H a b i t 1 1 : Encourage
Have you ever had a day in your life where you felt too encouraged, where
you received so much encouragement you had to tell people to stop encouraging you? Nope. Most people encounter a daily dose of bad news, difficulty, critique, negativity, and discouragement instead of encouragement. One of the most powerful and overlooked commands in Scripture is to “encourage one another.” When you encounter an encourager, or a group of people creating a culture of encouragement, great things can happen: wounds can be healed, courage can be stoked, identities can be strengthened, spiritual attack can lessen, new risks for the Kingdom can be taken, breakthroughs can occur, and God can be glorified. Though we must “run to the tension” with one another (see Habit #7) from time to time, the dominant and daily note of how we communicate is marked by encouragement and building one another up.
MEMORIZE
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. - 1 Thessalonians 5:11
STUDY AND DISCUSS 2 CHRONICLES 32:1-8, ROMANS 15:1-7, AND 1 THESSALONIANS
From 2 Chronicles 32: What impact did Hezekiah’s encouraging words have
on the people of Judah? How would you define encouragement from this text? From Romans 15: What conclusions can we draw from the fact that the Bible is referred to as “the encouragement of the Scriptures” and God is referred to as “the God of encouragement”? How does this text add to your definition of encouragement and how it functions for God’s people? From 1 Thessalonians 5: How does this text further sharpen what encouragement is and what encouragement does? Brainstorm as a group a 1-2 sentence definition of encouragement.
95
BECOME AN ENCOURAGER, DEVELOP A HABIT OF ENCOURAGING 3 PEOPLE EVERY DAY.
Don’t wait around for other people to encourage you, instead create a cul-
ture of encouragement in your home, church, neighborhood, workplace, etc. by encouraging others. A simple, challenging, but doable goal could be to encourage 3 people each day. The more you do this the more you’ll enjoy this, the more you’ll see God do new things, and the more you’ll be living out Jesus’ commandment to love your neighbor as yourself. Encouragement is putting lighting in someone’s veins—it’s helping someone see more of how God is at work, more of who they are, and more of their God-given potential. According to Hebrews 3:13, daily encouragement helps us fight sin. Whether offering a small comment or big dose of encouragement, you never know how God might use your words to positively change the trajectory of someone’s
MEMORIZE
day, year, or life.
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. - Hebrews 3:13
“The average human tongue is only 10 centimeters long, yet what damage can be done with the tongue!…Our words have within them the power to bring absolute death and darkness to others. But our words also have the power to bring life and light. The tongue is powerful. How will we use it?”
- Mark Hallock
BUILD PEOPLE UP PRIVATELY AND PUBLICLY. BUILD PEOPLE UP THROUGH WORD AND DEED.
Sometimes it’s most powerful to encourage privately, sometimes it’s best
to encourage and honor publicly. Use both methods. Most encouragement comes through words (spoken or written), but sometimes the best way you can encourage someone is through deed: through an act of service, through simply showing up and being present, through listening. Use both methods, word and deed, to encourage.
96
“Speech that heals is like a life-giving tree, but a perverse tongue breaks the spirit.” Proverbs 15:4
NAME ONE ANOTHER AS A WAY TO ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER.
Naming is powerful. Throughout Scripture we see new names given to people as
a significant marker in their journey. Names still function powerfully in our culture—we assign new names or nick-names to people as a way to more clearly capture who they are, what they do, and what they mean to us. As you’ve made it this far in your discipleship journey and are nearing “graduation,” you’ve come to more deeply know one another. God has put you in a position to prayerfully, thoughtfully speak a name over one another that can give great encouragement and clarity. Take time to pray and ponder over this: How do you see God uniquely at work in x’s life? What is really special about x? What name is God giving us to give to x that would be most Life-giving/encouraging/healing/transforming for them? Devote time in your Discipleship Group to speak these names over one another. You might want to save this for part of a graduation ceremony under Habit #12.
“What motivates people isn’t evaluation and critique, but affirmation and praise. The gospel gives us this. With your kids you’re better off going into the ditch of grace (let them know you crazy love them) then the ditch of anxiety and evaluation.”
Rich Plass
“And he said to him, ‘What is your name?’ And he said, ‘Jacob.’ Then he said, ‘Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.’”
Genesis 32:27-28 “Human growth requires encouragement. Homes, businesses, schools, and churches cannot reach their full potential without it.” Aubrey Johnson 97
CREATE A RULE OF LIFE.
Throughout church history many saints have benefitted from creating and
following “A Rule of Life.” A Rule of Life is a simple, intentional guide for how you can best flourish as a disciple—guardrails to uniquely guide you in loving God and loving people. From this journey you’ve received greater God awareness, greater self awareness, and great encouragement. You know yourself better, you know the key truths to believe and habits to practice that keep you centered on God and fulfilling the purpose he has for your life. A Rule of Life can be a few sentences long, or can be a page or two long. Some personalities will thrive with a very detailed Rule, others will thrive with just a sentence of two that provides overarching structure for one’s day and life, and some will fall somewhere in-between. To get started, examine Rules of Life that other people have created. You can start with chapter 10 of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality to learn more, then you might want to google “Rule of Life”. Once you’ve done some research, create a Life-giving Rule of Life for yourself, and share these together as a Discipleship Group. That process will further sharpen your Rule. View this as a constantly changing document, something you tweak 1-2x a year, or in different seasons of life, as you move along in the adventure of discipleship.
Mark Hallock
“Encouragement is more caught than taught. When you’re around encouraging people and watch them loving others and building others up, you’re drawn to it, and you catch it.”
MAIN TAKEAWAY: We’re a church of disciples who practice the habit of encouragement.
What is God saying to you?
What’s your next step?
RECOMMENDED RESOURCES FOR HABIT 11: The Barnabas Factor, Aubrey Johnson What Really Matters, Bill Wellons The Relentless Encourager, Mark Hallock & Scott Iken Practicing Affirmation, Sam Crabtree Seeing With New Eyes, David Powilson Chapter 10 of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero
98