2010-2011 GAAMC.org Pride Guide

GAAMC Presents

Pride Guide 2010–2011

A Guide to GLBTI New Jersey www.gaamc.org

GAAMC: Serving New Jersey’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Intersexed Community since 1972

KEVIN P. SUSZKO, CPA, PC

Certified Public Accountant Tax Planning & Preparation Accounting Services Financial Planning Day & Evening Appointments Suszko & Cimera, LLP PO Box 701 Short Hills, NJ 07078 973-376-4121 KPSCPA@gmail.com

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2010

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Pride Guide 2010

A Guide to Gay New Jersey Published in May 2010 by The Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County, a 501(c)3 non-profit corporation. Serving New Jersey’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Intersexed Community Since 1972.

Table of Contents Information and Articles

Welcome to Pride Guide 2010 by Sue Harris ................................................................ 4 Gay Circles by Gordon Sauer .............................................................................................. 5 President’s Letter by Andy Skurna........................................................................................ 6 All About GAAMC .............................................................................................. 8, 9, 10, 11 The Same, But Different by Emma Leigh ......................................................................... 12 New Day’s Blessing by Johanna Goergen .......................................................................... 13 My Teacher Is a Bully by Lisa O’Connor, M.D. .............................................................. 14 Saying “That’s So Gay” Is So Uncool by Eric Ruhalter .................................................... 17 Middle School Gay-Straight Alliance by Deb Comeau-Trudel ........................................ 18 LEAGUE Foundation by Charles Eader ........................................................................... 20 It’s Prom Season and Graduation Is Just Around the Corner by ACLU-NJ ................... 22 New School Is Fully Accredited for Gay Students by Toby Grace .................................. 23 Org. Profile: New Jersey LGBT Cancer Support Group ................................................. 24 The Fight For Equality Continues by Jill R. Harris ........................................................... 25 A Judge’s Good Deeds by Melissa B. Brisman ................................................................ 26 k.d. lang: Recollection [Deluxe] by Steve Phillips ............................................................. 28 Org Profile: PFLAG by Randy Kowalik ............................................................................ 30 Org Profile: Jersey Lyfe by DeAnn Cox ............................................................................ 32 Calendar of Events .............................................................................................................. 34 Pride Guide Editor’s Notes by Sue Harris ..................................................................... 36

Listings Adoption ....................... 37 Animal Companions ..... 37 Arts/Photography .......... 37 Computer/Technology Services ...................... 38 Entertainment/Events ... 39 Financial/Insurance ....... 46 Help/Info Lines ............ 47

HIV/AIDS Support and Services ...................... 48 Legal Services ................ 55 Libraries ........................ 57 Mental Health ............... 58 Organizations ................ 66 Personal Services .......... 81 Physical Health/Fitness ..82

Print/Radio/Web .......... 84 Real Estate Services ...... 89 Religion/Spirituality ....... 90 Retail/Business .............. 95 Social Services ............... 98 Sports/Recreation ......... 99 Surrogacy ..................... 100 Youth/Young Adults ... 101

Pride Guide 2010 was printed by DJG Associates. See their ad on page 97 .

Entire contents are copyright © May 2010 Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County (GAAMC). All copyrights revert to the original authors upon publication.

The Pride Guide and the editors aim to publish accurate information and listings. Responsibility cannot be assumed by the Pride Guide , GAAMC, the editors, the contributors, or any board member in the event of a claim of loss, damage, or injury arising from any information in this Guide.

Statements of contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect the policies or opinions of the Pride Guide or GAAMC.

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2010

Welcome to Pride Guide 2010

by Sue Harris

Welcome to the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County’s Pride Guide 2010 .

We hope you will keep it handy and refer to it frequently. There are almost 300 listings in this edition. When you patronize businesses or service vendors listed or advertised in Pride Guide, please let them know how you found them. It helps them know their advertising is paying off!

Five thousand copies of Pride Guide 2010 are being distributed free of charge throughout New Jersey to organizations, professionals, businesses, and at Pride and other events throughout the year.

You’ll see herein several articles on issues important to our community, a list of community events and information, and listings and ads for businesses and organizations serving New Jersey’s GLBTI community.

If there is anything wrong with this edition of Pride Guide (like spelling, punctuation, or layout), I guess I have to take full responsibility as the editor.

If you wanted to be included in this edition of Pride Guide and are not, then it’s your own darn fault. Each advertiser and each listing in last year’s Pride Guide was contacted by e-mail or by phone. Many responded with changes but some ignored requests for updates. If we could not verify your contact info, we had to drop your listing. We asked you last year to submit updates to keep your info current. Please make sure you are included in next year’s Pride Guide edition by sending an e-mail to prideguide@gaamc.org , or you can mail an update to us at GAAMC, Attn: Pride Guide, PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961-0137. See the form in the centerfold of this book.

As with all volunteer projects, this one is a labor of love for us. My personal thanks to all who helped.

I especially want to thank all the advertisers for advertising with us.

Pride Guide was laid out using OpenOffice.org & other Free Open Source Software (FOSS) on the Linux distribution PCLinuxOS.

www.pclinuxos.com Publication of the name of any person, organization, or business in Pride Guide should not be construed as an indication of the sexual orientation of such person or organization.

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CIRCLES Circles NJ

by Gordon Sauer

Men’s and women’s discussion groups are back at GAAMC! Based on a New York group that has existed for more than 20 years, CirclesNJ offers structured discussion meetings in a safe space.

At each meeting, we choose one of the topics below and answer questions designed to promote discussion in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. So come on by to GAAMC and give Circles NJ a try!

Circles meetings start at 7:00pm.

Discussion topics include: Growing Up Identity Intimacy Women Family Work Being GLBTI Change

Homophobia Reaching Out Role Models Marriage Equality Sex & Sexuality Stages of life Friendship Gay Prejudice

Parents & Parenting Heritage & Community Politics & Activism I’m Out, What’s Next?

Sex Off the Beaten Path Love & Relationships

Your own suggested topic

For further Circles info, contact Gordon at discussions@gaamc.org or just come to GAAMC, at 21 Normandy Heights Road, Morristown, NJ 07960 on any Monday night.

Gordon Sauer is GAAMC’s Discussion Group Chairperson.

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2010

President’s Letter

by Andy Skurna

Dear Parents and Guardians: Your children did not choose their sexual orientation. They have no control over whether they are heterosexual or not. No one “turned” them gay, lesbian, or bisexual. No one transplanted a man’s brain into your daughter. She is under no evil spell. Neither you nor she is being punished for any past transgression. Sexual orientation and sexual identity are determined before birth.

Once you accept the simple fact that no one chooses his or her sexual orientation, and that sexual orientations and identities cannot be changed, these facts of life become easier to handle. It then becomes much easier to strip away inappropriate moral judgments. A person’s sexual orientation, like his or her skin color or height, is neither chosen nor changeable.

When I was 10 or 11 years old, my parents were directed to take me for psychological testing by my teacher, because they felt something was not right. I could design race cars with the boys in the morning, kick butt playing soccer during gym, run faster than anyone in my school during recess, and help the girls braid their hair in the afternoon. My teacher could not reconcile this. My young, naïve, straight parents didn’t know what to do. So, when someone who’s worked with hundreds or thousands of children over her career says their child needs a psychologist, my parents would have been negligent not to heed the warnings.

I wasn’t privy to this conversation. And I hadn’t asked to see a psychologist. So I was shocked when I was taken to a shrink! The only conclusion I could draw was that my parents were not satisfied with me and thought that I was crazy. Either I was crazy or I was being punished for something. No matter how I looked at it, it was bad! In subsequent conversations, when I tried to convince them that I’d be good and they didn’t need to take me to a doctor, it became clear that the teacher’s “recommendation” was really a threat of expulsion from our private school.

After a few months of tests (ink blots, finish this sentence, tell the story in this photo, word association, and many I am sure I’ve forgotten) the appointments came to an abrupt end. I didn’t ask too many questions. In fact, at this stage of my life, I spoke to my parents only when absolutely necessary. And surely I was not going to ask any questions that might have had potentially catastrophic answers.

One night a few weeks later, as I lay awake staring at the ceiling, praying that God would “fix” me, I overheard my parents’ conversation. They obviously assumed that I was asleep, or out of range. I heard my mother explain to my father that she had spoken with the doctor, and he delivered the test results. She said that he had concluded that there was nothing wrong with me; I was just gay.

Both of my parents were upset. “Distraught” may be the more appropriate word here. They volleyed back and forth with ignorance of the subject. My father and I had hated each other from the time I began speaking. He had been calling me “Mary” and “sissy” for as long as I could remember, so he obviously suspected

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that I was not straight. However, I think he was stunned to have a professional confirm his suspicions. It changed him. No longer would he taunt me with bullying nicknames in an effort to encourage more “masculine” behaviors. From then on, he had very little reason to speak to me at all. That was okay by me.

I heard my mother recount how she had explored with the psychologist all the possible causes and cures, and that he finally explained that they hadn’t caused me to become gay, I did not choose to become gay, and there was no way to change who or what I was. More than three and a half decades later, I can still remember with crystal clarity the doctor’s words my mother quoted to my father, “You can either accept your gay son, or risk not having a son at all.”

Overhearing this conversation traumatized me. I cannot express the self-loathing and despair I felt. I hated God for not answering my pleas that He make me right.

I hated myself for disappointing my parents. I hated the doctor for giving me a permanent label, taking away my hope of someday waking up normal. I hated my parents for having these conversations behind my back. I hated the teacher and couldn’t bear the fact that she was the initiator of this conspiracy to ruin my life.

How is it that I did not kill myself? Seriously, how does a child of 10 or 11 deal with all this pressure? How does someone reconcile that all the most important people in his life consider him a failure, a complete loss?

My parents were reluctant to discuss the whole ordeal directly with me. My mother tried her very best to let me know that no matter who or what I was, I would always be her baby boy. No living soul and no event, even death, could ever cause her to stop loving me. What was missing from this poignant conversation was the literal discussion of the subject matter at hand. Perhaps she felt I was too young to discuss the topic of sexuality, and/or that as my mother (not my father) it was not her place. She tried her very best to express her unconditional love. But somehow the effort fell short.

What was needed was a very direct, matter-of-fact discussion, without room for blame or shame. I needed to know that my development was normal. I needed to understand that I would feel these feelings throughout my entire life and that they were normal. I needed to hear that despite what was being taught by my religious leaders, I was not going to hell because I was a homosexual. I needed to know that all the derogatory names I’d been called were borne of fear and ignorance, and that they meant nothing. I needed the years of being labeled “Mary” and “sissy” corrected. I needed to hear an apology. Since this conversation did not take place, I spent many years (years most consider their “wonder” years) in a storm of denial, self-loathing, and risky and rebellious behavior.

A recently completed study on bullying of sexual-minority children and adolescents showed that most non-heterosexual children sense they are different when they are 7 years old. Most children form their first romantic crush when they are 10 years old.

So I beg of you, PLEASE have a conversation with your children, the younger the better, and explain to them that not all girls like boys, and not all boys like girls, and that it is OKAY. Explain this to ALL of your children.

Sincerely, Andy Skurna, GAAMC President.

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2010

An Overview of GAAMC In 1972, when the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County (GAAMC) was founded, there were already “Gay Activist Alliances” in several other counties in New Jersey.

GAAMC is the lone survivor of those early community-building groups and has become one of the oldest suburban-based GLBTI groups in the United States.

While you do not have to be a member to attend meetings, your membership helps GAAMC grow, broadening our sphere of influence. Membership benefits include a subscription to our monthly newsletter, Challenge , a reduced door donation on Monday nights, and voting privileges.

Our facilities are partially wheelchair-accessible. We can also provide sign language interpreters for the hearing-impaired. (Please send an e-mail request to info@gaamc.org.)

GAAMC’s Four Purposes

Social: We always have time to talk with each other. Many of our meetings focus on fun, such as holiday barbecues, the annual Holiday Show, Halloween Social, annual Thanksgiving dinner, $1.98 Beauty Pageant, movie nights, game nights, and original plays in our Lively Arts Series. Olympia’s Daughters, the Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey, Regina Sayles, Mindy Schmitt, and Mr. Scarlett O’Hara have entertained us recently. Many of the performances include talented GAAMC members.

Educational: Many interesting topics are explored through panel or group discussions and guest speakers. Recent topics have included civil rights, financial planning, AIDS, long term care planning, Transgendered 101, and civil union updates. For more than 20 years, March has been Sex Month at GAAMC. Political: GAAMC is committed to educating its members about political issues that affect the GLBTI community on local, state, and national levels. We accomplish this through announcements and guest speakers, including a candidates’ forum just before election time.

Activism: Through the Activism Committee, we strive to represent our members and to ensure their opinions are made known to their state and federal representatives.

Main Meetings

The doors at 21 Normandy Heights Road, the Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, open each Monday night at 6:30. Volunteers set up the building for our meeting.

As people arrive, they pay the modest suggested door donation (special rates for members, students, seniors, and others) at the Welcoming Table, receive a name tag so they can be greeted by friends and friends-to-be, and usually proceed to where snacks and beverages are available.

In the Great Hall, they can pick up free literature and newspapers and chat with friends.

At 7:00, people attend the discussion group of choice. At 8:00, the groups end and people are encouraged to listen to the community announcements. Then the main program of the evening takes place from about 8:00 to 9:30. Most evenings end by 10pm.

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GAAMC’s Discussion Groups

Discussion groups meet every Monday night, usually from 7:00 to 8:00. There are men’s, women’s and mixed groups. Among them are the following: The Open Talk discussion group meets in the Library, beginning at 7:00. ALL are welcome to join this discussion. Topics will be drawn from all aspects of LGBTI life or current events.

Circles-NJ meets in 8-week sessions and is facilitated by Gordon Sauer. See page 5.

Please note that while all discussion group participants are encouraged to share their feelings and experiences, it is not necessary. Talking is not essential. Someone can receive support and information by listening to others in a group—as well as being listened to by them. At all meetings we adhere to GAAMC’s safe space rules which are posted on our bulletin board.

For more information about discussion groups, go to www.gaamc.org or send an e-mail to discussions@gaamc.org. Gordon is also available any Monday before 7:00pm.

Publications

Our newsletter, Challenge , contains items of current local, state, and national interest, announcements of events, and classified and business advertisements.

We publish this annual Pride Guide that you have in your hand. It is a free guide to services for New Jersey’s GLBTI community. We also post the information contained herein and much, much more on our website: www.gaamc.org.

Speakers Bureau

Our Speakers Bureau carries information to other groups that are interested in learning about the GLBTI community. We speak to churches, schools, civic groups, and businesses, and welcome speaking invitations from any organization.

Gay Pride Month: June

In June, GAAMC presents programs focused on Gay Pride. We invite you to join us in marching behind our banner in the Asbury Park Pride Parade the first Sunday in June and the New York City Pride March the last Sunday in June. See our contact information on page 10.

GAAMC Membership

Membership in GAAMC is open to people 18 years of age and older. Benefits of membership include a subscription to our newsletter, Challenge , one FREE classified ad per month in Challenge , a reduced door donation on Monday nights, voting privileges, and eligibility to serve as an officer or member of the Board of Trustees. The membership year extends from October 1st to September 30th, and dues are collected annually. See the application form in the center of this Guide.

Gay and Lesbian Youth in New Jersey ® (GALY-NJ)

When GALY-NJ started on April 1, 1989, there was a great need for a safer place for GLBTI and questioning youth to meet.

Over the years, many other venues have emerged, including Gay/Straight Alliances in high schools, Internet groups, and other social groups. Anti-bullying laws enacted by the New Jersey Legislature and enforced by New Jersey’s Division on Civil Rights are making schools safer places for all youth. More young people are coming out at an earlier age and there are many more “out” role models.

As of May 2006, GALY-NJ achieved its mission. We are proud of our GALY alums, who are creating change here in New Jersey and around the world.

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Directions to GAAMC’s Meeting Place 21 Normandy Heights Road, Morristown, NJ 07960 From the North: From I-80 or US 46, take I-287 south to exit 37 (Route 24 east). Proceed 1.8 miles to exit 2A (Morristown) and exit onto Route 510 west. Go through the light at Park Ave. At the next traffic light, turn right onto Normandy Heights Road. The Morristown Unitarian Fellowship is on the left at #21.

From the South: Take I-287 north to exit 36A (Morris Avenue East). Proceed 0.4 miles to a fork and bear right onto Columbia Turnpike (Route 510 east).

Continue an additional 0.5 mile to a traffic light and turn left onto Normandy Heights Road (the Morris Museum is on the left). Immediately bear right. The Morristown Unitarian Fellowship is on the right at #21.

From the East: Take Route 24 west to exit 2A (Morristown) and exit onto Route 510 west, or take South Orange Ave west which becomes Columbia Turnpike (Route 510 west) crossing under Route 24. Then go through the light at Park Ave. At the next traffic light, turn right onto Normandy Heights Road. The Morristown Unitarian Fellowship is on the left at #21.

From the West: Drive to I-287, then follow the appropriate directions to come from the north or south.

From the Parkway: Garden State Parkway North to I-78 West, to Route 24 West. Follow directions from the east.

There is plenty of parking available. Also, train service is available to Morristown or Convent Station, and it’s a short taxi ride to 21 Normandy Heights Road.

How to Reach Us: Message Center: 973-285-1595 (leave a detailed message) Pay Phone on Monday Nights: 973-455-9738 Mail: PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961-0137 E-mail: info@gaamc.org Visit Us Online: www.gaamc.org groups.yahoo.com/group/GAAMC www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=35972756832 Subscribe to Our Periodic eNews (see back cover): news@gaamc.org

—Know That You Are Not Alone!—

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GAAMC Officers and Trustees President: Andy Skurna......................................................President@gaamc.org Vice President for Community Services : Sherri Rase........Info@gaamc.org Vice President for Operations : John Livoti Secretary : Gordon Sauer.....................................................Secretary@gaamc.org Treasurer(acting): Andy Skurna.........................................Treasurer@gaamc.org Trustees: Paul Greenberg, Mitch Rubin, and Mickey Suiter Trustees Emeriti : Sue Harris, Robin G. Schneider, and Mark Wydner

Committee Chairs and Project Leaders Activism: Open.....................................................................Activism@gaamc.org Archives: Mickey Suiter........................................................Archives@gaamc.org Challenge : Allen Neuner....................................................Challenge@gaamc.org Communications Director : Kerry Dinkin Discussion Group Resources : Gordon Sauer...........Discussions@gaamc.org Facebook Group : Andy Skurna Fundraising: Paul Greenberg..........................................Fundraising@gaamc.org Information: Mitch Rubin................................................Freelibrary@gaamc.org Mailing List: Sue Harris and Allen Neuner ............ChangeAddress@gaamc.org Member Services: John Livoti and Allen Neuner................Visit the front desk Membership: Open.....................................................Memberships@gaamc.org Programs: Sherri Rase.........................................................Programs@gaamc.org Public Relations : Sherri Rase....................................................Info@gaamc.org Social: Charlie Murphy............................................................Socials@gaamc.org Speakers Bureau: Christopher Selitto....................SpeakersBureau@gaamc.org Special Events : John Livoti...................................................Tickets@gaamc.org Volunteerism: Sherri Rase................................................Volunteer@gaamc.org Webmaster: Andy Skurna...............................................Webmaster@gaamc.org Yahoo! Group: Sue Harris.....................................................use link on Yahoo!

Pride Guide 2010 : This was truly a collaborative effort. Thank you all.

Editor-in-Chief & Layout : Sue Harris.........................PrideGuide@gaamc.org Contributors: Melissa B. Brisman; Deb Comeau-Trudel; DeAnn Cox; Charles Eader; Johanna Goergen; Toby Grace; Jill R. Harris; Randy Kowalik; Emma Leigh; Laurie Litt-Robbins, MSW, LCSW; Lisa O’Connor, MD; Steve Phillips; Eric Ruhalter; Gordon Sauer; Andy Skurna.

Proofreaders : Connie Gilbert, Jill R. Harris, Nancy Harris, Jacqueline Lehman, Annie Magliano, Ali Melillo, Nancy Post, Bob Reynolds, Mary Reynolds, Eric Schwarz, Ellen Smolko, Susan Steiner, Bob Thayer, Tim Tyler.

PayPal Maven : Andy Skurna.

Data Validator: Ed Schell.

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2010

The Same, But Different

by Emma Leigh

I am a teenage girl, but I have a different family than most teenagers do. Instead of having a mother and father, I have a mother and, well, another mother. It wasn’t like this my whole life. In fact, most of my life I was raised just by my biological mother. When I was about twelve years old, I found out that my mom was bisexual and that she had a partner. I could not believe that I would now have two female parents. This was a complete shock to my entire family that my mom had a girlfriend. I was in middle school, and I thought how unfair it was that I had this happen to me, almost like it was a curse. In middle school everybody wants to be like everyone else. We all want the same shoes, the same hair, and the same lives.

I was completely embarrassed having to go around with both my mom and her girlfriend in public. I felt like everybody knew that they were together and people would judge me for it. I wanted to have the ideal life that society says we should all have, with the white picket fence, a playful dog, and a mom and dad.

Since I did not have this, I became extremely angry and mad at my mom’s girlfriend. I thought that it was all her fault that I couldn’t be like everybody else. I would refuse to go places with them and made sure my friends didn’t see her when they came for sleepovers. I became jealous of her, as if she stole my mom from me, and would be extremely rude to her constantly. I would even be so embarrassed in public that I would walk by myself in the store so I would not be seen with them. I could not grasp how my mom could say she loved me more than anything but not give up her girlfriend for me. I was always worried that people would find out about my mom. That’s what my life revolved around because, even though I was fine with gay rights and marriage, I didn’t want my mom to be gay or bisexual. I felt this way because it is seen in society as wrong and bad, almost like a taboo of sorts.

After a few years of hating my mom’s girlfriend, I became more comfortable with her. I even began telling some of my friends so they would not wonder why this woman was always at my house. I realized that my friends were not true friends if they didn’t accept that I had two moms. I was really relieved when I finally became comfortable with having two female partners as parents.

I no longer worried in public when we all went out that people would judge me, because my mom being bisexual is not a reflection on me. Not only did I become more comfortable, I even became friends with my mom’s girlfriend.

She had come through for me even though she knew I had hated her. She would drive me to my friends’ houses and sports practices, and she even helped me study for tests. If I had been in her position, I know I would have never done all that she did for me. I was absolutely dreadful to her.

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Even though this was a really hard thing to accept and deal with at such a young age, I’m glad it happened to me. I learned so much from this that other kids will not learn for years. I learned to think about other people and their feelings, and that the whole world did not in fact revolve around me. I thought I could make my mom pick me over her partner. I thought I could stop her from loving somebody. I have realized I can’t do that, because you can’t control love. Love is a magical thing that nobody can stop. I realized my mom deserved her girlfriend who had treated me so well even though I despised her.

I now completely support them and I hope they stay together for the rest of their lives. I love both my biological mom and my second mom and I’m glad they found each other.

Emma Leigh is in the ninth grade in Morris County, NJ.

New Day’s Blessing

by Johanna Goergen

Sure as delicate sunlight breaks the dark, So the truest demesne exists in love.

No earthen surface does morning light mark With such sweet beauty, created thereof.

Ever resonating above dissent, Let this love, pure as morning’s soft palette, Evoked only by most heav’nly intent, Be not a choice, nor a fear, nor regret.

Hindered by false judgment if let so be, Throughout prejudice so cruelly amiss Such repressed affection fights fervently.

No love on this Earth exists, if not this.

Let ephemeral dawn ever attest Only love free of perception is blessed.

Johanna Goergen is a sophomore at Kinnelon High School. She enjoys reading, writing, running track, and cross country. She belongs to St. David’s Episcopal Church of Kinnelon, NJ, where everyone is welcome, especially those in the GLBTI community.

