Challenge-February2014

INSIDE! - More than

24 Q-munity Stories for you to glean in just minutes!

See Gleanings, Pg 4

CHALLENGE

The Newsletter of the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County Serving New Jersey’s GLBTI Communities Continuously Since 1972 V o lu m e 40 , I ssu e 1, F e bru ar y 2 0 14

Take Time To Be Generous With One Another

by Sherri Rase

The recent hit movie "Saving Mr. Banks" tells the story behind one of the favorite books and movies of many of our childhoods. P. L. Travers, author of the Mary Poppins series of books, struggles with Walt Disney over the movie version of her iconic work. Meanwhile, flashbacks show a portion of the early upbringing of this now-dour woman whose stories continue to bring so much delight.

It's easy to rush to a conclusion based strictly on a small sample.

If I meet someone at GAAMC on a Tom Hanks & Emma Thompson in "Saving Mr. Banks" Monday night and they regularly have thoughtful observations, if we've had some good conversations and I've seen them several times, then I may have the beginnings of something to go on to build a friendship. If I had met that same person only once in a club, or when they were at a different time in their life, then my impression may have been very different. What if they were drinking to drown the memory of an ex, or had just gotten some very, very bad news and I caught them on a bad day? It wouldn't be fair to judge on a single data point, and both of us could lose something very important.

I'm going to go all astrological on you for a moment and tell you that for most of February, Mercury will be in retrograde.

This means it's a time for planning and introspection. If you try to force progress, you'll find you're moving one step backward for every two you advance.

Ta k e t i m e t o b e generous with one another.

It would have been easy to judge Mrs. Travers based on the face she showed the world, but inside she was as vulnerable as the rest of us.

Someone making a piece of furniture looks past the bark in the wood to visualize the beauty within. Adversity brings out the grain that the artist burnishes to a fine finish. GAAMC is where people connect to find the abrasive and soothing elements that will bring out their best. GAAMC helped me find that in myself, and it continues to help others find it every Monday night as it has for the past 41 years.

Thank you for being here. You are here for a reason, and to borrow wisdom from a dear friend, "you are Enough"!

Welcome!

Mimi and Eunice by Nina Paley (MimiAndEunice.com)

Inside Challenge Challenge Information .................................... page GAAMC Events.............................................. page What's happening at our Monday meetings Bulletin Board.............................................. page Add these upcoming events to your calendar This Month's Contributors............................... page Getting Personal: Classified ads........................page

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Introducing GAAMC Outings!............................. page 3 Gleanings: News you should know .....................page 4 Q-munity Calendar........................................ page 5 It's About Our Spouses, Dummy......................... page 8 Board Minutes for December 2014..................... page 9 Good Eats! recipes........................................ page 9 GAAMC Information ...................................... page 10

In Challenge Online Dancing to Architecture™ Media Outage™ The Little Box of Concerts™ Challenge Online & In Color! @ issuu.com/gaamc/docs *Click!*

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GAAMC Events for February 2014 CHALLENGE Volume 40, Number 1 February 2014 ISSN 0277-1675 Staff Editor .....................Allen Neuner Assistant Editor ............. Bill Stella Advertising Manager ............. open Circulation Manager ............. open List Manager ............ Allen Neuner Submissions The deadline for all articles, inserts, and advertisements is the fifteenth of the previous month. All submissions must be provided as electronic files.

E-mail submissions to Challenge @ GAAMC.org.

Ad Rates Single issue: Full page, $125.00; Half page, $85.00; Quarter page, $45.00; Business card, $25.00. For multi-issue rates, contact the Editor at Challenge @ GAAMC.org.

GAAMC members may place one free classified ad per month, of no more than 200 characters in length.

Change of Address Please let us know your new address! All address changes should be sent to the List Manager at ChangeAddress@GAAMC.org.

Challenge is © 2013-2014 by the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County, a 501(c)3 tax-exempt not-for-profit corporation. All rights reserved. All articles reflect the views of the original contributors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of GAAMC, its officers, or executive board. All copyrights revert to the original contributors upon publication. No portion of this publication may be reproduced without the express written permission of the contributor. All articles, contributions, and advertisements are printed at the discretion of the Editor and/or GAAMC Executive Board.

Discussion Groups

OpenTalk: A regular weekly discussion group, open to all. 7:00, in the Library. Moderators: Elias (Feb 10); Gordon (Feb 3, 24); Kerry (Feb 17); Liz; Sherri. Discussion group does not meet on Film Festival nights.

Main Events

All start at 8:00 unless otherwise noted.

February 3: The Role of Networking in Your Job Search Have you been searching for a job? Have you been hitting the internet and applying online only to find your paperwork disappearing into the online “black hole”? Well, come out tonight and learn from Len Resto’s mistakes as he walks us through his job search successes and failures. The key to finding a job is through networking — it’s “who you know” and not so much “what you know”. Come learn how to leverage your connections into a powerful network that will plug you into the job you want in a relatively short period of time. Len will describe his journey and tell how to really use Linked In to your benefit. Don’t miss out on this opportunity!

Wednesday, February 5: A GAAMC Outing You Are Not Alone is a documentary examining depression in black gay men, its underlying psychosocial causes: being sexually abused by an older adult; religious leaders declaring that gay men are abominations and encouraging ostracism from families and communities; the stigma and discrimination accompanying HIV diagnosis — and its consequences: struggles with sexual orientation and identity; low self-esteem; setting out to contract HIV as a form of suicide; and for many aging black gay men, struggles with loneliness, isolation, and abandonment, including desperation for affection, intimacy, and sex.

