t s t o n i g h t ! First will be the inaugural meet & greet for our new group for LGBT parents (as distinct from parents of LGBT children). This group plans to meet regularly for discussion of topics of interest to parents who do not fit society's "usual mom-and-dad" role for couples, including planning and creation of family events, and general socializing. Tonight's other big event is a presentation on priest sexual abuse, featuring speaker Robert Hoatson. Mr. Hoatson is founder of Road to Recovery, an organization assisting survivors of clergy sexual abuse. Don't miss this lively discussion!

Coming in July!

July 1: Summer Lovin' What have been your best dates in summertimes past? Have you recently had a date, the story of which you want to share in full detail? How about a date you have on the horizon — How'd you set it up? Share your tips, trips, and quips with your GAAMC friends tonight!

July 8: Ice Cream Social Yes, it's cool treat time again!

Return with us to a not-so-distant past where sharing a frosty concoction was the perfect way to spend a summer evening. And if you're naughty and you make a mess, it's a perfect chance to invite a friend to help <ahem> clean you up!

Note: All programs and discussion groups are subject to change without notice. For the most up-to-date information, go to GAAMC.org .

June 2013

CHALLENGE

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Pride Month is Here!

Paul Greenberg Our hearts are burdened by the deepest sorrow as we announce the loss of one of GAAMC’s members. Paul Greenberg, the quiet guy with the heart of gold, was tragically killed in an automobile accident on the afternoon of May 13th.

If you’ve been to a GAAMC social in the past 5+ years, then you’ve enjoyed some of Paul’s generosity. He loved to give and loved to share. His favorite treats to share were GIANT strawberries that he and his mother hand-dipped in chocolate.

Paul, a longtime member of GAAMC, served multiple terms on our Board of Trustees, and he was instrumental in forming our Fundraising Committee.

You may best recognize Paul as GAAMC’s (and Macy’s) Star Walker in AIDS Walk NYC. Annually, for more than 20 years, Paul, with the help of many, many family members and friends, raised tens of thousands of dollars, and probably just as many spirits, for the cause most dear to him, helping those living with HIV/AIDS . Paul was preparing to walk in this year’s AIDS Walk NYC. We have every confidence his spirit was there among the thousands of walkers.

If you would like to make a memorial donation in his memory to Paul’s favorite cause, please call 212-807-WALK (9255) or contact awnyinfo@aidswalk.net.

Memorial donations may also be made to GAAMC in Paul’s memory.

Paul is survived by his beloved mother, Ruth Greenberg, his brother Martin, and Martin's wife and children.

Bulletin Board Hudson Pride invites all GLBTQ youth to their 2013 Youth Connect Prom on June 15th in Jersey City from 7 to 11 pm!

Reservations are required, so for more information contact Stephanie Mills at 201-963-4779 x118, or at stephanie@hudsonpride.org.

Garden State Equality seeks walkers to join them for their fourth annual Equality Walk, being held June 22nd at 4 pm at beautiful Erie Park in Montclair.

Team and individual walkers are welcome at this fundraising event supporting the many projects done by GSE in the fight for full equality for all! For more information, or to register, visit GardenStateEquality.org.

June is Pride Month and once again GAAMC will be celebrating by taking part in several pride festivities.

Please consider joining us in some or all of these events.

When I say GAAMC is taking part in them, I mean YOU! GAAMC is its members — if our members don’t participate, GAAMC doesn’t participate.

Don’t expect someone else to represent you.

But don’t think of attending these events as an obligation.

Whether it is a small or large festival, a huge march in NYC or a somewhat smaller parade in Asbury Park, each of these events is fun! I’ve been attending some of them for forty years and I still have a blast at them.

Jersey Pride in Asbury Park kicks off the month with the state’s largest festival and parade on Sunday, June 2nd.

GAAMC will have a tent and table at the festival from noon to late afternoon and will hand out Pride Guides. We will also march in the parade that starts at City Hall at noon.

We need volunteers to staff the table and march behind out banner.

On Sunday, June 9th, the third annual North Jersey (formerly South Orange – Maplewood) Pride will be held from Noon to 6 at Memorial Park (opposite the train station) in Maplewood. This is a smaller, family-friendly event than Asbury Park with a warm, neighborly atmosphere. It is also the closest Pride event to our home in Morristown. Again, GAAMC will have a tent and table and will be distributing literature.

Sunday, June 30th, is the granddaddy of all Pride events, the March down Fifth Avenue in New York. If you’ve never been a part of a group of half a million people marching and cheering, you’re missing a thrilling experience. We won’t be notified of exactly where GAAMC will be starting until about a week before the March, so keep an eye on our Facebook page for information.

On the web, check out www.JerseyPride.org , www.NorthJerseyPride.org, and www.NYCPride.org for more information and to whet your appetite. Keep an eye on our Facebook page or Yahoo group for further information or write to prideevents@gaamc.org.

Pete Michalowski Pete Michalowski, past President of GAAMC, passed away April 17 in Florida at the age of 72. Pete became active in GAAMC right after the organization’s founding and served on the Executive Committee for several years. In addition to holding the office of President for two years he also served a term as Vice-President. Pete was active in all aspects of GAAMC, hosting committee meetings, road rallies, film nights, and fundraisers at his home in Stanhope. The first issue of Challenge was published in April 1975 during his presidency. And, like most activists then and now, he was willing to do whatever needed to be done for the organization. For example, in addition to his leadership, he appeared in many GAAMC holiday shows playing parts as varied as Santa Claus and Mae West. And he did all this at a time when he could have lost his teaching job if it were known he was gay. Pete was truly one of the giants of GAAMC’s early days.

Page 4 CHALLENGE June 2013

Gleanings

Queer news from around the world The White House released a list of 10 openly LGBT elected and appointed officials it honored on Harvey Milk Day, May 22nd. The group is the first to be named "Harvey Milk Champions of Change." The ten honorees are: Georgia State Representative Simone Bell South Dakota State Senator Angie Buhl O'Donnell Minnesota State Representative Karen Clark Redondo Beach, CA Mayor Michael A. Gin Hawaii State Civil Rights Commissioner Kim Coco Iwamoto California Secretary of Natural Resources John Laird California State Senator Ricardo Lara Johnson County, IA Recorder Kim Painter Cincinnati City Councilman Chris Seelbach Colorado State Senator Pat Steadman. (GayPolitics.com) Rhode Island, Delaware, and Minnesota have become the 10th, 11th, and 12th states, respectively, to legalize marriage equality. Rhode Island governor Lincoln Chafee (I), Delaware governor Jack Markell (D), and Minnesota governor Mark Dayton (DFL) all signed into law bills passed by both houses of their state's legislatures granting same-sex couples the freedom to marry.

