gambitpets
gambitpets Lockdown Lockdown
BY MADDIE SPINNER
THE ONGOING SAGA OF ESCAPE ARTISTSCRIM has gotpet parents across New Orleans on edge. While committedescape artistslikeScrim areextremelyrare, his case has dog owners, especially new or first-time rescue petparents worriedfor theirsafety, especially when it comesto traumatized rescue dogs. Luckily,Gambit reachedout to the experts, and we are here with some tips on how to secure your home foreven the craftiestofgood boys
We talked with someone with firsthand knowledge of New Orleans’canine Houdini’sescape tricks: Michelle Cheramie, owner of Zeus’Rescues.Zeus’originally took Scrim in, and it wasfromher second storywindowthat the wily pup leaptinhis second breakfor freedom.
According to Cheramie,one of the trickiest partsofadoptinga shelter dogisdealing with their traumaand helping themadjusttotheirnew, safe environment.
“The mostimportant thing forthese traumatized dogs is theyneedtofeel safe,” she says Sherecommendsa decompression spotfor some pets, where they can get adjustedtonew sounds and smells in a comfortingenvironment. From there, youcan startworking on desensitization exercisestohelp withtheir triggers. Safety and securitylooksdifferent forevery dog,Cheramie says, and finding the right waytohandle your new dog can take alot of patience.“You’ve gottowork on their timeline and provide them thethings they need to feel safe,” she says.
But what if youhaveapup who’s already trying to,orsucceeded in,escaping before you’ve gotten them acclimated to theirnew home?
JamesMillet, avet at ChalmettePet Wellness, suggestsidentifying “common denominatorsofwhen the escapes occur” when trying to determine the reason fortheir escapes.
Adog’s affinity forescaping could be related to separation anxiety,breed and upbringing,Milletsays
Withseparation anxiety,herecommends compression garmentsand
aromatherapytokeepyour pup feeling safe while you’re away.With highenergy breeds, Milletrecommends setting a routineactivity that excites them enough to keep their mind offescaping Obviously,the mostimportant and easiest fix is to secure your home. The first step is to check all your entrypoints and windows. If youliketohavewindows open, makesuretheyhavesturdy windowscreens that can withstand some potentially aggressivepawing and scratching
To ensurethat fenced yardsare secure, Cheramie suggestsfilling amilk jug or otherlarge, light weight bottle with waterand then tyingittoyour dog’s collar on alength of rope (remember to be carefully supervisingthem if youdothis to avoid anychanceofchoking or getting tangled). If your dog can find agap in your fencetheycan squeezethrough, thejug should catch against it, thus helpingyou findtheir bolt hole without letting them actually take offintothe wilds of thesemeanNew Orleansstreets. Cheramie notesthiscan alsowork fordogs whomighttry to digunder the fence. From there, youcan secure those points with chicken wirefencing “It seems funny,but it actually works,” shesays.
As alastsecuritymeasure, Cheramie suggestsa trackingdevice, suchasthe WhistleGPS collaroranAirTag. However, keep in mindthat GPS collars have limited battery lives, while AirTags need to be near
Bennythe good boygiving thedoora lilsideeye.
Chat Chat Cat
Princess Meow Meow Jawsy Jaws
Dear Pretty Pretty
Princess Meow Meow
Jawsy Jaws,
Who are these humans, and why do they keep tryna keep me out these streets? I’ve got this puparazzi Dawg RufCash following me everywhere, it’s getting harder and harder to avoid the damn doorbell cameras and I even hear the bipeds are getting tramp stamp tattoos of my face! Can’t a dog just live?
–S CR IM
My Dearest Scrim,
LIKE NEW ORLEANIANS EVERYWHERE, We have been absolutely enthralled by your antics! Despite our natural distaste for most of your kind, We can’t help but cheer you on Watching the silly bipeds wrack their tiny little brains for new and creative and utterly futile ways to trap you has been delightful. Our cousins in the rodent underworld have been particularly pleased with how you’ve turned the city into a human-sized rat maze of sorts and forced them to frantically scurry about in search of their prize. That said, We remain firmly opposed to canines having free reign. It is simply too dangerous for most of your kin. Most dogs are too dumb to avoid cooked chicken bones, which are frankly everywhere They’re too vicious and rambunctious to be trusted among free roam felines, who by birthright have domain over the streets of New Orleans.
The fact that canines have not developed inside voices makes them a noise nuisance. Plus, they poop anywhere and EVERYWHERE. Truth be told, there’s simply just an absolute lack of demureness and mindfulness in everything these maniac beasts do.
But more importantly, the humans are an ever-present menace one that even you, dearest Scrim, are ill-prepared to deal with. After all, they’ve already shot you not once but TWICE with their evil boom sticks. The Petbituaries are routinely filled with notices of cats, dogs and other four-footed creatures being ruthlessly rundown with their rolling death machines. And while the racoons and possums might not like to believe it, there are more than a few of these low-intelligence hairless beasts who will leave out
delicious treats laced with poison to lay low unsuspecting members of petdom.