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My Teacher Is a Bully

by Lisa O’Connor, M.D.

Over the past four years, I have been asked to be an expert witness in two cases involving school bullying of GLBTI students. Most recently, a case came to my attention where one of my GLBTI clients was being bullied by her teacher. That’s bullying: in public, in front of classmates, humiliation, the whole shebang; by a teacher.

Shortly thereafter, this child did not want to go to school—not because she was being bullied by her classmates, but because she was being bullied by a teacher.

Over the years, the phenomenon of GLBTI bullying by students has garnered greater attention in the popular media. Researchers, health providers, and educators have sought to document the nature and extent of overall bullying in schools, its consequences, and the characteristics of bullies, victims, and bystanders. Unfortunately, the majority of this research has concentrated on peeron-peer bullying by students. (Davis, 2004; Garbarino & DeLara, 2002; Olweus, Limber, & Mihalic, 1997).

According to the 2005 California Healthy Kids Survey, seventh-graders in the state are 50% more likely to be harassed in school because of sexual orientation or gender identity than those in eleventh grade.

In the 2005 National School Climate Survey, nearly a fifth of GLBTI students reported being physically assaulted at school in the past year due to their sexual orientation.

More than one tenth of GLBTI students were assaulted due to their gender expression.

Similarly, relatively little research has been done on bullying by teachers or other staff, including coaches, who have supervisory control over students. For the purpose of this article, bullying by teachers or staff will be defined as a pattern of conduct, rooted in a power differential that threatens, harms, humiliates, induces fear, or causes students substantial emotional distress (Teachers Who Bully Students: Patterns and Policy Implications, Alan McEvoy, Ph.D., Wittenberg University, 2005). Even less research has been done about teachers bullying GLBTI students.

In Stuart Twemlow, M.D.’s anonymous survey of 116 teachers at seven elementary schools, more than 70% said they believed that bullying was isolated.

But 45% admitted to having bullied a student. Forty-five percent! Excuse me for a moment while I lose my authorial semi-impartiality. Geez! 45%? Are you kidding???

I always thought teachers were to be professional at all times and uphold the provisions mandated in the No Child Left Behind Act, which holds teachers accountable for the education and well-being of students under their supervision.

Therefore, a teacher cannot legally defame a student’s character. And yet it happens, and it happens much more frequently than one may imagine.

Remember: 45%!

Sadly, but not surprisingly, no state law expressly bars a teacher from verbally abusing a student. Verbal abuse of students by teachers is typically addressed

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through board of education policies, professional standards of conduct, teacher contracts, performance evaluations, and disciplinary measures.

A computer search of state laws yielded none in any state that expressly prohibits teachers from verbally abusing students. Two states have laws barring verbal abuse in certain situations. Oklahoma prohibits such abuse by caretakers of those in their care, while Nevada’s law applies only to children with disabilities who are placed in private educational institutions. Both laws include definitions of “verbal abuse.”

Of the 15 states that have school bullying laws, none expressly applies to teacher conduct. Of the four states that do not explicitly limit their laws to student conduct, three include verbal acts as part of their definition of bullying.

On the bright side, two states, New Jersey and Oregon, include legislative findings in their laws that commend school administrators, faculty, staff, and volunteers for “demonstrating appropriate behavior, treating others with civility and respect and refusing to tolerate harassment, intimidation or bullying” (NJSA § 18A: 37-13; ORS § 339.

353(3)).

Unfortunately, once children start to believe that all people are created equal except for people of a certain skin color, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity/expression, etc, Pandora’s box is broken wide open. Then the concept of exclusion is sanctioned (Bullied Teacher Bullied Student, Les Parsons, Pembroke Publishers, 2005).

“New Jersey is a state that takes bullying seriously and has made sincere efforts to address the problem,” said NJ Commission on Bullying in schools Chairman Dr. Stuart Green, a clinical educator at Overlook Hospital and founder of the NJ Coalition for Bullying Awareness and Prevention. “However, bullied and vulnerable children need even stronger support and protection. We must do more.” (Office of Child Advocate, January 8, 2009.)

The New Jersey Commission on Bullying in Schools was created by the Legislature and Governor Jon S. Corzine in 2007. It is charged with recommending ways to strengthen New Jersey’s approach to the problem of bullying in schools.

The Commission consists of 14 members representing educational, clinical, advocacy, academic, and public entities, including representatives from the Department of Education and the Division on Civil Rights.

The question remains, what do we do? How do we protect our children from the people who are charged with keeping our children safe? Quite the conundrum, no?

If I may be so bold as to borrow something I wrote two years ago: schools and youth groups have the power to create an environment in which bullying is not acceptable. GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, recommends four approaches that schools can begin implementing now to address anti-GLBTI bullying and harassment: 1) Adopt a comprehensive anti-bullying policy that enumerates categories such as race, gender, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, and gender expression/identity.

Enumeration is crucial to ensure that anti-bullying policies are effective for GLBTI students. Policies without enumeration are no more effective than having no policy

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at all when it comes to anti-GLBTI bullying and harassment, according to GLSEN’s 2005 National School Climate Survey.

2) Require staff training to enable school staff to identify and address anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying, and harassment effectively and in a timely manner.

Suggest/request staff training to educate school staff about the problem of anti-LGBTI name-calling, bullying, and harassment and empower them to address these situations in an effective and timely manner. Engage school staff members who want to help but are unsure how to specifically intervene and their counterparts who were previously unaware of the pervasiveness of this problem.

3) Support student efforts to address anti-GLBTI bullying and harassment on campus, such as the formation of a Gay-Straight Alliance. Young people need to know they can rely on support from someone they trust. This could be an assigned group of staff, volunteers, even a Pupil Peer Support Group. Use existing groups such as Student Council to facilitate and generate peer support for school awareness days/activities that promote tolerance and acceptance of differences in sexual orientation and gender expression, such as participation in the National Day of Silence in April, which brings attention to anti-GLBTI name-calling, bullying, and harassment in schools. (www.dayofsilence.org) 4) Institute age-appropriate, inclusive curricula to help students understand and respect differences within the school community and society as a whole.

Acknowledge the situation: not liking it will not make it go away. Support programs that encourage students, particularly the more vulnerable GLBTI students, to make friends and seek out teachers/staff with whom they feel safe.

How can I help my children?

Talk about being different and that IT IS OK TO BE DIFFERENT. Teach your child about diversity and keep lines of communication open. Learn about bullying and pass this information on to your child. Discuss bullying and how it relates to others who identify or are perceived as GLBTI. Childline (www.childline.org.uk) is one of many excellent resources about bullying.

Role play examples of bullying. Ask your children what they feel constitutes bullying.

Youngsters can mistake bullying for “harmless joking around.” Teach your children that it is not acceptable to behave like a bully or to tolerate bullying around them, even from teachers. Ensure they have the necessary skills to persistently seek assistance from teachers/staff with whom they feel safe and respected.

Additional resource: “The Prevalence of Teachers Who Bully Students in schools With Differing Levels of Behavioral Problems,” Stuart W. Twemlow, M.D., and Peter Fonagy, Ph.D., F.B.A., Am J Psychiatry 162:2387-2389, December 2005.

Lisa O’Connor, M.D. is a Board Certified Family Physician, Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, and National Platform Speaker who specializes in the medical and mental health care needs of the GLBTI community. For more information, go to www.healthytransitions.md.

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Saying “That’s So Gay” Is So Uncool

by Eric Ruhalter

Ya know what is SO gay? Using the word “gay” to describe something that is pathetic, weak, uncool, or in any other way worthy of degradation. That’s one outdated idiom that really has to go. It’s definitely on its way out, but it would be nice to hasten its retreat by any means possible.

One tack that might be taken is to flood the vernacular with other terms that might be offensive to other large groups of people. That might help get the message across. It’s not really intended to be a fight-fire-with-fire approach, but merely a way to illustrate how wrong and offensive this practice is.

In a situation where an ignorant person might assert, “That is so gay” or some such, we could all make a concerted effort to substitute with phrases like: “That is so Lutheran!” “Don’t be such a Jogger!” “That is the Hawaiianest thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Don’t get all Mass Transit Commuter on me!” “That’s totally Homeschooled!”

“What are you, French?!” “Stop being such a Banjo Player!” “I can’t believe what a F-ing Tea Drinker you are!” “You are a total Barber, ya know that?”

Maybe that way we can offend everyone in the world into getting the picture—“Gay” is not an acceptable pejorative term. You can use the term “Gay” to mean “Festive” or “Brightly Colored.” But beyond that it is only intended to signify a person’s sexual orientation. “Gay” implies no further judgments about their character. The Gay person may very well be pathetic, weak, uncool, etc., but that’s got nothing to do with the fact that they’re gay. If they espouse any unfavorable qualities, henceforth, everyone is encouraged to address those more directly.

Eric Ruhalter lives in Morristown, NJ, with his wife and 3 children. You can watch the very clever video looking inside Eric’s amusing and insightful gift book The KidDictionary: Words People Need To Describe Kids at www.TheKidDictionary.com.

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Middle School Gay-Straight Alliance

by Deb Comeau-Trudel

In our grade 6-8 middle school, the GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) meets after school weekly.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Straight Ally students gather in a classroom with their faculty advisor and a SAC (Student Assistance Coordinator or Guidance Counselor). The group is open to all students, serving as a social and support group. A student-generated guideline poster is read at the start of each meeting; confidentiality, taking turns, and “voluntary disclosure” are reviewed to establish a safe environment. Over a snack we begin with the question “does anyone have anything they want to talk about today?”

So, why middle school? Shouldn’t GSAs happen at the high school level? This is a question I hear from peer teachers and occasionally from a parent, a question I definitely heard from our school administration. Research shows, and it’s common sense, really, that schools need to provide support and visibility for our queer and questioning youth. The first GSA in the United States was formed in Massachusetts in 1988 by Kevin Jennings, founder and former Executive Director of GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network). He was a history teacher. The group was an idea of a student. Since then, GSAs have sprung up all over the United States; according to tolerance.org, more than 2,800 high schools are registered with GLSEN. At least 500 GSAs exist in middle schools today. (Teaching Tolerance Magazine, Number 31, Spring 2007.)

In this article, I focus only on the need for middle school Gay Straight Alliances.

Generous amounts of information are available online (GLSEN, NY Times Magazine, ACLU, Lambda Legal) pertaining to the need for Gay Straight Alliances in school— many periodicals describe how schools with GSAs benefit not only queer youth but the entire school community. Specifically at the middle school level, though, name calling and bullying are especially brutal. Physical harassment and assault occur. Students perceived to be LGBTQ are targets also. GLSEN’s deputy director, Eliza Byard said, “There is something about the name-calling environment in junior high and middle school that is particularly prevalent, and it makes middle school an important focus for behavioral change.” Fuse that with the ability of a 13-year-old to access all kinds of (not necessarily accurate) information online. Add to the mix the amount of texting and instant messaging and cyberbullying that happen every day. Twelve-year-olds are talking about sex, and they are talking about what it’s like to be gay.

Important to note: A Gay-Straight Alliance is not a “sex club.” Yes, educators have actually asked me that question. Repeatedly. In our middle school GSA, we don’t talk about the logistics of sex—that’s clearly inappropriate for a school setting. A person’s sexual identity and gender identity can be, and are, discussed without focus on sexuality. Nor is GSA a “recruitment” forum. Attending GSA meetings do not “make” you gay any more than watching Teletubbies does.

Here’s what we do, and it’s not a secret: we talk about how to handle put-downs and bullying. We talk about personal and family stress related to coming out or having a gay relative. We talk about what to do when someone you love is LGBTQ and you’re watching them struggle. We brainstorm ideas for approaching an adult or teacher who

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makes homophobic and hurtful comments. We talk about stereotypes, gender expectations, and gender expression. We talk about what to do when a classmate says, “You’re a girl, so why do you dress like a boy?” GSA participants want to understand terms like activist, homophobia, gender identity, and transgender. They ask to learn about LGBTQ people in history, and they seek contemporary role models. They want to discuss the Laramie Project, learn about the Matthew Shepard tragedy, Stonewall, and other significant historical events that were left out of their social studies books.

They want to know exactly how the law protects them in and out of school, and what to do when their rights are violated. They discuss current events and learn how to cope with the frustration of gradual change.

In other middle schools without a GSA, students with older siblings in high schools request to start one in their own schools. They are ready to take a stand against homophobia and intolerance, and they express frustration over the use of “that’s so gay.” In many schools, the students are more comfortable than educators in discussing gay issues. (New York Times Magazine, September 27, 2009.)

“You’re too young to know you’re gay,” is a statement that infuriates my students.

The fact that young adults are recognizing their attraction to others (both same and opposite gender) is recognized in the State of New Jersey Core Curriculum, requiring health classes to introduce homosexuality as a valid, realistic way of life. The health curriculum requires teachers to discuss same gender parent families also—and this discussion is supposed to happen by 5th grade. Unfortunately, though, most teachers are not trained to talk to students about homosexuality, and/or do not have the comfort level to do so. Administrators may be unaware, or worse—don’t care—that homosexuality is left out of the human sexuality unit in health class.

Our regular members are incredibly enthusiastic about attending GSA meetings. They describe the meetings as “fun” and consistently impress me with their maturity and insight.

Please contact me via e-mail (crazyarteacher@yahoo.com) if I can serve as a resource or support in starting a GSA in your school. I’ll close with a letter from one of our GSA members, a 13-year old (female bodied and female gender identified) bisexual student:

Dear Mrs. Comeau-Trudel, GSA means a lot to me. GSA allows me to find friends who love and accept me for who I am. It shows me I am not alone… GSA is a huge part of my life at school. Without it, I don’t know what my life would be like.

Thank you.

Deb Comeau-Trudel is a middle school art educator in Montclair Public Schools. She is faculty advisor to the Gay-Straight Alliance, which she founded last year. She holds Bachelor of Science and Master’s degrees in Art Education and has been twice honored as recipient of the Governor’s Award for Excellence in Teaching (MD and NJ). She has been teaching art for 16 years, is a former resident camp director, and volunteered with Youth Support programs at the Baltimore GLBT Community Center in MD. Mrs. Comeau-Trudel came out at age 15 and will celebrate her third year of civil union in December.

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by Charles Eader “Every student has the right and potential to excel. The LEAGUE Foundation provides financial resources for America’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender youth to attend institutions of higher learning to meet this mission.”

Since its founding in 1995 and with its first scholarships awarded in 1996, the LEAGUE Foundation has continued to live up to its mission. The organization was originally founded as a grass-roots organization with the generous support of some conscientious LEAGUE (Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay and Transgender United Employees at AT&T) members. Through the years, the organization has grown into a national charitable scholarship fund with recognized 501(c)3 non-profit status. With a reach to all 50 states along with support from corporations, individuals, and other GLBT organizations, the LEAGUE Foundation continues to set records for student applications year after year. Due to changes in the economy and technology advances, more and more students are becoming aware of various programs available. The LEAGUE Foundation has played a prominent role in their search for many years now.

“As always, the LEAGUE [Foundation] is at the forefront of thinking about our future. These scholarships for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender students are essential if we are to provide our youth with the tools they need to be activists now and in the future,” says Kerry Lobel, Former Executive Director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.

To date, the LEAGUE Foundation has given 79 college scholarships totaling more than $132,000 to self-identified GLBT graduating U.S. high school students based on the following achievements: a cumulative grade-point average of 3.0 or better on a 4.0 scale (unweighted); significant involvement in community service with an extra focus on the GLBT community; and acceptance to an accredited U.S. college or university. Types of institutions include, but are not limited to: public, private, community college, religious, specialized, art, fashion, performance, engineering, or business. Students have majored in just about every known subject area available. That is the beauty of the LEAGUE Foundation programs. The door is open for almost every GLBT high school student who is seeking additional education after high school.

Joan Garry, Former Executive Director of Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, has stated: “The LEAGUE Foundation’s scholarship program is about so much more than financial support. It is reaching out to our youth and providing them with an element of safe space as they begin their college careers.”

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In addition to awarding up to five Foundation awards, the LEAGUE Foundation awards two named scholarships. The “Matthew Shepard Memorial Scholarship” has been awarded since 1999. The LEAGUE Foundation is proud to offer this award, named for the Wyoming college student murdered in 1998 for his sexual orientation, with the permission of the Shepard family. The “Laurel Hester Memorial Scholarship” was first awarded in 2006. This award was named for the NJ police lieutenant who successfully challenged the Ocean County Freeholders for the right to leave her pension and benefits to her partner, Stacie Andree. The LEAGUE Foundation played an important role in the development of the Academy Award winning film, “Freeheld,” directed by filmmaker Cynthia Wade, which documented Laurel’s struggles.

“Many [GLBT] youth feel they have no future. By offering this scholarship, LEAGUE [Foundation] sends an important message that their lives do matter!” said Kevin Jennings, Former Executive Director of Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network.

It is important for the GLBT community to maintain its commitment to our youth by continuing to be a positive role model. Here is what one mother of a LEAGUE Foundation award winner had to say: “I just wanted to express my thanks for the gift you gave my daughter... So let me just say, I, as her mother, was truly touched by your gift and the work you do. I, along with her, will spread the word of your work.”

The LEAGUE Foundation maintains an all volunteer board with very nominal overhead. The goal here is to maximize the amount of resources available to the students. Board members represent communities all over the country. In addition to accepting monetary donations, the organization also accepts donations of automobiles, real property, and other tangible assets.

For more information on the LEAGUE Foundation and its programs, or to make a contribution, please visit the website: www.LEAGUEFoundation.org.

While on the website, don’t forget to sign the guest book so you can stay informed about current happenings at the LEAGUE Foundation.

Remember, your support of today’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender youth is crucial in helping them to become tomorrow’s community leaders.

Charles Eader is the Executive Director of the LEAGUE Foundation and has been dedicated to serving The Community and local government for many years through appointments to boards and commissions and as treasurer to the Multiple Sclerosis Foundation. Charles was President of the LEAGUE Foundation from 2001 to 2007 when he assumed the role of Executive Director. Currently, Charles works in Product Management for AT&T and resides with his partner, Jonathan, in Bedminster, NJ.

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It’s Prom Season and Graduation Is Just Around the Corner…

Know Your Rights!

Spring can be an exciting time for students—proms, senior trips, and graduations are all in the cards. But it can also be stressful and upsetting if you are prevented from taking part in the prom or graduation, or stopped from wearing what you want. These guidelines can help keep your happy memories of high school from being transformed into painful reminders of prejudice.

The First Amendment, constitutional guarantees of equality, and New Jersey’s Law Against Discrimination protect public school students’ rights to choose your prom date and what you wear.  You have the right to bring a same-sex date to the prom. o Public schools cannot require that your date be of the opposite sex. o You do not have to be gay to bring a date of your own sex. o You can’t be subject to different rules or standards based on the sex of your date. If there is a professional photographer taking prom portraits, feel free to get one.  Girls can wear tuxedos and boys can wear dresses to the prom. o Public schools can implement certain rules about what to wear at a prom, but they can’t be different for girls and boys. So, if you’re a boy, you have the right to wear a dress, but you still have to comply with school rules about formal wear or skirt length.  Public schools cannot have gender-based dress requirements for graduation. o Just like a prom, schools can’t enforce rules on what to wear based on gender.

Girls can’t be required to wear dresses under their graduation gowns and boys can’t be stopped from wearing dresses.  Yearbooks can’t be censored by removing photos of gay students or couples.  Other things to know: o You have the right not to be bullied or harassed.  Your school is required to have an anti-bullying policy in place and an effective way to handle complaints about bullying. o Students have the right to establish Gay-Straight Alliances.  If your school has other non-curricular clubs (like the Key Club or Drama Club), you can form a GSA. Blocking a GSA from forming or treating it differently from other non-curricular clubs is against the law.

You can find more prom-specific information at www.aclu.org/lgbtprom, and information about New Jersey students’ rights in the ACLU-NJ’s Students’ Rights Handbook: A guide for public school students in New Jersey. (www.aclu-nj.org/downloads/StudntsRightHandbk.pdf) Students at secular private schools may find some legal protections for what they wear and whom they bring to the prom under the Law Against Discrimination. If you experience discrimination at a private school’s prom, consult the ACLU-NJ, New Jersey Division on Civil Rights, or a private attorney.

If you run into any problems over these rights or are disciplined for how you express yourself, contact the ACLU-NJ at 973-642-2084 or www.aclu-nj.org.

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New School Is Fully Accredited for Gay Students

by Toby Grace

The online revolution has now reached out to help GLBT youth which are in need of rescue from intolerable high school environments. While many school systems around the country have awakened to the need to ensure a safe, nurturing learning situation for GLBT youth and a few have even gone so far as to create special schools, such as the Harvey Milk High School in New York, far too many still turn a blind eye to homophobic harassment and even penalize students for any display of minority sexual orientation. With a view to providing an alternative for such students, a group of experienced educators is launching the GLBTQ Online High School. The goal is not only creating a safe learning environment but also connecting young people to a much broader community.

Organized by David Glick, a 25-year veteran in the field of education who held the post of first coordinator of online education for the Minnesota Deptartment of Education, GLBTQ High has benefited from major donations of cutting-edge curriculum and learning tools. Christopher Gentile, CEO of FYI Online, agreed to provide GLBTQ Online High School with student access to all 78 of its online high school courses free of charge for 2 years; a donation valued at more than half a million dollars. “I am pleased to be able to give back to the GLBT community in this significant way,” said Gentile. “This is an important initiative, and I’m glad that the team is launching a school sensitive to the needs of GLBT youth. Together, we will help a lot of young people worldwide.” Gentile will also be joining the school’s Advisory Board. The National Repository of Online Courses (NROC) has donated 2 years of access to 30 college prep and advanced placement courses.

Glick envisioned a school that takes full advantage of the social networking habits of today’s youth. “Extracurricular clubs and organizations will be encouraged,” he says, “and summer camp and trips will also be part of the options so that students can actually meet in real time.” Glick pointed out that, with worldwide accessibility, local and regional get-togethers were certainly a possibility.

Over 100 applications for staff positions had already been received from educators eager to help make this dream a reality. Staff is being hired through a thorough background and professional vetting process, the same used by regular school systems, with a launch target of January 2010 for the school’s first semester.

Full information is available at www.glbtqonlinehighschool.com. Prospective students, staff, and donors are urged to get involved.

Reprinted with permission from Out In Jersey magazine and www.OutInJersey.net.

Toby Grace has been a GLBT activist for more than 40 years. He has been a teacher and mentor to young people most of his life, is a professional writer in his spare time, and is now semi-retired, and he and his partner reside in Trenton where he works part-time for the Mercer County College Resource Center. He has been the Senior Editor for Out In Jersey magazine since its inception in October 2002.

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Organizational Profile: New Jersey LGBT Cancer Support Group Anyone who has ever faced cancer—whether as a patient, caregiver, friend, or family member—knows all too well the many facets of this experience. The frequent doctor visits, medical tests, anxious waiting for results, learning new medical terminology, facing mounting medical bills, fighting for the best treatment, hoping for the best, and fearing and facing the worst are all aspects of what we often refer to, somewhat ruefully, as the “cancer experience.” In this respect, cancer does not discriminate. While it may vary with respect to type, treatment required, and, of course, outcome, the fact that it can replace predictability with uncertainty, normalcy with fear, is something everyone affected by it has experienced.

However, there are aspects of cancer that are often unique to lesbians, gay men, and bisexual and transgender individuals. Many of us face higher insurance costs and reduced access to early diagnosis and treatment. We often fear discrimination at the hands of medical practitioners who may not respect us (or our partners). We may face a lack of sensitivity and support at work and in our own families at the very moment when we most need them. Cancer, unfortunately, does not always mean those around us come to support and help us. All too often, it reveals the biases that lay dormant.

