GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine - March 2011

MARCH 2011 ISSUE 89 • FREE

magazine

The Voice of Alberta’s LGBT Community

Boy George

Oh Boy! Kung Fu Panties

Alberta’s Top 10

LGBT Figures

Remembering Beauty

Part 1 of 2

Business Directory

Community Maps

Calgary • Edmonton • Alberta

Events Calendar

Tourist Information

STARTING ON PAGE 17

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GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

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Table of Contents

MARCH 2011

Photography

Steve Polyak, Rob Diaz-Marino, B&J, Dallas Barnes, Rob Brown

Videography

Steve Polyak, Rob Diaz-Marino

Printers

North Hill News/Central Web

Distribution

Calgary: Gallant Distribution GayCalgary Staff Edmonton: Clark’s Distribution Other: Canada Post

Legal Council

Courtney Aarbo, Barristers and Solicitors

Sales & General Inquiries

GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine 2136 17th Avenue SW Calgary, AB, Canada T2T 0G3

Office Hours: By appointment ONLY Phone: 403-543-6960 Toll Free: 1-888-543-6960 Fax: 403-703-0685 E-Mail: magazine@gaycalgary.com This Month's Cover Boy George (Photo courtesy of The Musebox), Kung Fu Panties (Photo by Trudie Lee), Alberta Ballet Company Artists Galien Johnson and Sandrine Cassini in Serenade (Photo by Charles Hope)

Proud Members of:

Edmonton Rainbow Business Association

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Marsha Ambrosius: ‘Hate is Hate’

Publisher’s Column

Now solo, former Floetry singer targets homophobia with first single

10 Getting into Rebecca’s Panties Kung Fu Panties brings the action movie to life on stage

14 Remembering Beauty

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Mercedes Allen, Chris Azzopardi, Dave Brousseau, Jason Clevett, Andrew Collins, Rob Diaz-Marino, Janine Eva Trotta, Jack Fertig, Glen Hanson, Joan Hilty, Evan Kayne, Stephen Lock, Allan Neuwirth, Steve Polyak, Carey Rutherford, Romeo San Vicente, Ed Sikov, Nick Vivian and the LGBT Community of Calgary, Edmonton, and Alberta.

The “Banana Cat”

Director Jean Grand-Maître pairs a night of ballet to soothe the Alberta soul

17 Directory and Events 24 Skating Out of The Closet: Is The NHL Ready?

26 Atheism, Sex and Sexuality 27 Q Scopes

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Writers and Contributors

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“Indulge, Libra!”

28 Deep Inside Hollywood Lee Daniels eyes Bradley Cooper

29 Cocktail Chatter

I Get What I Deserve: The Hot Toddy and Heads in the Clouds: The Aviation

30 Fundraising Photos 34 Road-Tripping Across Spain Out of Town

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Publisher: Steve Polyak Editor: Rob Diaz-Marino Sales: Steve Polyak Design & Layout: Rob Diaz-Marino, Steve Polyak

36 Alberta’s Top Ten LGBT Figures Part One

40 The Quest to Pee III International Gay & Lesbian Travel Association

42 Coming Out Monologues

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Queer students share their experiences

National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association

Continued on Next Page  www.gaycalgary.com

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

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Table of Contents  Continued From Previous Page

42 Letters to the Editor

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43 A Couple of Guys 44 Bitter Girl 45 Jeff Martin

Tea Party singer returns with new album and band

47 Queeries

“Desperately Seeking Sex Online”

48 Classified Ads

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50 Chelsea Boys

51 Oh Boy!

’80s pop icon on getting clean, having a kid and why he’s an “alien”

54 SmartSilk

Hypoallergenic Bedding

55 Queer Eye

Magazine Figures Monthly Print Quantity:

9,000–11,000 copies Guaranteed Circulation: 8,500 copies Bonus Circulation: 500–2,500 copies

Readership

Readers Per Copy: 4.9 (PMB) Print Readership: >41,650 Avg. Online Circulation: 150,000 readers Estimated Total Readership: >191,650 readers Frequency: Monthly

Proof of monthly figures are available on request.

Distribution Locations:

Calgary: 160, Edmonton: 120 Other Alberta Cities: 15 Other Provinces: 35 United States: 15 Please call us if your establishment would like to become a distribution location.

History Originally established in January 1992 as Men for Men BBS by MFM Communications. Name changed to GayCalgary.com in 1998. Independent company as of January 2004. First edition of GayCalgary.com Magazine published November 2003. Name adjusted in November 2006 to GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine.

Disclaimer and Copyright Opinions expressed in this magazine are specific to the author, and do not necessarily reflect those of GayCalgary staff and contributors.

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Those involved in the making of this publication, whether advertisers, contributors, or the subjects of articles or photographs, are not necessarily gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trans. This magazine also includes straight allies and those who are gay friendly.

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Editorial

The “Banana Cat” Publisher’s Column

By Rob Diaz-Marino, MSc. Back in August 2010 I wrote about the ordeal that we went through with our cat Snoopy and his close call with life threatening bladder stones. I would love to say that was the end of the story and that Snoopy lived happily ever after, but unfortunately our little “snooper trooper” had to ensure some more problems after that. I didn’t want to write about these latest developments until we reached some degree of stability.

After his bladder stones were removed, we had a few happy months of reprieve where everything seemed like it was back to normal. He recovered nicely and had just finished growing back all the fur on his tummy that they needed to shave off for the operation. However in October I began to notice that Snoopy was feeling slimmer than usual. I didn’t think anything of it.

As we were approaching our print deadline for the November edition, Steve was in the kitchen as Snoopy was getting excited peering through the window at some birds eating from the feeder outside. The birds took off, and as he hopped down from his vantage point he abruptly sat down in a very strange position, as if he had hurt himself. He got up and walked a few feet out into the living room before he collapsed onto his side. Steve picked him up to make sure he was alright and he seemed to be unconscious, but within seconds made a guttural growling sound as he woke up again. He seemed fine afterward, so naively we thought he might have hurt his back leg when he jumped down, and possibly passed out from the pain.

Nevertheless it was very strange, so we kept a close eye on him over the next 24 hours. He did seem to be developing something of a limp to his walk, but it was more than that.

Soon it seemed like his whole body was drooping; though he was still able to move around, he couldn’t even lift his head to look up at us – he could only turn it sideways awkwardly. We decided it was time to bring him to the vet, and so we put out some treats to distract the other cats who were circling us as we were trying to hurry things together. Surprisingly, Snoopy growled at the other two cats so that he could have all of the treats to himself – he normally wouldn’t touch this brand.

The vet had far worse news for us than a sprained leg.

Snoopy was experiencing kidney failure, and his blood values showed a severe concentration of sodium, urea and creatine, with a low red blood cell count and a deficiency in potassium that explained his muscular problems. At these levels, the vets only gave him a few days to live. He had lost a great deal of weight and was down to only 3.2kg. We made the decision

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to leave Snoopy overnight so that they could try to stabilize him by flushing his system, with the hopes that this would help prolong his life a little while longer. I don’t know how I managed to make the drive home, but once there Steve and I broke down completely. It was crushing.

An ultrasound revealed that Snoopy had two deformed kidneys that were damaged even further by the kidney stones lodged inside. We had been informed prior, that the occurrence of bladder stones also likely meant kidney stones were present, but are typically inoperable – or at least, not operable locally.

After the first day at the vet Snoopy began to show some improvement, so we kept him there longer and visited with him every evening. After 3 days his progress levelled off with his kidney values still at dangerous levels. So at this point, with no other reasonable options available to us, we made the decision to bring him home with us so that he could spend however much time he had left in the place he was most comfortable.

We even made plans to put up the Christmas tree and celebrate early for him.

Steve was insistent on doing everything we could to take the strain off Snoopy’s kidneys, and so we went home with special soft cat food and equipment to inject fluids, both to help keep Snoopy well hydrated. I booked 2 days off work so that I could spend time with Snoopy, but sadly for the first day our attention was divided because of the imminent press deadline for the November edition. However, we set up a blanket on my desk where Snoopy could sit, along with his food and water, so that I could keep a close eye on him while I was working. Just having him home was a huge weight off our shoulders.

We interacted with Snoopy a lot as we worked through the night, pushing him to eat and drink and giving him lots of hugs and kisses. He seemed just as happy to be home - very perky and alert, and affectionate to the extreme (even though he still had to turn his head sideways to look at us). Steve got an idea and did some research on the internet to confirm that bananas are not harmful to cats, and so he began mixing some in with Snoopy’s soft food to try and boost his potassium levels. In one night, he seemed to be getting stronger, but we didn’t get our hopes up.

The next day we had to do Snoopy’s subcutaneous (beneath the skin) fluid injection ourselves for the first time. The vet had sent us home with an IV bag of special fluids, and the somewhat large needles used to inject them into the patch of loose skin between his shoulder blades. We set up in our bathroom so that the IV bag hung from our shower curtain rail,

Continued 

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 Editorial Contd. and I perched on the toilet to hold Snoopy while Steve did the injection. Almost predictably, I passed out, and Steve ended up holding both Snoopy and myself in place until the full dosage of fluids percolated inward. These injections leave Snoopy with a large “camel hump” of water on his back that, due to gravity, seems to slowly shift around his body and settle as what we affectionately referred to as “bitch tits” at the front, prior to his body absorbing it.

Snoopy continued to get stronger day by day. By the end of the week he was able to lift his head again. His energy started coming back to him, which he happily demonstrated for us by dashing around the house and playing with his toys. After we ran through his first IV bag and had to return to the vet for more, we brought him in with us so that they could re-check his kidney values. The vets were completely shocked at the night and day difference from his last visit, just in his appearance.

His kidney values had come back down to reasonable levels, though granted still a little higher than ideal. He had started gaining weight back, and Steve happily shared our “secret” about putting banana in his food. As we continued to bring him in regularly to check on his progress, Snoopy became something of a legend amongst the ladies who worked at that clinic. He was already known for his affectionate personality from his past overnight stays, however they now referred to him as the “miracle cat” or the “banana cat”.

Today, Snoopy has returned to his previous weight of 5kg and is back to being super playful, energetic, and affectionate such that one can’t even tell that he is sick. His kidney problems are an ongoing condition that we have to maintain, so we continue to keep him on his special diet (infused with banana) and give him his injections 2 times a week (thankfully we were able to reduce the frequency down from every day, because he can really put up a fight now that he has his strength back).

Having such a close call really put things into perspective.

We truly feel like we’ve been given a second chance. Steve and I know his time with us is still limited, and so we have some simple plans to make the most of this. First of all, we spoil him with attention even more – he absolutely eats it up, and continues to find new ways of returning his affection for us.

Still being with us for Christmas, of course we got him some new toys that he has really been enjoying. But finally, when the weather gets warm again, I have plans to properly fence our front yard so that he and the other cats can enjoy the outdoors over the summer (more than just on a balcony), without the worry of there being nothing between them and the traffic on 17th Avenue. It’s actually something that I promised them when we moved from our 4th floor rental condo into our own house, and now I have good reason not to delay any further.

It has been one of those much broader life lessons that is often difficult to learn, except in hindsight. We’ve learned it due to this experience and this rare blessing of time. Doing something simple right now to benefit the happiness of our loved ones is better, and indeed more appreciable, than anything we can do for them after they’re gone.

Stop the Presses!

During our monthly press cycle, usually after we submit the files to our printers, the intense stress levels we go through drop off to something more manageable for the remainder of our tasks. When things go smoothly, we post the online edition and then stop by our printers in a day or two to pick up our reserves for restocking and bonus distribution.

However, last month did not go so smoothly. When I got the load of magazines home on Friday and opened up a stack for our office copies, we immediately noticed that our colour pages weren’t on the same quality of glossy paper that we are usually printed on – it seemed like something thinner and much more matte. As we checked through the other bundles, we found some where the ink appeared so faded that the black areas on our cover appeared as a slate gray. We headed right back to the printers to talk to them about this and check the ones that were going to our distributors. Unfortunately, as we discovered, the faded copies were the most prevalent.

The press manager verified that we had been printed on the wrong paper stock, and agreed that the quality of the ink was unacceptable. Since this was their mistake, they agreed to eat the cost of reprinting us, however due to the size of the other jobs that were running on their presses, this could not be done until the following Monday.

This was a dilemma, since some of our bar advertisers had placed ads for things happening the next weekend, and we wanted to ensure copies were available for the current weekend to get them proper exposure.

So despite the printers frowning on us taking away copies of the magazines we were refusing, we dug through until we found enough of the less-faded copies to put out at our critical locations. This meant that at least we would be on the shelves over the weekend, and we explained to these locations what was going on as we put out the temporary copies.

Over the weekend we decided it would be worthwhile to sneak in some last minute changes to the magazine, and once we got the new copies Monday night we replaced what was remaining on the shelves at our critical locations with these fixed copies.

Continued on Page 46 

Online Last Month Be Mine

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Interview

Marsha Ambrosius, photos by Glynis Selina Arban 

Marsha Ambrosius: ‘Hate is Hate’

Now solo, former Floetry singer targets homophobia with first single

By Chris Azzopardi Marsha Ambrosius isn’t going to tell you that it gets better. Her video, “Far Away,” is an all-too-real take on gay bullying and suicide that’s inspired by her friend’s attempt at taking his own life. The song is also the lead single from the English singer’s very personal Late Nights & Early Mornings, her first solo album after parting ways with R&B duo Floetry.

We caught up with Ambrosius, who opened up about the inspiration behind the bold video, how people are reacting to it and why it’s breaking color barriers, too.

GC&E: Why is the issue of gay suicide so close to your heart?