We'll meet in New Jersey City University, 2039 Kennedy Boulevard, at Hepburn Hall, Room 202, Jersey City.

Contact Outing Organizer Gordon Sauer at Info@GAAMC.org for details.

February 10: Extended Women's/Men's Only Discussion Groups GAAMC people are very warm and thoughtful with one another — our Open Talk groups are regularly women and men mixed, sharing thoughts, points of view and more. Now and then there are separate common languages women share only with women and men only with men. This special evening is when GAAMC women and GAAMC men will each have a discussion group. Each gender can discuss issues and questions that pertain to health, philosophy, and life. NOTE: This event starts at 7 pm.

February 17: Valentine’s Social Will you be somebody’s Funny Valentine? A Fuzzy Valentine? Sentimental? Romantic? Pedantic? Be them all! At GAAMC’s Annual Valentine’s Social! Red, pink, and white are all dynamite as we celebrate friends, lovers, and others who may become friends and lovers. You owe it to yourself to be there and share.

February 24: Marsha Shapiro and Louise Walpin met, fell in love, and brought their children together to form one loving family. They never imagined they’d be at the heart of New Jersey’s fight for marriage equality, but things conspired to put them in the forefront of events that led to the first same-sex marriage under New Jersey’s court ruling on marriage equality, on October 21, 2013 at a few moments past midnight. Come hear their story and learn how regular folks are the ones who make history!

March 3: To kick off Sex Month at GAAMC, the GAAMC Film Festival presents the musical farce, Victor/Victoria, starring Julie Andrews, James Garner, and Robert Preston. NOTE: the film starts at 7 pm; there will be no discussion group this evening.

March 10: Hot Reads Discuss your favorite sexy books, and while we're at it, what's the difference between erotica and porn (if any)?

NOTE: All events are subject to change without notice.

Check at GAAMC.org for up-to-date information on all upcoming events!

February 2014

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Bulletin Board

Introducing GAAMC Outings!

GLBT of Hunterdon County of NJ will be awarding a $500 scholarship this year!

For more information, go to www.glbtofhunterdoncountyofnj.com, or attend their regular meeting on February 6th at the North County Branch Library in Clinton.

If you look at this month's GAAMC Events (page 2), you'll notice something new: a GAAMC Outing. But what does this mean?

The Pride Center of New Jersey invites you all to an elegant and romantic Valentine's Day Gala & Fundraiser on Saturday, February 8th! The Renaissance Woodbridge Hotel in Iselin is the place where you'll find a gourmet three-coursse sit-down dinner with cash bar, cocktail hour entertainment by the NJ Youth Symphony String Quartet, a silent auction, tricky trays, dance music provided by DJ Adams, and much more!

For questions, ticket prices, additional information, contact GalaChair.2014@gmail.com!

GAAMC's Board of Trustees invites all members to take a look into the behind-the-scene workings of our organization by attending the next Board meeting on Thursday, February 20th! GAAMC members are invited to participate in discussion but are not permitted to vote. Board meetings are held the third Thursday of every month at 7 pm in the MUF Dining Room.

Living Out Women and Trueselves invite everyone you to attend The Butch Event, a day-long conference and evening of entertainment on Saturday, March 29th, at the Pride Center of New Jersey in Highland Park. The conference aims to cover all things butch: the meaning of "butch"; the differences between trans men and butch women; butch perspectives on femmes; and presenting as butch in public and in private, along with many other topics. The conference runs from 1 pm to 6:15 pm; dinner is from 6:15 pm to 8 pm; an open mic will occur from 7:00 to 8:00; and the evening is capped by comedic performances from Kelli Dunham and Joanne Filan until 10 pm. For more information, email pandora@pandorascooter.com; to order tickets, go to www.pridecenter.org/the-butch-event/.

Raritan Valley LGBTI Community Connections, a new social/discussion group for the queer communities in Somerset County, will meet from 2 pm to 4 pm at the Dragonfly Cafe in Somerville on the second Saturday of each month. For more information call 908-252-9303 or email noonstar @ mac.com. For directions, go to DragonflyMusicAndCoffee.com or Dragonfly's Facebook page.

R U a student at Rutgers - Newark? R U looking to get together with other LGBT students on a weekly basis? Then RU Pride is the group for you! We meet every Wednesday from 2:30 to 3:50 pm to socialize and discuss issues that are important to you as a member of the LGBT community. RU Pride Newark meets in room 344 of Conklin Hall. Come check us out!

For more information, contact Bryan at 973-353-5716. You'll also find us on Facebook!

GAAMC Outings have been created in response to members' requests for events held other than on Monday nights in Morristown. A GAAMC Outing can be anything — a movie group, a tour, a bike trip, a theatre night, a museum visit, or just about any other event that you'd like to announce and think other members would like to join in on!

GAAMC Outings are not run by GAAMC! Rather, each Outing has its own organizer who takes the lead in terms of the event's details, such as reservations, publicity, and transportation. GAAMC will supply ad space, online and in Challenge, and a limited use of the GAAMC name, subject to approval of the event by the Board.

To find out more about GAAMC Outings, contact Gordon Sauer at Info@GAAMC.org or Sherri Rase at President@GAAMC.org. Start thinking about where you want to go — then follow your imagination, and let your fellow GAAMC members follow you on an Outing!

