Challenge, Summer 2010

CHALLENGE The Newsletter of the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County – Serving New Jersey’s GLBTI Communities Since 1972

Volume 36, Issue 6, Summer 2010

Republicans, At It Again

by Andy Skurna

In recent years I’ve received questionnaires from the GOP, asking my opinion on many matters that I am sure are of vital interest to the party. Oddly, these questionnaires also ask for a donation or at the very least a minimal “processing fee.”

Inside Challenge

The questions are often crafted in such a way as to clearly indicate the authors’ desired responses, and to agitate or frighten the reader into parting with a check. The funds will surely be used to fight the good fight and crush the opposition.

The questionnaire I received last week states, “…the Republican Party is conducting a Census of Congressional Districts all across America. The opinions registered in this document will be used to help ensure that our Republican leaders and candidates are specifically addressing those issues most important to voters in your area.” If that’s true, then my results will be shared with the Honorable Rodney Frelinghuysen, representing District 11.

Now, I have to admit, I have completed some past surveys and sent them in, though never with the contribution or even the processing fee. Call me a cynic, but I suspect no one actually looks at the responses. Michael Steele and friends probably already know what they plan to do just as well as I know their goal is to keep as much distance between me and my rights as possible.

This year’s processing fee has gone up from $11 to $15. But the questions are offensive enough that it may be worth $15 for the opportunity to vent.

GAAMC Events........................... page 2 The Bulletin Board..................... page 3 This Month's Contributors............. page 3 Pride Weekend Event Checklist..... page 3 Gleanings................................. page 4 Good Eatin'! ..............................page 5 What's the Trouble with Bottled Water?................................... page 6 Hike-Nic Lately, Anyone?.............. page 6 Calendar .................................. page 7 A Brief GLBT History of New Jersey........................... page 10 Doing the 25th Anniversary AIDS Walkathon...................... page 11 Valentine for Adrianna.............. page 11 Coming Out............................. page 12 Dancing to Architecture............. page 13 GAAMC Information................... page 16

Here are some of Section III’s greatest hits: 4.

Do you believe the huge, costly Democrat-passed stimulus bill has been effective in creating jobs or stimulating America’s economy?

5. Do you think the record trillion dollar federal deficit the Democrats are creating with their out-of-control spending is going to have disastrous consequences for our nation?

16. Do you believe the Republican Party should continue to embrace social issues? □ Yes □ No □ No Opinion If yes, please register your opinion on the following social issues: Key:

1 = Support

2 = Oppose

3= No Opinion

__ School prayer

__ Faith based initiatives

10. Do you approve of the Federal Government’s takeover of America’s health care system?

__ Ban burning the flag

__ Ban all abortions

__ Ban human cloning

__ Prohibit same sex marriage

11. Do you agree that all Americans should be required to have some form of health insurance?

__ Other ________________

If you’d like a copy of the entire, four-page long “Census,” send an email to President @ GAAMC.org. I will happily email a copy.

Note, the facts and opinions stated heretofore are those of Andy Skurna, who just happens to be the president of GAAMC. It should not be assumed that GAAMC, or another living soul at GAAMC, shares these opinions.

Page 2 CHALLENGE Summer 2010 CHALLENGE Volume 36, Number 6 Summer 2010 ISSN 0277-1675 Staff Editor .....................Allen Neuner Assistant Editor ............. Bill Stella Advertising Manager ............. open Circulation Manager ............. open List Manager ................ Sue Harris Submissions The deadline for all articles, inserts, and advertisements is the fifteenth of the previous month. All submissions must be provided as electronic files. E-mail submissions to Challenge @ GAAMC.org.

Ad Rates Single issue: Full page, $125.00; Half page, $85.00; Quarter page, $45.00; Business card, $25.00. For multi-issue rates, contact the Editor.

GAAMC members may place one free classified ad per month, of no more than 200 characters in length.

Change of Address Please let us know your new address! All address changes should be sent to the List Manager at ChangeAddress @ GAAMC.org.

Challenge is © 2010-2011 by the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County, a 501(c)3 tax-exempt not-for-profit corporation. All rights reserved. All articles reflect the views of the original contributors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or policies of GAAMC, its officers, or executive board. All copyrights revert to the original contributors upon publication. No portion of this publication may be reproduced without the express written permission of the contributor. All articles, contributions, and advertisements are printed at the discretion of the Editor and/or GAAMC Executive Board.

GAAMC Events Every Monday Circles-NJ Discussion Group This is a closed discussion group, lasting roughly twelve weeks, with a limited number of participants. Circles will be meeting through July 12th. For information regarding Circles meetings after that date, contact moderator Gordon Sauer at discussions @ GAAMC.org or at any Monday night meeting. 7:00, Dining Room OpenTalk Discussion Group This is a regular weekly discussion group, open to all. Moderators: Elias Scultori, Kerry Dinkin, Sherri Rase. 7:00, Library

First Monday of the Month Mature Men's Discussion Group This is a monthly discussion group geared to men age 45 and above. Moderator: Marty Grifone. Discussion topics: July 5th, "Handling Life Crises"; August 2nd, "Becoming Socially Active". 7:00, Room 100

Main Events July 5: It's GAAMC's July 4th Ice Cream Social! GAAMC supplies frozen treats and, if you are so moved, you show off your baking chops! How about baking some cookies to make ice cream sandwiches? Brownies for brownie sundaes or something we can make a la mode with a wee bit of ice cream? Our bakers always rise to the challenge, and so should you! See you there!

July 12: GAAMC's Film Festival continues with the sexy, historic, and moving Aimee and Jaguar, a film where love bursts forth between a Jewish journalist and the wife of a German officer among the ruins of World War II. July 19: What’s the Trouble with Bottled Water? On Monday, July 19, at 8:00 pm, the environmental committee (Green Earth Ministry) at Morristown Unitarian Fellowship (MUF) will give a presentation about bottled water. The 15-member committee seeks to encourage earth-friendly practices within MUF, our own lives, and our larger communities. (See article, page 6.)

July 26: Come out to GAAMC’s Gayme Night for Summer! Are you a card player, a Scrabble player, or someone who wants to enjoy some good old fashioned fun? Join us in the Terrace Room for a fabulous summer entertainment.

August 2: The Shakespeare Theatre of New Jersey’s Next Stage Ensemble regales us with pocket-sized Shakespeare as they present the romantic comedy As You LIke It. This is an annual event at GAAMC, so bring the kids and your folks and we’ll have a blast – this ensemble is one to watch! These young stars also appear in main stage productions in Madison, so catch them now while they are rising!

August 9: Summer fun can go south quickly with even a small injury. Join public safety specialist and Red Cross instructor Suzanne Kupiec as she helps us know what to do when seconds count.

August 16: Fresh Perspectives Retreat Update. GAAMC spoke with our members and guests to set our course for the season; now it’s time to report on what we’ve done. Have we remained true to our goals? How can we get more involvement from the community? What would help us become more diverse? Come to hear where we’ve come, how we’re progressing and how important you are to our success!

August 23: GAAMC Sing-a-Long! Will it be Hairspray? Will it be Funny Girl? Will it be The Sound of Music? Check our website for up to the minute details on some good clean fun!

August 30: GAAMC’s Chorus brings you Broadway Backwards! For a long time now we’ve been singing songs without switching the pronouns, but you have to hear the widely varied and colorful selections by GAAMC’s finest singers!

Coming Next Month!

September 6: GAAMC’s annual Labor Day Social features you! GAAMC supplies the grill food and you supply the delicious dishes on the side! For Memorial Day, members and guests brought delicious eggplant parmigiana, sausage and peppers, vegetarian chili with quinoa, cheesecake, cookies, deviled eggs and more, all from special family recipes. Show us what you have to offer and enjoy one of the best cookouts you’ll attend this season. We’ll see you there!

September 13: It's GAAMC’s Birthday Celebration! GAAMC turns 38 this year, so help us celebrate the anniversary of our "coming out"! We’re here because we were needed then and we’re needed now, and we need you! Have a piece of cake and ring in a new year of support, pride, and community!

Summer 2010 CHALLENGE Page 3

The Bulletin Board North Jersey Prime Timers invite the members of GAAMC's new Mature Men's Activity Group to two upcoming events.

On July 8th, you're invited to My Big Gay Italian Wedding, the hilarious off-Broadway comedy starring Reichen Lehmkuhl (The Amazing Race). The show is playing at St. Luke's Theatre on West 46th Street; attendees should meet at the theatre at 7:30 for the 8:00 performance. Tickets, costing $39.50, must be obtained individually by going to BroadwayOffers.com or calling 212-947-8844 and mentioning code BGHHC49. The following month, a trip to Sandy Hook is scheduled for August 11th or 12th, depending on the weather. Attendees should meet at Gunnison Beach around 10:00 a.m. Each attendee must provide his own transportation and pay an entrance fee of $10. For both events, contact Marty Grifone at mgrifone @ embarqmail.com or call him at 201-841-0826 for more information or to RSVP. Summer's here, which means it's time for the ninth annual Asbury Park Road Trip Weekend! From July 15th through the 18th, it's fun in the sun, on the beach, and at some of the hottest entertainment events at the Jersey shore!

