2011-2012 GAAMC.org Pride Guide

Pride Guide 2011 - 2012

A Guide to LGBTI New Jersey, brought to you as a community service of

KEVIN P. SUSZKO, CPA, PC

Certified Public Accountant Tax Planning & Preparation Accounting Services Financial Planning Day & Evening Appointments Suszko & Cimera, LLP PO Box 701 Short Hills, NJ 07078 973-376-4121 KPSCPA@gmail.com

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2011

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Pride Guide 2011 A Guide to Gay New Jersey

Published in May 2011 by The Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County, a 501(c)3 not-for-profit corporation.

Serving New Jersey’s Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Intersexed Community Since 1972.

Table of Contents Information and Articles

Welcome to Pride Guide 2011 by Andy Skurna ............................................................... 4 President’s Letter by Mickey Suiter .................................................................................. 5 Tomorrow is Too Late by Paul Zilber..................................................................................6 All About GAAMC ............................................................................................. 8, 9, 10, 11 Mother Father Both by Jon Holden Galluccio..................................................................12 Org. Profile: St. Francis of Assisi American National Catholic Church.............................14 Calendar of Events...........................................................................................................16 Discussion Groups by Gordon Sauer .............................................................................. 18 Pride Guide Assistant Editor’s Notes by Sue Harris.........................................................19 Pride Guide Live! by Andy Skurna....................................................................................19 Rebalancing Your Assets Puts You in Charge by Ash Rajan..............................................24 Healthy Living & Happiness: Where Do I Sign Up? by Peter J. Economou.......................35 Home Staging by Jeffrey Zaleski.......................................................................................65 Students, You Have Rights...............................................................................................80 Six Steps to Speak Up.......................................................................................................90 Your Social Calendar........................................................................................................93 Advertiser’s Index............................................................................................................94

Listings Animal Companions ..... 20 Bars & Nightclubs...........20 Entertainment/Events .. 20 Financial/Insurance ...... 24 Help/Info Lines ............. 27 HIV/AIDS Support and Services ..................... 28

Legal Services ............... 32 Libraries ........................ 34 Mental Health .............. 34 Organizations ............... 45 Physical Health/Fitness . 59 Print/Radio/Web .......... 61 Real Estate Services ...... 65

Religion/Spirituality ...... 67 Services ........................ 75 Sports/Recreation ........ 79 Student Organizations. . .80 Theaters and Concert Halls...........................85 Youth ............................ 87

Pride Guide 2011 was printed by DJG Associates. See their ad on page 77.

Entire contents are copyright © May 2011 Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County (GAAMC). All copyrights revert to the original authors upon publication.

The Pride Guide and the Editors aim to publish accurate information and listings.

Responsibility cannot be assumed by the Pride Guide, GAAMC, the editors, the contributors, or any board member in the event of a claim of loss, damage, or injury arising from any information in this Guide. Statements of contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect the policies or opinions of the Pride Guide or GAAMC.

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2011

Letter From the Editor

by Andy Skurna Welcome to Pride Guide, GAAMC’s gift to the queer communities of New Jersey.

Please keep this booklet handy throughout the year. It contains a wealth of information and access to all sorts of products and services that you may not yet know you need.

For the past several years, in my many roles at GAAMC, I had been on the receiving end of scores of requests for referrals and pleas for help. I can’t tell you how many times I have directed callers to the online edition of Pride Guide, or whipped open the annotated and dog-eared copy on my desk to direct someone to a therapist, a lawyer, or a member of the press when needed.

This publication would not be possible without the tremendous support of LGBTfriendly businesses, organizations and faith-based communities. No one gets paid for the articles they submit. No one gets paid for the hundreds (maybe thousands) of hours of work that goes into creating this resource and its online counterpart.

GAAMC’s roots are in activism. And “activism” can take many forms. The clubs, churches, businesses and scores of volunteer organizations contained in these pages are all activists. Those who gave their time and talent providing articles and other information are all activists. Businesses who step forward and proclaim themselves as LGBTI-friendly are activists.

I have worked in publishing before. More specifically, I have sold advertising space for several high-tech and niche publications. One of the greatest challenges for advertisers and those selling ad space is “tracking,” also known as “sourcing.” How do people decide where to spend their advertising budgets? How do they determine which efforts are bringing the customers, congregants, or members to them? This is where you come in.

Please turn to the advertisers in Pride Guide when you need to purchase products, or when you need professional services. And when you do, please let them know you found them through Pride Guide. Even if you don’t have an immediate need for what is being offered, there is a good chance someone you know does, or that you someday will. Supporting these resources ensures they will be available when you do need them.

If you see something that strikes your fancy, but don’t have an immediate need, please drop them a line and let them know you appreciate them. A quick note or email of appreciation can have amazing impact.

This year, we are pulling out all the stops to turn Pride Guide into a multimedia, multidimensional resource. Come to GAAMC on October 10th, for our first ever “Pride Guide Live” mini gay expo. Last year’s online edition of Pride Guide has been viewed approximately 700 times between August 2010 and May 2011, so this year we plan to upload the new edition much earlier, and more vibrant and interactive.

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Community

by Mickey Suiter Recently, I spoke to a college group about what it was like coming out in the ‘70s.

Thinking back to that time, I was somewhat amazed I didn’t have a harder time of it.

I’m not the most self-confident person, so I’ve always been affected by negative feedback around me. So, I wondered what made it possible for me to go through the coming-out process fairly unscathed. I realized that what made my coming out possible and relatively painless was the support of my friends and the small LGBT community that existed at that time.

Back then, GAAMC and other organizations like it were tiny outposts in a vast heterosexual wilderness. While we hoped that our organization would educate the local community at large about our issues and bring about positive political and social change, our main focus was on providing a safe space for LGBT people to gather, make friends and support each other—in other words, to help build a supportive community.

When we started publishing this Pride Guide in 1985, it was an extension of that community building. We wanted to make it possible for members of our community to connect with each other, and those who were supportive of our community to reach out to us.

All these years later, a lot of attitudes have changed. A lot, but not all. Many more LGBT people now have an easier time coming out. Again, many, but not all. Some people still have the same problems members of our community faced thirty or forty years ago. They still need the support of our community. And, even for those who are lucky enough to not have any coming out problems, being a part of a community where you belong is always welcome.

A recent study1 showed that in school districts where there were gay-straight alliances, where there were anti-discrimination policies in force, the attempted suicide rate of both gay and straight students was dramatically lower—more proof that this community we’ve built over the years is worth being a part of and supporting.

So join us. Be a part of this vibrant, caring community. Look through this guide, join an organization and patronize our advertisers. If you have your own business, advertise in next year’s guide. If you are reading this, you belong.

Mickey Suiter is a founding member and current president of GAAMC.

1

www.msnbc.com/id/42635619/ns/health-mental_health

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2011

Tomorrow is Too Late

by Paul Zilber Today, I am an 18-year-old freshman in college and an activist for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender youth. Coming right out of high school, I have seen and witnessed many forms of oppression coming from students, and even teachers. I am gay, but being able to say that publicly might have not been possible a few short years ago.

High school was nothing but a living Hell for me. Being ridiculed every day for my perceived sexual orientation was only the least of my worries. I had no escape in any shape or form. I was coming home to a family who was unsupportive, and uneducated about homosexuality. My coming out experience essentially led my local and extended family to break apart. Hurtful words always coincided with physical assaults by my older brother, which ultimately led to his arrest. I remember coming home after my family found out about my secret and being pinned into a corner and being yelled at.

This made me feel unworthy of life. The last words I remember hearing coming out of my brother’s mouth was “I’d rather have you dead than gay.” After that sentence, he proceeded to push me down the stairs; luckily I was not seriously hurt. This moment left scars in my heart and mind that will never heal.

Being surrounded by an anti-gay world caused me to self-mutilate my body. I cut, burned, and hoped that the next cut would be deep enough to end my life completely. I told myself I’d rather feel physical pain than emotional pain. I told no one about my coping strategies, let alone that I was on the verge of ending my so-called life.

They say that LGBT kids are four times as likely to successfully commit suicide than their straight counterparts. In February of 2009, I was almost included in this statistic. I attempted suicide and was hospitalized, treated medically then sent to receive private therapy, where I was kept in an inpatient program for the duration of my sophomore year. Although this occurrence nearly ended my life, it changed my life for the better. My family began to realize they’d rather have a gay son than a dead one, and my friends finally knew my deepest secret, and treated me no differently.

During the time period when I was cutting, I gave clear signs to the people around me that I wanted help, without directly stating it. I withdrew from all after school activities, I stopped eating lunch, and faked sick so I

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would have at least one day when I would not hear “fag” yelled from across the hallway. The last memory I have before the bullying ceased was walking out to my car and seeing “fag” keyed into the back window.

The moral to my story is to pay attention. If a teenager discloses to you that he or she is gay, lesbian, or transgender, do not react with fear.

Appreciate that person for telling you, and feel grateful that he or she had all that trust for you. Ask questions, and show that student that you care and that you are interested in what they are sharing with you. Use compassion and understanding when offering them valid advice, and if you are unsure of what to say or do, direct them to someone who may understand better. Finally, give them your support as well as an outlet for them if they need it.

After my attempt at ending my life, I saw life completely differently. I saw my chance to help others and started becoming an active member of the GLBT Community. I began to involve myself with dozens of organizations, such as Garden State Equality, PFLAG, and Get Equal.

Lobbying, demonstrating, and giving a voice to all those kids whose voices have been silenced began to be a routine for me. I knew what was right, and I knew I had no other option but to fight on behalf of the younger generation. Today, I’m visiting schools and talking to students about the importance of respect and self-love. Online, I created a platform where I have opened up my arms to anyone who needs a push. Making regular YouTube videos with thousands of subscribers to taking late night phone calls from kids in crisis has become an every day pattern, and with each passing day, it becomes more and more rewarding.

With our hard work, we can make schools a safer place for all students.

Remember, it’s our duty to stop bullying in its tracks. “Hate only survives in silence” is tattooed on my inner arm, and I live by it everyday. If we see hate, oppression, bullying, or teasing, it’s our obligation to speak up and stop it. If we don’t intervene, then we are ultimately worse than the bullies themselves. Tomorrow is too late, we need change now.

Paul Zilber is a sophomore at Middlesex County College, where he majors in Psychology. He is an active LGBT Activist and volunteers at Garden State Equality, PFLAG, and The Courage Campaign. For more information, or permission to reprint this article, you may reach Paul at bookpaulskinny@gmail.com.

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2011

An Overview of GAAMC

In 1972, when the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County (GAAMC) was founded, there were already “Gay Activist Alliances” in several other counties in New Jersey.

GAAMC is the lone survivor of those early community-building groups and has become one of the oldest suburban-based GLBTI groups in the United States.

While you don’t have to be a member to attend meetings, your membership helps GAAMC to grow, broadening our sphere of influence. Membership benefits include a subscription to our monthly newsletter, Challenge, a reduced door donation on Monday nights, and voting privileges.

Our facilities are partially wheelchair-accessible. We can also provide sign language interpreters for the hearing-impaired. (Please send an e-mail request to info@gaamc.org.)

GAAMC’s Four Purposes

Social: We always have time to talk with each other. Many of our meetings focus on fun, such as holiday barbecues, the annual Holiday Show, the Halloween Social, the annual Thanksgiving dinner, the $1.98 Beauty Pageant, movie nights, game nights, and original plays in our Lively Arts Series. Olympia’s Daughters, the Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey, Regina Sayles, Mindy Schmitt, and Mr. Scarlett O’Hara have entertained us recently. Many of the performances include talented GAAMC members.

Educational: Many interesting topics are explored through panel or group discussions and guest speakers. Recent topics have included civil rights, financial planning, AIDS, long term care planning, Transgendered 101, and civil union updates. For over 20 years, March has been Sex Month at GAAMC. Political: GAAMC is committed to educating its members about political issues that affect the GLBTI Community on local, state, and national levels. We accomplish this through announcements and guest speakers, including a candidates’ forum just before election time.

Activism: Through the Activism Committee, we strive to represent our members and to ensure their opinions are made known to their state and federal representatives.

GAAMC Membership

Membership in GAAMC is open to people 18 years of age and older. Benefits of membership include a subscription to our newsletter, Challenge, one FREE classified ad per month in Challenge, a reduced door donation on Monday nights, voting privileges, and eligibility to serve as an officer or member of the Board of Trustees.

The membership year extends from October 1st to September 30th, and dues are collected annually. See the application form in the center of this Guide.

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Main Meetings

The doors at 21 Normandy Heights Road, the Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, open each Monday night at 6:30. Volunteers set up the building for our meeting. As people arrive, they pay the modest suggested door donation (special rates for members, students, seniors, and others) at the Welcoming Table, receive a name tag so they can be greeted by friends and friends-to-be, and usually proceed to where snacks and beverages are available.

In the Great Hall, they can pick up free literature and newspapers and chat with friends. At 7:00, people attend the discussion group of choice. At 8:00, the groups end and people are encouraged to listen to the community announcements. Then the main program of the evening takes place from about 8:00 to 9:30. Most evenings end by 10pm.

GAAMC’s Discussion Groups

Discussion groups meet every Monday night, usually from 7:00 to 8:00. There are men’s, women’s and mixed groups. Among them are the following: The Open Talk discussion group meets in the Library, beginning at 7:00. ALL are welcome to join this discussion. Topics will be drawn from all aspects of LGBTI life or current events.

Circles-NJ meets in 8-week sessions and is facilitated by Gordon Sauer. See page 18.

Please note that while all discussion group participants are encouraged to share their feelings and experiences, it is not necessary. Talking is not essential. Someone can receive support and information by listening to others in a group—as well as being listened to by them. At all meetings we adhere to GAAMC’s Safe Space rules which are posted on our bulletin board.

For more information about discussion groups, go to www.gaamc.org or send an email to discussions@gaamc.org. Gordon is also available any Monday before 7:00pm.

Publications

Our newsletter, Challenge, contains items of current local, state, and national interest, announcements of events, and classified and business advertisements.

We publish this annual Pride Guide that you have in your hand. It is a free guide to services for New Jersey’s GLBTI Community. We also post the information contained herein and much, much more on our website: www.gaamc.org.

Speakers Bureau

Our Speakers Bureau carries information to other groups that are interested in learning about the GLBTI Community. We speak to churches, schools, civic groups, and businesses, and welcome speaking invitations from any organization.

Gay Pride Month: June

In June, GAAMC presents programs focused on Gay Pride. We invite you to join us in marching behind our banner in the Asbury Park Pride Parade the first Sunday in June and the New York City Pride March the last Sunday in June.

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2011

Directions to GAAMC’s Meeting Place 21 Normandy Heights Road, Morristown, NJ 07960 From the North: From I-80 or US 46, take I-287 south to exit 37 (Route 24 east). Proceed 1.8 miles to exit 2A (Morristown) and exit onto Route 510 west. Go through the light at Park Ave. At the next traffic light, turn right onto Normandy Heights Road. The Morristown Unitarian Fellowship is on the left at #21.

From the South: Take I-287 north to exit 36A (Morris Avenue East). Proceed 0.4 miles to a fork and bear right onto Columbia Turnpike (Route 510 east). Continue an additional 0.5 mile to a traffic light and turn left onto Normandy Heights Road (the Morris Museum is on the left). Immediately bear right. The Morristown Unitarian Fellowship is on the right at #21.

From the East: Take Route 24 west to exit 2A (Morristown) and exit onto Route 510 west, or take South Orange Ave west which becomes Columbia Turnpike (Route 510 west) crossing under route 24. Then go through the light at Park Ave. At the next traffic light, turn right onto Normandy Heights Road. The Morristown Unitarian Fellowship is on the left at #21.

From the West: Drive to I-287, then follow the appropriate directions to come from the north or south.

From the Parkway: Garden State Parkway North to I-78 West, to Route 24 West. Follow directions from the east.

There is plenty of parking available. Also, train service is available to Morristown or Convent Station, and it’s a short taxi ride to 21 Normandy Heights Road.

How to Reach Us: Message Center: 973-285-1595 (leave a detailed message) Pay Phone on Monday nights: 973-455-9738 Mail: PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961-0137 E-mail: info@gaamc.org

Visit Us Online:

www.gaamc.org groups.yahoo.com/group/GAAMC www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=35972756832

To Subscribe to Our Periodic eNews: news@gaamc.org

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GAAMC Officers and Trustees for 2011

President: Mickey Suiter................................................... President@gaamc.org Vice President for Community Services: Open......................... Info@gaamc.org Vice President for Operations:Open Secretary: Gordon Sauer.................................................. Secretary@gaamc.org Treasurer: Andy Skurna.................................................... Treasurer@gaamc.org Trustees: Kerry Dinkin, Marty Grifone, Claire Pompei, Mitch Rubin, Ed Schell, Bill Stella, Alexa Vasios Trustees Emeriti: Sue Harris, Sherri Rase, Robin Schneider, and Mark Wydner

Committee Chairs and Project Leaders

Activism: Gordon Sauer and Andy Skurna......................... Activism@gaamc.org Archives: Mickey Suiter..................................................... Archives@gaamc.org Challenge: Allen Neuner................................................. Challenge@gaamc.org Discussion Group Resources: Gordon Sauer................ Discussions@gaamc.org Fundraising: Andy Skurna............................................. Fundraising@gaamc.org Information: Mitch Rubin............................................. FreeLibrary@gaamc.org Mailing List: Sue Harris and Allen Neuner ............. ChangeAddress@gaamc.org Member Services/Front Desk: Allen Neuner Membership: Andy Skurna....................................... Memberships@gaamc.org Pride Guide: Andy Skurna and Sue Harris..................... PrideGuide@gaamc.org Programs: Sherri Rase...................................................... Programs@gaamc.org Social: Charlie Murphy......................................................... Socials@gaamc.org Speakers Bureau: Christopher Selitto.................... SpeakersBureau@gaamc.org Volunteerism: Sherri Rase............................................... Volunteer@gaamc.org Webmaster (Facebook, GAAMC.org, Issuu): Andy Skurna.... Webmaster@gaamc.org Yahoo! Group: Sue Harris Pride Guide 2011: This was truly a collaborative effort. Thank you all.

Editor-in-Chief: Andy Skurna......................................... PrideGuide@gaamc.org Assistant Editor & Layout: Sue Harris........................... PrideGuide@gaamc.org

Volunteers: Anthony Giordano, Suzanne Kupiec, Sherri Rase, Ed Schell, Mickey Suiter.

Contributors: Peter J. Economou, Jon Holden Galluccio, Sue Harris, Ash Rajan, Gordon Sauer, Andy Skurna, Mickey Suiter, Jeffrey Zaleski, and Paul Zilber.

Proofreaders: Jill R. Harris, Annie Magliano, and Mickey Suiter.

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2011

Mother Father Both

by Jon Holden Galluccio January 3rd, 1996, wrapped in a light blue snow suit, we brought home our first child, a son, Adam. I gleefully began my three year commitment as a stay at home DAD! As a gay couple, my husband, Michael and I had decided many things when it came to launching this quite possibly impossible plan of adopting a child.

For this story I will focus on just one, the stay at home dad role. We figured one of us had to stay home. We were together 13 years by then and although we had stability on our side there still was that pesky little gay issue. With us committing to raising a child with a stay at home parent we would be a shoe in for one of those coveted roles of fostering to adopt a special needs, drug addicted, HIV positive baby. We were right!

I was an actor in 1995 and Michael was a sales manager for Nokia.