Getting Personal Looking to reconnect with alums of GAAMC's first youth group (1988-1989), which met in South Orange.

Email Kerry C. at dressyfemme@aol.com.

This Month's Contributors Kevin King by day is a registered nurse, and by night a happily married leather bear. He lives with his husband Anthony in Metuchen. (pg. 9) Mark Segal, publisher of the Philadelphia Gay News, is the nation’s most-award-winning commentator in LGBT media.

He can be reached at mark@epgn.com. (pg. 8) Bill Realman Stella writes Dancing To Architecture because writing about music is like that. He hosted the eclectic pop music show Highest Common Denominator on the radio for six years, a twenty year vision come true, and will host it again.

Bill has collected music since age 4, when for each song he'd hear on the radio, he'd ask his mom "Do they have a record?"

Making a record good enough to share is still a small miracle. If you'd like Bill to write, DJ, or promote for you, get in touch.

Comments and suggestions also welcome. Write bearealman at gmail and visit http://HowToFindTheBestMusic.blogspot.com (Challenge Online)

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Gleanings

Queer news from around the world New Jersey Governor Chris Christie vetoed legislation passed

by New Jersey lawmakers that would have lifted the requirement that a transgender person must undergo sex-reassignment surgery to obtain an amended birth certificate. Noting that a birth certificate is often the prerequisite for other forms of identification, the Republican governor and possible 2016 presidential candidate stated: "[P]roposed measures that revise the standards for the issuance of amended birth certificates may result in significant legal uncertainties and create opportunities for fraud, deception, and abuse, and should therefore be closely scrutinized and sparingly approved." The state’s largest LGBT organization responded with anger. According to Garden State Equality Executive Director Troy Stevenson (below), “Governor Christie's veto of this legislation was a vindictive move to punish the LGBT community after a year of tremendous progress.” Barbra Casbar Siperstein, political director of the Gender Rights Advocacy Association of New Jersey, went further, accusing Christie of not reading the bill. "Endorsed by the NJ Bar and compliant with contemporary medical standards, new Federal standards, [and] revenue positive, it appears that this veto is arbitrary, capricious, and designed to harm transgender people, who are the most vulnerable among LGBT New Jerseyans," Siperstein said. (MetroWeekly.com, DC)

Garden State Equality Executive Director Troy Stevenson announced his resignation from the post, effective January 26th. Stevenson's new post will be as executive director of The Equality Network, based in his home state of Oklahoma.

While the GSE board conducts a national search for a new executive director, the position will be filled on an interim basis by Managing Director John Mikytuck. (Garden State Equality.org) Oklahoma's ban on marriages between same-sex couples has been ruled unconstitutional. US District Court Judge Terence Kern said that the ban conflicts with last year's Supreme Court decision on the Defense of Marriage Act. Governor Mary Fallin's (R) office criticized the ruling, saying that it ignores "the will of the people." The ruling will not be enforced until it has been reviewed by the Tenth District Court of Appeals. (CNN) The Supreme Court of New Mexico declared same-sex marriage constitutional in a landmark ruling, making the state the 16th, plus the District of Columbia, with full marriage equality. The ruling, which was unanimous, held that denying marriage rights to same-sex couples violated the state's Equal Protection Clause. "We hold that the State of New Mexico is constitutionally required to allow same-gender couples to marry and must extend to them the rights, protections, and responsibilities that derive from civil marriage under New Mexico law," the justices wrote. The case arose after eight of the state's 33 counties began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples this past summer. (USA Today)

On January 1, out gay Republican Don Guardian was sworn in as Atlantic City's 49th mayor. He will be Atlantic City’s first Republican mayor in 23 years, elected amid a brutal slowdown that has seen it lose its place as the nation’s secondlargest gambling market, with casino revenues falling more than 40 percent and thousands of jobs lost in the past six years. Guardian, 60, warns of challenging times ahead as his administration tries to turn things around. "The first couple years are going to be tough," he said. "We’re going to be trimming the budget and looking for additional funding from the state and federal governments to help us."

His triumph in November over incumbent Democrat Lorenzo Langford shocked the city, where Democrats enjoy a 9-to-1 advantage in registration. Guardian was sworn in by Congressman Frank LoBiondo, but before taking office, Atlantic City's new mayor first attended a nondenominational service, including a rabbi, a Buddhist monk, and a Methodist pastor, at St. Nicholas of Tolentine Church, where the Roman Catholic attends Mass. Guardian walked down the center aisle, with his partner Louis Fatato holding a pillow with the key to the city. (Edge on the Net.com; Press of Atlantic City) U.S. District Judge John E. Jones III has set a June 9 trial date for a lawsuit that challenges Pennsylvania's marriageequality ban. Jones' decision comes a week after he rejected a request from state government officials to delay the trial until August. Governor Tom Corbett (R) opposes marriage equality and has retained a private legal team to argue for the ban, while Attorney General Kathleen Kane (D) has refused to defend the law. Pennsylvania is the only northeastern state without marriage equality. Governor Corbett also announced that he supports a state House bill that would outlaw workplace and housing discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. Corbett, a strong opponent of marriage equality, said he was motivated to announce his support after learning that federal law did not provide protections to LGBT employees. "I've had people come and talk to me about how they were discriminated against," Corbett said. "The federal government has anti-discrimination laws. I believed they covered it." (ABC News; The Philadelphia Inquirer) In the New York Legislature, a bill banning "conversion therapy" for LGBT minors was introduced. California and New Jersey recently passed similar bans. "I'm hopeful that the issue will attract the same bipartisan support it has in other states," said Democratic state Senator Brad Hoylman, the chamber's only openly gay member. Meanwhile, Maryland Delegate Jon Cardin (D) introduced a bill that would prohibit LGBT "conversion therapy" on minors. "There are numerous gay-conversion-therapy providers...right here in Maryland advocating for what I consider very harmful conversion therapies," said Cardin. Also in Maryland, state Senator Rich Madaleno (D) introduced a bill that would prohibit housing, employment, and public-accommodation discrimination against transgender residents. The bill is similar to legislation that failed to pass last year. It would make Maryland the 18th state, along with Washington, DC, to prohibit discrimination based on gender identity. (The Wall Street Journal; Gay Star News; Advocate.com) (continued on page 7)