Kicking off on Thursday the 15th with comedienne Maggie Cassella and the band Betty at the Stone Pony, culminating in a huge pool party Sunday the 18th at the Berkeley Hotel, with dances, beach sports, and parties in between. Add the main event - Saturday's Sand Blast dance on the beach - to make this the one weekend you won't want to spend at home! See the calendar (page 8) for the complete list of events, or go to www.sandblastonline.com.

Room for All Christian Camp is gearing up for this summer's activities. The camp, which is open to GLBT youth from 15 to 17 years of age, will be held August 19 thru 22. Room for All, run under the auspices of the Reformed Church of Highland Park, seeks to create a safe space for GLBT youth to develop community and contemplate together their questions about life and God. While spending time with other teenagers and staff canoeing, swimming, hiking, and doing other traditional camp activities, the camp's participants are given an opprtunity to discuss and understand sexuality alongside their own spirituality. For more information, or to register, go to the Reformed Church's website at www.rchighlandpark.org.

Can you believe it? This year marks the tenth anniversary of JCLGO's Annual LGBT Pride Festival! They're back at the Hudson River waterfront at One Exchange Place in Jersey City, easy to reach by PATH and the light rail, and this year promises to be the best yet. And this year's Pride Festival includes the very first Pride March held in Jersey City! You're not going to want to miss out on this, so mark your calendars for Saturday, August 28th, and come celebrate Pride with JCLGO! For more information, go to www.jclgo.org.

Carol, Dolores & Claire, Deb, Gayle, Hollis, Linda & Jamie, Joel, Maggie, Peg & Peggy, Tom, Tony

This Month's Contributors Linda DeLap is a chairperson of Green Earth Ministry which seeks to encourage earth-friendly practices within Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, our own lives, and our larger communities.

Two of the committee’s goals are to generate commitment for personal, sustainable lifestyle changes and to build awareness of and rectify environmental injustices. The group is interested in a wide variety of topics, including global warming, ethical eating, and conservation of water, energy, and open space. With encouragement from the committee, MUF members and staff have been adopting sustainable practices, including limiting the use of bottled water.

The Easton Farmers' Market is the oldest farmers' market in the United States. The Market, located on Centre Square in Easton, Pennsylvania, is open on Saturdays from May through October, from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Paul Greenberg is a member of the GAAMC Board and Chairman of the Fundraising Committee.

Tony Puma is a new member of GAAMC. Mickey Suiter is one of the four founders of GAAMC. Currently a Board Trustee, Mickey has served in just about every capacity at GAAMC, and can be found volunteering his efforts every Monday night.

Bill Realman Stella writes Dancing to Architecture because writing about music is like that. He hosted the eclectic pop music show Highest Common Denominator in his mind for twenty years before getting it on the radio for six, and will host it again. Bill has been collecting music since age 4, when for each song he'd hear on the radio, he'd ask his mom, "Do they have a record?"

Making a record good enough to play on the radio remains a small miracle after all these years. If you'd like Bill to write, DJ, or promote for you, get in touch. Comments and suggestions also welcome. Please send your correspondences to bearealman @ gmail.com.

Joel Wechsler is a recently rejoining member of GAAMC.

Page 4 CHALLENGE Summer 2010

Gleanings

Queer news from around the world Seton Hall University will evaluate a scheduled course on public policy surrounding same-sex marriage after Newark Archbishop John Myers objected to its content. W. King Mott, the openly gay professor scheduled to teach the course, said cancelling the class because of its subject matter would be inappropriate at an academic institution.

(Star-Ledger)

The Mormon Church has been ordered to pay a $5,539 fine to California's Fair Political Practices Commission for failing to properly report roughly $37,000 in contributions on behalf of Proposition 8. While the Commission could have assessed a $5,000 fine for each violation, it opted for a streamlined process resulting in a deal with the Church for the $5,539 fine. (CBS News)

New York's Senate Judiciary Committee killed a bill that would have added gender identity or expression to the state's non-discrimination laws.

The bill, known as "GENDA", has passed the Assembly a number of times in the past. (New York Daily News)

The National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce severed its relationship with global fast-food giant McDonald's.

The group gave as its reason comments made by Don Thompson, McDonald's chief of operations, saying a gaythemed TV ad currently airing in France would not be shown in the United States. (Huffington Post)

New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn (D) is promoting a plan for the City Clerk's office to tell same-sex couples, when they apply for a domestic partnership, about the states and countries where they can legally wed. Quinn hopes her plan nudges state lawmakers into legalizing gay marriages; out-of-state gay weddings are legally recognized in New York. (New York Daily News) The Parliament of Iceland voted unanimously to legalize same-sex marriage in the country. Iceland's Prime Minister, Johanna Sigurdardottir, is the only openly gay head of state in the world. (Reuters) An American man has been reunited with his Brazilian husband, after the Brazilian was denied asylum in the US three years ago. Genesio Oliveira, who was married in Massachusetts to Tim Coco, was readmitted to the US under "humanitarian parole" for at least a year. (Associated Press) The Massachusetts' Attorney General's office asked a federal judge to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) as being unconstitutional.

Assistant AG Maura Healey argued that DOMA interferes with the right of states to define marriage and have those marriages acknowledged by the federal government. She also argued the law forces the state to discriminate against its own citizens in certain areas or risk losing federal funding. (365Gay.com) Judge Vaughn Walker delivered a list of questions for both sides in the federal trial over the constitutionality of California's Proposition 8 to ponder in crafting their closing arguments. Observers of the case believe that the questions indicate Judge Walker's decision will be deep, broad, and detailed in scope. Closing arguments are now completed; a decision will probably be issued this summer. It will most likely be appealed to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals and ultimately to the Supreme Court. (The Bilerico Project (www.bilerico.com); San Francisco Chronicle) The Internal Revenue Service issued a ruling that says gay couples in registered domestic partnerships in California must each report half of their combined incomes on individual tax returns. The ruling could mean significant tax advantages for such couples, and may also apply to other states with domestic-partner registration. (Wall Street Journal)

A high-level federal committee declined to recommend a change in restrictions on blood donations by gay men. The Advisory Committee on Blood Safety and Availability cited what they said was a tiny but unacceptable increased risk of contamination of the blood supply if current standards were changed; however, they also recommended a series of steps to guide health authorities in moving to a more nuanced policy that took individual behavior into account.

(Los Angeles Times) Two key Congressional votes are the beginning of a possible repeal of the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

Wording in an amendment to a defense authorization bill, approved by the full House of Representatives and the Senate Armed Services Committee, would immediately rescind the policy as law while delaying implementation until the results of a Pentagon study, due out this December, are released. (Washington Post; New York Times; Advocate.com) Same-sex domestic partners of US government employees gained expanded access to benefits after President Obama issued a memorandum outlining a new policy. Obama also said he hoped for quick passage of the Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligations Act, which would give LGBT federal workers the full range of benefits offered to their straight, married colleagues.

(Washington Post; Metro Weekly (Washington DC)) An expansion of federal personnel policy will allow federal workers to take leave to attend to sick or deceased domestic partners. The policy expansion, part of reforms ordered last year by President Obama, added stepparents, stepchildren, grandparents, grandchildren, and both samesex and opposite-sex domestic partners to the list of relationships that permit a federal worker to take leave.

(Washington Post) The Department of Justice determined the federal Violence Against Women Act applies to gay and lesbian couples. The determination by the Department is being seen as a positive step toward recognizing the need for federal(continued on next page)

Summer 2010 CHALLENGE Page 5

Gleanings

(continued from previous page) level legal acknowledgement of same-sex relationships.

(New York Times)

strations were already over. (Agence France-Presse; Associated Press)

The State Department announced that transgender Americans will be allowed to change their gender on their passports if they obtain a doctor's note confirming they are under treatment for gender transition. Previous rules required the completion of sex-reassignment surgery. The Department says it timed its announcement to coincide with Pride Month. (CNN)

A Malawi couple, pardoned and freed by the country's president after being sentenced to 14 years for celebrating their engagement, could be re-arrested if they violate a law against gay sex again. The statement was made by Patricia Kaliati, Malawi's Minister of Gender and Children.

(BBC)

Dutch researchers found that gays and lesbians performed better at noticing very small details in tests designed to gauge perception. The researchers think this ability is the source of "gaydar", and believe that gays and lesbians are much more analytic than heterosexuals. (The Daily Mail (London)) A 24-year study concluded that children raised in lesbian households were psychologically well-adjusted and had fewer behavioral problems than their peers. The study, published in the journal Pediatrics, followed 78 couples who conceived through sperm donations and assessed their children's well-being through a series of questionnaires and interviews. (CNN) A United Nations committee has rejected the application of the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC) for consultative status at the Economic and Social Council.