Financially, there wasn’t a question as to who would stay home. My only claim to acting fame would be the lead in a music video for Great White’s “Stick It”, and that was back in the 80’s so I wasn’t on any fast track to fame and success there. However, I must admit that it was really more about my gifts to nurture that cinched my deal to stay home and raise Adam. These gifts flow from within so it seemed to me, since I was already the cook and the cleaner (although to be fair to Michael, he’s pretty good at cleaning too), taking that on full time along with Adam should have been simple. Ha! I had to quickly become something I had not really seen before and please don’t count the Michael Keaton movie “Mr. Mom”. I certainly knew many real men that were dads. I even had a few dads myself but this was entirely different, they all worked and this dad, me….my job was being a shhhhhhh “mom”. There was clearly a written rule somewhere that said “IF YOU DON’T WORK, STAY HOME, AND TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS – YOU ARE A MOM”. After my first trip to Shop Rite, I knew that a lot was coming my way. It was extremely emasculating for me and I was not prepared. I just didn’t realize how badly people rely on definitions, and defining who I was became very important to those around me and then, sadly, to myself.

Here are a few phrases that have scarred me, “Oh, is it Mom’s day off?”

“Giving Mom a break today?” “And who are you babysitting here?” “Where’s his mommy?”

Then we fought to adopt him and were confronted with right wing nut jobs blasting us how Adam needed a mommy and it was unfair of us blah, blah, blah. So

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I had a bit of an attitude that first year. I was defending my Dadness over my Momness at every turn. I’m a stay at home DAD damn it. I know, I cook, clean and take care of the kids but I’m a DAD…..a DAD….a man.

On Mother’s Day in 1997, poor dear old Aunt Mary at 89 years of age, in a somewhat broken Italian accent wished me Happy Mother’s Day. Exasperated, defeated, I replied, “Aunt Mary, you know I’m their dad not their mom!” She looked up at me so sweetly, I remember the gaze with her hair blowing in her face as she said “NO, you cook, you clean, you MOTHER FATHER BOTH!” She was so sincere, so kind and so right. Like a scene from the Grinch, my heart swelled with joy as I was able to see, feel and embrace that yes, I was a mom but we’ll call it mother father both! I shared this with Michael as we laughed over the whole “mother father both” phrase but its imprint remains on my heart to this day.

Nine years later, my daughter Madison came home from school with this story for me: “Hey Dad, the kids were feeling sorry for me today because we were making Mother’s Day cards and I don’t have a mother. So, I asked them what did their mother’s do for them that made them so special and when they were done do you know what I told them? You do all that so you must be my Mom too, so no one needs to feel sorry for me” and with that she gave me my first Mother’s Day card from her. I cannot imagine a prouder mother than me at that moment.

So it’s clear to me and all who know me that “mother” is not a gender specific term. It’s synonymous with boo-boo kisser, bedtime reader, lunch bag decorator, tailor, shopper, cook, hair brusher, Band-Aid remover, hug giver, banker, protector, make-up artist, etc.

If you’re good at math you might have noticed that my three year commitment was extended. It was extended to 14 years home actually. Only last year did I return to the work force after going back to school and getting licensed in Financial Services.

To be honest, now I’m just another working mother and it’s exhausting.

Author of “An American Family” by Jon and Michael Galluccio, with David Groff, Jon and Michael just celebrated their 29th anniversary. They have 3 children and 3 grand children. Jon is a Financial Services Representative with MetLife. Jon, Michael and two of their children reside in North Haledon, NJ.

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GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2011

A Catholic Church…An Inclusive Experience Maybe you thought you could not be Catholic and gay. Maybe you experienced leaders of the Church speaking out against you and your rights from the pulpit. Maybe because of a divorce you were told you could not fully participate in the sacramental life of the Church. Maybe you were told that because you are a woman that you, too, could not fully be included in the life of the Church. Well, we at St. Francis of Assisi American National Catholic Church have prayerfully created an all-embracing parish community. The parish is conducted by the Ecumenical Religious Order of the Franciscan Community of Mercy. St. Francis of Assisi parish is a faith community in the Catholic tradition which embraces all into full participation in the sacramental life of the church.

St. Francis of Assisi parish began as a group of committed and dedicated Catholics who met in the home of Fr. George and his partner in West Orange, NJ. The parish began to grow, and by a happy coincidence the Glen Ridge Congregational Church offered the fledgling community the use of their chapel. The members of the parish, the people of God, began to worship in the new space in May of 2008. There were six of us at our first Mass, and since that time we have continued to slowly grow into a very active parish committed to spreading the message that God’s all-inclusive love can be found in our ancient Catholic Traditions. St. Francis of Assisi is the Cathedral parish of the National American Catholic Church, a small self-governing Catholic jurisdiction, established as a living witness to the Spirit of God who renews God’s Church in every age. St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church, as the Cathedral Church of the American National Catholic Church, declare that we are a valid expression of the ancient Catholic faith, theologically, sacramentally, and pastorally.

We are a viable option for those seeking to feel at home in a Catholic community which strives to teach and live the gospels of Christ. We try to fulfill Christ’s admonition to love one another as God loves us. We at St. Francis affirm with Archbishop Willibrord van Os of Utrecht, who in 1823 reiterated adherence to the unchanging doctrine of Catholicism in the following words: “We accept without any exception whatever, all the Articles of the Holy Catholic Faith. We will never hold nor teach, now or afterwards, any other opinions than those that have been decreed, determined, and published by our Mother, Holy Church...” Thus, we along

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with other Catholics, trace our Apostolic Succession through the Roman and Eastern Catholic Churches to the Apostles, and invite all to participate fully in the sacramental ministry of the Church. The Rule of Faith, which forms our parish life, is our belief that we are called into existence by God to give witness to the inclusiveness of God’s love found in the Catholic teaching, and our faithful adherence to Sacred Scripture and the Apostolic Tradition.

St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church is a place for Contemporary Catholics, seeking to learn about God and God’s Will, to reach out and share what they have learned and experienced. Together with you, we want to: • • • • •

Celebrate God’s love for us, Form our children in the Love of Christ, Reach out to our neighbors, Build up the people of God, and Rejoice, worship and believe.

We desire to be a place of peace for those seeking a valid Catholic parish community in which to worship. We as a Church appreciate that Jesus never really said “No” to anyone and had only two commandments: Love God, Love Neighbor.

See the ad on page 71, for more information.

CHALLENGE The Newsletter of the Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County Serving New Jersey’s GLBTI Communities Since 1972 The Best Damn Newsletter in New Jersey® Always seeking articles, opinion pieces, reviews, fiction, poetry, advertisements, and more. If it’s on your mind, it should be in Challenge!

Subscriptions are free with membership; non-members can subscribe for only $25/year. For more information, or to send submissions, contact the Editor at Challenge@GAAMC.org

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2011:

GAAMC’s Pride Guide 2011

GAAMC and Other Events

Friday, June 3. Jersey’s Pride Weekend starts in Asbury Park. www.jerseypride.org.

Sunday, June 5, 11:00am – 7:00pm. NJ’s 20th Annual GLBTI Pride Celebration. March behind the GAAMC banner in the Parade! Come visit our table at the Festival!

Monday, June 6, 7:00pm – 9:30pm. GAAMC “Statewide Pride” extended discussion.

Monday, June 13, 7:00pm. GAAMC Open Talk, 8:00pm: Film, “Prayers for Bobby.”

Wednesday, June 15. GAAMC CHALLENGE Newsletter: deadline for editorial and ads for double “Summer Issue.”

Thursday, June 16, 7:00pm. GAAMC Board of Trustees meeting.

Monday, June 20, 7:00pm. GAAMC Open Talk, 8:00pm: NJ Foster Parent Program.

Sunday, June 26, Noon: Heritage of Pride March in NYC. Come march with GAAMC! See www.NYCPride.org for details, or contact Info@GAAMC.org.

Monday, June 27, 7:00pm. GAAMC Open Talk. 8:00pm: PFLAG. Monday, July 4, 7:00pm. GAAMC Open Talk. 8:00pm: Annual Independence Day Ice Cream Social.

Monday, July 11, 7:00pm. GAAMC Open Talk. 8:00pm: Liberty and Justice for All. Monday, July 18, 7:00pm. GAAMC Open Talk. 8:00pm: Welcome to Canada, Act 1.

Thursday, July 21, 7:00pm. GAAMC Board of Trustees meeting.

Monday, July 25, 7:00pm. GAAMC Open Talk. 8:00pm: Welcome to Canada, Act 2.

Monday, August 1, 7:00pm. GAAMC OpenTalk. 8:30pm: Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey’s Next Stage Ensemble performs live. Only $10 admission.

Monday, August 8, 7:00pm. GAAMC Open Talk. 8:00pm: GAAMC Film Festival.

Monday, August 15. CHALLENGE newsletter deadline for September issue.

Thursday, August 18, 7:00pm. GAAMC Board of Trustees meeting.

Saturday, August 27, Noon – 8:00pm. Hudson Pride Connection’s Pride Festival. “Do Ask. Do Tell” Downtown Jersey City. www.HudsonPride.org. See page 20.

Monday, September 5, 7:00pm. GAAMC Annual Labor Day Social.

Monday, September 12, 7:00pm. GAAMC Celebrate Our 39th Anniversary.

Thursday, September 15. 7:00pm. GAAMC Board of Trustees meeting and CHALLENGE newsletter deadline for the October issue.

Monday, September 19, 7:00pm. GAAMC Open Talk. 8:30pm. Annual $1.98 Beauty Pageant. You don’t want to miss this spectacular extravaganza! Contestants compete in three categories: Casual Wear, Talent/No Talent, and Formal Wear. See page 95. E-mail Programs@GAAMC.org to audition as a contestant.

Monday, September 26, 7:00pm: GAAMC Film Festival.

Monday, October 10, 7:00pm: GAAMC Pride Guide Live! See page 19.

Saturday, October 15. GAAMC CHALLENGE newsletter deadline for November issue.

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Thursday, October 20, 7:00pm. GAAMC Board of Trustees meeting.

Monday, October 31, 7:00pm. GAAMC Open Talk. 8:00pm: Annual Halloween Social.

Tuesday, November 15, CHALLENGE newsletter deadline for double “Winter Issue.”

Thursday, November 17, 7:00pm. GAAMC Board of Trustees meeting.

Sunday, November 20. Transgender Day of Remembrance. Find NJ’s DoR events listed at www.princeton.edu/lgbt/events.

Monday, November 21, 7:00pm. GAAMC Open Talk. 8:00pm GAAMC Gives Thanks.

Monday, November 21, 7:00pm. GAAMC gives thanks. Annual Thanksgiving Social.

Monday, November 28, 8:00pm. GAAMC. World AIDS Day Memorial Observance.

Thursday, December 1. World AIDS Day. Wear a Red Ribbon. See page 29.

Monday, December 5, 8:00pm. GAAMC Elections + Winter Concert, GAAMC Ensemble.

Monday, December 12, 8:00pm. GAAMC Holiday Show with Mr. Scarlett O’Hara.

Monday, December 19, 7:00pm. GAAMC Holiday Social.

Monday, December 26, 8:00pm. GAAMC Film Festival: a Holiday themed movie.

2012: Monday, January 2, 8:00pm. GAAMC Fresh Perspectives Retreat Discussion.

Sunday, January 15. CHALLENGE newsletter deadline for the February issue.

Monday, February 13, 7:30pm. GAAMC’s annual Valentine’s Day Social.

Wednesday, February 15. CHALLENGE newsletter deadline for the March issue.

Thursday, March 1. Deadline for Pride Guide 2012. See centerfold.

March is Sex Month at GAAMC! Monday, May 28, 7:30pm. GAAMC’s annual Memorial Day Social.

Friday, June 1. Jersey’s Pride Weekend starts in Asbury Park. www.jerseypride.org.

Sunday, June 3, 11:00am – 7:00pm. NJ’s 21st Annual GLBTI Pride Celebration. March behind the GAAMC banner in the Parade! Come visit our table at the Festival!

Monday, July 2, 7:00pm. GAAMC’s annual Independence Day Ice Cream Social.

Monday, August 6, 8:30pm. GAAMC Lively Arts Series: Shakespeare Theater of New Jersey.

Monday, September 3, 7:00pm. GAAMC’s annual Labor Day Social.

This calendar was as accurate as possible at press time.

Please check with the venue to make sure the schedule has not changed. Not available at press time are the specific dates or titles of some Film Festival showings and Lively Arts Series. GAAMC’s program listings are updated at www.gaamc.org/programs.html.

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Discussion Groups at GAAMC For decades GAAMC members and guests have shared their tears, fears, strengths and triumphs in weekly discussion groups. That tradition continues in 2011 with our enormously popular Open Talk (launched in 2009) and Circles-NJ (enjoying nearly two decades of success).

Open Talk is an informal rap group that meets for about one hour each week. “Talkers” update each other on the major events of their lives from the past week, before the general discussion.

Open Talk is open to people of all races, and sexual orientations and identities, including our straight friends. Our team of facilitators, which includes Elias Scultori, Kerry Dinkin, Sherri Rase and Gordon Sauer, welcomes your participation.

GAAMC’s Discussion Group Resources chairman, Gordon Sauer, facilitates several courses of Circles each year. These groups of 8 to 10 men and women meet each week for 8 to 12 weeks to discuss a variety of topics drawn from LGBTI life.

The format is unique in that instead of random thoughts on each topic, participants are asked questions about the subject, and their answers form the foundation for lively, informative, and supportive fellowship.

More information about our current Discussion Group Resources can be found on our website at www.GAAMC.org/services.html We would love to start a new Women’s Discussion, or a Latino Discussion Group, or even a Young Adults Discussion Group.

To suggest a new discussion group, or to offer to facilitate a group, please contact Gordon at Discussions@GAAMC.org.

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Pride Guide Editor’s Notes

by Sue Harris Welcome to the Pride Guide 2011: A Guide to Gay New Jersey. This Guide, published in May 2011, is GAAMC’s 29th edition. Here are some notes to help you use the Guide more effectively: ➢ Listings are in this order: Personal and/or business name; Address, City, State, ZIP; Phone; Fax; e-mail; web page; Description; Page reference to display ad. Not all listings will have all elements. ➢ If there is no designation before a phone number, it’s a voice line. ➢ If a URL begins with the common “www.” that’s how it will be listed.

For URLs not beginning with “www.” the full URL (including “http://”) will be listed. ➢ If you find an incorrect listing, please let us know. I’m sure it was accurate at press time, but you know how e-mail addresses and URLs come and go so quickly around here.

Pride Guide Live!

by Andy Skurna

On October 10th, 2011, GAAMC will host a very special gay expo and

you’re invited. Come to GAAMC in Morristown to meet your friends from Pride Guide, live in person. Come out and meet professionals like doctors, lawyers and realtors, experts in financial planning, communities of worship, other LGBTI organizations, sports and recreation groups, theaters, and so much more! Learn about what they have to offer, you may be surprised!

Pride Guide Live! is a free event, brought to you by GAAMC’s Pride Guide Committee. We’ll have great refreshments, free drawings for great prizes, maybe even a 50/50 raffle. Please mark your calendars now. You won’t want to miss this!

Send an e-mail to PrideGuide@GAAMC.org if you would like more information about participating in Pride Guide Live! as an exhibitor, to donate your product/service, or to join the committee that will plan this great event.

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A N I M A L C O M PA N I O N S Mt. Pleasant Animal Shelter; 194 Route 10 West, (behind PetSmart), East Hanover, NJ 07936; 973-386-0590; info@njshelter.org; www.njshelter.org; Open for dog and cat adoptions Tuesday through Sunday. Please visit us online to see our adoptable animals!

Seer Farms; PO Box 91, Jackson, NJ 08527; 732-928-1804; info@seerfarms.org; www.seerfarms.org; A People-Centered Animal Sanctuary... keeping families together and animals safe.

B A R S & N I G H T C LU B S Switch Bar; 202 Mrytle Ave, Boonton, NJ 07005; 973-263-4000; info@switchbar.com; www.switchbar.com; Open 365 days a year for those 21 and over (proper ID required). Mondays through Fridays: 6:00pm - 2:00am (Happy Hour 6:00 - 8:00) Saturdays and Sundays: 4:00pm - 2:00am (Happy Hour 4:00pm - 7:00pm). See ad on back cover.

E N T E R TA I N M E N T & E V E N T S

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E N T E R TA I N M E N T & E V E N T S Equality Forum; 1420 Locust St, Suite 300, Philadelphia, PA 191024202; 215-732-3378; info@equalityforum.com; www.equalityforum.com; The annual Equality Forum in Philadelphia is the largest annual and premiere national and international GLBT civil rights forum. The weeklong event, ending the first Sunday in May, features more than 50 programs, parties, and special events, including SundayOUT!, the area’s largest GLBT street festival.

FOREPLAY 2011; info@4playnj.com; www.4playnj.com; Leather, Bear, Kink Block Party - Sat, June 4, 2011, Asbury Park, NJ - A Block Party Created by Our Community, for Our Community!

Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County; $1.98 Beauty Pageant; info@gaamc.org; www.gaamc.org; Monday, Sep. 19, 2011.

8pm. Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, 21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960. See ad inside back cover.

Heritage of Pride Inc; 154 Christopher St, Suite 1D, New York, NY 10014; 212-80-PRIDE (212-807-7433); www.nycpride.org; Heritage of Pride organizes Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride events in New York City to commemorate and celebrate the Stonewall Riots. Pride Week 2011: June 18-26. 42nd anniversary of Stonewall this year.

Hudson Pride Connection’s Pride Festival; 32 Jones St, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201-963-4779; info@hudsonpride.org; www.hudsonpride.org; Saturday, August 27, Noon – 8:00pm: Hudson Pride Connection’s Pride Festival. “Do Ask. Do Tell” Downtown Jersey City. See ad on page 20.

Jersey Pride, Inc; PO Box 10796, New Brunswick, NJ 08906; 732-21 GAY NJ (732-214-2965); info@jerseypride.org; www.jerseypride.org; The allvolunteer organization that produces NJ’s Annual Statewide Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Intersexed Pride Celebration the 1st weekend in June in Asbury Park (Saturday and Sunday, June 4 & 5, 2011).

JPI is committed to increasing the visibility of, and promoting the wellbeing of NJ’s GLBTI community through annual pride events, year-round fundraising efforts, and production of the critically acclaimed magazine, The Jersey Gaze. See ad on page 22.

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G A A M C C O N G R AT U L AT E S J P I ON THEIR 20 YEAR! T H

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E N T E R TA I N M E N T & E V E N T S New Jersey Leather Weekend; DragonslairProd@aol.com; www.LeatherNJOnline.com; Mr. and Ms. New Jersey Leather Contest produced by Dragonslair Productions, Inc, is held each year on the third weekend in October. In 2011, the contest will be held on Saturday, Oct. 15, at Paradise in Asbury Park, NJ. New Jersey Ride Against AIDS; PO Box 127, Bradley Beach, NJ 07720; 732-988-6593; blog.njrideagainstaids.org; The New Jersey Ride Against AIDS is a three-day bicycling event that benefits New Jersey AIDS charities. The next ride is set for Sep. 23 - 25, 2011. The ride begins at High Point State Park in beautiful northwest New Jersey and concludes in the charming, Victorian town of Cape May at the southernmost point of the state. The length of the ride is approximately 250 miles.

Show More Drama; at Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, 21 Normandy Heights Road; Morristown, NJ 07960; 256-335-4800; pratikmamtora@yahoo.co.uk; Theatre club for ALL ages. Acting, singing, dancing, role play, improvisation, scenario-based workshops, script readings, memorizing lines, wardrobe, costume and make-up. We meet on Wednesdays from 5:00pm - 7:00pm. Join us for an audition! For upcoming productions visit www.MUUF.org and click on the link to the current newsletter.