Same-sex marriages in Delaware take effect on July 1st; in Rhode Island and Minnesota, they will be legal as of August 1st. (The Providence Journal; Star Tribune, Minneapolis; Reuters) The Senate Judiciary Committee voted to approve an immigration reform bill after Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT) withdrew an amendment that would have provided relief for binational same-sex couples. Republican Senators had indicated to Democrats that they would withdraw their support of the bill had the amendment remained. Activists expressed anger with both parties, calling the withdrawal "shameful". (Metro Weekly, Washington DC) Michael McShane, an openly gay Oregon judge, has been confirmed as a District Court Judge for the District of Oregon, becoming the sixth openly gay person to serve on the federal bench. The nomination ends an eightmonth wait for Judge McShane since he was first nominated by President Obama. Four other openly gay people are awaiting Senate confirmation for their appointments to the federal bench. (Washington Blade) A bill to supersede state bans on same-sex couples adopting children is scheduled to be introduced in Congress. Representatives Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL) and John Lewis (D-GA) cosponsor the House version. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) introduced the Senate version. "[The ban on adoption] is truly discrimination at its worst: hurtful to the people who are being denied the opportunity to become parents, and harmful to thousands of vulnerable children being denied the opportunity for stable,

loving, permanent homes," said Jody Huckaby, executive director of PFLAG. (Washington Blade) The Boy Scouts of America's national council voted to end its ban on openly gay youth members. However, the ban on gay adult members or volunteers still remains in effect. The measure was approved by over 60% of the national council's 1400 members during the Scouts' annual meeting in Texas.

The change takes effect January 1st. (CNN) The U.S. House Sergeant at Arms has approved a spousal ID for the husband of Representative Mark Pocan (D-WI), marking the first time the privilege has been granted to a samesex partner of a member of Congress. "I think it's an important step toward recognizing equality, and we're very proud of receiving it. We also realize there's still a lot more work to do for same-sex couples that work for the federal government," Pocan said. (Washington Blade) Recent polls in various states indicate sharply increased support for marriage equality, 56% of Virginians now support marriage rights for same-sex couples, a more than 20% jump in two years, according to a new Washington Post poll. In Michigan, a poll by Chicago-based research firm the Glengariff Group finds support has increased about 25% over the last year, with 56.8 percent of registered voters now in favor of allowing gays and lesbians to marry. 55% of Arizonans support same-sex marriage, even though an anti-marriage equality amendment was approved in 2008.

(Washington Post; Detroit News; TalkingPointsMemo.com) The American Unity Fund, a new Republican political group aimed at growing support within the party for the rights of same-sex couples to marry, is credited with helping to persuade all five GOP state senators in Rhode Island to vote in favor of a marriage-equality bill. "What we want is for legislators to hear from their straight friends and neighbors, people who will say, 'I'm a Republican, and I want this for my neighbors and my friends,'Â " said Jeff Cook-McCormac, a senior adviser to the group.

(The New York Times) The Philadelphia City Council passed a first-of-itskind LGBT equality bill. Bill 130224, which passed in a 14-3 vote, would not only give a tax-credit incentive to businesses that offered employee health plans that include same-sex partners and their children, but would also include a substantial number of landmark provisions for the transgender community. The bill, introduced by Councilman Jim Kenney (D), revamps the cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s health-care plan to ban discrimination against non-union transgender city employees and would instate a Transgender Health Tax Credit that would encourage companies to offer transgender-specific health-insurance coverage to transgender persons. City buildings would also be required to provide gender-neutral bathrooms, and (continued on next page)

Governors sign same-sex marriage into law.

From top: Lincoln Chafee; Jack Markell; Mark Dayton

June 2013

CHALLENGE

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Gleanings

(continued from previous page) the measure would also clarify what constitutes employment discrimination in the city’s nondiscrimination law.

(Philadelphia Gay News) New York City faced a wave of gay-bashing incidents in early May. In six separate incidents, single gay men and gay couples have been attacked in the streets, in one case leading to the shooting death of Mark Carson while walking through Greenwich Village with a companion. Most recently, in the hours following an anti-gay-crime rally at the site of Carson's death, two new attacks took place, one against Philadelphia event promoter Dan Contarino on Avenue D, the other against a Hispanic couple in SoHo. (The New York Times; Queerty.com; Washington Post; NBC) A transgender veteran of the U.S. Navy has been informed that her gender marker has been changed from male to female in official records, an unprecedented move that advocates say is a sign that trans issues are gaining traction in the Pentagon. Openly transgender individuals are still banned from serving in the U.S. military. (BuzzFeed.com) The Nevada Assembly gave final approval to a bill that would add gender identity and expression to the state’s hate crimes law. “This does not afford victims special rights,” said gay Assemblyman Andrew Martin (D) before the measure passed by a 30-11 vote. “This is a statement of what our society is, and that we will not tolerate the systematic targeting of individuals who are historically disadvantaged groups.” The state Senate has already approved the bill. A spokesperson for Republican Governor Brian Sandoval said the governor supports the measure. Also in Nevada, the Assembly passed a constitutional amendment repealing a ban on same-sex marriages; the measure has already been approved by the state Senate.

It must be approved by both houses again in 2015 before being sent to the voters in 2016. (Washington Blade; Las Vegas Review-Journal) The Michigan Supreme Court has declined to hear a case that sought to reverse a state agency's decision to allow domestic partners of state workers to receive benefits. The case was brought by the state attorney general, who said the policy conflicts with the state's constitutional ban on marriage equality. (Crain's Detroit Business) Local governments in Texas violate the state constitution when they offer domestic partner benefits to employees in same-sex relationships, according to an opinion issued by state Attorney General Greg Abbott, who cited the state constitution's ban on same-sex marriages and similar arrangements. "I am not surprised that once again he is more interested in dividing Texans for political gain than bringing them together to make Texas stronger and more prosperous," said openly gay Fort Worth City Councilman Joel Burns, responding to Abbott's nonbinding opinion. (Dallas Voice) The Puerto Rican Legislature approved legislation that bans LGBT discrimination in employment. However, under pressure from the extreme religious right, sections of the bill that would have banned discrimination in h ou si n g, p u b li c a c c om m od a t i on s, a n d government services were stripped from the bill in the House of Representatives. Earlier,