MA: I’d gone through a situation with a friend of mine who was battling issues with his sexuality, and not being accepted and the feeling that there’s no other way out than to take your own life. To try to deal with someone who’s in such a dark place, it was very disheartening for me – the bestie that’s all smiles, ensuring that the world will be OK. But when you’re not living that life for them, there’s nothing you can do. So it was only right that when the song was chosen for the single that I did a video to go exactly with what I was feeling emotionally.

GC&E: Did he commit suicide?

MA: No, definitely attempted – and not once, but a few times.

Thankfully, he’s still here, but there have been many stories in the press as of late of people taking their own lives because of the same circumstance and I just felt like it was only right to get that story to the demographic that listens to my music.

GC&E: Do you think you’re reaching people that aren’t aware of these issues?

MA: Definitely. For me, it was important for those voices that don’t get the opportunity to speak to be heard loud and clear.

GC&E: Comments on YouTube and on blogs range from Biblical references condemning homosexuality to ones that saying this video saved their life. How do you feel about the buzz surrounding the video?

MA: It’s so overwhelming. It was never my intention to cause a stir, but I wanted to get a reaction and I’m thankful that it’s opened a line of communication to people who wouldn’t speak to each other at one point. Whether it was a fight against what’s right or wrong or what’s love and what’s hate, people are speaking and I’m changing minds.

All I want for people to see with this video is that hate is hate no matter who you are. When you can’t be accepted for who you

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are in this world, that’s all you have. It’s getting people talking and disagreeing – or agreeing – so I’m thankful for that. On YouTube, there will be like 150,000 “likes” and maybe 100 “dislikes,” so, you know, majority rules. (Laughs) I’ll take that, but for the ones who are still opposed, I say genuinely grasp onto what is being said and what is being taught here.

GC&E: Someone tweeted you and called the video “fag shit.” How do you respond to comments like that?

MA: I’ve said, “If that’s what you took from this video, so be it,” and just ended it there. I wanted the video to get a reaction, and it is.

GC&E: It’s rare to see black gay men portrayed in such a loving, open way as they are in the video. Do you think there’s a race divide when it comes to gay people in the media? Did you consider that when you cast the video for “Far Away”?

MA: Initially, it wasn’t on my mind. It was just how I portrayed my scenario as if those were my friends, and I wasn’t thinking of it as breaking color barriers, too. I think for two openly gay males – black males at that – to be shown in the light that they were was a very surreal moment for many.

A point in making the video was to make the mark that they were happy and in love and open to loving one another in front of whomever, and to establish their relationship outside of what the world thought; they thought the world of each other. (Director) Julius (Erving III) did a fantastic job putting together a video that showed the story in its true art form.

GC&E: And you didn’t go with the down-low approach, like R. Kelly did with “Trapped in the Closet,” which seems like a common portrayal of black gay men.

MA: Right – and I even saw some comments like, “What is this with gays on the down low?” There’s nothing down low about this. This is broad daylight in New Jersey, somewhere in the sunshine, looking into each other’s eyes lovingly. This is an open relationship for two people that are in love.

GC&E: How did it feel making this album solo versus as part of a duo?

MA: It’s a weight off my shoulders to not have to make room for another opinion. This is everything that I feel and I think and I want to be as an artist. It’s who I am, and I’m just ready to give away my heart.

I’ve always been a solo artist; even in Floetry, we were two solo artists who came together to be something that worked very well together creatively. And you know, three albums in, Natalie (Stewart)

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went solo. Same thing with me: I wanted to produce and to write for many other people, and I think now that I have the opportunity to do my solo record, I’m ready now for me – and it’s been a journey because I get to learn what I want to say and what I don’t want to say and things in music that I’ve never explored before, because I never had to be 100 percent. I could lean on someone. Now I can only lean on me, and I have to do all the work. (Laughs) GC&E: You say that going solo freed you. Do you think you could’ve been so bold in your approach to the “Far Away” video if you were still part of Floetry?

MA: I’m not sure. I couldn’t even really answer that. I think it would’ve been a difficult subject to approach in a group because you might have two conflicting opinions and there would be too many ways to show how either of us felt about it, so I’m glad that I got to execute it from my perspective in a straightforward, black-and-white approach.

GC&E: Why all the heartbreak on the album?

MA: There’s really not much heartbreak on the album. I guess there are three songs conceptually that could be heartache records: “Far Away,” “Hope She Cheats on You (With a Basketball Player),” which was written for a friend who went through a bad break-up, and “The Break-Up Song.” The rest of them are just about having great sex: great make-up sex, great break-up sex. (Laughs) GC&E: Is this based on your own personal experiences?

MA: Oh, most definitely. With the title, Late Nights & Early Mornings, it’s how I lived life. It was just late nights in the studios, maybe at a show, waking up the next day to go travel and perform somewhere, wherever. And it’s a continual cycle. Even in a relationship, as sensual and seductive as it gets, you want that late, hot and steamy night with the one that you want to be with – and then wake up to a nice early-morning breakfast.

GC&E: What was breakfast you had?

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the

best

MA: Belgian waffles, whipped cream, powdered sugar, a cup of hot cocoa, a side of fresh fruit – and him, with his 6-foot-3 chocolate self.

(Laughs) GC&E: You don’t hold back on “Hope She Cheats on You,” and it’s written almost like the way a man would write a break-up song.

MA: Exactly – because I think there are certain things that women want to say but don’t for fear of that neck-rolling, finger-snapping, attitude-having version of ourselves that no one is seeing anymore. So I just wanted a fun record where I could stand there, suck my teeth and be like, “Yeah. What?”

That’s just me. My approach to writing is to never hold back regardless of the circumstance. I can’t hide behind my music. If you really want to get to know me, listen to my music.

GC&E: Are you that forward in everyday life?

MA: Oh, I have to be. I’m a Leo. (Laughs) GC&E: Based on a line from the song (“Hope that she Kim Kardashian-ed her way up”), I take it you’re not friends with Kim Kardashian?

MA: I don’t even know her, but she is such a sweetheart. On the record I’m actually giving her a compliment, and how I got that line together was, yeah, I may have just known her from a sex tape that she did with an R&B singer at one point, but she turned that around and made herself a million-dollar mogul and a marketing machine.

I’m not gonna say that an R&B singer is going to release a sex tape of him and I tomorrow, but it’s not to say I haven’t sent a sexy text message that someone could just then say, “Oh, I’ve got Marsha’s tits!”

GC&E: But there’s no sex tape with a 6-foot-3 chocolate lover?

MA: Who knows!

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early-morning

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and seeing what happened,” Northan explained. “That was the intention of the 10 minute play, I wanted to do something with Chantal and Julie because I love those chicks and think they kick ass, so let’s do a piece where we kick ass. It went from there. They were in it from the beginning so it was helpful to know I was writing for those two girls, for specific people in my mind, which made it a lot easier because I could imagine their voices.”

Northan chatted with GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine on a break from rehearsals. She admitted she was surprised when Luhning asked her to write the script. Though she created Blind Date, it was an improvised show, so writing a set script was a new challenge.

“Ryan came to me in the dressing room after the festival and said, I think I want to comission the full length, and I said, Oh shut up. He took me for lunch a few days later and said, I am serious, I am comissioning this.

I thought, Oh God... I have to write a play! I have written in the past collaboratively through an improvised process. Other than assignments in school, this is the first time I have sat down at a computer by myself and gone, what will the next person say?”

Kung Fu Panties (KFP) is a perfect fit for Ground Zero Theatre/Hit & Myth Productions, the same company that brought shows like Urinetown, My First Time, Speed The Plow and Evil Dead: The Musical to Calgary.

On a personal level, there is a lot of history between Northan and those involved in KFP. “The first production meeting, I looked around the table and said, probably 85% of the people sitting around the table are my alumni at the University of Calgary. 15 years later we are still working together, here we are. That’s pretty cool. It makes me feel like a veteran of some artistic war.

We all started in University with hopes and dreams, and wanting to make your life in the arts, [not knowing] how hard it is going to be. 15 years later to be with Ryan Luhning, who I hung out with, and some of the production guys, feels pretty amazing.”

Marketed as a live action movie, complete with car chases and fight sequences, the show has a lot of depth and heart behind the action.

“It starts with the kind of comedy I like, which is truthful comedy. At the nugget of the ridiculousness of Kung Fu Panties is a love story, because I think everything stems from that. There is a love story, there is a strong friendship that has undergone a betrayal, and forgiveness and healing comes about. In training at Loose Moose I was always taught that an evening of theatre, you don’t want soup followed by soup followed by soup because you are unsatisfied at the end of the night.

There is some soup in this, and cotton candy, but also a main course, a strong through-line that the comedy and action can sit on top of.”

As one can imagine, it has been a hectic and intense rehearsal process.

“It is the most overwhelming and exciting, inspiring rehearsal process I have ever been in. We are all bruised but happily bruised. It feels like we are rehearsing at least three shows at the same time because the fights are very involved and a huge component of the show. So we spend half of the day working on fights, the other half working on the script and then thrown in there occasionally is some choreography because there are dance scenes as well. There is a lot of giggling and jumping up and down. If we can pull this off it will be the most fun any of us have ever had in the theatre.”

Getting into Rebecca’s Panties Kung Fu Panties brings the action movie to life on stage

By Jason Clevett If only the packed Martha Cohen Theatre realized what they were witnessing. In January 2010 during the High Performance Rodeo’s 10 Minute Play Festival, Rebecca Northan, Julie Orton and Chantal Perron walked onstage and created history.

The short piece in which three girls, armed with only charm and lingerie, tried to prevent the assassination of a diplomat. They left the audience both in awe and in stitches. After the show I told Rebecca how much I loved the performance and thought it should be a full length piece. I got home and e-mailed Ground Zero Theatre’s Ryan Luhning and told him the exact same thing. I wasn’t the only one, and now 15 months later Kung Fu Panties kicks down the door of The Studio at Vertigo Theatre, March 18th to April 3rd.

“For me part of it is this theory I have that if you do what you love with the people you love, something is created that draws interest. My buddies made the film Fubar and it came out of doing something fun for the summer

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This is an impressive statement considering how many of the cast and crew worked Evil Dead: The Musical, which was also ridiculously fun.

Northan agrees this is the case.

“When we rehearsed [Evil Dead] we were doing a tried and true product.

We could relax a little bit because other people had done it and worked out the kinks and we could just have fun with it. This is the beginning of the creation process. If Kung Fu Panties has a longer life, it will change a lot and it is exciting to be at the front end of it, making stuff up as we go. The script is changing as we are in rehearsals depending on who is in the room and the challenges that come up. It is great I am the writer and an improviser because things come up, like someone is injured and can’t do something anymore. No problem, I will write in the injury and we will just deal with it.”

Kung Fu Panties is going to be fun. Personally I haven’t been this excited for a show in awhile. Having seen the 10 minute version, I have expectations for a spectacular night.

“If we accomplish what we have set out to accomplish, which is huge and audacious and extremely ambitious, I think it will be the most fun that you have had in the theatre. I don’t know how else to describe it.”

She jokes, “At the end of the day I hope it is so fun and sexy and ridiculous that if you are gay you will leave straight, if you are straight you will leave gay, and if you are bi you will be so happy.”

Kung Fu Panties Presented by Ground Zero Theatre + Hit & Myth Productions www.groundzerotheatre.ca Shows March 18th - April 3rd The Studio at Vertigo Theatre http://www.gaycalgary.com/a2100

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GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

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Remembering Beauty

Director Jean Grand-Maître pairs a night of ballet to soothe the Alberta soul  Photo by Charles Hope

By Janine Eva Trotta Imagine the privileged life of someone who befriends Stravinsky and works alongside Matisse. Director, conductor and great musician George Balanchine lived exactly those days. Raised in St. Petersburg under the tutelage of the Russian and European greats, Balanchine created 400 ballets in his time and was hailed as prolific in New York.

Serenade was the first of these he choreographed in North America, in 1934, as homage to his most beloved composer, the ‘noble’ Tchaikovsky.

“That ballet is a masterpiece of the 21st Century,” says Alberta Ballet Artistic Director Jean Grand-Maître. “We’re not sure if there is a story [in Serenade] or not… It’s funny though, because when that ballet ends, I have never seen an audience so silent and quiet.”

To sum it up, “there’s something about that ballet that makes the audience come together.”

That is why Grand-Maître selected Serenade to begin a night intended to be something “very spiritual.”

“I programmed the evening to be something soothing, pure, beautiful,” he extols; something in direct contrast to the current goings on of the world, which is “sometimes what we need.”

Serenade is an abstract ballet, that Grand-Maître describes as looking “like a Monet painting in motion.”

14

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

Following this piece, on the evenings of March 24th to 26th in Calgary, and April 1st and 2nd in Edmonton, will be Grand-Maître’s own masterpiece: Vigil of Angels.

Originally created and commissioned in 1995 for La Scala opera house in Milan, one of the three most major opera theatres in the world, Grand-Maître says of its inception, “It was something amazing, like a Cinderella coming true.”

The Gatineau, Quebec born director created Vigil over three months of falling in love with the Italian city and the ballet in his vision.

“I created this ballet coinciding with the same time many friends were dying of AIDS, especially in the dance world,” Grand-Maître says. “It was a peculiar state of mind I was in. I was dealing with death at a very young age.”

“What we went through at this time, I don’t think we even stopped to think about it...[Vigil of Angels] was created in homage to the people going through such terrified times.”

Vigil aims to “look at death in not such a dark way.”

“I imagine death as a little girl taking you by the hand,” GrandMaître says. “This whole ballet is really a look on life and death.”

This will be the fourth remount of the work. La Scala took Vigil on tour in 2000, but this showing will reflect the latest in its revisions. “Every remount refines and re-choreographs,” GrandMaître explains. “As I get older, I think it’s getting more and more peaceful.” www.gaycalgary.com

 Photo by Ivan KaraBabliev

The director names this ballet as his most personal. “It’s the ballet that will follow me through my life,” he says. “It’s as though I wrote a story and every time someone read it, they were looking deep inside.”