The Theater Project; Union County College, 1033 Springfield Ave, Cranford, NJ 07016; 908-659-5189; TheaterProject@aol.com; www.TheTheaterProject.org; Union County College’s Professional Theater Company.

VCS Gay Pride Rockland, An Event for Everyone; VCS Inc; 77 S Main St, New City, NY 10956; 845-634-5729; gpr@vcs-inc.org; www.gaypriderockland.org; Sunday, June 12, 2011, Riverspace Parking Lot, 119 Main St, Nyack, NY. Family Friendly, Children’s Activities, FREE.

Holiday Show Dec. 12, 2011 Come share your holiday spirit, in the audience...or on stage!

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Rebalancing Your Assets Puts You in Charge

By Ash Rajan of Merrill Lynch Global Wealth Management Volatile markets can take your portfolio on a roller-coaster ride. Regular rebalancing can help ease the bumps and reduce the risks.

For just a minute, think of your long-term financial strategy as a cross-country car trip.

You know where you want to end up, and you have a pretty good idea of how long it should take to get there. At the same time, you know that here and there you’re going to run into heavy traffic, inclement weather, detours and other obstacles to a safe and timely arrival. And of course, you’re always looking for opportunities to reach your destination in the smartest, easiest way. As an intelligent traveler, you will probably consult a GPS device to look for better routes, check weather reports and traffic updates for potential problems, and maybe visit a local Web site to make sure there’s no roadwork along the way.

These easy steps can make your trip relatively smooth and surprise-free. Similarly, there are moves you can make as an investor that will help you avoid a number of pitfalls and take advantage of opportunities. One of the most important is regular rebalancing—adjusting your mix of stocks, bonds, cash and, for qualified investors, alternative investments to your original targets so that your investments reflect the strategy you have decided best suits your goals, time horizon, and risk tolerance.

The market volatility of the past couple of years shows pretty clearly why rebalancing your portfolio is a sensible idea. Between October 2007 and March 2009, the value of stocks (as measured by the S&P 500) declined 57%, and many investors cashed out. At the same time, bonds posted gains, and many people increased their fixed-income holdings. As a result, the percentage of stocks in most portfolios shrank markedly over this period, while bond and cash allocations grew in the majority of cases. When the markets reversed course in the ensuing months, investors who hadn’t rebalanced their holdings missed the chance to reap the gains.

When the markets alter the shape of your portfolio in this way, there’s less potential for the long-term growth that markets have historically provided and greater exposure to risk and lost opportunities. Reviewing your portfolio regularly ensures that you—not the markets—manage your assets.

Sell Overperformers. Seek Opportunities.

Start your portfolio review by examining which assets have overperformed and which have underperformed during a set period of time. Leverage your Financial Advisor’s firm’s research insights as you consider shifting funds out of asset classes that exceed your targets—and are thereby growing into a larger percentage of your holdings—and moving them into underrepresented asset classes. With the help of your Financial

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Advisor, you can define asset-allocation parameters that are appropriate to your goals, your risk profile and your liquidity needs, among other considerations.

How do you determine when you need to add to or subtract from a particular asset class? Most investors can tolerate a short-term fluctuation of 5% from their allocation model pretty well. Much more than that indicates a need for change—or at least to start a dialogue with your Financial Advisor.

Rebalancing can help achieve the twin goals of reducing the risk of overexposure and increasing diversification. The most straightforward strategy is to sell some of your best performers and use the proceeds to purchase undervalued assets—either by expanding positions in securities you already hold or by choosing different investments in the same asset class or sector. Alternatively, you may decide to devote the proceeds from your sales to asset classes that are underrepresented or absent in your portfolio to increase diversification.

Rebalancing can also be an opportunity to take advantage of investment options. As you consider which positions to sell and purchase, look at what’s happening in the marketplace. Talk to your Financial Advisor about different sectors, asset classes, geographical regions and market trends that are consistent with your strategy and risk tolerance.

How Often Is “Regularly”?

Active rebalancing is especially important following a prolonged period of market volatility. However, many financial professionals recommend revisiting your portfolio on a regular schedule regardless of market conditions. An annual review is usually adequate. It represents a happy medium between too often and not often enough. It also nicely matches other market assessments, such as year-to-date performance, and any life changes—such as marriage, divorce, education, retirement or inheritance—that may have occurred during the past year to alter your attitude toward risk.

In addition to the annual review, it’s a good idea to make adjustments if your allocation to a given asset class shifts by more than 10 percentage points. Even in unusual conditions, though, you should weigh the need for frequent full-scale overhauls carefully, since the transaction costs may offset the benefits.

While asset allocation, diversification, and rebalancing do not protect you fully against losses in a declining market, establishing a rule of regular recalibration helps you respond to market movements with a well-thought-out strategy. This process shouldn’t be viewed as merely an action but as a mind set and as a partnership between you and your Financial Advisor. It’s a conscious step that will help you approach your portfolio in a disciplined way. And that’s valuable in any market.

Ash Rajan is head of Investment Policy, Investment Management & Guidance for Merrill Lynch Global Wealth Management.

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F I N A N C I A L /I N S U R A N C E Anne Freid-Lefton, EA, “The Tax Gal”; PO Box 231, Parlin, NJ 08859; 732-257-0431; anne@thetaxgal.com; www.thetaxgal.com; Taxes prepared and multi-state specialist. Financial planning and electronic filing as well.

Enrolled to practice before the IRS. See ad below.

Gary Konecky, CPA; 350A Plaza Road North, Fair Lawn, NJ 07410-3640; 201791-5728; gkonecky@gmail.com; A gay owned CPA firm providing tax, financial planning, accounting and other services to small businesses and individuals.

Primerica; Gary Wyssling; 101 Round Hill Dr, Rockaway, NJ 07866; 973627-3630; LM177@Primerica.com; We are looking for entrepreneurs to work part time or full time in a Financial Services company helping people find the solutions to their financial goals. Call for a complementary financial needs analysis. Find out the rules of money!

Free Consultation Individuals • Business

Financial Planning Electronic Filing

THETAXGAL.COM PO Box 231 Parlin, NJ 08859 732-257-0431 Fax 732-257-7574

ANNE FREID-LEFTON, EA Enrolled To Practice Before the IRS E-mail: anne@thetaxgal.com

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F I N A N C I A L /I N S U R A N C E Steven W. Schmitt, CFP®, MBA, First Vice President–Investment Officer, Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisorsm; Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, 51 JFK Parkway, 4th Floor, Short Hills, NJ 07078; 973-564-6997; steven.schmitt@WFadvisors.com.

Eileen M. Shrem, Independent Insurance Planner; 215 McCabe Ave, Suite C1, Bradley Beach, NJ 07720; 732-988-7256; emshrem@yourfriend-in-insurance.com; Receive a discount on Auto Insurance. Take the online NJ State approved safety course. Go to www.your-friend-ininsurance.com. Truly your friend in the insurance business. See ad on page 26.

Suszko & Cimera, LLP; PO Box 701, Short Hills, NJ 07078; 973-3764121; KPSCPA@gmail.com; Certified Public Accountant. See ad inside front cover.

Kyle D. Young, CFP®, Vice President–Investment Officer, Accredited Domestic Partnership Advisorsm; Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, 51 JFK Parkway, 4th Floor, Short Hills, NJ 07078; 973-564-6983; Kyle.Young@WFadvisors.com.

H E L P / I N F O R M AT I O N L I N E S GLBT National Hotline; a program of the GLBT National Help Center; 2261 Market St, PMB #296, San Francisco, CA 94114; 888-THE-GLNH (888-843-4564); info@GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org; www.GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org; Offering free and confidential information, local resources, and peer-counseling.

GLBT National Youth Talkline; a program of the GLBT National Help Center; 2261 Market St, PMB #296, San Francisco, CA 94114; 800-246PRIDE (800-246-7743); Youth@GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org; www.YouthTalkline.org; Offering free and confidential information, local resources, and peer-counseling to those ages 25 and younger.

New Jersey Self-Help Group Clearinghouse; 375 E. McFarlan St, Dover, NJ 07801-3638; 800-FOR-MASH (800-367-6274); www.NJgroups.org; Helps persons find or form all types of self-help groups for abuse, addiction, bereavement, disability, health, mental health, family, caregivers, and more.

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H E L P / I N F O R M AT I O N L I N E S New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project Hotline; 240 West 35th St, Suite 200, New York, NY 10001; 212-714-1141; www.avp.org; LGBT hotline for reporting sexual assault, domestic violence, bias crimes, or other crises.

PFLAG-Bergen County Helpline; PO Box 1330, Ridgewood, NJ 07450; 201287-0318; info@BergenPFLAG.org; www.BergenPFLAG.org; We provide a safe, friendly space where parents and loved ones can voice their concerns about GLBT issues. Give us a call. We love to listen.

HIV / AIDS S U P P O R T & S E R V I C E S

World AIDS Day: Thursday, December 1, 2011 World AIDS Day is celebrated on December 1 each year around the world.

It has become one of the most recognized international health days and a key opportunity to raise awareness, commemorate those who have passed on, and celebrate victories such as increased access to treatment and prevention services.

World AIDS Day is about people getting the facts about HIV and AIDS. It’s a day for people to get involved and there are many ways in which you can do so. No matter how you decide to mark the day, you can help create a more AIDS-aware society in which everyone takes action, so please make sure you show off your red ribbon on December 1st! Go to www.worldaidscampaign.org for more information.

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HIV / AIDS S U P P O R T & S E R V I C E S AIDS Memorial Quilt – NAMES Project Foundation, New Jersey Chapter; 329 Klagg Ave, Trenton, NJ 08638; 732-991-3479; NAMESPCNJ@aol.com; The AIDS Memorial Quilt is now a National Treasure. It is displayed in various venues by request as an educational tool to help bring AIDS and HIV awareness in the public eye of the young and old. We will help you to make individual Panels for The Quilt to commemorate those who passed away and to keep the love and their NAMES Alive. The Quilt helps promote healing and understanding. Panel making workshops are by request and can be scheduled at your location. Our services areas are Central and Southern New Jersey. All honoraria are the main means of support.

AIDS Memorial Quilt – NAMES Project Foundation, Northern New Jersey Chapter; PO Box 85, Paramus, NJ 07653; 201-265-0600; info@namesnnj.org; www.namesnnj.org; A supporting organization of the National Foundation of the NAMES Project, promoting awareness of HIV/AIDS; serving as a local AIDS service organization; building alliances with other local AIDS service organizations; and helping people remember and grieve for those who have died from AIDS related diseases. Serving Bergen, Essex, Hudson, Morris, Passaic, Sussex, and Warren counties.

Broadway House for Continuing Care; Deborah Freisinger, Program & Special Events Coordinator; 298 Broadway, Newark, NJ 07104; 973-2689797; freiside@umdnj.edu; www.broadwayhouse.org; A special care, residential 24-hour nursing facility providing services exclusively to people with HIV/AIDS. Buddies of New Jersey, Inc; 149 Hudson St, Hackensack, NJ 07601; 201-489-2900; HelpLine: 800-508-7577; njbuddies@aol.com; www.njbuddies.org; Mission: to provide support, education, and services for people infected and affected by HIV/AIDS. Services include: case management, both medical and community, substance abuse treatment and counseling, housing assistance, support groups, transportation, food pantry, and HIV/AIDS education. Now licensed for Substance Abuse Treatment.

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HIV / AIDS S U P P O R T & S E R V I C E S God’s Love We Deliver; 212-294-8102 or 800-747-2023; clientservices@glwd.org; www.godslovewedeliver.org; A non-profit, nonsectarian organization that provides home-delivered meals and nutritional counseling for people who are living with HIV/AIDS and other serious illnesses who, because of their illness, are unable to provide or prepare meals for themselves throughout NYC and Hudson County, NJ. Client Services: M-F, 8am-5pm.

Hope House; 19-21 Belmont Ave, Dover, NJ 07801; 973-361-5555 or 800-213-4967; information@hopehousenj.org; www.hopehouse.com; When hope seems like a word with no meaning...come to Hope House where lives are forever changed.

Hyacinth AIDS Foundation; 317 George St, Suite 203, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; 800-433-0254 in NJ, 732-246-0204 outside NJ; info@hyacinth.org; www.hyacinth.org; Hyacinth is the first and largest AIDS service organization in New Jersey. Hyacinth’s mission is to help people live with HIV, work to slow the spread of the pandemic, and serve as a critical voice in the public debate surrounding AIDS in New Jersey.

Check our website to find the location nearest you.

New Jersey AIDS / STD Hotline; UMDNJ, 140 Bergen St, Suite G1600, Newark, NJ 07101; 800-624-2377; Call the hotline 24 hours a day, any day, to find a local test site, or ask questions concerning HIV/AIDS or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

New Jersey AIDS Services, Inc.; 44 South St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-285-0006; info@NJAS-Inc.org; www.NJAS-Inc.org; Responding compassionately and responsibly to the HIV/AIDS crisis by providing supportive services, housing opportunities, prevention strategies and community education in New Jersey.

New Jersey Ride Against AIDS; PO Box 127, Bradley Beach, NJ 07720; 732-988-6593; www.njrideagainstaids.org; The New Jersey Ride Against AIDS is a three-day bicycling event that benefits New Jersey AIDS charities. The next ride is set for Sep. 23 - 25, 2011. The ride begins at High Point State Park in beautiful northwest New Jersey and concludes in the charming, Victorian town of Cape May at the southernmost point of the state. The length of the ride is approximately 250 miles.

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HIV / AIDS S U P P O R T & S E R V I C E S New Jersey Women & AIDS Network (NJWAN); 103 Bayard St, 3rd Fl, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; and 7 Glenwood St, Suite. 401, East Orange, NJ 07017; Warmline: 800-747-1108, NB: 732-846-4462, EO: 973-395-0060; office@njwan.org; www.njwan.org; NJWAN was founded in May 1988 out of the recognition that an independent voice was needed to express the needs of women in the HIV/AIDS pandemic.

North Jersey Community Research Initiative; 393 Central Ave, 3rd Floor, Newark, NJ 07103; 973-483-3444; njcri@njcri.org; www.njcri.org; Education; prevention programs for youth, HIV positives, and substance users; HIV Counseling/Testing/Referral; STD testing; clinical trials on HPV and HIV medications; syringe exchange; care/treatment/support services: primary care, psychiatry, substance abuse, nutrition, adherence, case management, food pantry, transportation, referrals, and support groups; technical assistance for minority-based HIV organizations; behavioral surveillance/research; pre- and post-discharge correction services; Greater Newark multi-agency outreach; and collaborative project with other disease group organizations.

Ryan White Mental Health Program; Christ Hospital-CRC, 179 Palisade Ave, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201-418-7037; hgolden@christhospital.org; Bilingual counseling for HIV+ Hudson County residents at Christ Hospital.

South Jersey AIDS Alliance; 19 Gordon’s Alley, Atlantic City, NJ 08401; 609-347-1085, Hotline: 800-281-AIDS (2437); info@sjaids.org; www.southjerseyaidsalliance.org; Founded in 1985, offering AIDS and HIV support, info, and services. Covering Atlantic, Cape May, and Cumberland counties, the alliance operates regional support centers to assist clients and their families. All services are free and confidential.

Visiting Nurse Association of Central Jersey; HIV/AIDS Resource Center; 176 Riverside Ave, Red Bank, NJ 07701; 800-947-0020; www.vnacj.org/community/hivaids.html; This referral phone line is a service of Monmouth-Ocean HIV Care Consortium and community organizations in Monmouth and Ocean counties. Assistance is offered daily from 8:30am4:30pm. After-hours messages will be returned on the next business day. All calls are confidential.

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LEGAL SERVICES LESLIE A. FARBER Attorney at Law

LGBTI Community Needs • Civil Unions • Adoptions • Estate Planning • Transgender Matters Personal Injury

Municipal Court

• Auto Accidents • Traffic tickets • Fall Downs • Drunk driving • Workers Compensation

Family Law Employment Law Real Estate Closings

33 Plymouth Street, Suite 204 • Montclair, New Jersey 07042 LFarber@LFarberLaw.com • www.LFarberLaw.com 973-509-8500

STEIN MCGUIRE SM P ANTAGES GIGL

LLP

Robyn B. Gigl Attorney at Law 354 Eisenhower Parkway, PO Box 460 Livingston, New Jersey 07039-0460 rgigl@steinlegal.com 973-992-1100 Fax: 973-535-3990 www.steinlegal.com

Mediation… An Acceptable Alternative “a process by which a mediator facilitates communication between parties in an effort to promote settlement…” (NJ Rules of Court)

Mediation Offices of W. L. Winston, MPA – Serving NJ & NY Relationship Mediations, Dissolutions, Divorces, Parenting Plans, Equitable Distribution, Pre-Nuptial Agreements, Post-Nuptial Agreements, Family Mediations

(973) 544-8355 JerseyMediation.com Association of Family & Conciliation Courts (Member) American Bar Association (Associate Member, Family Law Section) Serving the LGBTI Community

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LEGAL SERVICES Leslie A Farber, LLC; Academy Square, 33 Plymouth St, Suite 204, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-509-8500; LFarber@LFarberLaw.com; www.LFarberLaw.com; Attorney At Law. See ad on page 32.

Francine A Gargano; 20 Shawnee Dr, Suite B, Watchung, NJ 07069; 908753-2079; garganof@msn.com; Attorney At Law. Singer & Fedun, LLC; 2230 Route 206, PO Box 134, Belle Mead, NJ 08502; 908-359-7873; wsinger@singerfedun.com; www.singerfedun.com; We specialize in the issues that shape your life, family creation, protection, and dissolution. See ad below.

Stein McGuire Pantages Gigl, LLP; 354 Eisenhower Parkway, Livingston, NJ 07039; 973-992-1100; info@steinlegal.com; www.steinlegal.com. See ad on page 32.

William L. Winston, MPA; Serving NJ & NY, 973-544-8355; Divorce@JerseyMediation.com; www.JerseyMediation.com; Relationship mediations, dissolutions, divorces, parenting plans, equitable distribution, pre-nuptial agreements, post-nuptial agreements, family mediations. See ad on page 32.

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LIBRARIES Morris County Library; 30 East Hanover Ave, Whippany, NJ 07981; 973285-6930; mocolib1@gti.net; www.mclib.info.

Ocean County Library; Toms River Branch, 101 Washington St, Toms River, NJ 08753; 732-349-6200; www.theoceancountylibrary.org; Hours: Mon.Thur. 9-9, Fri. & Sat. 9-5, Sun. 1-5 (Sun. Hours: Sep. through May).

M E N TA L H E A LT H Mental Health/Therapists The best way to determine what a professional title means is to ask the prospective clinician to describe his or her title and what was required to earn it. Here’s a basic guideline.

Educational Titles BA: Bachelor of Arts BD: Bachelor of Divinity BS: Bachelor of Science EdD: Doctor of Education MA: Master of Arts MD: Medical Doctor MDiv: Master of Divinity MEd: Master of Education MS: Master of Science MSS: Master of Social Science MSW: Master of Social Work PhD: Doctor of Philosophy PsyD: Doctorate of Psychology

Professional Titles APN: Advanced Practice Nurse ACSW: Academy of Certified Social Workers BCD: Board Certified Diplomate CAC: Certified Alcohol Counselor CAS: Certified Addiction Specialist CADC: Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor CCMHC: Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor CFT: Counselor Family Therapist CNS: Clinical Nurse Specialist CSW: Certified Social Worker (bachelor’s level) DFC: Diplomat in Forensic Counseling DPM: Diplomat in Pain Management LCADC: Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor LCSW: Licensed Clinical Social Worker (master’s level) LMFT: Licensed Marriage Family Therapist LPC: Licensed Professional Counselor NCC: National Certified Counselor NCPsyA: Nationally Certified Psychoanalyst PsyA: Psychoanalyst RN: Registered Nurse

The Division of Consumer Affairs (www.state.nj.us/lps/ca), through its various professional boards, licenses and regulates the practice of mental health professionals in New Jersey. The Division is located at 124 Halsey St, Newark, NJ 07102. Phone: 973-504-6470. Consumers are advised to check for a valid license when using such services.

