Challenge - Winter 2013

Extra Challenge pages to read & links to follow! Challenge Online @ issuu.com is In Color!

CHALLENGE

The Newsletter of the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County Serving New Jersey’s GLBTI Communities Continuously Since 1972 V o lu m e 3 9, I ssu e 10 , W inte r 2 0 13

Are We Still Birds of a Feather?

by Andy Skurna

We have all heard the idiom, based on a concept introduced by the ancient Greek philosopher Democritus (460 BC – 370 BC), that birds of a feather flock together. All of us know its meaning. But how often do we consider that we have the power to pick and choose our feathers and our flock?

One of the most unique and beneficial characteristics of the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County (GAAMC) is that we have, for all the years I have been involved, tried our best to identify as members of the larger LGBTIQA flock. For the most part, we have tried to bring our brothers and sisters together. We have rolled up our sleeves and worked together, whether it was putting on a talent show, whipping up our favorite recipes for a potluck, or fighting for our equal rights.

Lately, I have noticed a disturbing trend. It seems that our members and other guests may be looking at the list of speakers, discussion topics, or movies and predetermining that they do not apply to their lives, so they just don’t care. They refuse to show up. But are they also considering that if they do not support their neighbors, soon their neighbors will be unable to support them?

You will receive this issue of Challenge, the last of 2013, just days before GAAMC members elect a new round of loving, caring, and loyal volunteers who will do their level best to keep GAAMC’s doors open for the next year. There is little doubt that they will try to meet the needs of our community…ALL of our community.

Before the next issue of Challenge hits your mailbox or Inbox, these same people will have invested an entire day brainstorming, trying to make GAAMC better for you. What will you have done to help?

The first three programs of November, 2013, were arranged by three different men. I brought you “God Loves Uganda,” an award winning documentary by an Academy Award winning producer. Gordon Sauer brought you two women who drove up from Monmouth County to discuss the conditions and needs of older LGBTIQA citizens (that’s you and I, folks).

Frank Lucek, candidate for Board Trustee for 2014, had asked his friends Rick and Jamie to drive to New Jersey from Massachusetts to talk about the struggles they faced and they joys they have shared in Massachusetts as they celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary. What did the audiences look like at these events?

They were too small. They were too male. They were too pale.

One of the many striking facts shared by the two female medical professors who drove up from Monmouth County on November 11th was the simple fact that lesbians are painfully ignorant about health. Polls conducted by their students at Monmouth University found that the majority of lesbians are unaware they can get HIV… or a host of other sexually transmitted diseases. Yet, when we invited the Director of Infectious Diseases from Morristown Medical Center in October, there were hardly any women in the audience. The same holds true when Hyacinth Foundation comes to talk about safer sex. I’ll let you connect the dots. (continued on page 4)

Inside Challenge Challenge Information .................................... page GAAMC Events.............................................. page What's happening at our Monday meetings Bulletin Board.............................................. page Add these upcoming events to your calendar This Month's Contributors............................... page Getting Personal: Classified ads........................page The Little Box of Concerts............................... page Gleanings: News you should know .....................page

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Q-munity Calendar........................................ page 5 Tech Treats: App Happy................................. page 9 Board Minutes for October............................. page 11 GAAMC Information ...................................... page 12 Dancing To Architecture™.... focuses on Justin Vivian Bond Music news and reviews for Queer ears ..... online page 13 Media Outage™.. Queer clippings from print and web sources World AIDS Day and HBO's LOOKING........ online page 16

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CHALLENGE Winter 2013

GAAMC Events for November 2013 CHALLENGE Volume 39, Number 10 Winter 2013 ISSN 0277-1675 Staff Editor .....................Allen Neuner Assistant Editor ............. Bill Stella Advertising Manager ............. open Circulation Manager ............. open List Manager ................ Sue Harris Submissions The deadline for all articles, inserts, and advertisements is the fifteenth of the previous month. All submissions must be provided as electronic files.

E-mail submissions to Challenge @ GAAMC.org.

Ad Rates Single issue: Full page, $125.00; Half page, $85.00; Quarter page, $45.00; Business card, $25.00. For multi-issue rates, contact the Editor at Challenge @ GAAMC.org.

GAAMC members may place one free classified ad per month, of no more than 200 characters in length.

Change of Address Please let us know your new address! All address changes should be sent to the List Manager at ChangeAddress@GAAMC.org.

Challenge is © 2013-2014 by the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County, a 501(c)3 tax-exempt not-for-profit corporation. All rights reserved. All articles reflect the views of the original contributors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of GAAMC, its officers, or executive board. All copyrights revert to the original contributors upon publication. No portion of this publication may be reproduced without the express written permission of the contributor. All articles, contributions, and advertisements are printed at the discretion of the Editor and/or GAAMC Executive Board.

Discussion Groups

OpenTalk: A regular weekly discussion group, open to all. 7:00, in the Library.

Moderators: Elias (Jan 6); Gordon (Dec 2, 16; Jan 13); Liz (Dec 9, 30; Jan 27); Sherri (Dec 23; Jan 20). Discussion group does not meet on Film Festival nights.

Main Events

All start at 8:00 unless otherwise noted.

December 2: Growing Up LGBT Do you remember what it was like when you were growing up? We think the world is better now than when we were coming out, but is it really? Joe, one of GAAMC's newest and youngest members, will be informing us about what it's like to come out in the 21st Century. While youth and maturity may agree on some things, you may be surprised to see where they differ.

December 9: GAAMC Elections and Holiday Classic Movie This is the night when we vote on officers and Board Trustees for 2014. Immediately following the election, we'll be showing a classic holiday movie that you, the membership, will be voting on at GAAMC's Facebook page!

December 16: GAAMC's Holiday Members' Market! Come visit GAAMC vendors and check out our wares for winter holiday and host and hostess gifting!

December 23: Holiday Show! Mr. Scarlett O'Hara hosts the worldfamous GAAMC Holiday Show, featuring some of GAAMC's favorite entertainers!

We'd like you to participate as well, so mosey on out to GAAMC's Facebook page or email Programs@GAAMC.org to let us know how you'd like to participate. Do you sing? Dance? Recite? Use your talents to get us in the ChrismaChanuKwanzaakah spirit!

December 30: GAAMC Film Festival Traditionally, the last meeting of the year is devoted to a classic film presentation. You can bet we'll be having a warm and cozy time watching together — tonight's feature TBD — and munching on popcorn and snackies this New Years Eve Eve! January 6: Fresh Perspectives Retreat Discussion Now is the time when GAAMC's members give the Board its marching orders. You are in the driver's seat — so where would YOU like to head in 2014?

January 13: Quo Vadis? Where is the LGBT community going? We've gained Marriage Equality and ENDA; where is our next battleground? This is an extended Open Talk discussion and will start promptly at 7:00 pm.

January 20: Game Night It's the first games night of the new year!

We've got games, or you can bring your oldest/newest favorite! Is a game play for you, or a ruthless competition to the death? Either way, you'll find simpatico souls around the tables tonight!

January 27: As of press time, tonight's main program has not been set.

Be sure to check out GAAMC.org for information as it becomes available!

Note: All programs and discussion groups are subject to change without notice. For the most up-to-date information, go to GAAMC.org .

The Officers and Trustees of the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County and the Editor and Staff of Challenge wish you a happy winter holiday season and the happiest of new years.

Winter 2013

CHALLENGE

Bulletin Board Are you wondering what to do with your Thanksgiving leftovers? The Pride Center of New Jersey is ready to help out!

November 29th — the Saturday after Thanksgiving — the Pride Center invites you all to GaysGiving!

This gettogether will be a chance for all of us to share leftover dishes and good company with each other. It's also a food drive to benefit the Middlesex County Food Organization and Outreach Distribution Services with our donations of nonperishable foods. So join us at the Pride Center at 5:00 pm on November 29th to give thanks for the many good things the GLBTI communities have received this year — and enjoy a great leftovers-dinner to boot!

"Becoming as Male as I Feel" is the title of a panel discussion being held Saturday, November 30th, at Bentley Mansion in Newton. In this presentation for gender variant individuals and their families, three FtM men tell the stories of their transitions and answer questions from the group. The discussion is moderated by Jennifer Whitlock, a gender specialist and psychological counselor. The suggested donation to attend this event is between $10 and $30 based on ability to pay.

For more information, contact Jennifer at www.JenWhitlock.com or at 973-222-3750.

Raritan Valley LGBTI Community Connections, a new social/discussion group for the queer communities in Somerset County, will meet from 2 p.m. until 4 p.m. at the Dragonfly Cafe in Somerville on Saturday, December 14th, 2013, the second Saturday of the month. Future meetings will be held at Dragonfly monthly, every Second Saturday.

