Kvetch and Mentsch By Rabbi Gary Schoenberg
Copyright Š Gesher 2012 All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal. First Printing: 2014
A kvetch is someone who complains.
Groan!
It’ll be okay!
Do you know what a mentsch is? A mentsch is a person does good in the world.
When a new food is served,
A kvetch says,
Ooh, that is yucky!
Even before trying it!
A mentsch says,
y t r if e K , o s e or O t ck e t l yu . t a li a t’s yum i l I’l
When there’s one toy to play with, a kvetch says,
This toy is MINE!
A mentsch says,
Let’s share it!
or “okay, you can have a turn first.”
When it’s time to clean up, I’ll help! Ohh, do I HAVE to?
When it’s time for bed,
I’m not tired!
May I have a story after I get into my pajamas?
There once was a boy named Mendel, who always complained. If it was Monday, he was sorry it wasn’t Sunday. If it was raining, he wanted the sun to come out.
And if it was sunny, he complained, “It’s too HOT! Mendel was never
happy and never satisfied. Of course Mendel didn’t only complain about the weather; Mendel complained about EVERYTHING.
Nobody really liked Mendel. In fact, behind his back sometimes, the other kids at school would call Mendel,
MENDEL, THE KVETCH.
Nobody wanted to play with “Mendel the Kvetch.” “He always complains,” they said.
In the same town, there lived a girl named Rachel. Rachel was a mentsch. On rainy days, she knew that the rain was her friend. She would go out in it and dance— and on sunny days, she swam in the river by her house.
Rachel was helpful at home. She made her bed and cleaned her room,
without complaint. In school, everyone wanted to play ball with Rachel, because she always let others have a turn. .
Of course, Rachel wasn’t ALWAYS a mentsch. How did Rachel become a mentsch, you ask? When Rachel was young, she was always getting into trouble, it seemed. No one understood her. And then, one day, Rachel’s grandmother came to live with Rachel and her family. Rachel’s grandmother was very old and wise. She was kind to Rachel.
Rachel called her, “Bubby Honey,” because she was so sweet. Bubby Honey loved Rachel. Bubby Honey baked her sugar cookies in the shape of stars. She used to hold Rachel in her lap and sit by the river and tell her stories of when she was a little girl. Whenever Rachel had a problem, they would go to the river and Bubby Honey would listen.
At night, Bubby Honey, sang Rachel songs and rubbed her back as she went to sleep.
One day, Bubby Honey gave Rachel a gift. Rachel opened it up and found a coat. Bubby Honey had made with all of the colors of the rainbow. “It’s your coat of many colors, Rachel,” Bubby Honey said and smiled.
And then one day, Bubby Honey got very sick. Bubby Honey told Rachel that she was going to die, but she wanted Rachel to know that she would always love her. Bubby Honey said, “Always try to do whatever’s right, whether in the day or in the night. Look into your heart before you speak. Make a friend—whether one is strong or one is weak.”
When Bubby Honey died, Rachel cried. She would wear her “coat of many colors,” and say her Bubby Honey’s words, over and over and felt her close by. “Always try to do whatever’s right. Whether in the day or in the night. Look into your heart before you speak. Make a friend—whether one is strong or one is weak.” And so, in remembering her Bubby Honey, Rachel became a mentsch. While Mendel was a kvetch.
Mendel and Rachel were in the same class at school. One day, Rachel wore her coat of many colors that her Bubby Honey made for her to school. She felt its warmth and it reminded her of Bubby Honey.
When Mendel saw the coat, he liked it, but he teased Rachel. “Look at that stupid colored coat…” Mendel started to laugh.
“It’s a rainbow coat! Rachel has a rainbow coat. Rachel has a rainbow coat!”
He repeated over and over. The other children laughed too, even though they kind of liked the coat. This made Rachel feel very sad inside.
When she went home from school, she sat down by the river and missed her Bubby Honey.
She looked into the river and saw the reflection of her coat of many colors. Rachel started to cry.
Suddenly, Rachel heard a voice, “Rachel, my sheineh maidele, why the tears?” Rachel recognized Bubby Honey’s voice and looked around but did not see anyone. “It’s me. Your Bubby Honey’s spirit, Rachel. Look into the river.”