Online resources include: The American Psychological Association’s FAQs on Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality at www.apa.org/pubinfo/answers.html.

“Choosing a Therapist: Advice for Seeking a Professional’s Help,” from the Personal Liberty Fund’s Educators’ Resource Guide for Serving GLBTQ Youth, at www.njlgc.org/publications/youth_guide/index.html.

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Healthy Living & Happiness: Where Do I Sign Up?

by Peter J. Economou, M.A., LPC Self-awareness, often understood through the process of individual growth, can lead to happier living. Previously seen as pathological, a gay identity (i.e., identifying as L, G, B, or T) could have warranted mental health treatment, or institutionalization, before homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual in 1973 (DSM; Drescher, 2008). Today, the process of individual growth and self-awareness has morphed. One might accomplish these through Eastern principles such as meditation, yoga, or other mindfulness-based practices, or through psychotherapy, relief projects, or life events. The decision to begin therapy can be frightening and may prevent one from entering into this very intimate relationship.

For many years individuals in therapy felt stigmatized as if there was something wrong with them. It is still possible today to hear an individual defend his or her decision to enter therapy. I argue that individuals that choose to enter into a therapeutic relationship are strong and resilient. It is not to suggest that those not in therapy are weak, but to emphasize the strength required to become emotionally and psychologically vulnerable, and to gain awareness through introspection.

Introspection, the process of gaining self-awareness, can be terrifying, and potentially traumatizing. In fact, many people remain on the surface and focus on the exterior in order to block entry into the interior. A vast amount of cognitive flexibility is necessary to explore the roots of our thoughts, feelings and behaviors, and to gain self-awareness.

As an individual begins to recognize his or her patterns of behavior, and understands his or her actions, there is usually a transformation into adaptive coping and healthy living (i.e., happiness). Awareness and insight are great tools, but it is not until they are integrated into everyday life that an individual begins to become truly self-aware. Why is all of this important for the LGBT community? It is important to have a strong sense of self in light of possible negative encounters.

In 2007, the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation Department of Justice reported that 17% of reported hate crimes were against sexual minorities (i.e., the LGBT population). The LGBT community shares similar experiences with other minority groups: prejudice, political disenfranchisement, and acts of bias. However, there are other unique sources of stigma which comes from certain religious sectors (e.g., ordination) (Balkin,

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Schlosser, & Levitt, 2009; Olson, Cadge & Harrison, 2006), vocational limitations (e.g., military Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell) (Knapp, 2008; Embrick, Walther & Wickens, 2007), right to have a family (e.g., adoption, marriage) (Lobaugh, Clements, Averill & Olguin, 2006), and medical care (e.g., ambulance transport, visitation rights) (Adams, Braun & McCreanor, 2008).

Prejudice and discrimination can lead to mental health concerns (e.g., anxiety, mood disorders, substance use, and eating disorders) which are significantly related to risky behaviors. Some risk behaviors include substance abuse, tobacco use, suicide, and risky sexual behavior (Bruce, Ramierz-Valles & Campbell, 2008; Rosario, Schrimshaw & Hunter, 2006; Shernoff, 2006). Although the literature suggests that the LGBT community tends to follow safe sexual practices overall, there is often the concern of STDs and HIV as a result of unsafe sexual practices. I recall an article published in a trendy gay magazine while visiting London a few years ago regarding a porn scene where the well known actor was infected with HIV. Allegedly, the sales of this porn increased dramatically after the word spread that the actor contracted HIV during this specific scene (i.e., people wanted to get off on a bareback scene where it was known that the actor contracted HIV). Shernoff (2006) reported that a man engaging in “barebacking” is the result of “depression, loneliness …” (Shernoff, 2006, p. 112). This finding can be applied to all LGBT individuals that are engaging in unprotected sex.

What to do with all this information? Educate yourself and protect yourself against unhealthy and unhappy living. Easier said than done? You got that right. It is much easier to stay unhappy or sad than it is to attempt to feel better. For example, after a long and stressful day, it is often easier to return home, consume a mind-altering substance (e.g., alcohol, drugs, etc.), and lay on the couch. To combat these feelings of sadness or chronic stress, more energy is required to go to the gym, to meditate, or to read a book in an attempt to feel better. With self-awareness, one can not lie to himself or herself about the function of an unhealthy behavior.

One final word of advice: when you find yourself obsessing over the “whys,” release the need for the answer and pay attention to your feelings as they shift from a place of frustration to a place of happiness and acceptance.

Peter Economou, M.A., LPC, is a Counseling Psychology Ph.D. candidate at Seton Hall University, founder of Share Our World, Inc., and The Counseling and Wellness Center, LLC. He is also an adjunct professor at Seton Hall University and Kean University.

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M E N TA L H E A LT H Allen Wells Center; Allen Wells, BA, BD, Director; 102 Ogden Pl, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-539-0301; Specializing in whole person, contemplative psychotherapy of mind/body/heart/spirit.

BN Counseling, LLC, Brian Nandy; 147 Columbia Tpk, Suite 307, Florham Park, NJ 07932; 908-419-5712; brian.nandy@bncounseling.com; www.bncounseling.com; Breaking the Ritual. NJ Lic. 37PC00350300. See ad on page 39.

Center for Identity Development; 31 Trinity Pl, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-744-6386; www.centeridentity.qpg.com; Individual, group, family, and couples therapy, plus other services. James Mahon, LCSW, ACSW, NJ Lic. SC00984. Robert Reese, PsyD, NJ Lic. 2925. See ad on page 40.

Joseph A. Chan, MSW, LCSW; 85 Park St, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-202-1421; josephlcsw@comcast.net; Lesbian, gay, and bisexual affirming psychotherapist.

Culturally-sensitive individual therapy. Strict confidentiality. NJ Lic. 44SC05184400.

Ann Cutillo, LCSW; 51 Upper Montclair Plaza, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-509-9440; anncutillo@comcast.net; Solution-based counseling utilizing an active, reality-based approach and treatment plan.

Caring and concerned gay therapist providing help in a safe and supportive environment. NJ Lic. 44SC00172700. See ad on page 41.

Howard C. Cutler, LCSW, NJ Psy A; 215 Ridgedale Ave, Florham Park, NJ 07932; 201-207-1534; hcraigc@verizon.net; Wise and compassionate psychotherapy for individuals, couples and families. Specializing in depression, anxiety, relationship problems, and eating disorders. NJ Lic. 44SC04565400.

Brenda G. Forte, MSW, LCSW; 44 Elm St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973538-2818; bfortelcsw@verizon.net; www.theinstituteforchange.com; Treating Individuals and couples within a supportive & holistic approach.

Specialties include: Anxiety, fears, depression, substance abuse and trauma. EMDR Certified. NJ Lic. 44SC00077600. See ad on page 41.

Russell W. Healy, MSW, LCSW; 4 East Cliff St, Somerville, NJ 08876; 2999 Princeton Pike, Suite 5, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648; 908-526-5784; Consultation and psychotherapy for sexual identity and gender identity issues, sexual behavior problems, depression, and relationship concerns.

NJ Lic. 44SC00039400. See ad on page 43.

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M E N TA L H E A LT H Institute for Personal Growth; 8 South Third Ave, Highland Park, NJ 08904; 800-379-9220 or 732-246-8439; ipgcounseling@gmail.com; www.ipgcounseling.com; Providing psychotherapy, relationship counseling and sex therapy to our community since 1983, with offices in Jersey City, Highland Park, Freehold and New York City. We accept most insurance and have affordable fees. See ad on page 42.

Rosemarie Kopacsi, PhD, LCSW; 460 Bloomfield Ave, Suite 209, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-509-0574; 973-868-4533; rkopacsi@comcast.net; Individual, couples, and family therapy. NJ Lic. 02029.

Lisa LaBrunda, LCSW; 170 Changebridge Rd, Bldg. B3-4, Montville, NJ 07045; 973-951-0297; llabrunda@yahoo.com; therapist.psychologytoday.com/48227; NJ Lic. 44SC05329200.

Lesbians in Transition, Catherine Roland; Montclair, NJ 07043; 973655-7184; nj_buff@yahoo.com; Short-term (6 weeks) group beginning in August for mid-life or older lesbians. Are you going through a change in your life, such as a relationship break-up, a loss, family issues? Thursdays at 5:30pm. Cost: $60/week for 6 weeks. Time limited, spaces limited, earliest contact best.

Lesbians With Cancer Support Group; c/o The Cancer Institute of NJ, 195 Little Albany St, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; 732-235-6781; slirzero@umdnj.edu; www.cinj.org; Support for lesbians with cancer and their partners held the 3rd Monday of each month at CINJ from 6:30-8pm.

Rose Slirzewski, LCSW, facilitator.

Diana Lunt, LCSW; 296 Amboy Ave, Metuchen, NJ 08840; 732-5484145; Licensed, caring, experienced psychotherapist specializing in depression, relationship issues, and sexual abuse issues. In-network provider for many insurances. NJ Lic. SC01741. See ad on page 43.

Cheryl Ann Notari, PhD; Licensed Psychologist; 332 Springfield Ave, Suite 204, Summit, NJ 07901; 908-608-1114; Providing psychotherapy to children, adolescents, and adults in a supportive environment. NJ Lic. 35S100426900.

Michele Rabinowitz, PsyD; 225 Highway 35, Red Bank, NJ 07704; 732741-2202; Licensed psychologist offering individual and couples therapy.

Experienced in gay and lesbian issues. NJ Lic. 1386. See ad on page 43.

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M E N TA L H E A LT H Ridgewood Psychotherapy Associates; Susan Donnelly, LCSW; 115 Pine St, Ridgewood, NJ 07450; 201-447-0346; susandlcsw@gmail.com; www.ridgewoodtherapy.com; Trauma, spirituality, families, cultural awareness. NJ Lic. 44SC00206800.

Dr. Catherine Roland, LPC; 51 Upper Montclair Plaza, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-655-7184; nj_buff@yahoo.com; Relationship counseling for GLBT couples and families, sexual identity issues, Life Coaching.

Licensed therapist with 24 years experience. Saturday and weekday hours, women’s groups. NJ Lic. 37PC00314000. See ad on page 44.

Marsha N. Shapiro, ACSW, LCSW, BCD, LLC; 1626 Route 130 N, Suite K, North Brunswick, NJ 08902; and 554 East Commons Way, Toms River, NJ 08755; 732-422-9400; mashkalah@aol.com; Affirmative Therapy in a relaxed, comfortable environment. Specialize in Coming Out, Being Gay and in a Straight Marriage, Relationships, Parenting, Family of Origin Issues, Addictions, Survivors of Childhood Abuse. Trained in the use of EMDR and self-hypnosis. NJ License Number SL-00046. See ad on page 44.

Deborah S. Smith, MS, LCADC; 47 Maple St, L-21, Summit, NJ 07901; Affirming, confidential counseling for individuals and couples. More than 30 years experience in GLBT issues and addictions. NJ Lic. 37LC00099200.

See ad on page 45.

Karl L. Trappe, PhD; 601 Jefferson Rd, Suite 107, Parsippany, NJ 07054; 800-813-1234 or 973-428-8812; ktrappe@aol.com; Psychologist. NJ Lic. 35SI00250200. See ad on page 44.

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M E N TA L H E A LT H Since 1980, a clinic especially for the Gay/Lesbian Community…

CID

CENTER FOR IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT Offering the following services: • Individual Psychotherapy & Counseling • Group Therapy • Family Therapy • Alcoholism Counseling • Couple Counseling • Information & Referral • Psychological Testing -•CENTER DIRECTOR

JAMES V. MAHON, L.C.S.W., A.C.S.W.

BY APPOINTMENT

973-744-6386 ROBERT J. REESE, PSY.D. Clinical Psychologist 31 Trinity Place, Montclair, NJ 07042

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M E N TA L H E A LT H

Ann Cutillo, LCSW 51 Upper Montclair Plaza Upper Montclair, NJ 07043 973-509-9440 LGBTI Concerns • PTSD Certified Imago Couples Therapist Anxiety • Depression • Addiction Communication • Intimacy • Self-Esteem EMDR Trained • Certified LCSW Supervisor NJ State Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Brenda G. Forte, MSW, LCSW

NJ Lic.#44SC00077600

Intimacy / Relationship Issues Addictions / Codependency Anxiety / Depression Trauma / Abuse Stress Reduction / Spirituality Couples Counseling Mind / Body Psychotherapy

44 Elm Street, 2nd floor Morristown, NJ 07960 973-538-2818 bfortelcsw@verizon.net www.TheInstituteForChange.com

EMDR Certified / Certified Addiction Specialist

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M E N TA L H E A LT H

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M E N TA L H E A LT H Psychotherapy and Behavioral Health Consultation and Education

RUSSELL HEALY, MSW, LCSW 4 EAST CLIFF STREET • SOMERVILLE, NJ 08876 2999 PRINCETON PIKE, SUITE 5 • LAWRENCEVILLE, NJ, 08648

908-526-5784 NJ Lic. 44SC00039400

Diana Lunt, LCSW Certified Psychoanalyst Licensed Clinical Social Worker 296 Amboy Avenue Metuchen, New Jersey 08840 732-548-4145

Michele Rabinowitz, Psy.D. Licensed Psychologist N.J. License 1386 Individual /Couples Therapy Lesbian/ Gay Issues 225 Highway 35 Red Bank, NJ 07701 (732) 741-2202

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M E N TA L H E A LT H KARL L. TRAPPE, Ph.D. Psychologist

601 Jefferson Road Suite 107 Parsippany, NJ 07054

Tel: 973-428-8812 Fax: 973-515-8686 E-Mail: KTRAPPE@AOL.COM

Marsha N. Shapiro, LCSW, BCD, LLC Licensed Clinical Social Worker Board Certified Diplomate individual • couple • family • group therapy community education • staff training Offices in North Brunswick and Toms River

732-422-9400

Dr. Catherine Roland, LPC Licensed Professional Counselor - New Jersey

Individual, Partner, and Family Counseling LGBT Developmental Issues Transition Life Coaching – TLC © 51 Upper Montclair Plaza Upper Montclair, NJ 07043 973-943-1273 nj_buff@yahoo.com

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M E N TA L H E A LT H N O T F E E L I N G S O G AY. . . ?

C O NF U S E D ? A NX I O U S ? L O NE LY ? A NG R Y ?

R EL ATI O NS H I P O R FA MI LY P R O B L E M S ?

HOMOPHOBIC? HETEROPHOBIC? ADDICTED TO SOMETHING — OR SOMEONE?

DO YOUR FRIENDS WISH YOU’D GET HELP?

For skilled, supportive, professional assistance...

DEBORAH S. SMITH MS, LCADC  GAY/LESBIAN/BISEXUAL/TRANSGENDER SPECIALIST  LICENSED CLINICAL ALCOHOL & DRUG COUNSELOR  TRAINED GESTALT THERAPIST CLARITY COUNSELING & CONSULTATION

47 Maple Street, L-21 Summit, NJ 07901 Phone: 908-277-9599 License # 37LC00099200

O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Alternate Thursdays; First Lutheran Church of Montclair, 153 Park St, Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-325-6809; kjdinkin@comcast.net; Social group for women. A great place to make new friends, find support or meet someone special. We offer a comfortable, safe and friendly atmosphere for you to discuss a variety of topics with like-minded women. We meet the 2nd Thursday of every month from 7:30-9:00pm. We request a $3 donation for the Church. Any questions? Contact Kerry at kjdinkin@comcast.net.

American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey; PO Box 32159, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-642-2084; info@aclu-nj.org; www.aclu-nj.org; A non-profit, non-partisan organization working to fight civil liberties violations and to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to all people in this country by the Constitution and laws of the United States.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Asexual Visibility and Education Network; 314-210-7659; info@asexuality.org; www.asexuality.org; AVEN is a supportive community of asexual people and our allies. We seek to create open, honest public dialogue about asexuality.

The Center – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Center; 208 West 13th St, New York, NY 10011-7702; 212-620-7310; rgreen@gaycenter.org; www.gaycenter.org; New York City’s gay community center. Via subway: Take 1, 2, 3, A, C, F, V trains to 14 th St. Central Jersey Lesbian Alliance; centraljerseyla@aol.com; groups.yahoo.com/group/CJLA; The mission of the Central Jersey Lesbian Alliance is to enrich the lives of our members and exhibit a positive lesbian community example. We accomplish this through arranging supportive and comfortable venues to socialize, providing information and resources regarding lesbian events and issues, participating in community volunteer activities, encouraging communication with other lesbian organizations, and keeping abreast of political issues that affect the lesbian community.

Central NJ Gay Men’s Opera Club; New Brunswick Area; 732-249-9034; hagol@msn.com; We meet the 1st Sunday each month at 6 pm in Somerset, NJ, to share favorite opera recordings and videos and to socialize.

A Car Club for Gays and Lesbians in the NY Metro Area Contact Sandy Lea 908-392-1336 or LCCBaron@aol.com for more information.

National website: www.lambdacarclub.com

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Feminine Connection; PO Box 855, Oakland, NJ 07436; 201-337-6943; feminineconnect@aol.com; www.feminineconnect.org; Events for women: Dances, networking, scholarship awards.

Ford Gay Lesbian or Bisexual Employees (GLOBE); PMB #187, 26300 Ford Rd, Dearborn Heights, MI 48127; info@FordGLOBE.org; www.FordGLOBE.org; Ford GLOBE is an ever-expanding grassroots network of employees, retirees, and contractors at Ford Motor Company, its subsidiaries, and affiliates. We welcome new members.

GABLES of Cape May County; PO Box 641, Cape May Court House, NJ 08210; 609-861-1848; gables00@email.com; www.gablescapemay.com; Social and outreach organization whose purpose is to promote, secure, enhance, and protect the human dignity, integrity, and legal and political rights of lesbians, gays, and bisexual persons. Meets 3rd Monday of each month at 7pm at the Church of the Advent, Cape May. Garden State Bears; groups.yahoo.com/group/gardenstatebears; We are a statewide social club for Bears, Chubs, Chasers, and Admirers.

Garden State Equality; 500 Bloomfield Ave, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973GSE-LGBT (473-5428); Contact@GardenStateEquality.org; www.gardenstateequality.org; Jersey Shore office, 658 Cookman Ave, Asbury Park, NJ 07712; South Jersey office, 583 Haddon Ave, Collingswood, NJ 08108; Legislative Office; 110 West State St, Trenton, NJ 08608; Statewide organization for LGBTI civil rights, with an advocacy arm that works to pass pro-LGBTI legislation and to fight for those facing discrimination, and a political arm that works to elect pro-LGBTI candidates.

Gay & Lesbian Political Action & Support Groups; PO Box 11406, New Brunswick, NJ 08906-1406; 732-744-1370; email@gaypasg.org; www.gaypasg.org; Supporting basic Civil Rights, Same-Sex Civil Marriage, and Safe Schools as major projects.

Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County; PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961-0137; Voice mail: 973-285-1595; info@gaamc.org; www.gaamc.org; Office and meeting place: Morristown Unitarian Fellowship, 21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960. Meetings on Monday evenings. Doors open at 6:30. Building is partially wheelchair accessible. Read about us on page 8.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Gay Pride Business Network; PO Box 255, Cranford, NJ 07016; 908276-2006; info@gpbn.org; www.gpbn.org; GPBN is a business networking community dedicated to educating and motivating you to help you build relationships to grow your business. We connect to build business. All business people are welcome to join and network. We meet at Moonstruck Restaurant in Asbury Park (2nd and 4th Wednesdays) and at Catherine Lombardi’s Restaurant in New Brunswick (1st Tuesdays). See ad on page 58.