For more information call 908-393-6711 or email arnoldlauralee AT optimum.net. For directions, go to DragonflyMusicAndCoffee.com or Dragonfly's Facebook page.

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important to you as a member of the LGBT community. RU Pride Newark meets in room 344 of Conklin Hall. Come check us out!

For more information, contact Bryan at 973-353-5716. You'll also find us on Facebook!

This Month's Contributors Andy Skurna currently serves as GAAMC's President, Webmaster, and the Editor of our Pride Guide. Other community services include Communications Co-Chair for Rainbow Cafe Morris, a social/support group for northern New Jersey's LGBTIQA teens formed in 2012, and Executive Member at Large for the Morris County Branch of the NAACP. In his professional life, he has worked on or worked with computers and related technologies for more than 30 years. (pgs. 1, 9) Bill Realman Stella writes Dancing To Architecture because writing about music is like that. He hosted the eclectic pop music show Highest Common Denominator on the radio for six years, a twenty year vision come true, and will host it again. Bill has collected music since age 4, when for each song he'd hear on the radio, he'd ask his mom "Do they have a record?" Making a record good enough to share is still a small miracle. If you'd like Bill to write, DJ, or promote for you, get in touch. Comments and suggestions also welcome. Write bearealman at gmail and visit http://HowToFindTheBestMusic.blogspot.com (pg. 3)

Getting Personal

Move To Somerville! Fine houses for sale, many in easy walking distance to train station, near Gay neighbors, vibrant and renewed downtown. Contact Bill (not an agent) for more information, bearealman at gmail.com

IT

IS TIME TO ONCE AGAIN DON YO U R PRIDE FEATHERS AND

GLBT of Hunterdon County of NJ will not meet in December.

But starting in January 2014 they will be meeting on the first Thursday of every month.

Go to www.glbtofhunterdoncountyofnj.com for updates.

RECLAIM

R U a student at Rutgers - Newark? R U looking to get together with other LGBT students on a weekly basis? Then RU Pride is the group for you! We meet every Wednesday from 2:30 to 3:50 pm to socialize and discuss issues that are

YO U R PLACE ! ~ See Page 9

T H E L I T T L E B O X O F C O NC ERT S ™ GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Q ◂ Mx. Justin Vivian Bond "The Golden Age of Hustlers", "Patriot's Heart", "Sinnerman" performs

"Snow Angel"

Friday & Saturday, December 20, 21, 2013 at The Rrazz Room, Located within The Ramada New Hope 6426 Lower York Road New Hope, PA 18938

Justin Bond and Friends " perform "Let It Show!"

Sunday & Monday, December 22, 23, 2013 at Joe's Pub, part of The Public Theater 425 Lafayette St. btwn. E. 4th & Astor Place in New York City's East Village.

"This holiday season's offering from New York's favorite transdisciplanary artist, Mx Justin Vivian Bond, will find the "trans-atlantic cabaret Messiah" (Time Out London) dressed for snow to deliver a holiday Mx of songs from V's critically acclaimed albums DENDROPHILE (2011) and SILVER WELLS (2012), along with a unique take on more traditional holiday fare."

Justin Vivian Bond is an American singersongwriter, performance artist, writer and painter.

Mx Bond is the author of the Lambda Literary Award winning memoir "TANGO: My Childhood, Backwards and in High Heels" (The Feminist Press) and "Susie Says…" a collaboration with Gina Garan (Powerhouse Books, 2012). Mx. Bond was nominated for a Tony Award for "Kiki and Herb Alive On Broadway" in 2007.

Find a Mx. Bond interview on pgs 13-16 of this issue of Challenge Online!

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CHALLENGE Winter 2013

Gleanings

Queer news from around the world A federal court in New Jersey upheld the state's new law banning so-called conversion therapy for LGBT minors.

Judge Freda Wolfson ruled that the law, which Governor Chris Christie (R) signed into law in August, does not violate free speech or religious protections guaranteed under the Constitution. Garden State Equality director Troy Stevenson called the decision "a huge victory for New Jersey youth."

(Washington Blade) The Senate voted 64-32 to pass the Employment NonDiscrimination Act, marking the first time the chamber has approved the legislation since its introduction in 1994. Every Democratic senator and 10 Republicans voted in favor of the bill. The bill, which would extend workplace discrimination protections to include sexual orientation and gender identity, now heads to the House, where it is opposed by Speaker John Boehner (R-OH). (GayPolitics.com) The U.S. Coast Guard announced that it has added protections based on sexual orientation to its equal opportunity policy, becoming the first branch of the Armed Forces to do so.

"We must continue to uphold our core values of honor, respect, and devotion to duty which underlie our excellence in mission execution, good order and discipline, and morale," Coast Guard Commandant Adm. Bob Papp wrote. "Maintaining workplaces that are free from harassment and discrimination is essential to our readiness and to ensure we remain Semper Paratus, always ready." Military organizations called on the Pentagon to encourage similar policy changes for the other military branches. (Washington Blade) Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie (D) signed legislation November 13th that makes the state the 15th to legalize full marriage equality.

The state Senate had approved the House edits to the bill by a 19-to-4 vote. Abercrombie had called a special session of the Legislature specifically to address marriage equality before the end of the year. The law went into effect on December 2nd. (NBC News) Illinois Governor Pat Quinn (D) signed legislation November 20th that makes the state the 16th to legalize full marriage equality. The state Senate approved the House's version of marriage-equality legislation, achieved after months of debate. The law is scheduled to take take effect June 1st.

(Chicago Sun-Times)

A federal judge rejected two attempts to block a lawsuit challenging Pennsylvania's ban on marriage equality, setting the stage for a trial that could come early next year. U.S. District Judge John E. Jones III denied motions from the state's health and revenue departments and Bucks County's register of wills. The motions had cited Supreme Court precedent from 1972 to argue the court lacked standing to hear the case.

Jones also advised lawyers to prepare to discuss a trial date at a conference to be held shortly after the ruling. Pennsylvania is the only Northeastern state that does not recognize samesex couples' right to marry. (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) Arkansas attorney general Dustin McDaniel approved language for a 2016 ballot initiative that would repeal the state's constitutional ban on marriage equality, and would declare that marriage is a "union between two people regardless of sex." Although McDaniel's office reportedly denied several earlier petitions, McDaniel approved a September proposal to give Arkansas voters a chance to rescind a 2004 constitutional amendment barring same-sex marriage.

That would not explicitly establish marriage equality. The language asks Arkansas voters to strike down the state's constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, and replace antigay language with a recognition that marriage is the union of two adults, without regard to sex or gender.

The ballot measure would also make it illegal for county clerks to deny marriage licenses to same-sex couples who requested them, and include exemptions for clergy and religious organizations who have a faith-based opposition to marriage equality. The proposal, submitted by the Arkansas Initiative for Marriage Equality, means they can now begin collecting the 78,133 signatures from registered voters needed to qualify for the 2016 ballot. (Advocate.com) Missouri Governor Jay Nixon (D) announced that he supports marriage equality and that he will sign an executive order to allow same-sex couples married legally in other states to file Missouri tax returns jointly. "Many Missourians, including myself, are thinking about these issues of equality in new ways and reflecting on what constitutes discrimination," Nixon said.