While the United States and the United Kingdom both supported the application, the approval motion lost on a 9-9 vote (with Turkey abstaining).

(Reuters) Moscow Pride organizers used disciplined planning and diversionary tactics to outwit police and hold peaceful LGBT protest gatherings on May 29. Since the originally planned gathering was banned by Moscow's mayor, activists organized rapid protests. The police were fed disinformation, so that they arrived at protest sites after the demon-

Hawaii Governor Linda Lingle (R) says she will take her time crafting a careful message about her decision to sign or veto recently passed civil unions legislation. The Governor has put the bill on the veto list, which informs lawmakers about bills she might veto; however, this does not mean she will definitely veto the bill. If a veto is to be cast by the Governor, it must be done by July 6. (Honolulu Advertiser; KITV) Tulsa, Oklahoma's City Council added sexual orientation to the city's personnel nondiscrimination policy. In a 6-3 vote, sexual orientation was added to the list of protected classes. (Tulsa World) Delaware's House Appropriations Committee passed a bill allowing state workers with same-sex partners to purchase health coverage from the state's plan for their "spousal equivalent". Numerous states, towns, and corporations currently offer this benefit, according to the bill's sponsor, Rep. Teresa Schooley (D). (Sussex Countian (DE)) "Frank Kameny Way", a two-block section of 17th Street between P and R Streets, NW in the heart of the Dupont Circle neighborhood, was dedicated June 10th.

Mayor Adrian Fenty presided over a ceremony dedicating the name change, which honors Kameny, a leader in the struggle to secure gay civil rights starting in the late 1950's and founder of the Mattachine Society of Washington, the city's first gay group. (Washington Blade)

Good Eatin'!

Recipes from the Easton Farmers' Market Escarole Soup (Zuppa Di Scarola)

1 pound sweet Italian sausage, prosciutto ends, sopressato, or pepperoni 4 quarts chicken stock 6 garlic cloves, minced Freshly ground black pepper 1 pound dry white beans, washed and drained 2 heads escarole, roughly chopped 1-inch pieces, (up to 4 cups)

1/4 teaspoon oregano 3-4 leaves fresh basil A pinch of red pepper flakes 1 bay leaf Salt (optional) Freshly grated Romano cheese (optional)

Brown the sausage or meat in a large soup pot. Remove and slice into rounds or cubes and set aside. Add the stock, garlic and several grindings of pepper to the soup pot. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer, scraping all the browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Add the beans and herbs and cook covered for 30 minutes, then add the meat. Simmer on lowest heat until beans are tender. Add the escarole and cook until escarole is soft. Taste and adjust seasonings.

Serve with plenty of freshly grated Romano and garlic bread for dipping.

Page 6 CHALLENGE Summer 2010

What’s the Trouble with Bottled Water?

Learn more at GEM’s program on July 19th at 8 pm!

Find out how to protect your wallet and your health!

Spread the word! Get everyone “Back2Tap”!

On Monday, July 19th, at 8:00 pm, members of the Green Earth Ministry (GEM), an environment committee at Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, will present an informative, multi-media program entitled Back2Tap. Learn why we are trying to raise awareness about the wastefulness of bottled water, and why we need to reduce the use of disposable plastic bottles. Hear the story of a plastic water bottle — the life cycle of a disposable plastic water bottle — from start to finish.

Hike-Nic Lately, Anyone?

by Linda DeLap

Did you know that bottled water costs 2000 times as much as tap water, yet is less tightly regulated for purity? Many bottled water companies make unsubstantiated health or medical claims for bottled water and water treatment devices that are unchecked by the Food and Drug Administration and the Federal Trade Commission.

Plastic pollution is a world-wide problem. Plastic bottles take over 700 years to decompose, so the dead patch of plastic trash in the North Pacific Ocean will remain a deadly hazard to marine life for a long time. In 2007, Americans trashed 140 million disposable water bottles.

Lined up end to end, that’s enough water bottles each day to reach from New Jersey to China and back - roughly 15,000 miles of bottles.

The British Petroleum disaster in the Gulf of Mexico is another illustration of why we need to vastly curb our need for oil. Our addiction to the production of disposable plastic water bottles uses over 17 million barrels of oil per year - enough to fuel more than 1 million cars! Back2Tap Re-USE-Solutions reports there are 100 million disposable bottles thrown away in the trash every day in the USA. Each 17-ounce bottle of water takes 4 ounces of petroleum and 51 ounces of water to make and generates 120 grams of greenhouse gasses.

Most people we’ve met are completely unaware of any environmental problem associated with drinking bottled water; distrust tap water quality, but do trust bottled water quality; say they don’t like the taste of their tap water; and recycle their own bottles and think recycling works. There’s a lot of educating to do.

What can you do?

• • • •

•

Drink tap water instead of bottled water - filtered if you want.

Use reusable steel or glass bottles whenever you can.

Use large Thermos-type jugs or coolers and pitchers at events and parties.

Check whether the water cooler in your office provides water in a hard plastic (polycarbonate) container. Polycarbonate usually contains bisphenol A (also known as BPA), which was originally developed as a synthetic estrogen.

If you need to grab a disposable water bottle in a rush, don’t forget to recycle it! (continued in next column)

Well, folks, if you didn't go, you missed a good time at the May and June Hike-Nic events!

The purpose of Hike-Nics is to gather each month with folks from the LGBT community (and their friends and family) to share in hikes, walks, tours, and adventures and then afterwards enjoy a light meal together. Usually the meal is a picnic lunch, but not always. Often for the picnics attendees bring their own bagged or basket lunch. At times, a pot-luck type indoor meal or outdoor picnic will be hosted; if we are touring a site, we usually head to a local diner or restaurant for lunch.

The May Hike-Nic took place on May 22nd at Round Valley State Park in Lebanon. It was a huge success. 25 people joined in as we explored the park via a small hike and then shared a pot luck lunch. Ed & Dave provided the main course of chicken, hot dogs, and veggie burgers. Attendees supplied other refreshments, wonderful picnic side dishes, and various delicious desserts. We met lots of new folks, made new friends, and shared lots of laughs with some long-time friends as well.

June's event took place on June 20th. We toured the Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton. This is a 35-acre public sculpture park founded in 1992 to promote an understanding of and appreciation for contemporary sculpture for all people. Visitors to the park enjoyed the outdoor permanent collection as well as the indoor seasonal exhibitions.

After our touring we headed out for an early dinner at a local restaurant.

In July we are planning to visit the Raptor Trust in Millington, and then a hike around one of the local trails at the Great Swamp.

In August we will be tubing down the Delaware River where we will once again take the big plunge! This is a great way to cool off those dog days of summer.

In September we will head on over to Schooley’s Mountain County Park, nestled among the hills of western Morris County, for a hike followed by a picnic. This park offers visitors 797 acres of active and passive recreation facilities.

In October we plan to take a tour of Stickley Museum and Craftsman Farms at nearby Morris Plains. This local tourist spot holds a little treasure that too few have discovered.

Join us for an edutaining afternoon at the home and workshop of Gustav Stickley, a leader of the Arts and Crafts design movement.

Those of you who are interested in joining Hike-Nic events should contact Ed at sche357 @ aol.com. Invitations with further details of each event are emailed each month to those wishing to be on the mailing list.

Summer 2010 CHALLENGE Page 7

July/August 2010 Calendar Recurring Contact Information

*Hackensack Peer Support †Pride Center, Highland

Groups: 800-508-7577; njbuddies @ aol.com Park: 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org ‡Hudson County Peer Support Groups: 201-963-4779; HCP @ HudsonPride.org λLGBT Center Rainbow Lounge, Princeton: www.princeton.edu/lgbt ♦Jersey Shore Q-Spot, Asbury Park: www.jsqspot.org Monday – Friday 9:00 am to 1:00 pm - HIV testing, Asbury Park; 800-947-0020 9:00 am to 11:00 am - The Daily Grind coffeehouse, Princetonλ (suspended until September) Every Monday 7:00 pm - GAAMC, Morristown (see page 2) 10:00 am - "Generation Q", WRSU 88.7 FM; wrsu.org 10:30 am - The Wellness Community, Newark; 973-565-0300; info @ hyacinth.org 2:00 pm - Sex in the Center, Princetonλ (suspended until September) 7:00 pm - Bowling, Union; merenl @ comcast.net 7:30 pm - S.E.L.F. HIV Men’s support group, Hackensack* 7:30 pm - New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus choir practice, Princeton; 609-396-7774; www.njgmc.org 7:30 pm - Overeaters Anonymous, Pride Center† 7:30 pm - RainboWomen, Pride Center† 8:00 pm - Bowling, Green Brook; 732-388-3548; qcrollers @ aol.com Every Tuesday 12:30 pm - The Wellness Community, Newark; 973-565-0300; info @ hyacinth.org 1:00 pm - HIV Support Group, Hackensack* 4:00 pm - Treatment Adherence Support Group, Jersey City; 201-432-1134; info @ hyacinth.org 6:00 pm - GLITZ, Jersey City‡ 6:30 pm - Fresh Start HIV Trans support group, Jersey City‡ 7:30 pm - Tuesday Night Lesbian Connection, Bound Brook; 908-791-3764 7:30 pm - Men’s HIV support group, Asbury Park; 732-7755084; apstillpoz @ yahoo.com 8:45 pm - Bowling, Belleville; 973-256-5936; NJGLB @ aol.com 9:00 pm - Bowling, Jersey City; 201-933-6028; JoeyNJ @ aol.com July 2010 02 Fri 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack* 7:00 pm - Under the Rainbow, Pride Center† 7:00 pm - Karaoke Party, Pride Center† 8:30 pm - Time for Me, Pride Center† 03 Sat 2:30 pm - HiTOPS 1st & 3rd for GLBTI Youth, Princeton; 609683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 04 Sun 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-857-4040; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 6:30 pm - Gay Men’s Opera Club; 732-249-9034; hagol @ msn.com 05 Mon 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero AT umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦

9:15 pm - Bowling, Edison; 732-548-4550; cnjgbl @ yahoo.com Every Wednesday 10:30 am - The Wellness Community, Jersey City; 201-4321134; info @ hyacinth.org 6:00 pm - Positive People peer support group, Hackensack* 7:30 pm - Men’s Living Out group, Pride Center; njwarrior @ aol.com† 7:30 pm - Gay Men’s Coming Out group, Pride Center; njwarrior @ aol.com† Every Thursday 6:00 pm - Pride Thursdays, Hard Grove Cafe Bar, Jersey City; jclgo.org 6:00 pm - Our Youth weekly support group, Jersey City; www.myspace.com/our_youth 6:30 pm - Double Jeopardy peer support group, Hackensack* 6:30 pm - Living Beyond HIV Men's peer support groups, Jersey City‡ 7:30 pm - Rainbows on Cleveland Street, Orange; 973-2565936; rbowsoncleveland @ aol.com 7:30 pm - Writers Group, Pride Center† Every Friday 3:00 pm - Tea at Three, Princetonλ (suspended until September) 3:30 pm - Youth Connect, Jersey City‡ Every Saturday 3:30 pm - Youth Connect, Jersey City‡ Every Sunday 10:30 am - MCC of Christ the Liberator, North Brunswick; 732846-8227; mccliberator @ excite.com 2:30 pm - Liberation in Truth Unity Fellowship Church, Newark; 973-621-2100 06 Tue 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, New Brunswick; www.gpbn.net 7:00 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Pride Center† 7:00 pm - Quesdays, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦ 7:30 pm - LGBT Fellowship, Belleville; 973-751-0616 7:30 pm - PCNJ Board of Trustees meeting, Pride Center† 07 Wed 7:00 pm - North Jersey Prime Timers' monthly meetup, Little Falls; www.meetup.com/North-Jersey-Primetimers 7:30 pm - Gay Dad's Coming Out/Support Group, Pride Center† 08 Thu 7:00 pm - jsQspot Book Q-LUB, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦ 7:00 pm - JCLGO monthly meeting, Jersey City; www.jclgo.org 7:30 pm - Alternate Thursdays, Montclair; kjdinkin @ comcast.net 09 Fri 7:30 pm - NJ LGBT Cancer Support Group, Pride Center†

Page 8 CHALLENGE Summer 2010 10 Sat 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Pride Center† 7:00 pm - Movie Social, Pride Center† 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick gay Catholic liturgy; 732968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 11 Sun 1:30 pm - PFLAG Northern New Jersey, South Orange; 973267-8414; www.pflagnorthjersey.org 4:00 pm - Chillfest film festival, Jersey City; www.myspace.com/chillfestjerseycity (suspended until September) 6:00 pm - Gay Men’s Classical Song Club, Kingston; pbrown02 @ worldnet.att.net 12 Mon 7:00 pm - Youth Initiative Teenager's Meetings, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦ 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Morris County, Mendham; 973-543-7229; craig.bcc @ verizon.net 7:30 pm - PFLAG, Princeton; 609-663-5155; www.pflagprinceton.org

8:00 pm - Asbury Park Road Trip: The Who's Tommy, Carousel Theatre; revisiontheatre.tix.com 11:00 pm - Asbury Park Road Trip: Blackout party, Swell Dance Club; www.sandblastonline.com 18 Sun 11:00 am - Asbury Park Road Trip: Rip Tide pool party, Berkeley Oceanfront Hotel; www.sandblastonline.com 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-837-4040; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 4:00 pm - TrueSelves trans support group, Pride Center† 19 Mon 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero @ umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦

13 Tue 3:00 pm - Health Center Drop-In, Princetonλ (suspended until September) 8:00 pm - Lesbians and Gay Men of New Brunswick, Pride Center†

20 Tue 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, New Brunswick; www.gpbn.net 7:00 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Pride Center† 7:30 pm - Lesbian Alliance of Princeton; 609-924-8174; Loisj @ msn.com 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Hunterdon County; 908-812-1558; pflaghc @ yahoo.com 8:00 pm - PFLAG Bergen County; 201-287-0318; www.pflag-bergennj.org 8:00 pm - NJ Women, Secaucus; info @ njwomen.org

14 Wed 7:30 pm - TGLCA monthly meeting, Trenton; 609-396-9788; tglca @ aol.com 9:00 pm - Dine with Pride, Metuchen ; jennifer.horsey @ cit.com

21 Wed 7:30 pm - United in Grace discussion/support group, Jersey City; 201-946-0650; greg.perez @ comcast.net 8:00 pm - Capital Rainbowfest planning meeting, Trenton; capitalr @ capitalrainbowfest.org

15 Thu 7:00 pm - GAAMC board meeting, Morristown; all GAAMC members are invited to attend.

7:30 pm - NJ Women Coming Out Support Group, Pride Center† 8:00 pm - Asbury Park Road Trip: Maggie Cassella and Betty, Stone Pony; www.stoneponyonline.com

23 Fri 7:30 pm - Release from the Closet, Pride Center† 7:30 pm - Crocheting for a Cause, Pride Center†

16 Fri 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack* 7:00 pm - NJ Furries Art Workshop, Pride Center† 7:00 pm - Asbury Park Road Trip: Lost at Sea kickoff party, Convention Hall; www.sandblastonline.com 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick social; 732-968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 8:00 pm - Out of the Box open mic night, The Cave, 19-21 Second Avenue, Highland Park (sign-up begins 7:30) 9:30 pm - Asbury Park Road Trip: Runway Fashion Show, Convention Hall; www.sandblastonline.com 11:00 pm - Asbury Park Road Trip: Shipwrecked after-party, Watermark Lounge; www.sandblastonline.com 17 Sat All Day - Asbury Park Road Trip: Day on the Beach, Fifth Avenue Beach; www.sandblastonline.com 10:00 am - Asbury Park Road Trip: Yoga on the Beach, Fifth Avenue Beach; www.sandblastonline.com 10:00 am - Asbury Park Road Trip: Ironman Dodgeball 2010, Fourth Avenue Beach; www.sandblastonline.com Noon - Asbury Park Road Trip: Sand Blast beach party, Fifth Avenue Beach; www.sandblastonline.com 1:00 pm - Asbury Park Road Trip: Crush, the new girls' party, Paramount Theatre Balcony; www.sandblastonline.com 2:30 pm - HiTOPS 1st & 3rd for GLBTI Youth, Princeton; 609683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 7:00 pm - Rainbow Bowling, Bradley Beach; 732-774-4540 7:00 pm - NJ Gay Film Society & Potluck Dinner Club, location TBA; gayfilms @ bigfoot.com

24 Sat 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Pride Center† 2:00 pm - Strategy Games Group, Edison; www.pridecenter.org 2:00 pm - Youth Support Group, Pride Center† 7:00 pm - Gay Bowling, Asbury Lanes, Asbury Park; 732-776-6160 7:00 pm - Games Night & Dessert, Pride Center† 25 Sun 1:00 pm - Rainbow Book Group Discussion, Jersey City; www.jclgo.org 26 Mon 7:00 pm - Funny Bingo, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦ 8:30 pm - Meditation Group, Pride Center† 27 Tue 8:00 pm - Lesbians and Gay Men of New Brunswick, Pride Center† 28 Wed 6:00 pm - Queering the Color Line Family Dinner, Princetonλ (suspended until September) 29 Thu 7:00 pm - Gay Men's Hot Topics, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦

Summer 2010 CHALLENGE Page 9 August 2010 01 Sun 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-857-4040; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 6:30 pm - Gay Men’s Opera Club; 732-249-9034; hagol @ msn.com 02 Mon 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero AT umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦ 03 Tue 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, New Brunswick; www.gpbn.net 7:00 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Pride Center† 7:00 pm - Quesdays, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦ 7:30 pm - LGBT Fellowship, Belleville; 973-751-0616 7:30 pm - PCNJ Board of Trustees meeting, Pride Center† 04 Wed 7:00 pm - North Jersey Prime Timers' monthly meetup, Little Falls; www.meetup.com/North-Jersey-Primetimers 7:30 pm - Gay Dad's Coming Out/Support Group, Pride Center† 06 Fri 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack* 7:00 pm - Under the Rainbow, Pride Center† 7:00 pm - Karaoke Party, Pride Center† 8:30 pm - Time for Me, Pride Center† 07 Sat 2:30 pm - HiTOPS 1st & 3rd for GLBTI Youth, Princeton; 609683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 7:00 pm - Women's Coffeehouse, Pride Center† 08 Sun 1:30 pm - PFLAG Northern New Jersey, South Orange; 973267-8414; www.pflagnorthjersey.org 4:00 pm - Chillfest film festival, Jersey City; www.myspace.com/chillfestjerseycity (suspended until September) 6:00 pm - Gay Men’s Classical Song Club, Kingston; pbrown02 @ worldnet.att.net 09 Mon 7:00 pm - Youth Initiative Teenager's Meetings, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦ 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Morris County, Mendham; 973-543-7229; craig.bcc @ verizon.net 7:30 pm - PFLAG, Princeton; 609-663-5155; www.pflagprinceton.org 10 Tue 3:00 pm - Health Center Drop-In, Princetonλ (suspended until September) 8:00 pm - Lesbians and Gay Men of New Brunswick, Pride Center† 11 Wed 7:30 pm - TGLCA monthly meeting, Trenton; 609-396-9788; tglca @ aol.com 9:00 pm - Dine with Pride, Metuchen ; jennifer.horsey @ cit.com 12 Thu 7:00 pm - jsQspot Book Q-LUB, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦ 7:00 pm - JCLGO monthly meeting, Jersey City; www.jclgo.org 7:30 pm - Alternate Thursdays, Montclair; kjdinkin @ comcast.net

13 Fri 7:30 pm - NJ LGBT Cancer Support Group, Pride Center† 14 Sat 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Pride Center† 7:00 pm - Movie Social, Pride Center† 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick gay Catholic liturgy; 732968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 15 Sun 4:00 pm - Dignity Metro NJ Mass, Maplewood; 973-837-4040; Dignitymetronj @ msn.com 4:00 pm - TrueSelves trans support group, Pride Center† 16 Mon 7:00 pm - Support Group for Lesbians with Cancer, New Brunswick; 732-235-6781; slirzero @ umdnj.edu 7:00 pm - Lesbian Hot Topics, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦ 17 Tue 6:00 pm - Gay Pride Business Network, New Brunswick; www.gpbn.net 7:00 pm - ComeOUT & Play, Pride Center† 7:30 pm - Lesbian Alliance of Princeton; 609-924-8174; Loisj @ msn.com 7:30 pm - PFLAG of Hunterdon County; 908-812-1558; pflaghc @ yahoo.com 8:00 pm - PFLAG Bergen County; 201-287-0318; www.pflag-bergennj.org 8:00 pm - NJ Women, Secaucus; info @ njwomen.org 18 Wed 7:30 pm - United in Grace discussion/support group, Jersey City; 201-946-0650; greg.perez @ comcast.net 8:00 pm - Capital Rainbowfest planning meeting, Trenton; capitalr @ capitalrainbowfest.org 19 Thu 7:00 pm - GAAMC board meeting, Morristown; all GAAMC members are invited to attend.

7:30 pm - NJ Women Coming Out Support Group, Pride Center† 20 Fri 7:00 pm - Positive Women peer support group, Hackensack* 7:00 pm - NJ Furries Art Workshop, Pride Center† 7:30 pm - Dignity New Brunswick social; 732-968-9263; dignitynb @ earthlink.net 8:00 pm - Out of the Box open mic night, The Cave, 19-21 Second Avenue, Highland Park (sign-up begins 7:30) 21 Sat 2:30 pm - HiTOPS 1st & 3rd for GLBTI Youth, Princeton; 609683-5155; www.HiTOPS.org 7:00 pm - Rainbow Bowling, Bradley Beach; 732-774-4540 7:00 pm - NJ Gay Film Society & Potluck Dinner Club, location TBA; gayfilms @ bigfoot.com 24 Tue 8:00 pm - Lesbians and Gay Men of New Brunswick, Pride Center† 25 Wed 6:00 pm - Queering the Color Line Family Dinner, Princetonλ (suspended until September) 26 Thu 7:00 pm - Gay Men's Hot Topics, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦ 27 Fri 7:30 pm - Release from the Closet, Pride Center† 7:30 pm - Crocheting for a Cause, Pride Center†

Page 10 CHALLENGE Summer 2010 28 Sat Noon - JCLGO LGBT Pride Festival, Jersey City; www.jclgo.org 1:00 pm - Youth Drop-In, Pride Center† 2:00 pm - Strategy Games Group, Edison; www.pridecenter.org 2:00 pm - Youth Support Group, Pride Center†

7:00 pm - Gay Bowling, Asbury Lanes, Asbury Park; 732-776-6160 7:00 pm - Games Night & Dessert, Pride Center† 30 Mon 7:00 pm - Funny Bingo, Jersey Shore Q-Spot♦ 8:30 pm - Meditation Group, Pride Center†

A Brief GLBT History of New Jersey

by Mickey Suiter

For this year's Pride Festival in Asbury Park, GAAMC partnered with the New Jersey Lesbian & Gay Coalition to present a historical timeline of major events in the GLBT history of New Jersey. The exhibition highlighted a timeline of these events, as chosen by GAAMC's Archives Committee. The events that appeared in the timeline were: 1968 - New Jersey State Supreme Court legalizes gay bars June 1969 - Stonewall Riots in New York City December 1969 - Rutgers Student Homophile League (now BiGLARU) is founded September 1971 - Gay Activists Alliance in New Jersey (GAANJ) is founded October 1971 - New Jersey Gay Coalition (now NJLGC) is founded September 1972 - GAAMC is founded 1976 to 1978 - Repeal of New Jersey's sodomy law 1984 - Campaign to End Discrimination, created to amend the Law Against Discrimination, is formed by NJLGC and ACLU 1985 - NJ Buddies is founded 1985 - Hyacinth Foundation is founded January 1992 - Law Against Discrimination is amended to include protection for affectional or sexual orientation June 1992 - Jersey Pride Inc. is founded; the first Pride Celebration is held in Asbury Park 1994 - Pride Center of New Jersey opens 1995 - Trenton Gay and Lesbian Civic Association is founded 1997 - Division of Youth and Family Services allows joint adoption by gay couples 2001 - JCLGO is founded; the first Jersey City Pride Festival is held January 2004 - Domestic partnership law is passed 2004 - Garden State Equality is founded 2006 - New Jersey State Supreme Court rules for equal rights for same-sex and opposite-sex couples; Civil Union law is passed 2006 - Gender identity protection is added to the Law Against Discrimination January 2010 - Marriage equality bill fails in the state Senate

Summer 2010 CHALLENGE Page 11

Doing the 25th Anniversary AIDS Walkathon

by Paul Greenberg

16th,

KEVIN P. SUSZKO, PC 17th

On Sunday, May 2010 I participated in my AIDS Walkathon. It was a very nice day for a walk in Central Park. It took me 2 hours and 40 minutes to complete the 6.2 mile walk. For statistical purposes, it took me 25,150 steps to walk the walk from start to finish. I was in the best of health because I prepared ahead of time, going to the gym and walking outside.

This year, 45,000 walkers raised $5.7 million. I managed to raise $4,000, mainly with the help of family, friends, and GAAMC family. I also managed to have some people get matching gift funds from Macy's. My friend Donna, who's done the walk with me for the last eight years, joined me this year and managed to raise over $500.

The walk was along a new route - a nice change of pace.

This year, more of the walk was done in Central Park; in the past most of the route would be outside of Central Park before coming back into the park to complete the course. It was good to see other people using the park on this sunny day.

I was part of the Starwalkers, those who raise over $1,000 or more in donations. I also signed up with Hyacinth AIDS Foundation in New Brunswick. I was in contact with, and got help for fundraising ideas from, its director, Patrick Bocco.

Overall it was a very rewarding experience being able to take part in my 17th AIDS Walkathon. Once a person takes part in the Walkathon they feel better about themselves because they are giving back to other people in the New York/New Jersey area who need help.

It is an exciting experience being able to sign up for the Walkathon. It feels nice, sending out my donation letter to family and friends, having a goal for donations, and seeing how much money I can raise.

I look forward to next year and I hope I can get some of the GAAMC family members to join me in the 26th annual AIDS Walkathon!

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Valentine for Adrianna

by Tony Puma

If we were straight/ what a couple/ we would be.

We would say things/ to each other like/ ‘grow old with me’.

But you heed Sappho’s call/ and I the young male ball.