February 2014

CHALLENGE

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F eb ru ary 2014 Q- m u n it y Calen d ar Recurri n g Con t act I n form at i on

* Hackensack Peer Support Groups: 800-508-7577; www.njbuddies.org † Pride Center, Highland Park: 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org ‡ Hudson Pride Connections Center: 201-963-4779; HudsonPride.org λ LGBT Center Rainbow Lounge, Princeton: www.princeton.edu/lgbt ♦ North Jersey PrimeTimers: www.meetup.com/North-Jersey-Primetimers Every Sunday 10:45 am - MCC of Christ the Liberator, Highland Park; tombohache10 @ gmail.com Noon - St. Francis of Assisi Church, Glen Ridge; 973-731-7765; stfrancisnj.org 2:30 pm - Liberation in Truth Unity Fellowship Church, Newark; 973-621-2100 5:30 pm - Central Jersey Rainbows Bowling League, Bradley Beach; CJRBowling @ gmail.com 7:00 pm - Chapter 9 - Couples in Recovery, Highland Park † Every Monday 10:30 am - The Wellness Community, Newark; 973-565-0300; info @ hyacinth.org 7:00 pm - GAAMC, Morristown (see page 2) 7:00 pm - Bowling, Union; merenl @ comcast.net 7:00 pm - S.E.L.F. HIV Men’s support group, Hackensack * 7:30 pm - New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus choir practice, Princeton; 609-396-7774; www.njgmc.org 7:30 pm - Overeaters Anonymous, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Bowling, Green Brook; qcrollers @ aol.com Every Tuesday 12:30 pm - The Wellness Community, Newark; 973-565-0300; info @hyacinth.org 4:00 pm - Treatment Adherence Support Group, Jersey City; 201-432-1134; info @hyacinth.org 6:30 pm - TransView, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - NA Group, Jersey City ‡ 7:30 pm - Tuesday Night Lesbian Connection, Bound Brook; 908-791-3764 7:30 pm - Men’s HIV support group, Asbury Park; 732-7755084; apstillpoz @ yahoo.com 7:30 pm - Positive Yoga, Oradell * 8:45 pm - Bowling, Belleville; 973-256-5936; NJGLB @ aol.com 9:00 pm - Bowling, Jersey City; 201-933-6028; JoeyNJ @ aol.com 9:15 pm - Bowling, Edison; 732-548-4550; cnjgbl @ yahoo.com

Every Wednesday 10:30 am - The Wellness Community, Jersey City; 201-432-1134; info @hyacinth.org 2:30 pm - RU Pride, Newark; 973-353-5716 6:00 pm - Positive People peer support group, Hackensack * 6:00 pm - SAGE, Jersey City ‡ 7:30 pm - Men’s Living Out group, Highland Park; njwarrior @ aol.com † 7:30 pm - Gay Men’s Coming Out group, Highland Park; njwarrior@aol.com † Every Thursday 6:00 pm - Our Youth weekly support group, Jersey City; www.myspacenj.org 6:30 pm - Ties Like Mine, Jersey City ‡ 6:30 pm - Double Jeopardy peer support group, Hackensack * 6:30 pm - Hudson Men of Pride, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - Sexual Assault Survivor Support, Princeton; www.hitops.org 7:30 pm - Rainbows on Cleveland Street, Orange; 973-256-5936; rbowsoncleveland @ aol.com 7:30 pm - Writers group, Highland Park † Every Friday 3:00 pm - Youth Connect, Jersey City ‡ Monday – Friday 8:00 am to 4:00 pm - HIV testing, Morristown; 973-889-6802 9:00 am to 1:00 pm - HIV testing, Asbury Park; 800-947-0020 10:00 am to 5:00 pm - HiTOPS Health Center, Princeton; www.hitops.org; 609-683-5155 x 211

01 Sat 1:00 pm - Women of Pride, Jersey City ‡ 2:30 pm - First and Third for GLBTI youth, Princeton; 609-683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 7:30 pm - Women's Arts & Music Performance Series, Highland Park †

05 Wed 4:30 pm - "Race Decoded: New Paradigms and Problems of the 21st Century", Princeton λ 7:30 pm - Business Killers Seminar, Jersey City ‡ 7:30 pm - Gay Dad’s discussion group, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - Jersey Boys of Leather, Highland Park †

02 Sun 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-509-0118; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 6:30 pm - Gay Men’s Opera Club; 732-249-9034; hagol @ msn.com

06 Thu 8:00 am - IvyQ Conference, Princeton λ 5:30 pm - Breast Cancer Research: Mindfulness I, Jersey City ‡ (See page 11 online for more info) 7:00 pm - Coffee Night, Edison; njlgh.onefireplace.com