The change prompted state Representative Nick Marshall (R) to call for Nixon's impeachment. (The Washington Post)

The Florida Supreme Court ruled that a woman who donated an egg to her lesbian partner has parental rights to the child and ordered a lower court to work out custody, Four lesbian couples in Idaho, two of whom are legally child support and visitation arrangements. The two women married in other states, have sued to challenge the state's had a child together when one donated an egg that was ferban on marriage equality. Their lawsuit, filed in federal tilized and implanted in the other, who gave birth in 2004. court against Governor Butch Otter (R), argues that Idaho's In 2006 the couple split up and the birth mother took the ban on marriage equalgirl and left the Governors' Gallery: (left to right) ity violates the U.S. country. The remainNeil Abercrombie, Hawaii; Pat Quinn, Illinois; Jay Nixon, Missouri Constitution's equaling woman—the egg protection guarantee. donor, who identifies "People in Idaho beherself as the biologilieve in treating people cal mother, used a fairly," one of the private detective to plaintiffs said. "[We] find her former partwant all the same ner in Australia. things that other fami(Washington Post) lies want." (The Idaho (continued on page 10) Statesman, Boise)

Winter 2013

CHALLENGE

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D ecem b er 2 0 1 3 Q- m u n it y Calen d ar Recurri n g Con t act I n form at i on

* Hackensack Peer Support Groups: 800-508-7577; www.njbuddies.org † Pride Center, Highland Park: 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org ‡ Hudson Pride Connections Center: 201-963-4779; HudsonPride.org λ LGBT Center Rainbow Lounge, Princeton: www.princeton.edu/lgbt ♦ North Jersey PrimeTimers: www.meetup.com/North-Jersey-Primetimers Every Sunday 10:45 am - MCC of Christ the Liberator, Highland Park; tombohache10 @ gmail.com Noon - St. Francis of Assisi Church, Glen Ridge; 973-731-7765; stfrancisnj.org 2:30 pm - Liberation in Truth Unity Fellowship Church, Newark; 973-621-2100 5:30 pm - Central Jersey Rainbows Bowling League, Bradley Beach; CJRBowling @ gmail.com 7:00 pm - Chapter 9 - Couples in Recovery, Highland Park † Every Monday 10:30 am - The Wellness Community, Newark; 973-565-0300; info @ hyacinth.org 7:00 pm - GAAMC, Morristown (see page 2) 7:00 pm - Bowling, Union; merenl @ comcast.net 7:00 pm - S.E.L.F. HIV Men’s support group, Hackensack * 7:30 pm - New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus choir practice, Princeton; 609-396-7774; www.njgmc.org 7:30 pm - Overeaters Anonymous, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Bowling, Green Brook; qcrollers @ aol.com Every Tuesday 12:30 pm - The Wellness Community, Newark; 973-565-0300; info @hyacinth.org 4:00 pm - Treatment Adherence Support Group, Jersey City; 201-432-1134; info @hyacinth.org 6:30 pm - TransView, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - NA Group, Jersey City ‡ 7:30 pm - Tuesday Night Lesbian Connection, Bound Brook; 908-791-3764 7:30 pm - Men’s HIV support group, Asbury Park; 732-7755084; apstillpoz @ yahoo.com 7:30 pm - Positive Yoga, Oradell * 8:45 pm - Bowling, Belleville; 973-256-5936; NJGLB @ aol.com 9:00 pm - Bowling, Jersey City; 201-933-6028; JoeyNJ @ aol.com 9:15 pm - Bowling, Edison; 732-548-4550; cnjgbl @ yahoo.com

01 Sun Noon - Chanukah Party; njlgh.onefireplace.com 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-509-0118; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 4:00 pm - World AIDS Day/Day Without Art, Princeton λ 6:30 pm - Gay Men’s Opera Club; 732-249-9034; hagol @ msn.com 02 Mon 3:00 pm - Flashlight Tour of the Putnam Collection, Princeton λ 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero @ umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Ocean; schiffman @ rocketmail.com 7:30 pm - Young Men's Social Network, Highland Park † 03 Tue 5:30 pm - World AIDS Day Lecture, Princeton λ 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, New Brunswick; www.GPBN.net 7:30 pm - LGBT Fellowship, Belleville; 973-751-0616 7:30 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - NJ Women Coming Out Support, Highland Park † 04 Wed 5:30 pm - Hudson County HIV/AIDS Services Planning Council, Jersey City ‡

Every Wednesday 10:30 am - The Wellness Community, Jersey City; 201-432-1134; info @hyacinth.org 2:30 pm - RU Pride, Newark; 973-353-5716 6:00 pm - Positive People peer support group, Hackensack * 6:00 pm - SAGE, Jersey City ‡ 7:30 pm - Men’s Living Out group, Highland Park; njwarrior @ aol.com † 7:30 pm - Gay Men’s Coming Out group, Highland Park; njwarrior@aol.com † Every Thursday 6:00 pm - Our Youth weekly support group, Jersey City; www.myspacenj.org 6:30 pm - Ties Like Mine, Jersey City ‡ 6:30 pm - Double Jeopardy peer support group, Hackensack * 6:30 pm - Hudson Men of Pride, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - Sexual Assault Survivor Support, Princeton; www.hitops.org 7:30 pm - Rainbows on Cleveland Street, Orange; 973-256-5936; rbowsoncleveland @ aol.com 7:30 pm - Writers group, Highland Park † Every Friday 3:00 pm - Youth Connect, Jersey City ‡ Monday – Friday 8:00 am to 4:00 pm - HIV testing, Morristown; 973-889-6802 9:00 am to 1:00 pm - HIV testing, Asbury Park; 800-947-0020 10:00 am to 5:00 pm - HiTOPS Health Center, Princeton; www.hitops.org; 609-683-5155 x 211

7:00 pm - Slavic Film Festival, Suicide Room, Princeton λ 7:30 pm - Gay Dad’s discussion group, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - Jersey Boys of Leather, Highland Park † 05 Thu 7:00 pm - Coffee Night, Edison; njlgh.onefireplace.com 06 Fri Noon - "Hey, Mom, I'm Gay", Princeton λ 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack * 8:00 pm - Karaoke, Highland Park † 07 Sat 1:00 pm - Women of Pride, Jersey City ‡ 2:30 pm - First and Third for GLBTI youth, Princeton; 609-683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 7:30 pm - Women's Arts & Music Performance Series, Highland Park † 08 Sun 1:00 pm - Mitzvah Day, Edison; njlgh.onefireplace.com 4:00 pm - Out Pagans Discussion Group, Highland Park † 6:00 pm - Gay Men’s Classical Song Club, Kingston; pbrown02 @ worldnet.att.net 09 Mon 6:30 pm - HIV Testing, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Gay Night at CODA Bar and Kitchen, Maplewood ♦

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CHALLENGE Winter 2013

09 Mon 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Morris County, Mendham; 973-727-5288; pflag.morris @ verizon.net 7:30 pm - PFLAG, Princeton; 609-663-5155; www.pflagprinceton.org 7:30 pm - FetChat, Highland Park † 10 Tue 6:00 pm 7:00 pm 7:30 pm 7:30 pm 8:00 pm

-

Queering the Color Line, Princeton λ Bisexual Bicurious, Highland Park † Yoga for Men, Highland Park † Pride Center Board Meeting, Highland Park † Men's Social Night, Highland Park †

11 Wed 7:30 am - Living Out Women, Highland Park † 5:00 pm - Out on the Town Happy Hour, Princeton λ 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, Asbury Park; www. GPBN.net 6:30 pm - North Jersey Prime Timers' monthly meetup, Little Falls ♦ 7:00 pm - Slavic Film Festival, Jolly Fellows, Princeton λ 7:00 pm - Private Lives, Rockaway ♦ 7:30 pm - Board Meeting, Edison; njlgh.onefireplace.com 12 Thu 7:00 pm - Qspot Book Club, Point Pleasant; outdoorgirl @ optonline.net 7:00 pm - Under the Rainbow, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - PFLAG of North Jersey, South Orange; 908-789-7489; pflagwaver @ aol.com 7:30 pm - Alternate Thursdays, Montclair; kjdinkin @ comcast.net 7:30 pm - Kollege of Kink, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Booked for Supper, Highland Park † 13 Fri 7:30 pm - Rock Band/Guitar Hero, Highland Park † 14 Sat 12:30 pm - IPG Gender Spectrum Support Group for Youth & Parents, Jersey City ‡ 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Highland Park † 2:00 pm - Raritan Valley LGBTI Community Connections, Somerville; noonstar @ mac.com 7:00 pm - Movie Social, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick gay Catholic liturgy; 732-968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 15 Sun 1:00 pm - Holiday Party, Paterson ♦ 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-509-0118; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 4:00 pm - TrueSelves trans support group, Highland Park † 16 Mon 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero @ umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Ocean; schiffman @ rocketmail.com 7:30 pm - Young Men's Social Network, Highland Park † 17 Tue 7:00 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - Lesbian Alliance of Princeton; 609-924-8174 Loisj @ msn.com 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Hunterdon County, Flemington 908-752-1370; pflaghc @ yahoo.com

7:30 pm - Caregiver Support Group, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - PFLAG of Bergen County, Paramus; 201-287-0318; www.bergenpflag.org 8:00 pm - NJ Women, Secaucus; info @ njwomen.org 18 Wed 7:30 pm - United in Grace discussion/support group, Jersey City; 201-946-0650; greg.perez @ comcast.net 8:30 pm - Bowling, Boonton ♦ 19 Thu 6:00 pm - New Volunteer Orientation, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - GAAMC board meeting, Morristown All GAAMC members are invited to attend.