Gender Rights Advocacy Association of New Jersey (GRAANJ); c/o 119 Manor Dr, Red Bank, NJ 07701; 732-603-0514; njgender@aol.com; A statewide membership organization committed to securing full civil rights for transgendered and intersexed people, and individuals of nonstereotypical gender identity and expression, without regard to race, religion, or sexual orientation. Call or e-mail for further information.

Heritage of Pride, Inc; 154 Christopher St, Suite 1D, New York, NY 10014; 212-80-PRIDE (212-807-7433); www.nycpride.org; Heritage of Pride organizes Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered Pride events in New York City to commemorate and celebrate the Stonewall Riots. Pride Week 2011: June 18-26. 42nd anniversary of Stonewall this year.

Hudson Pride Connections Center; 32 Jones St, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201963-4779; info@hudsonpride.org; www.hudsonpride.org; Hudson Pride Connections Center is a 501(c)3 non-profit Community Center located in Hudson County, NJ, serving the GLBT Community and everyone living with HIV/AIDS. Activities, groups and programs active at HPCC include Coffee House, Out of the Box Open Mic Night, 32 Jones Art Gallery, The David Bohnett Cyber Center, Anthony Salandra Library, BLITZ, GLITZ, Jersey City Lesbian + Gay Outreach, Living Beyond Spirituality Group, Rainbow Book Group, Rainbow Recovery NA, YouthConnect, C.R.A.V.E. (Creating Relationship and Visions of Empowerment, Youth Program), Emergency Assists (Financial Assistance Program), Buddy Program (Treatment Adherence & Support Program), HIV Outreach Program, HIV Testing, and LEAP (Legal Education & Advocacy). Key events throughout the year include our LGBT Youth Prom, LGBT Annual Health Fair, World Aids Day Observance, HPC Annual Gala, and Hudson Pride’s Next Top Model. See ad on page 58.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Human Rights Campaign; Greater NY/NJ Steering Committee; www.hrc.org/contactus; http://greaterny.hrc.org; HRC envisions an America where lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people are ensured equality and embraced as full members of the American family at home, at work, and in every community.

Jersey boys of Leather; lthrpup22@aol.com; www.JerseyboysofLeather.com; A group of self-identified leather-boys. The term “leather-boy” being defined as broadly as possible with the intent of being inclusive and “boy” not being based on gender, age, sexual orientation, or appearance. Meets 3rd Thursday of each month.

Jersey Lyfe Inc.; 1729 S. Dorrance St, Philadelphia, PA 19145; 877-4285438; info@jerseylyfe.org; www.jerseylyfe.org; Jersey Lyfe is a non-profit organization geared towards uplifting the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, interested, and queer community in New Jersey and surrounding areas, including, Pennsylvania, Maryland, New York, and Delaware. Jersey Lyfe was established in an effort of offset some of these devastating statistics. With nearly 65% of the total population of the City of Camden being at-risk youth, we felt it paramount to contribute toward rebuilding these areas to include self-sustaining communities and businesses through donations, education and volunteerism. Jersey Lyfe also keeps its members in touch with events going on in Pennsylvania, Maryland, New York, and Delaware. We are the founders and co-hosts of Southern New Jersey Gay Pride Celebration established in 2007.

Jersey Pride, Inc; PO Box 10796, New Brunswick, NJ 08906; 732-21 GAY NJ (732-214-2965); info@jerseypride.org; www.jerseypride.org; The allvolunteer organization that produces NJ’s Annual Statewide Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Intersexed Pride Celebration the 1st weekend in June in Asbury Park (Saturday and Sunday, June 4 & 5, 2011).

JPI is committed to increasing the visibility of, and promoting the well being of NJ’s GLBTI community through annual pride events, year-round fundraising efforts, and production of the critically acclaimed magazine, The Jersey Gaze. See ad on page 22.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Jersey Shore Q-Spot; Jersey Shore Community Center Project, PO Box 855, Belmar, NJ 07719; info@jsqspot.org; www.jsqspot.org; Offers specific programs and services to the GLBTI Community in Monmouth and Ocean Counties, which include 4 initiatives focused on Health, Seniors, Family, and Youth. Meetings held on Monday nights in Asbury Park and a once-a-month Quesday program with speakers and other events.

Lambda Car Club; 908-392-1336; LCCBaron@aol.com; www.lambdacarclub.com; A car club for gays and lesbians in the NY Metro area. See ad on page 46.

Lesbian Sex Mafia (LSM); 208 West 13th St, New York, NY 10011; LSMNYC@hotmail.com; www.lesbiansexmafia.org; Founded in 1981, we are one of the oldest women’s BDSM support and education groups in the country. Our membership is primarily in the tri-state area of NY, NJ, and CT. LSM is a support and information group for all women 18 years of age or older, including transsexual and intersexed women who live their daily lives as women, and all female-born transgender people who feel they have a connection with and respect for the women’s community.

Our principles are few but basic: confidentiality, consensuality, safety, and the right of women to explore their sexuality as they choose.

Log Cabin Republicans of NJ; 1901 Pennsylvania Ave, NW, Suite 902, Washington, DC 20006; 973-635-5373; membership@logcabin.org; coffeelen@att.net; www.logcabin.org; Log Cabin Republicans courageously stand on the front lines of today’s most important battleground for gay and lesbian civil rights. We are the nation’s leading voice for fairness, inclusion, and tolerance in the GOP. The nation’s largest gay and lesbian Republican organization, with local chapters at the state level.

Magnus Hirschfeld Center for Human Rights; Crosswicks House, PO Box 1974, Bloomfield, NJ 07003; 862-823-1767; wacourson@hotmail.com; www.geocities.com/mhc_humanrights/index3.html; A non-governmental, non-profit organization engaged in the promotion of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender human rights and civil liberties under international law. Bill Courson, executive director.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Montclair State University: Gay & Lesbian Faculty & Staff Association; Montclair State University, 1 Normal Ave, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-655-4168; GLFSA@mail.montclair.edu; We represent the diverse community of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender faculty and staff of Montclair State University.

Multiple Sclerosis Lambda Essential Group for Support (MS LEGS); 201-788-3663; MSLEGS@Juno.com; Self-directed by GLBT people with MS and sponsored by the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, NJ Metro Chapter. MS LEGS meets monthly in Nutley, NJ, and at other Bergen & Passaic County locations for various activities. Care- and/or life-partners are welcome.

NAACP Morris County Branch; PO Box 2256, Morristown, NJ 07962; 973-219-2581; AndoverUS@Hotmail.com; www.naacp.org.

NARAL Pro-Choice New Jersey Foundation; PO Box 23312, Trenton, NJ 08607; 609-439-4516; prochoicenj@prochoicenj.org; www.prochoicenj.org; We provide materials and programs regarding the issue of reproductive and personal freedom, privacy, access to services for all people, and protection of New Jersey as a progressive haven.

Services include: Fact sheets, speakers and issue-related materials, high school and college programs, participation in statewide coalitions, and creation of legislation which protects reproductive rights. All our services are provided free of charge.

National Organization for Lesbians of SizE (NOLOSE); PO Box 5475, Oakland, CA 94805; 888-831-2139; info@nolose.org; www.nolose.org.

Morris County NOW

Supporting Gay Rights & Marriage Equality JOIN MORRIS COUNTY NOW P. O. Box 394 Morristown, New Jersey 07960 973-285-1200 MorrisCountyNOW@gmail.com www.morriscountynow.org

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S National Organization for Women – Morris County; PO Box 394, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-285-1200; MorrisCountyNOW@gmail.com; www.morriscountynow.org; Play a part in creating positive change for women and families. Make your voice heard. Meetings 1st Tuesday of the month, 7:30pm, at the Morris Plains Community Center, Jim Fear Drive.

See ad on page 51.

National Organization for Women―NJ; 110 W State St, Trenton, NJ 08608; 609-393-0156; NOW-NJ@nownj.org; www.nownj.org; Since its founding in 1966, NOW’s goal has been to take action to bring about equality for all women. NOW works to eliminate discrimination and harassment in the workplace, schools, the justice system, and all other sectors of society; secure abortion, birth control, and reproductive rights for all women; end all forms of violence against women; eradicate racism, sexism, and homophobia; and promote equality and justice in our society.

New Jersey Bares; PO Box 389, Sparta, NJ 07871; njbares@hotmail.com; www.meetup.com/new-jersey-bares; The New Jersey Bares is a gay nudist social group that holds events in New Jersey and neighboring states.

New Jersey Gay Film Society and Potluck Dinner Club; infogayfilms@earthlink.net; rsvpgayfilms@earthlink.net; groups.yahoo.com/group/NJGFSandPDC; Our group offers a GLBTIthemed movie/social event―including a friendly potluck dinner―the third Saturday of every month at 7pm at a different host’s home in northern or central NJ. We show mostly recent GLBTI movies―from comedy to drama. Admission is free, but you must bring a favorite entrée, side dish, dessert, and/or beverage to share.

New Jersey Rainbow Alliance of the Deaf; plt311@comcast.net; www.njrad.org; NJRAD a non-profit organization for Deaf LGBTIQ in NJ and its vicinities.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S

New Location!

85 Raritan Ave, First Floor Highland Park, NJ 08904-2701

Serving New Jersey’s GLBTIQ Community for more than 16 years.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S New Jersey Stonewall Democrats; PO Box 8221, New Market Station, Piscataway, NJ 08855; 732-603-0514; bcasbarsiperstein@stonewalldemocrats.org; www.njstonewalldemocrats.org; Founded in January 2000 to bring together Democrats: gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, intersexed, and heterosexual, to influence the leaders of New Jersey’s Democratic Party to understand and support equal rights for our community. From within the party itself, we maintain an ongoing dialog with leaders, helping them fight for the ideals of the Democratic Party and holding them accountable, while embracing equality for all Americans: in our party, our state, and our country. Join us now! Meets 4th Tuesday at Monmouth County Democrats HQ, 64 E Main St, Freehold, NJ 07728.

New Jersey Support Group; 206-600-7860; www.njsg.org; New Jersey Support Group provides a cultural medium for all identifying as transgender, transsexual, or crossdresser in NJ & East PA through which we can give & receive support by sharing our diverse life experiences as gifted individuals. We provide a relaxed, noncompetitive, informal, & safe atmosphere for all members of the transgender community regardless of their age, race, religious affiliation, or sexual orientation.

North Jersey Prime Timers; PO Box 89, Sussex, NJ 07461; 201-8410826; mgrifone@embarqmail.com; www.primetimersww.org; www.meetup.com/North-Jersey-Primetimers; The North Jersey Prime Timers is devoted to increasing the social activities of mature gay and bisexual men.

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays―PFLAG Chapters; info@pflag.org; http://community.pflag.org; Find a PFLAG Chapter near you. PFLAG was founded in 1981 by 25 parents concerned with society’s attitude toward their gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered children. Today, PFLAG represents more than 65,000 families and friends in the United States and speaks for the thousands of others who cannot. We are dedicated to providing support, education, and advocacy to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people, their families, and their friends. New members always welcome.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S PFLAG-Bergen County; PO Box 1330, Ridgewood, NJ 07450; 201-2870318; info@BergenPFLAG.org; www.BergenPFLAG.org; We provide a safe, friendly space where parents and loved ones can voice their concerns about GLBT issues. Meets at Temple Beth-Or, 56 Ridgewood Rd, Washington Township, on the 3rd Tuesday of each month, 8-10pm; Newcomers, 7:30pm.

PFLAG-Collingswood; PO Box 8941, Collingswood, NJ 08108; 609-2024622; pflagcollingswood@yahoo.com; www.pflag.org; Meetings are held at 771 Haddon Ave, Collingswood, NJ 08108, 4th Monday of most months, 6:30 to 9pm; see website to confirm meeting date each month.

PFLAG-Hunterdon; 908-752-1370; pflaghc@yahoo.com; Meetings are held at Flemington Presbyterian Church, 10 East Main St, Flemington, NJ, on the 3rd Tuesday of each month at 7:30pm.

PFLAG-Jersey Shore (Monmouth County); Church House of the Presbyterian Church at Shrewsbury, 352 Sycamore Ave, Shrewsbury, NJ 07702; 908-814-2155; jspflag@gmail.com; www.jerseyshorepflag.org; Meeting monthly on 2nd Monday, from 7-9pm. Not affiliated with any religion.

PFLAG-Jersey Shore (Transgender & Trans Family); Monmouth County Area; 908-814-2155; jspflag@gmail.com; www.jerseyshorepflag.org; If you are transgender, or have a family member that is transgender, this group is here to support you. Please check our website for meeting times and location.

PFLAG-Jersey Shore (Ocean County); 1681 Ridgeway Rd. (Route 571), Toms River, NJ 08757; 908-814-2155; jspflag@gmail.com; www.jerseyshorepflag.org; The group meets at 7pm the 2nd Wednesday of each month at the United Church of Christ of Toms River. Not affiliated with any religion.

PFLAG-Morris County; PO Box 490, Brookside, NJ 07926; 973-5437229; craig.bcc@verizon.net; pflag.morris@verizon.net; Meets at 7:30pm on the 2nd Monday of each month at Brookside Community Church, 8 E. Main St, Brookside. Directions at www.brooksidechurch.org.

PFLAG-North Jersey; PO Box 4585, Wayne, NJ 07470; 908-789-7489; pflagwaver@aol.com; www.pflagnorthjersey.org; Meeting is located in South Orange, NJ. (Contact us by helpline or e-mail for exact location.) We now meet the 2nd THURSDAY of the month, from 7:30 to 9pm.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S PFLAG-Princeton; c/o HiTOPS Inc, 21 Wiggins St, Princeton, NJ 08540; 609-683-5155 x217; corrine@hitops.org; www.pflagprinceton.org; Meets the 2nd Monday of each month at Trinity Church, 33 Mercer St, Princeton, in the George Thomas Room at 7:30pm.

PFLAG-Sparta/Northwestern New Jersey; Sparta United Methodist Church, 71 Sparta Ave, Sparta, NJ 07871; 973-670-7228; goodag@embarqmail.com.

Pocono Warriors; PO Box 338, Rahway, NJ 07065; CNJBrownBear@aol.com; www.poconowarriors.org; A Levi/Leather men’s club. We meet several times a year, mostly in New York City and Philadelphia. We are involved in helping the leather community through sponsoring and participating in charitable fund raising events, including hosting our own annual “100 Men in the Woods.”

Pride Center of New Jersey; 85 Raritan Ave, Suite 100, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2430; 732-846-2232; info@pridecenter.org; www.pridecenter.org; A fast growing community center, The Pride Center provides a “safe space” for the LGBTIQ community: a place to learn about our community from a vast array of resources, a place to socialize and meet new friends, and a place to gain acceptance and understanding of your gender or sexual identity in comfortable setting. The Pride Center offers a warm and welcoming atmosphere and a knowledgeable and helpful staff. Whether New Jersey’s LGBTIQ community is new or familiar to you, the Pride Center is a place to call home and return again and again. Our many groups include: Arts Adventures, Bisexual Social Support, Booked for Lunch, ComeOUT and Play (20’s/30’s men and women), Educational Forum, Games Night, Gay Dad’s Support, Gay Men’s Guild, Gay Men’s Living Out, Karaoke Party, Lesbians and Gay Men of New Brunswick, LGBT Activist Forum, Meditation Group, Men’s Coming Out Support, Movie Social, Overeater’s Anonymous, Rock Hero Night, Stitch n’Bitch, Strategy Game, Parents of GLBTIQ Youth/Young Adults Support, Torah Queeries, Trueselves (transgender support), Women Coming Out Support, Writer’s Group, Yoga for Men, Youth Drop In, “Out of the Box” Open Mic Night, and much more…

Open Week nights 7-10PM and some weekends. See ad on page 53.

The Pride Network; Asbury Park, NJ; 516-463-6047; Question@ThePrideNetwork.org; www.ThePrideNetwork.org.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Rainbow Families of New Jersey; PO Box 1385, Maplewood, NJ 07040; 973-763-8511; info@rainbowfamiliesnj.org; www.rainbowfamiliesnj.org; Provides a means for GLBT parents in New Jersey to form a community, supports other GLBT individuals in their efforts to become parents, fosters awareness of and respect for GLBT-headed households to the general public, and advocates for the issues and concerns that face GLBT families.

South Jersey NOW-Alice Paul Chapter; PO Box 2801, Cherry Hill, NJ 08034; 856-778-8320; outreach@southjerseynow.org; www.southjerseynow.org; This chapter of NOW is involved in so many different activities that there is usually something for everyone. Whether your key issue is equal pay for equal work, ending violence against women, reproductive rights, child care, divorce law, women in politics, or ending racism, this chapter is doing something about it. Two free chapter newsletters sent on request (leave message on our answering machine or e-mail your request).

Trenton Gay and Lesbian Civic Association; PO Box 33209, 986 South Broad St, Trenton, NJ 08629-0209; 609-396-9788; info@tglca.com; www.tglca.com; Fosters greater participation of Trenton’s gays and lesbians in civic life, promotes the positive aspects of Trenton to gays and lesbians from other communities, and acts as a liaison between the gay and lesbian community and government. Meets every 3rd Wednesday of the month at 7pm at the Mill Hill Saloon, 300 S. Broad St. at Market St, Trenton.

Tuesday Night Lesbian Connection (TLC); 500 Mountain Ave, Bound Brook, NJ 08805; 732-371-3466; info4tnlc@yahoo.com; groups.yahoo.com/group/info4tnlc; Meets every Tuesday at 8pm in Freeman Chapel. Established in 1994 as a safe place for lesbians to socialize and support each other, we have helped create many lasting friendships and continue to provide the opportunity to meet and get to know others through a variety of discussion topics and activities. Send an e-mail to get on our e-mail list for a current schedule.

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O R G A N I Z AT I O N S

Catherine Lombardi

Moonstruck

3 Livingston Ave New Brunswick, NJ

512 Lake Ave Asbury Park, NJ

1st Tuesday of Month

2nd & 4th Wednesdays of Month

www.gpbn.org

e-mail: info@gpbn.org

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P H Y S I C A L H E A LT H

AND

FITNESS

Fit-Well Personal Training, LLC; Christopher Selitto, Owner & Certified Trainer; 37 Mountain Ave, Springfield, NJ 07081; 973-379-6366; fitwell@comcast.net; www.fitwelltraining.com; Personal trainers, fitness consultants, and certified massage therapists. See ad below.

Healthy Transitions, LLC; located near the border of Somerset and Morris Counties, NJ; 908-647-1688; www.healthytransitions.md; Our services include discreet medical care and counseling for gay, lesbian, bisexual, intersexed, and transgendered clients, as well as their families and friends. See ad on page 60.

Heartful Touch; Dennis Sprick; 366 A Shore Dr, Montague, NJ 07827; 973-901-2306; theheartfultouch@yahoo.com; www.heartfultouch.com; Swedish massage, reflexology, and CranioSacral Therapy. In or outcalls, Gift Certificates available. Serving the GLBTI Community since 1998. Call Dennis for an appointment.