03 Mon 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero @ umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Ocean; schiffman @ rocketmail.com

07 Fri 5:45 pm - IvyQ Conference Keynote with Janet Mock, Princeton λ 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack * 8:00 pm - Karaoke, Highland Park †

04 Tue 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, New Brunswick; www.GPBN.net 7:30 pm - LGBT Fellowship, Belleville; 973-751-0616 7:30 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - NJ Women Coming Out Support, Highland Park † 9:00 pm - Rugelach & Refreshments with LGBTQ*J, Princeton λ

08 Sat 12:30 pm - IPG Gender Spectrum Support Group for Youth & Parents, Jersey City ‡ 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Highland Park † 2:00 pm - Raritan Valley LGBTI Community Connections, Somerville; noonstar @ mac.com 4:00 pm - Breast Cancer Research: Mindfulness I, Jersey City ‡ (See page 11 online for more info)

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08 Sat 6:30 pm - Pizza Party/Movie Night, Hazlet ♦ 7:00 pm - Movie Social, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Valentines Day Gala, Highland Park † (see Bulletin Board, page 3) 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick gay Catholic liturgy; 732-968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 09 Sun 4:00 pm - Out Pagans Discussion Group, Highland Park † 6:00 pm - Gay Men’s Classical Song Club, Kingston; pbrown02 @ worldnet.att.net 10 Mon 6:00 pm - A Conversation between Tim Wise and Imani Perry on White Privilege, Princeton λ 6:30 pm - HIV Testing, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Gay Night at CODA Bar and Kitchen, Maplewood ♦ 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Morris County, Mendham; 973-727-5288; pflag.morris @ verizon.net 7:30 pm - PFLAG, Princeton; 609-663-5155; www.pflagprinceton.org 11 Tue 4:30 pm 6:00 pm 7:30 pm 8:00 pm

- Active Allyship: Transgender 101, Princeton λ - Queering the Color Line, Princeton λ - Pride Center Board Meeting, Highland Park † - Men's Social Night, Highland Park †

18 Tue 7:00 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - Lesbian Alliance of Princeton; 609-924-8174; Loisj @ msn.com 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Hunterdon County, Flemington; 908-752-1370; pflaghc @ yahoo.com 7:30 pm - Caregiver Support Group, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - PFLAG of Bergen County, Paramus; 201-287-0318; www.bergenpflag.org 8:00 pm - NJ Women, Secaucus; info @ njwomen.org 19 Wed 7:30 pm - United in Grace discussion/support group, Jersey City; 201-946-0650; greg.perez @ comcast.net 8:30 pm - Bowling, Boonton ♦ 20 Thu 6:00 pm - New Volunteer Orientation, Jersey City ‡ 7:00 pm - GAAMC board meeting, Morristown All GAAMC members are invited to attend.

7:00 pm - GLSEN Training, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - PCNJ HIV Planning Committee, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - NJ Women Coming Out Support Group, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Northwest NJ, Sparta; 973-729-9909 7:30 pm - Volunteer Group Meeting, Jersey City ‡ 7:30 pm - Board Meeting, Edison; njlgh.onefireplace.com 7:30 pm - NJ Women Coming Out Support, Highland Park †

12 Wed 7:30 am - Living Out Women, Highland Park † 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, Asbury Park; www. GPBN.net 6:30 pm - North Jersey Prime Timers' monthly meetup, Little Falls ♦

21 Fri 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack * 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick social; 732-968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 8:00 pm - Out of the Box open mic night, Highland Park (Sign-up begins 7:30); outoftheboxinfo @ mac.com

13 Thu 7:00 pm - Qspot Book Club, Point Pleasant; outdoorgirl @ optonline.net 7:00 pm - Under the Rainbow, Highland Park † 7:30 pm - PFLAG of North Jersey, South Orange; 908-789-7489; pflagwaver @ aol.com 7:30 pm - Alternate Thursdays, Montclair; kjdinkin @ comcast.net 7:30 pm - Kollege of Kink, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Booked for Supper, Highland Park †

22 Sat 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Gay Bowling, Asbury Lanes, Asbury Park; 732-776-6160 7:30 pm - Documentary, The Upstairs Lounge Fire, Princeton λ

14 Fri 7:30 pm - Rock Band/Guitar Hero, Highland Park †

24 Mon 6:30 pm - Dinner, Wayne ♦

15 Sat 1:00 pm - Women of Pride, Jersey City ‡ 2:30 pm - First and Third for GLBTI youth, Princeton; 609-683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 7:00 pm - Rainbow Bowling, Bradley Beach; 732-774-4540 7:00 pm - NJ Gay Film Society & Potluck Dinner Club, location TBA; gayfilms @ bigfoot.com

25 Tue 4:30 pm - Dangerous Crossings: Race, Species, and Nature in a Multicultural Age, Princeton λ 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, Asbury Park; www. GPBN.net 6:30 pm - Jewels in HD from the Bolshoi, Cranford ♦ 7:00 pm - Bisexual, Bi-curious and Allies Support Group, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Stonewall Democrats, Highland Park † 8:30 pm - Men's Social, Highland Park †

16 Sun 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-509-0118; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 4:00 pm - TrueSelves trans support group, Highland Park † 17 Mon 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero @ umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Ocean; schiffman @ rocketmail.com 7:30 pm - Young Men's Social Network, Highland Park †