For all these reasons, we in the LGBT community face challenges unique to our own experience in a world that is often still hostile to us. This is the reason behind the creation of the New Jersey LGBT Cancer Support Group. For people in our community in New Jersey who have been diagnosed with cancer, are caring for or love someone who is fighting cancer, or who have lost someone to this disease, we offer an informal environment in which to share experiences, fears, struggles, hopes, and triumphs with others facing the same. While medical professionals help us on the clinical side and one-on-one talk therapy plays a helpful role, our group offers a way for people to share their experiences with others just like them with understanding, compassion, and respect for privacy.

The New Jersey LGBT Cancer Support Group meets on the second Friday of every month from 7:30 to 9:00pm at the Pride Center of New Jersey, 85 Raritan Avenue, Suite 100, Highland Park, NJ. Our web site is www.aegletes.com/NJLGBTCSG. We can be reached at njlgbtcsg@me.com and followed on Twitter at NJLGBTCSG. Our Facebook group is called NJ LGBT Cancer Support Group.

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The Fight For Equality Continues

by Jill R. Harris

In a nation built on the ideal that “...all men (and presumable women) are created equal” I find it mind-numbing that there are numerous segments of our population which still do not have basic civil rights. If you identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender then in many parts of our country you do not have the same rights as everyone else. That may seem fine to some people—at least to those who do not fall into these minority groups. However, I would like to make a critical point. Until ALL people have their civil rights protected, not just in their state but federally as well, then absolutely no one’s civil rights are safe. If we can look at one group and say they do not deserve the right to marry or to have a particular job and we fight to deny them these rights then who is to say our society will stop at that?

There was a time historically when African-Americans and women were denied the right to vote or own property. I can not imagine the uproar if enough narrowminded Americans banded together to take away those rights. And yet this is a conceivable occurrence if we allow it to happen to the LGBT community.

Right now the LGBT groups are fighting diligently to get the Employment NonDiscrimination Act (ENDA) passed in Congress but they continue to hit the road block of ignorance. In 29 states it is legal to fire a person based solely on their sexual orientation. In 38 states a person can be fired because they are transgender.

Why should anyone, especially during this economically difficult time, risk losing their job based on sexual orientation/gender identity? Being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender does not make you incompetent to hold down a job. They are not asking for special rights—simply equal protection under the law.

This was originally written in the fall of 2009 as a letter to the editor to be published in several newspapers. We reprint it here because the topic is still relevant.

Jill is the mother of two children and the love of my life. [Ed.]

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A Judge’s Good Deeds

by Melissa B. Brisman

Many months ago, a male same-sex couple came to me seeking my assistance in the filing of their adoption paperwork. The men were having twin children through the assistance of a surrogate and wanted to protect their legal rights to the children.

The twin children were created from two embryos—one embryo contained the sperm of one of the men and the other embryo contained the sperm of his partner. Each man was the biological father of one of the twins. The men chose not to complete DNA testing to determine the actual biological parentage of each child—they considered themselves a family and required no further evidence of it.

I advised them that it was in their best interest for both men to adopt both children. Neither man liked the idea of having to adopt their own biological child.

But their decision not to perform DNA testing and their inability to formalize their relationship through marriage made adoption the best option to protect their legal rights to the children. Although disappointed and angered that the law seemed to discriminate against them based on their sexuality, they accepted my advice.

It took time to collect the necessary paperwork and complete all the steps leading up to their final adoption hearing and, during that time, the men required reassurance that their adoption would not be denied due to their sexuality. I did the best I could to reassure them, although I can never guarantee that an adoption will be granted to either a heterosexual or homosexual couple until the day that it is finalized. Given their unique circumstances, the adoptions were not certain, but I had faith that the court could be convinced to honor their wishes and grant the adoptions.

Finally, the day of the finalization hearing arrived. I felt triumphant. In my eleven years of experience with adoptions, I am aware that a court is very unlikely to deny an adoption once a finalization hearing is scheduled. My clients, two neatly dressed men with two beautiful twin children, met me at the court roughly thirty minutes prior to the scheduled time of the hearing. As the time of the hearing approached, there appeared to be only one other family waiting and that family was called first.

My clients’ nervousness and uncertainly about the outcome of their adoptions remained, despite my reassurances, as they asked me if there was any significance to the other family going first. I indicated there was not, but the nervousness persisted. I was reminded that my clients have been living with this anxiety and uncertainty since the day these two beautiful babies were born, if not earlier.

Finally, their names were called. I followed my clients into a conference room, each of them carrying one of the twins. The judge was present in the room along with the court’s adoption clerk. The hearing began as I had anticipated and the adoptions were granted in short order. The judge was an older, Caucasian gentleman.

When the adoption paperwork was fully signed, the judge informed us that is was his custom to say a few words. Now that it was clear that their adoptions would be

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granted, my clients sat back in their chairs, relieved and somewhat more relaxed.

After eleven years, these hearings have become rather routine and rarely surprise me. But this judge’s words on this day distinguished this hearing from all others that I have attended over the years.

He complimented my clients on the names they have chosen for the children.

This made my clients smile and they thanked him for the compliment. “This was not an empty compliment,” explained the judge. “Words have meaning,” he said.

If they had chosen names he considered questionable, although the decision was ultimately that of the adoptive parents in the end, he would have wanted to discuss the point with them. A name, he believed, can determine a person’s destiny.

Next, the judge did something that I consider courageous. He spoke about gay marriage. He acknowledged what was unspoken in the room, that these men could not legally marry each other in New York and that they completed these adoptions because it was the best they could do to protect their family given the existing state of the law. The judge stated that marriage was an expression of love and that denying these men, or any individuals, the freedom to marry who they chose evidenced a lack of humanity. His willingness to acknowledge this injustice, I believe, was a moment of validation and healing for my clients. I wonder whether the judge understood this.

The judge ended with an instruction to my clients on the awesome responsibility they have accepted through their adoptions. The judge described a world of dualities—black and white, right and wrong, and good and evil—and instructed my clients that it was their responsibility to protect their children against the evils in the world as best that they could. This is a parent’s most important responsibility.

The judge believed, as I believe, that language has tremendous power and significance. He chose his words with care and spoke with precision. His words were a gift—they acknowledged my clients’ sense of injustice and provided a moment of healing. At the same time, the words emphasized the importance of the moment and celebrated it. For me, his words were a reminder that good acts still take place in the courtroom and how privileged I am to assist in making these acts possible.

Melissa B. Brisman is an attorney who practices exclusively in the field of reproductive law. She employs an experienced and qualified staff of legal and administrative professionals and is licensed to practice law in Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania. Ms. Brisman has a practice, Melissa B. Brisman, Esq., LLC, located in Montvale, New Jersey, offering a full range of legal services in connection with gestational carrier arrangements, ovum, sperm, and embryo donation, and adoption. In addition, Ms. Brisman is sole owner of Reproductive Possibilities, LLC, an agency that facilitates gestational carrier arrangements, and Surrogate Fund Management, LLC, a company that manages escrow in connection with reproductive arrangements.

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k.d. lang: Recollection [Deluxe]

by Steve Phillips

The first thing I thought after listening to this 3-CD and 1-DVD boxed set was, “superb material with excellent remastering… can we have the complete boxed set now, please?” From 1987’s Angel With a Lariat, k.d. lang’s American debut album, up to her singing “Hallelujah” at the XXI Olympic Winter Games Opening Ceremony, I found myself (as you will be asking about your own personal favorites), where is “Pullin’ Back the Reins” from Absolute Torch and Twang? Where is “Lock, Stock and Teardrops,” along with other classics from Shadowland? The gorgeous “Still Thrives This Love” and “Save Me,” from Ingenue are nowhere to be found, nor are the astonishingly beautiful “Infinite and Unforeseen” and “If I Were You,” from All You Can Eat. Instead of the admittedly more dramatic Dionne Warwick’s “Theme From ‘Valley of the Dolls’” and “Till the Heart Caves In” from Drag, we get “Smoke Rings,” and The Hollies’ “The Air That I Breathe,” which proves that when Miss lang covers a song, even definitive versions, she makes them her very own on a par with the originals, no easy feat and a truly rare gift indeed. There are also a few excellent neglected tracks from 2000’s Invincible Summer, 2004’s Hymns of the 49th Parallel, and her stunning return with 2008’s Watershed.

The reason I mention all of those favorites is because the 3 music discs have a lot more room to accommodate at least some of my favorites. Disc 1 clocks in at a mere 47:14; Disc 2 at 48:47; and the live bonus disc at only 42:09. I don’t normally time CDs, but when another 100 minutes of music could have been added to this already excellent set from one of our all-time favorite singers, it is hard not to question why many more favorites could have been added but were not. The inclusion of a new version of “Hallelujah” with more orchestration seemed extraneous in my opinion, potentially adding even more time to Disc 2.

There are a few gems to be found here, such as “Golden Slumbers/The End,” from the 2006 movie Happy Feet, as well as Miss lang’s contribution of “So in Love,” from the 1990 Red Hot + Blue AIDS benefit tribute to Cole Porter CD. k.d.’s gorgeous, ethereal duet with fellow Canadian Jane Siberry’s, “Calling All Angels,” is here, which appeared on Jane’s 1993 still amazing When I Was a Boy CD, as are k.d.’s reverent and beautifully done versions of Siberry’s “The Valley” (if only they would have done a harmony vocal on this beauty), and “Love Is Everything” (on the DVD only), both from Hymns of the 49th Parallel.

There is also one new song, “Beautifully Combined” (2:41); though brief in length, the lyrics are excellent (as usual). There is also a duet with Tony Bennett on “Moonglow,” and her memorably poignant duet with Roy Orbison on “Crying.”

Getting to the really good stuff, the 3rd live bonus disc is worth the price of this version of Recollection. The first three are studio tracks (nice to see “Skylark,” from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil here). On the remaining live tracks, Miss lang and her band really shine, especially on “Wash Me Clean,” where, at the end, she sings, “cleanse my tarnished dreams,” holding “dreams” for what seems like an eternity, but is actually 16 seconds of pure, vocal heaven. It’s also great to hear a terrific, upbeat version of “I Dream of Spring.”

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The DVD is excellent, by the way, with the 11 videos ranging from cool, fun, campy, kitchy, sensuous, poignant, and the last two songs, “Hallelujah” and “Helpless,” live from the 2005 Juno Awards. While there is a 2-CD release of Recollection featuring k.d.’s greatest hits only, the remastered songs, live CD, DVD, booklet and very well thought out, elegant packaging all combine to make this the definitive version of Recollection to own. Major kudos to Ben Mink, as her fellow lyricist and band member since her career began, as well as to the long-time collaborators in her band.

There are only two things that are disappointing to me. The first is that I’ve never been to one of Miss lang’s concerts, and after hearing her sing “The Right to Love,” which I’m sure (or would hope), is a concert staple for her, I am saddened that I will probably never get to hear those poignant lyrics and the incredible jazz piano accompaniment with her soaring and passionate vocals in person. The second is that Miss lang is one of the most deserving, finest artists/vocalists ever, and truly deserves to have a more comprehensive and complete boxed set, with many more of her timeless, older songs remastered (it’s time… it has been more than 20 years!), along with more rarities, CD-single mixes and many guest vocals on other albums, soundtracks, and compilations she has done.

Some of these fabulous older songs include her duet of Joni Mitchell’s “River” with Madeleine Peyroux from Peyroux’s 2006 Half the Perfect World; “What a Wonderful World” and “Dream a Little Dream of Me,” her duets with Tony Bennett from their 2002 duet album; and two personal favorites, Carter Burwell conducting an achingly beautiful intro and accompaniment to Miss lang’s superb version of “Secret Love,” (never before released on any CD, from the end credits of the outstanding 2001 DVD documentary, The Celluloid Closet), and her heavenly duet on the title track of Bruce Roberts’ 1995 CD, Intimacy, to name only a few. I’m aware that in some cases there are licensing issues, but in any case, the fans are the ones who suffer.

While I will admit this technically is an excellent “boxed set” for starters, it would have been great to see Recollection reach the full potential this set was truly capable of.

And that’s a compliment of the highest order. All this, along with the extensive variety of songs in Miss lang’s repertoire, and those yet to come (not to mention the incredibly remarkable way she sings them), prove that where she is concerned, it just doesn’t get any better. To bring so much joy to so many with the power or subtlety of a lyric, sometimes both in one, is truly an amazing gift. If you don’t already own this, I highly recommend it!

Steve Phillips has always been a friendly, gregarious music lover with an eclectic vinyl and CD collection (more than 1,500 LPs and more than 7,500 CDs) of every type of music, and enjoys all genres of music. He also enjoys photography and is taking a course in digital photography so he can figure out how to use all the features on his camera!

He also enjoys writing and has written several reviews, He would like to try writing on a free-lance basis and well as breaking into the voice-over field.

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PFLAG Is Just for Parents, Right?

by Randy Kowalik

PFLAG is that group of parents you see marching at every Gay Pride Celebration. You probably first noticed us when our group came marching by and entire groups of people gave us thunderous applause or cheers or blew kisses, and some cried. Our chapter has even had members of the GLBTI community occasionally run over and ask some of our parents to adopt them.

It is nearly impossible to think of PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) without associating the group with the “coming out” process and how the parents are helped in getting through this process when their child first tells them the truth about their sexual orientation.

When you first tell your parents, they can have some very mixed feelings and lots of questions. The questions are always similar, so they are presented here: Will my child be happy? Will he/she be bullied, ostracized, or ridiculed? Will other members of our family accept him/her? Will my child still be welcome in our faith communities? Will I ever have grandchildren? Is it my fault that my child is not heterosexual? Is it my spouse’s fault? What place will my child have in society?

There are obviously many more questions parents have because they feel that it is every parent’s right to worry!

Since this is a younger and smarter generation of parents than we had when PFLAG of North Jersey started back in 1982, the worries are often more focused on legal, safety, and health issues. Added to those universal concerns common to every parent, there are suddenly more concerns when the child comes out.

Whether parents handle it well, fairly well, fairly poorly or with hostility… we still can admit that their role as parents has given them a full plate!

PFLAG exists to help parents (and families and friends) understand the GLBTI child better. It’s an educational resource which provides a safe place to speak freely about their feelings and emotions—among other parents who have also shared the same or very similar journeys.

In recent years, many chapters (our own included) have failed to get the word out that our meetings are also for GLBTI youth! Many of our teenagers realize their sexual orientation, or decide to come to terms with it, at much earlier ages. There are also a growing number of adolescents who are not precisely sure how physically attracted they are to people of the same or opposite gender. It can put them in a relatively new category which has become known as “bi-curious.” Where can these young people go? Where do they turn as they wrestle with telling their parents how they feel? Friends may betray them or just completely misunderstand, and many schools are not fortunate enough to have a Gay-Straight Alliance where they can sort out their conflicting thoughts with others who understand.

One of the least-known facts about PFLAG is that we welcome teenagers at our meetings! It’s a place where the young person can speak out about his/her feelings and receive feedback and love and hope from our parents and from other young

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people who attend our meetings. Here, help is given on all the considerations involved in coming out to families and friends. It usually is not easy for us to come out, but we generally make the decision after much thought and angst. At PFLAG, we give you the opportunity to build a support system and prepare the way for telling your parents. After all, it is going to come to them as a bolt out of the blue in most situations. PFLAG will then be a support system to them and to you.

PFLAG of North Jersey (the first NJ chapter) meets on the second Thursday of each month at 7:30pm at the First Presbyterian and Trinity Church at 111 Irvington Ave. in South Orange. Our helpline number is 908-789-7489.

My mother, June C. Kowalik, was one of the founding members of PFLAG in NJ and the only one who kept attending the meetings over a period of almost thirty years. She passed away, at the age of almost 85, on Feb. 27, 2010, leaving a fairly recent note that she wanted to be wearing the “I’m a PFLAG Mom” button for her viewing. She believed that she had done much less for the group in her “golden” years, and she wanted the button to make a parting statement. Our national mission statement centers on Support, Education, and Advocacy. I am forever grateful to my mom for demonstrating these core values all the days of her life.

It conclusion, it is interesting to note that my mom was a Roman Catholic right to the end. She spoke up for the rights of gay people, the place of women in the church, the need to end mandatory celibacy, the reproductive rights of choice, and the wisdom of being a “cafeteria” Catholic.

I dedicate this article to my mom for many reasons, but the most important reason is that this 4'10", 103-pound woman can serve as an example that we can never actually guess how militant a parent can become when the issues focus on their own child!

When you decide to come out to your parents, remember that “Mama-June” (as she was called) will be looking down on you, putting a good word in with the God of all our understandings!

Randy Kowalik resides in Dunellen, NJ, and had worked for Gannett Newspapers for 16 years before being laid off several years ago. He has been a board member of PFLAG of North Jersey almost since its inception—back when PFLAG was just “Parents of Gays.” He has also served as their newsletter editor.

On occasion, he has substituted on the helpline, and he is available to confidentially talk to young people about coming out issues. At your request, he will return your calls via the helpline. He has written on the absolute need for change in the Catholic church and chooses to remain as an advocate of a return to the reform started by the Blessed Pope John XXIII. [See the Organizations section for more PFLAG groups in New Jersey. —Ed.]

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Organizational Profile: Jersey Lyfe

by DeAnn Cox

Jersey Lyfe is a non-profit organization geared towards uplifting the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, intersexed, and queer community in New Jersey and surrounding areas, including Pennsylvania, Maryland, New York, and Delaware.

Jersey Lyfe also keeps its members in touch with events going on in the surrounding states.

Both our networking and social events are geared toward assisting New Jerseybased businesses and organizations to become more productive in hopes of encouraging more self-serving communities, expanding businesses through social and professional connections, and boosting overall community morale. All of the events that we host feature local business sponsors and their products enable a type of three-for-one action in which local businesses are actively promoted, funds are raised for the development and support of other non-profit organizations, and, most importantly, funds are allocated toward free community events focusing on youth development and social awareness. Jersey Lyfe and our affiliate corporations share a special interest in assisting organizations who seek to uplift urban communities and all youth regardless of location, nationality, creed, race, ethnicity, and sexual orientation.

Jersey Lyfe possesses one essential purpose, which is to unite the communities of Southern New Jersey into one economically and socially influential force. This year is the third annual Southern New Jersey GLBTIQ Pride Festival! Join us on September 12, 2010 from 12:00 noon until dusk in Cherry Hill’s historical Cooper River Park. Stay informed about additional events posted on our website or join our mailing list and receive In the Lyfe Newsletter where everything is gay ! In the Lyfe Newsletter was established two years ago and distributed to hundreds of New Jersey’s GLBTIQ community members to keep them in touch with everything gay in New Jersey and surrounding areas. Imagine gay news, singles and want ads, volunteer opportunities, events, and more delivered confidentially to your home completely free ! Find out more about us at www.JerseyLyfe.org. Help spread Pride across the Garden State!

DeAnn Cox is the founder and director of Jersey Lyfe. She is a full-time student majoring in business administration and marketing and enjoys owning and operating her own small marketing firm in SNJ. DeAnn isn’t just brains but also beauty. She is a part-time print, runway, and promotional model. She’s also the National Recruitment Director of Beta Phi Omega Sorority, Inc., which is a community service-oriented organization for lesbians. DeAnn regularly volunteers at DVLF, MANNA, SHARE Food Program, The Ronald McDonald House, William Way Center, Philadelphia Prides, Kid’s Alley, the annual March of Dimes, Breast Cancer, AIDS Walks, and more. DeAnn loves relaxing with friends, listening to music, and writing poetry.

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$1.98 Beauty Pageant Monday, September 20, 2010 at 8pm

Join us at GAAMC for a fun evening of great performances by local talent to rival those of American Idol.

Suggested door donation: $4 for GAAMC members,$6 for non-members.

All are welcome to attend and participate in this event!

For more information e-mail Info@GAAMC.org, visit our website www.GAAMC.org, or see us Monday nights at the Morristown Unitarian Fellowship 21 Normandy Heights Road, Morristown, NJ

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GAAMC and Other Events 2010: Monday, May 17 , 8:00pm. GAAMC Personal Summer Safety with Terry Bogorad.

Monday, May 24 , 8:00pm. GAAMC Film Festival: Boondock Saints .

Monday, May 31 , 7:00pm. GAAMC’s annual Memorial Day BBQ Social.

Friday, June 4. Jersey’s Pride Weekend starts in Asbury Park. www.jerseypride.org.

Sunday, June 6, 11:00 – 7:00pm. NJ’s 19 th Annual GLBTI Pride Celebration. March behind the GAAMC banner in the Parade! Come visit our table at the Festival!

Monday, June 7 , 8:00pm. GAAMC. 45+ and Discussion Group Showcase.

Friday, June 11 , 8:00pm. Princeton, NJ. New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus. See page 40.

Saturday, June 12, 8:00pm. Neptune, NJ. New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus. See page 40.

Sunday, June 13, 11:30am – 5pm. Gay Pride Rockland, www.gaypriderockland.org.

Monday, June 14, 7:00pm. GAAMC. Pride Social.

Sat, June 19 – Sun, 27 . New York City Pride Week 2010, including Rally, March, Festival, and two Dances on the Pier. www.nycpride.org.

Monday, June 21, 8:00pm. GAAMC. Lively Arts Series: Storyteller Tim Tyler.

Saturday, June 26, 5:00pm. Garden State Equality Legends Awards Dinner.

Maplewood Country Club. www.gardenstateequality.org.

Sunday, June 27, Noon. The 41 st Annual GLBT Pride March. Kickoff at 5 th Ave and 52 nd St. down 5 th Ave, ending at Christopher and Greenwich Streets. Come march with GAAMC! Monday, June 28, 8:00pm. GAAMC. Dr. Lisa Explains It All To You. See page 82.

Monday, July 5 , 7:00pm. GAAMC’s annual Independence Day Ice Cream Social.

Monday, July 12, 8:00pm. GAAMC. Film Festival: Aimee & Jaguar.

Monday, July 19, 8:00pm. Green Earth Ministry – Morristown Unitarian Fellowship.

Monday, July 26, 8:00pm. GAAMC. Gayme Night.

Monday, August 2 , 8:30pm. GAAMC. Lively Arts Series: Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey’s Next Stage Ensemble performs As You Like It. Monday, August 16, 8:00pm. GAAMC. Fresh Perspectives Retreat Discussion.

Monday, August 23, 8:00pm. GAAMC. Film Festival Sing-A-Long!: Hairspray (?)

Saturday, August 28, Noon – 8:00pm. JCLGO’s Tenth Annual Pride Festival.

“Standing Strong: Equality For All” Downtown Jersey City. Jersey City Lesbian and Gay Outreach. www.jclgo.org. See page 40.

Monday, August 30, 8:00pm. GAAMC’s Chorus – Broadway Backwards.

Monday, September 6 , 7:00pm. GAAMC’s annual Labor Day Social.

Sunday, September 12 , noon – dusk. Third annual Southern New Jersey GLBTIQ Pride Festival. Cherry Hill’s historical Cooper River Park. See page 32.

Monday, September 13, 7:30pm. GAAMC’s 38th Anniversary.

Monday, September 20, 8:30pm. GAAMC special program. Annual $1.98 Beauty Pageant. You don’t want to miss this spectacular extravaganza! Contestants compete in three categories: Casual Wear, Talent/No Talent, and Formal Wear. See page 40.

Monday, September 27, 8:30pm. GAAMC. Share Your Passions: Aromatherapy with Ellen Castell & Janine Ringier.

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Thursday, September 30. All GAAMC memberships expire. Renew early.

See centerfold.

Monday, October 4 , 8:30pm. GAAMC. Gayme Night.