FIT WELL

37 Mountain Avenue Springfield, New Jersey

973-379-6366

Personal Training • Individualized Exercise Programs • One-to-One Supervision • Certified Personal Trainers • Certified Massage Therapists

Christopher Selitto, Owner & Certified Trainer

Serving the GLBTI Community Since 1992

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P H Y S I C A L H E A LT H

AND

FITNESS

Holistic Couture, LLC; 525 East Main St, Chester, NJ07930; 201-3232937; holisticcouture@gmail.com; www.holisticcouture.com; Justin Mendoza of Holistic Couture, LLC is your personal Nutrition and Image Consultant. He is board-certified by the AADP and was previously a head fashion designer in Manhattan. Justin’s holistic approach helps clients feel good both inside and out. Like haute couture, the program is tailored to your unique body, lifestyle and concerns, whether that’s weight loss, energy, stress, relationships, chronic illness, etc.. Justin guides and supports you in making step-by-step, easily integrated changes to stay on track and reach goals permanently. Learn why bliss is the new black!

NJ Center for the Healing Arts; 623 River Rd, Fair Haven, NJ 07704; 2006 Highway 71, Suite 2, Spring Lake, NJ 07762; 732-747-2944; www.njcha.org.

Planned Parenthood Affiliates of New Jersey; PO Box 512, Trenton, NJ 08603-9985; 800-230-PLAN (7526) for your closest health center or 609278-5863 for the public affairs office; info.ppanj@ppfa.org; www.plannedparenthoodnj.org; Planned Parenthood Affiliates of New Jersey is the statewide public affairs office that represents the 5 Planned Parenthood affiliates throughout the Garden State. Its role is to enhance our ability to protect reproductive freedom and to ensure access to reproductive health care to all New Jerseyans, regardless of individual circumstance. Collectively, Planned Parenthood operates 29 health centers around the state that provide high-quality, affordable medical care to approximately 85,500 patients each year.

Healthy Transitions, LLC is a practice developed by members of the GLBTI/Kink Community for members of the GLBTI/Kink Community and their families. We strive to create a confidential, safe and caring environment to provide quality medical and mental health services in one location. Dr. Lisa O’Connor specializes in:

Lisa O’Connor, M.D. Healthy Transitions, LLC Stirling, NJ www.healthytransitions.md Tel: 908-647-1688

 Medical Management: medication management, supervised hormone replacement therapy  Mental Health Counseling  Primary Health Care  Free MtF Transgender Support Group  Public Speaking, Education, Seminars

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AND

FITNESS

Jonathan Taylor, Chiropractor; 25 Lindsley Drive, Suite 202, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-539-3444; www.TaylorChiro.net; NJ Lic. MC04015.

Visiting Nurse Association of Central Jersey; 176 Riverside Ave, Red Bank, NJ 07701; 800-862-3330; www.vnacj.org; Compassionate, caring, patient-centered, delivered to you by people who take the time to know you, not just your medical history. We bring advanced care to where you’re most comfortable and can heal the fastest—your home.

Watchung Pediatrics; 76 Stirling Rd, Suite 201, Warren, NJ 07059; 908755-5437; and 346 South Ave, Suite 3, Fanwood, NJ 07023; 908-8898687; www.WatchungPediatrics.com; Committed to providing accessible and quality care to all children!

Women’s Health and Counseling Center; Sexual Assault Support Services, 71 Fourth St, Somerville, NJ 08876; 908-526-2335 x 130; Hotline: 908-526-7444.

PRINT / RADIO / WEB Challenge; PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961; Challenge@gaamc.org; www.gaamc.org; The Best Damn Newsletter in New Jersey®. A benefit of GAAMC membership, or available by subscription ($25/year). See ad on page 15.

GAAMC - Yahoo Group; groups.yahoo.com/group/GAAMC; This group provides a forum for GAAMC members and non-members to exchange ideas and make announcements pertinent to our community.

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PRINT / RADIO / WEB The Gate; TheGateNews@Yahoogroups.com; Join e-mail list: thegatenews-subscribe@yahoogroups.com; Your Gateway to BDSM & Alternative Lifestyles: The Gate’s Mailing List - The Gate helps educate and promotes all events up and down the East Coast and then some.

Gayellow Pages; PO Box 533-GAA, Village Station, New York, NY 10014; 646-213-0263; gypages@gmail.com; www.gayellowpages.com; The ORIGINAL LGBT yellow pages: since 1973. See ad on page 63.

GenderTalk!; nancy@gendertalk.com; www.gendertalk.com; We’re the leading radio program advocating for transgender rights and dignity, while also exploring related issues that affect us all, like gender, sex, race, class, and more. So enjoy yourself. Poke around a bit. Listen to a program or two. Take your time. We’ll leave the server on for you.

Generation Q; 732-932-7800 x913; wrsu@wrsu.rutgers.edu; wrsu.rutgers.edu; Queer Radio from New Brunswick with Pedro Serrano.

Wednesdays 2-4pm on WRSU-FM 88.7.

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Directory of Services and Resources; New York City Office of the Comptroller, 1 Centre St, New York, NY 10007-2341; 212-669-2697; action@comptroller.nyc.gov; www.comptroller.nyc.gov/bureaus/cac/faq.shtm#seven; The directory includes information from New York City and the metropolitan area, including New Jersey. The directory also is available online in PDF. New Jersey Southern Shores Rainbow Directory; PO Box 812, Cape May, NJ 08204; 609-861-1848; rainbowdirectory@gmail.com; www.njrainbowdirectory.com; Published by GABLES of Cape May County, Inc. An annual directory of businesses and organizations that proudly serve the LGBTQI Community of New Jersey. Winner of the NJ Governor’s Award for Excellence in Tourism.

NJGayLife.com; c/o Pressing Issues Inc, PO Box 224, Metuchen, NJ 08840; 732-549-9054; info@njgaylife.com; www.njgaylife.com; Experience the new NJGayLife.com! Keeping the community connected since 1997. See ad on page 61.

Out IN Jersey magazine; 743 Hamilton Ave, Trenton, NJ 08629; 609-2139310; peterfrycki@outinjersey.net; www.outinjersey.net; New Jersey’s free and independent source for GLBTI news and views. See ad on page 64.

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PRINT / RADIO / WEB

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PRINT / RADIO / WEB

Congratulates The Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County (GAAMC) and the NJ LGBTI Pride Guide.

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Home Staging

by Jeffrey Zaleski While Home Staging is a familiar term to many, it is still a fairly new concept. Home Staging is a “hands on” approach that prepares a home for sale by eliminating clutter and using furniture placement and organization to enhance the appeal and assets a home has to offer, both inside and out. Although there are various other forms of Home Staging, one of the most efficient and cost effective methods is the practice of using the home owner’s own furnishings and accessories.

The appearance and allure of your home’s exterior is known as Curb Appeal, which represents the first impression of your home. The appearance of your home from the exterior is as important as the interior.

If the exterior is not appealing to potential buyers, they will assume the interior evokes the same feeling. “You never get a second chance to make a good first impression!”

Home buyers usually cannot visualize a home’s potential. Various real estate sources report that a home buyer can make up their mind about a home they are viewing in the first 10 seconds. This does not give much room for error. Every home has a unique feature that makes it different and helps it stand out from other homes on the market. Fine tuning and finishing touches are an important part of the home’s presentation, making Home Staging an essential part of the home selling process.

The first few weeks that a house is on the market are the most crucial.

That is when it gets the most activity. With open houses and other agents and brokers touring, it makes those first few weeks the most critical time to stage. Ideally a home should be staged before going on the market, although it is not unusual for homes to be staged after being on the market for some time, but I suggest following that up with an open house to regenerate interest and let everyone see the efforts made to show off the home’s potential.

The Real Estate Staging Association recently released statistics showing that staged homes sold 46% faster in 2007, and 89% faster in 2008.

Vacant homes that were staged sold 68% faster in 2007 and 85% faster in 2008, versus vacant homes that were not staged. According to US Housing and Urban Development a staged home will sell for an average of 17% higher than those homes that were not staged. According to the

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National Association of Realtors, the average staging investment is between 1% and 3% of the home’s asking price, which generates an 8% to 10% return.

As with any investment there are no guarantees, but the statistics speak for themselves. In the end, a home owner can rest assured that everything possible was done to get a quick sale at top dollar.

Helpful Hint: If you have a collection of plates, mugs, or trophies adorning your walls or book cases, please take them down and package them up for the move prior to marketing the home. Potential home buyers get distracted by personal tastes and collections of the home owner, and then you have a head start by packing a few boxes.

Jeffrey Zaleski is a professional, staging homes throughout northern and central New Jersey and neighboring states. Jeffrey can be reached by calling 201-715-6576, or via e-mail at Jeffrey@StageitSellitNJ.com.

R E A L E S TAT E S E R V I C E S Linda Leaman; 973-214-2309; RealtorLady2010@yahoo.com. See ad below.

Robert Ort, Weichert Realtors; 64 Main St, Chatham, NJ 07928; Office: 973-635-5000; Cell: 973-476-5505; chathambobort@aol.com; www.bobort.com.

Linda Leaman

Referral Associate • Licensed Salesperson

Cell 973-214-2309 realtorlady2010@yahoo.com I connect you with a Realtor® anywhere Commercial or Residential

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R E A L E S TAT E S E R V I C E S Stage It, Sell It, NJ; Serving Northern New Jersey, 201-715-6576; Jeffrey@StageitSellitNJ.com; buckminsterfullerene; We offer a full range of affordable home-staging services to agents and home owners. Read the Home Staging article in Pride Guide, then call or e-mail to learn how we can make your home shine and help you sell faster, for more. See Jeffrey’s article on page 65.

RELIGION SPIRITUALITY Bound Brook Presbyterian Church; 409 Mountain Ave, Bound Brook, NJ 08805; 732-356-3575; info@bbpc.org; www.bbpc.org; People of all sexual orientations will find a safe and affirming place here. Services Sat. at 5pm and Sun. at 9 & 11am. Father’s Day through Labor Day: one Sun. service at 9:30am.

Central Unitarian Church of Bergen County; 156 Forest Ave, Paramus, NJ 07652; 201-262-6300; www.cucparamus.org; We are a church without creed or dogma. Our faith emphasizes the inherent worth and dignity of all people, personal religious integrity, moral commitment, and a free and responsible search for truth and meaning. We welcome all people of good faith and, as a Welcoming Congregation, make a special effort to be inclusive of GLBTI people. Sunday services are at 10:30am.

Christ Episcopal Church; 74 Park Ave, Glen Ridge, NJ 07028; 973-743-5911; ccinbgnj@verizon.net; www.christchurchepiscopal.org; Christ Church is a diverse, inclusive Episcopal parish in the Diocese of Newark. We welcome all of God’s people with open arms. Our building is wheelchair-accessible.

Church of the Incarnation (Episcopal); 68 Storms Ave, Jersey City, NJ 073063316; 201-434-4810; Lyric440@gmail.com; www.visitcinarnation.com; Church of the Incarnation is a diverse and inclusive Anglican/Episcopal congregation offering radical hospitality and radical welcome through enthusiastic worship, engaging community outreach and empowering spiritual learning. We invite our LGBTI sisters and brothers to share their faith journey with ours. Sundays at 10:30am. All are welcome!

Church of the Messiah; 50 Route 24 West, Chester, NJ 07930-2410; 908-879-5736; info@messiahchester.org; www.messiahchester.org.

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RELIGION SPIRITUALITY Church of the Redeemer; 36 South St, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-5390703; webmaster@redeemermorristown.org; www.redeemermorristown.org; We Are One Family. Sunday services: 8 and 10:30am (9:30 in summer). All are welcome!

Dharmachakra Buddhist Center; 2933 Vauxhall Rd, in Milburn Mall, Vauxhall, NJ 07088; 973-847-5471; info@meditatenj.org; www.meditatenj.org; Dharmachakra Buddhist Center is a Buddhist meditation center in northern New Jersey. We offer instruction in meditation and Buddhist spiritual practice through meditation classes, meditation retreats and special meditation events. Meditation is for everyone, from those who seek relaxation to those who wish to follow the Buddhist spiritual path. We promote the teachings and ideals of Kadampa Buddhism in northern New Jersey.

Dignity Metro NJ; c/o St George’s Episcopal Church, 550 Ridgewood Rd, Maplewood, NJ 07040; 973-509-0118; dignitymetronj@msn.com; www.metronj.dignityusa.org; A Haven for GLBT Catholics in Northern New Jersey. See ad below.

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RELIGION SPIRITUALITY Dignity New Brunswick; 109 Nichol Ave, New Brunswick, NJ 08906; 732-968-9263; dignitynb@earthlink.net; home.earthlink.net/~dignitynb; For GLBT Catholics and friends, we meet at the New Brunswick Quaker Meeting House twice monthly for liturgies and social events. See ad on page 68.

Emanuel Evangelical Lutheran Church; New & Kirkpatrick Streets, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; 732-545-2673; emanuelnb.org@gmail.com; www.emanuelnb.org; Emanuel is a warm, friendly, gay welcoming church.

Regular services are Sunday mornings at 10:30, summer services (June – August) are at 9:30. Large gay/lesbian membership. The pastor is Jeffrey Eaton.

First Presbyterian & Trinity Church; 111 Irvington Ave, South Orange, NJ 07079; 973-762-7879; www.diversechurch.com; Sunday worship 10:30am. A More Light Church, welcoming GLBTI people.

First Presbyterian Church; 112 Washington Pl, Passaic, NJ 07055; 973473-4107; info@passaicpresbyterian.org; www.passaicpresbyterian.org.

See ad on page 70.

Grace Church in Newark (Episcopal); 950 Broad St, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-484-3003; rector@gracechurchinnewark.org; www.gracechurchinnewark.org; Beautiful and reverent Catholic worship.

Traditional liturgical music led by professional choir. A thoughtful approach to scripture and tradition. A welcoming and affirming congregation. Sunday Masses: 8am (Said) and 10am (Sung). Weekday Masses: 12:10pm Monday-Friday.

New Jersey’s Lesbian & Gay Havurah A Circle of Friends Celebrating our Jewish Heritage

λ Join us for

social  religious  cultural  educational activities every month info@njhav.org

732-650-1010

www.njhav.org

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RELIGION SPIRITUALITY Integrity NYC Metro; newark@integrityusa.org; www.integritynycmetro.org; Integrity NYC Metro is the local presence of the national organization for LGBT Episcopalians. We organize the Episcopal presence at area pride events and provide social, spiritual, educational and advocacy programs.

Latter Rain Temple; 40 S. Fullerton Ave, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-874-3209; Come experience the radically inclusive love of Jesus Christ. Worship service: 3:00pm Sundays. A place where all God’s children are welcome.

Liberation in Truth Unity Fellowship Church; 11 Halsey St, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-621-2100 or 973-424-9555; JanyceLJ@aol.com; www.litufc.org; LITUFC is a member of the Unity Fellowship Movement.

Our Social Justice Ministry proclaims the sacredness of all life and focuses on empowering those who have been oppressed. We believe that God’s Love is for Everyone regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation.

Founded in 1995 to provide a safe and spiritual worship space for the LGBTI community. Service held Sundays at 1:30pm.

First Presbyterian Church 112 Washington Pl., Passaic, NJ 07055

973-473-4107 www.passaicpresbyterian.org

We celebrate God’s gift of grace to everyone.

Please join us: 11:00am Sunday Worship Offering GLBT Social gatherings, Union Services, music, baptisms, food programs, Bible Study, prayer, thrift shop, community service opportunities

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RELIGION SPIRITUALITY Metropolitan Community Church of Christ the Liberator; PO Box 7422, North Brunswick, NJ 08902; 732-846-8227; info@mccctl.com; www.mccctl.com; MCC-CTL―Helping All People Believe that God Believes in Them!

Morristown Unitarian Fellowship; 21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960; 973-540-1177; amiller@muuf.org; www.muuf.org; Unitarian Universalism has a long-standing commitment to the full inclusion and affirmation of all persons, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. We Stand on the Side of Love.

New Jersey’s Lesbian and Gay Havurah; PO Box 2576, Edison, NJ 08818-2576; 732-650-1010; info@njhav.org; www.njhav.org; A circle of friends celebrating our Jewish heritage. NJLGH is a state-wide organization serving the needs of the GLBTI Jewish community since 1991 by providing social, religious, cultural, and education activities every month. See ad on page 69.

The OASIS in the Episcopal Diocese of New Jersey; 732-591-9210 (Trinity Church, Matawan); 973-783-9533 (St. John’s Church, Elizabeth); oasisnj@comcast.net; http://oasisnj.home.comcast.net; Ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of New Jersey with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, intersexed, and heterosexual people.

“Catholics Without Judgment” We are an independent Parish that lives and worships in the Catholic tradition. Welcoming all to an inclusive experience of the Love of God. Mass is celebrated each Sunday at 12:00noon.

195 Ridgewood Ave. Glen Ridge, NJ 07028 An American National Catholic Church

To learn more about us visit www.StFrancisNJ.org or e-mail StFrancisNJ@gmail.com or call 973-506-8174

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RELIGION SPIRITUALITY The OASIS - Diocese of Newark; 31 Mulberry St, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-615-6377; admin@oasisnewark.org; www.oasisnewark.org; The OASIS is the ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of Newark to LGBT persons.

We provide a variety of social, educational advocacy services and represent over 50 welcoming congregations in northern NJ. Rainbow Revs; rainbowrevs@yahoo.com.

Rev. Mitzi & Tabby Ministry; 172 Jefferson Ave, North Plainfield, NJ070603926; 908-279-4792; rev.mitzi.tabby@comcast.net; www.mitzitabbyministry.net; The Mitzi & Tabby Ministry is neither a gay religion nor a church. We are a gay spiritual movement. We are a non-denominational, nonChristian ministry, open to all. Rev. Mitzi is a spiritual consultant and an ordained minister who can perform nuptials, baptisms, transitions and memorial services.

St. Francis of Assisi Church; 195 Ridgewood Ave, Glen Ridge, NJ 07028; 973506-8174; stfrancisnj@gmail.com; www.stfrancisnj.org. See ad on page 71.

St. James’ Episcopal Church; 214 Washington St, Hackettstown, NJ 07840; 908-852-3968; stjames214@comcast.net; www.stjameshackettstown.org.

St. John’s Church (Episcopal/Anglican); 215 Lafayette Ave, Passaic, NJ 070554711; 973-779-0966; frthiele@gmail.com; www.stjohnschurchpassaicnj.org; Sunday Masses: Low Mass at 8:00am. Sung Mass at 10:30am. Holy Days as announced. Thrift Shop: hours 11:00am - 4:00pm, Tuesdays and Saturdays.

Diverse congregation—all are welcome!

St. John’s Episcopal Church; 226 Cornelia St, Corner of Cedar St, Boonton, NJ 07005; 973-334-3655; admin@stjohnsboonton.com; www.stjohnsboonton.com.

St. John’s Episcopal Church; 55 Montclair Ave, Montclair, NJ 07042; 973-746-2474; andrewbutler@saintjohnsmontclair.org; www.saintjohnsmontclair.org; St. John’s is an open and affirming parish located in Montclair, NJ. Our diverse congregation includes several lesbian and gay couples, many with children. We’ve also conducted several samegender blessings in our church. Our priest is gay and understands the needs of LGBT folks searching for a progressive spiritual community.

Sunday worship services are at 8am and 10am during the school year and 9:30am during the summer. Consult our website for additional information about outreach and faith formation opportunities.

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RELIGION SPIRITUALITY St. Mark’s Episcopal Church; 118 Chadwick Rd, Teaneck, NJ 07666; 973-615-6377; office@stmarksteaneck.org; www.stmarksteaneck.org; St. Mark’s “Celebrates God’s Inclusive Love” with Sunday services at 8, 9, 11 and 6:30pm every Sunday and a variety of programs. We welcome people and families of every kind to our fully-accessible faith community!