You are my sister and/ hope that you resist the/ impulse to hate my whim/ as I kiss you as kin.

We will be friends in poetry/ exchange our verse as pleasantries.

To be and see/to feel and hear/ emotions rampant/ in our own sphere.

As I end this ‘Hallmark’ rhyme/ and reflect on hurts in my time.

I wish to you less-hurt/ that life will send your way.

So as your Platonic friend: Happy Valentines Day. Puma/MMX © 2010 Tony Puma ‘Voices in my head, verses to be read’.

Page 12 CHALLENGE Summer 2010

Coming Out

by Joel Wechsler Coming out as a gay male in America.

Coming out as a professional person (professor and drama therapist) who suffered from severe clinical depression for many years.

Coming out as somebody "different", somebody who didn't follow the "norm", whatever that is.

Coming out as a need to be authentic, to be truthful about who I am.

Coming out as a process, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Coming out as growth. It's about time to declare myself!

Coming out slowly (I have) or all at once (some do).

Actually, it has been a process that began when I was very young, perhaps 5 years old. Being able to finally say - to sing like Albin, the drag queen in La Cage aux Folles, ripping off his wig, belting out at the end of act one - "I am who I am and I don't give a damn," as he walks into the audience and out of the door, slamming it behind him (talk about assertiveness!), and the audience - both straight and gay - going wild with applause!

Albin is definitely a role model, not only for a gay person but for any person who is trying to be himself or herself.

I don't sing except in the shower, in the car, and at the UU Congregation; I Tony Award winner George Hearn don't wear a wig - although as Albin I did at one time (another story); and I did it differently - "I did it my way." My story, as everybody's story, is different from Albin's in La Cage. Like any story, like any growth process, it's complicated!

When I was four or five years old, I think the process started, although it might have started before (out of the womb?). I remember vividly: it was summer, and I was lying on a beach blanket in Rockaway, New York. Many people of all ages were whooping it up at the beach, as "normal" people do. I wasn't. I was lying rigid on the blanket waiting, terrifyingly waiting, for my hairy, somewhat muscular forty-two-year-old father to laughingly swoop me up off the blanket and take me with him into the cool waters of the Atlantic Ocean for a swim and fun.

It wasn't fun at all; as a matter of fact, I was terrified. I was kicking and screaming, thinking I might drown! I was, in other words, scared shitless! Scared of this man and his "fatherly" ways. I was scared of being with him,

this brute, or whooping it up with him as I suppose other "normal" little boys were doing with their dads.

I didn't drown, obviously. He, laughing, I'm sure disappointed, wondering maybe "who is this son of mine, this scaredy cat, this mama's boy?" (He's dead now; I'll never know if he was thinking all that.) In any case, he brought me back to the blanket, back to safety, back to my mother; and for a while, anyway, I felt relieved, felt relatively safe that he wouldn't do it again, at least not today! So what did I feel? What was I thinking? Ashamed; a failure; a sense of rejection on both sides. I couldn't live up to his expectations of me, couldn't be the boy I thought he wanted. I don't know. I wasn't conscious of all these feelings and thoughts then. I didn't know what all this meant. All I knew was that I was temporarily safe, out of the hands of the big, bad, hairy wolf!

As I said, I can't discuss any of this with him now; he's been dead for over 30 years. I can discuss all this with my therapist, and I do. And although it will always ultimately be a puzzle, it helps to discuss it with him because he "gets it".

I'd love to be able to know once and for all what he was feeling. A good friend of 40 years suggested to me that maybe my father was doing his action of taking me in the ocean out of love, trying to initiate me into "normal" boyhood/manhood. That's an interesting alternative to my belief, but who knows? In any case this "ritual" is very much with me. This scene, although it happened many years ago, feels on some level as if it happened yesterday.

Another scenario, also summer, also on the beach. I'm seven or eight years old, and my cousin and I are having fun throwing a ball to each other. And my father and his father, these two macho men, are laughing at us, jeering at us, because they thought we were throwing the ball like girls. Today, many years later, I believe that many young dads, as ours were then, either accept their sons throwing a ball like a girl (whatever that means) or attempt to teach their sons the "right" way to throw a ball. I hope that more young dads are sensitive to the way their sons are throwing a ball, although I realize many dads today are just as insensitive as our dads were in those days long ago. These sensitive, secure-in-their-own-image dads love and accept their boys for who they are. I have witnessed it many times, and that's what I see and what I feel in my gut.

But with our dads sixty-five years ago, it was different between fathers and sons. I was who I was; he was who he was. I wish it were different. Should I hold it against him, want somebody or something else, or just let it go at that? That was the reality; what's the use of dreaming of a different, more satisfying relationship? Isn't that the healthy thing to do? I think it is, but I'm not sure. It's nice to fantasize, to dream.

Summer 2010 CHALLENGE Page 13

Dancing to Architecture™

Music reviews & news with Queer ears

by Bill Realman Stella What musicians do matters.

Art doesn't occur in a vacuum. Artists don't create in a vacuum. What makes musicians interesting to me doesn't stop at the edge of the concert stage or the end of the recording.

This column's title comes from "Writing about music is like Dancing To Architecture" — but I don't mean it in the dismissive way some people have of interpreting that quote. Magic made real is what it is. The only real magic in the world is found in perceptual transformation, be it simply understanding a metaphor or the (sometimes not-so-) simple revolutionary act of changing one's mind. Dancing To Architecture is nothing less than writing directions to lead readers to open doors to new places to discover by listening to music.

Like roadsigns are on roads, I try to add a little context into every review, give a sense that something more is going on here than just notes to hear, something richer than entertaining sounds. Let's launch into it.

I first heard The Klezmatics play live many years ago now at an

20 new songs including originals plus parodies of Katy Perry ("I Kissed a Gull") — Hillarious!, Beyonce ("All Boy Singer Ladies"), Britney Spears ("Fertilizer"), Michael Jackson ("Dead"), ABBA ("Gonorrhea"), Simon & Garfunkel ("Necrophilia") and Free With Every Purchase! "Secret Kinsey Sicks Decoder Glasses that reveal secret images and uncultured pearls of wisdom hidden throughout the booklet." (I've fiddled with my software's image settings to add a hint of what the glasses reveal to the album cover, pictured below.)

As the press release requests, I'm doing my part to "forward this to your friends with discretionary income and bad taste." It adds: "And if that's not enough … the CD comes with a booklet filled with lyrics, photos, fun graphics, and commentaries from the gals as well as the guise behind them. To hear samples from what is undoubtedly one of the seven best dragapella albums of all time," seek out their YouTube channel, youtube.com/user/kinseysicks.

It's an album that's probably not at your local brick and mortar s t o r e . To o r d e r : k i n s e y s i c k s . c o m / i t e m _ e a c h h i t . h t m ksicks@aol.com, 415-882-1142. The Kinsey Sicks, PMB 387, 584 Castro Street, San Francisco, CA 94114. facebook.com/kinseysicks

Bettye LaVette ~ Interpretations: The British Rock Songbook

The Klezmatics

NYC Pride Rally. Since then they've put music to an entire album's worth of long-buried Woody Guthrie lyrics, won a Grammy, and become an ever-more-solid performing unit.

Rutgers University's Mason Gross School of the Arts hosts them for a free concert Wednesday, July 21, 8pm, Nicholas Music Center, 85 George Street in New Brunswick. This event is free of charge. No tickets are required. For more info: 732-9327511; masongross.rutgers.edu/mgpresents/index.html From the press release: "The Klezmatics, renowned world-music superstars, stand as the only Grammy-Award-winning klezmer band. They emerged from the vibrant cultural scene of New York City's East Village in 1986 playing music steeped in Eastern European Jewish tradition and spirituality. They also incorporated contemporary themes such as human rights and anti-fundamentalism, as well as Arab, African, Latin, Balkan rhythms, with hints of jazz and punk."

What's not to love?

Hope to see y'all there.

The Kinsey Sicks ~ Each Hit & I

Last year's headliners at Jersey Pride in Asbury Park, The Kinsey Sicks, are on the verge of releasing their seventh album of originals, the enigmatically titled Each Hit & I. (You may be a better punster than I, but if not, give it time — decoding the title took over 4 hours before the light dawned.) It features an extraordinary

In choosing the songs for Interpretations: The British Rock Songbook, Bettye LaVette had impeccable taste. She listened to over 500 songs, selected by her husband from the vast catalogs of 60s and 70s British hitmakers. The project was inspired by the opportunity LaVette had at the 2008 Kennedy Center Honors, when her performance of "Love Reign O'er Me" for honorees Pete Townsend and Roger Daltrey brought down the house. These 13 songs — including "Love Reign O'er Me" as a bonus track — are all incredibly in need of being heard in new settings. The Rolling Stones' "Salt of the Earth" (the lyrics get updated too), tracks from Led Zeppelin, The Animals, Moody Blues, and Pink Floyd are reinterpreted, as are two

by Elton John and two by George Harrison, including "It Don't Come Easy" (given to Ringo Starr).