Monday, October 11. National Coming Out Day (NCOD). Come Out! Come Out ! Wherever you are!

Monday, October 18, 8:00pm. GAAMC. Cutting Edge Issues: Family Formation and Protection in the 21st Century with Bill Singer. See page 57.

Monday, October 25, 7:00pm. GAAMC’s annual Halloween Social.

Monday, November 1 , 8:00pm. GAAMC. Film Festival: TBA Monday, November 8 , 8:00pm. GAAMC. Lively Arts Series: TBA Saturday, November 20 . Transgender Day of Remembrance. Find NJ’s DoR events

listed at www.princeton.edu/lgbt/events.

Monday, November 22, 7:00pm. GAAMC gives thanks. Annual Thanksgiving Social.

Monday, November 29, 8:00pm. GAAMC. World AIDS Day Memorial Observance.

Saturday, December 1 . World AIDS Day. Wear a Red Ribbon. See page 48.

Monday, December 6 , 8:00pm. GAAMC Elections + Winter Concert, GAAMC Ensemble.

Monday, December 13, 8:00pm. GAAMC. Holiday Show with Mr. Scarlett O’Hara.

Monday, December 20, 7:00pm. GAAMC. Holiday Social.

Monday, December 27, 8:00pm. GAAMC. Film Festival: a Holiday themed movie.

Friday, December 31. Pride Guide 2011 Early bird Deadline. See centerfold.

2011: Monday, January 3, 8:00pm. GAAMC. Fresh Perspectives Retreat Discussion.

Monday, February 14, 7:30pm. GAAMC’s annual Valentine’s Day Social.

Tuesday, March 1. Regular deadline for Pride Guide 2011 . See centerfold.

March is Sex Month at GAAMC! Monday, May 30, 7:30pm. GAAMC’s annual Memorial Day Social.

Friday, June 3 . Jersey’s Pride Weekend starts in Asbury Park. www.jerseypride.org.

Sunday, June 5, 11:00am – 7:00pm. NJ’s 20th Annual GLBTI Pride Celebration. March behind the GAAMC banner in the Parade! Come visit our table at the Festival!

Monday, July 4, 7:00pm. GAAMC’s annual Independence Day Ice Cream Social.

Monday, August 1, 8:30pm. GAAMC. Lively Arts Series: Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey.

Monday, September 5, 7:00pm. GAAMC’s annual Labor Day Social.

This calendar was as accurate as possible at press time.

Please check with the venue to make sure the schedule has not changed. Not available at press time are the specific dates or titles of some Film Festival showings and Lively Arts Series. GAAMC’s program listings are updated at www.gaamc.org/programs.html.

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Pride Guide Editor’s Notes

by Sue Harris

Welcome to the Pride Guide 2010: A Guide to Gay New Jersey. This Guide, published in May 2010, is GAAMC’s 28th edition. Here are some notes to help you use the Guide more effectively: ➢ Listings are in this order: Personal and/or business name; Address, City, State, ZIP; Phone; Fax; e-mail; web page; Description; Page reference to display ad. Not all listings will have all elements. ➢ If there is no designation before a phone number, it’s a voice line. ➢ Academic organizations are listed in the Youth section under the name of the college or university where they are located, even if they are not official groups. ➢ If a URL begins with the common “www.” that’s how it will be listed.

For URLs not beginning with “www.” the full URL (including “http://”) will be listed. ➢ If you find an incorrect listing, please let us know. I’m sure it was accurate at press time, but you know how e-mail addresses and URLs come and go so quickly around here. ➢ Member organizations of the New Jersey Lesbian and Gay Coalition available at press time are identified with an asterisk (*). www.njlgc.org

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ADOPTION + + +

See also Surrogacy

+ + +

Families Like Ours ; PO Box 2311, Seattle, WA 98111; 877-230-3055; www.familieslikeours.org; The only national independent 501(c)3 non-profit Adoption Exchange, connecting you to a network of adoption resources, support, education, and advocacy since October 2000. See ad below.

Independent Adoption Center (IAC) ; www.adoptionhelp.org; IAC is the preeminent open adoption agency in the U.S. IAC is a counseling-based, licensed, non-profit agency founded in 1982.

Thinking About Adoption?

877-230-3055 â—? www.FamiliesLikeOurs.org A National Community Resource Devoted to the Needs & Support of Gay and Lesbian Adoptive Families

A N I M A L C O M PA N I O N S Golden Re-Triever Rescue, Inc ; 973-208-7414; info@grrinj.org; www.grrinj.org; An all-volunteer non-profit organization dedicated to rescuing and placing golden retrievers throughout New Jersey.

Mt. Pleasant Animal Shelter ; 194 Route 10 West, (behind PetSmart), East Hanover, NJ 07936; 973-386-0590; info@njshelter.org; www.njshelter.org; Open for dog and cat adoptions Tuesday through Sunday. Please visit us online to see our adoptable animals!

Seer Farms; PO Box 91, Jackson, NJ 08527; 732-928-1804; info@seerfarms.org; www.seerfarms.org; A People-Centered Animal Sanctuary... keeping families together and animals safe.

A R T S /P H O T O G R A P H Y Art Space of New Jersey ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Life Drawing Group, focused on a nude model in various poses. All artists, as well as models, are welcome. All skill levels are welcome to attend. Cost is $5. Meets at PCNJ the 3 rd Thursday, 7 to 9:30pm.

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C O M P U T E R /T E C H N O L O G Y

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C O M P U T E R /T E C H N O L O G Y Janet Penn Consulting, LLC ; 101 East Main St, Building 13, Little Falls, NJ 07424; 973-890-9191; Fax: 973-890-9197; president@janetpennconsulting.com; www.janetpennconsulting.com; We provide Internet marketing, online advertising, and website design. With more than 25 years experience, we are skilled in all media. Our aim is to make your business more profitable! See ad on page 38.

E N T E R TA I N M E N T /E V E N T S Tony Enos; Philadelphia, PA 19148; 267-977-9879; lilt_entertainment_llc@yahoo.com; www.myspace.com/tonyenos; “DID IT RITE”, Tony’s sexy debut album is available now at cdbaby.com & iTunes!

Equality Forum; 1420 Locust St, Suite 300, Philadelphia, PA 19102-4202; 215-732-3378; info@equalityforum.com; www.equalityforum.com; The annual Equality Forum in Philadelphia is the largest annual and premiere national and international GLBT civil rights forum. The week-long event, ending the first Sunday in May, features more than 50 programs, parties, and special events, including SundayOUT!, the area’s largest GLBT street festival.

J a d e E s t e b a n E s t r a d a ; PO Box 240212, San Antonio, TX 78224; 646-342-8647; jade@getjaded.com; www.getjaded.com; Singer/comedian Jade Esteban Estrada has been called “The Prince of Pride” (NBC News) and “the first gay Latin star” (Out Magazine). He has appeared on “30 Rock” and hosted the 19 th Annual South Florida GLAAD Media Awards. He tours 14 solo shows around North America including his famed “ICONS: The Lesbian and Gay History of the World, Vol. 1-4.”

FOREPLAY 2010 ; NJ info@4playnj.com; www.4playnj.com; Leather, Bear, Kink Block Party - Sat, June 5, 2010, Asbury Park, NJ - A Block Party Created by Our Community, for Our Community!

The Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey’s

Next Stage Ensemble Presents William Shakespeare’s

As You Like It At GAAMC on Monday, August 2, 2010 at 8:00pm 21 Normandy Heights Road, Morristown, NJ 07960

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E N T E R TA I N M E N T /E V E N T S * Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County ; $1.98 Beauty Pageant; info@gaamc.org; www.gaamc.org; Monday, Sep.20, 2010. 8pm. Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, 21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960. See ad on page 33.

Heritage of Pride, Inc ; 154 Christopher St, Suite 1D, New York, NY 10014; 212-80-PRIDE (212-807-7433); www.nycpride.org; Heritage of Pride organizes Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride events in New York City to commemorate and celebrate the Stonewall Riots. Pride Week 2010: June 19-27.

41st anniversary of Stonewall this year. * Jersey City Lesbian + Gay Outreach, Inc (JCLGO) ; 32 Jones St, Suite 303, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201-333-5725; info@jclgo.org; www.jclgo.org; A non-profit, all-volunteer organization dedicated to being a vital voice in Jersey City that brings the GLBTI community together. Produces Jersey City’s Annual GLBTI Pride Festival in August. Jersey City Pride 2010 will be held Saturday, August 28. See ad on page 41.

Jersey Lyfe; PO Box 113, Stratford, NJ 08084; info@jerseylyfe.org; www.jerseylyfe.org; Stay in touch with everything gay in Southern NJ & the TriState area! Sign-up to receive In The Lyfe Newsletter completely FREE & confidential! Also, remember Southern NJ GLBTIQ Pride is September 2010!

Check our website for more details! Donations are welcomed...every penny counts. Thank you for your support & continue to help spread pride across the Garden State. See article on page 32. * Jersey Pride, Inc ; PO Box 10796, New Brunswick, NJ 08906; (732) 21-GAY-NJ (732-214-2965); info@jerseypride.org; www.jerseypride.org; The all-volunteer organization that produces NJ’s Annual Statewide Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Intersexed Pride Celebration the 1 st weekend in June in Asbury Park (Saturday and Sunday, June 5 & 6, 2010). JPI is committed to increasing the visibility of, and promoting the well-being of NJ’s GLBTI community through annual pride events, year-round fundraising efforts, and production of the critically acclaimed magazine, The Jersey Gaze. See ad on page 42.

New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus ; PO Box 21, Princeton, NJ 08542; 732579-8449; info@njgmc.org; www.njgmc.org; The New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus is a volunteer four-part men’s chorus (TTBB) drawing from communities in Central NJ and Eastern PA. The chorus has been thrilling audiences for 19 years with a repertoire as diverse as the passionate and talented men and women who comprise our singing and non-singing members. We celebrate diversity through music, which unites us all in purpose and spirit. Rehearsals are on Monday nights from 7:30 to 10:00 at the Nassau Presbyterian Church in Princeton. Rehearsals run from September through early June. See ad on page 43.

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E N T E R TA I N M E N T /E V E N T S New Jersey Leather Weekend ; DragonslairProd@aol.com; www.LeatherNJOnline.com; Mr. and Ms. New Jersey Leather Contest produced

by Dragonslair Productions, Inc, is held each year on the third weekend in October. In 2010, the contest will be held on Saturday, Oct. 16, at Paradise in Asbury Park, NJ. New Jersey Ride Against AIDS ; PO Box 127, Bradley Beach, NJ 07720; 732-988-6593; www.njrideagainstaids.org; The New Jersey Ride Against AIDS is a three-day bicycling event that benefits New Jersey AIDS charities. The next ride is set for Sep. 24 - 26, 2010. The ride begins at High Point State Park in beautiful northwest New Jersey and concludes in the charming, Victorian town of Cape May at the southernmost point of the state. The length of the ride is approximately 250 miles.

Olympia’s Daughters ; olympias@olympiasdaughters.info; www.olympiasdaughters.info; A women’s a cappella choir that builds bridges between communities and cultures through song.

Out of the Box: the open mic for all folks ; outoftheboxinfo@mac.com; www.pandorascooter.com; Music, hip hop, comedy, poetry or songs shared with a warm-hearted and supportive audience. Everyone is welcome—listeners and sharers alike. Sponsored by the Pride Center of New Jersey (85 Raritan Ave, Highland Park, NJ). Location of the Open Mic (different from PCNJ): 19-21 South 2nd Avenue, Highland Park, NJ. Third Friday of every month. 8:00 to 10:30pm.

Princeton University LGBT Center ; lgbt@princeton.edu; www.princeton.edu/lgbt; Thursday, Nov.18, 7:30pm. International Transgender Day of Remembrance Service; Princeton University Chapel; Please join us as we gather for a moving ceremony to remember and honor all those who have been killed as a result of anti-transgender bigotry, hatred, and violence. Sponsored by Garden State Equality, Gender Rights Advocacy Association of New Jersey (GRAANJ), the Princeton University LGBT Center, Office of Religious Life, and Women’s Center.

Scots Guards & Rampant Lion Bands of NJ ; 202 Jamestown Rd, Basking Ridge, NJ 07920; 908-285-1503; david_palladino@yahoo.com; www.sgrlbands.com; Scottish military-style community band. Bagpipes and Scottish snare taught at weekly lessons for the pipe band. Brass, woodwinds, and percussion are welcome to perform in wind band. All are welcome to participate. Tuesday evenings, 6-8pm, VA Lyons Campus, Building 5 Auditorium, Basking Ridge.

Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey ; 36 Madison Ave, Madison, NJ 07940; 973-408-5600; BoxOffice@ShakespeareNJ.org; www.shakespearenj.org; The Shakespeare Theater is one of the leading Shakespeare theaters in the nation and New Jersey’s only professional theater company dedicated to Shakespeare’s canon and other classic masterworks. Through its productions and education programs, the company strives to illuminate the universal and lasting relevance of the classics for contemporary audiences. See ad on page 39.

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E N T E R TA I N M E N T /E V E N T S

Save the Date Gay Pride Rockland Sunday, June 13, 2010 Visit our website at www.gaypriderockland.org q Directory of LGBT* Friendly Businesses and Community Organizations q Check out Gay Pride Rockland events held throughout the year! q Post your LGBT* friendly event to the free Community Events Calendar q Become an online Directory advertiser *Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender

VCS Gay Pride Rockland • 77 South Main Street, New City, NY 10956 845-634-5729 • gpr@vcs-inc.org

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E N T E R TA I N M E N T /E V E N T S The Theater Project ; Union County College, 1033 Springfield Ave, Cranford, NJ 07016; 908-659-5189; TheaterProject@aol.com; www.TheTheaterProject.org; Union County College’s Professional Theater Company. See ad on page 45.

VCS Gay Pride Rockland, An Event for Everyone ; VCS Inc; 77 S Main St, New City, NY 10956; 845-634-5729; Fax: 845-634-7839; gpr@vcs-inc.org; www.gaypriderockland.org; Sunday, June 13, 2010, Riverspace Parking Lot, 119 Main St, Nyack, NY. Family Friendly, Children’s Activities, FREE. See ad on page 45.

F I N A N C I A L /I N S U R A N C E Anne Freid-Lefton, EA, “The Tax Gal”; PO Box 231, Parlin, NJ 08859; 732-257-0431; Fax: 732-257-7574; anne@thetaxgal.com; www.thetaxgal.com; Taxes prepared and multi-state specialist. Financial planning and electronic filing as well.

Enrolled to practice before the IRS. See ad on page 25.

New Jersey Society of CPAs Help Center ; 425 Eagle Rock Ave, Suite 100, Roseland, NJ 07068-1723; 973-226-4494; www.moneymattersnj.com; Did you, a friend, or family member recently lose a home to a fire, suffer domestic abuse or endure some other personal crisis? Do you have a spouse who’s overseas serving in the military? The New Jersey Society of CPAs Help Center website resources are available to offer assistance during challenging financial times.

Primerica; Gary Wyssling; 101 Round Hill Dr, Rockaway, NJ 07866; 973627-3630; LM177@Primerica.com; We are looking for entrepreneurs to work part time or full time in a Financial Services company helping people find the solutions to their financial goals. Call for a complimentary financial needs analysis. Find out the rules of money!

Steven W. Schmitt , CFP®, MBA, Vice President – Investment Officer, Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisorsm; Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, 51 JFK Parkway, 4th Floor, Short Hills, NJ 07078; 973-564-6997; steven.schmitt@WFadvisors.com.

Eileen M. Shrem, Independent Insurance Planner; 215 McCabe Ave, Suite C1, Bradley Beach, NJ 07720; 732-988-7256; Fax: 732-988-3009; emshrem@your-friend-in-insurance.com; www.your-friend-in-insurance.com; To learn about the discount on auto insurance by taking the online NJ State approved safety course, go to my website. Truly your friend in the insurance business.

Kevin P. Suszko ; PO Box 701, Short Hills, NJ 07078; 973-376-4121; Fax: 973-921-0061; KPSCPA@gmail.com; Certified Public Accountant. See ad inside front cover.

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F I N A N C I A L /I N S U R A N C E Kyle D. Young , CFP®, Associate Vice President – Investment Officer, Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisorsm; Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, 51 JFK Parkway, 4th Floor, Short Hills, NJ 07078; 973-564-6983; Kyle.Young@WFadvisors.com.

H E L P /I N F O R M AT I O N L I N E S GLBT National Hotline ; a program of the GLBT National Help Center; 2261 Market St, PMB #296, San Francisco, CA 94114; 888-THE-GLNH (888843-4564); info@GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org; www.GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org; Offering free and confidential information, local resources, and peer-counseling.

GLBT National Youth Talkline ; a program of the GLBT National Help Center; 2261 Market St, PMB #296, San Francisco, CA 94114; 800-246-PRIDE (800-246-7743); Youth@GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org; www.YouthTalkline.org; Offering free and confidential information, local resources, and peer-counseling to those ages 25 and younger.

New Jersey Self-Help Group Clearinghouse ; 375 E. McFarlan St, Dover, NJ 07801-3638; 800-FOR-MASH (800-367-6274); www.NJgroups.org; Helps persons find or form all types of self-help groups for abuse, addiction, bereavement, disability, health, mental health, family, caregivers, and more.

New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project Hotline ; 240 West 35th St, Suite 200, New York, NY 10001; 212-714-1141; www.avp.org; LGBT hotline for reporting sexual assault, domestic violence, bias crimes, or other crises. * PFLAG-Bergen County ; PO Box 1330, Ridgewood, NJ 07450; 201-2870318; info@BergenPFLAG.org; www.BergenPFLAG.org; We provide a safe, friendly space where parents and loved ones can voice their concerns about GLBT issues. Meets at Temple Beth-Or, 56 Ridgewood Rd, Washington Township, on the 3rd Tuesday of each month, 8-10pm; Newcomers, 7:30pm.

PFLAG-Jersey Shore ; 1681 Ridgeway Rd. (Route 571), Toms River, NJ 08757; 908-814-2155; jspflag@gmail.com; www.jerseyshorepflag.org; Meetings monthly in 2 sites. Monmouth County: 2nd Mon. 7-9pm, Church House of Presbyterian Church, 352 Sycamore Ave, Shrewsbury, NJ 07702. Directions: http://tpcas.org/html/directions. Ocean County: 2nd Wed. 7-9pm, 1681 Ridgeway Rd. (Route 571), Toms River, NJ 08757. Directions: See www.tomsriverucc.org.

Not affiliated with any religion.

Trevor Project ; 9056 Santa Monica Blvd, Suite 208, West Hollywood, CA 90069; 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386); info@thetrevorproject.org; www.thetrevorproject.org; The only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention lifeline for LGBTQ youth.

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HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES World AIDS Day: Wednesday, December 1, 2010 World AIDS Day is the international day of action on

HIV and AIDS which takes place every year on December 1st. The overall purpose of the World AIDS Campaign from 2005 to 2010 is to ensure that leaders and decision makers deliver on their promises on AIDS, including the provision of Universal Access to Treatment, Care, Support, and Prevention services by 2010.

World AIDS Day is about people getting the facts about HIV and AIDS. It’s a day for people to get involved and there are many ways in which you can do so. No matter how you decide to mark the day, you can help create a more AIDS-aware society in which everyone takes action, so please make sure you show off your red ribbon on December 1st! Go to www.worldaidscampaign.org for more information. * AIDS Memorial Quilt – NAMES Project Foundation, New Jersey Chapter ; 329 Klagg Ave, Trenton, NJ 08638; 732-991-3479; NAMESPCNJ@aol.com; The AIDS Memorial Quilt is now a national treasure. It is displayed in various venues by request as an educational tool to help bring AIDS and HIV awareness in the public eye. We will help you to make individual panels for The Quilt to commemorate those who have passed away and to Keep the Love Alive. The Quilt helps promote healing and understanding. panel-making workshops can be scheduled at your location upon request. Our service areas are Central and Southern New Jersey. All honoraria are the main means of support.

Contributions that accompany panels are forwarded to the national Foundation together with the completed panel and will be used to help defray the cost of attaching the panel and for care of the Quilt.

AIDS Memorial Quilt – NAMES Project Foundation, Northern New Jersey Chapter ; PO Box 85, Paramus, NJ 07653; 201-265-0600; Fax: 732352-7920; info@namesnnj.org; www.namesnnj.org; A supporting organization of the National Foundation of the NAMES Project, promoting awareness of HIV/AIDS; serving as a local AIDS service organization; building alliances with other local AIDS service organizations; and helping people remember and grieve for those who have died from AIDS-related diseases. Serving Bergen, Essex, Hudson, Morris, Passaic, Sussex, and Warren counties. See ad on page 49.

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HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES

Pride Guide 2010 We recognize and support GAAMC for their dedicated service to those affected and infected

by HIV/AIDS In Loving Memory of Darlene LaRosa NAMES PROJECT FOUNDATION – NORTHERN NEW JERSEY CHAPTER HAPTER info@namesnnj.org 201-265-0600 Post Office Box 85 www.namesnnj.org Fax: 732-352-7920 Paramus, NJ 07653-0085

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2010

HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES Broadway House for Continuing Care ; Deborah Freisinger, Program & Special Events Coordinator; 298 Broadway, Newark, NJ 07104; 973-268-9797; freiside@umdnj.edu; www.broadwayhouse.org; A special care, residential 24-hour nursing facility providing services exclusively to people with HIV/AIDS. See ad on page 55.

Buddies of New Jersey, Inc ; 149 Hudson St, Hackensack, NJ 07601; 201-489-2900; HelpLine: 800-508-7577; njbuddies@aol.com; www.njbuddies.org; Mission: to provide support, education, and services for people infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. Services include: case management, both medical and community, substance abuse treatment and counseling, housing assistance, support groups, transportation, food pantry, and HIV/AIDS education. Now licensed for Substance Abuse Treatment. See ad on page 51.

God’s Love We Deliver ; 212-294-8102 or 800-747-2023; clientservices@glwd.org; www.godslovewedeliver.org; A non-profit, non-sectarian organization that provides home-delivered meals and nutritional counseling for people who are living with HIV/AIDS and other serious illnesses who, because of their illness, are unable to provide or prepare meals for themselves throughout NYC and Hudson County, NJ. Client Services: M-F, 8am-5pm.

Hop e Hou s e ; 19-21 Belmont Ave, Dover, NJ 07801; 973-361-5555 or 800-213-4967; Fax: 973-361-5290; information@hopehousenj.org; www.hopehouse.com; When hope seems like a word with no meaning...come to Hope House, where lives are forever changed. See ad on page 55. * Hyacinth AIDS Foundation ; 317 George St, Suite 203, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; 800-433-0254 in NJ, 732-246-0204 outside NJ; info@hyacinth.org; www.hyacinth.org; Hyacinth is the first and largest AIDS service organization in New Jersey. Hyacinth’s mission is to help people live with HIV, work to slow the spread of the pandemic, and serve as a critical voice in the public debate surrounding AIDS in New Jersey. Check our website to find the location nearest you. See ad on page 52.

New Jersey AIDS / STD Hotline ; UMDNJ, 140 Bergen St, Suite G1600, Newark, NJ 07101; 800-624-2377; Call the hotline 24 hours a day, any day, to find a local test site, or ask questions concerning HIV/AIDS or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

New Jersey AIDS Services, Inc ; 44 South St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-285-0006; Fax: 973-285-0067; info@NJAS-Inc.org; www.NJAS-Inc.org; Responding compassionately and responsibly to the HIV/AIDS crisis by providing supportive services, housing opportunities, prevention strategies and community education in New Jersey. See ad on page 53.