San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulín Cruz mandated that the Puerto Rican capital’s police department to equally apply the island’s current domestic violence laws, regardless of the reported victim’s sexual orientation. She also signed a second executive order that bans discrimination against the city’s municipal employees based on their sexual orientation or gender identity and expression. (Washington Blade) Brazil's National Council of Justice, a court with jurisdiction over Brazil's judiciary, said that notary publics must register civil unions as marriages if a same-sex couple requests it. The ruling is seen as a step toward marriage equality, but conservatives have so far blocked passage of a national law that would establish it in all 27 Brazilian states. (BBC) French President Francois Hollande signed into law a bill allowing same-sex couples to marry and adopt. It came a day after the nation's top court, the Constitutional Council, ruled that the bill adheres to the French constitution. Many conservatives and the Catholic Church opposed the move, prompting hundreds of thousands of protesters to march in Paris as politicians debated the bill. France is now the ninth European country to allow same-sex marriage. (CNN) A bid to legalize same-sex marriage in Northern Ireland has failed. Members of the Democratic Unionist Party, leading a coalition of other unionist parties, voted down a motion at the Assembly, Northern Ireland's unicameral legislature, to call on the power-sharing Executive branch to legislate marriage equality. Northern Ireland remains the only part of the UK without marriage rights for gay couples. Church leaders had urged Assembly members to vote against the legislation, with the Catholic Church asserting marriage was between a man and a woman. Amnesty International has warned of a likely legal challenge. "States may not discriminate with regards to the right to marry and found a family, on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity," Patrick Corrigan, Amnesty's Northern Ireland program director, said. (Belfast Telegraph) An aggressive strain of gonorrhea that does not respond to any currently available antibiotics could be worse than the HIV/AIDS epidemic because it can cause septic shock and death in a matter of days, according to one doctor. So far the strain, discovered two years ago, has been found in but not been detected outside Japan. William Smith, executive director of the National Coalition of STD Directors, said, "This is very dangerous. It's an emergency situation." (CNBC) John Paulk, one-time poster boy for the ex-gay movement, publicly apologized in April for promoting conversion therapy as a way to "cure" gay men and lesbians. Paulk also revealed that he and his wife, Anne, who describes herself as an ex-lesbian, are divorcing after 21 years of marriage. Paulk's straight life started to collapse when he was spotted at a Washington, DC gay bat in 2000. He left the anti-gay group Focus on the Family in 2003, and opened a catering business in Portland, OR in 2005. Paulk now lives as a gay man in Portland. (The Oregonian) Jim Kolbe, an openly gay Republican from Arizona who served in the U.S. House of Representatives for more than two decades, married his partner of eight years, Hector Alfonso, in Washington, D.C. “We’re very happy,” Kolbe said. (Arizona Daily Star)

From top: John Paulk; Jim Kolbe

Page 6 CHALLENGE June 2013

June 2013 Calendar

Recurring Contact Information

* Hackensack Peer Support Groups: 800-508-7577; www.njbuddies.org † Pride Center, Highland Park: 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org ‡ Hudson Pride Connections Center: 201-963-4779; HudsonPride.org λ LGBT Center Rainbow Lounge, Princeton: www.princeton.edu/lgbt ♦ North Jersey PrimeTimers: www.meetup.com/North-Jersey-Primetimers Monday – Friday 8:00 am to 4:00 pm - HIV testing, Morristown; 973-889-6802 9:00 am to 1:00 pm - HIV testing, Asbury Park; 800-947-0020 10:00 am to 5:00 pm - HiTOPS Health Center, Princeton; www.hitops.org; 609-683-5155 x 211 Every Monday 10:30 am - The Wellness Community, Newark; 973-565-0300; info @ hyacinth.org 6:30 pm - Yoga, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - GAAMC, Morristown (see page 2) 7:00 pm - Bowling, Union; merenl @ comcast.net 7:00 pm - S.E.L.F. HIV Men’s support group, Hackensack * 7:30 pm - New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus choir practice, Princeton; 609-396-7774; www.njgmc.org 7:30 pm - Overeaters Anonymous, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Bowling, Green Brook; qcrollers @ aol.com 8:00 pm - Wellness Group, Jersey City ‡ Every Tuesday 12:30 pm - The Wellness Community, Newark; 973-565-0300; info @hyacinth.org 4:00 pm - Treatment Adherence Support Group, Jersey City; 201-432-1134; info @hyacinth.org 6:30 pm - Transview, Jersey City ‡ 6:30 pm - AA Group, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - NA Group, Jersey City ‡ 7:30 pm - Tuesday Night Lesbian Connection, Bound Brook; 908-791-3764 7:30 pm - Men’s HIV support group, Asbury Park; 732-775-5084; apstillpoz @ yahoo.com 7:30 pm - Positive Yoga, Oradell * 8:45 pm - Bowling, Belleville; 973-256-5936; NJGLB @ aol.com 9:00 pm - Bowling, Jersey City; 201-933-6028; JoeyNJ @ aol.com 9:15 pm - Bowling, Edison; 732-548-4550; cnjgbl @ yahoo.com 01 Sat 11:00 am - Health & Fitness Rebirth Explosion, Jersey City ‡ 2:30 pm - First and Third for GLBTI youth, Princeton; 609-683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 4:00 pm - Princeton BTGALA Annual Meeting and Reception, Princeton λ 11:00 pm - "After the Tents" Reunions Dance Party, Princeton λ 02 Sun 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-509-0118; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 6:30 pm - Gay Men’s Opera Club; 732-249-9034; hagol @ msn.com 03 Mon 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero @ umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Ocean; schiffman @ rocketmail.com 8:00 pm - Young Men's Social Network, Highland Park † 04 Tue 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, New Brunswick; www.GPBN.net

Every Wednesday 10:30 am - The Wellness Community, Jersey City; 201-432-1134; info @hyacinth.org 6:00 pm - Positive People peer support group, Hackensack * 6:00 pm - SAGE, Jersey City ‡ 6:30 pm - AA Group, Jersey City ‡ 7:30 pm - Men’s Living Out group, Highland Park; njwarrior @ aol.com † 7:30 pm - Gay Men’s Coming Out group, Highland Park; pdumpert @ gmail.com † 8:30 pm - Pride Night meeting, Newark Every Thursday 6:00 pm - Our Youth weekly support group, Jersey City; www.myspacenj.org 6:30 pm - Ties Like Mine, Jersey City ‡ 6:30 pm - Double Jeopardy peer support group, Hackensack * 6:30 pm - Hudson Men of Pride, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - Sexual Assault Survivor Support, Princeton; www.hitops.org 7:30 pm - Rainbows on Cleveland Street, Orange; 973-256-5936; rbowsoncleveland @ aol.com 7:30 pm - Writers group, Highland Park † Every Friday 3:00 pm - Youth Connect, Jersey City ‡ 5:00 pm - Gym Without Walls, Jersey City ‡ Every Sunday 10:45 am - MCC of Christ the Liberator, Highland Park; tombohache10 @ gmail.com Noon - St. Francis of Assisi Church, Glen Ridge; 973-731-7765; stfrancisnj.org 2:30 pm - Liberation in Truth Unity Fellowship Church, Newark; 973-621-2100 5:30 pm - Central Jersey Rainbows Bowling League, Bradley Beach; CJRBowling @ gmail.com 7:30 pm - LGBT Fellowship, Belleville; 973-751-0616 7:30 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - NJ Women Coming Out Support, Highland Park † 05 Wed 5:30 pm - Hudson County HIV/AIDS Services Planning Council, Jersey City ‡ 7:30 pm - Gay Dad’s discussion group, Highland Park † 06 Thu 4:00 pm - The After School Hang Out, Highland Park † 6:30 pm - Real Open Talk for Life, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - Coffee Night, Edison; njlgh.onefireplace.com 07 Fri 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack * 7:30 pm - Karaoke, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change", Nutley ♦ 08 Sat 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Highland Park † 1:00 pm - Women of Pride, Jersey City ‡ 4:00 pm - "Mame" and The Raven, New Hope, PA ♦ 7:30 pm - Movie Social, Highland Park †