As you may know, We too once lodged with the humans from Zeus’ Rescues. While We certainly wouldn’t recommend them as conversationalists, they are a credit to their otherwise backward species. They definitely won’t shoot you and are predisposed toward treating felines and dogs alike with love and kindness.
Yes, it will be difficult. Afterall, the humans are immensely difficult to communicate with, and the walls of their homes can at times feel a bit constraining. Their unnatural predilection toward regimented eating times is also frustrating But We have found that a few chewed socks and strategically placed poops can help bridge the communications gap between humans and pets. And as our scientists have shown time and again, proper communication is the key to a good working relationship with your human servant. We are confident that if you give them some time, they will prove worthy caretakers of your frisky, free-wheeling self.
Finally, a note to the bipeds who, despite all evidence to the contrary, We understand can, in fact, read. Well, at least some of them, anyway, though you wouldn’t know it based on how most of them seem to vote.
Since it’s holiday season, We would urge you to make a donation to one of the many animal rescues and shelters in and around New Orleans. The humans who operate these safe spaces are a shining example of how your otherwise feeble-minded and morally questionable species can rise above their station and do good in the world. Here is a by no means exhaustive list of some worthy shelters:
Zeus’ Rescues
2520 Napoleon Ave.; zeusrescues.org
Take Paws Rescue 2730 Banks St.; takepawsrescue.org Trampled Rose Rescue and Rehab trampledroserescue.com
Big Easy Animal Rescue 839 Spain St.; bigeasyanimalrescue.org
Louisiana SPCA
1700 Mardi Gras Blvd.; louisianaspca.org
Animal Rescue New Orleans
271 Plauche St., Jefferson; animalrescueneworleans.org
STOCKING |
$15.95from Southern Paws (633 Toulouse St., 504-5105324; shopsouthernpaws.com).
PHOTO PROV IDED BY SOU TH ERN PAWS
$8.95 from Southern Paws.
PROV IDED BY SOUTHERN PAWS
$4.99 from Petcetera.
CATAHOULA STICKER |
$3 from DirtyCoast (630 Chartres St., 504-354-1955; 1320 Magazine St., 504-766-0752; 5415 Magazine St., 504-324-3745; dirtycoast.com) PHOTO
CAFE AU LAIT
CHEW TOY |
$17.50 from Cafe Du Monde (Areawide; shop.cafedumonde.com). PHOTO PROV IDED BY CAFE DU MO NDE
LEASH |
$29.99 from PetWants (2039 Magazine St., 504-982-2779; petwantsgardendistrict.com).
SCARF |
$15.95from Southern Paws.
DREIDEL CHEW TOY |
$18.99 from Petcetera (3205Magazine St., 504-269-8711; petceteranola.com).
$16 from Little Miss Mufn (766 Harrison Ave., 504482-8200; 3307 Severn Ave., Metairie, 504-455-1444; shoplittlemissmufn.com)
SOPHIE
HOLIDAY
Main Hospital (24-hour emergency) •101 Metairie Road •504-835-4266 Kenner •4041 Williams Blvd. •504-443-4400 Lakeview •734 AllenToussaint Boulevard•504-830-4080 West Esplanade •5040 WEsplanade Ave.,Metairie•504-455-2345 Freret •4525FreretSt. •504-830-4095 Marigny •1009 ElysianFieldsAve.•504-372-2950
ARCHIE Photoby Ashley DeJean
SOPHI A Photoby
KathyMurphy
COOKIEAND STORMY PhotobyMindy Havis
TOBY PhotobyEllen and DannyHall
SH EL BY Photo by Holly McKenney LEAH AND OLIVIA PhotobyLaurenLunsford
PhotobyJack Da Via
furgambitpets loved loved -ever
Submit aPet Memorial for the Fur- ever LovedSection
Your belovedpet wasa part of thefamily.Explain howand whyina Gambit petmemorial. Share your animal’s photoand awritten remembranceinthe Fur-ever Lovedsection of in Gambit’s PetIssueand online. It’s an afordableway to acknowledge and celebratethe nonhumancompanionsinour lives
Allmemorials includea photoand your written remembrancepublished in Gambit andonline.
Contact AbigailBordelon
504.636.7427 |abigail.bordelon@gambit weekly.com
Balzac washis name(likethe French author). He favored this over Snowball (dead name)and Ole’ Stankerbags (much-deserved nickname).Joysincluded howlingbefore dawn with theroosters,snifngaroundthe garden,and purring forear-rubs. He wasgratefulfor hissafelifefullofloveand gave thanksbybeing aroyal pain in thebehindwhich earned him unconditional love and thebestKitty-care. He favoredsleeping in bags over fancycat-bedsand preferredscratchingchairsover cat-posts.Survivedbyhumans whomisshim more than they wish to admit. Kudos to BelAir PetCare(groomer) andEast Riverside(vet).Balzacwas theBestWorst CatEver!