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HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES Buddies of New Jersey, Inc. Help Line (800) 508-7577 Office: (201) 489-2900 Fax: (201) 489-2133 E-mail: njbuddies@aol.com Webpage: www.njbuddies.org

Serving The Community since 1985 Our Mission: “to provide support, education, and services for people infected and affected by HIV/AIDS Join us for….

S.E.L.F. (Support, Education, Learning, Friendship)

Gay Men’s HIV Support Group Supporting members through the exchange of ideas, shared resources, educational services, and camaraderie.

Monday Evenings - 7:00pm – 8:30pm At the Franklin A. Smith Resource Center 149 Hudson Street, Hackensack, NJ 07601

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HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES

New Jersey’s first and largest AIDS service organization Six offices in Paterson, Newark, Jersey City, Plainfield, New Brunswick and Trenton

Guided by our mission to help people live with HIV, slow the epidemic, and serve as a critical voice in the public debate on HIV/AIDS, Hyacinth reached 20,000 New Jerseyans last year.

Hyacinth AIDS Foundation is the only organization in New Jersey dedicated to preserving the hard­won rights and benefits of people living with HIV/AIDS. AIDS does not discriminate, but some lawmakers do. Hyacinth is your voice in Trenton and Washington.

There is no vaccine. There is no cure. There were over 2,000 new infections in New Jersey last year; more than half were among young people under 25 years of age.

Join the Fight Against AIDS! 317 George Street New Brunswick, NJ 08901 732­246­0204 Fax: 732­246­4137 HIV/STD Hotline: 800­433­0254 info@hyacinth.org www.hyacinth.org

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HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES

Responding compassionately and responsibly to the HIV/AIDS crisis in New Jersey.

Did you know...

• • •

th

We are in the 28 year of the AIDS pandemic and there is still no cure!

AIDS is now the 7th leading cause of death among 1- to 4-year olds; 6th among 15- to 24-year olds; and 2nd among 25- to 44-year olds.

Half of the new infections worldwide are occurring in youth under the age of 25.

WE NEED YOUR HELP! VOLUNTEER! Help with House Coverage & Supervision Transport People to Medical Appointments Prepare Meals for HIV Positive People Become a HIV/AIDS Mentor & Buddy Volunteer/Walk in the NJ AIDS Walk

New Jersey AIDS Services, Inc. (formerly The Eric Johnson House)

44 South Street • Morristown • NJ • 07960 Tel: 973.285.0006 • (fax) 973.285.0067 • www.NJAS­Inc.org

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HIV/AIDS S UPPORT & S ERVICES New Jersey Ride Against AIDS ; PO Box 127, Bradley Beach, NJ 07720; 732-988-6593; www.njrideagainstaids.org; The New Jersey Ride Against AIDS is a three-day bicycling event that benefits New Jersey AIDS charities. The next ride is set for Sep. 24 - 26, 2010. The ride begins at High Point State Park in beautiful northwest New Jersey and concludes in the charming, Victorian town of Cape May at the southernmost point of the state. The length of the ride is approximately 250 miles.

New Jersey Women & AIDS Network (NJWAN) ; 103 Bayard St, 3rd Fl, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; and 7 Glenwood St, Suite. 401, East Orange, NJ 07017; Warmline: 800-747-1108, NB: 732-846-4462, EO: 973-395-0060; office@njwan.org; www.njwan.org; NJWAN was founded in May 1988 out of the recognition that an independent voice was needed to express the needs of women in the HIV/AIDS pandemic.

North Jersey Community Research Initiative ; 393 Central Ave, 3rd Floor, Newark, NJ 07103; 973-483-3444; njcri@njcri.org; www.njcri.org; Education; prevention programs for youth, HIV positives, and substance users; HIV Counseling/Testing/Referral; STD testing; clinical trials on HPV and HIV medications; syringe exchange; care/treatment/support services: primary care, psychiatry, substance abuse, nutrition, adherence, case management, food pantry, transportation, referrals, and support groups; technical assistance for minoritybased HIV organizations; behavioral surveillance/research; pre- and post-discharge correction services; Greater Newark multi-agency outreach; and collaborative project with other disease group organizations.

Ryan White Mental Health Program ; Christ Hospital-CRC, 179 Palisade Ave, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201-418-7037; hgolden@christhospital.org; Bilingual counseling for HIV+ Hudson County residents at Christ Hospital.

South Jersey AIDS Alliance ; 19 Gordon’s Alley, Atlantic City, NJ 08401; 609-347-1085, Hotline: 800-281-AIDS (2437); info@sjaids.org; www.southjerseyaidsalliance.org; Founded in 1985, offering AIDS and HIV support, info, and services. Covering Atlantic, Cape May, and Cumberland counties, the alliance operates regional support centers to assist clients and their families. All services are free and confidential.

Visiting Nurse Association of Central Jersey ; HIV/AIDS Resource Center; 176 Riverside Ave, Red Bank, NJ 07701; 800-947-0020; www.vnacj.org/community/hivaids.html; This referral phone line is a service of Monmouth-Ocean HIV Care Consortium and community organizations in Monmouth and Ocean counties. Assistance is offered daily from 8:30am-4:30pm.

After-hours messages will be returned on the next business day. All calls are confidential.

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2010

LEGAL SERVICES LESLIE A. FARBER Attorney at Law

LGBTI Community Needs • Civil Unions

• Estate Planning

Personal Injury

Municipal Court

• Auto Accidents • Fall Downs • Workers Comp.

• Traffic tickets • Drunk driving

Real Estate Closings Bankruptcy Employment Law

Academy Square, 33 Plymouth Street, Suite 204 • Montclair, New Jersey 07042 e­mail: LFarber@LFarberLaw.com • www.LFarberLaw.com

Ph. 973.509.8500 x 213 fax 973.860.1174

Christine M. Heer, Esq. Law and Alternative Dispute Resolution Mediation, Civil Unions, Collaborative Divorce Wills and Estates, Adoption

1 West Cliff Street, 2nd Floor Phone: 908-450-7421 Somerville, New Jersey 08876

Fax: 908-450-7422 cheeresqr@optonline.net

ROBIN T. WERNIK ATTORNEY AT LAW The Law Offices of Robin T. Wernik 34 Village Court Hazlet, NJ 07730 732-888-3338

W E C AT E R T O T H E C O M M U N I T Y

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LEGAL SERVICES William S. Singer, Esq, Singer & Fedun, LLC; 2230 Route 206, PO Box 134, Belle Mead, NJ 08502; 908-359-7873; Fax: 908-359-0128; wsinger@singerfedun.com; We specialize in the issues that shape your life, family creation, protection, and dissolution. See ad on page 36. [Bill comes to GAAMC on October 18.]

Robin T. Wernik; 34 Village Court, Hazlet, NJ 07730-1534; 732-888-3338; www.robinwernik.com; www.lawyers.com/wernik; Concentrating on the legal needs of the gay and lesbian community. See ad on page 56.

LIBRARIES Morris County Library ; 30 East Hanover Ave, Whippany, NJ 07981; 973285-6930; mocolib1@gti.net; www.mclib.info. See ad below.

Ocean County Library ; Toms River Branch, 101 Washington St, Toms River, NJ 08753; 732-349-6200; www.theoceancountylibrary.org; Hours: Mon.Thur. 9-9, Fri. & Sat. 9-5, Sun. 1-5 (Sun. Hours: Sep. through May). See ad below.

Morris County Library 30 East Hanover Avenue Whippany, NJ 07981

www.mclib.info mocolib1@gti.net 973­285­6930

Books...Music/Media...Children’s...Online Resources...Reference * Over 261,000 books & media * 800 magazines and newspapers (& more online) * 69 stations & wireless for Internet access * Career seminars and Internet classes * Several genealogy databases

* 7 meeting rooms * Exhibits * Online catalog * Reference by e­mail * Books by mail

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M E N TA L H E A L T H Mental Health/Therapists The best way to determine what a professional title means is to ask the prospective clinician to describe his or her title and what was required to earn it. Here’s a basic guideline.

Educational Titles BA: Bachelor of Arts BD: Bachelor of Divinity BS: Bachelor of Science EdD: Doctor of Education MA: Master of Arts MD: Medical Doctor MDiv: Master of Divinity MEd: Master of Education MS: Master of Science MSS: Master of Social Science MSW: Master of Social Work PhD: Doctor of Philosophy PsyD: Doctorate of Psychology

Professional Titles APN: Advanced Practice Nurse ACSW: Academy of Certified Social Workers BCD: Board Certified Diplomate CAC: Certified Alcohol Counselor CAS: Certified Addiction Specialist CADC: Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor CCMHC: Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor CFT: Counselor Family Therapist CNS: Clinical Nurse Specialist CSW: Certified Social Worker (bachelor’s level) DFC: Diplomat in Forensic Counseling DPM: Diplomat in Pain Management LCADC: Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor LCSW: Licensed Clinical Social Worker (master’s level) LMFT: Licensed Marriage Family Therapist LPC: Licensed Professional Counselor NCC: National Certified Counselor NCPsyA: Nationally Certified Psychoanalyst PsyA: Psychoanalyst RN: Registered Nurse

The Division of Consumer Affairs (www.state.nj.us/lps/ca ), through its various professional boards, licenses and regulates the practice of mental health professionals in New Jersey. The Division is located at 124 Halsey St, Newark, NJ 07102. Phone: 973-504-6470.

Consumers are advised to check for a valid license when using such services.

Online resources include: The American Psychological Association’s FAQs on Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality at www.apa.org/pubinfo/answers.html.

“Choosing a Therapist: Advice for Seeking a Professional’s Help,” from the Personal Liberty Fund’s Educators’ Resource Guide for Serving GLBTQ Youth, at www.njlgc.org/publications/youth_guide/index.html.

Trevor Project Suicide Prevention Hotline

866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386)

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M E N TA L H E A L T H Annmarie Agosta , LCSW; East Brunswick, NJ 08816; 732-353-6136; AagostaLCSW@aol.com; www.synchronicitytherapy.com; Psychotherapy for individuals, couples, and families, integrating body, mind, and spirit. NJ Lic. 44SC05192900.

Allen Wells Center ; Allen Wells, BA, BD, Director; 102 Ogden Pl, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-539-0301; Specializing in whole person, contemplative psychotherapy of mind/body/heart/spirit.

Alternative Approach Psychotherapy Assoc ; Marilyn Heimowitz, LCSW; 50 Church St, Suite 104, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-736-8785; Life is a journey. We all need help along the way. Let us help! Individual, couple, family, addictions, abuse.

BN Counseling , LLC; Brian Nandy; 147 Columbia Tpk, Suite 307, Florham Park, NJ 07932; 908-419-5712; Fax: 908-436-6768; brian.nandy@bncounseling.com; www.bncounseling.com; Breaking the Ritual. NJ Lic. 37PC00350300. See ad below.

Center for Identity Development ; 31 Trinity Pl, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-744-6386; www.centeridentity.qpg.com; Individual, group, family, and couples therapy, plus other services. James Mahon, LCSW, ACSW, NJ Lic. SC00984.

Robert Reese, PsyD, NJ Lic. 2925. See ad on page 60.

Joseph A. Chan, MSW, LCSW; 85 Park St, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-202-1421; Fax: 973-707-7616; josephlcsw@comcast.net; Lesbian, gay, and bisexual affirming psychotherapist. Culturally-sensitive individual therapy. Strict confidentiality. NJ Lic. 44SC05184400.

Raymond Cicetti , LCSW; 44 Elm St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-984-6343; Utilizing a solution-based approach to healing with individuals, couples, and families. Specializing in: Stress reduction, anxiety/depression, and communication problems. NJ Lic. 44SC00530700. See ad on page 64.

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M E N TA L H E A L T H Since 1980, a clinic especially for the Gay/Lesbian community…

CID

CENTER FOR IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT Offering the following services: • Individual Psychotherapy & Counseling • Group Therapy • Family Therapy • Alcoholism Counseling • Couple Counseling • Information & Referral • Psychological Testing -•CENTER DIRECTOR

JAMES V. MAHON, L.C.S.W., A.C.S.W.

BY APPOINTMENT

973-744-6386 ROBERT J. REESE, PSY.D. Clinical Psychologist 31 Trinity Place, Montclair, NJ 07042

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M E N TA L H E A L T H Ann Cutillo, LCSW; 51 Upper Montclair Plaza, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-509-9440; anncutillo@comcast.net; Solution-based counseling utilizing an active, reality-based approach and treatment plan. Caring and concerned gay therapist providing help in a safe and supportive environment. NJ Lic. 44SC00172700. See ad on page 62.

Brenda G. Forte , LCSW, CAS; 44 Elm St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973538-2818; bfortelcsw@verizon.net; www.BrendaFortePsychotherapy.com; Affirming therapy and counseling for individuals and couples. Specialties include: anxiety & fears, depression, substance abuse, trauma, and relationship issues. NJ Lic. SC776. See ad on page 62.

Russell W. Healy , MSW, LCSW; 4 East Cliff St, Somerville, NJ 08876; 2999 Princeton Pike, Suite 5, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648; 908-526-5784; Consultation and psychotherapy for sexual identity and gender identity issues, sexual behavior problems, depression, and relationship concerns. NJ Lic.44SC-00039400.

Institute for Personal Growth ; 800-379-9220 or 732-246-8439; www.ipgcounseling.com; Serving gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and others on the sexual vanguard. Three office locations: Freehold, Jersey City, and Highland Park, NJ. 24 therapists on staff. NJ Lic. 34SI00184700. See ad inside back cover.

Rosemarie Kopacsi , PhD, LCSW; 460 Bloomfield Ave, Suite 209, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-509-0574; 973-868-4533; rkopacsi@comcast.net; Individual, couples, and family therapy. NJ Lic. 02029.

Branka Kurta, LCSW; 209 Cooper Ave, Suite 9B, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 201-214-3623; brankakurta@yahoo.com; Adolescents and adults. Trauma, relational issues, GLBT issues, general mental health, women’s issues. NJ Lic. 44SC04792700.

Lisa LaBrunda, LCSW; 170 Changebridge Rd, Bldg. B3-4, Montville, NJ 07045; 973-951-0297; Fax: 862-209-4311; llabrunda@yahoo.com; therapist.psychologytoday.com/48227; NJ Lic. 44SC05329200.

Lesbians in Transition ; Catherine Roland, Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-655-7184; nj_buff@yahoo.com; Short-term (6 weeks) group beginning in August for mid-life or older lesbians. Are you going through a change in your life, such as a relationship break-up, a loss, family issues? Thursdays at 5:30pm. Cost: $60/week for 6 weeks.

Time limited, spaces limited, earliest contact best.

Lesbians With Cancer Support Group ; c/o The Cancer Institute of NJ, 195 Little Albany St, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; 732-235-6781; slirzero@umdnj.edu; www.cinj.org; Support for lesbians with cancer and their partners held the 3rd Monday of each month at CINJ from 6:30-8pm. Rose Slirzewski, LCSW, facilitator.

Diana Lunt, LCSW; 296 Amboy Ave, Metuchen, NJ 08840; 732-548-4145; Fax: 732-548-4145; Licensed, caring, experienced psychotherapist specializing in depression, relationship issues, and sexual abuse issues. In-network provider for many insurances. NJ Lic. SC01741. See ad on page 64.

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M E N TA L H E A L T H

Ann Cutillo, LCSW 51 Upper Montclair Plaza Upper Montclair, NJ 07043 973-509-9440 LGBTI Concerns • PTSD Certified Imago Couples Therapist Anxiety • Depression • Addiction Communication • Intimacy • Self-Esteem EMDR Trained • Certified LCSW Supervisor NJ State Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Brenda G. Forte, LCSW, CAS

#SC00776

Intimacy / Relationship Issues Addictions / Codependency Anxiety / Depression Trauma / Abuse Stress Reduction / Spirituality Couples Counseling Mind / Body Psychotherapy

44 Elm Street, 2nd floor Morristown, NJ 07960 973-538-2818 bfortelcsw@verizon.net BrendaFortePsychotherapy.com

EMDR Certified / Certified Addiction Specialist

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M E N TA L H E A L T H Dahlia Mann, PhD, Clinical Psychologist; Millburn/Summit & Springfield Area; 973-868-2431; info@drdahliamann.com; www.couplescounseling-millburnnj.com; Practical solutions for dealing with: parenting/families, relationships, trust issues, anxiety/depression. NJ Lic. 35SI00380300.

Cheryl Ann Notari , PhD; Licensed Psychologist; 332 Springfield Ave, Suite 204, Summit, NJ 07901; 908-608-1114; Providing psychotherapy to children, adolescents, and adults in a supportive environment. NJ Lic. 35S100426900.

Ridgewood Psychotherapy Associates ; Susan Donnelly, LCSW; 112 Prospect St, Ridgewood, NJ 07450; 201-447-5565; Fax: 201-445-2354; susandlcsw@gmail.com; www.ridgewoodtherapy.com; Trauma, spirituality, families, cultural awareness. NJ Lic. 44SC00206800.

Dr. Catherine Roland , LPC; 51 Upper Montclair Plaza, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-655-7184; nj_buff@yahoo.com; Relationship counseling for GLBT couples and families, sexual identity issues, Life Coaching. Licensed therapist with 24 years experience. Saturday and weekday hours, women’s groups. NJ Lic. 37PC00314000. See ad on page 64.

Marsha N. Shapiro , LCSW, BCD, LLC; 1626 Route 130 N, Suite K, North Brunswick, NJ 08902; and 554 East Commons Way, Toms River, NJ 08755; 732-422-9400; Fax: 732-274-0023; mashkalah@aol.com; Affirmative therapy in a relaxed, comfortable environment. Coming out, being gay in a heterosexual marriage, relationships, parenting, family of origin issues, addictions, and survivors of childhood abuse or incest. More than 22 years of experience.

EMDR trained. NJ Lic. SL-00046. See ad below.

Ken Singer, LCSW; Lambertville, NJ 08530; 609-397-2760; Specializes in male survivors with a practice in Lambertville, NJ. Author of “Evicting the Perpetrator—A Male Survivor’s Guide to Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse,” available from Amazon.com or nearipress.org. NJ Lic. SC00274.

Marsha N. Shapiro, LCSW, BCD, LLC Licensed Clinical Social Worker Board Certified Diplomate individual • couple • family • group therapy community education • staff training Offices in North Brunswick, NJ, and Toms River, NJ

732-422-9400

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M E N TA L H E A L T H RAY CICETTI, LCSW Licensed Clinical Social Worker 44 Elm Street, Morristown, NJ 07960 973-984-6343 Specializing in the treatment of: Relationship Issues Stress Management Issues of Grief/Loss

Co-dependency/Addiction Recovery Depression and Anxiety Communication Problems

Diana Lunt, LC SW Certified Psychoanalyst Licensed Clinical Social Worker 296 Amboy Avenue Metuchen, New Jersey 08840 732-548-4145

Dr. Catherine Roland, LPC Licensed Professional Counselor - New Jersey

Individual, Partner, and Family Counseling LGBT Developmental Issues Transition Life Coaching – TLC © 51 Upper Montclair Plaza Upper Montclair, NJ 07043 973-655-7184 973-943-1273 nj_buff@yahoo.com

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M E N TA L H E A L T H NOT FEELING SO GAY...?

CONFUSED? ANXIOUS? LONELY? ANGRY? RELATIONSHIP OR FAMILY PROBLEMS? HOMOPHOBIC? HETEROPHOBIC? ADDICTED TO SOMETHING—OR SOMEONE? DO YOUR FRIENDS WISH YOU’D GET HELP?

For skilled, supportive, professional assistance...

DEBORAH S. SMITH MS, LCADC & GAY/LESBIAN/BISEXUAL/TRANSGENDER SPECIALIST & LICENSED CLINICAL ALCOHOL & DRUG COUNSELOR & TRAINED GESTALT THERAPIST

CLARITY COUNSELING & CONSULTATION 47 Maple Street, L-21 Summit, NJ 07901 Phone: 908-277-9599 License # 37LC00099200

Spectrum Counseling Solutions, LLC Lisa Leidecker M.Ed., LPC, LCADC NJ Licensed Professional Counselor • NJ Licensed Clinical Alcohol & Drug Counselor

973.568.1166

51 Upper Montclair Plaza Suite 21 Upper Montclair, NJ 07043

248 Broad Street Suite B Red Bank, NJ 07701 Insurance Accepted

To thine own self be true

Depression / Anxiety • Trauma – EMDR Trained • Identity Issues • Addictions

KARL L. TRAPPE, Ph.D. Psychologist

601 Jefferson Road Suite 107 Parsippany, NJ 07054

Tel: 973-428-8812 Fax: 973-515-8686 E-Mail: KTRAPPE@AOL.COM

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M E N TA L H E A L T H Deborah S. Smith , MS, LCADC; 47 Maple St, L-21, Summit, NJ 07901; Affirming, confidential counseling for individuals and couples. More than 30 years experience in GLBT issues and addictions. NJ Lic. 37LC00099200. See ad on page 65.

Spectrum Counseling Solutions, LLC ; Lisa Leidecker, LPC, LCADC, NCC; 51 Upper Montclair Plaza, Suite 21, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; and 248 Broad St, Suite B, Red Bank, NJ 07701; 973-568-1166; Fax: 732-957-9119; lleidecker@hotmail.com; Depression, anxiety, relationship issues, trauma, EMDR trained, identity issues, addictions, abuse. Montclair: Wed., Red Bank: Mon, Tue, Thu. NJ Lic. 37PC00020000. See ad on page 65.

Karl L. Trappe , PhD; 601 Jefferson Rd, Suite 107, Parsippany, NJ 07054; 800-813-1234 or 973-428-8812; ktrappe@aol.com; Psychologist. NJ Lic. 35SI00250200. See ad on page 65.

Joe Vernic, LCSW ; 239 New Rd,Bldg C-203, 1st Floor, Parsippany, NJ 07054; 973-255-6127; jvernic@optonline.net; www.njgaylife.com/j-vernic.htm; Trained in Hakomi-mindfulness based somatic psychotherapy and psychoanalytic psychotherapy. NJ Lic.#: 44SC05397400.

O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Alternate Thursdays ; First Lutheran Church of Montclair, 153 Park St, Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-325-6809; kjdinkin@comcast.net; Social group for women.

A great place to make new friends, find support, or meet someone special. We offer a comfortable, safe, and friendly atmosphere for you to discuss a variety of topics with like-minded women. We meet the 2nd Thursday of every month from 7:30 to 9pm. We request a $3 donation for the Church. Any questions? Contact Kerry. * American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey ; PO Box 32159, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-642-2084; info@aclu-nj.org; www.aclu-nj.org; A non-profit, non-partisan organization working to fight civil liberties violations and to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to all people in this country by the Constitution and laws of the United States. See article on page 22.

Arts Adventures ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; artsadventures36@aol.com; www.pridecenter.org; Our goal is to provide opportunities for members and friends to participate with others in attending a variety of cultural events (e.g. theater, museums, galleries, concerts, opera, and dance). Announcements about upcoming events will be periodically sent by e-mail. Sign up to be added to our e-mail list.

Asexual Visibility and Education Network ; 314-210-7659; info@asexuality.org; www.asexuality.org; AVEN is a supportive community of asexual people and our allies. We seek to create open, honest public dialogue about asexuality.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S BEAR CAFE New York Inc ; PO Box 20043, West Village Station, New York, NY 10014; info@bearcafe.org; www.bearcafe.org; The alcohol-free coffeehouse for ALL men of all ages, races, types, or interests held at the LGBT Community Center in Manhattan.