Vigil of Angels is the story of a cellist whose true love dies very young for reasons unexplained. Her refusal to accept this death propels her own life eternal, a life dedicated to profound music.

When the angels hear her play they fly down to find her and hear her story. They restore her youth and see the love she had, and teach her some Buddhist lessons to appease her troubled self. At the time of writing, Grand-Maître was also taking in some Buddhist teachings. “[Vigil is] about how beauty and truth are really the balm of our lives,” the director says. “Beauty is something so special.”

Grand-Maître’s life was not so far off from his predecessor George Balanchine. Born in a small town, the future director was not exposed to dance and ballet until his teens. “When I discovered ballet and dance that was what I wanted to do.”

Grand-Maître trained in Montreal for six years before becoming professional at the age of 21. His dance career lasted just short of a decade before he merged into choreography – the creation of the dance.

The new choreographer spent ten years creating ballets in Europe, working in Paris, Milan, Oslo, Stuttgart, Munich and Rome.

“It was a career that took some time to take off, but once it took off it went very quickly,” he says.

In 2000, Grand-Maître took a sabbatical that saw his return to Quebec, where studios are offered for six-month durations to artists, designers, composers, choreographers and the like to replenish, re-inspire and get new ideas amid fresh surroundings.

Following this move, Grand-Maître saw the position for artistic director at the Alberta Ballet open, and decided to move on the opportunity that would take his career to the next level.

Now is the chance for Vigil to showcase on that next level too.

“I’m hoping that every time I do it there’s a little more wisdom that goes into it,” Grand-Maître says. “Love is probably the solution to most of our problems, we just don’t want to admit it.”

Vigil of Angels Calgary: March 24th - 26th Edmonton: April 1st - 2nd http://www.gaycalgary.com/a2101

View Bonus Pics/Videos • Share with a Friend • Post Comments www.gaycalgary.com

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

15

Directory & Events 24

DOWNTOWN CALGARY

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Calgary Outlink---------- Community Groups Aids Calgary------------- Community Groups Backlot------------------------ Bars and Clubs Calgary Eagle Inc.------------ Bars and Clubs Texas Lounge----------------- Bars and Clubs Goliath’s-------------------------- Bathhouses

9 FAB---------------------------- Bars and Clubs 13 Westways Guest House---- Accommodations 16 Priape Calgary------------------ Retail Stores 24 Courtney Aarbo----------------------- Services 33 Twisted Element-------------- Bars and Clubs 34 Vertigo Mystery Theatre------------- Theatre

35 36 37 41 43 55

FIND OUT!

CALGARY

LGBT Community Directory GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine is the go-to source for information about Alberta LGBT businesses and community groups—the most extensive and accurate resource of its kind! This print supplement contains a subset of active community groups and venues, with premium business listings of paid advertisers.

✰....... Find our Magazine Here

One Yellow Rabbit-------------------- Theatre ATP, Alberta Theatre Projects-------- Theatre Pumphouse Theatre----------------- Theatre La Fleur-------------------------- Retail Stores Lisa Heinricks----------Theatre and Fine Arts Marquee Room--------------- Bars and Clubs

......... Wheelchair Accessible

Spot something inaccurate or outdated? Want your business or organization listed? We welcome you to contact us!

 403-543-6960  1-888-543-6960

 magazine@gaycalgary.com http://www.gaycalgary.com/CalgaryTravelRss http://www.gaycalgary.com/EdmontonTravelRss

Local Bars, Restaurants, and Accommodations info on the go! http://www.gaycalgary.com/Directory

Accommodations 13 Westways Guest House--------------------✰

 216 - 25th Avenue SW  403-229-1758  1-866-846-7038  westways@shaw.ca  www.gaywestways.com

Bars & Clubs 3 Backlot----------------------------------- ✰  403-265-5211  Open 7 days a week, 4pm-close

 209 - 10th Ave SW

4 Calgary Eagle Inc.----------------------- ✰  424a - 8th Ave SE  403-263-5847

 http://www.calgaryeagle.com  Open Wed-Sun, 5pm-close Leather/Denim/Fetish bar.

Club Paradiso

 1413 - 9th Ave SE, upstairs  403-265-5739  www.villagecantina.ca Carly’s Angels on Sat. Billy Schmidt’s “Sounds of Sinatra” on Fri. and varied entertainment on Thurs. Please call for details.

58 59 60 61 62

Theatre Junction--------------------- Theatre Village Bistro & Lounge----------Restaurant Club Sapien------------------- Bars and Clubs Holidays on the Hill------------- Retail Stores Concept Bar & Lounge------- Bars and Clubs

60 Club Sapien------------------------------ ✰  1140 10th Ave SW  403-457-4464  http://www.clubsapien.ca Dance club & restaurant.

60 Concept Bar & Lounge---------------------✰  908 17th Ave SW  403-228-1006  www.facebook.com/ConceptLounge Premiere crossover lounge. Entrance on 16th Ave. 55 Marquee Room-----------------------------✰

 612 - 8th Avenue SW  www.marqueeroom.com

Alternative night every Wednesday.

9 FAB (formerly Money Pennies)--------- ✰

 1742 - 10th Ave SW  403-263-7411  www.fab-bar.com  Closed Mondays.

Bar and restaurant.

5 Texas Lounge-------------------------------✰

 308 - 17 Ave SW  403-229-0911  www.goliaths.ca  Open 7 days a week, 11am-close 33 Twisted Element----------------------------✰

 1006 - 11th Ave SW  403-802-0230

 www.twistedelement.ca

Dance Club and Lounge.

Browse our complete directory of over 570 gay-frieindly listings! www.gaycalgary.com

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

17

Directory & Events Calgary Events Mondays

ASK Meet and Greet----------------  7-9:30pm

 Bonasera (1204 Edmonton Tr. NE) Inside Out Youth Group----------------  7-9pm See 1 Calgary Outlink Yoga (A)-----------------------------  6-7:30pm See Apollo Calgary Sep27Dec6 Yoga (B)-------------------------  7:45-9:15pm Sep27Dec6 See Apollo Calgary Squash--------------------------  8:15-9:45pm See Apollo Calgary Oct18 Tuesdays

Calgary Networking Club--------------  5-7pm  1st Tues See 1 Calgary Outlink

Thursdays

Lesbian Seniors---------------------------- 2pm

 Kerby Center, Sunshine Room  3rd 1133 7th Ave SW Lesbian Meetup Group-------------  7:30-9pm  1st At 1 Calgary Outlink Fake Mustache Show-----------  7:30-9:45pm

By Miscellaneous Youth Network  1st At 60 Club Sapien Fake Mustache Show------------------  9:30pm

By Miscellaneous Youth Network  3rd  Quincy’s (609 7th Ave SW) Alcoholics Anonymous---------------------  8pm

 Hillhurst United Church (Gym Entrance) 1227 Kensington Close NW Fridays

Boot Camp (A)----------------------  7-8:30pm Sep7 See Apollo Calgary

Leather Night-------------------------- Evening At 4 Calgary Eagle

Between Men---------------------------  7-9pm See 1 Calgary Outlink  2nd, 4th

BBQ Fundraiser-------------------------  5-9pm

By ISCCA at 3 Backlot

Rehearsals--------------------------  7-9:30pm See Calgary Men’s Chorus Jun

Rec Volleyball------------------------------ 7pm See Apollo Calgary

Karaoke------------------------------  8pm-1am At 5 Texas Lounge

Illusions--------------------------------  7-10pm See 1 Calgary Outlink  1st

Fetish Slosh----------------------------  Evening  2nd At 3 Backlot

Womynspace----------------------------  7-9pm See 1 Calgary Outlink  2nd

Alcoholics Anonymous---------------------  8pm

 Hillhurst United Church (Gym Entrance) 1227 Kensington Close NW

New Directions--------------------------  7-9pm See 1 Calgary Outlink  3rd

Wednesdays

Communion Service------------------  12:10pm See Knox United Church Women’s Healing Circle---------------  1:30pm See AIDS Calgary

Heading Out-----------------------  8pm-10pm  4th See 1 Calgary Outlink Alcoholics Anonymous---------------------  8pm

 Hillhurst United Church (Gym Entrance) 1227 Kensington Close NW Saturdays

Free Pool-------------------------------  All Day At 4 Calgary Eagle with Prime Timers Calgary

Running------------------------------------  9am See Apollo Calgary

Badminton--------------------------------- 7pm See Apollo Calgary Sep8Dec15

Coffee------------------------------------  10am See Prime Timers Calgary

Bowling------------------------------------ 7pm Sep1Mar30 See Apollo Calgary

Curling-------------------------  2:20 & 4:30pm See Apollo Calgary

Mosaic Youth Group--------------------  7-9pm  Old Y Centre (223 12th Ave SW)

6 Goliaths-------------------------------------✰

 308 - 17 Ave SW  403-229-0911  www.goliaths.ca  Open 7 days a week, 24 hours a day

Community Groups 2 AIDS Calgary---------------------------- ✰

 110, 1603 10th Avenue SW  403-508-2500  info@aidscalgary.org  www.aidscalgary.org

18

Wednesday, April 1st

Tuned Out Music Trivia----------------  Evening At 9 FAB  1st, 3rd

Monday, April 11th

Sundays

Worship Time----------------------------  10am See Deer Park United Church Worship------------------------------  10:30am See Scarboro United Church

Concept Relaunch-------------------------- 8pm At 62 Concept Bar & Lounge State Dinner------------------------------- 5pm At 9 FAB Tuesday, April 12th

Imperial Roast---------------------  8pm-12am At 5 Texas Lounge Thursday, April 14th

Boot Camp (B)----------------  10:30am-12pm Sep12 See Apollo Calgary

In-Town Show------------------------------ 9pm At 60 Club Sapien

Worship Services-------------------------  11am See Knox United Church

Friday, April 15th

Int/Comp Volleyball-----------  12:15-1:45pm See Apollo Calgary

Out-of-Town Show------------------------- 9pm At 33 Twisted Element Saturday, April 16th

BBQ Social Sundays----------------------- 2pm At 4 Calgary Eagle

Hospitality-------------------------  11am-3pm

 Crown Suite, Westin Hotel

Church Service----------------------------- 4pm See Rainbow Community Church

Coronation--------------------------------- 4pm

 Grand Ballroom, Westin Hotel

Women’s Volleyball----------------  7-8:30pm See Apollo Calgary

Sunday, April 17th

Sunday Socials----------------------  Afternoon At 4 Calgary Eagle Free Pool-------------------------------  All Day At 4 Calgary Eagle Thursday, March 17th

Coming Out Monologues----------  7:30pm  Boris Roubakine Theatre Craigie Hall B, University of Calgary Friday, March 18th

Coming Out Monologues----------  7:30pm  Boris Roubakine Theatre Craigie Hall B, University of Calgary Saturday, March 26th

Femme Fatale 5--------------------  6:30pm At 60 Club Sapien ARGRA Dance-------------------------- 8pm

By ARGRA  Hillhurst-Sunnyside Community Hall 1320 5th Ave NW

Victory Brunch---------------------------  11am

 MacEwan Room, Westin Hotel Alaska Birdwater Party-------------------- 2pm At 4 Calgary Eagle Tough Drag-------------------------------- 9am At 4 Calgary Eagle Wednesday, April 20th

Back(lot) to Boyz(town)---------------  TBA By 3 Backlot  Vinyl (213 - 10th Ave SW) April 21st - 23rd

Western Cup---------------------------- 8pm

By Apollo Calgary See their ad in this edition for more info.

Wednesday, April 27th

Taste for Life-------------------------  Dinner

By SHARP Foundation

Legend:  = Monthly Reoccurrance,  = Date (Range/Future),  = Sponsored Event

 Calgary Contd.

Bathhouses/Saunas

Alcoholics Anonymous---------------------  8pm

 Hillhurst United Church (Gym Entrance) 1227 Kensington Close NW

Alberta Society for Kink

 403-398-9968  albetasocietyforkink@hotmail.com  http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/

group.albertasocietyforkink Apollo Calgary - Friends in Sports

 www.apollocalgary.com  www.myapollo.com

A volunteer operated, non-profit organization serving primarily members of the LGBT communities but open to all members of all communities.

Primary focus is to provide members with well-

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

organized and fun sporting events and other activities.

• Western Cup 29 

www.westerncup.com North America’s largest LGBT sporting competition with over 400 athletes in up to seven different sports.

• Badminton (Absolutely Smashing)

 St. Martha School (6020 - 4 Avenue NE)  badminton@apollocalgary.com • Biking  bike@apollocalgary.com

• Boot Camp

 Platoon FX, 1351 Aviation Park NE  bootcamp@apollocalgary.com • Bowling (Rainbow Riders League)

 Let’s Bowl (2916 5th Avenue NE)  bowling@apollocalgary.com • Curling

 North Hill Curling Club (1201 - 2 Street NW)  curling@apollocalgary.com Will return in September 2010. Sign up at myapollo.org to receive updates.

• Golf

 golf@apollocalgary.com www.gaycalgary.com

Directory & Events  Calgary Contd.

• Lawn Bowling

 lawnbowling@apollocalgary.com

have the right and ability to make their own choices regarding their sexual and reproductive health.

• Outdoor Pursuits

 outdoorpursuits@apollocalgary.com If it’s done outdoors, we do it. Volunteer led events all summer and winter. Hiking, camping, biking, skiing, snow shoeing, etc. Sign up at myapollo.org to get updates on the sport you like. We’re always looking for people to lead events.

1 Calgary Outlink-----------------------------✰

 B1, 1528 16th Avenue SW  403-234-8973  info@calgaryoutlink.ca  http://www.calgaryoutlink.com

• Running (Calgary Frontrunners)  YMCA Eau Claire (4th St, 1st Ave SW)  calgaryfrontrunners@shaw.ca East Doors (directly off the Bow river pathway).