23 Sun 3:00 pm - The Lavender Cinema Club, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Bowling at Eagle Rock Lanes, West Orange ♦

26 Wed 7:30 pm - Living Out Women, Highland Park † 27 Thu 7:00 pm - Under the Rainbow, Highland Park † 28 Fri 10:30 am - LGBT Task Force of NJCBW, Highland Park † 7:00 pm - Film at Rutgers University, New Brunswick ♦ 7:30 pm - Living Soulfully, Highland Park † 8:00 pm - Shabbat Service, Metuchen; njlgh.onefireplace.com

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Gleanings

(continued from page 4) Prospective jurors can't be removed because they are gay, a federal appeals court has decided. The unanimous decision by a three-judge panel of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals overturned a jury verdict in a federal antitrust trial that involved an AIDS medication, because a prospective gay juror was struck. It extends a protection once reserved in federal courts for race and gender to sexual orientation. The panel said gays and lesbians had long suffered discrimination and should be given the same constitutional protections long accorded to race. Wrote Judge Stephen Reinhardt for the court, “Strikes exercised on the basis of sexual orientation continue this deplorable tradition of treating gays and lesbians as undeserving of participation in our nation’s most cherished rites and rituals. [Jury duty] gives gay and lesbian individuals a means of articulating their values and a voice in resolving controversies that affect their lives as well as the lives of all others.

To allow peremptory strikes because of assumptions based on sexual orientation is to revoke this civil responsibility, demeaning the dignity of the individual and threatening the impartiality of the judicial system.” Thirteen civil rights groups, citing the Supreme Court's June ruling on same-sex marriage, had urged the 9th Circuit to extend protections to gays in federal jury pools. The Supreme Court barred removing jurors based on race in 1986 and later extended the prohibition to gender. (Los Angeles Times) Utah Governor Gary Herbert (R) has instructed state agencies not to recognize the marriages of nearly 1,400 same-sex couples, following the Supreme Court's decision to place a stay on a ruling that had brought marriage equality to the state. Utah couples began to wed after a court ruling brought marriage equality to the state. "Based on counsel from the Attorney General's Office regarding the Supreme Court decision, state recognition of same-sex marital status is ON HOLD until further notice," said a letter from Herbert's chief of staff. Meanwhile, Delaware joined Maryland, Maine, Washington, the District of Columbia, and the federal government as jurisdictions that will recognize the Utah marriages.

Beau Biden, the attorney general of Delaware, said, "Marriage equality is the law in Delaware and I strongly believe that individuals outside our state borders should be equally free to choose whom to love and whom to spend their lives with."

(ABC News; Washington Blade; The Washington Post) Federal judge Timothy Black ruled that Ohio must recognize same-sex marriages on death certificates. The ruling stemmed from a lawsuit by two gay men whose spouses had recently died. Judge Black cited the Supreme Court's June ruling striking down part of the Defense of Marriage Act in his decision: "[T]he question presented is whether a state can do what the federal government cannot.... Under the Constitution of the United States, the answer is no." The Ohio attorney general's office initiated an appeal of Judge Black's decision. Attorney General Mike DeWine (R) had promised to appeal it shortly after the decision was handed down in December. (The Washington Post; The Cincinnati Enquirer) A case in Texas calling for legalizing same-sex marriages there, and to require Texas to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states, won't be consolidated with two separate samesex marriage cases. This marks a federal court victory, as US District Judge Sam Sparks declined a request by the state to consolidate three cases challenging the state's 2005 Constitutional Amendment banning the practice in the state. "Our fear was consolidation would slow down the process," said Neal Lane, the lawyer for two same sex couples whose case now will come before the court in San Antonio in February. (WOAI, San Antonio)

Attorneys for three gay couples living in West Virginia filed a motion for summary judgment, urging U.S. District Judge Robert C. Chambers to unilaterally strike down West Virginia’s law banning same-sex marriage. The filing comes three months after the couples challenged the state’s law arguing it violates their 14th Amendment rights to due process and equal protection. This motion furthers that argument with a piece-by-piece attack rebutting those who oppose same-sex marriage. The motion describes West Virginia’s ban as unconstitutional under any standard of review, arguing it denies the couples equal protection and the fundamental right to marry the person he or she loves. It draws parallels with antiquated arguments over interracial marriage and disputes others regarding procreation, saying no law prohibits marriage by the “sterile and the elderly.” (The Herald-Dispatch, Huntington, WV) Two married same-sex couples in Kansas have filed a lawsuit seeking to overturn a law that prevents them from filing joint tax returns. The suit claims that the state Department of Revenue's refusal to allow same-sex couples to file jointly violates state laws that tie Kansas tax code policy to that of the federal government, which does allow married same-sex couples to file jointly. (The Kansas City Star) An appeals court in Indiana ruled that the state's marriageequality ban does not invalidate marriages in which one partner legally changes gender. The three-judge panel criticized a lower court judge's decision to reject a divorce petition from a woman and her transgender spouse on the grounds that she could not dissolve a marriage that was already void under Indiana law. Meanwhile, Indiana legislators are debating a bill that would allow voters to decide this fall whether to amend the state Constitution to ban marriage equality, civil unions and same-sex domestic partnerships. The state House Judiciary Committee heard arguments from both sides but delayed a vote that could have advanced the bill.