June 2013 08 Sat 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick gay Catholic liturgy; 732-968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 09 Sun 1:00 pm - Faith Community Meeting, Jersey City ‡ 6:00 pm - Gay Men’s Classical Song Club, Kingston; pbrown02 @ worldnet.att.net 10 Mon 6:30 pm - HIV Testing, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Morris County, Mendham; 973-727-5288; pflag.morris @ verizon.net 7:30 pm - PFLAG, Princeton; 609-663-5155; www.pflagprinceton.org 7:30 pm - FetChat, Highland Park † 11 Tue 7:00 pm - Bisexual, Bicurious, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - PCNJ Board of Trustees meeting, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - Yoga for Men, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Men's Social Night, Highland Park † 12 Wed 7:30 am - Living Out Women, Highland Park † 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, Asbury Park; www. GPBN.net 6:00 pm - Booked for Supper, Highland Park † 6:30 pm - North Jersey Prime Timers' monthly meetup, Little Falls ♦ 13 Thu 7:00 pm - Qspot Book Club, Point Pleasant; outdoorgirl @ optonline.net 7:00 pm - Under the Rainbow, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - PFLAG of North Jersey, South Orange; 908-789-7489; pflagwaver @ aol.com 7:30 pm - Alternate Thursdays, Montclair; kjdinkin @ comcast.net 7:30 pm - Kollege of Kink, Highland Park † 14 Fri 7:30 pm - Rock Band/Guitar Hero, Highland Park † 15 Sat 2:30 pm - First and Third for GLBTI youth, Princeton; 609-683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 7:00 pm - Youth Connect 2013 LGBTQ Prom, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - Rainbow Bowling, Bradley Beach; 732-774-4540 7:00 pm - NJ Gay Film Society & Potluck Dinner Club, location TBA; gayfilms @ bigfoot.com 7:30 pm - Games Night, Highland Park † 16 Sun 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-509-0118; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 4:00 pm - TrueSelves trans support group, Highland Park † 17 Mon 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero @ umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Ocean; schiffman @ rocketmail.com 7:00 pm - Dinner, Millburn ♦ 8:00 pm - Young Men's Social Network, Highland Park † 18 Tue 7:00 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Highland Park †

CHALLENGE

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7:30 pm - Lesbian Alliance of Princeton; 609-924-8174; Loisj @ msn.com 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Hunterdon County, Flemington; 908-752-1370; pflaghc @ yahoo.com 8:00 pm - PFLAG of Bergen County, Paramus; 201-287-0318; www.bergenpflag.org 8:00 pm - NJ Women, Secaucus; info @ njwomen.org 19 Wed 7:30 pm - United in Grace discussion/support group, Jersey City; 201-946-0650; greg.perez @ comcast.net 7:30 pm - Havurah board meeting, Edison; njlgh.onefireplace.com 8:30 pm - Bowling, Boonton ♦ 20 Thu 4:00 pm - The After School Hang Out, Highland Park † 6:00 pm - New Volunteer Orientation, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - GAAMC board meeting, Morristown; All GAAMC members are invited to attend.

7:00 pm - GLSEN Training, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - PCNJ HIV Planning Committee, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - NJ Women Coming Out Support Group, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Northwest NJ, Sparta; 973-729-9909 7:30 pm - Volunteer Group Meeting, Jersey City ‡ 21 Fri 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack * 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick social; 732-968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 8:00 pm - Out of the Box open mic night, Highland Park (sign-up begins 7:30); outoftheboxinfo @ mac.com 8:00 pm - Gay Pride Shabbat Service, Edison; njlgh.onefireplace.com 22 Sat 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Highland Park † 1:00 pm - Women of Pride, Jersey City ‡ 2:00 pm - Cookout, Rockaway ♦ 7:00 pm - Gay Bowling, Asbury Lanes, Asbury Park; 732-776-6160 24 Mon 7:30 pm - FetChat, Highland Park † 25 Tue 7:00 pm - Bisexual, Bi-curious and Allies Support Group, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Stonewall Democrats, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - Yoga for Men, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Men's Social, Highland Park † 26 Wed 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, Asbury Park; www. GPBN.net 7:30 pm - Living Out Women, Highland Park † 27 Thu 6:30 pm - Charlie Brown's, Millburn ♦ 7:00 pm - Under the Rainbow, Highland Park † 28 Fri 7:30 pm - Living Soulfully, Highland Park † 29 Sat 6:30 pm - Day at The Woods Campground, Lehighton, PA ♦

Page 8 CHALLENGE June 2013

The Day Machismo Died © MMXIII by Tony Puma

We meet.

We walk.

Down that wide Avenue.

Impervious to our surroundings.

Just us 2.

Holding hands, sometimes.

Laughing and touching.

Enjoying our company.

What’s that I hear?

What’s that I see?

What’s that I fear?

MACHISMO!

T H E L I T T L E B O X O F C ONC E RT S ™ GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!

Q ◂ JERSEY PRIDE

Sunday, June 2, Noon to 6 PM, Festival grounds at Ocean and 5th Avenues in Asbury Park, NJ Featured performers on the Festival Stage: Supreme Hip-Hop Divas God-dess and She Alex Newell (Glee's "Unique") JerseyPride.org

Q ◂ MELISSA FERRICK

Tuesday, June 4, Doors 6:30 PM , Show 7:30 PM Rockwood Music Hall 196 Allen Street, NYC

"One drink minimum; General Admission; Very limited seating; Tickets do not guarantee seats." Translation: In my experience: It's a small venue, the definitive intimate New York experience. Not much personal space, but the room has fantastic acoustics and a friendly atmosphere. Go, experience it for yourself. RockwoodMusicHall.com

Q ◂ NORTH JERSEY PRIDE

A shadow, a snarl, a shove Humans suffocating Humanity the living snuffing-out life.

No fuckin’ matter.

We move-on.

We live.

Sunday, June 9, Noon to 6 PM, Memorial Park Amphitheater, 124 Dunnell Road Maplewood, NJ Featured performers: Antigone Rising, Alexandra Kelly Lori Michaels, Lavender Light Gospel Choir Comedienne Jessica Kirson Well-Strung, the Singing String Quartet A Great Big World – Ian Axel & Chad Vaccarino Marquee Five, Chevonne & The Fuzz The Paper Mill Playhouse Broadway Show Choir NorthJerseyPride.org

Q ◂ THE GO-GO'S, PSYCHEDELIC FURS Sunday, June 16, 7:30 PM Count Basie Theatre, Red Bank, NJ CountBasieTheatre.org

Q ◂ THE RALLY NYC

KEVIN P. SUSZKO, PC Certified Public Accountant

- TAX PLANNING & PREPARATION - FINANCIAL PLANNING - ACCOUNTING SERVICES - DAY & EVENING APPOINTMENTS - OFFICES IN NEW JERSEY & NYC

Friday, June 28, Rally: 7 to 10 PM Pier 26, West St, Tribeca, NYC Featured performers: Vicci Martinez ("The Voice" finalist), Nhojj. Hosted by Pandora Box & Keith Price www.NYCPride.org

Q ◂ OUT IN THE WOODS MUSIC FESTIVAL Saturday, August 10th Come to Easton Mountain Retreat, Greenwich, NY for their 3rd Annual Queer Music Festival!