Distances vary from 8 km - 15 km. Runners from 6 minutes/mile to 9+ minute miles.

• Slow Pitch  slow.pitch@apollocalgary.com • Squash  Mount Royal University Recreation  squash@apollocalgary.com All skill levels welcome.

• Tennis  tennis@apollocalgary.com • Volleyball (Beach)  beachvb@apollocalgary.com • Volleyball (Int/Comp)

 West Hillhurst Community Center 1940 6th Avenue NW  vb@apollocalgary.com • Volleyball (Recreational)

 St. Monica’s School (235 - 18 Ave SW)  recvb@apollocalgary.com • Volleyball (Women’s)

 YWCA Calgary (320 - 5th Avenue SE)  vbwomen@apollocalgary.com • Yoga

 World Tree Studio (812 Edmonton Trail NE)

 Robin: 403-618-9642  yoga@apollocalgary.com $120 (10 sessions); $14 Drop-ins open to all levels. Apollo membership is required.

Alberta Rockies Gay Rodeo Association (ARGRA)  www.argra.org

• Monthly Dances------------------------------

• Peer Support and Crisis Line  1-877-OUT-IS-OK (1-877-688-4765) Front-line help service for GLBT individuals and their family and friends, or anyone questioning their sexuality.

• Calgary Lesbian Ladies Meet up Group • Between Men and Between Men Online • Heading Out • Illusions Calgary • Inside Out • New Directions • Womynspace Calgary Queer Book Club

 Weeds Cafe (1903 20 Ave NW)

Deer Park United Church/Wholeness Centre

 77 Deerpoint Road SE  403-278-8263  http://www.dpuc.ca Different Strokes

 http://www.differentstrokescalgary.org Don’t Buy In Project

 http://www.dontbuyin.ca This Calgary Police Service Initiative aims to encourage youth to working towards an inclusive environment in which diversity is embraced in their schools and community.

FairyTales Presentation Society  403-244-1956

 http://www.fairytalesfilmfest.com Alberta Gay & Lesbian Film Festival.

• DVD Resource Library Over a hundred titles to choose from. Annual membership is $10.

Gay Friends in Calgary

 http://www.gayfriendsincalgary.ca Organizes and hosts social activities catered to the LGBT people and friends.

1320 - 5th Avenue NW

Girl Friends

 girlfriends@shaw.ca

 members.shaw.ca/girlfriends

Artists for the Quality of Life

 403-890-1261  www.afqol.com

Girlsgroove

 http://www.girlsgroove.ca

 Hillhurst-Sunnyside Community Association

Calgary Gay Fathers

 calgaryfathers@hotmail.com  http://www.calgarygayfathers.ca

Peer support group for gay, bisexual and questioning fathers. Meeting twice a month.

Calgary Men’s Chorus

 http://www.calgarymenschorus.org

• Rehearsals

 Temple B’Nai Tikvah, 900 - 47 Avenue SW Calgary Sexual Health Centre---------- ✰

 304, 301 14th Street NW 403-283-5580   http://www.calgarysexualhealth.ca A pro-choice organization that believes all people www.gaycalgary.com

Hillhurst United Church

 1227 Kensington Close NW  (403) 283-1539  office@hillhurstunited.com  www.hillhurstunited.com

HIV Peer Support Group

Knox United Church

Primetimers Calgary

 506 - 4th Street SW  403-269-8382  http://www.knoxunited.ab.ca

 primetimerscalgary@gmail.com  http://www.primetimerscalgary.com

Knox United Church is an all-inclusive church located in downtown Calgary. A variety of facility rentals are also available for meetings, events and concerts.

Designed to foster social interaction for its members through a variety of social, educational and recreational activities. Open to all gay and bisexual men of any age, respects whatever degree of anonymity that each member desires.

• Worship Services

 10:30am in July and August.

Miscellaneous Youth Network  http://www.miscyouth.com

• Fake Mustache  Quincy’s (609 7th Ave SW)  Club Sapien (609 7th Ave SW) Calgary’s ONLY Drag King Show. Early show 7:30pm, late show 9pm.

• Mosaic Youth Group  The Old Y Centre (223 12th Ave SW) For queer and trans youth and their allies.

Mystique

 mystiquesocialclub@yahoo.com Mystique is primarily a Lesbian group for women 30 and up but all are welcome.

• Coffee Night

 Second Cup (2312 - 4th Street SW) NETWORKS  networkscalgary@gmail.com A social, cultural, and service organization for the mature minded and “Plus 40” LGBT individuals seeking to meet others at age-appropriate activities within a positive, safe environment.

Parents for Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)

 Sean: 403-695-5791  http://www.pflagcanada.ca

A registered charitable organization that provides support, education and resources to parents, families and individuals who have questions or concerns about sexual orientation or gender identity.

Positive Space Committee

 4825 Mount Royal Gate SW  403-440-6383  http://www.mtroyal.ca/positivespace

Works to raise awareness and challenge the patterns of silence that continue to marginalize LGBTTQ individuals.

Pride Calgary Planning Committee  www.pridecalgary.ca

 403-797-6564

Pride Rainbow Project

 prp@planet-save.com  http://www.priderainbowproject.com Youth run project designed to show support for same-sex marriage in Canada and elsewhere. A fabric rainbow banner approximately 5 feet wide goal is to make it 3.2km (2 miles) long, in order to break the world record.

• Free Pool

 4 Calgary Eagle • Saturday Coffee

 Midtown Co-op, 1130 - 11th Ave SW

Queers on Campus---------------------- ✰

 279R Student Union Club Spaces, U of C  403-220-6394  http://www.ucalgary.ca/~glass

Formerly GLASS - Gay/Lesbian Association of Students and Staff.

• Coffee Night

 2nd Cup, Kensington Rainbow Community Church

 Hillhurst United, 1227 Kensington Close NW  roneberly@shaw.ca  http://www.rainbowcommunitychurch.ca

The Rainbow Community Church is an all-inclusive church; everyone is welcome.

Rocky Mountain Bears  bearcoltr@shaw.ca

 http://www.rockymountainbears.com

Safety Under the Rainbow

 http://www.safetyrainbow.ca

Mission: To raise awareness and understanding of same-sex domestic violence and homophobic youth bullying.

Scarboro United Church

 134 Scarboro Avenue SW  403-244-1161  www.scarborounited.ab.ca

An affirming congregation—the full inclusion of LGBT people is essential to our mission and purpose.

Sharp Foundation

 403-272-2912  sharpfoundation@nucleus.com  http://www.thesharpfoundation.com

Unity Bowling

 Let’s Bowl (2916 - 5th Ave NE)  sundayunity@live.com

Urban Sex Radio Show

 CJSW 90.9 FM

 http://www.cjsw.com Focus on sexuality; gay bisexual lesbian trans gendered and straight issues here in Calgary and around the web.

 403-230-5832  hivpeergroup@yahoo.ca

ISCCA Social Association

 http://www.iscca.ca

Imperial Sovereign Court of the Chinook Arch.

Charity fundraising group..

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

19

Directory & Events DOWNTOWN EDMONTON

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7 11 6 12

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1 Pride Centre------------- Community Groups 3 HIV Network------------- Community Groups 4 Edmonton STD---------- Community Groups

5 The Junction------------------ Bars and Clubs 6 Buddy’s Nite Club------------ Bars and Clubs 7 Down Under Baths--------------- Bathhouses

8 Prism Bar & Grill------------- Bars and Clubs 11 Steamworks---------------------- Bathhouses 12 Woody’s----------------------- Bars and Clubs

13 PLAY Nightclub--------------- Bars and Clubs 14 FLASH------------------------- Bars and Clubs

 Calgary Contd.

Western Canada Bigmen and Admirers

59 Village Bistro & Lounge------------------  2F, 610 8th Ave SE  403-262-6342 ext 236  M-R: 9am-4pm, F: 9am-5pm, S: 11am-5pm  www.villagebistrocalgary.com

 groups.yahoo.com/group/

WesternCanadaBigmenGroup/  bigpaul41@yahoo.com Vigor Calgary

 403-255-7004

 www.vigorcalgary.ca

Violence in Gay Male Relationships (VIGOR) is a committee of professionals dedicated to increasing the awareness of gay men’s domestic violence and the services available to them.

 210 - 7th Ave SW

Christmas, Halloween, and much more.

“Yeah...What She Said!” Radio Show

 CJSW 90.9 FM

 yeahwhatshesaid@gmail.com

41 La Fleur------------------------------------  103 - 100 7th Avenue SW  403-266-1707

Restaurants

Florist and Flower Shop. ✰

See Calgary - Bars and Clubs.

60 Club Sapien------------------------------ ✰  1140 10th Ave SW  403-457-4464  http://www.clubsapien.ca 9 FAB (formerly Money Pennies)------- See Calgary - Bars and Clubs.

Halo Steak, Seafood & Wine Bar

 Canyon Meadows Plaza

13226 Macleod Trail SE  403-271-4111  www.halorestaurant.com 20

Adult Depot----------------------------- ✰

 140, 58th Ave SW  403-258-2777 Gay, bi, straight video rentals and sex toys.

61 Holidays on the Hill----------------------- 403-263-3030

Wild Rose United Church

 1317-1st Street NW

4 Calgary Eagle Inc.----------------------

Retail Stores

✰

The Naked Leaf---------------------------  305 10th Street NW  403-283-3555  http://www.thenakedleaf.ca

Organic teas and tea ware.

16 Priape Calgary------------------------- ✰

 1322 - 17 Ave SW  403-215-1800  http://www.priape.com

Clothing and accessories. Adult toys, leather wear, movies and magazines. Gifts.

Wares & Wear Ventures Inc. See Canada - Retail Stores.

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

Services & Products Calgary Civil Marriage Centre  ca.ca@shaw.ca Marriage Commissioner for Alberta (aka Justice of the Peace - JP), Marriage Officiant, Commissioner for Oaths.  403-246-4134

MFM Communications

 403-543-6970  1-877-543-6970  http://www.mfmcommunications.com

Web site hosting and development. Computer hardware and software.

MPs Catering

24 Courtney Aarbo (Barristers & Solicitors)

 1138 Kensington Road NW  403-571-5120  http://www.courtneyaarbo.ca

 403-607-8215

GLBT legal services.

• Calgary Drop-in Centre

 Room 117, 423 - 4th Ave SE  403-699-8216  Mon-Fri: 9am-12pm, Sat: 12:15pm-3:15pm

Cruiseline

 403-777-9494 trial code 3500  http://www.cruiseline.ca Telephone classifieds and chat - 18+ ONLY. DevaDave Salon & Boutique

 810 Edmonton Trail NE  403-290-1973 Cuts, Colour, Hilights.

Duncan’s Residential Cleaning  Jim Duncan: 403-978-6600

Residential cleaning. Free estimates.

Lorne Doucette (CIR Realtors)

 403-461-9195  http://www.lornedoucette.com

Marnie Campbell (Maxwell Realtors)

 403-479-8619  http://www.marniecampbell.ca

SafeWorks Free and confidential HIV/AIDS and STI testing.

• Centre of Hope

 Room 201, 420 - 9th Ave SE  403-410-1180  Mon-Fri: 1pm-5pm • Sheldon M. Chumir Health Centre

 1213 - 4th Str SW  403-955-6014  Sat-Thu: 4:15pm-7:45pm, Fri: Closed

• Safeworks Van

 403-850-3755  Sat-Thu: 8pm-12am, Fri: 4pm-12am

Theatre & Fine Arts 36 ATP, Alberta Theatre Projects

 403-294-7402  http://www.ATPlive.com

www.gaycalgary.com

Directory & Events  Calgary Contd.

 Edmonton Contd.

AXIS Contemporary Art------------------- 403-262-3356  www.axisart.ca

 107, 100 - 7 Ave SW  rob@axisart.ca

Fairytales See Calgary - Community Groups.

Altview-Strathcona County LGBTQ Group

Book Worm’s Book Club  Howard McBride Chapel of Chimes 10179 - 108 Street  bookworm@teamedmonton.ca

43 Lisa Heinricks (Artist)---------------------  Art Central, 100 7th Ave SW, lower level  http://www.creamydreamy.com 35 One Yellow Rabbit-------------------------  Big Secret Theatre - EPCOR CENTRE  403-299-8888  www.oyr.org

✰

Camp fYrefly

✰

34 Vertigo Mystery Theatre------------------  161, 115 - 9 Ave SE  403-221-3708  http://www.vertigomysterytheatre.com

EDMONTON Bars & Clubs 6 Buddy’s Nite Club--------------------------✰

 11725 Jasper Ave  780-488-6636 14 FLASH---------------------------------------✰

 10018 105 Street  780-938-2941  flashnightclub@hotmail.com 5 The Junction---------------------------- ✰

 10242 106th St  780-756-5667  http://www.junctionedmonton.com

PLAY Nightclub (closed)-------------------✰

 10220 103 Street  780-497-7529  info@playnightclub.ca  http://www.playnightclub.ca Prism Bar & Grill (closed)------------- ✰  780-990-0038

 10524 101st St  http://www.prismbar.ca

12 Woody’s-------------------------------------✰

 11725 Jasper Ave  780-488-6557

Bathhouses/Saunas 7 Down Under Baths-------------------------✰

 12224 Jasper Ave  780-482-7960  http://www.gayedmonton.com 11 Steamworks--------------------------------✰

 11745 Jasper Ave  780-451-5554  http://www.steamworksedmonton.com

www.gaycalgary.com

Buck Naked Boys Club

 780-471-6993  http://www.bucknakedboys.ca Naturism club for men—being social while everyone is naked, and it does not include sexual activity.

Participants do not need to be gay, only male.