The Center – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Center ; 208 West 13th St, New York, NY 10011-7702; 212-6207310; Fax: 212-924-2657; rgreen@gaycenter.org; www.gaycenter.org; New York City’s gay community center. Via subway: Take 1, 2, 3, A, C, F, V trains to 1 4 th St. Central Jersey Lesbian Alliance ; centraljerseyla@aol.com; groups.yahoo.com/group/CJLA; The mission of the Central Jersey Lesbian Alliance is to enrich the lives of our members and exhibit a positive lesbian community example. We accomplish this through arranging supportive and comfortable venues to socialize, providing information and resources regarding lesbian events and issues, participating in community volunteer activities, encouraging communication with other lesbian organizations, and keeping abreast of political issues that affect the lesbian community.

Central NJ Gay Men’s Opera Club ; New Brunswick Area; 732-2499034; hagol@msn.com; We meet the 1st Sunday each month at 6pm in Somerset, NJ, to share favorite opera recordings and videos and to socialize.

Come Out and Play (COP) ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; cop@PrideCenter.org; www.pridecenter.org/cop; A social networking group for 20- and 30-somethings, offering a variety of social events, helpful workshops, and volunteering opportunities. Social group meets at PCNJ the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays, 7-9:30pm.

Other events throughout the month. Visit COP website for more information.

Feminine Connection ; PO Box 855, Oakland, NJ 07436; 201-337-6943; feminineconnect@aol.com; www.feminineconnect.org; Events for women: Dances, networking, scholarship awards.

Ford Gay Lesbian or Bisexual Employees (GLOBE) ; PMB #187, 26300 Ford Rd, Dearborn Heights, MI 48127; info@FordGLOBE.org; www.FordGLOBE.org; Ford GLOBE is an ever-expanding grassroots network of employees, retirees, and contractors at Ford Motor Company, its subsidiaries, and affiliates. We welcome new members. * GABLES of Cape May County ; PO Box 641, Cape May Court House, NJ 08210; 609-861-1848; gables00@email.com; www.gablescapemay.com; Social and outreach organization whose purpose is to promote, secure, enhance, and protect the human dignity, integrity, and legal and political rights of lesbians, gays, and bisexual persons. Meets 3rd Monday of each month at 7pm at the Church of the Advent, Cape May. Garden State Bears ; groups.yahoo.com/group/gardenstatebears; We are a statewide social club for Bears, Chubs, Chasers, and Admirers.

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Garden State Equality is New Jersey ’s largest LGBT organization.

Since our founding in 2004, New Jersey has enacted 211 LGBT laws at the state, county and local levels – a national record.

We’ve also helped thousands facing discrimination.

To volunteer, lear n more or to get help with any LGBT matter, visit GardenStateEquality.org or contact us at (973) GSE-LGBT or Contact@GardenStateEquality.org Garden State Equality – statewide headquarters 500 Bloomfield Avenue Montclair, New Jersey 07042

Garden State Equality – Jersey Shore office 658 Cookman Avenue Asbury Park, New Jersey 07712

Garden State Equality – South Jersey office 583 Haddon Avenue Collingswood, New Jersey 08108

Garden State Equality – legislative office 110 West State Street Trenton, New Jersey 086081

Catherine Lombardi

Moonstruck

3 Livingston Ave New Brunswick, NJ

512 Lake Ave Asbury Park, NJ

1st Tuesday of each month

2nd & 4th Wednesdays of each month

www.gpbn.org e­mail: info@gpbn.org

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Garden State Equality ; 500 Bloomfield Ave, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973GSE-LGBT (473-5428); Contact@GardenStateEquality.org; www.gardenstateequality.org; Jersey Shore office, 658 Cookman Ave, Asbury Park, NJ 07712; South Jersey office, 583 Haddon Ave, Collingswood, NJ 08108; Legislative Office; 110 West State St, Trenton, NJ 08608; Statewide organization for LGBTI civil rights, with an advocacy arm that works to pass pro-LGBTI legislation and to fight for those facing discrimination, and a political arm that works to elect pro-LGBTI candidates. See ad on page 68.

Gay & Lesbian Political Action & Support Groups ; PO Box 11406, New Brunswick, NJ 08906-1406; 732-744-1370; email@gaypasg.org; www.gaypasg.org; Supporting basic Civil Rights, Same-Sex Civil Marriage, and Safe Schools as major projects. * Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County ; PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961-0137; Voice mail: 973-285-1595; Pay phone on Monday nights: 973-455-9738; info@gaamc.org; www.gaamc.org; Office and meeting place: Morristown Unitarian Fellowship(MUF), 21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960. Meetings on Monday evenings. Doors open at 6:30. Building is partially wheelchair accessible. Read about us on pages 8-11.

Gay and Lesbian Medical Association ; 459 Fulton St, Suite 107, San Francisco, CA 94102; 415-255-4547; info@glma.org; www.glma.org; Are you lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender and looking for a healthcare provider you can trust? GLMA’s online provider directory can help. Search for primary care providers, specialists, therapists, dentists, and other healthcare providers in your area. Get the care you need and deserve. This service is free and you do not need to register. The Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA) is the world’s largest and oldest association of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) health care professionals. GLMA’s mission is to ensure equality in health care for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals and health care providers.

Gay Dad’s Coming Out/Support ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Monthly meeting focusing on parent/child issues for gay dads. Meets at PCNJ 1st Wednesday, 7:30 to 9pm.

Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) Chapters ; glsen@glsen.org; www.glsen.org; GLSEN is the leading national education organization focused on ensuring safe schools for all students. GLSEN envisions a world in which every child learns to respect and accept all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. GLSEN seeks to develop school climates where difference is valued for the positive contribution it makes to creating a more vibrant and diverse community. Join your local GLSEN chapter to ensure that these issues receive local attention and help to make a difference in K-12 schools.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S GLSEN ―Central New Jersey ; PO Box 261, Hightstown, NJ 08520; 609448-8243; cnj@njglsen.org; www.glsen.org/centralnj; GLSEN Central NJ is an accredited chapter of the national Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network working to make schools safer for all students, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

GLSEN ―Northern New Jersey ; 32 Jones St, Suite 302, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201-963-4779; glsen_nnj@yahoo.com; NorthernNJ@chapters.glsen.org; www.glsen.org/northernnj; GLSEN Northern NJ is an accredited chapter of the national Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network working to make schools safer for all students, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

Gay Men’s Coming Out Group ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; njwarrior@aol.com; www.pridecenter.org; A moderated discussion group for issues related to coming out as a gay man. Meets at PCNJ every Wednesday at 7:30pm.

Gay Men’s Guild ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; The Gay Men’s Guild was established to make a positive difference in the lives of gay men by providing a nurturing environment of understanding and respect for gay men of New Jersey.

The Guild is dedicated and committed to developing and maintaining a gay men’s community.

Gay Pride Business Network ; PO Box 255, Cranford, NJ 07016; 908276-2006; info@gpbn.org; www.gpbn.org; GPBN is a business networking community dedicated to educating and motivating you to help you build relationships to grow your business. We connect to build business. All business people are welcome to join and network. We meet at Moonstruck Restaurant in Asbury Park (2nd and 4th Wednesdays) and at Catherine Lombardi’s Restaurant in New Brunswick (1st Tuesdays). See ad on page 68. * Gender Rights Advocacy Association of New Jersey (GRAANJ) ; c/o 119 Manor Dr, Red Bank, NJ 07701; 732-603-0514; njgender@aol.com; A statewide membership organization committed to securing full civil rights for transgendered and intersexed people, and individuals of non-stereotypical gender identity and expression, without regard to race, religion, or sexual orientation. Call or e-mail for further information. See ad on page 105.

Heritage of Pride, Inc ; 154 Christopher St, Suite 1D, New York, NY 10014; 212-80-PRIDE (212-807-7433); www.nycpride.org; Heritage of Pride organizes Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered Pride events in New York City to commemorate and celebrate the Stonewall Riots. Pride Week 2010: June 19-27. 41st anniversary of Stonewall this year.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Hudson Diversity Action Council ; 32 Jones St, Suite 301, Jersey City, NJ 07306; walt@hudsondiversity.org; www.hudsondiversity.org; Hudson Diversity Action Council advances the issues of under-served populations through political action, voter mobilization, and community education. Our mission is to represent a unified voting bloc and raise both awareness and funding for electoral candidates who will foster progress on the issues that are important to our community.

Hudson Pride Connections Center ; 32 Jones St, Jersey City, NJ 073063103; 201-963-4779; info@hudsonpride.org; www.hudsonpride.org; Hudson Pride Connections Center is a 501(c)3 non-profit community center located in Hudson County, NJ, serving the GLBT community and everyone living with HIV/AIDS. Activities, groups and programs active at HPCC include Coffee House, Out of the Box Open Mic Night, 32 Jones Art Gallery, The David Bohnett Cyber Center, Anthony Salandra Library, BLITZ, GLITZ, Jersey City Lesbian + Gay Outreach, Living Beyond Spirituality Group, Rainbow Book Group, Rainbow Recovery NA, YouthConnect, C.R.A.V.E. (Creating Relationship and Visions of Empowerment, Youth Program), Emergency Assists (Financial Assistance Program), Buddy Program (Treatment Adherence & Support Program), HIV Outreach Program, HIV Testing, and LEAP (Legal Education & Advocacy). Key events throughout the year include our LGBT Youth Prom, LGBT Annual Health Fair, World Aids Day Observance, HPC Annual Gala, and Hudson Pride’s Next Top Model. See ad below.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S * Human Rights Campaign ; Greater NY/NJ Steering Committee; www.hrc.org/contactus; http://greaterny.hrc.org; HRC envisions an America where lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people are ensured equality and embraced as full members of the American family at home, at work, and in every community.

Jersey boys of Leather ; c/o spanky Bialous, 204 Hollywood Ave, Neptune, NJ 07753; 732-619-5934; mrnjleather2008@yahoo.com; www.JerseyboysofLeather.com; A group of self-identified leather-boys. The term “leather-boy” being defined as broadly as possible with the intent of being inclusive and “boy” not being based on gender, age, sexual orientation, or appearance. Meets 3 rd Thursday of each month. * Jersey City Lesbian + Gay Outreach, Inc (JCLGO) ; 32 Jones St, Suite 303, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201-333-5725; info@jclgo.org; www.jclgo.org; A non-profit, all-volunteer organization dedicated to being a vital voice in Jersey City that brings the GLBTI community together. Produces Jersey City’s Annual GLBTI Pride Festival in August. Jersey City Pride 2010 will be held Saturday, August 28. See ad on page 41.

Jersey Order of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence ; 732-619-5934; mrnjleather2008@yahoo.com; An order of queer nuns, founded in San Francisco thirty-one years ago, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence is now a full-fledged pastoral and charitable organization, having given away more than one million dollars. * Jersey Pride, Inc ; PO Box 10796, New Brunswick, NJ 08906; (732) 21-GAY-NJ (732-214-2965); info@jerseypride.org; www.jerseypride.org; The all-volunteer organization that produces NJ’s Annual Statewide Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Intersexed Pride Celebration the 1 st weekend in June in Asbury Park (Saturday and Sunday, June 5 & 6, 2010). JPI is committed to increasing the visibility of, and promoting the well-being of NJ’s GLBTI community through annual pride events, year-round fundraising efforts, and production of the critically acclaimed magazine, The Jersey Gaze. See ad on page 42.

Morris County NOW Supporting Gay Rights & Same Sex Marriage JOIN MORRIS COUNTY NOW P. O. Box 394 Morristown, New Jersey 07960 973-285-1200 MorrisCountyNOW@gmail.com

www.morriscountynow.org

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Jersey Shore Q-Spot ; Jersey Shore Community Center Project, PO Box 855, Belmar, NJ 07719; info@jsqspot.org; www.jsqspot.org; Offers specific programs and services to the GLBTI community in Monmouth and Ocean Counties, which include 4 initiatives focused on Health, Seniors, Family, and Youth. Meetings held on Monday nights in Asbury Park and a once-a-month Quesday program with speakers and other events.

Lambda Car Club ; 908-392-1336; LCCBaron@aol.com; www.lambdacarclub.com; A car club for gays and lesbians in the NY Metro area.

Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM) ; 208 West 13th St, New York, NY 10011; LSMNYC@hotmail.com; www.lesbiansexmafia.org; Founded in 1981, we are one of the oldest women’s BDSM support and education groups in the country. Our membership is primarily in the tri-state area of NY, NJ, and CT. LSM is a support and information group for all women 18 years of age or older, including transsexual and intersexed women who live their daily lives as women, and all female-born transgender people who feel they have a connection with and respect for the women’s community. Our principles are few but basic: confidentiality, consensuality, safety, and the right of women to explore their sexuality as they choose.

Lesbians & Gay Men of New Brunswick ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; njrj@aol.com; www.pridecenter.org; Friendly non-structured conversation and refreshments.

Everyone welcome. Meets at PCNJ 2nd & 4th Tuesdays at 8:30pm. * Log Cabin Republicans of NJ ; 1901 Pennsylvania Ave, NW, Suite 902, Washington, DC 20006; 973-635-5373; membership@logcabin.org; coffeelen@att.net; www.logcabin.org; Log Cabin Republicans courageously stand on the front lines of today’s most important battleground for gay and lesbian civil rights. We are the nation’s leading voice for fairness, inclusion, and tolerance in the GOP. The nation’s largest gay and lesbian Republican organization, with local chapters at the state level.

Here are just some of the movies we’ve shown in 11 years: Hairspray ∙ D.E.B.S. ∙ Kissing Jessica Stein ∙ Aimee and Jaguar ∙ Beautiful Thing ∙ Y Tu Mama Tambien ∙ Billy Elliot ∙ Chicken Tikka Masala ∙ The Twilight of the Golds ∙ Gods and Monsters ∙ Adam & Steve ∙ Kinsey ∙ Trick ∙ Alexander ∙ La Cage aux Folles ∙ Twist ∙ The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert ∙ Bear Cub ∙ Philadelphia ∙ Cowboys and Angels ∙ But I’m a Cheerleader ∙ Love! Valour! Compassion!

For more information, write to: i nfog ayfi l ms@e arthl i nk. ne t or

visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NJGFSandPDC/

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Long Yang Club—New Jersey ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; lycnj@aol.com; www.lycnj.com; For gay Asians and Pacific Islanders and their friends. E-mail for meeting location and times.

Magnus Hirschfeld Center for Human Rights ; Crosswicks House, PO Box 1974, Bloomfield, NJ 07003; 862-823-1767; wacourson@hotmail.com; www.geocities.com/mhc_humanrights/index3.html; A non-governmental, nonprofit organization engaged in the promotion of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender human rights and civil liberties under international law. Bill Courson, executive director.

Men Living Out ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Support discussion about gay men Living Out of the Closet. Afterward, men go to a diner to socialize. Meets at PCNJ every Wednesday at 7:30pm.

Men’s Games Night and Dessert ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Monthly games night for men. Opportunity for guys to meet, play board games, and socialize. Meets at PCNJ 4th Saturday, 7pm.

Montclair State University: Gay & Lesbian Faculty & Staff Association ; Montclair State University, 1 Normal Ave, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-655-4168; GLFSA@mail.montclair.edu; We represent the diverse community of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender faculty and staff of Montclair State University.

Movie Social; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 089042701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Gay feature shown on state-of-the-art DVD projector. Popcorn, drinks, and refreshments included. Meets at PCNJ 2nd Saturday, 7pm.

Multiple Sclerosis Lambda Essential Group for Support (MS LEGS); 201-788-3663; MSLEGS@Juno.com; Self-directed by GLBT people with MS and sponsored by the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, NJ Metro Chapter.

MS LEGS meets monthly in Nutley, NJ, and at other Bergen & Passaic County locations for various activities. Care- and/or life-partners are welcome.

NARAL Pro-Choice New Jersey Foundation ; PO Box 23312, Trenton, NJ 08607; 609-439-4516; prochoicenj@prochoicenj.org; www.prochoicenj.org; We provide materials and programs regarding the issue of reproductive and personal freedom, privacy, access to services for all people, and protection of New Jersey as a progressive haven. Services include: Fact sheets, speakers and issue-related materials, high school and college programs, participation in statewide coalitions, and creation of legislation which protects reproductive rights. All our services are provided free of charge.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S * National Association of Social Workers ―NJ Chapter ; Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Issues Special Interest Group; 200 Metroplex Dr, Suite 404, Edison, NJ 08817; 732-248-1590; 800-932-0004; info@naswnj.org; blmoore22@hotmail.com; www.naswnj.org; Serving social workers concerned with LGBT issues. Maintains list of sympathetic therapists. Meets bimonthly. Contact us to be added to our listserv, to receive info about meetings, etc.

National Organization for Lesbians of SizE (NOLOSE) ; PO Box 5475, Oakland, CA 94805; 888-831-2139; info@nolose.org; www.nolose.org; A support, social, and networking group for fat or fat-positive lesbians, bi-women, trans folks, and our allies.

National Organization for Women ―Morris County ; PO Box 394, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-285-1200; MorrisCountyNOW@gmail.com; www.morriscountynow.org; Play a part in creating positive change for women and families. Make your voice heard. Meetings 1 st Tuesday of the month, 7:30pm, at the Morris Plains Community Center, Jim Fear Drive. See ad on page 72.

National Organization for Women ―NJ ; 110 W State St, Trenton, NJ 08608; 609-393-0156; NOW-NJ@nownj.org; www.nownj.org; Since its founding in 1966, NOW’s goal has been to take action to bring about equality for all women.

NOW works to eliminate discrimination and harassment in the workplace, schools, the justice system, and all other sectors of society; secure abortion, birth control, and reproductive rights for all women; end all forms of violence against women; eradicate racism, sexism, and homophobia; and promote equality and justice in our society.

New Jersey Bares ; PO Box 389, Sparta, NJ 07871; njbares@hotmail.com; A male gay naturist group whose purpose is to meet as a group for socializing and making new friends.

New Jersey Furs ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; ShyMatsi@gmail.com; www.pridecenter.org; Social group focused on members of the NJ gay community who are fans of anthropomorphic animals. Also known as Furries, we have local meets, plan events and conventions, and have fun. E-mail Shy for info.

New Jersey Gay Film Society and Potluck Dinner Club ; infogayfilms@earthlink.net; rsvpgayfilms@earthlink.net; groups.yahoo.com/group/NJGFSandPDC; Our group offers a GLBTI-themed movie/social event―including a friendly potluck dinner ―the third Saturday of every month at 7pm at a different host’s home in northern or central NJ. We show mostly recent GLBTI movies―from comedy to drama. Admission is free, but you must bring a favorite entrée, side dish, dessert, and/or beverage to share. See ad on page 73.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S New Jersey Lesbian & Gay Coalition/Personal Liberty Fund ; PO Box 11335, New Brunswick, NJ 08906-1335; 732-828-6772; mail@njlgc.org; www.njlgc.org; Statewide organization representing the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, and intersexed communities in NJ. See ad on page 77.

New Jersey LGBT Cancer Support Group ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; njlgbtcsg@me.com; www.aegletes.com/NJLGBTCSG; Meets at PCNJ 2nd Friday of every month from 7:30 to 9pm. See article on page 24.

New Jersey Rainbow Alliance of the Deaf ; plt311@comcast.net; www.njrad.org; NJRAD a non-profit organization for Deaf LGBTIQ in NJ and its vicinities. * New Jersey Stonewall Democrats ; PO Box 8221, New Market Station, Piscataway, NJ 08855; 732-603-0514; bcasbarsiperstein@stonewalldemocrats.org; www.njstonewalldemocrats.org; Founded in January 2000 to bring together Democrats: gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, intersexed, and heterosexual, to influence the leaders of New Jersey’s Democratic Party to understand and support equal rights for our community. From within the party itself, we maintain an ongoing dialog with leaders, helping them fight for the ideals of the Democratic Party and holding them accountable, while embracing equality for all Americans: in our party, our state, and our country. Join us now! Meets 4 th Tuesday at Monmouth County Democrats HQ, 64 E Main St, Freehold, NJ 07728. * New Jersey Support Group ; 206-600-7860; www.njsg.org; New Jersey Support Group provides a cultural medium for all identifying as transgender, transsexual, or crossdresser in NJ & East PA through which we can give & receive support by sharing our diverse life experiences as gifted individuals. We provide a relaxed, noncompetitive, informal, & safe atmosphere for all members of the transgender community regardless of their age, race, religious affiliation, or sexual orientation.

New York boys of Leather ; newyorkboysofleather@gmail.com; www.NYbol.org; A leather social organization whose mission is to provide leatherboys with a forum to have fun, learn, educate, socialize, and support each other and the NYC and national leather communities.

North Jersey Prime Timers ; PO Box 89, Sussex, NJ 07461; 201-841-0826; mgrifone@embarqmail.com; www.primetimersww.org; www.meetup.com/NorthJersey-Primetimers; Designed for older gay and bisexual men who would like to engage in a variety of social activities within the chapter and with other chapters throughout the country and overseas. We hold monthly dinner meetings.

Orthodykes; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 089042701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Helping women who are traditional Jews and lesbian, bisexual, or transgender live at peace with those two aspects of identity. Meets at PCNJ 3rd Sunday, 7:30 to 9pm.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Overeaters Anonymous ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; markdoa@gmail.com; or SaritaFajitaBanana@yahoo.com; www.pridecenter.org; A program of recovery for compulsive overeaters using the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop eating compulsively. This is an OPEN meeting welcome to all. Meets at PCNJ on Mondays, 7:30pm.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays ―PFLAG Chapters ; info@pflag.org; http://community.pflag.org; Find a PFLAG Chapter near you. PFLAG was founded in 1981 by 25 parents concerned with society’s attitude toward their gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered children. Today, PFLAG represents more than 65,000 families and friends in the United States and speaks for the thousands of others who cannot. We are dedicated to providing support, education, and advocacy to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people, their families, and their friends. * PFLAG-Bergen County ; PO Box 1330, Ridgewood, NJ 07450; 201-2870318; info@BergenPFLAG.org; www.BergenPFLAG.org; We provide a safe, friendly space where parents and loved ones can voice their concerns about GLBT issues. Meets at Temple Beth-Or, 56 Ridgewood Rd, Washington Township, on the 3rd Tuesday of each month, 8-10pm; Newcomers, 7:30pm.

PFLAG-Collingswood ; PO Box 8941, Collingswood, NJ 08108; 609-2024622; pflagcollingswood@yahoo.com; www.pflag.org; Meetings are held at 771 Haddon Ave, Collingswood, NJ 08108, generally 4th Monday of each month, 6 to 8:30pm. See website to confirm meeting date each month. New members always welcome.

PFLAG-Hunterdon ; 908-752-1370; pflaghc@yahoo.com; Meetings are held at Flemington Presbyterian Church, 10 East Main St, Flemington, NJ, on the 3rd Tuesday of each month at 7:30pm.

PFLAG-Jersey Shore ; 1681 Ridgeway Rd. (Route 571), Toms River, NJ 08757; 908-814-2155; jerseyshorepflag@yahoo.com; www.jerseyshorepflag.org; Founded in 2004, the group meets at 7pm the 2nd Wednesday of each month at the United Church of Christ of Toms River. Not affiliated with any religion. See www.tomsriverucc.org for directions.

PFLAG-Morris County ; PO Box 490, Brookside, NJ 07926; 973-543-7229; craig.bcc@verizon.net; Meets at 7:30pm on the 2nd Monday of each month at Brookside Community Church, 8 E. Main St, Brookside. Directions at www.brooksidechurch.org. * PFLAG-North Jersey ; PO Box 4585, Wayne, NJ 07470; 908-789-7489; pflagwaver@aol.com; www.pflagnorthjersey.org; Meeting is located in South Orange, NJ. (Contact us by helpline or e-mail for exact location.) We now meet the 2nd THURSDAY of the month, from 7:30 to 9pm.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S PFLAG-Princeton; c/o HiTOPS Inc, 21 Wiggins St, Princeton, NJ 08540; 609-683-5155 x217; corrine@hitops.org; www.pflagprinceton.org; Meets the 2nd Monday of each month at Trinity Church, 33 Mercer St, Princeton, in the George Thomas Room at 7:30pm.