Enjoy a full day of rockin' live music acts featuring Out-and-Proud artists: The Original Bear Musician, Martin Swinger Bearapalooza's Freddy Freeman Hosted by Rev. Roger "Yolanda" Mapes Namoli Brennett, Jorge Avilla, Sean Kagalis Genres ranging from Rock to Country, Folk to R&B. Check out details and updates at OutInTheWoodsMusicFestival.org

Dancing To Architecture (continued from page 10)

Phone: 973–376–4121 P. O. Box 701 Short Hills, NJ 07078 E-Mail: KPSCPA@GMAIL.COM

Q ◂ Melissa Ferrick ~ The Truth Is New music by Ferrick is always worth the anticipation. The Truth Is has a "street date" of June 4, but here briefly are places you can hear some of it: "Pity Song" premieres at American Songwriter Magazine's dot-com.

"I Don't Want You To Change" is first on a playlist at Facebook.

Find "I Don't Want You To Change" performed live at this year's SXSW Festival on YouTube.

Dancing To Architecture ©2013 Bill Stella. All ©, ® & ™ items included for review purposes are ©, ® & ™ their respective owners. The stylized Q indicates albums by (or significantly contributed to by) Out Bisexuals, Gay Men, Lesbians and Transgendered persons. GAAMC is pronounced "GAY-mick".

June 2013

CHALLENGE

Page 9

The All-Gay June Pride Edition of

Dancing To Architecture™: Music Reviews & News with a Queer Ear

by Bill Realman Stella Featuring

Sacha Sacket ~ Double Gemini

Sacha Sacket Freddy Freeman Lucas Mire Jay Spears Melissa Ferrick

PRIDE. Does great music by Out Gay artists give YOU pride?

It works for me. And I've dedicated much of my energy as a music promoter, reviewer and critic to finding the best music

by Out Gay artists to share with you. In that proud Pride spirit, this Dancing To Architecture is an all-Out Q-Artists Edition.

I hear some readers thinking "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHETHER THE MUSIC IS GAY OR NOT". You think: "Just make it good, dammit. I don't care if they're gay or straight or yiffing upside down from the ceiling, so long as the music's good. It's gotta hit me right here."

If that sounds like you, may I introduce you to Sacha Sacket?*

Q ◂ Sacha Sacket ~ Double Gemini WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE ABOUT SACHA SACKET'S MUSIC? It's just a mystery why Sacket isn't a huge success. His impeccable songwriting, emotional but crystal clear vocals, and piano-(and other keyboards)-based Rock/Dance/Ballad style should have brought him attention at Rufus Wainwright levels.

A talent such as Sacket is the equal of Wainwright or (to take it out of the Out Q arena) David Gray, or Tori Amos (because similar styles and influences trump gender as well as orientation).

Memorable songs, from sharp Rock to tender ballads, set with touches tasteful and twisted, most of it danceable, are all melodically rich and eminently singable.

His songs are smart. They're fun. They deserve better. I think the one missing element is a growing fanbase dedicated to spreading the word. That's why I keep returning our attention to him.

Talent like his can speak for itself, but too many market forces force the same-sounding choices at us. It's up to us to reject hooks meant to trap you, and champion characters that capture your imagination, as in this post Sacket wrote: "Super excited to introduce you to the world of Double Gemini. What does it mean?… I hope the songs will do plenty of explaining.… My stars have finally aligned and a new energy [has come out to] play. See you on the other-side. xx, Sacha" Perhaps his aligned stars haven't brought him stardom only because this decade has seen Sacket choose to release songs individu-

**For those of you who've been reading DTA for awhile, that line should read "May I please try again to introduce you to Sacha Sacket?" Seriously.

Ignore that it's coming from me and pretend that your best friend with similar taste in music knows you'll like Sacha if you'd listen to him.

REMEMBER!

Online at issuu.com, DTA is packed with clickable links and full color!

Song For Jamey

He tries to understand He turns the pages They say he's not a man It burns in stages They say it's such a shame The war and wages They find some kids to blame And turn their pages But no Here's how the story g o e s He died to let you know That the kids won't quit And his heart don't fit And his life is shit © 2013 Sacha Sacket SACHA SACKET

ally then collect from the VIDEO for "SONG FOR JAMEY" them into al- RECORDED LIVE at SHATTO CHAPEL, LOS ANGELES bums later. As an independent artist generating his own ideas, turning those ideas into reality, and independently financing his work, bucking the convention of promoting an album or EP all at once is innovative, but frustrates many listeners' habits.

Thankfully, Double Gemini's new tracks are worth hearing as soon as they arrive. "Song For Jamey" is a phenomenal song, dedicated to Jamey Rodemeyer, a Gay teen who committed suicide because of extreme bullying not long after making an It Gets Better video. "Song" is featured in the "It Gets Better" musical, a touring production Sacket wrote songs for, and a collaboration between Speak Theatre Arts and the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles. (Happily, it has received its first wave of due credit.) The tour’s purpose is to reach young audiences who most need to hear the It Gets Better message (the musical's first performance was in Iowa City, Iowa), reaching folks with the power music has to cross invisible obstacles. Sacket sings his "Song" so clear and true: "Shit" has never literally been sung better. And watch for moments in "Song"s video (at YouTube) which are both tender and quietly gut-punching.

"Low Blow" fuses some upset lyrics to a cool-swagger of an arrangement with an emotive performance as fully-realized as David Byrne (Talking Heads) or Peter Gabriel were at their bitter best.

On "Aim", stratospheric intro-"Ooo"'s and initially-twinkly keys levitate above a dance floor House beat. With the ungrounded energy of a shorted wire, the cracklings of a buzzy, monotone synth for the verse provide cover for the vocal melody to slip between.

"Aim"'s target is Sacket's own lust.

"Cream" embraces the lust that "Aim" so intensely fell for.

Here, lines like "I'm too home alone / Can't you throw a guy a bone?" and "I'm holding back the whole sea / Wanna ride on some rough and foamy waves?" leave no doubt that Sacha is all "Cream"centered, not merely looking for release.

About the album art: The stunning photography was accomplished by Catherine Asanov. Besides the cover photo, an entire themed portfolio can be found at SachaSacket.com. The "models" are all Sacha. At long last (I first printed the cover art in last summer's DTA), I sense that the album title Double Gemini not only evokes "Double Jeopardy" but also, paired with the black and white cover photo (I'm going out on an unconfirmed limb), Double Fantasy, the classic John Lennon/ Yoko Ono "comeback" album. Not an obvious homage, (Sacket is consistently subtler than that), but Asanov's double exposures are "Fantas(ticall)y" entwined.

"Start A Fight" for now is exclusive to Soundcloud. "Cream" is at Sacket's Soundcloud and Bandcamp pages only. The other tracks are also at iTunes and Amazon.

Page 10 CHALLENGE June 2013 Q ◂ Freddy Freeman

~ Just Bear With Me

FREEMAN PROFILED: Freddy has dedicated his life to the Bear music scene. The simply delightful title track "Just Bear With Me" prominently features Nolan Kennedy's charming mandolin. Freddy, his husbear Jay, Nolan and his honey Wil, come together on the equally delightful video (along with two goats and a golden retriever). Further, the song feels like someone must insist of Jimmy Buffett that he do a cover version!

HOT NEWS! New "BearWorld" music video ROCKS! Watch it here.