 7-104 Dept. of Educational Policy Studies

Stagewest------------------------------- ✰

 727 - 42 Avenue SE  403-243-6642  http://www.stagewestcalgary.com 58 Theatre Junction----------------------  Theatre Junction GRAND, 608 1st St. SW  403-205-2922  info@theatrejunction.com  http://www.theatrejunction.com

Alberta Bears

 www.beefbearbash.com

 #44, 48 Brentwood Blvd, Sherwood Park, AB  www.altview.ca

Jubilations Dinner Theatre  Bow Trail and 37th St. SW  403-249-7799  www.jubilations.ca

37 Pumphouse Theatre------------------  2140 Pumphouse Avenue SW  403-263-0079  http://www.pumphousetheatres.ca

Community Groups

Faculty of Education, University of Alberta Edmonton, Alberta, Canada T6G 2G5  http://www.fyrefly.ualberta.ca Edmonton Pride Festival Society (EPFS)

 http://www.edmontonpride.ca Edmonton Prime Timers  edmontonpt@yahoo.ca  www.primetimersww.org/edmonton Group of older gay men and their admirers who come from diverse backgrounds but have common social interests. Affiliated with Prime Timers World Wide.

Edmonton Rainbow Business Association

 3379, 11215 Jasper Ave  780-429-5014  http://www.edmontonrba.org

Primary focus is the provision of networking opportunities for LGBT owned or operated and LGBTfriendly businesses in the Edmonton region.

Edmonton Illusions Social Club

 5 Boots Bar & Grill  780-387-3343

 groups.yahoo.com/group/edmonton_illusions 4 Edmonton STD

 11111 Jasper Ave

Edmonton Vocal Minority  sing@evmchoir.com

 780-479-2038  www.evmchoir.com

3 HIV Network Of Edmonton Society---- ✰  9702 111 Ave NW  www.hivedmonton.com

Imperial Sovereign Court of the Wild Rose

 http://www.iscwr.ca OUTreach

 University of Alberta, basement of SUB  outreach@ualberta.ca  http://www.ualberta.ca/~outreach Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender/transsexual, Queer, Questioning and Straight-but-not-Narrow student group.

community. A time to get together, share a meal and meet people from the community.

• Free School

 Main Space – Upstairs  monika_penner@shaw.ca Free School provides workshops on a variety of topics related to local activism.

• Get Tested for STIs Free STD testing for anyone interested. For more information please contact the Pride Centre.

• GLBT Seniors Drop-In

 SAGE building, Classroom B 15 Sir Winstone Churchill Square  tuff@shaw.ca A social and support group for seniors of all genders and sexualities to talk, have tea and offer each other support.

• Men Talking with Pride

 Main Space – Upstairs

 robwells780@hotmail.com A social discussion group for gay, bisexual and transgendered men to discuss current issues and to offer support to each other.

• Men’s HIV Support Group

 Green Room – Upstairs  huges@shaw.ca Support group for people living with HIV/AIDS.

• Youth Movie

 Main Space – Upstairs  brendan@pridecentreofedmonton.org Movie chosen by youth (aged 14 – 25), usually with LGBT themes. Popcorn is served.

• YouthSpace

 brendan@pridecentreofedmonton.org A safe and supportive space for GLBTQ youth aged 13–25. Video games, computers with internet, clothing bank, and more.

Team Edmonton

 president@teamedmonton.ca  http://www.teamedmonton.ca

Members are invited to attend and help determine the board for the next term. If you are interested in running for the board or getting involved in some of the committees, please contact us.

• Badminton (Mixed)

 St. Thomas Moore School, 9610 165 Street

 coedbadminton@teamedmonton.ca New group seeking male & female players.

• Badminton (Women’s)

 Oliver School, 10227 - 118 Street  780-465-3620

 badminton@teamedmonton.ca Women’s Drop-In Recreational Badminton. $40.00 season or $5.00 per drop in.

• PFLAG

 Red room - Downstairs  780-436-1998  edmontonab@pflagcanada.ca Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: A support group for family members and friends of GLBT people. An excellent resource for people whose family members and friends have just come out.

•Ballroom Dancing

 Foot Notes Dance Studio, 9708-45 Avenue NW  Cynthia: 780-469-3281

• Prime Timers See Edmonton Primetimers.

• Bowling (Northern Titans)

 Ed’s Rec Room (West Edmonton Mall)

 bowling@teamedmonton.ca $15.00 per person.

• Suit Up and Show Up: AA Big Book Study

 Downstairs Couch Area Discussion and support group for those struggling with an alcohol addiction or seeking support in staying sober.

• TTIQ

 Green Room – Upstairs  admin@pridecentreofedmonton.org TTIQ is mixed gender open support group addressing the needs of transsexual and transgendered individuals.

• Womonspace Board Meeting

 Main Space – Upstairs  wspresident@hotmail.com Womonspace is a Social and Recreational Society in Edmonton run by volunteers. They provide opportunities for lesbians to interact and support each other in a safe environment, and to contribute to the broader community.

• Blazin’ Bootcamp

 Garneau Elementary School 10925 - 87 Ave  bootcamp@teamedmonton.ca

• Cross Country Skiing  crosscountry@teamedmonton.ca • Curling with Pride

 Granite Curling Club, 8620 107 Street NW  curling@teamedmonton.ca • Cycling (Edmonton Prideriders)

 Various locations in Edmonton  cycling@teamedmonton.ca • Dragon Boat (Flaming Dragons)

 dragonboat@teamedmonton.ca • Golf  golf@teamedmonton.ca • Gymnastics, Drop-in

 Ortona Gymnastics Club, 8755 - 50 Avenue  gymnastics@teamedmonton.ca Have the whole gym to yourselves and an instructor

1 Pride Centre of Edmonton-------------- ✰

 95A Street, 111 Ave  780-488-3234  admin@pridecentreofedmonton.org

• Community Potluck

 Main Space – Upstairs

 tuff@shaw.ca A potluck open to all members of the LGBTQ

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

21

Directory & Events Edmonton Events Mondays

Boot Camp------------------------------  7-8pm See Team Edmonton Men’s HIV Support Group--------------  7-9pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton  2nd Curling---------------------------------  7:15pm See Team Edmonton Oct4Mar21 Tuesdays

GLBT Seniors Drop-in------------------  1-4pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton TTIQ-------------------------------------  2-4pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton  2nd Youthspace------------------------------  3-7pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton Bowling-----------------------------  6:45-9pm Sept7Mar15 See Team Edmonton Community Potluck---------------------  7-9pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton  Last Recreational Volleyball--------  8:30-10:30pm See Team Edmonton Oct5 Swimming-----------------------  7:30-8:30pm May19 See Team Edmonton Martial Arts---------------------  7:30-8:30pm See Team Edmonton Wednesdays

PFLAG---------------------------------  12:10pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton  1st Youthspace------------------------------  3-7pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton

Youth Sports/Recreation------------------ 4pm See Youth Understanding Youth

Youth Sports/Recreation------------------ 4pm See Youth Understanding Youth

Youth Understanding Youth------------  7-9pm At 1 Pride Centre of Edmonton

Youth Movie Night------------------  6:30-8:30 See 1 Pride Centre of Edmonton

Mixed Badminton----------------------  8-10pm Jan13End of May See Team Edmonton

Youth Understanding Youth------------  7-9pm At 1 Pride Centre of Edmonton

Half Time Show------------------------  9-11pm

By ISCWR at 14 FLASH

Thursdays

Saturdays

Saturday, March 12th

GLBT Seniors Drop-in------------------  1-4pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton

Naturalist Gettogether---------------------- ???

See Buck Naked Boys Club  2nd

Dukes and Diamonds--------------  9pm-2am

By ISCWR at 12 Woodys

Get Tested for STIs----------------------  3-6pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton  Last

AA Big Book Study--------------------  12-1pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton

Youthspace------------------------------  3-7pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton

Monthly Meeting-----------------------  2:30pm  2nd

By Edmonton Primetimers  Unitarian Church, 10804 - 119th Street

Spring Fling Dance (Tentative)----  9pm-1am

By Womonspace  Bellevue Community Hall 7308 112 Ave NW

Youth Sports/Recreation------------------ 4pm See Youth Understanding Youth GLBT African Group----------------------- 6pm At 1 Pride Centre of Edmonton  2nd Swimming-------------------------------  7-8pm May19 See Team Edmonton

Youthspace--------------------------  3-6:30pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton Bowling------------------------------------ 5pm See Team Edmonton Sundays

Youth Understanding Youth------------  7-9pm At 1 Pride Centre of Edmonton

Running------------------------------  10-11am See Team Edmonton

Book Club------------------------------  7:30pm See BookWorm’s Book Club  3rd

Free School----------------------------  11-5pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton  2nd, 4th

Martial Arts---------------------  7:30-8:30pm See Team Edmonton

Womonspace Meeting---------  12:30-1:30pm  1st See Pride Centre of Edmonton

Intermediate Volleyball--------  7:30-9:30pm See Team Edmonton

Yoga---------------------------------  2-3:30pm See Team Edmonton

Fridays

Men Talking with Pride----------------  7-9pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton

Edmonton Illusions--------------------  8:30pm  2nd At 5 The Junction Youthspace--------------------------  3-6:30pm See Pride Centre of Edmonton

Ballroom Dancing--------------  7:30-8:30pm See Team Edmonton

 Edmonton Contd.

• Soccer

 soccer@teamedmonton.ca

• Hockey  hockey@teamedmonton.ca

• Spin

 MacEwan Centre for Sport and Wellness 109 St. and 104 Ave  Wednesdays, 5:45-6:45pm Season has ended.  spin@teamedmonton.ca 7 classes, $28.00 per registrant.

• Outdoor Pursuits

 outdoorpursuits@teamedmonton.ca • Running (Arctic Frontrunners)

 Emily Murphy Park, west end  running@teamedmonton.ca All genders and levels of runners and walkers are invited to join this free activity.

• Swimming (Making Waves)

 NAIT Pool (11762 - 106 Street)  swimming@teamedmonton.ca  www.makingwavesswimclub.ca • Tennis

 Kinsmen Sports Centre  Sundays, 12pm-3pm

 tennis@teamedmonton.ca

• Slo Pitch

 Parkallen Field, 111 st and 68 ave  slo-pitch@teamedmonton.ca Season fee is $30.00 per person. $10 discount for players from the 2008 season.

• Ultimate Frisbee  Sundays Summer Season starts July 12th  ultimatefrisbee@teamedmonton.ca E-mail if interested.

• Snowballs V

 January 27-29, 2012  snowballs@teamedmonton.ca Skiing and Snowboarding Weekend.

• Volleyball, Intermediate

 Amiskiwacy Academy (101 Airport Road)  volleyball@teamedmonton.ca

22

Friday, March 11th

Thursday, March 17th

Bylaws Meeting---------------------  9pm-2am

By Womonspace  Expressionz Cafe (Redwood Room) 9938 70 Avenue Saturday, March 19th

Leather, Feathers & Fur---------------  9-11pm

By ISCWR at 5 The Junction Sunday, March 27th

Journey Concert---------------------------- 3pm

By Edmonton Vocal Minority  Unitarian Church of Edmonton 10804 119 Street

Red Deer Events April 8th - 10th

Taboo Red Deer------------------------  All Day

 Westerner Park, Stockmens Pavilion

Legend:  = Monthly Reoccurrance,  = Date (Range),  = Sponsored Event

to help you achieve your individual goals. Cost is $5.00 per session.

• Martial Arts

 15450 - 105 Ave (daycare entrance)  780-328-6414  kungfu@teamedmonton.ca  kickboxing@teamedmonton.ca Drop-ins welcome.

Monthly Meetings---------------------- 2:30pm  Unitarian Church (10804 119th Street)  2nd See Edmonton Primetimers

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

• Volleyball, Recreational

 Mother Teresa School (9008 - 105 Ave)  recvolleyball@teamedmonton.ca • Women’s Lacrosse

 Sharon: 780-461-0017  Pam: 780-436-7374 Open to women 21+, experienced or not, all are welcome. Call for info.

• Yoga

 Lion's Breath Yoga Studio (10350-124 Street)  yoga@teamedmonton.ca Womonspace

 780-482-1794  womonspace@gmail.com  www.womonspace.ca Women’s social group, but all welcome at events.

Youth Understanding Youth

 780-248-1971

 www.yuyedm.ca

A support and social group for queer youth 12-25.

• Sports and Recreation  Brendan: 780-488-3234  brendan@pridecentreofedmonton.org

Restaurants 5 The Junction-------------------------------  10242 106th St  780-756-5667

12 Woody’s-------------------------------------✰  780-488-6557

 11725 Jasper Ave

Retail Stores Rodéo Drive

 11528 - 89th Street  780-474-0413  brendalee@rodeodrive.ca  http://www.rodeodrive.ca His and hers fetish wear, toys, jewelry, etc.

Products & Services Cruiseline

 780-413-7122 trial code 3500  http://www.cruiseline.ca Telephone classifieds and chat - 18+ ONLY. Robertson-Wesley United Church

 10209 - 123 St. NW  780-482-1587  jravenscroft@rwuc.org  www.rwuc.org  Worship: Sunday mornings at 10:30am

People of all sexual orientations welcome. Other LGBT events include a monthly book club and a bi-monthly film night. As a caring spiritual community, we’d love to have you join us!

• Soul OUTing

 Second Sunday every month, 7pm An LGBT-focused alternative worship. www.gaycalgary.com

 Edmonton Contd.

• Film Night

 Bi-monthly, contact us for exact dates.

• Book Club

 Monthly, contact us for exact dates.

Theatre & Fine Arts Exposure Festival

 http://www.exposurefestival.ca Edmonton’s Queer Arts and Culture Festival.