Pocono Warriors ; PO Box 338, Rahway, NJ 07065; CNJBrownBear@aol.com; www.poconowarriors.org; A Levi/Leather men’s club.

We meet several times a year, mostly in New York City and Philadelphia. We are involved in helping the leather community through sponsoring and participating in charitable fund raising events, including hosting our own annual “100 Men in the Woods.” * Pride Center of New Jersey ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; Mail: PO Box 5130, New Brunswick, NJ; 732846-2232; info@pridecenter.org; www.pridecenter.org; A fast-growing community center, The Pride Center provides a “safe space” for the LGBTIQ community: a place to learn about our community from a vast array of resources, a place to socialize and meet new friends, and a place to gain acceptance and understanding of your gender and sexual identity in a comfortable setting. The Pride Center offers a warm and welcoming atmosphere and a knowledgeable and helpful staff.

Whether New Jersey’s LGBTIQ community is new or familiar to you, The Pride Center is a place to call home and return to again and again. Open weeknights 7-10pm and some weekend evenings. See ad on page 80. * Rainbow Families of New Jersey ; PO Box 1385, Maplewood, NJ 07040; 973-763-8511; info@rainbowfamiliesnj.org; www.rainbowfamiliesnj.org; Provides a means for GLBT parents in New Jersey to form a community, supports other GLBT individuals in their efforts to become parents, fosters awareness of and respect for GLBT-headed households to the general public, and advocates for the issues and concerns that face GLBT families.

South Asian Lesbian and Gay Association (SALGA!) ; PO Box 524, Rahway, NJ 07065; 908-342-1625; cusp1221@gmail.com; SALGA-NJ is a social, political, and support group for GLBT people who trace their descent from South Asian countries. Meets at the Pride Center of NJ on the 3rd Saturday of the month from 4:30 to 6:30pm. * South Jersey NOW-Alice Paul Chapter ; PO Box 2801, Cherry Hill, NJ 08034; 856-778-8320; outreach@southjerseynow.org; www.southjerseynow.org; This chapter of NOW is involved in so many different activities that there is usually something for everyone. Whether your key issue is equal pay for equal work, ending violence against women, reproductive rights, child care, divorce law, women in politics, or ending racism, this chapter is doing something about it. Two free chapter newsletters sent on request (leave message on our answering machine or e-mail your request).

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S

New

85 Raritan Ave, First Floor Lo ca tio n!

Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701 Serving New Jersey's GLBTIQ community for more than 15 years.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S * Trenton Gay and Lesbian Civic Association ; PO Box 33209, 986 South Broad St, Trenton, NJ 08629-0209; 609-396-9788; info@tglca.com; www.tglca.com; Fosters greater participation of Trenton’s gays and lesbians in civic life, promotes the positive aspects of Trenton to gays and lesbians from other communities, and acts as a liaison between the gay and lesbian community and government. Meets every 3rd Wednesday of the month at 7pm at the Mill Hill Saloon, 300 S. Broad St. at Market St, Trenton.

TrueSelves; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 089042701; 201-704-2996; stephaniefyh@gmail.com; www.pridecenter.org; A facilitated support group exclusively for and about transgender-identified individuals, regardless of where on the transgender spectrum you believe you live. TrueSelves is a safe place where you can share your feelings and experiences in an open, nonjudgmental and accepting atmosphere. Meets at PCNJ 3 rd Sunday, 4-6pm.

Tuesday Night Lesbian Connection (TLC) ; 500 Mountain Ave, Bound Brook, NJ 08805; 732-371-3466; info4tnlc@yahoo.com; groups.yahoo.com/group/info4tnlc; Meets every Tuesday at 8pm in Freeman Chapel. Established in 1994 as a safe place for lesbians to socialize and support each other, we have helped create many lasting friendships and continue to provide the opportunity to meet and get to know others through a variety of discussion topics and activities. Send an e-mail to get on our e-mail list for a current schedule.

Women’s Coffee House ; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; www.pridecenter.org; Women’s Coffee House features musical entertainment, comedy, ice breakers, fun, and networking!

From September to May (Summer hiatus). Meets at PCNJ 1st Saturday, 7pm.

Writers Group; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 089042701; 732-846-2232; njwriter2006@hotmail.com; www.pridecenter.org; Writers and would-be writers meet to read and discuss works in progress in a supportive atmosphere, and more! Any genre is welcome. Meets at PCNJ every Thursday at 7:30pm.

PERSONAL SERVICES Lorraine Cannata, Certified Clinical Electrologist ; Morris County Area; 973-770-3552; Permanent hair removal. Hours by appointment. See ad on page 82.

Sue Harris, Private Tutor ; Morris County Area; 908-581-0098; sueharris59@yahoo.com; 33 years of tutoring experience. Specializing in Math and Computers. All grades and levels from Addition to Vectors. Plus science, English, and social studies. See ad on page 82.

Elias Scultori ; Personal/Professional Coaching; 732-419-2566; elias@lifecoaching-egs.com; www.lifecoaching-egs.com; Tired of vicious cycles?

Ready to embrace life? Let’s together build the path that will lead you to reaching your most important life goals and dreams. Yes, you can!

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PERSONAL SERVICES

Lorraine Cannata Certified Clinical Electrologist (Electrolysis is Forever) Permanent Hair Removal Hours by Appointment

973­770­3552

Tutoring By Sue! Specialties: Math & Computers.

Elementary through Graduate School.

All Topics: From Addition to Vectors, plus Science, English, & Social Studies.

Sue Harris: 908­581­0098 33 years of experience

PHYSICAL HEALTH

AND

FITNESS

F i t - W e l l P e r s o n a l T r a i n i n g , L L C ; Christopher Selitto, Owner & Certified Trainer; 37 Mountain Ave, Springfield, NJ 07081; 973-379-6366; fit-well@comcast.net; www.fitwelltraining.com; Personal trainers, fitness consultants, and certified massage therapists. See ad on page 83.

Healthy Transitions, LLC ; located near the border of Somerset and Morris Counties, NJ; 908-647-1688; Fax: 908-647-5180; www.healthytransitions.md; Our services include discreet medical care and counseling for gay, lesbian, bisexual, intersexed, and transgendered clients, as well as their families and friends. See article on page 14 and ad on page 83. [Dr. Lisa comes to GAAMC on June 28.]

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AND

FITNESS

Heartful Touch ; Dennis Sprick; 366 A Shore Dr, Montague, NJ 07827; 973-901-2306; theheartfultouch@yahoo.com; www.heartfultouch.com; Swedish massage, reflexology, and CranioSacral Therapy. In or outcalls, Gift Certificates available. Serving the GLBTI community since 1998. Call Dennis for an appointment.

Madison Dental Group ; 120 Park Ave, Madison, NJ 07940; 973-3777088; andrea@madisondentalgroup.com; www.madisondentalgroup.com.

Healthy Transitions, LLC is a practice developed by members of the GLBTI/Kink community for members of the GLBTI/Kink community and their families. We strive to create a confidential, safe and caring environment to provide quality medical and mental health services in one location. Dr. Lisa O’Connor specializes in:

Lisa O’Connor, M.D. Healthy Transitions, LLC Stirling, NJ www.healthytransitions.md Tel: 908-647-1688

FIT WELL

 Medical Management: medication management, supervised hormone replacement therapy  Mental Health Counseling  Primary Health Care  Free MtF Transgender Support Group  Public Speaking, Education, Seminars 37 Mountain Avenue Springfield, New Jersey

973-379-6366

Personal Training •

Individualized Exercise Programs

•

One-to-One Supervision

•

Certified Personal Trainers

•

Certified Massage Therapists

Christopher Selitto,

Owner & Certified Trainer

Serving the GLBTI Community Since 1992

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FITNESS

NJ Center for the Healing Arts ; 623 River Rd, Fair Haven, NJ 07704; 2006 Highway 71, Suite 2, Spring Lake, NJ 07762; 732-747-2944; www.njcha.org.

Planned Parenthood Affiliates of New Jersey ; PO Box 512, Trenton, NJ 08603-9985; 800-230-PLAN (7526) for your closest health center or 609-278-5863 for the public affairs office; info.ppanj@ppfa.org; www.plannedparenthoodnj.org; Planned Parenthood Affiliates of New Jersey is the statewide public affairs office that represents the 5 Planned Parenthood affiliates throughout the Garden State. Its role is to enhance our ability to protect reproductive freedom and to ensure access to reproductive health care to all New Jerseyans, regardless of individual circumstance. Collectively, Planned Parenthood operates 29 health centers around the state that provide high-quality, affordable medical care to approximately 85,500 patients each year.

Jonathan Taylor, Chiropractor ; 11 Pine St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973539-3444; www.TaylorChiro.net; NJ Lic. MC04015.

Union Family Medicine ; Dr. David Rizzo; 2300 Vauxhall Rd, Union, NJ 07083; 908-688-4424; Fax: 908-688-4832; info@UnionFamilyMedicine.com; www.UnionFamilyMedicine.com; NJ Lic. MB070080.

Visiting Nurse Association of Central Jersey ; 176 Riverside Ave, Red Bank, NJ 07701; 800-862-3330; www.vnacj.org; Compassionate, caring, patientcentered, delivered to you by people who take the time to know you, not just your medical history. We bring advanced care to where you’re most comfortable and can heal the fastest—your home.

Watchung Pediatrics ; 76 Stirling Rd, Suite 201, Warren, NJ 07059; 908755-5437; and 346 South Ave, Suite 3, Fanwood, NJ 07023; 908-889-8687; www.WatchungPediatrics.com; Committed to providing accessible and quality care to all children!

Women’s Health and Counseling Center ; Sexual Assault Support Services, 71 Fourth St, Somerville, NJ 08876; 908-526-2335 x 130; Hotline: 908526-7444.

Thomas S. Ziering, MD, FAAFP; 39 Olcott Square, Bernardsville, NJ 07924; 908-221-1919; Fax: 908-221-1005; Family Practice. GLBT Health. Still accepting new patients. Hours by appointment.

P R I N T /R A D I O /W E B Are You Entertained ; Posterity, Ink―Publisher, 21 Southside Ave, Somerville, NJ 08876; Bearealman (AT) gmail.com; www.myspace.com/bearealman; An antidote to corporate crap. A cure for the commonplace. AYE uncovers overlooked issues, stories, and perspectives in news, politics, society, and under-appreciated pop cultures which deserve greater appreciation. Produced & hosted by Bill Stella. A radio program in search of a good home. Listen: It’s coming back.

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P R I N T /R A D I O /W E B Challenge ; PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961; Challenge@gaamc.org; www.gaamc.org; The Best Damn Newsletter in New Jersey ®. A benefit of GAAMC membership, or available by subscription ($25/year). See ad on page 87.

GAAMC - Yahoo Group ; groups.yahoo.com/group/GAAMC; This group provides a forum for GAAMC members and non-members to exchange ideas and make announcements pertinent to our community.

The Gate; TheGateNews@Yahoogroups.com; Join e-mail list: thegatenewssubscribe@yahoogroups.com; Your Gateway to BDSM & Alternative Lifestyles: The Gate’s Mailing List - The Gate helps educate and promotes all events up and down the East Coast and then some.

Gayellow Pages; PO Box 533-GAA, Village Station, New York, NY 10014; 646-213-0263; gypages@gmail.com; www.gayellowpages.com; The ORIGINAL Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender yellow pages: since 1973. See ad on page 86.

GenderTalk! ; nancy@gendertalk.com; www.gendertalk.com; We’re the leading radio program advocating for transgender rights and dignity, while also exploring related issues that affect us all, like gender, sex, race, class, and more. So enjoy yourself. Poke around a bit. Listen to a program or two. Take your time.

We’ll leave the server on for you.

Generation Q; 732-932-7800 x913; wrsu@wrsu.rutgers.edu; wrsu.rutgers.edu; Queer Radio from New Brunswick with Pedro Serrano.

Wednesdays 2-4pm on WRSU-FM 88.7.

Highest Common Denominator ; 21 Southside Ave, Somerville, NJ 08876; Bearealman (AT) gmail.com; www.myspace.com/bearealman; Great music doesn’t end with the commercial. Fresh new music passionately presented, with context, musician contacts, and great segues. LGBT artists are my specialty.

Conscious music for conscious folks. Produced & hosted by Bill Stella. Please send concert announcements & music for review in “Dancing To Architecture,” my music review column in every issue of Challenge , the GAAMC newsletter, or for airplay on HCD: a podcast or live web radio program in search of a good home. Listen: It’s coming back.

The KidDictionary: Words People Need To Describe Kids by Eric Ruhalter; www.TheKidDictionary.com; Watch the funny videos and buy the book online. See article on page 17.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Directory of Services and Resources; New York City Office of the Comptroller, 1 Centre St, New York, NY 10007-2341; 212-669-2697; action@comptroller.nyc.gov; www.comptroller.nyc.gov/bureaus/cac/faq.shtm#seven; The directory includes information from New York City and the metropolitan area, including New Jersey.

The directory also is available online in PDF format.

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P R I N T /R A D I O /W E B New Jersey Leather ; Info@NewJerseyLeather.com; groups.yahoo.com/group/NewJerseyLeather; www.NewJerseyLeather.com; A resource and forum created to serve as a clearinghouse for information relating to the Leather, Bear, BDSM/Kink related events, information and resources that are important to the members of our community in New Jersey, NYC, Philly and the surrounding areas.

New Jersey Southern Shores Rainbow Directory ; PO Box 812, Cape May, NJ 08204; 609-861-1848; rainbowdirectory@gmail.com; www.njrainbowdirectory.com; Published by GABLES of Cape May County, Inc. An annual directory of businesses and organizations that proudly serve the LGBTQI community of New Jersey. Winner of the NJ Governor’s Award for Excellence in Tourism. See ad on page 89.

NJGayLife.com; Bonnie Kantor, c/o Pressing Issues, PO Box 224, Metuchen, NJ 08840; 732-549-9054; Fax: 732-549-9056; www.njgaylife.com; The original, the official, and still the best website for the GLBTI community in New Jersey since 1997. See ad on page 89. * Out IN Jersey magazine ; 743 Hamilton Ave, Trenton, NJ 08629; 609213-9310; Fax: 609-599-2304; peterfrycki@outinjersey.net; www.outinjersey.net; New Jersey’s free and independent source for GLBTI news and views. See ad on page 88.

CHALLENGE The Newsletter of the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County Serving New Jersey’s GLBTI Communities Since 1972 The Best Damn Newsletter in New Jersey® Always seeking articles, opinion pieces, reviews, fiction, poetry, advertisements, and more. If it’s on your mind, it should be in Challenge!

Subscriptions are free with membership; non-members can subscribe for only $25/year. For more information, or to send submissions, contact the Editor at Challenge@GAAMC.org

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P R I N T /R A D I O /W E B

Congratulates The Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County (GAAMC) and the 28th edition of Pride Guide.

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P R I N T /R A D I O /W E B New Jersey Southern Shores Rainbow Directory New Jersey’s Largest Gay Tourism Publication

PO Box 812, Cape May, NJ 08204-0812 609-861-1848 rainbowdirectory@gmail.com www.njrainbowdirectory.com One Ad – One Time – One Price Published by GABLES of Cape May County, Inc. An annual directory of organizations and businesses that proudly serve the LGBTQI community of New Jersey.

Winner of the NJ Governor’s Award for Excellence in Tourism

R E A L E S TAT E S E R V I C E S Charles Eader; Keller Williams Realty, 2230 Route 206, Belle Mead, NJ 08502; 201-513-0926; Fax: 908-470-0713; cpeader@kw.com; www.charleseader.com; Specializing in all of the Somerset Hills and northern Somerset County. See ad on page 90.

Robert Kohl Agent ; Re/Max Renown Realty, 770 Route 10, Randolph, NJ 07869; Office: 973-361-8400; Res: 908-852-7234; Cell: 973-479-2899; bob5211@aol.com; www.bobkohl.com; Serving our community since 1989.

Covering all of Morris, Sussex, and Warren Counties.

Robert Ort; Weichert Realtors, 64 Main St, Chatham, NJ 07928; Office: 973-635-5000; Cell: 973-476-5505; Fax: 973-635-5086; chathambobort@aol.com; www.bobort.com.

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R E A L E S TAT E S E R V I C E S Your REALTOR® in the Somerset Hills

Charles Eader, REALTOR® 2230 Route 206, Belle Mead, NJ 08502

Mid­Town Direct Realty

Office: (973) 913-8070 Cell: (201) 513-0926 cpeader@KW.com www.CharlesEader.com

Each Keller Williams Realty office is independently owned and operated.

R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y Bound Brook Presbyterian Church ; 409 Mountain Ave, Bound Brook, NJ 08805; 732-356-3575; info@bbpc.org; www.bbpc.org; People of all sexual orientations will find a safe and affirming place here. Services Sat. at 5pm and Sun. at 9 & 11am. Father’s Day through Labor Day—one Sun. service at 9:30am.

Central Unitarian Church of Bergen County ; 156 Forest Ave, Paramus, NJ 07652; 201-262-6300; Fax: 201-262-6369; www.cucparamus.org; We are a church without creed or dogma. Our faith emphasizes the inherent worth and dignity of all people, personal religious integrity, moral commitment, and a free and responsible search for truth and meaning. We welcome all people of good faith and, as a Welcoming Congregation, make a special effort to be inclusive of GLBTI people. Sunday services are at 10:30am.

Christ Episcopal Church ; 74 Park Ave, Glen Ridge, NJ 07028; 973-743-5911; Fax: 973-743-0216; ccinbgnj@verizon.net; www.christchurchepiscopal.org; Christ Church is a diverse, inclusive Episcopal parish in the Diocese of Newark. We welcome all of God’s people with open arms. Our building is wheelchair-accessible.

Church of the Redeemer ; 36 South St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-539-0703; redeemer11@verizon.net; www.redeemermorristown.org; A Christian Liberation community in the Episcopal Tradition. We Are One Family.

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R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y Do You Believe in Miracles?

30 miracle workers fed 10,000 in Passaic in 2009.

Immediate positions available

First Presbyterian Church 112 Washington Pl., Passaic, NJ 07055 973­473­4107 www.passaicpresbyterian.org

We celebrate God’s gift of grace to everyone.

Please join us:

11:00am Sunday Worship

Offering GLBT Social gatherings, Union Services, music, baptisms, food programs, Bible Study, prayer, thrift shop, community service opportunities

MUF is a Welcoming Congregation You are welcome to join us: Regular services are at 9:00am and at 11:00am.

During the Summer and on “special” Sundays, we have only one 10:00am Service.

21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960 973-540-1177 www.muuf.org

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R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y Dignity Metropolitan New Jersey ; c/o St George’s Episcopal Church, 550 Ridgewood Rd, Maplewood, NJ 07040; 973-509-0118; dignitymetronj@msn.com; www.metronj.dignityusa.org; Support group for Northern NJ GLBT Catholics. Services 1st and 3rd Sundays at 4pm.

Dignity New Brunswick ; PO Box 10781, New Brunswick, NJ 08906; 732968-9263; dignitynb@earthlink.net; http://home.earthlink.net/~dignitynb; For GLBT Catholics and friends, we meet at the New Brunswick Quaker Meeting House twice monthly for liturgies and social events.

Emanuel Evangelical Lutheran Church ; New & Kirkpatrick Streets, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; 732-545-2673; emanuelnb.org@gmail.com; www.emanuelnb.org; Emanuel is a warm, friendly, gay welcoming church. Regular services are Sunday mornings at 10:30, summer services (June—August) are at 9:30.

Large gay/lesbian membership. The pastor is Jeffrey Eaton.

First Presbyterian & Trinity Church ; 111 Irvington Ave, South Orange, NJ 07079; 973-762-7879; www.diversechurch.com; Sunday worship 10:30am. A More Light Church, welcoming GLBTI people.

First Presbyterian, Passaic ; 112 Washington Pl, Passaic, NJ 07055; 973473-4107; info@passaicpresbyterian.org; www.passaicpresbyterian.org. See ad on page 91.

Liberation in Truth Unity Fellowship Church ; 11 Halsey St, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-621-2100 or 973-424-9555; JanyceLJ@aol.com; www.litufc.org; LITUFC is a member of the Unity Fellowship Movement. Our Social Justice Ministry proclaims the sacredness of all life and focuses on empowering those who have been oppressed. We believe that God’s Love is for Everyone regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation. Founded in 1995 to provide a safe and spiritual worship space for the LGBTI community. Service held Sundays at 1:30pm.

Metropolitan Community Church of Christ the Liberator ; PO Box 7422, North Brunswick, NJ 08902; 732-846-8227; info@mccctl.com; www.mccctl.com; MCC-CTL―Helping All People Believe that God Believes in Them!

Morristown Unitarian Fellowship ; 21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-540-1177; amiller@muuf.org; www.muuf.org; Unitarian Universalism has a long-standing commitment to the full inclusion and affirmation of all persons, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. We Stand on the Side of Love. See ad on page 91. * New Jersey’s Lesbian and Gay Havurah ; PO Box 2576, Edison, NJ 08818-2576; 732-650-1010; info@njhav.org; www.njhav.org; A circle of friends celebrating our Jewish heritage. NJLGH is a state-wide organization serving the needs of the GLBTI Jewish community since 1991 by providing social, religious, cultural, and education activities every month. See ad on page 94.

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R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y The OASIS in the Episcopal Diocese of New Jersey ; 732-591-9210 (Trinity Church, Matawan); 973-783-9533 (St. John’s Church, Elizabeth); oasisnj@comcast.net; http://oasisnj.home.comcast.net; Ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of New Jersey with GLBT and heterosexual people.

The OASIS in the Episcopal Diocese of Newark ; 31 Mulberry St, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-430-9909; chair@oasisnewark.org; http://theoasis.dioceseofnewark.org; Ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of Newark with GLBT and heterosexual people.

Skylands Unitarian Universalist Fellowship ; 1811 Route 57, Hackettstown, NJ 07840; Mail: PO Box 7110, Hackettstown, NJ 07840; 908-684-4040; www.skylandsuu.org; We celebrate the inherent worth and dignity of every person and welcome GLBTI people into all aspects of congregational life. Sunday service, 10:15 to 11:30am. For more information, contact Joyce Morrissey at 908-875-8839.

St. Peter’s Episcopal Church ; 380 Clifton Ave, Clifton, NJ 07011; 973546-5020; revpdefranco@optonline.net; www.stpetersclifton.org; Sunday services: 8:00am and 10:15am.

Stanley Congregational Church, United Church of Christ ; 94 Fairmount Ave, Chatham, NJ 07928; 973-635-7723; Fax: 973-635-7702; office@stanleychurch.org; www.stanleychurch.org; Wherever you are on life’s journey, we welcome you. Worship Service Sundays at 10am.

Temple Beth Ahm Yisrael ; 60 Temple Dr, Springfield, NJ 07081; 973376-0539; execdirector@templebethahmyisrael.com; www.templebethahmyisrael.com; A Conservative Egalitarian synagogue in Union County. We are an inclusive congregation, welcoming the broader community of mature couples, singles, “traditional” Jewish families, interfaith families, and gay, lesbian, and transgendered Jews. We are dedicated to enriching the lives of our congregational family by providing an inviting environment for spiritual, educational, and social interaction and growth. Our Jewish Gay and Lesbian Education and Outreach Committee sponsors meetings and events throughout the year.

Unitarian Church in Summit ; 4 Waldron Ave, Summit, NJ 07901; 908273-3245; Fax: 908-273-5190; uucs@ucsummit.org; www.ucsummit.org; Like other Unitarian-Universalist congregations, we embrace a set of guiding principles but do not have a creed, or fixed set of beliefs, that members are expected to adopt. We are a Welcoming Congregation.