Freeman is the man behind Bearapalooza, the core of a music subculture you ought to get to know. From his bio: "Freddy Freeman began writing songs in his teens, and learned to play piano and guitar. It wasn’t until his early 30′s that he began to put himself out into the world as a songwriter. His journey has been a study in the meaning of identity, expressing himself first through a blossoming LGBT music scene in NYC in 2001. He quickly took on the role of organizer of various GLBT music events, played Pride festivals, and was nominated three times for Outmusician of the year.

"In 2002 he created Bearapalooza, a music event for performers who identify with the Gay Bear subculture. Through Bearapalooza he explored issues of body image, masculinity and gender expression. He often gigged around NY and recorded his debut album Break the Silence, a blend of all his influences into a rich stew of American Popular Music. His discovery of a new spiritual path led him to write new songs with themes of Forgiveness, Love, Spirit, Gratitude and Divinity, some of which appear on Just Bear With Me. "He has produced albums and remixes for Charles K. Brown, Roger Mapes, Kendall and Ron Morris, among others. He is currently writing a gospel album called Enter the Stillness, documenting his process with YouTube videos of the songs in their raw early form."

Freeman currently lives at Easton Mountain in Greenwich, NY, and is essential to the Out In The Woods Queer Music Festival — See the Little Box of Concerts on page 8 for more information about Easton and the Festival. Pick up the album at CDBaby.com Q ◂ Lucas Miré ~ Following The Landslide Miré's third album is his best. It finds him writing his most open-hearted songs and finds him at his most open to collaborations. With every listen I grow closer to it.

Bookended by tracks titled "Going" and "Gone", Following The Landslide journeys along new roads, journeys through time, and journeys across inner space: a few years older and wiser.

Noteworthy tracks: "My Mother's Only Daughter" resurrects Miré's self-esteem after having had someone drag his heart through the mud by relating to him less as a Gay man and more like his mother's daughter. It's a unique perspective, though surely not a unique experience. The track's simple acoustic guitar ac-

A LYRIC FOR THE SEASON, redux from last month's DTA A Queer lyric by a non-Queer (or not Out) artist: Say what you think Love who you love Cause you just get so many trips round the sun.

So make lots of noise Kiss lots of boys Or kiss lots of girls If that's what you're into.

When the straight and narrow gets a little too straight Roll up a joint, or don't.

Just Follow Your Arrow Wherever it points. ~ "Follow Your Arrow", Kacey Musgraves

companiment and doubletracked vocals are as strong as the lyric "Nothing can stop my flower / from blooming through concrete." Reminiscent of Joan Armatrading,"You Don't Know" continues his repairs to his soul, with the key line "because I’m finally OK / being me and alone".

Landslide boasts four tracks with featured guest vocalists. On "Rings," Miré sings a male duet with Bo Shell, who is new to me but I want to hear more of him. "Rings" is a truly beautiful song of love and loss. Edie Carey (who played the late, lamented Trenton Q Nights) joins in on "Blood On Your Hands." Based on the prominence of this line, "You Left a Bad Taste in My Mouth" could be its subtitle. (Thankfully, it's not.) But the song is a cathartic purging of love gone horrible, exquisitely supported with piano and cello. Lucy Wainwright Roche (yes, a sibling to the more well known Wainwright) adds soft, elegant harmonies to "Blue Ink," the song which also provides the album title.

Most excitingly, now that they're Atlanta neighbors to Miré, the Out trio Girlyman's amazing vocal harmonies give "I L Y" the playfulness it deserves. "I L Y" begins with and returns to a serious, sincere bowed violin, but the addition of each Girlyman, first Nate Borofsky, followed on the next chorus by Doris Muramatsu and Ty Greenstein, brings a gentle celebratory tone to this I Love You song that "turns, and so do we / from us to me / I'm alone, not lonely." "I L Y" ends revealing the fullness of Miré's heart: "I'm wide open / I’m so open".

Q ◂ Jay Spears ~ We Are All Born Lucky You may well remember Jay Spears' for his catchy-as-herpes breakthrough music video on LOGO-TV: "I Like Mike." Spears' tongue-deep-in-cheek sense of humor this time brings us "When The Big One Hits" and "Meat". (Just imagine. You'd be right.) But his tour-de-force accomplishment this go-'round is "Drive Time" another superb example of his unique ability to start with concrete- or found-poetry lyrics, add studio wizardry and repetition, and come out with something unique. Lucky is worthy of your attention, and worth what Spears asks for it at his Bandcamp page.

Q ◂ My YouTube Best Music of 2013 playlist My playlist of the best music videos I've found from all genres in 2013 includes great Out artists, including many DTA faves such as Elle Macho, Leonard Friend, and Melissa Ferrick, Sacha Sacket and Freddy Freeman from this issue. The latest addition brings the count to 44. Please find it and my other playlists at my Bill Realman Stella YouTube channel. Feel free to leave a comment! (continued on page 8)

June 2013

CHALLENGE

Page 11

Minutes of the GAAMC Board of Trustees Meeting, April 18, 2013 Attendance Voting Trustees: DeLeeuw, Harris, Rase, Rubin, Sauer, Skurna, Suiter Non-Voting Attendees: Allen Neuner The meeting began at 7:15 pm.

I. Adoption of minutes: The minutes of February 21st were approved (Moved, Rase; seconded, Sauer).

II.Old Business: Due to circumstances beyond the Board's control, there was no Board meeting in March.

III.New Business: GAAMC was contacted by MUF to inform us that the office lock did not meet current fire codes. Pursuant to an offer made by MUF, the Board decided to spend up to $110 to purchase and install a new lock in association with MUF (Moved, Harris; seconded, Rase) IV. Reports: President: Andy Skurna — Taxes will be filed on May 15th.

Acting Treasurer: Andy Skurna — Written report on file.

Challenge: Allen Neuner — Written report on file.

Pride Guide: Andy Skurna — After an oral report from Andy and Sue, the Board decided to create a four-page Pride insert to be put in the June and Summer issues of Challenge, the cost of which not exceeding $1000 (Moved, Sauer; seconded, Rase). (NOTE: Allen reported later to the Board the cost of an issue of Challenge with the insert would be $664.20.)

Pride Events Committee: Mickey Suiter — Written report on file. Mickey will buy a tent for use at Pride events for a cost of $150.

Programs: Sherri Rase — Written report on file.

Discussion Group Resources: Gordon Sauer — Written report on file.

V. Save These Dates: April th 29th, Pastabilities; May 3rd, Marriage Equality March/Rally; May 16 , next Board meeting.

VI. Ideas & Suggestions: Allen requested the Board consider a dinner to celebrate GAAMC's 41st anniversary.

VII. Adjournment: Motion to adjourn passed unanimously (Moved, Sauer; seconded, Rase).

The meeting adjourned at 9:05 pm.