The Roxy Theatre

 10708 124th Street, Edmonton AB  780-453-2440  www.theatrenetwork.ca

BANFF/CANMORE Community Groups Mountain Pride

 BOX 4892, BANFF, AB, T1L 1G1

 Brian, 403-431-2569  1-800-958-9632  members@gaybanff.com  www.gaybanff.com Serving the GLBTQS community in Banff, Canmore, Lake Louise and Area.

GRANDE PRAIRIE Community Groups GALAP

 10113 - 103 Ave, T8V 1C2

 780-512-1990

ALBERTA

Gay & Lesbian Integrity Assoc. (GALIA)

 University of Lethbridge  galia@uleth.ca

GBLTTQQ club on campus.

Community Groups

• Movie Night

 Room C610, University of Lethbridge Gay Youth Alliance Group

 Betty, 403-381-5260  bneil@chr.ab.ca  Every second Wednesday, 3:30pm-5pm Lethbridge HIV Connection

 1206 - 6 Ave S

PFLAG Canada

 1-888-530-6777

 lethbridgeab@pflagcanada.ca  www.pflagcanada.ca Pride Lethbridge

 lethbridgepridefest@gmail.com

RED DEER Community Groups Affirm

Central Alberta AIDS Network Society

 4611-50 Avenue, Red Deer, AB  http://www.caans.org

The Central Alberta AIDS Network Society is the local charity responsible for HIV prevention and support in Central Alberta.

Western Canadian Pride Campout  www.eventmasterinc.net YouthSafe

 http://www.youthsafe.net

Alberta’s website for youth with sex-and-gender differences. Youthsafe.net lists the resources, information and services to help youth find safe and caring spaces in Alberta.

Theatre & Fine Arts Alberta Ballet

 http://www.albertaballet.com

Frequent productions in Calgary and Edmonton.

 Sunnybrook United Church  403-347-6073  2nd Tuesday of the month, 7pm

Composed of LGBTQ people, their friends, family and allies. No religious affiliation necessary.

Activities include support, faith and social justice discussions, film nights, and potlucks!

CANADA Community Groups Alberta Trans Support/Activities Group

 http://www.albertatrans.org

Canadian Rainbow Health Coalition

 P..O. Box 3043, Saskatoon, SK, S7K 3S9  (306) 955-5135  1-800-955-5129  http://www.rainbowhealth.ca

Egale Canada

 8 Wellington St E, Third Floor

Toronto, Ontario, M5E 1C5  1-888-204-7777  www.egale.ca Egale Canada is the national advocacy and lobby organization for gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, trans-identified people and our families.

Membership fees are pay-what-you-can, although pre-authorized monthly donors are encouraged (and get a free Egale Canada t-shirt). Egale has several committees that meet by teleconference on a regular basis; membership on these is national with members from every region of Canada.

Products & Services Squirt

 http://www.squirt.org Website for dating and hook-ups. 18+ ONLY!

Theatre & Fine Arts Broadway Across Canada

 http://www.broadwayacrosscanada.ca

OUTtv

 http://www.outtv.ca

GLBT Television Station.

A nexus for transgendered persons, regardless of where they may be on the continuum.

Gay and Lesbian Association of the Peace.

• Wednesday Coffee Nights

LETHBRIDGE Community Groups GALA/LA

 403-308-2893  http://www.galalethbridge.ca Gay and Lesbian Alliance of Lethbridge and Area.

• Monthly Dances

 Henotic (402 - 2 Ave S) Bring your membership card and photo ID. • Monthly Potluck Dinners

 McKillop United Church, 2329 - 15 Ave S GALA/LA will provide the turkey...you bring the rest.

Please bring a dish to share that will serve 4-6 people, and your own beverage.

• Support Line

 403-308-2893  Monday OR Wednesday, 7pm-11pm Leave a message any other time.

• Friday Mixer

 The Mix (green water tower) 103 Mayor Magrath Dr S  Every Friday at 10pm

www.gaycalgary.com

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

23

Politics

Skating Out of The Closet: Is The NHL Ready?

Political Column

By Stephen Lock The issue of gay, and lesbian, athletes comes up in the media every so often. To date, no athlete who is currently active in his or he, respective sport has come out, although several who have since retired have done so.

The issue has been kicking around for decades. The first major athlete to come out was champion tennis player Bill Tilden in 1920. Tilden was a three-time winner at Wimbledon, won seven US championships, and lead US teams to seven Davis Cup victories during his time. His homosexuality was an “open secret” throughout his career.

In recent times, an NFL running back by the name of David Kopay made international headlines by becoming the first professional team sports athlete to come out, and that was back in 1975. He played for several teams including the San Francisco 49ers (1964-67), Detroit Lions (1968), Washington Redskins (1969-1970), New Orleans Saints (1971), and the Green Bay Packers (1972). Following his coming out, Kopay, who had retired from playing and was seeking to coach football, found it difficult to find a job as a coach.

The first gay man to come out while still actively playing for a professional team sport was British soccer player Justin Fashanu in 1988. He committed suicide ten years later at the age of 36, following allegations he had sexually assaulted a teenaged boy in the US. In Canada, we have Brian Orser who was outed by an exboyfriend in a palimony suit, Mark Tewksbury an Olympic gold medalist in swimming who came out after he retired, and Toller Cranston who made no secret of his gayness but never actually declared it either.

But it is perhaps in the world of professional team sports that the issue creates the most anxiety and controversy.

While it is “known” there are gay players within the NHL, for instance - law of averages alone would suggest that - none have dared come out. And those who have “come out” after being molested by coach Graham James, namely Sheldon Kennedy and Theo Fleury, are both avowedly heterosexual with no suggestion whatsoever of being homosexual. The support within the ranks of professional hockey for both Kennedy and Fleury is notable, but even at that, it took them years before they were able to come forward publicly. Imagine what a gay player must be going through and, if a player did come out, would he be supported by his peers or vilified? Nobody knows.

However, there are some indications such support may be there. Sean Avery, the controversial and trash-talking

24

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

forward for the New York Rangers, (notorious for his “sloppy seconds” comment regarding ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert dating Calgary Flames defenseman Dion Phaneuf) declared in February he would absolutely support a player who came out.

“If there’s a kid in Canada or wherever who is playing and really loves the game and wants to keep playing but he’s worried about coming out, I’d tell him to pick up the phone and call (NHLPA Executive Director) Donald Fehr and tell him to book me a plane ticket. I’ll stand beside him in the dressing room while he tells his teammates he is gay. Maybe if Sean Avery is there, they would have less of a problem with it.”

Avery is not what one might call a sensitive sort of guy.

He’s tough. He’s got a mouth and a half on him. He’s driven, competitive and even a little pushy. If a total jock like Avery simply doesn’t have a problem playing with a gay teammate maybe there’s hope yet.

Of course, when it comes to professional team sports the concern (if we can call it that) about having an openly gay person on the team is the same as the concerns we heard about having openly gay military personnel. How comfortable will the straight athletes be, parading around the dressing room naked or showering together, when there’s a guy everyone knows is into guys in the room? The general consensus seems to be: not too comfortable. Gosh...what if he comes on to one of them or something? Pure hooey.

The thing is, there probably is already at least one guy in the room who is into other guys and if he hasn’t hit on his teammates by now, he’s not going to...and even if he does, (hot porn fantasies aside) so what? A polite, ”no thanks, dude” is enough...or words to that effect.

Chris Stevenson, a sports columnist for the Sun Media chain of which the Calgary Sun newspaper is a part, wrote in his February 4th column about Brendan Burke, the 20-year old student manager of the University of Miami at Ohio hockey team who publicly came out. Burke’s father is President and General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Brian Burke, and his brother is Patrick Burke, a scout for the Philadelphia Flyers. His family and his team supported him in his decision.

A few months after coming out, however, Brendan Burke died in a car crash in Indiana.

Stevenson poses the questions a year after Brendan Burke’s death, are we any closer to seeing the first openly gay player in the NHL, and is the NHL ready for it? He writes that Mark Tewksbury, who had some major issues about coming out himself and spent years being protected by friends and family before finally deciding to self-declare, is quoted as saying there

www.gaycalgary.com

will have to be a major cultural shift within hockey before a gay player would be comfortable enough to come out.

“I used to think it would take a brave player, but now I think it will take a brave, open-minded general manager,” he quotes Tewksbury as saying. “Brian Burke is the archetype of the macho hockey (executive). If he’s open-minded - if he’s willing - then there’s a glimmer of hope there can be a systemic change.”

And that is the crux of the issue. It will take a systemic change, a major cultural shift within the sport, before an openly gay athlete would be accepted. The sport is, like all such enterprises, a conservative environment. Players are concerned about public perception of their prowess and any suggestion they or the sport they’re in, no matter how remote or how distanced it may be from them themselves, are somehow “less than” masculine is going to elicit a strong reaction. Of course, those of us who are familiar with the culture of being gay, who are gay, totally understand sexual orientation has nothing to do with the degree of masculinity one possesses. The perception that gay equals effeminate is still a pervasive one in heterosexual culture, and one I have never been able to understand.

Not only are some players going to react but, since this is a multi-million dollar business, hockey executives are going to voraciously attempt to protect their bottom line. Investors are going to be really nervous about public reaction. Company executives are going to be anxious about their product being endorsed by an openly gay player. The fan in the seats may not care...or be a constant source of heckling.

If the sport has an openly gay player I can guarantee you there will be parents across Canada who will speak out about the “damage” it has done to having their little boys playing league hockey. Somehow, for some of them, having a gay player will negatively impact the game, somehow render it suspect, even unwholesome. What effect will having little Johnny’s favourite player being a - gasp! - homosexual, have on him?

All this is a consideration for any player contemplating coming out, whether fair or not.

Totally ridiculous, of course, but such are the realities of dealing with a dominant culture with no understanding, insight, or even interest in our realities.

However, Patrick Burke says he has seen signs of positive change since his brother came out.

“In the last year, both publicly and privately, I think we have seen a great deal of progress. For people who haven’t really been exposed to [someone who is gay], hopefully it did kind of open up some eyes.”

Not only has Sean Avery come out (so to speak) in support of a potentially openly gay player but, Ottawa Senators’ team captain, Daniel Alfredsson, has been quoted as saying: “If [a player was] gay, it would probably be really hard to have to hide it all the time. There will always be people opposed to it, I suppose, but I have a feeling that, overall, it would be accepted...I wouldn’t personally have an issue or feel anything [negative] toward someone who is gay.”

Statements such as those made by Alfredsson and Avery are, indeed, encouraging. Perhaps there is a small change starting to happen within the ranks of the NHL, and maybe from there it will spread to other professional team sports. We won’t know until a player takes that step across the threshold of his closet and comes out, prepared to take the flack and constant analyzing that every sports writer and commentator is going to give for weeks; about the effect coming out will have, might have, on his career, on his team, on the sport, on the bottom line, ad infinitum.

http://www.gaycalgary.com/a2103

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Editorial

Atheism, Sex and Sexuality

By Evan Kayne This month, the Center for Inquiry will bring in a speaker who is both atheist and queer. What she has to say is just as important to the LGBTQ community as it is to the atheist community.

Greta Christina was recently ranked by an independent analyst as one of the Top Ten most popular atheist bloggers. As a regular atheist correspondent for AlterNet, the online political magazine, she has been writing about atheism and skepticism since 2005.

Her writing has appeared in numerous magazines, newspapers, and anthologies, including Ms., Skeptical Inquirer, the Chicago SunTimes, and the anthology Everything You Know About God Is Wrong.

As well, Greta has written for years on topics including sexuality and sex-positivity, LGBTQ issues, politics, culture, and whatever crosses her mind. On March 12th, that will be atheism and how it can impact sex and sexuality.

This is important as most of us with a religious background contend with traditional religion’s sexual morality, which tends to be based on a set of taboos about what kinds of sex God does and doesn’t want people to have, rather than being based on solid ethical principles. While the sex-positive community offers a more thoughtful view of sexual morality, it often still frames sexuality as positive by seeing it as a spiritual experience.

However, according to Greta it still shouldn’t be. Instead, as she told me, “our sexuality and our sexual ethics need to be reality based.” It’s similar to, but an expansion on sex columnist Dan Savage’s concept that sexuality between two (or more) consenting partners need be “good, giving, and game”. It speaks towards our core ethical values and how it impacts our sex life.

Core human ethical values have been recently researched by anthropologists, neuropsychologists, and psychologists. As Greta told me, from this data we need to consider, “what are the ethical values that seem to be wired into us as a social species from hundreds of millions of years of evolution.” Throughout the world and throughout history, humans have developed recurring ethical principles such as preventing harm, being fair and just, and being honest, for example.

While different people and different cultures prioritize some values over others, over all these values are applicable to all areas of our lives: politics, money, family life, friendships, employment, and the laws we create to govern our society.

Therefore, it makes sense we apply them to our sexuality too.

“When we’re looking at sexual ethics we need to look at what are our ethics in all areas of life and how can we apply them to sex,” Greta stressed. This includes things like: are we being willing and open to try new things, are we adding to pleasure and satisfaction in the world or are we detracting from it? Are we being fair with our partner? Perhaps most importantly, is there clear consent? “Consent is a huge area of sexual ethics and it’s one I talk about.”

Besides discussing atheist sexual ethics, Greta will discuss how we can achieve sexual transcendence without a belief in the supernatural. “I think that’s something that’s going to be of interest to a lot of Queers because Queer religion tends not to be very traditional.” By not traditional she means spiritual new age mysticism; what she wants to do is offer us a secular alternative which doesn’t deal in these quasi-religious symbols, all while seeing sex as still magnificent and transcendent.

I asked her if she thought the LGBTQ community, because of their open-mindedness, was a bit more sexually ethical – a notion Greta dismissed. “What I do think...queer people are less likely to make their sexual decisions by default.”