Unitarian Society of Ridgewood ; 113 Cottage Pl, Ridgewood, NJ 07450; 201444-6225; Fax: 201-444-9818; usr.administrator@verizon.net; www.uuridgewood.org; A place where you will find inspiration in the richness of diverse beliefs and the power of community. Services during the school year are held at 9:00am and 10:30am. Summer services are held at 10:00. We welcome and affirm GLBTQ people. The Living the Welcoming committee works to enhance the understanding of GLBTI issues. Join us! See ad on page 94.

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R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y Unitarian Universalist Church at Washington Crossing ; 268 Washington Crossing-Pennington Rd, Titusville, NJ 08560; 609-737-0515; uucwc@uucwc.org; www.uucwc.org; Unanimously affirms the right of same-gender couples to be married.

Unitarian Society of Ridgewood We have been a Welcoming Congregation (GLBTI) since 1998 We Welcome YOU! Come Visit US! A HOME FOR YOUR SPIRIT! It is a house of freedom, guarding the dignity and worth of every person. It is a house of friendships, a haven in trouble, an open room for the encouragement of our struggle.

This house is a cradle for our dreams, the workshop of our common endeavor.

Mission Statement: Growing in Mind and Spirit, We Act Together as a Beacon for Justice and Love, Transforming Self and World.

113 Cottage Place Ridgewood, NJ 07450 201­444­6225

Services: Sunday 9:00 & 10:30am Summer: Sunday 10:00am www.uuridgewood.org

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R E L I G I O N /S P I R I T U A L I T Y Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Somerset Hills ; Office: 45 North Gaston Ave, Suite 1D, Somerville, NJ 08876; 908-927-0601; Fax: 908-9270604; uucsh@uucsh.org; www.uucsh.org; Services: 10:00am, Sundays. Check our website or call the office for service location. We welcome all, regardless of color, creed, or sexual orientation. See ad below.

Unitarian Universalist Ocean County Congregation ; PO Box 5184, Toms River, NJ 08754; 732-244-3455; uuocc_nj@yahoo.com; www.uuocc.org; A Welcoming Congregation. Services are on Sundays at 2pm at UCC of Toms River, 1681 Ridgeway Rd, (Route 571). See www.tomsriverucc.org for directions.

United Church of Christ of Toms River ; 1681 Ridgeway Rd. (Route 571), Toms River, NJ 08757; 732-244-4014; Pastor_Linda@tomsriverucc.org; www.tomsriverucc.org; No matter who you are or where you are on life’s journey, you are welcome here. Regular services are Sundays at 11am. Call for wheelchair access information.

Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Somerset Hills We welcome all, regardless of color, creed, or sexual orientation.

Sunday Services: 10:00am

Contact the office or see our website for service location.

Visit our website to read our statement on marriage equality.

908-927-0601

R E TA I L

uucsh@uucsh.org www.uucsh.org

AND

OTHER BUSINESSES

Braunschweiger ; 33 South St, Morristown, NJ 07960; and New Providence & Warren, NJ; 973-538-2189; www.braunschweiger.com; Providing jewelry, watches, and gifts for all life’s special occasions for nearly 50 years in Morristown.

See ad on page 96.

DJG Associates ; 18 Passaic Ave, Unit 6, Fairfield, NJ 07004; 973-276-7901; Fax: 973-276-7902; www.djgonline.com; Proud printer of GAAMC’s Pride Guide for the seventh year! See ad on page 97.

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OTHER BUSINESSES

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RETAIL

AND

OTHER BUSINESSES

Creating & producing the visual image

– Graphic Design Services – Letterheads and Business Cards – Media Kits, Brochures and Catalogs – Postcards, Pamphlets and Handouts – Posters, Banners and Signs – Vehicle Wraps and Adhesive Graphics – Tradeshow Materials and Premium Items – Mailing, Bindery and Fulfillment Items

Contact Annie Magliano

DJG Associates, Inc.

annie@s1cg.com

18 Passaic Avenue, Unit 6

973.276.7901

Fairfield, NJ 07004

w w w. d j g o n l i n e . c o m Check out our new vehicle wrap division at: Ve r y C o o l Wr a p s . c o m

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SOCIAL SERVICES Does your relationship feel ●

● ●

Do you feel like you’re “walking on eggshells” in your relationship?

Have you lost the person you once were?

Do you spend most of your time trying to figure out what your partner needs, and not what you need?

●

Is your partner overly jealous and possessive?

●

Do you feel isolated from your friends and family?

●

Does your partner get “too angry,” hitting walls, yelling loudly, or threatening you or others?

●

Are you afraid no one would believe you?

●

Never thought this could happen to someone like you?

●

Don’t know where to turn to for help?

You are not alone.

We understand and want to help.

Call to speak with a counselor. It is free and confidential.

24-Hour Helpline: 973-267-4763

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SOCIAL SERVICES J.B.W.S.; PO Box 1437, Morristown, NJ 07962; Office: 973-267-7520; 24hour Helpline: 973-267-4763; Fax: 973-605-5898; info@jbws.org; www.jbws.org; Based in Morris County, NJ, JBWS is a full service agency for addressing intimate partner violence. The services include a 24-hour helpline; counseling; safe house; transitional living; children’s services; life skills education; vocational counseling; batterer’s intervention; legal assistance; teen dating abuse services; and professional training, education, and prevention programs. See ad on page 98.

S P O R T S /R E C R E AT I O N Central New Jersey Pride Bowlers League (CNJPBL) ; Bowling at Stelton Lanes, 1665 Stelton Rd, Piscataway, NJ 08854; cnjpbl@yahoo.com; www.cnjpbl.com; Fabulous fun times Tuesday nights at 9:15pm. Season runs from September to the end of April. Please see our website for summer socials.

East Coast Women’s Baseball League ; 629 Campgaw Rd, Mahwah, NJ 07430; 201-825-1534; ajadler03@hotmail.com; www.scorebook.com/womensbaseball; A baseball league for women and girls of all ages and skill levels. Players hail from NJ, NY, CT, and PA. Garden State Gay Bowling Organization (GSGBO) ; info@GSGBO.com; www.gsgbo.com; A fun social, mixed bowling league open to all bowlers, regardless of sex, race, religion, or sexual orientation, meeting at Nationwide Hudson Lanes (1 Garfield Ave, Jersey City, NJ) Tuesday nights at 8pm. Season runs from September to May. Just Cruising Womyn’s Motorcycle Club ; JustCruising143@aol.com; www.hometown.aol.com/dschnorbus/JustCruising.html; We ride almost every weekend (weather permitting). Why don’t you join us for a casual ride through the beautiful NJ countryside?

Metro Wrestling Club ; PO Box 1913, Radio City Station, NY, NY, Gay Community Center, 208 W 13th St, New York, NY 10011; 917-547-2656; mgwa@metrowrestling.org; www.Metrowrestling.org; The only adult freestyle wrestling club in New York City, we have practice on Saturdays 5-7pm @ Fighthouse, 37 West 26th Street, Penthouse, Manhattan. 917-547-2656, $12 Admission. Practice Sunday afternoon 2-5pm, at The LGBT Community Center, 208 West 13th St. $10 Admission. Beginners’ practice every first Sunday of the month 2-5pm, at The LGBT Community Center, 208 W. 13th St, Room 412.

Metro Wrestling teaches an introductory class in freestyle wrestling for beginners on the first Sunday every month. Please bring gym shorts, a T-shirt, and sneakers to the practice.

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S P O R T S /R E C R E AT I O N Nature Center of Cape May ―New Jersey Audubon Society ; 1600 Delaware Ave, Cape May, NJ 08204; 609-898-8848; nccm@njaudubon.org; www.njaudubon.org/centers/nccm; Founded in 1992, with the twin goals of creating a responsible stewardship program for open space surrounding Cape May Harbor and providing environmental education for all.

New Jersey Eagles Motorcycle Club ; Asbury Park, NJ 07712; dave@njeagles.com; www.njeagles.com; New Jersey’s largest and oldest gay men’s motorcycle club. The Eagles MC focuses exclusively on riding, and the bonds and brotherhood that riding together brings. We serve the entire tri-state area, with members primarily from New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

North Jersey Gay and Lesbian Bowlers (NJGLB) ; 66 Bergen Blvd, West Paterson, NJ 07424; 973-256-5936; 201-247-2427; njglb@njglb.org; www.njglb.org; A Rock ’n’ Bowl league meeting on Tuesday nights at 9:10pm (September to May) at Brunswick Olympic Bowl, 679 Washington Ave, Belleville.

Outbike NJ ; OutbikeNJ@yahoo.com; www.outbikenewjersey.org; GLBT Bicycle club located in Northern NJ. Beginner to advanced. Road and off-road rides.

Queen City Rollers Mixed Bowling League ; qcrollers@aol.com; hometown.aol.com/qcrollers; rachelrak1@aol.com; A fun, social bowling league for the GLBT community and all their friends. Seasons run from September to May. The league meets Mondays at 8pm at Strike ’N Spare Lanes, 380 Route 22 in Green Brook, NJ. TEAMNJ; New Jersey’s GLBTI Sports and Recreational Organization; 908234-1481; info@teamnj.org; www.teamnj.org; http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TEAMNJ; We give New Jersey’s athletes and recreationalists an organization that promotes a stronger community through various activities. TEAMNJ is a resource for athletes, spectators, and other sports organizations and makes all the preparations for NJ’s athletes attending the Gay Games.

SURROGACY Reproductive Possibilities, LLC ; 1 Paragon Dr, Suite 160, Montvale, NJ 07645; 201-505-0078; info@reproductivepossibilities.com; www.reproductivepossibilities.com; Surrogacy Specialists; Let us help you build your family! See article on page 26 and ad on page 101.

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SURROGACY

Imagine the possibilities.

We can help you realize your dream of creating or expanding your family by: • •

Maintaining an extensive database of gestational carriers

Quickly matching you with a gestational carrier that is right for you

•

Providing constant guidance and support to both you and your carrier during your arrangement

Hundreds of Babies Born Each Year

201-505-0078 info@reproductivepossibilities.com www.reproductivepossibilities.com A Melissa Brisman Owned Company

Y O U T H /Y O U N G A D U L T S * African American Office of Gay Concerns ; 877 Broad St, Suite 211, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-639-0700; Brother@aaogc.org; www.aaogc.org; The AAOGC serves as a resource for the GLBTI community, focusing on HIV prevention, particularly for young men of color, as well as transgender and questioning youth. Located in downtown Newark. All people are welcome, regardless of race or gender affiliation.

Bloomfield College Gay/Non-Gay Alliance ; 467 Franklin St, Bloomfield, NJ 07003; 973-748-9000; GNG_Alliance@bloomfield.edu; http://users.bloomfield.edu/clubs/gaynongayalliance; Established in 1998, the Alliance has taken on the mission of positively addressing issues affecting the effective communication and relationship between gay and non-gay persons.

Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE) ; c/o RFNJ, PO Box 1385, Maplewood, NJ 07040; 973-763-8511; info@rainbowfamiliesnj.org; The NJ Chapter of COLAGE meets 6-10 times per year and holds fun events for Children of Lesbian and Gay Families in NJ, ages 9 and over. COLAGE usually meets during the scheduled events of Rainbow Families of NJ, as well as at separate events. For more information on future events please e-mail us.

The College of New Jersey: PRISM ; 2000 Pennington Rd, The College of New Jersey, Ewing, NJ 08628; 609-771-2390; prism@tcnj.edu; http://prismattcnj.weebly.com; TCNJ’s only group for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered people, and heterosexuals who support the movement for equality for all, regardless of sexuality. Meetings are at 3:30pm every Wednesday in Room 16 of the Student Center.

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Y O U T H /Y O U N G A D U L T S County College of Morris Pride Coalition ; County College of Morris, Center Grove Rd, Randolph, NJ 07869; GLBTI student organization.

Drew University: The Alliance ; 36 Madison Ave, Madison, NJ 07940; alliance@drew.edu; www.groups.drew.edu/alliance; The Drew University Alliance is a student-run organization that works toward unifying the GLBTQ community with off-campus communities through education and awareness.

Family Acceptance Project ; San Francisco State University, 3004 - 16th St, #301, San Francisco, CA 94103; fap@sfsu.edu; http://familyproject.sfsu.edu; The Family Acceptance Project™ (FAP) is a community research, intervention, and education initiative that studies the impact of family acceptance and rejection on the health, mental health, and well-being of LGBT young people. FAP develops materials to help ethnically diverse families support their LGBT children, and is developing a new research-based family model of wellness, prevention, and care for LGBT children and adolescents that will be disseminated across the U.S. GLBT National Youth Talkline ; a program of the GLBT National Help Center; 2261 Market St, PMB #296, San Francisco, CA 94114; 800-246-PRIDE (800246-7743); Youth@GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org; www.YouthTalkline.org; Offers free and confidential peer-counseling and local information for callers ages 25 and younger.

GLBT Student Pride Network ; bates@glbtstudentpride.com; www.glbtstudentpride.com; GLBT Student Pride is an online resource and community social networking site for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning students, their allies and others who are interested in GLBT issues.

GSANI – Gay-Straight Alliance Network International (An initiative of GABLES); PO Box 641, Cape May Court House, NJ 08210; 609-861-1848; gables00@email.com; www.gsani.org; A web based initiative to unite GLBT youth around the world: A Network of GSA’s, youth groups, and individuals around the world―supplying a dynamic, productive, and concerned network of GLBT youths with information and direction on the gay world they live and thrive in.

HiTops Inc: Health Interested Teens’ OwnProgram on Sexuality; 21 Wiggins St, Princeton, NJ 08540; 609-683-5155 x217; corrine@hitops.org; www.hitops.org; Comprehensive community services for GLBTQ youth.

Kean University: P.R.I.D.E. (Peers, Respect, Interaction, Diversity, Equality) (Formerly BiHG-TALK); Office of Student Life and Leadership Development, 1000 Morris Ave, Union, NJ 07083; 908-737-5170; KeanPRIDE@gmail.com; www.kean.edu/resident_clubs.html#2; PRIDE’s goal is to come together with new and improved ideas as they set out to protect and respect the pride of the gay, lesbian, transgendered, transsexual, intersexed, bisexual, questioning, and ally community. Regular meetings during academic calendar year, scheduled at the beginning of each semester.

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Y O U T H /Y O U N G A D U L T S LEAGUE Foundation; One AT&T Way, Rm 4B214J, Bedminster, NJ 07921-2694; 571-354-4525; info@leaguefoundation.org; www.leaguefoundation.org; Established in 1996, the organization has grown into a national scholarship fund reaching all 50 states with support from corporations, individuals, and other GLBT organizations. See article on page 20 and ad below.

Montclair: Sexuality, Pride, EduCation, Truth, Respect and Unity @ Montclair State (SPECTRUMS) ; c/o Student Government Association, Montclair State University, 1 Normal Ave, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-655-3417; spectrums.msu@gmail.com; www.geocities.com/SPECTRUMS_MSU; A student organization dedicated to educating the community about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender issues.

National Youth Advocacy Coalition ; 1638 R St, NW, Suite 300, Washington, DC 20009; 800-541-6922; 202-319-7596; Fax: 877-492-8916; nyac@nyacyouth.org; www.nyacyouth.org; The National Youth Advocacy Coalition (NYAC) is a social justice organization that advocates for and with young people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning (LGBTQ) in an effort to end discrimination against these youth and to ensure their physical and emotional well-being.

New Jersey City University: LGBT and Friends Alliance ; njculgbtfa@gmail.com.

New Jersey Institute of Technology: Spectrum ; spectrum.njit@gmail.com.

Passaic County Community College ; One College Blvd, Patterson, NJ 07505; 973-684-6652; rgetso@pccc.edu; LGBT club open to students of PCCC. Princeton University BTGALA ; scowls@alumni.princeton.edu; http://tigernet.princeton.edu/~ffr-gala.

Acceptance … Acknowledgement …

Leadership Every student has the right and the potential to excel.

LEAGUE Foundation provides financial resources for America’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender youth to attend institutions of higher learning to meet this mission.

Charles Eader, Executive Director info@LEAGUEFoundation.org www.LEAGUEFoundation.org

1 AT&T Way Room 4B214J Bedminster, NJ 07921 (908) 234­7484

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Y O U T H /Y O U N G A D U L T S Princeton University LGBT Center ; lgbt@princeton.edu; www.princeton.edu/lgbt.

Princeton University Pride Alliance ; The LGBT Center, 246 Frist Campus Center, Princeton, NJ 08544; pride@princeton.edu; www.princeton.edu/~pride; Founded in 1972, the Princeton Pride Alliance represents the interests of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning members of the community at Princeton University in all matters which affect and are relevant to it.

Princeton University Queer Graduate Caucus ; qgc@princeton.edu; www.princeton.edu/~qgc.

Project 10 East ; PO Box 300328, Jamaica Plain, MA 02130; 617-864GLBT (4528); ed@project10east.org; www.project10east.org; Project 10 East creates and sustains safe space within schools by offering support to GLBT youth, their peers, educators, and families. By developing an enduring relationship with the school community, Project 10 East helps shape the skills necessary for GLGT youth to have an unobstructed path toward success both academically and personally.

Ramapo College of New Jersey ―Gay Peer Services ; 505 Ramapo Valley Rd, Mahwah, NJ 07430; 201-684-6209; GPS@ramapo.edu; www.queerramapo.org; Gay Peer Services attempts to establish a more diverse, safe environment for students, faculty, and staff at the college. Meets Mondays at 1pm in the Women’s Center, C-220.

Raritan Valley Community College : The Alliance; 118 Lamington Rd, Branchburg, NJ 08876; Joseph Forte, jfor4643@smail.raritanval.edu; Rebecca Case, advisor, rcase@raritanval.edu; Meets only during fall and spring semesters.

Rider University Gay Straight Alliance ; 2083 Lawrenceville Rd, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648; ridergsa@rider.edu; www-usr.rider.edu/~gsa; Rider GSA is an organization dedicated to bringing the campus community together on the topics of homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, transgenderism, and the intersexed. Rider GSA aims to break down sexual and gender-based stereotypes while providing a comfortable atmosphere for its members. Rider GSA also bridges connections of Rider University as well as other schools and community organizations. Meets at 10pm on Monday nights in the Bart Luedeke Center, only during fall and spring semesters.

Rowan University Gay-Straight Alliance ; 201 Mullica Hill Rd, Glassboro, NJ 08028; 856-256-4500, x3127; www.rowan.edu/mars/clubs/gsa; An organization supporting unity between GLBT and heterosexual students.

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Y O U T H /Y O U N G A D U L T S Rutgers University - Newark Campus: (RU Pride) Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Straight Alliance ; Office: 101 Warren St, Smith Hall, Room 341, Newark, NJ 07102; rupride@pegasus.rutgers.edu; rupridenewark@gmail.com; http://lgbt.newark.rutgers.edu; RU Pride was founded in 2008 as a driving force for achieving resources, awareness, and acceptance for the Rutgers LGBT campus community and greater Newark area. Meetings every Wednesday at 2:30pm-3:50pm and every other Wednesday 8pm-9:30pm.

Rutgers University: Bisexual/Gay/Lesbian Alliance at Rutgers University (BiGLARU) ; Rutgers College Student Activities Center, SAC Box 91, 13 George St, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; biglaru_biglaru@yahoo.com; http://comminfo.rutgers.edu/~biglaru; Serves the GLBT community in its mission to strive for universal acceptance and equality. Founded in 1969 as the Rutgers Homophile League, the second ever collegiate GLBT organization in the United States. Meets in Murray Hall Room 211, Thursdays at 9:30pm.

Trevor Project ; 9056 Santa Monica Blvd, Suite 208, West Hollywood, CA 90069; 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386); info@thetrevorproject.org; www.thetrevorproject.org; The only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention lifeline for LGBTQ youth. See ad on page 106.

William Paterson University, C.H.O.S.E.N. ; 300 Pompton Rd, Wayne, NJ 07470; 551-486-2739; wpu_chosen@student.wpunj.edu; www.wix.com/chosengsa/info; C.H.O.S.E.N. Is the gay-straight alliance club at WPU. Youth Drop-In; PCNJ, 85 Raritan Ave, First Floor, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701; 732-846-2232; info@pridecenter.org; www.pridecenter.org; This is a safe, friendly, fun, caring, social space open to LGBTIQQ youth and their allies for youth 17 and under. Meets at PCNJ on the 2nd and 4th Saturdays from 1-4pm.

GRAANJ Gender Rights Advocacy Association of New Jer sey njgender@aol.com — 732-603-0514 119 Manor Dr, Red Bank, NJ 07701

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Y O U T H /Y O U N G A D U L T S The Trevor Project is the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth.

The Trevor Project operates the only accredited, nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBTQ youth.

If you or a friend are feeling lost or alone, call The Trevor Helpline.

There is hope, there is help.

866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386) info@thetrevorproject.org www.thetrevorproject.org The Trevor Project 9056 Santa Monica Blvd Suite 208 West Hollywood, CA 90069

INSTITUTE FOR PERSONAL GROWTH

IPG COUNSELING Since 1983 Caring for our mental health needs Serving gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, And others on the sexual vanguard • • • •

Largest center in NJ/NY Offices in Highland Park, Jersey City, Freehold, NYC Comprehensive services Insurance, managed care, flexfees

8 south third avenue/highland park/08904 281 pavonia avenue/jersey city/07302 90 west main street/freehold/07728 (800)379-9220 (732)246-8439

www.ipgcounseling.com

In This Issue 2010 Schedule OpenTalk New Circles Forming

Quick Links GAAMC.org Our Yahoo! Group Our Facebook Group Pride Guide

2010 Schedule Socials 5/31 – 6/14 – 7/5 – 7/26 – 9/6 – 9/13 – 10/4 – 10/25 – 11/22 – 12/20 –

Memorial Day BBQ Pride Social July 4th Ice Cream Social Gayme Night Labor Day BBQ GAAMC’s 38th Anniversary Gayme Night Halloween Social Thanksgiving Social Holiday Social

eNews from GAAMC Our little eNewsletter has continued to grow since it started in June of 2008. If you would like to subscribe, simply send a blank e-mail to News@GAAMC.org, with "Subscribe" as the subject.

OpenTalk OpenTalk is an informal rap group that meets for about one hour each week. "Talkers" update each other on the major events of their lives from the past week, before the general discussion. Weekly topics are selected by participants. OpenTalk is lead by Elias Scultori, and is held most Monday's in the Library, from 7 until 8pm. All are welcome. See page 9.

New "Circles" Group Forming Soon Gordon and friends are forming a new Circles discussion group that will begin on Monday, March 1st, and run for approximately 8 weeks.

The group is limited to only 8 to 10 participants, so please register at your earliest convenience by contacting Gordon at Discussions@GAAMC.org.

Lively Arts Series

If you are not familiar with Circles, please click on the Circles logo, and like a magic oracle, the answers you seek shall be 8/2 – Shakespeare: As You Like It revealed to you. [OK. If this were a real eNewsletter, that 8/30 – GAAMC Chorus would work. Since this is print, you’ll have to look on page 5.]

6/21 – Storyteller Tim Tyler

9/20 – $1.98 Beauty Pageant 12/6 – Winter Concert 12/13 – Holiday Show

See page 34 for more programs.

The listings in this e-mail are just the tip of the iceberg. Check out our Upcoming Programs at: www.gaamc.org/programs.html

Medical, Spiritual, Legal Topics: June 28, 8pm. Dr. Lisa Explains It All To You. July 19, 8pm. Green Earth Ministry – MUF. October 18, 8pm. Cutting Edge Issues: Family Formation and Protection in the 21st Century with attorney Bill Singer.

GAAMC is Dynamic!