(Advocate.com; The Indianapolis Star) Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe (D) signed an executive order that prohibits workplace discrimination against LGBT state employees. McAuliffe signed the order just hours after his inauguration ceremony in Richmond. "The foundational tenet of this executive order is premised upon a steadfast commitment to foster a culture of inclusion, diversity and mutual respect for all Virginians," the order said. While Tim Kaine and Mark Warner issued similar orders during their tenures as governor, McAuliffe's is the first to incorporate gender identity and expression protections. (Advocate.com) President Barack Obama signed a bill lifting restrictions on using the organs of HIV-positive people which could eventually pave the way for organ donations between HIV-positive patients. The HIV Organ Policy Equity Act, which passed Congress with bipartisan support, repeals a ban that had been in place since 1988. "The potential for successful organ transplants between people living with HIV has become more of a (continued on next page)

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It’s About Our Spouses, Dummy

by Mark Segal

The last three years have been intense, the last three months more intense and the last three weeks almost unbearable. This past week alone saw three pinnacles in my life: the populating of the John C. Anderson Apartments; my birthday; and, most important of all, my and Jason’s 10th anniversary.

Any achievement any of us makes is in some respect related to our spouses, and the support and advice that they give us, or just their ability to put up with our longsuffering projects. (That last part was truly about my relationship with Jason.)

Last year, after the excitement of the groundbreaking of JCAA, about the only negative comment I got was from someone who wrote on Facebook, “Why did Mark have to mention his partner in his remarks?”

Ten years ago when I met Jason, I was not in a good place.

That didn’t frighten Jason off; instead, he made me realize that my best days were ahead of me and he understood and encouraged me to find other mountains to climb.

The simple answer is because he is my partner and I’m proud of him and what he contributes.

But there’s a more important reason that that comment has to be addressed. We in the LGBT community at times do not give enough credit to our partners.

Those of you who have watched my career or activism over the last almost-45 years now might have noticed how focused, assured and successful the last 10 years have been. Much of that is thanks to the man who each night gets me to take a breath, step back and see the world.

When you watch the Academy Awards in a few weeks, note how many of the winners thank their husbands or wives. It’s expected. The same holds true on election nights around the country: Winners and losers thank their spouses. But it is still rare for those in the LGBT community to do the same.

Are we ashamed of our relationships?

Happy anniversary, Jason. You’ve made me a happy man.

(At left: Jason and Mark at the Academy of Music ball, January 2013.)

This article first appeared in the Philadelphia Gay News, January 16th issue.

With all the support for marriage equality out there, you’d think we’d have a little more respect for our spouses.

Gleanings

(continued from page 7) possibility," Obama said. "The HOPE Act lifts the research ban, and, in time, it could lead to life-saving organ donations for people living with HIV." (MetroWeekly, DC) Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel announced Friday that every state's National Guard unit is now in compliance with an order from the Pentagon to extend benefits to all service members' spouses. "All military spouses and families sacrifice on behalf of our country," Hagel said in the statement. "They deserve our respect and the benefits they are entitled to under the law."

Nine states had initially refused to comply with the directive, citing state laws that ban marriage equality. (MSNBC) The Boy Scouts of America opened its doors to openly gay members for the first time, marking a major reversal of policy brought on by years of advocacy from LGBT groups and allies.

The change comes more than six months after the Boy Scouts' National Council approved ending the ban, and instituted a policy that forbids any applicant younger than 18 from being denied admittance based on their sexual orientation. Equality advocates say they plan to push the Boy Scouts of America to end their longstanding ban on admitting openly gay adult Scout leaders, which was left in place. "We know that change won't happen overnight, and we're ready to do the work," said Zach Wahls of Scouts for Equality. (PBS The Rundown) India's law minister, Kapil Sibal, said that his government will seek judicial review of the Supreme Court ruling reinstating the country's 160-year-old anti-homosexuality law, instituted during British colonial rule. The decision to appeal the case rather than seek to repeal the law through parliamentary action is expected to slow the process of overturning the ruling, as five justices must review the decision. (Gay Star News) A vast majority of Croatian voters supported a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriages in a referendum. About 65%

voted in favor of the ban. The amendment passed despite the opposition of President Ivo Josipovic, who vowed to respect the voters’ wishes but signaled the government will continue working for LGBT equality. Observers are calling the outcome a victory for Catholic leaders, who urged the 90% of Croatians who identify as Catholic to support the constitutional amendment. (ABC News) Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan signed a bill criminalizing LGBT marriage, behavior and advocacy. The law sets prison terms of up to 14 years for some offenses and of five years for failing to report LGBT behavior. "More than 90 percent of Nigerians are opposed to same-sex marriage. So, the law is in line with our cultural and religious beliefs as a people," Reuben Abati, a presidential spokesman, said. (Reuters) The Chilean Senate voted 28-6 to advance legislation that would legalize same-sex civil unions. The bill would allow same-sex couples to receive most of the benefits afforded to heterosexual married couples. "We have been given an opportunity to go one step further towards no discrimination," Sen. María Isabel Allende said after the vote. (The Santiago Times) British mathematician Alan Turing, a pioneer inventor of computer technology who helped break Germany's Enigma code during World War II, received a formal pardon from Queen Elizabeth II this month on charges of homosexuality, nearly 60 years after his death. Turing committed suicide two years after his conviction and forced castration. "His action saved countless lives," Prime Minister David Cameron said in a statement.

"He also left a remarkable national legacy through his substantial scientific achievements." (The New York Times)

February 2014

CHALLENGE

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Minutes of the GAAMC Board of Trustees Meeting, December 19, 2013 Attendance Voting Trustees: Harris, Kennedy, Rase, Rubin, Skurna Non-Voting Attendees: Joe Gygax, Allen Neuner, Mark Wydner The meeting began at 7:13 pm.