When Rachel looked into the river, she saw her Bubby Honey. “Why are you crying, my child?” Rachel told her all about how Mendel had laughed at the coat of many colors she had given her. How all the kids made fun of her. “I hate Mendel, I hate him!” she started to say. “Why do think Mendel is that way? Always complaining?” Her Bubby Honey asked. “I don’t know!” Rachel cried. And then, Bubby Honey said, “Look into your heart, before you speak.” Rachel closed her eyes, and thought very hard. “Mendel complains,” she said, “because he doesn’t have any friends.” Her Bubby Honey nodded. “But he doesn’t have any friends, because he’s always complaining.” Rachel pleaded. Mendel is such a kvetch. Sometimes kids at school even call him “Mendel, the Kvetch.” And Rachel started to laugh. “Maybe he is afraid,” Bubby Honey said,
“Afraid of being hurt, of being laughed at by others, so he teases and kvetches first. You know what I think you should do? I think you should invite Mendel over to play.” “Invite Mendel over to play?!? But Mendel…” And then Bubby Honey said, “Make a friend—whether one is strong or one is weak.” And with that the spirit of her grandmother disappeared. The next day, when they went out for recess, Rachel decided to put on the coat of many colors. Mendel was sitting alone on a bench. When he saw Rachel, he teased, “Look who’s here. It’s Rachel in the Rainbow coat.” Rachel did not pay attention. She picked up a ball and threw it. “Here catch. Come on. Let’s play some.” Mendel was a little shocked. He wasn’t used to anyone playing with him. He threw the ball up high in the air so that it would be difficult to catch. But Rachel caught it with ease. She had older brothers who played with her, and she knew how to play very well. This surprised Mendel. She threw the ball right back to Mendel, straight and hard. Mendel caught the ball and threw it back even harder. Rachel caught it and then threw the ball back easier. Mendel started to complain. “You throw the ball too
easy!” Rachel said, “Mendel, Mendel, always complaining. Here try this.” She threw the ball back even harder. This time when Mendel caught the ball it hurt his hand. Mendel looked even more surprised.
Mendel and Rachel kept throwing the ball until the bell rang. Mendel started to complain about having to stop, but Rachel started to walk back to class. “Mendel,” Rachel said with some difficulty. “Would you like to come over to my house after school?” Mendel had never been invited to someone’s house. He did not know what to say. “Will you come over?” Rachel asked. “I…I guess so.” Mendel said, looking a little puzzled.
After school, Mendel went over to Rachel’s house. They went by the river and it started to rain. Mendel started to complain. “Ugh, I hate the rain!”
Rachel said, “Mendel, watch.” And she started to twirl around and around, dancing in the rain. “Try it!” She yelled. Mendel started to do the same. They danced in the rain until they got very wet. “Now try this!” Rachel said, and she jumped into a big puddle and made a huge splash. Mendel did the same. “This is really fun!” he said. They went inside to dry off and sat by the fire and drank hot chocolate. Mendel said, “Mmm… this tastes good. And look at the fire! It feels so nice and warm!” Rachel smiled. “Mendel you’re not complaining. “Now let’s play a game. I’ll be the fairy princess and you be the prince.”
After a while, Rachel said, “I have a gift for the prince.” “What is it?” Mendel said as he tore at the wrapping. He opened it and looked at the coat of many colors. Mendel looked confused. “Well, are you going to put it on?” Rachel asked. “Wow, the rainbow coat! Neat.” Mendel put on the coat and said, “It’s beautiful. I am the prince of the land of many colors. This is my royal robe!”
The next day at school, Mendel wore the coat of many colors. One of the kids yelled out, “Look Mendel is wearing the rainbow coat. Did you steal it from Rachel? Mendel the thief, Mendel the thief!” they started to yell.
Mendel began to turn red. “Oh, stop it,” Rachel said to the other children, “Leave Mendel alone. I gave the coat to him. Mendel’s my friend.” Mendel looked up and felt proud. He wore the coat all that week. After a while, Rachel began to miss not having the coat of many colors. She wanted it back, but was afraid to ask for it. Rachel and Mendel played after school by the river. It started to rain. And Mendel said, “Let’s dance in the rain!” But Rachel was quiet and sat by the river looking in. “Come on!” Mendel said. But Rachel said that she didn’t feel like it. Rachel started to cry. She missed Bubby Honey and the coat. Mendel was quiet for a while. He closed his eyes and thought very hard. “You want your coat back, don’t you?” Rachel looked into the river and nodded yes.
“It’s OK.” Mendel said, “You can have it back.” “I didn’t want to ask for it back.” Rachel said. “But Rachel, your coat reminds you of your Bubby Honey! You love your coat!”
Mendel said, “Rachel, just because you’re a mentsch, doesn’t mean that you can’t kvetch sometimes, too.” Rachel took the coat and put it on. She continued crying, but now she was crying because she was happy. “Rachel, you’re my friend,” Mendel said.
Every afternoon after school, Rachel and Mendel would go to the river and play. If was raining they would dance in the rain. And if it was sunny, they would swim in the river. In time, Mendel and Rachel became great friends. Mendel the Kvetch learned to be a mentsch. And Rachel the Mentsch learned that sometimes it’s ok to kvetch.
An optional meditation for parents to read: Source of all learning, May we encourage the mentsch in each of us. May we realize that the kvetch in each of us has needs , too. May we find ways to understand each other.
May we find ways to accept both the mentsch and the kvetch in ourselves and in others. May we always try to do whatever’s right, whether in the day or in the night.
May we look in to our hearts before we speak. May we learn to love both the strong and the weak.