St. Peter’s Episcopal Church; 50 Edgemere Ave, Mt. Arlington, NJ 07856; Mail: PO Box 403, Mt. Arlington, NJ 07856; 973-398-1890; StPetersMtArlington@gmail.com; www.stpetersmtarlington.weebly.com; An open and welcoming family of faith. Visit us and see for yourself!

Sunday Services at 10am, 9am in Summer.

St. Peter’s Episcopal Church; 380 Clifton Ave, Clifton, NJ 07011; 973546-5020; revpdefranco@optonline.net; www.stpetersclifton.org; Sunday services: 8:00am and 10:15am.

St. Thomas Episcopal Church; 307 Route 94, Vernon, NJ 07462; 973764-7506; clergy-st-thomas-vernon@earthlink.net; www.st-thomasvernon.org; We’re the Episcopal Church in the Vernon area and we welcome Absolutely Everybody! No need to leave your brain at the door.

Iv you’ve been missing God or simply want to know more, come check us out.

Skylands Unitarian Universalist Fellowship; 1811 Route 57, Hackettstown, NJ 07840; Mail: PO Box 7110, Hackettstown, NJ 07840; 908-684-4040; www.skylandsuu.org; We celebrate the inherent worth and dignity of every person and family, and welcome GLBTI people into all aspects of congregational life. Sunday Services, 10:15 to 11:30am. For more information, contact Maureen Bonner at 908-875-8839.

Stanley Congregational Church, United Church of Christ; 94 Fairmount Ave, Chatham, NJ 07928; 973-635-7723; office@stanleychurch.org; www.stanleychurch.org; Wherever you are on life’s journey, you’re welcome here. We are an Open & Affirming congregation. Join us for worship on Sundays at 10am. Please visit our website to learn more about us.

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RELIGION SPIRITUALITY Temple Beth Ahm Yisrael; 60 Temple Dr, Springfield, NJ 07081; 973376-0539; execdirector@templebethahmyisrael.com; www.templebethahmyisrael.com; A Conservative Egalitarian synagogue in Union County. We are an inclusive congregation, welcoming the broader community of mature couples, singles, “traditional” Jewish families, interfaith families, and gay, lesbian, and transgendered Jews. We are dedicated to enriching the lives of our congregational family by providing an inviting environment for spiritual, educational, and social interaction and growth. Our Jewish Gay and Lesbian Education and Outreach Committee sponsors meetings and events throughout the year.

Unitarian Church in Summit; 4 Waldron Ave, Summit, NJ 07901; 908273-3245; uucs@ucsummit.org; www.ucsummit.org; Like other Unitarian-Universalist congregations, we embrace a set of guiding principles but do not have a creed, or fixed set of beliefs, that members are expected to adopt. We are a Welcoming Congregation.

Unitarian Society of Ridgewood; 113 Cottage Pl, Ridgewood, NJ 07450; 201-444-6225; usr.administrator@verizon.net; www.uuridgewood.org; A place where you will find inspiration in the richness of diverse beliefs and the power of community. Services during the school year are held at 9:00am and 10:30am. Summer services are held at 10:00. We welcome and affirm GLBTQ people. The Living the Welcoming committee works to enhance the understanding of GLBTI issues. Join us!

Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Somerset Hills We welcome all, regardless of color, creed, or sexual orientation.

Sunday Services: 10:00am 123 East Cliff Street, Somerville, NJ 08876 Visit our website to read our statement on marriage equality.

Phone: 908-927-0601 uucsh@uucsh.org www.uucsh.org

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RELIGION SPIRITUALITY Unitarian Universalist Church at Washington Crossing; 268 Washington Crossing-Pennington Rd, Titusville, NJ 08560; 609-737-0515; uucwc@uucwc.org; www.uucwc.org; Unanimously affirms the right of same gender couples to be married.

Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Somerset Hills; 123 East Cliff St, Somerville, NJ 08876; 908-927-0601; uucsh@uucsh.org; www.uucsh.org.

See ad on page 74.

Unitarian Universalist Ocean County Congregation; PO Box 5184, Toms River, NJ 08754; 732-244-3455; uuocc_nj@yahoo.com; www.uuocc.org; A Welcoming Congregation. Services are on Sundays at 2pm at UCC of Toms River, 1681 Ridgeway Rd, (Route 571). Directions at www.tomsriverucc.org.

United Church of Christ of Toms River; 1681 Ridgeway Rd. (Route 571), Toms River, NJ 08757; 732-244-4014; Pastor_Linda@tomsriverucc.org; www.tomsriverucc.org; No matter who you are or where you are on life’s journey, you are welcome here. Regular Services are Sundays at 11am.

Call for wheelchair access information.

SERVICES Lorraine Cannata, Certified Clinical Electrologist; Morris County Area; 973-770-3552; Permanent hair removal. Hours by appointment. See ad on page 76.

DJG Associates; 18 Passaic Ave, Unit 6, Fairfield, NJ 07004; 973-2767901; www.djgonline.com; Proud printer of GAAMC’s Pride Guide for the eighth year! See ad on page 77.

Sue Harris, Private Tutor; Morris County Area; 908-581-0098; sueharris59@yahoo.com; 33 years of tutoring experience. Specializing in Math and Computers. All grades and levels from Addition to Vectors. Plus science, English, and social studies. See ad on page 76.

Jewelry Repair Center, LLC; 1602-A Union Valley Rd, West Milford, NJ07480; 973-728-3925; JRCLLC08@Yahoo.com; Expert jewelry and watch repair on premises. Silver, gold and costume jewelry. Custom pieces from your ideas. Insurance appraisals. Cash for gold. Open Tuesdays through Saturdays. See ad on page 78.

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SERVICES Andy Skurna Computer Sales & Service Website Development Andy@Skurna.com (862) 812-3105

Tutoring By Sue! Specialties: Math & Computers.

Elementary through Graduate School.

All Topics: From Addition to Vectors, plus Science, English, & Social Studies.

Sue Harris: 908-581-0098 34 years of experience

Lorraine Cannata Certified Clinical Electrologist (Electrolysis is Forever) Permanent Hair Removal Hours by Appointment

973-770-3552

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SERVICES Rockin’ T Entertainment / DJ Tom Rocco; Eastern PA, Northern NJ, NYC area, Western CT; 800-HAS-BIGDj (800-427-2443); djrocknt@aol.com; Music for every Affair. Rates starting at $125 per hour (3 hour minimum).

Elias Scultori; Personal/Professional Coaching; 732-419-2566; elias@lifecoaching-egs.com; www.lifecoaching-egs.com; Tired of vicious cycles? Ready to embrace life? Let’s together build the path that will lead you to reaching your most important life goals and dreams. Yes, you can!

Andy Skurna; Serving Northern New Jersey, 862-812-3105; Andy@Skurna.com; www.Skurna.com; Sales and service of many brands of computers, printers and related software and peripherals. Domains registered and websites developed. See ad on page 76.

Space Reserved...for you!

See the centerfold to learn more.

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S P O R T S R E C R E AT I O N Garden State Gay Bowling Organization (GSGBO); info@GSGBO.com; www.gsgbo.com; A fun social, mixed bowling league open to all bowlers, regardless of sex, race, religion, or sexual orientation, meeting at Nationwide Hudson Lanes (1 Garfield Ave, Jersey City, NJ) Tuesday nights at 8pm. Season runs from September to May. GayOutdoors.org; www.gayoutdoors.org; Gay Outdoors (G.O.) is a network of GLBTIs that plans outdoor events and adventures through the US. Ed, from GAAMC’s Board of Trustees, organizes events throughout NJ and neighboring states using G.O. to coordinate and communicate with participants. Most events are free and easy, and all are fun! All participants are responsible for their own transportation, safety and expenses. Send e-mail to sche357@aol.com to get on the invitation list.

June: Delaware Water Gap Hike; July: Craftsman Farms & Stickley Museum; August: Tubing Down the Delaware; September: Spruce Run Park Hike & Potluck Picnic; October: Unionville Vineyards; November: Edison Museum; February: Snow Tubing in the Poconos; March: Great Swamp Hike.

New Jersey Eagles Motorcycle Club; Asbury Park, NJ 07712; dave@njeagles.com; www.njeagles.com; New Jersey’s largest and oldest gay men’s motorcycle club. The Eagles MC focuses exclusively on riding, and the bonds and brotherhood that riding together brings. We serve the entire tri-state area, with members primarily from New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania.

North Jersey Gay and Lesbian Bowlers (NJGLB); 66 Bergen Blvd, West Paterson, NJ 07424; 973-256-5936; 201-247-2427; njglb@njglb.org; www.njglb.org; A Rock ’n’ Bowl league meeting on Tuesday nights at 9:10pm (September to May) at Brunswick Olympic Bowl, 679 Washington Ave, Belleville.

Outbike NJ; OutbikeNJ@yahoo.com; www.outbikenewjersey.org; GLBT Bicycle club located in Northern NJ. Beginner to advanced. Road and offroad rides.

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Students, You Have Rights If you experience any problems at school, first talk to your principal or another official. If nothing happens, it’s time to take action.

HARASSMENT: If you are being harassed, or witness harassment, report it to the principal, a counselor or another official immediately, and keep notes with dates and descriptions of all incidents and when you reported them. Being silent may seem easier, but it will not end the abuse. You have the right to be yourself and safe.

PRIVACY: Teachers and other school officials do NOT have the right to “out” you to anyone without your permission or use your sexual orientation to manipulate you in any way.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH: Sometimes schools try to silence students who are open about their sexual orientation. If you go to a public school, you have a constitutional right to be out of the closet and to express your opinions.

GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCES: Gay-Straight Alliances (GSAs) are non-curricular student clubs – just like Chess Clubs or Key Clubs – that allow students with a shared interest to meet and participate in discussions and activities. According to the federal Equal Access Act, public high schools that allow students to form non-curricular clubs must also allow students to start GSAs. PROM: Public schools cannot stop you from bringing a same-sex date to prom or other school dances. Federal law protects this as freedom of expression, and you cannot be barred from prom or other school dances because of your date’s gender.

TAKE ACTION! For advocacy and legal assistance you may contact American Civil Liberties Union – LGBT Project at www.aclu.org/safeschools or call 212-5492627.

For more student and GSA resources please contact GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network at www.GLSEN.org or call 212-727-0135.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE YOURSELF!

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S T U D E N T O R G A N I Z AT I O N S HIGH SCHOOLS:

GSA in Glen Rock High School; Glen Rock, NJ; 201-445-7700; brodhead@glenrocknj.org.

GSA in Midland Park High School; Midland Park, NJ; 201-444-7400; lmcnerney@midlandparkschools.k12.nj.us; www.mpsnj.org.

GSA in Ridge High School; Basking Ridge, NJ; 07920; Debra Calie, Advisor.

GSA in Snyder High School (Academy of the Arts); Jersey City, NJ; 201320-8556; dnlll.scott@gmail.com; Gay-Straight Alliance at Snyder High School (on Facebook), Danielle Scott, Advisor.

COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITIES:

GLBT Alliance at Bergen Community College; Paramus, NJ; glbtbcc@ymail.com; Come out and share in BCC’s GLBT Awareness Week from November 7-13, 2012. Jim Bumgardner, Advisor.

Bloomfield College Gay/Non-Gay Alliance; 467 Franklin St, Bloomfield, NJ 07003; 973-748-9000; GNG_Alliance@bloomfield.edu; http://users.bloomfield.edu/clubs/gaynongayalliance; Established in 1998, the Alliance has taken on the mission of positively addressing issues affecting the effective communication and relationship between gay and non-gay persons.

The College of New Jersey: PRISM; 2000 Pennington Rd, The College of New Jersey, Ewing, NJ 08628; 609-771-2390; prism@tcnj.edu; http://prismattcnj.weebly.com; TCNJ’s only group for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered people, and heterosexuals who support the movement for equality for all, regardless of sexuality. Meetings are at 3:30pm every Wednesday in room 16 of the Student Center.

County College of Morris Pride Coalition; County College of Morris, 214 Center Grove Rd, Randolph, NJ 07869; 201-572-7713; gsa@student.ccm.edu; www.sites.google.com/a/student.ccm.edu/gaystraight-alliance; A group of students who embrace everyone for who they are and promotes acceptance of people’s differences through discussion and positive action. Our goal is to educate the public, promote tolerance of alternate life styles, and encourage ultimate acceptance of others.

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S T U D E N T O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Drew University: The Alliance; 36 Madison Ave, Madison, NJ 07940; alliance@drew.edu; www.groups.drew.edu/alliance; The Drew University Alliance is a student-run organization that works toward unifying the GLBTQ Community with off-campus communities through education and awareness.

Fairleigh Dickinson University; Madison, NJ; 973-800-8914; joan.desilets@fdu.edu; Joan Desilets, Advisor. Brian Mauro, Dean of Students.

Kean University: P.R.I.D.E. (Peers, Respect, Interaction, Diversity, Equality) (Formerly BiHG-TALK); Office of Student Life and Leadership Development, 1000 Morris Ave, Union, NJ 07083; 908-737-5170; KeanPRIDE@gmail.com; www.kean.edu/resident_clubs.html#2; PRIDE’s goal is to come together with new and improved ideas as they set out to protect and respect the pride of the gay, lesbian, transgendered, transsexual, intersexed, bisexual, questioning, and ally community.

Regular meetings during academic calendar year, scheduled at the beginning of each semester.

Montclair: Sexuality, Pride, EduCation, Truth, Respect and Unity @ Montclair State (SPECTRUMS); c/o Student Government Association, Montclair State University, 1 Normal Ave, Upper Montclair, NJ 07043; 973-655-3417; spectrums.msu@gmail.com; www.geocities.com/SPECTRUMS_MSU; A student organization dedicated to educating the community about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender issues.

New Jersey City University: LGBT and Friends Alliance; njculgbtfa@gmail.com.

New Jersey Institute of Technology: Spectrum; spectrum.njit@gmail.com.

Passaic County Community College; One College Blvd, Patterson, NJ 07505; 973-684-6652; rgetso@pccc.edu; LGBT club open to students of PCCC. Princeton University BTGALA; scowls@alumni.princeton.edu; http://tigernet.princeton.edu/~ffr-gala.

Princeton University LGBT Center; 246 First Campus Center, Princeton, NJ08544; lgbt@princeton.edu; www.princeton.edu/lgbt.

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S T U D E N T O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Princeton University Pride Alliance; The LGBT Center, 246 Frist Campus Center, Princeton, NJ 08544; pride@princeton.edu; www.princeton.edu/~pride; Founded in 1972, the Princeton Pride Alliance represents the interests of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning members of the community at Princeton University in all matters which affect and are relevant to it.

Princeton University Queer Graduate Caucus; qgc@princeton.edu; www.princeton.edu/~qgc.

Ramapo College of New Jersey―Gay Peer Services; 505 Ramapo Valley Rd, Mahwah, NJ 07430; 201-684-6209; GPS@ramapo.edu; www.queer-ramapo.org; Gay Peer Services attempts to establish a more diverse, safe environment for students, faculty, and staff at the college.

Meets Mondays at 1pm in the Women’s Center, C-220.

Raritan Valley Community College: The Alliance; 118 Lamington Rd, Branchburg, NJ 08876; Joseph Forte, jfor4643@smail.raritanval.edu; Rebecca Case, advisor, rcase@raritanval.edu; Meets only during fall and spring semesters.

Rider University Gay Straight Alliance; 2083 Lawrenceville Rd, Lawrenceville, NJ 08648; ridergsa@rider.edu; www-usr.rider.edu/~gsa; Rider GSA is an organization dedicated to bringing the campus community together on the topics of homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, transgenderism, and the intersexed. Rider GSA aims to break down sexual and gender-based stereotypes while providing a comfortable atmosphere for its members. Rider GSA also bridges connections of Rider University as well as other schools and community organizations.

Rowan University Gay-Straight Alliance; 201 Mullica Hill Rd, Glassboro, NJ 08028; 856-256-4500, x3127; www.rowan.edu/mars/clubs/gsa; An organization supporting unity between GLBT and heterosexual students.

Attention Students: GAAMC has an all-volunteer Speakers Bureau who would love to visit your school or organization.

Invite them by sending an email to SpeakersBureau@GAAMC.org

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S T U D E N T O R G A N I Z AT I O N S Rutgers University - Newark Campus: (RU Pride) Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Straight Alliance; Office: 101 Warren St, Smith Hall, Room 341, Newark, NJ 07102; rupride@pegasus.rutgers.edu; rupridenewark@gmail.com; http://lgbt.newark.rutgers.edu; RU Pride was founded in 2008 as a driving force for achieving resources, awareness, and acceptance for the Rutgers LGBT campus community and greater Newark area. Meetings every Wednesday at 2:30pm-3:50pm and every other Wednesday 8pm-9:30pm.

Rutgers University: Bisexual/Gay/Lesbian Alliance at Rutgers University (BiGLARU); Rutgers College Student Activities Center, SAC Box 91, 13 George St, New Brunswick, NJ 08901; biglaru_biglaru@yahoo.com; http://comminfo.rutgers.edu/~biglaru; Serves the GLBT community in its mission to strive for universal acceptance and equality. Founded in 1969 as the Rutgers Homophile League, the second ever collegiate GLBT organization in the United States. Meets in Murray Hall Room 211, Thursdays at 9:30pm.

William Paterson University, C.H.O.S.E.N.; 300 Pompton Rd, Wayne, NJ 07470; 551-486-2739; wpu_chosen@student.wpunj.edu; www.wix.com/chosengsa/info; C.H.O.S.E.N. Is the gay-straight alliance club at WPU.

Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) Chapters; glsen@glsen.org; www.glsen.org; GLSEN is the leading national education organization focused on ensuring safe schools for all students. GLSEN envisions a world in which every child learns to respect and accept all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. GLSEN seeks to develop school climates where difference is valued for the positive contribution it makes to creating a more vibrant and diverse community. Join your local GLSEN chapter to ensure that these issues receive local attention and help to make a difference in K-12 schools.

GLSEN―Central New Jersey; PO Box 261, Hightstown, NJ 08520; 609448-8243; cnj@njglsen.org; www.glsen.org/centralnj; GLSEN Central NJ is an accredited chapter of the national Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network working to make schools safer for all students, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

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S T U D E N T O R G A N I Z AT I O N S GLSEN―Northern New Jersey; 32 Jones St, Suite 302, Jersey City, NJ 07306; 201-963-4779; glsen_nnj@yahoo.com; NorthernNJ@chapters.glsen.org; www.glsen.org/northernnj; GLSEN Northern NJ is an accredited chapter of the national Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network working to make schools safer for all students, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.

GLBT Student Pride Network; bates@glbtstudentpride.com; www.glbtstudentpride.com; GLBT Student Pride is an online resource and community social networking site for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning students, their allies and others who are interested in GLBT issues.

T H E AT E R S & C O N C E R T H A L L S Community Theater of Morristown; 60 South St, Morristown, NJ 07960; www.mayoarts.org; Morristown’s Community Theater since 1937.

East Lynne Theater Co; 500 Hughes St, Cap May, NJ 08204; 609-8845998; eastlynneco@aol.com; www.eastlynnetheater.org.

New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus; PO Box 21, Princeton, NJ 08542; 732-5798449; info@njgmc.org; www.njgmc.org; The New Jersey Gay Men’s Chorus is a volunteer four-part men’s chorus (TTBB) drawing from communities in Central NJ and Eastern PA. The chorus has been thrilling audiences for 19 years with a repertoire as diverse as the passionate and talented men and women who comprise our singing and non-singing members. We celebrate diversity through music, which unites us all in purpose and spirit. Rehearsals are on Monday nights from 7:30 to 10:00at the Nassau Presbyterian Church in Princeton. Rehearsals run from September through early June.