I. Adoption of minutes: The minutes of the November meeting were not adopted due to lack of a quorum.

II.Old Business: None.

III.New Business: Dropbox Changes: contact info for new board members has been updated. Permissions status needs to be updated in January.

Square, Inc.: Andy opened an account which will make credit card transactions easier for all concerned.

Board Retreat: Gordon gave available dates. A final decision on the date was deferred.

IV. Reports: President: Andy Skurna — Written report on file.

Acting Treasurer: Andy Skurna — Written report on file.

Challenge: Allen Neuner — January 15th is the deadline for the February issue.

Programs: Sherri Rase — Holiday show, December 23rd; Movie night, December 30th; Karaoke night, January 20th; Game night, January 27th.

Discussion Group Resources: Gordon Sauer — Written report on file.

V. Save These Dates: January 6th, transition to new Board of Trustees VI. Ideas & Suggestions: Discussion on needs for upgrading DVD and associated equipment. Possible need for BluRay, WiFi capabilities for Hulu/Netflix, new TV/monitor, new cables. Furniture placement and venue (Library vs. Terrace) discussed. Andy and Ron agreed to research hardware options.

VII. Adjournment: Motion to adjourn passed unanimously (moved, Rase; seconded, Harris) The meeting adjourned at 8:16 pm.

Good Eats!

by Chef Kevin King Crock Pot Lasagna 1 lb ground beef Lasagna noodles 1 jar spaghetti sauce 1½ cups cottage cheese 1 ½ cups shredded Mozzarella cheese 2 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese Brown ground beef and drain. Spoon 1 cup spaghetti sauce in bottom of 4 quart crock pot. Mix remaining sauce with beef.

Place 2 uncooked lasagna noodles on sauce in crock pot.

Spread 1/3 meat mixture on top of noodles. Spread ¾ cup cottage cheese over meat. Sprinkle ½ cup Mozzarella cheese over cottage cheese. Add another layer of uncooked noodles, 1/3 meat mixture, the remaining cottage cheese, and ½ cup Mozzarella cheese. Place another layer of uncooked noodles, meat mixture, and Mozzarella cheese.

Sprinkle Parmesan cheese over top. Cook on low for 4 hours. If cooked much longer, it gets a bit too well done.

KEVIN P. SUSZKO, PC Certified Public Accountant

- TAX PLANNING & PREPARATION - FINANCIAL PLANNING - A CCOUNTING SERVICES - DAY & EVENING APPOINTMENTS - OFFICES IN NEW JERSEY & NYC Phone: 973–376–4121 P. O. Box 701 Short Hills, NJ 07078 E-Mail: KPSCPA@GMAIL.COM

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GAY ACTIVIST ALLIANCE IN MORRIS COUNTY

Officers President (President@GAAMC.org) — Sherri Rase VP Community Services (Info@GAAMC.org) — Gordon Sauer VP Operations (Operations@GAAMC.org) — Mickey Suiter Secretary (Secretary@GAAMC.org) — Ron Kennedy Treasurer (Treasurer@GAAMC.org) — John DeLeeuw Trustees

GAAMC, the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County, has served New Jersey’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and intersexed communities since 1972. GAAMC is a notfor-profit volunteer-run organization that provides social, educational, and outreach programs. GAAMC also offers opportunities for individuals to become politically active on issues related to the GLBTI communities. Our intent is to maintain a positive, healthy, respectful, and supportive environment in a safe space.

Meetings are held every Monday evening at the Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, 21 Normandy Heights Road, Morristown, NJ (near the Morris Museum). Discussion groups usually meet from 7:00 to 8:00. The evening's program usually starts shortly after 8:00. Refreshments are available. For program information, check our homepage at www.GAAMC.org. Members and non-members are always welcome.

Kerry Dinkin, Marty Grifone, Joe Gygax, Frank Lucek, Rich Schaublin, Liz Slicer Committee Chairs & Functional Officers Challenge Editor — Allen Neuner (Challenge@GAAMC.org) Discussion Group Resources — Gordon Sauer (Discussions@GAAMC.org) GAAMC Outings — Open Information — Andy Skurna (FreeLibrary@GAAMC.org) Membership — Open Pride Events — Mickey Suiter Pride Guide — Andy Skurna (PrideGuide@GAAMC.org) Programs — Sherri Rase (Programs@GAAMC.org) Publicity — Open Socials — John DeLeeuw (Socials@GAAMC.org) Webmaster — Andy Skurna (Webmaster@GAAMC.org)

Annual membership dues are: Regular, $40/single, $70/couple; Students/Seniors, $30/single, $60/couple.

Those looking to help out at GAAMC can contact Gordon Sauer at Info@GAAMC.org.

How to reach GAAMC Mail: PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961 Telephone: 973-285-1595 E-Mail: info@gaamc.org Home page: www.GAAMC.org Mail List: groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/gaamc Facebook: www.facebook.com/gaamc Challenge online edition: issuu.com/gaamc/docs

PREVIEWS OF COMING ATTRACTIONS! February 10th

February 17th

February 24th

Separate Discussions

Valentine's Social

Marsha & Louise

See "GAAMC Events", page 2, for more details!

February 2014

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Still the best guide to New Jersey Pride http://issuu.com/gaamc/docs/prideguide11

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