Good Eats!

by Chef Charlie Murphy

Key Lime Cake Cake Butter and flour for greasing the pan 1 ⅓ cups granulated sugar 2 cups sifted all-purpose flour ½ tsp salt 1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp baking soda 1 ½ cups vegetable oil ⅔ cup orange juice (no pulp) 1 tbsp lemon juice ½ tsp vanilla extract 5 large eggs, slightly beaten

Glaze ½ cup key lime juice ½ cup confectioners' sugar Icing ½ cup (one stick) butter, room temperature 8-oz cream cheese, room temperature 1 lb confectioners' sugar ½ cup chopped Maraschino cherries 3 tsp Maraschino cherry juice

Cake: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a 9 by 12 by 1 inch cake pan. In a large mixing bowl, combine the granulated sugar, flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda. Mix well, adding oil, orange juice, lemon juice, vanilla, and eggs. Pour batter evenly into prepared cake pan. Bake 35 to 40 minutes. Test for doneness by inserting a toothpick. Cool cake in pan for 5 minutes, then turn it out onto a cooling rack. Glaze: While the cake is still hot, mix lime juice and confectioners' sugar well. Pierce cake

with a fork to allow the glaze to soak in better. Pour glaze over cake on cooling rack.

Icing: Combine butter and cream cheese, mixing until creamy.

Beat in the confectioners' sugar and cherry juice until mixture is smooth and easy to spread. Spread icing on top and sides of the cake. Top with chopped cherries. Note: You can also use three 9-inch round cake pans and make this into a layer cake. Prep time, 20 minutes; cook time, 40 minutes.

Serves 12.

This Month's Contributors Charlie Murphy is one of the longest-time members of GAAMC. Among his many honors is GAAMC's first David Morris Award for Lifetime Achievement.

County Branch of the NAACP. In his professional life, he has worked on or worked with computers and related technologies for more than 30 years. (pg. 1)

Tony Puma's career in sales / marketing / advertising and public relations has influenced his poetry style. He belongs to the Italian-American Writers Association, Red Wheel Barrow Poets, Poets House (NYC), South Mountain Poets, and Hudson Valley Poets-on-the-Loose. Through the prism of poetry, he sees, hears, feels, and captures emotions in words. (pg. 6)

Bill Realman Stella writes Dancing to Architecture because writing about music is like that. He hosted the eclectic pop music show Highest Common Denominator in his mind for twenty years before getting it on the radio for six, and will host it again. Bill has collected music since age 4, when for each song he'd hear on the radio, he'd ask his mom "Do they have a record?" Making a record good enough to share is still a small miracle. If you'd like Bill to write, DJ, or promote for you, get in touch. Comments and suggestions also welcome. Visit http://HowToFindTheBestMusic.blogspot.com or write bearealman @ gmail.com. (pg. 8-10)

Andy Skurna currently serves as GAAMC's President, Webmaster, and the Editor of our Pride Guide. Other community services include Communications Co-Chair for Rainbow Cafe Morris, a social/support group for northern New Jersey's LGBTIQA teens formed in 2012, and Executive Member at Large for the Morris

Page 12 CHALLENGE June 2013

GAY ACTIVIST ALLIANCE IN MORRIS COUNTY

Officers President (President@GAAMC.org) — Andy Skurna VP Community Services (Info@GAAMC.org) — Kerry Dinkin VP Operations (Operations@GAAMC.org)— John DeLeeuw Secretary (Secretary@GAAMC.org) — Gordon Sauer Treasurer (Treasurer@GAAMC.org) — vacant Trustees

GAAMC, the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County, has served New Jersey’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and intersexed communities since 1972. GAAMC is a notfor-profit volunteer-run organization that provides social, educational, and outreach programs. GAAMC also offers opportunities for individuals to become politically active on issues related to the GLBTI communities. Our intent is to maintain a positive, healthy, respectful, and supportive environment in a safe space.

Meetings are held every Monday evening at the Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, 21 Normandy Heights Road, Morristown, NJ (near the Morris Museum). Discussion groups usually meet from 7:00 to 8:00. The evening's program usually starts shortly after 8:00. Refreshments are available. For program information, check our homepage at www.GAAMC.org. Members and non-members are always welcome.

Sue Harris, Ron Kennedy, Sherri Rase, Mitch Rubin, Mickey Suiter, Alexa Vasios Committee Chairs & Functional Officers Archivist — Mickey Suiter (Archives@GAAMC.org) By-Laws Review Committee — Andy Skurna Challenge Editor — Allen Neuner (Challenge@GAAMC.org) Discussion Group Resources Committee — Gordon Sauer (Discussions@GAAMC.org) Information Committee — Mitch Rubin (FreeLibrary@GAAMC.org) Parliamentarian — Allen Neuner Pride Events Committee — Mickey Suiter Pride Guide Committee — Andy Skurna (PrideGuide@GAAMC.org) Program Committee — Sherri Rase (Programs@GAAMC.org) Webmaster — Andy Skurna (Webmaster@GAAMC.org)

Annual membership dues are: Regular, $40/single, $70/couple; Students/Seniors, $30/single, $60/couple.

Those looking to help out at GAAMC can contact Kerry Dinkin at Info@GAAMC.org.

How to reach GAAMC Mail: PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961 Telephone: 973-285-1595 E-Mail: info@gaamc.org Home page: www.gaamc.org Mail List: groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/gaamc Facebook: www.facebook.com/gaamc Challenge online edition: issuu.com/gaamc/docs

PREVIEWS OF COMING ATTRACTIONS! June 10th

June 17th

June 24th

Separate Discussions

Film Festival

LGBT Parents

See "GAAMC Events", page 2, for more details!

The Best Damn Insert in New Jersey!

PRIDE 2013

A Special Section of Challenge, The Newsletter of the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County Serving New Jersey’s GLBTI Communities Continuously Since 1972

GAAMC at a Glance

by Gordon Sauer and Sherri Rase, with Allen Neuner & Bill Stella Every Monday night, there's a place you can go to be with Circles-NJ meets in eight-week sessions and is facilitated by others in the GLBTI Communities of New Jersey.

Gordon Sauer, GAAMC’s Chairman of Discussion Group Socializing, discussion, entertainment, information — Resources. Circles are limited to 10 men and women. Each they're all right in Morris week, participants are asked Township, and in a safe space questions on a given topic.

UPCOMING MAJOR EVENTS! environment. So what's going Their answers form the found— July 8, 2013 on? Let's take a look at some • Ice Cream Social ation for lively, supportive, Join us for cool treats under the stars! (weather permitting) of what GAAMC — the Gay and informative fellowship.

Activist Alliance in Morris • Shakespeare Theatre of NJ — August 5, 2013 All discussion group A theatrical classic performed by tomorrow's great actors!

County — has to offer! participants are encouraged to — September 2, 2013 Join us for upcoming Major • Labor Day Social share their feelings and Barbeque picnic to celebrate another fine, fun summer!

events — See the box on this experiences, but it is not page. Next, GAAMC offers a • GAAMC's 41st Anniversary Celebration — September 16, 2013 required. One can receive Remembering the past and looking toward the future! choice of Discussion Groups. support and information by — September 23, 2013 listening to others in the group These meet every Monday • $1.98 Beauty Contest You've heard about it, but still haven't come out to see it?! night, usually from 7:00 to just as well as by being Make this the year to experience the unique Camp tradition! listened to. At all meetings 8:00.