Our community, she asserts, has had to “reinvent the wheel”; we’ve had to make up our own expectations of what it means to be a man or a woman, what it means to be a lover and a partner. In contrast, heterosexual folk have a set of expectations handed to them from day one detailing how a man should act, how a woman should act, and how the two interact. With same-sex couples, there is a level of communication required to understand the other partner’s position; consequently, our community tends to have a higher rate of sexual satisfaction.

This is not to say there aren’t expectations in the LGBTQ community. For example, Greta and I vented our frustrations with the expectations of past sexual partners – i.e. are you butch/femme;

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are you a top/bottom. Neither of us fit into, nor like, these labels and it’s irritating to assume we are one or the other.

Yet Greta does think in the heterosexual world – especially among the more cosmopolitan set – they are starting to break away from the expectations of what it is to be a straight male, or a straight female. She suspects it’s because of the mainstreaming of the queer community – as more straight people are making LGBTQ friends, our ideas are rubbing off on them. “The questioning of gender roles, the questioning of relationship status, questioning of what sexual relationships have to look like,” are starting to make it into our culture as a whole.

In Greta’s experience, the heterosexual world is also starting to equal and surpass our community, not only in breaking away from set sexual expectations, but in their growing affirmation of atheism. “My experience as a Queer Atheist has been that the atheist movement has been very accepting of me as a Queer person...and not just accepting, very welcoming...unfortunately it hasn’t worked the other way around.”

Greta finds the LGBTQ community tends to be uncomfortable with outspoken atheists. While our community has been shifting in the direction of progressive spirituality (especially progressive Christianity, progressive New Age religions etc.), it’s still leaving LGBTQ atheists out in the cold.

What’s worrying is a lot of the newer atheists are drawn from the younger generations. As someone who’s talked to young Queer atheists at speaking engagements, Greta has discovered both her and LGBTQ youth are getting the same message: atheists love the Queer atheists but the Queers want the atheist Queers to shut up.

And this is alienating the youth. “I think it’s driving them away from the Queer movement.”

Greta herself feels alienated by the Queer community, especially when she goes to conferences for the LGBTQ community and there is all this God-talk. She doesn’t want to silence these people, rather, she’d like to find a way for believers in the LGBTQ community to express their beliefs without making it the default standard for being Queer. In America, the mainstream is still staunchly religious, so as the American LBGTQ community becomes mainstream it is likewise adopting religion. Greta suspects some factions of the LGBTQ community have pushed religion to the forefront to be more appealing to the average American.

As well, Greta has experienced Queers themselves passing on inaccurate (if not bigoted) information about atheists. As Greta recounted some of the misconceptions LGBTQ people had about atheists, I had a feeling of deja vu, thinking wait a minute...isn’t this the kind of tactic the Christian right pull on the LGBTQ community?

Often, as Greta told me, this comes from the same place – fear and

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ignorance: “...they haven’t bothered to sit down for five minutes and talk with an Atheist.”

Sometimes these misconceptions can get downright insulting.

Greta has even heard the accusation within the LGBT community that, without the guidance of a higher power, atheists have no moral directive.

“That’s so frustrating to hear that from people who are on our side. Especially because the atheist movement is so gay positive.”

She doesn’t mean just welcoming – lots of heterosexual atheist activists are passionate about LGBTQ issues. She knows straight atheists who were blogging about Prop 8 before she was. “They are a very powerful ally for the LGBT movement, and it’s very frustrating to see the LGBT movement treat us (atheists) as an embarrassment.”

Strategically, Greta is worried about this attitude because as atheism grows and makes inroads – especially among the younger generations – the LGBTQ movement may shoot itself in the foot by alienating them.

Furthermore, to those who think that without God, humans would have no morals, Greta says, “Is that the only reason you don’t kill or steal, is because you’re afraid you’ll go to hell? If I could prove to you with absolute certainty God didn’t exist, would you suddenly kill me?” One would hope the answer to be no, as beyond religious belief, most people still have ethics and a sense of compassion. Yet the assumption is still, without the fear of punishment, we’d be terrible people – and Greta argues this is simply not true. “If religion is such a defence against unethical behaviour, why are so many religious people behaving so badly?” Not that Greta thinks religious people behave worse than Atheists, but they don’t necessarily behave better.

Granted, some of the resistance that the atheist movement faces may be specific to the United States. When preparing this article, I read news stories detailing how one soldier in Iraq was harassed because he admitted he was an atheist - this included ominous warnings that he just might catch some “friendly fire” one day because of his non-belief in a higher power. The atmosphere in the States is highly political, and for someone to state he or she is an atheist seems almost as bad as (or to some people, worse than) a declaration of one’s homosexuality.

Canada tends to be a bit more open and respectful of others’ opinions. If an atheist in Canada experienced the same bigoted reactions they would get south of the border, there would be a minor media outrage. Atheism is one more idea to challenge the status quo and call upon our society to rethink and improve.

As members of the LGBTQ community we need to remember we challenge the status quo on a daily basis...and that’s not a bad thing.

Additionally, because of the wide variety of people in our community, we usually try to practise inclusion. Queer Atheists, much like most of our LGBTQ religious friends, act and behave just as good and just as bad as the people in the general populace. For the religious among us to assume everyone believes in a god is no different than the straight community assuming everyone is straight. No matter your spiritual beliefs, atheists deserve the same as anyone else – respect and equality.

Greta Christina will be speaking at the University of Calgary the afternoon of Saturday, March 12th – see the end of this article for details.

Q Scopes

“Indulge, Libra!”

Spring fever hits early with Venus sextile Jupiter tempting us to new friends, fun, and flirtation. Then she aspects Mars, eager to realize the dreams inspired by Jupiter. Venus and Mars will aspect Saturn, bringing everything back down to earth. Get grounded with fresh new perspectives and you’re ahead of the game!



ARIES (March 20–April 19): Too many social temptations

make it harder to get things done, but you could organize your friends in a productive way, especially in a charitable service.

That could introduce you to your next mate, or cement an existing partnership.



TAURUS (April 20–May 20): Your initiative and innovations are getting good notice. Opportunities and responsibilities are about to grow. Share the credit along with the work and you’ll get lots of support from behind the scenes.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20): Friendly encouragement is welcome, but remember that’s what friends are for. When you parlay their faith into actual constructive efforts you’ll run into new obstacles. Accept those creative challenges and justify the regard of your admirers.





CANCER (June 21–July 22): Your public reputation and career advances will enhance your opportunities for private fun and games. That could feed a cycle of benefits on both sides, but all that could be a distraction from necessary work at home.



LEO (July 23–August 22): Being very accommodating

to your partner, especially in bed, will help you reach new understandings in your relationship. You may then hit a wall, but that was always there. It will give you a better understanding of how to negotiate limits.



VIRGO (August 23–September 22): Getting too clever at

work can confuse your colleagues. Listen at least twice as much as you talk. Taking the lead, you’ll just go in circles. Stick to what everyone knows you’re good at and trust others on your team.



LIBRA (September 23–October 22): Indulge those playful urges, even your wicked streak. Just remember your partner is with you against the rest of the world. If single, any prospective partner will be all the more eager to be on your side.



SCORPIO (October 23–November 21): Creativity, and

perhaps even a dash of perversity, is the key to getting through any task, no matter how onerous. If you can hold on to that attitude you can clear away a lot of household drudgery.



SAGITTARIUS (November 22–December 20): Your efforts to be brilliant and playful could prove more confusing than amusing to the folks at home. Your friends kind of get it, but the act still needs a bit more work. It’s OK; they all still love you.



Greta Christina http://gretachristina.typepad.com/

CAPRICORN (December 21–January 19): To get ahead more effectively you have to appreciate where you came from.

Siblings, even if they seem angry or confused, have important lessons for you. Make a gratitude list.

Speaking Engagement Sat, Mar 12th – 3:30pm Earth Science Building, Room 162 University of Calgary (2500 University Drive NW)

AQUARIUS (January 20–February 18): Try a new look based on your most underappreciated asset, physical or otherwise. That will start some fun discussions and then some arguments, but that’s the point! You’re used to stretching other people’s brains, now push your own to new limits.

Tickets $10 General Admission, $5 Students Free for friends of the Centre for Inquiry and U of C Freethinkers http://www.eventbrite.com/event/1233179473/autohome http://www.gaycalgary.com/a2104

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

PISCES (February 19–March 19): Worries? Doubts? Not sure where you’re going? Never forget to meditate! Getting into frenzy and going off half-cocked carries a huge price. Calm that overheated brain and answers to your problems will come into focus



Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977 teaches at the Online College of Astrology : http://www.astrocollege.com. He can be reached for personal or business consultations at 415-864-8302 or through his website at http://www.starjack.com

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

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Gossip Tilda’s Thai debut?

 Bradley Cooper, Photo by New Line Cinema

Deep Inside Hollywood Lee Daniels eyes Bradley Cooper

By Romeo San Vicente What movie will Lee Daniels (Precious) make next? It seems like he has a new potential project every few weeks. Will it be Selma like we keep hearing? The Butler? That remake of Fellini’s Nights of Cabiria? Well, the answer is maybe “none of the above” if The Paperboy happens. Based on Pete Dexter’s 1995 novel, it’s a crime thriller about two brothers pulled into the investigation of a rural sheriff’s murder and it’s set to star I Am Number Four’s hot young thing Alex Pettyfer. Word is that Daniels is already reading actors for roles and has made offers to both Bradley Cooper to play Pettyfer’s older brother and to Modern Family’s Sofia Vergara. Of course, what Precious fans want to know is if there’s a part for Gabourey Sidibe in all this, because given the fleeting nature of deals and shelved projects, literally anything can still happen at this point. So stay tuned for further speculation.

That tiny sound you just barely heard was the collective swoon and sigh of art film fans who very much want the following project to hurry up and become real: hyper-acclaimed gay Thai filmmaker Apichatpong Weerasethakul, whose latest film Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives won the Palme d’Or at Cannes and is currently in a handful of U.S. arthouse cinemas, is working on his next film, Mekong Hotel.

And it looks like it might star Queen of Everything Cool, Tilda Swinton. What’s it about? The director says it will “address the relationship between man and water, the catastrophic flooding which is blamed on Chinese dams and diseases spread by industrial-scale pig farming.” Of course, if that’s the case then expect those themes to be dealt with obliquely; Weerasethakul is infamous for plotlines that feel baffling right down to the closing credits. But who cares, really, because if Swinton winds up taking part it’ll get the visionary director seen by even more sets of confused eyes. And in the movie business that’s how you win.

Lesbian directors are all right Everything’s coming up deals for two lesbian directors. One of them is hot off an Oscar-nominated success story. The other one brushed up against Academy Award acclaim a few years ago. And both of them have high profile projects lined up. Lisa Cholodenko, whose The Kids Are All Right is the movie to beat in the Best Actress race, is taking on the film adaptation of Tom Perrotta’s novel The Abstinence Teacher. In the same vein as Perrotta’s earlier stories, Election and Little Children, it will mine anxiety in suburbia when a New Jersey sex education teacher has to battle local conservative forces that would seek to silence her curriculum.

Meanwhile, tough-minded Boys Don’t Cry filmmaker Kimberly Peirce has set up The Knife at Universal, a true crime drama about an L.A. gang member-turned-FBI-informant whose life is in constant danger. No casts or start dates for either of these projects, but details are sure to come soon enough.

Romeo San Vicente thinks abstinence is hilarious. He can be reached care of this publication.

http://www.gaycalgary.com/a2106

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Griffin’s Gleeful Tea Party It wouldn’t be a proper week of entertainment news if the Glee PR machine didn’t have some kind of announcement. And this week’s flash is the addition of a new right-wing character to the cast. A Tea Party-loving, homeschooling, Sarah Palin type. Played by Kathy Griffin. Now, contrast that casting announcement with creator Ryan Murphy’s stated intention to make this character part of the show’s inclusive vibe. Does anyone think it’s possible to have it both ways? Will it ride the outside edge of insulting, like the way Ashley Fink’s character Lauren Zizes gets to be powerful and the butt of fat jokes? Will the show simply abandon the character and her story lines when the next sensational musical guest star comes along? Can politically outspoken Kathy Griffin play a sympathetic rightwinger without smirking? And, more to the point, how long before Sarah Palin takes to the Internet with a video explaining how offended she is?

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Lifestyle

Cocktail Chatter

I Get What I Deserve: The Hot Toddy and Heads in the Clouds: The Aviation

by Ed Sikov “I’b biserable,” I shnuffled from my sickroom-sweaty side of the bed. Dan didn’t answer. “I’b biserable!” I shouted, then broke into a coughing fit of such violent proportions that, well, I’ll spare you the details – not that I don’t want to describe my mucus with the vividness and color one associates with a great travelogue or restaurant review, but it would be edited out anyway on grounds of revulsion. Dan came rushing in from the living room. I was wiping something yellowy-chartreuse from my upper lip. “You’re a mess, honey,” he said, quoting Dietrich in Touch of Evil.

“Da-a-an?” I cooed.

“I know that tone,” he said warily. “What do you want now?”

“A hod doddy.”

“A what?”

“A hod doddy!” I said before expelling more green stuff from my lungs.

“Oh, a hot toddy. I have no idea how to make one. You’re the cocktails guy.”

I wasn’t fond of this aspect of Dan’s personality – the willful ignorance of domestic tasks. Three Harvard degrees, a job that demands brilliance, research grants so plentiful that they remind me of The Producers (50 percent of his time gets charged to this grant, 30 percent to that one, 40 percent to another, a little 20 percent grant to top it off….). And he can’t sew on a button, locate a colander, or bake be a dabbed hod doddy!

“Neber mide,” I said. I wrapped myself in a heavy hooded robe that made me look like a Trappist, shuffled into the kitchen, rooted through the liquor cabinet, and promptly knocked over the bottle of herb-infused Absolut I’d made in the fall. “Shid!” I cried after the glass shattered on the merciless tiles. What was left of my Scarborough Fairs spread quickly across the floor.