7:00 pm - GLSEN Training, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - PCNJ HIV Planning Committee, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - NJ Women Coming Out Support Group, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Northwest NJ, Sparta; 973-729-9909 7:30 pm - Volunteer Group Meeting, Jersey City ‡ 20 Fri 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack * 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick social; 732-968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 8:00 pm - Out of the Box open mic night, Highland Park (Sign-up begins 7:30); outoftheboxinfo @ mac.com 21 Sat 1:00 pm - Women of Pride, Jersey City ‡ 2:30 pm - First and Third for GLBTI youth, Princeton; 609-683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 7:00 pm - Rainbow Bowling, Bradley Beach; 732-774-4540 7:00 pm - NJ Gay Film Society & Potluck Dinner Club, location TBA; gayfilms @ bigfoot.com 7:30 pm - Games Night, Highland Park † 23 Mon 7:30 pm - FetChat, Highland Park † 24 Tue 3:00 pm - Drop-In Hours for the LGBT Community, Princeton λ 7:00 pm - Bisexual, Bi-curious and Allies Support Group, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Stonewall Democrats, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - Yoga for Men, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Men's Social, Highland Park † 25 Wed 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, Asbury Park; www. GPBN.net 26 Thu 7:00 pm - Under the Rainbow, Highland Park † 27 Fri 7:30 pm - Living Soulfully, Highland Park † 28 Sat 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Gay Bowling, Asbury Lanes, Asbury Park; 732-776-6160 29 Sun

3:00 pm - The Lavender Cinema Club, Highland Park † 31 Tue 7:00 pm - New Year's Eve Party, Rockaway ♦

Winter 2013

CHALLENGE

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Jan u ary 2014 Q- m u n it y Calen d ar Recurri n g Con t act I n form at i on

* Hackensack Peer Support Groups: 800-508-7577; www.njbuddies.org † Pride Center, Highland Park: 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org ‡ Hudson Pride Connections Center: 201-963-4779; HudsonPride.org λ LGBT Center Rainbow Lounge, Princeton: www.princeton.edu/lgbt ♦ North Jersey PrimeTimers: www.meetup.com/North-Jersey-Primetimers Every Sunday 10:45 am - MCC of Christ the Liberator, Highland Park; tombohache10 @ gmail.com Noon - St. Francis of Assisi Church, Glen Ridge; 973-731-7765; stfrancisnj.org 2:30 pm - Liberation in Truth Unity Fellowship Church, Newark; 973-621-2100 5:30 pm - Central Jersey Rainbows Bowling League, Bradley Beach; CJRBowling @ gmail.com 7:00 pm - Chapter 9 - Couples in Recovery, Highland Park † Every Monday 10:30 am - The Wellness Community, Newark; 973-565-0300; info @ hyacinth.org 7:00 pm - GAAMC, Morristown (see page 2) 7:00 pm - Bowling, Union; merenl @ comcast.net 7:00 pm - S.E.L.F. HIV Men’s support group, Hackensack * 7:30 pm - New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus choir practice, Princeton; 609-396-7774; www.njgmc.org 7:30 pm - Overeaters Anonymous, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Bowling, Green Brook; qcrollers @ aol.com Every Tuesday 12:30 pm - The Wellness Community, Newark; 973-565-0300; info @hyacinth.org 4:00 pm - Treatment Adherence Support Group, Jersey City; 201-432-1134; info @hyacinth.org 6:30 pm - TransView, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - NA Group, Jersey City ‡ 7:30 pm - Tuesday Night Lesbian Connection, Bound Brook; 908-791-3764 7:30 pm - Men’s HIV support group, Asbury Park; 732-7755084; apstillpoz @ yahoo.com 7:30 pm - Positive Yoga, Oradell * 8:45 pm - Bowling, Belleville; 973-256-5936; NJGLB @ aol.com 9:00 pm - Bowling, Jersey City; 201-933-6028; JoeyNJ @ aol.com 9:15 pm - Bowling, Edison; 732-548-4550; cnjgbl @ yahoo.com

Every Wednesday 10:30 am - The Wellness Community, Jersey City; 201-432-1134; info @hyacinth.org 2:30 pm - RU Pride, Newark; 973-353-5716 6:00 pm - Positive People peer support group, Hackensack * 6:00 pm - SAGE, Jersey City ‡ 7:30 pm - Men’s Living Out group, Highland Park; njwarrior @ aol.com † 7:30 pm - Gay Men’s Coming Out group, Highland Park; njwarrior@aol.com † Every Thursday 6:00 pm - Our Youth weekly support group, Jersey City; www.myspacenj.org 6:30 pm - Ties Like Mine, Jersey City ‡ 6:30 pm - Double Jeopardy peer support group, Hackensack * 6:30 pm - Hudson Men of Pride, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - Sexual Assault Survivor Support, Princeton; www.hitops.org 7:30 pm - Rainbows on Cleveland Street, Orange; 973-256-5936; rbowsoncleveland @ aol.com 7:30 pm - Writers group, Highland Park † Every Friday 3:00 pm - Youth Connect, Jersey City ‡ Monday – Friday 8:00 am to 4:00 pm - HIV testing, Morristown; 973-889-6802 9:00 am to 1:00 pm - HIV testing, Asbury Park; 800-947-0020 10:00 am to 5:00 pm - HiTOPS Health Center, Princeton; www.hitops.org; 609-683-5155 x 211

01 Wed Noon - New Year's Day brunch, Metuchen; njlgh.onefireplace.com 5:30 pm - Hudson County HIV/AIDS Services Planning Council, Jersey City ‡

06 Mon 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero @ umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Ocean; schiffman @ rocketmail.com 7:30 pm - Young Men's Social Network, Highland Park †

03 Fri 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack * 8:00 pm - Karaoke, Highland Park †

07 Tue Noon - Out in STEM, Princeton λ 5:00 pm - Out on the Town Happy Hour, Princeton λ 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, New Brunswick; www.GPBN.net 7:30 pm - LGBT Fellowship, Belleville; 973-751-0616 7:30 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - NJ Women Coming Out Support, Highland Park † 08 Wed Noon - Queer Women's Lunch, Princeton λ 7:30 am - Living Out Women, Highland Park † 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, Asbury Park; www. GPBN.net 6:30 pm - North Jersey Prime Timers' monthly meetup, Little Falls ♦ 6:30 pm - Career Networking Event, Princeton λ

04 Sat 1:00 pm - Women of Pride, Jersey City ‡ 2:30 pm - First and Third for GLBTI youth, Princeton; 609-683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 7:30 pm - Women's Arts & Music Performance Series, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Fall ClubFest, Woodbridge † 05 Sun 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-509-0118; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 6:30 pm - Gay Men’s Opera Club; 732-249-9034; hagol @ msn.com

Page 8

CHALLENGE Winter 2013

09 Thu 7:00 pm - Qspot Book Club, Point Pleasant; outdoorgirl @ optonline.net 7:00 pm - Under the Rainbow, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - PFLAG of North Jersey, South Orange; 908-789-7489; pflagwaver @ aol.com 7:30 pm - Alternate Thursdays, Montclair; kjdinkin @ comcast.net 7:30 pm - Kollege of Kink, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Booked for Supper, Highland Park † 10 Fri 7:30 pm - Rock Band/Guitar Hero, Highland Park † 11 Sat 12:30 pm - IPG Gender Spectrum Support Group for Youth & Parents, Jersey City ‡ 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Movie Social, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Bingo and Drag Show, Montclair ♦ 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick gay Catholic liturgy; 732-968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 12 Sun 4:00 pm - Out Pagans Discussion Group, Highland Park † 6:00 pm - Gay Men’s Classical Song Club, Kingston; pbrown02 @ worldnet.att.net 13 Mon 6:30 pm - HIV Testing, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Morris County, Mendham; 973-727-5288; pflag.morris @ verizon.net 7:30 pm - PFLAG, Princeton; 609-663-5155; www.pflagprinceton.org 7:30 pm - FetChat, Highland Park † 14 Tue 6:00 pm 7:00 pm 7:30 pm 7:30 pm 8:00 pm

-

Queering the Color Line, Princeton λ Bisexual Bicurious, Highland Park † Yoga for Men, Highland Park † Pride Center Board Meeting, Highland Park † Men's Social Night, Highland Park †

15 Wed 7:30 pm - United in Grace discussion/support group, Jersey City; 201-946-0650; greg.perez @ comcast.net 7:30 pm - Board Meeting, Edison; njlgh.onefireplace.com 8:30 pm - Bowling, Boonton ♦ 16 Thu 6:00 pm - New Volunteer Orientation, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - GAAMC board meeting, Morristown All GAAMC members are invited to attend.