There are men's, — October 14, 2013 women's and mixed groups. • Meet the Candidates we adhere to GAAMC's Safe We welcome candidates — and fellow citizens — from across Space rules, which are Among them are the the political spectrum to a forum to freely exchange ideas. displayed at the front desk. following: • Halloween Social — October 28, 2013 The Open Talk discussion Boo!?? More like Hooray! Treats for all. Tricks are up to you. That's just for starters. We group meets in the Library, • GAAMC Gives Thanks offer much, much more.

— November 25,2013 beginning at 7:00. ALL are A Family Get-Together Feast!

Questions? First, ask any w e l c o m e t o j o i n t h i s • Holiday Social and Gala Show — December 16, 2013 member. We're not around? discussion. Topics will be Making the Yuletide Gay — Again!

Visit www.gaamc.org. For drawn from all aspects of • Holiday Classic Video — December 23, 2013 more about Events and LGBTI life or current events.

Gather 'round the virtual fireplace, get cozy with a film friend. Programs, or to make suggestOur team of facilitators, ions, email programs@gaamc which includes Elias Scultori, .org.

Email discussions@gaamc.org for the groups. See this Kerry Dinkin, Sherri Rase, and Gordon Sauer, welcomes you issue of Challenge for more email and contact details, news and your participation. and context; back issues at issuu.com /gaamc/docs.

Pick up your free copy of these publications at our meetings:

Finding Your Rainbow

by Laura Franc

I have travelled quite a bit in my life: France, Italy, Germany, Morocco, Egypt, and other places. And while I am not opposed to an unexpected detour down an unknown side road, I always end up where I had intended to go. I know what to pack, I usually speak the language, and I am ready for the adventure of each destination. Right now, my daughter is on a journey and I am determined to go with her. But I don’t know what to bring with me, and I don’t entirely know where we are going.

My daughter has always been an unusual kind of girl, adamantly opposed to caring about what she wore, never interested in makeup or so much as a ponytail in her long hair. Having been a kind of hippie child myself, with waist-length hair well into my twenties, I figured she was just the product of a strong feminist mom, even though I argued often with her that Christmas concerts at school called for something a little more sophisticated than a T-shirt.

Then, in her sophomore year of high school, my daughter started talking more and more often about her involvement in the Gay/Straight Alliance at school. After our town festival, she came home saying that she had spent most of the day at the PFLAG tent.

I have always thought of October 11th as my birthday; my daughter pointed out that it is National Coming Out Day, without really saying what that means to her. Late at night my husband and I would confer. Was it a phase? What was she really saying? I finally said, look, what teenager spends the town festival at the PFLAG tent? What kid asks to go to the Pride Parade in New York? (I did manage to convince her that maybe we needed to start with the Pride Parade in New Jersey. Besides we had a scheduling conflict last year).

Finally my daughter asked if she could get a ride to a meeting in Morris County to talk about starting up a Rainbow Cafe, a place for teens to meet, based on the successful Rainbow Cafe in Bergen County. So of course I went with her, and stayed for the meeting. There were over twenty people at the first meeting, folks from PFLAG and GAAMC, kids from a variety of high schools, and our small delegation from

Sussex County.

One meeting led to another, with my daughter reminding me well in advance each time and making sure that I would give her a ride.

We organized a dance in October, movie and speaker nights, and another dance in February. So I am one of the many adults who helped to get Rainbow Cafe Morris off the ground, and yet my daughter still hasn’t told me where we are headed on this journey. I am so grateful to the GAAMC members who show up, meeting after meeting, who share their stories with me and who have welcomed not just my daughter but me, too. I am so thankful for Andy, Matt and Brian, Gordon, Mickey and John (whom I still like to think of as Obi-Wan and Skywalker, due to some pretty impressive Halloween costumes), and all the others whose names I forget. They understand and respect my role as parent and yet know that they have an essential part to play as role models, as guides. You are going in the right direction, they say. Now pack a lot of patience, they tell me.

More than you thought you would need.

Put some of our experiences in your bag, they tell me, so that you can pull them out and see if they are useful to you as you move forward.

Their compassion and caring mean New at GAAMC the world to me. Their sense of humor and joy give life and light to my daughter and to the other kids who come to Rainbow Cafe Morris.

LGBT Parents’ Group

The Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County will host an informal “Meet & Greet” for LGBT parents to provide social and networking support for families to share experiences, resources and a renewed sense of community.

After this meeting, guests will decide whether or not meet once a month at GAAMC.

Monday, June 24, 2013 7:00 PM until 8:30 For more information please contact Andy Skurna at President@GAAMC.org

Together we have made a safe place for teens to come and be themselves, a place to hear from others what their experiences have been like as they move forward on their own, parallel journeys, a place to feel whole and accepted and honored. I know we are doing the right thing because after every meeting my daughter has a sense of lightness, an incredible lightness of being. She is lifted up and complete in a way that brings us both a sense of peace and joy.

She is happy, at ease, more open. She may not know yet what her destination is, or she is waiting to figure it out before talking it over with us. We, her parents, have been given strength and patience to walk beside her, to follow her to a destination that we will discover together, as a family.

Join GAAMC’s cheering squad as we head to Newark’s Prudential Center to pump up the volume for the Women’s NBA’s NY Liberty. GAAMC will provide the tickets, you provide the spirit!

Sunday, June 23rd @ 3:00 PM

Saturday, August 10th @ 1:00 PM

Friday, September 6th @ 7:30 PM

Email your group’s contact info (a name, number of tickets and cell) to NYLiberty@GAAMC.org

Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County Membership Application Name(s): ________________________________________________________________________________________ Mailing Address: ______________________________________________________ Apt. _______________________ City: ___________________________________________________ State: __________ Zip: ____________________ Phone: (_______) _______ - _____________ Email: _______________________________________________

BASIC DATA

CHALLENGE

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As a member, you may choose to receive GAAMC’s newsle er, CHALLENGE, via First Class Mail or we can email a link to read it online.

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I would like to receive CHALLENGE in the mail:

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 Mee ngs every Monday @ 6:30 PM

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Please select:

 Free Classified Ads in Each Challenge

term by circling the price on this list.

1 Year or 2 Years

 6 to 10 Socials per Year

Single Membership

$40

$80

 Social Ac vism

Couple’s Membership

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$140

 Guest Speakers

Single Student or Senior Membership

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 Free Concerts

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$120

 Movie Nights

Subscrip on to Challenge only

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$50

Tax-deduc ble dona on to GAAMC

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 Talent Shows...Starring YOU?

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Total charges:

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Payment Details: Cash (when applying in person) $ _________________ Check Number: ________________ To pay online via PayPal, please provide your email address: ______________________________________________

GAAMC, P.O. Box 137, Convent Sta on, NJ 07961-0137 If paying by Credit Card, you may also send an email to Memberships@GAAMC.org GAAMC is an IRS Sec on 501(c)(3) not-for-profit corpora on, suppor ng the GLBTIQ community since 1972.

CHALLENGE

The Newsletter of the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County Serving New Jersey's GLBTI Communities Since 1972 The Best Damn Newsletter in New Jersey

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Subscriptions are free with membership; non-members can subscribe for only $25/year.

For more information, or to send submissions, contact the Editor at Challenge@GAAMC.org.