The one misgiving I have is with the choice to give a serious tone and slower tempo to most tracks. Even Harrison's "Isn't It A Pity" is slower than the already slow original. The exceptions are noteworthy. Leading off with a churning version of "The Word," a rarely rerecorded gem from the Lennon/McCartney songbook and precedent to "All You Need Is Love," is a brilliant move. "Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad" is a rave-up with gutbucket flair. But instead of the downtempo takes here, I can't help but wonder what might have been. On "Nights In White Satin" might LaVette have made a sizzling and soulful version work? Passionate and simmering is the arrangement we get. "Maybe I'm Amazed" is largely restrained — perhaps it calls for a bit more a m a z em e n t ?

L a Ve t t e ' s vocals bring an astonishing range of p e r s p e ctives to this fine set of songs. But I'm left wishing they were supported by a few more hot rhythm sections, and fewer strings.

Page 14 CHALLENGE Summer 2010 Good Thing, a thing that is rare, more difficult to It's a fine new aldo than it at bum from the band first glance River City Extension, Jeremy Henry won an amazing award - Grand Prize for Best Remix would seem originally from Toms to be. All eleRiver, NJ. (Yup, Toms ments come River!) together perThis is the band fectly on with an energy and " Ta k e Y o u cohesion of eleA w a y, " a ments so rare I have tastefully to reach back to the weird balance David Bromberg of pretty and Band for compariobsessive, not son. Yet they don't unlike "Every sound like the DBB Henry transformed Laurie Anderson's "Only An Expert" (from her new B r e a t h Yo u — sounding like youralbum Homeland). In a recent column I yelled in 22 pt font about how Take." In truth self is always the amazing his 2006 "Selfish Song" is, and (in normal font) how original t h e e n t i r e best thing to do. his sound engineering style is. Now take a look above this box at the song is sweet, Paste Magazine paragraph that starts with "Congratulations". Not only did he win great unfortunately comprizes, but Laurie Anderson & Lou Reed enjoyed his remix! How cool but not sacis that? His success is a confirmation of his abilities and his years of charine, not pares River City working without much recognition from the mainstream. I gotta say, it infantile, and Extension with also feels like a vindication of my ears, of the talent I heard more than o n l y a t a d bands that have four years ago. Congratulations, Jeremy. I'm forever proud of you. nostalgic. It's problems these guys a song made don't. (I find the allegedly comparable bands difficult to listen to for candlelight, or to pop into the car stereo on the way home from because they' often play out of tune, too often sing off-pitch and prison after getting out on bail — a fine balancing act, accomplished well. don't seem half as original as what they're often credited with.

With lyrics that are wide open to interpretation, their track getting (Perhaps that's because I'm 50, and they're writing for 20 year olds all the attention is "And The Boys". Just let it wash over you. The who've never heard of bands like, say, the David Bromberg Band?) impressionistic video is at youtube.com/watch?v=RUDc1frz22E . If, Every one of the first seven tracks are winners. (A slight misstep while watching, you happen to feel the urge rise in you to dance around occurs at track 8 when they veer into Jimmy Buffett territory, in circles, I say go for it. filled with dreaming-of-escape cliches, But the Their website, AngusAndJuliaStone.com, feaband could well pocket a decent royalty from Etheridge offers to be your tures lots of playful animated stuff to enjoy, licensing the song to commercials.) It takes two more decent tracks, "I'm Too Tired To Drink" and Tour Guide to the Bright Side triggered by your roving cursor.

"Holy Cross", fun crowd-pleasers we'd all love to Melissa Etheridge~ Fearless Love boozily shout along with, before RCE regain the sure-footed confi"Etheridge doesn't need my help," I said to dence of the first half of the album with the heart on its sleeve myself. "She's a great musician, bandleader, ballad "Today, I Feel Like I'm Evolvin'". From there on in it's smooth and songwriter. She consistently gives her fans sailing, eagerly anticipating the places they're going and the people music from the heart. And her fans are legion." they plan to spend the future with, or whatever comes next. And Then I watched the chart action on Fearless Love: that's a beautiful way to end an album.

Debuts at #7. Not shabby, not for an artist the curOhh, and to any of you who think I appear to favor the odd and rent generation doesn't identify with. Then to #20. obscure over... whatever you call everything else... because, I Next week, #40. Thereafter: #52. #76. #103. The dunno, I write about musicians you've never heard of or reference newest chart, released just before sending this older musicians only a few souls other than their dedicated fans column to print: #135. remember: This music is eminently accessiHuh. ble. It deserves your attention. Take a listen. myspace.com/rivercityextension. Oh, 'n', Perhaps the thing I like best about the Seven weeks and, in my estimation, based on what Jersey Rocks! (yeh… couldn't restrain mymusic I like most is when I hear I've read most Top 10 alself…) a performance that bums in recent years sell in a week and what defies my expectations. lower rungs sell, Fearless Love may not sell Angus & Julia Stone ~ Down The Way much more than 100,000 copies. About one-fifth On their latest album Down The Way, the to one-quarter of the way to Gold. Another indication that my fuckedStones look to break out of the Indie bush leagues into the indeup generation doesn't buy music like it once did. Sheesh. pendent musician bigs. Julia Stone tends to use her sweetestI feel a Saturday Night Live "Weekend Update"-style "Really??" is in sounding voice. Typically, that spells trouble, but perhaps the thing I order. Granted, the title track is excessively pithy, and that's the song like best about the music I like most is when I hear a performance initially pushed to promote the album. A further examination of Billthat defies board's charts show the song hovering around #25 on the Adult Conmy expectatemporary charts, indicating that it's getting decent airplay. Billboard tions. Her says the song's video even hit #1 on the "AOL Videos" chart (Say voice evokes what?), but it's not translating into sales. After seven weeks doesn't the knee-jerk anyone in what's left of radio and promotions want to draw attention to thought "She other tracks? What about "Nervous"? I want Etheridge to be singing "You has a baby make me Nervous" to me, too! doll voice," What about "Heaven On Earth"? Packed to the brim with resurgent but somehow confidence, Etheridge offers to be your Tour Guide to the Bright Side: she avoids "They fed me fear and violence / They hooked me up to this reality the cloying // Now I'm not cursing anyone / They only did what they had done to quality usuthem // "When you are at the end of your rope / Come find me / ally associHolding on to your last string of hope / Come find me // Open up ated with your eyes / I'll show you what your worth / Don't you know it's you that sound. and me / In this heaven on earth // "Don't you know that you are This is A golden / Don't you know that you are pure delight baby / It doesn't Good Thing, matter what they painted on you / You can wash it all away tonight" n o , A Ve r y

River City Extension ~ Unmistakable Man

Summer 2010 CHALLENGE Page 15 Lyrics like those aren't meant to be kept in semi-obscurity. Put some substance on the bones of your summer music playlist, and pick up "Fearless Love" soon. It's an album that you underestimate at your own peril.

Treme ~ Season One

MAGNIFICENT. I have loved watching Treme from start to finish.

This edition of DTA wraps mere hours after the Treme season finale ends. As a viewer from beginning to end, I do believe I've witnessed one of the great filmed works of our time. No hype. No bull.

I don't think I've ever experienced more great music in any other 11 hours of screen time — and the music, while plentiful, came onscreen in tasty samples, doled out generously like bits of lagniappe. It was packed full of performances, with room for everyone from Steve Earle and his son Justin Townes Earle (!) to Kermit Ruffins and Dumpstaphunk to the Rebirth Brass Band to blow. Not to slight the story — there were characters aplenty. To mention just two of the great actors: If Khandi Alexander and New Jersey native Clarke Peters aren't nominated for Emmys for their pivotal roles, a confession of mortal sins is in order. Watching Treme was like being blessed by brilliance for an hour every Sunday night, as if soul AND music just dropped by for a spell, with Ivan Neville and Dr John in tow, and national treasures Irma Thomas and Allen Toussaint show up late at night. More than even that, sprinkled lovingly throughout were examples of over 50 years of New Orleans recorded history, one gem after another set in this ode of love to the city that will never drown.

In seriousness, I can't recall when last I was so wrapped up in a story that several times an episode I had to check in and prevent myself from taking it all in as unvarnished truth. So many real places and real people were included that I'm having a very hard time separating fiction from reality. I guess truth would be stranger… but Treme's truth had that kind of beauty too.

It relieves and pleases me to end writing this column by learning something I hadn't heard: that Treme has already been renewed for a second season. Reportedly most of it is already filmed. I can't wait.

Season 1 of Treme arrives on DVD in August.

More great new Recommended Listening for the weeks ahead.

Give me a holler at facebook.com/billstella and remind me to post reviews of this music there in the weeks ahead.

Gogol Bordello ~ Trans-Continental Hustle

Month after month I exhort you readers to remember music you won't find in the mainstream. When it comes to Gogol Bordello, I should take my own advice. These Gypsy Punks have added Brazillian influences (!) and come to Starland Ballroom in Sayreville July 31.