7:00 pm - GLSEN Training, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - PCNJ HIV Planning Committee, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - NJ Women Coming Out Support Group, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Northwest NJ, Sparta; 973-729-9909 7:30 pm - Volunteer Group Meeting, Jersey City ‡ 17 Fri 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack * 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick social; 732-968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 8:00 pm - Out of the Box open mic night, Highland Park (Sign-up begins 7:30); outoftheboxinfo @ mac.com 18 Sat 1:00 pm - Women of Pride, Jersey City ‡

2:30 pm - First and Third for GLBTI youth, Princeton; 609-683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 7:00 pm - Rainbow Bowling, Bradley Beach; 732-774-4540 7:00 pm - NJ Gay Film Society & Potluck Dinner Club, location TBA; gayfilms @ bigfoot.com 7:30 pm - Games Night, Highland Park † 19 Sun 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-509-0118; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 4:00 pm - TrueSelves trans support group, Highland Park † 20 Mon 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero @ umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Ocean; schiffman @ rocketmail.com 7:30 pm - Young Men's Social Network, Highland Park † 21 Tue 7:00 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - Lesbian Alliance of Princeton; 609-924-8174; Loisj @ msn.com 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Hunterdon County, Flemington; 908-752-1370; pflaghc @ yahoo.com 7:30 pm - Caregiver Support Group, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - PFLAG of Bergen County, Paramus; 201-287-0318; www.bergenpflag.org 8:00 pm - NJ Women, Secaucus; info @ njwomen.org 22 Wed 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, Asbury Park; www. GPBN.net 7:30 pm - Living Out Women, Highland Park † 23 Thu 7:00 pm - Under the Rainbow, Highland Park † 24 Fri 7:30 pm - Living Soulfully, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Shabbat service; njlgh.onefireplace.com 25 Sat 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Gay Bowling, Asbury Lanes, Asbury Park; 732-776-6160 26 Sun 3:00 pm - The Lavender Cinema Club, Highland Park † 27 Mon 7:30 pm - FetChat, Highland Park † 28 Tue 3:00 pm - Drop-In Hours for the LGBT Community, Princeton λ 7:00 pm - Bisexual, Bi-curious and Allies Support Group, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Stonewall Democrats, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - Yoga for Men, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Men's Social, Highland Park † 30 Thu 7:00 pm - Coriolanus, Long Branch ♦ 31 Fri 5:00 pm - Rainbow Mountain Weekend, Marshalls Creek, PA njlgh.onefireplace.com

Winter 2013

Tech Treats: App Happy

By Andy Skurna

CHALLENGE

Page 9

Are We Still Birds of a Feather? (continued from page 1)

I will never forget the amazing concert performed for Quist is a mobile app that displays GAAMC by Olympia’s Daughters about 5 years ago. The events from this day in LGBTQ history. concert was titled, “Living Out Loud.” Eleven beautiful, Historical events in the app paint a courageous and generous women stood on OUR stage and picture of how far the LGBTQ commupoured out their stories of surviving domestic violence, nity has come over time — how we coming out of the closet, rape by family members, as well have been treated, how we have reacted, how our allies have supported as physical, medical, and mental illnesses. There were us, and how others have worked venearly 70 people in the audience, yet you could count the hemently to stop the progress. LGBTQ audience’s Y-chromosomes on one hand. individuals’ contributions to society If this institution is to remain viable, and events in HIV/ AIDS history are NO AMOUNT OF DEDICATION BY A it will REQUIRE your input. It will www.QuistApp.com require your financial support, your also included.

HANDFUL OF PEOPLE IS GOING TO KEEP participation, and your social supBashing: Sometimes it seems like ho- THE DOORS OPEN. WE CANNOT SURVIVE port. We need you to commit to mophobia is claiming the streets. In or- SHRINKING SUPPORT AND INCREASING showing up to learn from our speakder to address this problem, people need to know what happens, and where. A EXPENSES. WE NEED YO U TO COMMIT ers, and to share your own opinions new app sets out to link technology and TO SHOWING UP, TO SHARE YO U R OWN and experiences. We need you to daily life by being able to give victims of OPINIONS AND EXPERIENCES . Y O U bring friends. We need you to share gay bashing type bias crimes a chance to KNOW SMART, TALENTED, AND CARING announcements of upcoming programs with your friends, family, colog their particular incident in real time.

PEOPLE; WHY NOT LET US GET TO MEET workers, and neighbors. We need Install the Bashing app on your smart- THEM? BRING YO U R FRIENDS, SHARE your suggestions and connections for phone and use it when you become the future programs. You know smart, victim of a discriminative slur or physical ANN OUN CEMENTS OF UPCOMIN G talented, and caring people; why attack. It will im- PROGRAMS WITH YO U R FRIENDS, FAM- not let us get to meet them? mediately be visi- ILY, CO-WORKERS, AND NEIGHBORS. ble on the Bash- WE NEED YO U R SUGGESTIONS AND Due to our Bylaws’ term limits I am map.

Take your retiring from active Board service CONNECTIONS FOR FUTURE PROGRAMS . time and click for at least a year. We are fortuyour way through RIGHT NOW! nate enough to have volunteers to the reports on the come forward to fill the entire map. You will quickly feel how inBoard of Trustees. But take it from someone who has voltimidating this kind of attack can unteered the past six years of his life to GAAMC, these be. people must have your cooperation and your input. No This app was developed in Belgium amount of dedication by a handful of people is going to

by OUTRAGE!, an open community keep the doors open. We cannot survive shrinking support Bashing.be based group from Belgium, founded in the and increasing expenses.

LGBT community, who have united to fight homophobia, discrimination and violence directed against I will still be involved with some committees and projects, us; and to assert our dignity and human rights. It is worth and I will make myself available to any Trustee or member noting that this app opens on a map of Belgium, since that who has questions or needs help. is the community it was first designed to protect, but it Can you say the same? works just as well anywhere on the globe.

Birds of a feather do flock together and it is time to once AVG Cache Cleaner (for Android smartphones) monitors, again don your pride feathers and reclaim your place in erases, and clears your device’s internal and SD card formation, the new formation that is taking shape right memory usage. It checks your browsing history usage (your browser, app store, email, etc.); your phone calls log now, the new formation that will fly into 2014 to fight for (incoming, outgoing, and missed); your text messages the passage of the Employment Nondiscrimination Act (SMS) log (unread, read, and sent); and cache processes (ENDA), for greater equal rights for the transgender memrunning in the background. bers of our flock, and greater support for our LGBTIQA youth. When is the time to start learning about and workAVG Cleaner optimizes the memory and storage space to ing towards the 2014 mid-term elections? RIGHT NOW! help your Android™ device perform better and run smoother.

AVG Cleaner is fast to set up and user friendly so that you can quickly and easily find and eliminate unwanted stored data and cache processes from your device. You can also set up the app to automatically run daily or weekly (the default) depending on usage level and available memory space. www.AVG.com

P a g e 10

CHALLENGE Winter 2013

Gleanings

(continued from page 4) Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin (R) announced the state will no longer allow any couples in the National Guard to apply for spousal benefits at state facilities. Oklahoma couples seeking benefits must apply at one of nine federally run National Guard facilities in the state. Fallon's statement indicated the state is looking to avoid complying with a Pentagon order for state National Guard units to process benefits claims for married same-sex couples: "[This change] protects the integrity of our state constitution and sends a message to the federal government that they cannot simply ignore our laws or the will of the people." (KRMG-AM/KRMG-FM, Tulsa) The Court of Justice of the European Union ruled that three openly gay men seeking to immigrate to the Netherlands to escape persecution in Uganda, Sierra Leone, and Senegal qualify for asylum. The ruling could enable other LGBT Africans to seek asylum in the EU, but the court also said that the criminalization of homosexuality alone doesn't justify asylum. "The acts of persecution must be sufficiently serious by their nature of repetition as to constitute a severe violation of human rights," the court said. (Advocate.com) The Scottish Parliament voted to move marriage-equality legislation forward to a parliamentary committee. Advocates hailed the 98-15 vote as a significant step, and noted that it represents the first of three legislative hurdles that the bill must pass in order to become law. (BBC) Ireland’s Taoiseach (Prime Minister) Enda Kenny has thrown down the gauntlet by revealing his "strong support" for marriage equality, kicking off what could be one of the fiercest fights for same-sex marriage equality across the globe. Kenny (Fine Gael party) promised to campaign for it in a referendum in front of reporters in early November, ending a long silence over his views on equal marriage. The Government has decided the Irish public will vote on samesex marriage by mid-2015. (RTE News) Croatia will hold a referendum on whether to allow gay marriages but critics say the vote is discriminatory. Gay rights groups are challenging its wording as biased and unconstitutional. Parliament voted to have a December 1st ballot asking, “Do you agree that marriage is matrimony between a man and a woman?” A majority “yes” vote will amend Croatia’s constitution to define marriage as between a man and a woman, a de facto ban on gay marriages. Croatia’s liberal President Ivo Josipovic will vote against amending the constitution, saying, “I think that determining marriage between a man and a woman does not belong in the constitution. A nation is judged by its attitude toward minorities.” (Washington Post)