New Jersey Performing Arts Center; 1 Center St, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-297-5847; www.njpac.org; As a world-class cultural complex, showcasing the best artists of national and international acclaim, NJPAC has welcomed renowned artists, cultural icons, and some of the world’s most cherished orchestral, dance, theater, and instrumental works, as well as the best performers from New Jersey’s outstanding array of artists and companies. For our upcoming events, please visit our website. See ad on page 86.

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T H E AT E R S & C O N C E R T H A L L S

PAPER MILL PLAYHOUSE 22 Brookside Drive Millburn, NJ 07041

on the campus of Drew University 36 Madison Avenue Madison, NJ 07940

Group Sales: 973-315-1680 KHenle@PaperMill.org

(973) 408-5600 BoxOffice@ShakespeareNJ.org

Lavender Night events for the LGBT Community and friends begin with a private pre-show party (hors d’oeuvres, specialty cocktails, wine, and lots of mingling) and end with a great show!

One of the leading Shakespeare theatres in the nation, we’re NJ’s only professional theatre company dedicated to Shakespeare’s canon & other classics.

Newsies: 10/2/11 White Christmas: 12/4/11 Boeing Boeing: 2/5/12 Damn Yankees: 3/25/12 Once on This Island: 6/10/12

The Misanthrope: June A Midsummer Night’s Dream: June-July Timon of Athens: July Othello: September To Kill a Mockingbird: Oct-Nov A Christmas Carol: December

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T H E AT E R S & C O N C E R T H A L L S Paper Mill Playhouse; 22 Brookside Drive, Millburn, NJ 07041; 973315-1680; Khenle@PaperMill.org; www.papermill.org; Join Paper Mill Playhouse for our Lavender Night events for the LGBT community and friends! Each event includes a private pre-show cocktail party followed by our current productions. Call the Group Sales Department for more information at 973-315-1680. See ad on page 86.

Shakespeare Theatre of New Jersey; 36 Madison Ave, Madison, NJ 07940; 973-408-5600; BoxOffice@ShakespeareNJ.org; www.shakespearenj.org; The Shakespeare Theater is one of the leading Shakespeare theaters in the nation and New Jersey’s only professional theater company dedicated to Shakespeare’s canon and other classic masterworks. Through its productions and education programs, the company strives to illuminate the universal and lasting relevance of the classics for contemporary audiences. See ad on page 86.

YO U T H African American Office of Gay Concerns; 877 Broad St, Suite 211, Newark, NJ 07102; 973-639-0700; Brother@aaogc.org; www.aaogc.org; The AAOGC serves as a resource for the GLBTI community, focusing on HIV prevention, particularly for young men of color, as well as transgender and questioning youth. Located in downtown Newark. All people are welcome, regardless of race or gender affiliation.

Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE); c/o RFNJ, PO Box 1385, Maplewood, NJ 07040; 973-763-8511; info@rainbowfamiliesnj.org; The NJ Chapter of COLAGE meets 6-10 times per year and holds fun events for Children of Lesbian and Gay Families in NJ, ages 9 and over.

COLAGE usually meets during the scheduled events of Rainbow Families of NJ, as well as at separate events. For more information on future events please e-mail us.

The Editors of Pride Guide acknowledge the generosity of Qdoggie, in granting us the use of their fun and creative gay pride inspired clip art. Please visit www.GayCliparts.com.

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YO U T H Family Acceptance Project; San Francisco State University, 3004 - 16th St, #301, San Francisco, CA 94103; fap@sfsu.edu; http://familyproject.sfsu.edu; A community research, intervention, and education initiative that studies the impact of family acceptance and rejection on the health, mental health, and well-being of LGBT young people. FAP develops materials to help ethnically diverse families support their LGBT children.

GLBT National Youth Talkline; a program of the GLBT National Help Center; 2261 Market St, PMB #296, San Francisco, CA 94114; 800-246PRIDE (800-246-7743); Youth@GLBTNationalHelpCenter.org; www.YouthTalkline.org; Offers free and confidential peer-counseling and local information for callers ages 25 and younger.

GSANI – Gay-Straight Alliance Network International (An initiative of GABLES); PO Box 641, Cape May Court House, NJ 08210; 609-861-1848; gables00@email.com; www.gsani.org; A web based initiative to unite GLBT youth around the world: A Network of GSA’s, youth groups, and individuals around the world―supplying a dynamic, productive, and concerned network of GLBT youths with information and direction on the gay world they live and thrive in.

HiTops Inc: Health Interested Teens’ Own Program on Sexuality; 21 Wiggins St, Princeton, NJ 08540; 609-683-5155 x217; corrine@hitops.org; www.hitops.org; Comprehensive community services for GLBTQ youth.

LEAGUE Foundation; One AT&T Way, Rm 4B214J, Bedminster, NJ 07921-2694; 571-354-4525; info@leaguefoundation.org; www.leaguefoundation.org; Established in 1996, the organization has grown into a national scholarship fund reaching all 50 states with support from corporations, individuals, and other GLBT organizations.

Our Youth; 133 North St, Jersey City, NJ 07307; 155 North St, Jersey City, NJ 07307; 201-839-5869; ouryouth2006@yahoo.com; www.ouryouthnj.org; A NJ licensed non-profit organization designed to help young people of ALL sexual preferences. The Our Youth Center is located in Jersey City NJ and provide service for young adults within the New Jersey / New York area. Our Youth is a place all young people can come together regardless of sexuality and be respected, loved, and understood. Our mission is to provided a safe haven to ALL youth regardless of sexual preference.

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YO U T H Project 10 East; PO Box 300328, Jamaica Plain, MA 02130; 617-864GLBT (4528); ed@project10east.org; www.project10east.org; Project 10 East creates and sustains safe space within schools by offering support to GLBT youth, their peers, educators, and families. By developing an enduring relationship with the school community, Project 10 East helps shape the skills necessary for GLGT youth to have an unobstructed path toward success both academically and personally.

The Rainbow CafĂŠ; Cresskill Congregational Church, UCC, 85 Union Ave, Cresskill, NJ07626; 201-568-0608; Info@RainbowCafe.US; www.RainbowCafe.us; Non religious-based LGBTQ youth support group that provides a safe space. Meets the second Sunday of each month at 6:00pm. Rev. David Bocock, Advisor.

Trevor Project; 9056 Santa Monica Blvd, Suite 208, West Hollywood, CA 90069; 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386); info@thetrevorproject.org; www.thetrevorproject.org; The only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention lifeline for LGBTQ youth.

Youth Drop-In; Pride Center of NJ, 85 Raritan Ave, Suite 100, Highland Park, NJ 08904-2430; 732-846-2232; info@pridecenter.org; www.pridecenter.org; This group of the Pride Center of New Jersey is a safe, friendly, fun, caring social space for LGBTIQ youth and their straight allies ages 17 and under. Meets at the PCNJ on the 2nd and 4th Saturdays from 1-4pm.

YouthResource.com, a

website by and for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender & questioning young people, take a holistic approach to sexual health and issues of concern to queer youth.

AmplifyYourVoice.org is a youth-driven online community where young people may empower themselves through education, expression and activism.

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Six Steps to Speak Up 1. Be Ready. You know another moment like this will happen, so prepare yourself for it. Think of yourself as the one who will speak up.

Promise yourself not to remain silent.

“Summon your courage, whatever it takes to get that courage, wherever that source of courage is for you,” said Dr. Marsha Houston, chair of the Communication Studies Department at the University of Alabama.

To bolster that courage, have something to say in mind before an incident happens. Open-ended questions often are a good response.

“Why do you say that?” “How did you develop that belief?”

2. Identify the Behavior. Sometimes, pointing out the behavior candidly helps someone hear what they’re really saying: “Janice, what I hear you saying is that all Mexicans are lazy” (or whatever the slur happens to be).

Or, “Janice, you’re classifying an entire ethnicity in a derogatory way. Is that what I hear you saying?”

When identifying behavior, however, avoid labeling, name-calling or the use of loaded terms. Describe the behavior; don’t label the person.

“If your goal is to communicate, loaded terms get you nowhere,” said Dr. K.E. Supriya, associate professor of communications at the University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee, and an expert in the role of gender and cultural identity in communication. “If you simply call someone a racist, a wall goes up.”

3. Appeal to Principles. If the speaker is someone you have a relationship with—a sister, friend or co-worker, for example—call on their higher principles: “Bob, I’ve always thought of you as a fair-minded person, so it shocks me when I hear you say something that sounds so bigoted.”

“Appeal to their better instincts,” Houston said. “Remember that people are complex. What they say in one moment is not necessarily an indication of everything they think.”

4. Set Limits. You cannot control another person, but you can say, “Don’t tell racist jokes in my presence anymore. If you do, I will leave.” Or, “My workspace is not a place I allow bigoted remarks to be made. I can’t control what you say outside of this space, but here I ask that you respect my wishes.” Then follow through.

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“The point is to draw a line, to say, ‘I don’t want you to use that language when I’m around,’” Bob Carolla, spokesman for the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. “Even if attitudes don’t change, by shutting off bad behavior, you are limiting its contagion. Fewer people hear it or experience it.”

5. Find an Ally/Be an Ally. When frustrated in your own campaign against everyday bigotry, seek out like-minded people and ask them to support you in whatever ways they can.

And don’t forget to return the favor: If you aren’t the first voice to speak up against everyday bigotry, be the next voice.

“Always speak up, and never be silenced out of fear,” said Shane Windmeyer, founder and coordinator of Campus PrideNet and the Lambda 10 Project. “To be an ally, we must lead by example and inspire others to do the same.”

6. Be Vigilant. Remember: Change happens slowly. People make small steps, typically, not large ones. Stay prepared, and keep speaking up.

Don’t risk silence.

“There’s a sense of personal disappointment in having not said something when you felt you should have,” said Ron Schlittler, acting executive director of the national office of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

Carolla put it this way: “If you don’t speak up, you’re surrendering part of yourself. You’re letting bigotry win.”

For more articles and other resources to combat bigotry and intolerance, please visit www.tolerance.org, a project of the Southern Poverty Law Center.

The Southern Poverty Law Center is a nonprofit civil rights organization dedicated to fighting hate and bigotry, and to seeking justice for the most vulnerable members of society. Visit www.splcenter.org for info on: • • • •

35 Free Publications Civil Rights Memorial Fighting Hate Hate Map

• • • •

Intelligence Report Seeking Justice Standing Strong Map Teaching Tolerance

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Seer Farms, Inc. is a New Jersey based non-profit organization that has a unique perspective on animals and their people and how to keep them together as a family during difficult times.

Seer Farms provides extended emergency care for animals of

families that have endured a natural disaster (hurricane, etc.) or otherwise may need long term care for pets because of health

related situations, foreclosures, domestic violence situations or other life crises.

For more information about Seer Farms mission and activities, or how you can help, please contact us at info@seerfarms.org. Or you can call us at 732-928-1804.

MUF is a Welcoming Congregation You are welcome to join us: Regular services are at 9:00am and at 11:00am.

During the Summer and on “special” Sundays, we have only one 10:00am Service.

21 Normandy Heights Rd, Morristown, NJ 07960 973-540-1177 www.muuf.org

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YO U R S O C I A L C A L E N DA R Ice Cream Social: July 4th The atmosphere will surely be hot and steamy, but the sweets are worth the sweat at our annual dairy confection binge! It’s the Monday when sundaes rule!

Labor Day BBQ & Social: September 5th

Enjoy our wieners and buns! Our Grill Meister will be flipping ’em fast and furious at our annual potluck bash.

We furnish the grillables and other supplies , you bring the desserts and side dishes.

Annual Halloween Social: October 31st

It’s downright scary how all the most fabulous ghouls and goblins know to flock to Mo’town to show off their tricks, or to pick up some treats. Dressing in the spirit is highly recommended!

GAAMC Gives Thanks: November 21st Howdy, Pilgrims! THE food event of the year just wouldn’t be complete without you. We roast the turkeys, and set the tables, but we need your best side dishes and pies to make this annual potluck a real feast.

Winter Holidays Social: December 19th Happy Christmakwanzakah! Come share your holiday traditions with your GAAMC family. We gift-wrap each year with the giant glittering bow we call our Holiday Social.

Please join us. What better gift could we hope for?

Valentine’s Social: February 13th

Cupid’s loaded his quiver, and he’s aiming for you! Celebrate the holiday of love with friends and lovers at GAAMC. We’re sure to have plenty of sweets and sweethearts at this annual dessert buffet. Wear something red and show your passion!

To sign up for any of these events, please send an e-mail to Socials@GAAMC.org.

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Advertisters’ Index $1.98 Beauty Pageant .................95 AmplifyYourVoice.org..................89 BN Counseling ............................ 39 Lorraine Cannata, Electrologist .. 76 Center for Identity Development........................... 40 Challenge ................................... 15 Ann Cutillo ................................. 41 Dignity Metro NJ & Dignity New Brunswick ........... 68 DJG Associates ........................... 77 Leslie A. Farber ........................... 32 First Presbyterian Church ........... 70 Fit-Well Personal Training .......... 59 Brenda G. Forte, MSW, LCSW .... 41 Anne Freid-Lefton ...................... 26 Gay Pride Business Network ...... 58 Gayellow Pages .......................... 63 Sue Harris, Private Tutor ............ 76 Healthy Transitions .................... 60 Russell W. Healy, MSW, LCSW .... 43 Hudson Pride Connections Center ............................... 20, 58 Institute for Personal Growth .... 42 Jersey Pride, Inc. ........................ 22 Jewelry Repair Center ................ 78 Lambda Car Club ........................ 46 Linda Leaman, Real Estate ......... 66 Diana Lunt, LCSW ....................... 43

Morristown Unitarian Fellowship................................92 NOW, Morris County .................. 51 NJ Performing Arts Center.......... 86 NJ’s Lesbian & Gay Havurah ....... 69 NJGayLife.com ............................ 61 Out IN Jersey .............................. 64 Paper Mill Playhouse ................. 86 Pride Center of New Jersey ........ 53 Michele Rabinowitz, Psy.D. ........ 43 Dr. Catherine Roland .................. 44 St. Francis of Assisi Church ......... 71 Seer Farms...................................92 Shakespeare Theatre of NJ ........ 86 Marsha N. Shapiro, ACSW, LSCW, BCD ......................................... 44 Eileen M. Shrem, Insurance........ 26 Singer & Fedun ........................... 33 Andy Skurna ............................... 76 Deborah S. Smith, MS, LCADC .... 45 Southern Poverty Law Center......91 Stein McGuire Pantages Gigl ...... 32 Suszko & Cimera ........................... 2 Switch Bar ..................... Back cover Karl L. Trappe, Ph.D. ................... 44 Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Somerset Hills ..................... 74 William L. Winston, MPA ........... 32 YouthResource.com......................89

Thank you, for your support!

$1.98 Beauty Pageant Monday, September 19, 2011 at 8pm

Join us at GAAMC for a fun evening of great performances by local talent to rival those of American Idol.

Suggested door donation: $4 for GAAMC members,$6 for non-members.

All are welcome to attend and participate in this event!

For more information e-mail Info@GAAMC.org, visit our website www.GAAMC.org, or see us Monday nights at the Morristown Unitarian Fellowship 21 Normandy Heights Road, Morristown, NJ

Advertising Rate Card Deadline is March 1, 2012 Full Page

7-1/2" x 4-3/4" wide

$550.00

Half-Page

3-1/2" x 4-3/4" wide

$330.00

Third-Page

2-1/2" x 4-3/4" wide

$220.00

Showcase Ad¹

Quarter Page

$150.00

Inside Front Cover (B&W)

8" x 5" wide

$770.00

Inside Back Cover (B&W)

8" x 5" wide

$770.00

Back Cover (Color)

8" x 5" wide

$1,100.00

Text Listing Only

3-Line Minimum

$5 Per Line²

Reuse last year’s artwork

Repeat last year’s listing

1) Showcase ads are built by GAAMC, using your logo, basic contact info (business name, address, phone, email), and a blurb taken from your listing form, which may require editing.) See Theaters & Concert Halls section for examples.

2) Non-profits and providers of free services to the LGBTI and AIDS communities are given their first 3 lines at no charge. (Usually your company/organization name, address, phone numbers, e-mail and website will take up two lines, a one-sentence description will be the third line.)

Please e-mail an electronic version of your ad to PrideGuide@GAAMC.org.

You may mail this form, along with your payment to: GAAMC, Pride Guide 2012, PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961-0137 An invoice via e-mail gives you the option to pay by credit card, direct debit from your bank account, or via check & snail mail. Please provide an e-mail address for billing here: Billing e-mail address: ______________________________________________________ How many free copies of Pride Guide 2012-2013 would you like to reserve, to distribute from your location? (Packed 40 per case.)

Would you like to participate in Pride Guide Live in October, 2012

Yes

No

Graphics: We much prefer ads be sent via e-mail if at all possible. The best file formats are OpenOffice.org and .rtf documents. If it must be a graphics file, it needs to be .eps, .gif, .jpg, .png, .psd, or .svg. Please do not send MS Publisher or .pdf files. If you send “camera ready” artwork through the mail, don’t fold, staple, paper clip, or mar the artwork in any way, or it will no longer be camera ready and it will produce a lousy scan.

Or, for an additional $45, we will typeset it for you if you send all the graphics and font specs you want us to use. Finished book is 9" x 6". All ad sizes are approximate.

Ad Request Form: Pride Guide 2012 Your Listing Information: All information you enter here will be included in your listing (unless you specify otherwise), but we need to have all information so we may contact you in case we have any questions.

Your Name: Organization: Address: City, St, Zip: Phone: Cell: E-mail: Web Site: All mental health, home improvement and real estate professionals must list their license number, or provide information as to why it is not required.

License # Write a nice blurb about your organization that will attract newcomers. Other information, hours, and services should be included:

Check One [ ] Adoption & Foster Care [ ] Animal Companions [ ] Bars & Nightclubs [ ] Computers & Tech Services [ ] Entertainment & Events [ ] Financial & Insurance Services [ ] Help & Information Lines [ ] HIV/AIDS Support & Services [ ] Legal Services [ ] Mental Health [ ] Organizations [ ] Personal Services [ ] Physical Health & Fitness [ ] Print, Radio & Online Media [ ] Real Estate Services [ ] Religion & Spirituality [ ] Retail & Other Businesses [ ] Sports & Recreation [ ] Student Organizations [ ] Theaters & Concert Halls [ ] Travel & Lodging [ ] Youth Support [ ] Other proposed category:

Listings may be ordered by mail or email, or online at GAAMC.org. See the Display Ad page for Listing Prices.

GAAMC reserves the right to refuse any ad, at its sole discretion.

Thank you, for your participation!

GAAMC Membership Application To become a member of one of NJ’s premiere LGBTI organizations, choose either a 1-year or 2-year membership term by circling the corresponding price, and completing this application.

Indicate your membership term by circling the price on this list.

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Student or Senior Couple Membership

$60

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Subscription to Challenge only

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GAAMC’s membership records are confidential Your information is NEVER sold, rented, or shared All memberships expire 364 days after receipt of your dues All mail is sent in plain envelopes for your privacy Send address changes to ChangeAddress@GAAMC.org

For GAAMC use only: Rec’d by: __________________

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Please Print All Information Name(s): _______________________________________________________ Address: _______________________________________________________ City: ___________________________ State: ________ Zip: ______________ Phone: (_______)________________________________________________ E-mail: ________________________________________________________ Are you over 18?

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Mail your application and payment to:

GAAMC PO Box 137, Convent Station, NJ 07961-0137 or E-mail: Memberships@GAAMC.org or apply online at www.GAAMC.org If you’d like to speak to someone about becoming a member, or anything else related to GAAMC, please leave a voice mail at 973-285-1595.