Macy Gray ~ The Sellout

I'm loving "Beauty In The World," which you may have heard in the final moments of the "Ugly Betty" series finale.

Cyndi Lauper~ Memphis Blues

An R&B and New Orleans Sound influenced album. She'll be at the Mayo Center in Morristown, Friday June 25, and at the Bergen Performing Arts Center in Englewood, Sun June 27.

Tris McCall ~ Let The Night Fall

Great songwriter's latest. His song "Dancing To Architecture" inspired the name of this column. Now music reviews of his can be found in The Star-Ledger. (He writes better than I can say.) connect.nj.com/user/tmccall/index.html

Pariah Piranha ~ People People

Queer punks with growl and spit. (HOT!) (The music, I mean.) On Queer Control records. pariahpiranha.com

Passion Pit ~ Manners

Live in concert June 27 in Philadelphia at the Mann Center; June 29 in Brooklyn at Prospect Park Bandshell; June 30 at Governor’s Island

Sia ~ We Are Born

The magnificent voice on Zero 7's hits has displayed a unique imagination in her solo albums, a talent that continues to shine here.

Soulkiss (again)

Check out the video of Soulkiss, Live @ The Duplex, August 22, 2009. youtube.com/watch?v=diYbocZsPkM Tim Dillinger sings Teena Marie's "Out on a Limb," and he was having an out-of-body experience, it seems, to pull off what you can hear happening. The only downside is it's not proquality video, so some distortion comes into play; compensate for it, and you too may be staggered by some great singing.

I'd very much appreciate getting some feedback from my readership about Soulkiss — or about anything to do with the column. I'm on Facebook, and my email is on page 3 of this issue.

Reminder: Courtney Love and Hole come June 25 to the Wellmont Theatre in Montclair to support their new album Nobody's Daughter (reviewed last issue). WellmontTheatre.com.

Tues, June 22 they're at The Electric Factory in Philadelphia. holerock.net, c o u r t n e y - l o v e . o r g , myspace.com/Hole, myspace.com/courtneylove

Phil Putnam ~ Casualties;

Second Thoughts

Casualties, released in November of 2008, is Putnam's seventh album. Second Thoughts is five unplugged songs from Casualties. Hope sprang eternal, but neither have grown on me.

Even with the generous space allotted Dancing To Architecture, typically there is no room for negative reviews. Putnam sent me his previous album, but not these, probably because I didn't review what he sent. (It was too lackluster.) I've given too many listening hours to trying to like Putnam's music; he promotes it by trying to push your buttons with comparisons to interesting musicians and attractive ideas, almost all for naught. But I must bother to use this space on him only because of a serious breach of ethics on his website.

Hyperbole is forgivable, and I'm responsible for my own misguided responses to it. But sometimes things said go too far. I take exception to the unearned comparisons he makes on his website (or which are made for him by whoever wrote it) to songwriters of the highest quality. On his "about" page, one can actually read the "stunning" claims: "With stunning lyrical depth and a piano-based pop/rock sound, Putnam has earned a place alongside greats like David Gray, Rufus Wainwright, Tori Amos, David Wilcox, and Ben Folds."

ALONGSIDE BEN FOLDS? ALONGSIDE DAVID GRAY? ALONGSIDE DAVID WILCOX???? THAT'S. JUST. WRONG.

Someone's hubris is showing. I don't believe I've encountered a more ridiculously deluded assertion by an otherwise nice guy. Putnam can't seriously think he's in a league within reach of the likes of Wilcox or Folds. It is plain disrespectful to claim "a place alongside greats." What can the continued existence of these claims on his website for 18 months lead one to believe about him — and about his fan base, for accepting them? Point blank: He shouldn't be saying it — not for promotional value, not for anything. Take some advice, whoever's responsible: Change that offensive line to read "With a piano-based pop/rock sound, Putnam is inspired by [the list of songwriters]." And leave it at that. OK? I would be guilty of a kind of mistaken, imbalanced writing of my own if I didn't include some review of Putnam's music. Here goes: Putnam's could be music you'd like, if only it didn't come across as generic. No, it needs its own phrase. "Pseudo-generic?" Pseudogeneric. I keep wondering who this guy is, even as he sings of angels and devils and sacrifice, even as he claims to be baring his soul.

Could the man be as prosaic and as Hallmark-nice as his music?

The most egregious example: In "Here To Stay" "…Daddy waxed rhapsodic [about how fags stayed in the closet in the good old days. That's the gist of the lyric. I won't assault you with the actual words.]" Wait… Waxed rhapsodic??? You're writing a song about a gay son standing up to his father, and an inner voice doesn't tell you that a phrase like that sticks out like a sore thumb? If one album after another of yours contains arrangements that put the lyrics front and center (and they do), shouldn't those lyrics, after years of gestation, be coming to public view more well-honed by now?

A few songs that stand wobbly on their own: "Severity," "Sacrifice," "Let It Go". Each are little migrating bird-like evangelists, meant to appear beautiful for a moment, then to travel to visit some new neighbor with their message. The other songs (but one) are still fledglings. "Ache" is one of the five songs from Casualties that gets the "acoustic" treatment on Second Thoughts, and its simple charms benefit from it, clothed in only piano and a small string ensemble.

Unfortunately, a moment spent with the cover art (on this page) and you'll see how one can judge a book an album by its cover(s). They're professional, clean, well-executed — and have all the impact of the blank face of the walking "casualty" in Casualties' outline drawing. For all the selfawareness Putnam expresses, after sharing hurts he's suffered and after stating that "Casualties is about growing up and getting on," he seems unaware of how unformed a person he is, how not-filled-in his outline is.

Reminds me of the line parodying Bob Dylan: " I've suffered for my music.

Now it's your turn." But I won't stand by quietly and take it.

Dancing To Architecture™ contents © 2010 Bill Stella. All ™, ® & © items included in the column for review purposes are ™, ® & © their respective owners.

Page 16 CHALLENGE Summer 2010

GAY ACTIVIST ALLIANCE IN MORRIS COUNTY

Officers President....................................................Andy Skurna........................................President VP Community Services.................................... Sherri Rase.............................................. Info VP Operations............................................... John Livoti Secretary .................................................. Gordon Sauer ....................................... Secretary Treasurer (acting)......................................... Andy Skurna....................................... Treasurer

@ GAAMC.org @ GAAMC.org @ GAAMC.org @ GAAMC.org

Trustees Paul Greenberg, Marty Grifone, Mitch Rubin, Mickey Suiter Trustees Emeriti Sue Harris, Robin Schneider, Mark Wydner Committee Chairs Activism.............................................................. open......................................... Activism @ GAAMC.org Archives....................................................Mickey Suiter ........................................ Archives @ GAAMC.org Discussion Group Resources............................ Gordon Sauer ..................................... Discussions @ GAAMC.org Facebook....................................................Andy Skurna Fundraising............................................. Paul Greenberg..................................... Fundraising @ GAAMC.org Information..................................................Mitch Rubin..................................... FreeLibrary @ GAAMC.org Member Services/Front Desk............ John Livoti, Allen Neuner Membership......................................................... open................................... Memberships @ GAAMC.org Pride Guide................................................... Sue Harris......................................PrideGuide @ GAAMC.org Programs..................................................... Sherri Rase........................................ Programs @ GAAMC.org Public Relations............................................. Sherri Rase.............................................. Info @ GAAMC.org Socials................................................... Charlie Murphy........................................... Socials @ GAAMC.org Speakers Bureau........................................... Chris Selitto................................ SpeakersBureau @ GAAMC.org Volunteerism.................................................Sherri Rase....................................... Volunteer @ GAAMC.org Webmaster ................................................. Andy Skurna..................................... Webmaster @ GAAMC.org Yahoo! Group................................................. Sue Harris GAAMC, the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County, has served New Jersey’s gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and intersexed community since 1972. GAAMC is a not-for-profit volunteer-run organization that provides social, educational, and outreach programs. GAAMC also offers opportunities for individuals to become politically active on issues related to the GLBTI community. Our intent is to maintain a positive, healthy, respectful, and supportive environment in a safe space.

Meetings are held every Monday evening at the Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, 21 Normandy Heights Rd., Morristown, NJ (near the Morris Museum). Discussion groups meet from 7:00 to 8:00. The evening's program starts at 8:00 pm. Refreshments are available. For program information, call our information line or check our homepage (see below). Members and non-members are always welcome.

Annual membership dues are: Regular, $40/single, $70/couple; Students/Seniors, $30/single, $60/couple.

Those looking to help out at GAAMC can contact the Volunteer Coordinator, Sherri Rase, at Volunteer @ GAAMC.org.

How to reach GAAMC Mail: PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961 Telephone: 973-285-1595 E-Mail: info @ gaamc.org Home page: http://www.gaamc.org Mail List: http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/gaamc