Zambia’s first lady, Dr Christine Kaseba-Sata, called for an end to discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation during a reception hosted by UNAIDS in the country’s capital, Lusaka. “Silence around issues of men who have sex with men should be stopped and no one should be discriminated against on the basis of their sexual orientation,” Kaseba-Saba said. “Rather, we should address reproductive health issues around this issue.” She also reportedly said those working on public health issues among men who have sex with men have the president’s support despite the increasingly homophobic climate in the country. Kaseba-Sata’s words could carry special weight because she is one of the country’s leading OB/GYNs, practicing and teaching in top Zambian medical institutions for more than 25 years. She is also the World Health Organization’s 2014 good will ambassador against gender-based violence. (AllAfrica.com) More than 150,000 people participated in Buenos Aires' 22nd annual Gay Pride Parade and celebrations. Many spectators held signs supporting Pope Francis, who opposed the country's marriage-equality law as the city's archbishop, but has since taken a more moderate tone following his election to the papacy. The parade, the largest LGBT demonstration in Argentina, began with a group kiss-in and ended with fireworks in the Plaza de Mayo square. (Pink News) The U.S. Military Academy at West Point hosted its first wedding between two men. Larry Choate III married Daniel Lennox in a ceremony before about 20 guests. Both spouses graduated in recent years from West Point. Choate said he believed his marriage would serve as a positive example for other couples. (The New York Times) Civil rights leader Bayard Rustin and astronaut Sally Ride were posthumously awarded the nation's highest civilian honor, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, by President Barack Obama at a ceremony at the White House. Rustin's partner, Walter Naegle, and Ride's partner, Tam O’Shaughnessy accepted the medal on their behalf. Rustin and Ride were among 16 honorees receiving the medal, established by President John Kennedy to recognize individuals who have made "an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors". (MetroWeekly.com) Jack Andraka of Maryland received the Vatican's International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in recognition of his earlydetection test for pancreatic cancer. 16-year-old Andraka, who is gay, is working with biotechnology firms to market the test, which could advance treatment for one of the deadliest forms of cancer. "It's really amazing to be recognized by the Vatican, especially as a gay scientist," Andraka said. The Sciacca Award is given to persons who, in their lives or their fields of activity, have distinguished themselves as a commendable role model. (Advocate.com)

CHA MPI ON S OF EQUA LI TY (left to right): Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny; Zambian First Lady Dr. Christine Kaseba-Sata; Bayard Rustin; Sally Ride; Jack Andraka

Winter 2013

CHALLENGE

P a g e 11

Minutes of the GAAMC Board of Trustees Meeting, October 17, 2013 Attendance Voting Trustees: DeLeeuw, Kennedy, Sauer, Skurna, Suiter Non-Voting Attendees: Joe Gygax, Allen Neuner, Richard Schaublin, Mark Wydner The meeting began at 7:06 pm.

I. Adoption of minutes: The minutes of the September meeting were not adopted due to lack of a quorum.

II.Old Business: Board Service 2014: Spreadsheet attached.

III.New Business: Insurance Renewal: See cover letter attached. Premium will be paid October 23.

IV. Reports: President: Andy Skurna — Andy gave his intentions for 2014. He will serve as webmaster and assist with Pride Guide.

Acting Treasurer: Andy Skurna — No report. A solution is needed for processing memberships.

IF THIS INSTITUTION IS TO REMAIN VIABLE, IT WILL REQUIRE YO U R INPUT. IT WILL REQUIRE YO U R FINANCIAL SUPPORT, YO U R PARTICIPATION, AND YO U R SOCIAL SUPPORT.

~ See page 9

Wondering where Da ncing to Archi t e ct ure and M e d i a O u t a ge are?

You'll find them in the online version of Cha ll e nge, available at issuu.com/gaamc/docs!

Pride Events Committee: Mickey Suiter — No report.

Challenge: Allen Neuner — November 15 is the deadline for submissions for the December/January issue.

Folding and stuffing will be October 28. The Board will discuss ways of making Challenge more cost-effective.

Programs: Sherri Rase — Written report and calendar in Dropbox.

Discussion Group Resources: Gordon Sauer — Written report and calendar in Dropbox.

V. Save These Dates: Oct 21, Vote Your Issues; Oct 28 Hallowe'en Social Nov 21 , next Board meeting.

VI. Ideas & Suggestions: Mickey suggested a questionnaire be sent to the membership. Categories: what GAAMC does well; what needs to be improved; what can members do.

VII. Adjournment: No motion due to lack of quorum.

The meeting adjourned at 7:55 pm.

KEVIN P. SUSZKO, PC Certified Public Accountant

- TAX PLANNING & PREPARATION - FINANCIAL PLANNING - A CCOUNTING SERVICES - DAY & EVENING APPOINTMENTS - OFFICES IN NEW JERSEY & NYC Phone: 973–376–4121 P. O. Box 701 Short Hills, NJ 07078 E-Mail: KPSCPA@GMAIL.COM

P a g e 12

CHALLENGE Winter 2013

GAY ACTIVIST ALLIANCE IN MORRIS COUNTY

Officers President (President@GAAMC.org) — Andy Skurna VP Community Services (Info@GAAMC.org) — Kerry Dinkin VP Operations (Operations@GAAMC.org)— John DeLeeuw Secretary (Secretary@GAAMC.org) — Gordon Sauer Treasurer (Treasurer@GAAMC.org) — vacant Trustees Sue Harris, Ron Kennedy, Sherri Rase, Mitch Rubin, Mickey Suiter, Alexa Vasios Committee Chairs & Functional Officers Archivist — Mickey Suiter (Archives@GAAMC.org) By-Laws Review Committee — Andy Skurna Challenge Editor — Allen Neuner (Challenge@GAAMC.org) Discussion Group Resources Committee — Gordon Sauer (Discussions@GAAMC.org) Information Committee — Mitch Rubin (FreeLibrary@GAAMC.org) Parliamentarian — Allen Neuner Pride Events Committee — Mickey Suiter Pride Guide Committee — Andy Skurna (PrideGuide@GAAMC.org) Program Committee — Sherri Rase (Programs@GAAMC.org) Webmaster — Andy Skurna (Webmaster@GAAMC.org)

GAAMC, the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County, has served New Jersey’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and intersexed communities since 1972. GAAMC is a not-for-profit volunteer-run organization that provides social, educational, and outreach programs.

GAAMC also offers opportunities for individuals to become politically active on issues related to the GLBTI communities. Our intent is to maintain a positive, healthy, respectful, and supportive environment in a safe space.

Meetings are held every Monday evening at the Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, 21 Normandy Heights Road, Morristown, NJ (near the Morris Museum). Discussion groups usually meet from 7:00 to 8:00. The evening's program usually starts shortly after 8:00. Refreshments are available. For program information, check our homepage at www.GAAMC.org. Members and non-members are always welcome.

Annual membership dues are: Regular, $40/single, $70/couple; Students/Seniors, $30/single, $60/couple.

Those looking to help out at GAAMC can contact Kerry Dinkin at Info@GAAMC.org.

How to reach GAAMC Mail: PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961 Telephone: 973-285-1595 E-Mail: info@gaamc.org Home page: www.gaamc.org Mail List: groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/gaamc Facebook: www.facebook.com/gaamc Challenge online edition: issuu.com/gaamc/docs

PREVIEWS OF COMING ATTRACTIONS! December 9th

December 23rd

January 6th

GAAMC Elections

Holiday Show

Pre-Retreat Discussion

See "GAAMC Events", page 2, for more details!

Winter 2013

CHALLENGE

P a g e 13

Dancing To Architecture™ Music Reviews & News with a Queer Ear

by Bill Realman Stella

Personifying "willowiness" is one of the many qualities which Justin Vivian Bond ascribes to Justin Vivian Bond. And Bond does have the beauty, the providence, the fluidity or flexibility, and the strength of a willow.

This fascinating, multi-talented artist is our f o c u s i n t h i s e d i t i o n o f D a n c i n g To Architecture in honor of Bond's dates at two N e w J e r s e y a d j a c e n t v e n u e s : Tw o performances, Friday & Saturday, December 20, 21, 2013 , of the show "Snow Angel" at The Rrazz Room in New Hope, Pennsylvania and two performances, Sunday

when I heard Bond acknowledge me for really getting into the performance and the song.

What can I say to repay that kind of generosity of spirit?

The quality of Bond's interpretations of the s o n g s V * gingerly selects from other songwriters, the extraordinary persona V has created, and the very genuine person I had the privilege of experiencing a glimpse of, all together meant that I couldn't just leave it at a brief mention or three in print of V's latest a l b u m S i l v e r We l l s , a n d u p c o m i n g performances. Bond deserves more, the respect & Monday, December 22, 23, 2013, of due a multi-faceted artist. When I researched V, "Let It Show!" at Joe's Pub in Manhattan. I I wanted to distill a number of threads of V's plan to go; You should go too. life into a brief portrait of the artist.

Fortunately, I stumbled upon a Bond interview At this past summer's Out In The Woods which contains every thread I wanted to Queer Music Festival at Easton Mountain touch upon. It was conducted late in 2012 Community, Retreat and Sanctuary, Bond and

by Steve Pride for his KPFK radio program I had (pardon the expression) a bonding "IMRU" and his "Pride Out Loud" channel on moment during Bond's performance of Soundcloud.com. In it, among other topics, "Momma, Momma." A song composed by Bond looks back on the passing of Kiki and Melanie Safka (most often known simply as Melanie), a guilty favorite songwriter of Herb, *explains what this "V" (and that "Mx.") mine since childhood, when Bond began stuff is all about, and enlightens us with the singing it, singing "Momma, Momma / I fear distinction for Trans persons between transitioning and bridging. you reared me wrong", I reacted with a mix of intense shock—of recognition, of surprise—and deep appreciation, You'll enjoy also listening to the interview yourself. For a full, loving connection to the song and its simple most of the interview, reading what was said suffices to depths. Bond's version of "Momma, Momma" took me convey the meaning. But one instance I should make you aware of: If you are listening to the back to my early teenage years, audio of Bond's response to Pride's sitting in front of a record player with Melanie and Justin, October 2013 very first question, it comes across my acoustic guitar, singing along to as a humble assessment of V's my Melanie album and fumblingabilities, and insight into V's strumming my adolescent angst into philosophy; please don't make the my bedroom walls. I sat in the mistake of reading egotism into your audience before the onstage Bond, first impression of reading those reviving that experience, mouthing initial thoughts in print. the words, rocking back and forth, at times air-strumming along.

With Pride's permission then, I proudly present something different That happened near the start of a long, i n t h i s e d i t i o n o f D a n c i n g To packed-full of great music day Out In Architecture: a transcript of Pride's The Woods. Toward the end of the day, interview with a loquacious Mx. late in the evening, I was walking along Justin Vivian Bond. with a number of others to join a circle around a bonfire, and was taken aback

P a g e 14

S = Steve Pride J = Justin Vivian Bond

CHALLENGE Winter 2013

S: I am very sad to hear about Kiki's passing.

J: It was a tragedy. But, I think it's for the best.

S (narrating): Justin Vivian Bond, formerly simply Justin Bond, is an American singer-songwriter, performance artist, actor, and a fixture of the New York avant-garde. Bond is also the author of the Lambda Literary Award-winning memoir, "Tango: My Childhood, Backwards, and in High Heels". Some of you might recognize Justin Vivian Bond from the John Cameron Mitchell film "Shortbus".

S: How would she like to be remembered?

S: Do you like acting?

J: I don't like it that much. It's not really that fun for me, but I think I'm good at it.

But I don't really find that many roles that are worth the effort. For me. I think, uh, a lot of people are trying to escape from who they are into something else. And I've spent my entire life trying to escape who I'm supposed to be in order to be who I really am. So, uhm, acting isn't really that exciting for me, although as I said I'm good at because I did it for years. In the straight world, as they say. [laughs]

S: Hmm. J: Well, I think it was — First, she said "You call that dancing?" And then, "If I could love, I would love you all" was the last thing she said.

S: At least she went out doing something.

S (narrating): Justin Vivian Bond first shot to fame as Kiki DuRane, the aging, alcoholic, female lounge singer in the cult cabaret duo Kiki and Herb.

J: Well, I created Kiki I guess in '91 or '92. And then… within the year of creating Kiki I was working with Kenny and he had become Herb. Then we were Kiki and Herb until 2008. And then, uh, we broke up the act. And then, uh, I was Kiki again last week. I was a special guest in a Scissors Sisters concert in New York. And they sang their song "Let's Have A Kiki". So I put on the Kiki costume and came out and surprised the audience, and gave them a Kiki! And then Kiki died at the end of the song. It was very tragic. I don't even think people knew what happened. She died, and then the lights went out and — It was like she jumped from the fourth floor of a shopping mall atrium and landed by a Peet's Coffee and was quickly put under a pup tent and whisked away.

J: I think she'd like to be remembered as someone who — [snickers] I have no idea! [laughs; all in the room laugh].

Her epitaph is "If I could love, I would love you all." Those were her last words.

S: And she died.

J: And then she died, yeah.

J: She did. Exactly. She was doing what she loved: Showing other people how much more she knew than they did.

S: Kiki had issues.

J: I think Kiki's rage stemmed from, you know, my own traumatization by the world that I was living in, San Francisco in the early 90s. So many of my friends were dying. And she was cathartic. So I would get all this rage out. And I would be in performances. And I would throw open windows in night clubs and scream out at the streets, "Don't get too comfortable!" — and everyone in the audience could understand exactly what I was talking about.

And then, you know, 9/11 came along.

And I was a New Yorker and I had some things to say about that. But at a certain point it did become a psychic drain being so angry all the time. Now I get to be, you know, just — so light and carefree.

We had done the show for a lot longer than I had ever intended to do it. And, uhm, I was just tired of it. And it took so much energy to maintain that. It was a career, you know. And I thought, well, I can't keep doing this if I want to do

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anything else with my life. And we had starred in this little safe secret slot that I couldn't get to. But as it Carnegie Hall, we'd starred off-Broadway, we'd done turns out, that was actually a dream.

Broadway, we'd been nominated for a Tony. And I But of course, in a sort of a Jungian analysis, you know, couldn't really see any more, you know, goals for that it was like my parents putting my fantasies and my character. And I had actually exceeded my creative identity in this little spot. interest in it. But at that point it was just about doing So. I always loved shoes. I've always loved lipstick as things to say that we had done them. well. And would wear it whenever I got the chance.

Because — Part of the reason that I became a performer was, in Queer performing, was, uh, that I was a member S: I've learned not to label people. But even if I wanted of Act Up in the early 90s. And it was all about Queer to, with you, I couldn't. You're label-less. visibility. And that, sort of, in a certain way, gave me a J: I don't think of myself as label-less; I think of myself mission. as Everything.

So bringing Kiki and Herb to Carnegie Hall twice, and to I don't feel like I'm limited. My imagination isn't so small Broadway and to all those places was for me a kind of a that I can't imagine myself in a lot of different ways. But I political challenge, more so than a creative one. And so, don't like being expected or forced to be any certain way. even though I was really into it creatively, … we were I enjoy expressing myself in a more feminine way brought there because we were, I think, good at what because I feel like I'm, just, naturally a little bit — You we did. I kept doing that one thing, to get to a certain know, I have a kind of willowiness about point. And once that had happened, I me. And that might be why I love trees so thought: OK, I don't have anything to prove much, and willow trees especially. When I to anyone in that regard. So now I'm more Mx. is an honorific. die, I want to be cremated and buried in a serving my own creative impulses and my hole and have a willow tree planted on top Because I don't feel own muse. And I've been a lot more of me, that says, "Here lies Mx. Justin Mr. or Ms. or Miss. satisfied, creatively, since I quit doing that.

Vivian Bond — Forever Shady."

They don't apply to S: Explain Mx. ["Mix"] S: Tell me about your book. me.

J: Mx. is sort of an honorific. Because I J: Well, my book is called "Tango: My I wanted something don't feel Mr., or Ms., or Miss. They don't Childhood, Backwards, and in High Heels".. that was Everything. apply to me. So I wanted something that The reason I wrote was because I had was Everything. So I chose Mx., "m - x". recently been diagnosed with ADD. I started So I chose Mx. looking back at my childhood through a S: And explain your personal pronoun. different filter. And I was thinking about — J: "V" is a symbol that is two equal sides At the same time I was diagnosed with ADD, a neighbor boy, who was my age, who was grown by that that meet in the middle. And so I just chose V, just point, was arrested outside of our hometown for because of that. I think, in a kind of a — If it was in a impersonating a drug enforcement agent on I-81 in cave, people might understand it. So I was trying to between Martinsburg, West Virginia and Hagerstown. make it as simple as possible. Because a lot of people do They said he had bipolar disorder and delusions of have very prehistoric ideas of what gender is, or should grandeur. And I thought, I think he had signs of those be. If they're that behind the learning curve, let's make things when we were children as well. We were lovers it simple, and give 'em a V. [chuckles] from the time we were eleven and until we were fifteen S: I don't want to infer that you're an elder of the tribe, — I had just turned sixteen. And I was telling this story but — any advice to the kids to Amy Scholder at The Feminist today?

Press. She said "That would make J: Well I don't know what advice I an interesting book. You should could give the kids today. Because write it." And I did. it seems like I'm learning a lot S: You were a glamorous child. more from them than they could learn from me. Because kids get J: Lipstick was one of the first it, today. Younger people just things that was something seem to instinctively get it. glamorous that I was drawn to. The thing that I was initially drawn to, People in their teens and twenties — I mean, I've spent a lot of time that I've always loved since I can remember — my first consciousness in the last few years hanging out with a lot of people in their about a glamour item — was shoes.

I had a dream when I was very twenties, especially young Queer people. Because, in the early 90s, young — which I just recently realized was a dream, when you're when I kind of came of age a kid you don't really know if it intellectually, it was the time happened or not, but — I had these where Queer Theory was first two pairs of shoes, that were my bubbling to the surface. It was a time when Queer publishing was in shoes, that I had been playing with.

And my Dad had built a trap door, its golden age. And I worked at A Different Light Bookstore in San under our stairs, with a hidden compartment. Which he really did Francisco, which was a hub of intellectual and political activity. build. But I was convinced that, one night when I was asleep, they And so that was very important to [took] my shoes and locked them in me. Now all these kids are learning

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these things in school because they're part of the curriculum. And they're interested in their history. And they have a sort of normalized idea of these things as what they accept, because it's what is very well articulated by all these people. And then they're expanding on it.

So I think that the young people are doing great. I don't think I would have ever become Mx. or V or really embrace my Trans identity if it weren't for the fact that so many people in their twenties showed me how simple it was. I didn't do it until I was in my forties because everything else was kinda binary oriented, up until more recently. And I didn't fit into either of those binaries.

But now that there's these genderqueer people articulating it, I've been a kind of a mouthpiece for it.

But I didn't articulate it. I chose Mx. and V, but the notions and the concepts behind them were clarified by younger people.

S: Clarify, because you just referred to yourself as Trans, and I kinda see you as encompassing rather than transitioning.

J: Oh, I'm not transitioning. I'm Transgender. In other words, I bridge. I'm not going from one place to the other. I'm just there. I don't feel the need to go anywhere, but I don't want to be stuck anywhere either.

S: So you check all the boxes.

J: Well, I'd like to just have one, that says "T". In Australia, their passports now have one that says "X". Which I'm perfectly fine with as well. I just feel like there needs to be one category that's neither man nor woman. For the rest of us.

Certain people that are Trans-identified are Trans-identified until they're Woman or Man. Because they really identify within a binary thing. So they have their bodies surgically changed to meet who they feel they are. Which is great, it's perfect. And those people should be allowed to put Male or Female. If they identify strongly as Male or Female, no matter what genitalia they're born with, I think they should have the right to do that. But for people like me who don't want to be any of those categories, I think it'd be nice if we had one for ourselves too.

S: You released a new a l b u m t h i s s u m m e r, Silver Wells. What do you hope people take away for it?

J: I hope that they listen to the songs when they feel like nurturing themselves. I declared 2012 THE Y EAR OF RADICAL S ELF -LOVE . So if you want to treat your- self to a little radical self-love, put on Silver Wells and do whatever you need to do. [Laughs] S (narration): This has been a conversation with Mx. Justin Vivian Bond. For more information, visit JustinBond.com.

A final note: Silver Wells features a Mx. Bond original titled "Stars", and V's unique interpretations of Brecht/Weill's "Alabama Song", Tracy Chapman's "Talkin' About A Revolution", Kate Bush's "The Kick Inside", Leonard Cohen's "Famous Blue Raincoat", two not-often-covered Joni Mitchell songs, and the aforementioned Melanie's brilliant "Leftover Wine" among its song selections.

Two new shows from HBO Page 16

Media Outage™ Queer Clippings from print and web sources

by Bill Realman Stella The Salon Outward blog item We Can End AIDS Without A Cure is essential reading for the future course society needs to take to fight AIDS. It would focus on "requir[ing] HIV prevention efforts that also work to create political power for marginalized groups; address issues of poverty and social justice; help individuals find or prepare for meaningful employment, housing, and health care; address mental health issues—efforts, in effect, that address a client’s life circumstances as a whole.

Many, many on-the-ground service providers already work in this kind of model. But this is a long and slow process, which requires support from an informed populace and a government that sees the vital connection between civil rights, community empowerment, and HIV/AIDS." Writer Hugh Ryan''s vision is no academic mirage but the only workable goal available, one which will need plenty of organizing, networking and plain hard work to accomplish, but worth for the lives at stake.

The excerpt below, also from a piece on Salon.com's Outward blog, places the documentary The Battle of amfAR: How Elizabeth Taylor and Mathilde Krim Fought AIDS in context. Directed by the Oscar and Emmy award winning team of Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman, this 2013 Sundance Film Festival Official Selection plays on HBO and on demand throughout December 2013.

As yet another World AIDS Day passes, HBO brings to the screen another documentary about HIV/AIDS. Produced by fashion designer Kenneth Cole, The Battle of amfAR … is in a minor key compared with …

2012’s Oscar-nominated How to Survive a Plague (coming to PBS at the end of the year) and the legendary And the Band Played On. If you need schooling on how HIV/AIDS took hold, and on the long and often maddening battle to bring the disease to heel and the public to action, start with those two canonical works. But this little film is worth your time, too. Cole, who’s also the chairman of amfAR’s board, wanted to shine a harsh spotlight on how society’s fear, and the need to believe that HIV infection wasn’t a real threat to anyone but oversexed gay men and the occasional hemophiliac, impeded research and public education.

In the full article by John Culhane, he "zero[es] in on then-President Ronald Reagan’s shameful response to the crisis…. [H]is answer to a question about whether he’d allow one of his children to attend a school with someone infected with HIV [was]: 'I’m glad I’m not faced with that problem today. I can well understand the plight

Dancing To Architecture and Media Outage ©2013 Bill Stella. All ©, ® & ™ items included for review purposes are ©, ® & ™ their respective owners. The stylized Q indicates albums by (or significantly contributed to by) Out Bisexuals, Gay Men, Lesbians and Transgendered persons. GAAMC is pronounced "GAY-mick".

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of the parents. And yet medicine has not come forth unequivocally and said: This we know for a fact. That it is safe.’ Many have blamed Reagan for deaths that earlier leadership might have prevented". The piece adds that "in the beginning, amfAR received bags of hate mail, venom that was intended for Rock Hudson or for 'homosexuals’ more generally. For those who haven’t lived with HIV’s long history, it’s hard to understand why an organization trying to gather money for research would be on the receiving end of this crap."

Over 1.1 million people in the U.S. alone are now living with HIV.

In the new HBO series LOOKING, "a trio of thirtysomething friends living in San Francisco explore the exciting—and often overwhelming—options presented to contemporary Gay Men." A press release continues: "Friendship may bind them, but each is at a markedly different point in his journey: Patrick (Jonathan Groff) is the 29-year-old video game designer getting back into the dating world in the wake of his ex’s engagement; aspiring artist Agustín (Frankie J. Alvarez), 31, is questioning the idea of monogamy … and the group’s oldest member, longtime waiter Dom (Murray Bartlett), 39, is facing middle age with romantic and professional dreams still unfulfilled. The trio … search

for happiness and intimacy in an age of unparalleled choices — and rights — for gay men. Also important to the mix is the progressive, unpredictable, sexually open culture of the Bay Area, with real San Francisco locations serving as a backdrop for the group’s lives. Rounding out the world of LOOKING are a bevy of dynamic gay men including Kevin (Russell Tovey), Lynn (Scott Bakula), and Richie (Raul Castillo), as well as a wide-range of supporting characters like Dom’s roommate Doris (Lauren Weedman), Agustín’s boyfriend Frank (O.T. Fagbenle), and Patrick’s co-worker Owen (Andrew Law)."

Watch the first trailer on YouTube.

Watch the latest trailer on HBO.com.