Dan, contrite at forcing me to make my own drink, kindly offered to clean up the mess. When I returned to the kitchen, the only remnant of my delightful autumn tincture was the faint aroma of rosemary.

“Dis id de way de world will end – not wid a whimper but wid a hideous and defeadig crash,” I said sadly and snottily. I found the bourbon and gripped it like a barbell dangling over my head.

“You have a Ph.D. and you don’t know what mutatis mutandis means?”

He was appalled.

“Fuck you,” I explained.

We’ve been doing this for years. We’re all academics or ex-academics.

Dan has three degrees – B.A., MBA, and Ph.D. – all from Harvard. I have a Ph.D. from Columbia; Ted has one from Princeton and teaches at NYU; his partner, Eric, has an M.F.A. from Columbia and taught at Wellesley but now writes screenplays that actually get made into movies. You may have caught the farcical Brainiacs on cable; Eric wrote it. This dinner party demonstrated where he got his material.

We were flying on Aviations. I was in avast liquor emporium on the Upper East Side last week – I rarely go up there, since I’m deathly allergic to cashmere sweaters and simple strands of pearls – and saw Creme de Violette on the shelf with a little printed recipe for the Aviation.

Maraschino, was nearby. I bought both.

By Maraschino, I don’t mean the syrup in which innocent cherries are drowned in artificially flavored, carcinogenically colored sugar water so children can have their first drug rushes. I mean the clear cherry liqueur, which Italians make from Marasca cherries and their crushed pits. Et la Creme de Violette? Yes, it’s really made from violets and thus wins the title of The Gayest Liqueur Ever, there being no Creme de Pansy.

I played around with the recipes I found online at the marvelous blog www.sippetysup.com, where I learned that the drink has the reputation of being a 1930s cocktail, but it actually dates from 1916, when only a few people ever saw an airplane, let alone flew in one. In those days, flying into the sky in a technological wonder seemed miraculous. The Aviation celebrates that magic. It has by far the loveliest color of any cocktail I’ve ever seen – watercolor-pale lavender. And it’s extraordinarily luscious. Now that air travel is like taking the bus, except that the bus is on time, the aeroplanes’s early thrill is long gone. Unless, of course, you make yourself and your smarty-pants friends Aviations, in which case you’ll all quickly be even higher than your IQs.

The Aviation (a variation on the classic)

You can make a hot toddy out of practically any liquor, but the darker ones – whiskey, bourbon, scotch, brandy – are the classics. You can also use hot tea as a base. But I like cocktails to be cocktails and tea and coffee to be just tea and coffee. (There will be no Irish Coffee column, for instance, because it’s repugnant.) And I only drink hot toddies when I’m sick. The combination of those good old-fashioned cold fighters, honey and lemon, with a scientifically proven germ killer, bourbon, works best for me when I’m hacking up thick, slippery blobs of sputum that look like somebody made Jello out of thin, rotten pea soup and…. oh, right. Forget it.

Note: Martini glasses are much larger now than they were in the early 20th century. This recipe fills one 2011 glass or two old-style glasses.

Half-cup of Beefeater gin 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 tablespoon Maraschino 1-and-a-half teaspoon Creme de Violette Half-teaspoon “really” simple syrup – mix equal parts sugar and water in a jar and shake until the sugar dissolves

The hot toddy Boil 1/4 to 1/3 cups of water. Into a mug or heatproof glass, pour enough honey to coat the bottom. Add 1 or 2 teaspoons of lemon juice, and give it a stir. Pour in the amount of bourbon you think will kill enough germs to make the drink seem healthy. (Most recipes call for two tablespoons, but that’s like taking an antibiotic for which the bacteria is thoroughly resistant.) Pour in the boiling water, stir, and enjoy the drink’s curative effects.

Chill the martini glass(es).

Put all ingredients into a cocktail shaker and chill in the freezer for five or 10 minutes.

Take glass(es) and shaker out, add a few ice cubes to the shaker, and shake as though your life depended on it. Strain into the frosty glass(es) and hope that a few shards of ice rise to the top.

Heads in the Clouds: The Aviation “So, mutatis mutandis, the LGBT community…” Ted was lecturing about marriage equality from his podium on our living room couch.

“What?” I blurted. Cocktail “hour” was pushing 90 minutes. I should have served the lamb stew and couscous already, but I couldn’t get out of the chair.

Ed Sikov is the author of Dark Victory: The Life of Bette Davis and other books about films and filmmakers.

http://www.gaycalgary.com/a2107

“The gay community must shift its praxis from the dystopic to the….”

“No, before that. You said ‘mucous mucandies.’ What the hell does that mean?”

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Photography Photography ISCWR Oscar Party at Woody’s, Edmonton (photos by B&J)

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GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

ISCCA Barkley’s Birthday Show at Fab, Calgary

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Photography Photography Pride Calgary Silent Auction at Art Central, Calgary

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Uptown Oscar Du 2011 at the Uptown, Calgary

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

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Photography Wish Upon A Queen at Twisted Element - Calgary

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GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

Queen of Hearts the Junction - Edmonton (photos by B&J)

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Photography Straight to Diva at the Calgary Eagle, Calgary

Take Back the Night Art Exhibit at the Marque Room, Calgary

Divas to Disney at the Texas Lounge, Calgary

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GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

33

Road-Tripping Across Spain Out of Town

 Granada’s legendary Alhambra fortress clings to a hillside in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada. Photo by Andrew Collins

by Andrew Collins As a road-tripping destination for GLBT travelers, there may not be a better place to go in Europe than Spain. It’s relatively economical and easy to drive through this increasingly progressive country, that legalized gay marriage in 2005. It is dotted with cities and resorts popular with gay vacationers, and drives between key destinations often reveal stunning views of the Mediterranean, high desert mesas and snowcapped mountaintops.

I rented a car with a friend last summer and embarked on a twoweek road-trip covering the eastern two-thirds of the country - I missed the regions near the Portuguese border and north along the Atlantic (including Bilbao, which I’m eager to visit). But with just 14 days, my friend and I knew we had to exercise. We still managed to visit about a dozen towns and cities, some for the afternoon and others for two or three nights. All told, we drove roughly the distance between San Diego and Vancouver. It was a great adventure - my first serious extended driving trip in Europe.

Here’s a quick recap of our trip, which commenced in Barcelona in the northeast and ended in Malaga along the Costa del Sol, along with tips about planning a similar trip yourself to Spain or elsewhere in Europe.

We started in Barcelona, and I recommend beginning - and possibly ending - any European road trip with larger cities in which you plan to spend a few nights. Obviously, big cities have more international direct flights to choose from. They’re also usually easy to get to explore without a car. In fact, as they tend to generate plenty of traffic and have expensive parking, they’re better visited without a car. We spent our first three days in Barcelona without wheels (this included a day trip to the gay resort town of Sitges, which is extremely easy to reach by train), saving money and hassle.

From Barcelona our route across Spain looked a bit like a backwards “Z” - southwest to Madrid with a stop in Zaragoza (the heart of Aragonese Spain), then southeast to Valencia detouring for the afternoon to Cuenca, a stunning ancient city renowned for its 15th-century “hanging houses,” one of which now contains a respected contemporary art museum.

Here you can see a big advantage to driving - it allowed us to make impromptu detours to a variety of places we’d never have considered visiting had we been traveling by plane or even by train or bus. Without having to adhere to timetables or figure out public transportation logistics, we were able to make the most of our time, and even choose some wonderfully scenic routes. It helps that I love both driving and

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navigating (for this I relied solely on GPS and Google Maps on my Verizon smart phone, which has global roaming - unlimited data plans cost about $2 a day).

From Valencia we turned down the Costa Blanca to Alicante (spending that night in nearby Elche), then followed the sea through the only forgettable part of our trip - the bland, condo-infested resort of Torrevieja.

But we soon cut inland and up through the spectacular Sierra Nevada mountains to reach Moorish grandeur of Granada, where we spent the better part of the following day exploring the fabled Alhambra Palace.

We then continued west through Spain’s Andalusian countryside to the romantic city of Sevilla, and after two nights there cut southeast over the mountains to the Costa del Sol - stopping for a few hours in the picturesque cliff-top village of Ronda - before continuing to another of Spain’s top gay vacation spots, Torremolinos. We spent two final nights in Malaga, a somewhat underrated coastal city of about 570,000 with a lively Old City rife with sidewalk cafes, shops, and a smattering of gay establishments.

Leading destination Spain has become southern Europe’s leading destination for GLBT vacationers, especially travelers from the United Kingdom, Germany, Scandinavia, and other northern European nations. Barcelona and Madrid are tops among the big cities for gay travel, with Seville equally popular, though less for its gay scene and more for its celebration of Andalusian culture and cuisine. Valencia and Malaga possess more modest gay scenes but are also well-worth visiting. Granada has a limited but fun gay scene for a city its size (240,000), and Alicante was probably the biggest surprise for me. This seaside resort city on the Costa Blanca supports an extremely vibrant gay following (especially with British visitors) and contains more GLBT nightlife options than much larger cities like Valencia or Seville.

Among resort communities, tiny Sitges and Torremolinos have gay bars, resorts, and vacation rentals galore, as do two other communities that you must reach by plane or boat: Gran Canaria, which is the second most populous of the Canary Islands, a 2.5-hour flight from Madrid, and the famed party haven of Ibiza, just an hour by plane from Barcelona.

As with Barcelona, a car is arguably more bother than benefit in big cities like Madrid, Seville and Valencia. If you’re visiting these cities for more than two or three days, it’s worth ditching your rental car at the airport, and renting a new one when you leave. In our case, we stuck the rental car in a garage when we arrived, and picked it up again upon departing.

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Travel The 25 to 30 euros per night we spent on parking was still a better deal to us than constantly returning and renting new cars, which would have required taxi rides and wasting time getting to and from rental agencies. Also, it’s cheaper to rent weekly than daily, so having the car for a full 11 days worked out more economically than had we rented different cars for two or three days at a time. Finally, having the one car with us the entire trip allowed us to leave some of our belongings in the trunk.

It’s worth noting that car theft is a significant issue in Spain, but you’re unlikely to be affected by it if you exercise prudence - park in secure garages, store nothing in a part of the car that’s visible through the window, and keep no valuables in the car. We left only non-valuable belongings in our car when unattended, and we stored them in a concealed trunk.

Over the 11 days, we paid $380 (including all taxes and a roughly $70 surcharge for returning the car in a different city) for a mid-size car, which I booked on Expedia from Dollar Rent A Car a few weeks in advance. We saved money renting a manual-transmission car, not only because rates for these are far lower in Europe than for automatics, but because they get better gas mileage. It cost about $50 to fill the tank. We did run into some steeply priced toll highways (about $30 from Barcelona to Zaragoza, for example - they all take Visa and Mastercard), but many other major highways in Spain were toll-free.

We also paid extra for international auto insurance, which is a must.

Most U.S. policies don’t cover international car rentals, and credit card companies typically don’t either, but it’s important that you first contact these companies before you decide to rent a car to find out what sort of coverage you might already have. I purchased comprehensive auto insurance through Expedia for a very reasonable $11 per day.

network of high-speed, limited-access highways, gas stations are prolific, and even in smaller town roads are usually in good shape. And you’re comfortable behind the wheel driving in new places, it’s a great destination for road-tripping.

If driving is less your cup of tea, but you’d still like to tour multiple cities in Spain, consider flying among a few key destinations - such as Barcelona, Madrid, Seville, and Malaga - and using buses or trains for side trips. Another option is to buy a Spain Eurail Pass (http://www. eurail.com), and rely on solely on trains to get around.

A final thought: we visited in July because it best suited out schedule, but summer is typically the most expensive time to fly to Spain from the U.S., and the weather can be stiflingly hot. In interior cities like Madrid and Seville, we routinely encountered daytime highs above 100 degrees, but with low humidity. Along the coast, daytime highs hovered around the 80s, but higher humidity made it feel hotter. Travel around Spain in fall or spring, and you’ll likely enjoy milder weather, fewer crowds and better rates on flights, hotels and car rentals. Winter is a decent value in cities, but it’s high season in coastal resort areas.

For more on visiting Spain, check out the official national tourism website (http://www.spain.info) along with the very helpful site on gay travel in Spain, http://www.gayiberia.com.

Andrew Collins covers gay travel for the New York Times-owned website About.com and is the author of Fodor’s Gay Guide to the USA. He can be reached care of GayCalgary and Edmonton Magazine.

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Including rental rates, insurance, gas, parking, and tolls, we spent a comparable amount to what we would have for a similar road-trip in the United States Again, road-tripping in foreign countries - especially those known for aggressive drivers, poor roads, or intense traffic - isn’t for everybody.

Spain is a relatively easy country to drive in. There’s an extensive

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GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

35

Community

Alberta’s Top Ten LGBT Figures Part One

By Janine Eva Trotta In our recent Reader Survey we asked Albertans whom they felt stood out as impactful community leaders, either through personal endeavour, the efforts they exemplified at work, in their respective roles in organizations, committees or as volunteers.

From coronations to municipal candidacies, these community icons spanned the gamut of encouraging community accomplishments.

The ten victors, listed in no particular rank, were selected on the basis of what their respectful fans had to say about them.

In this March issue we list five of the ten, with the remainder to grace next issue’s pages.

Jason Wheeler – Owner of FAB Bar Jason Wheeler does well to exemplify community pride. After saying he was “very flattered and humbled” regarding his nomination, he reinforced the value of achieving a closer-knit, empowered LGBT community.

“You have no community without the U and I. Support one another and don’t let our differences overpower our similarities,” Wheeler states.

four years.

Wheeler was originally born in the United Kingdom, but moved to Canada with his family at the age of two. Later in life he would return to dwell there for

“Mom and dad just wanted a better life,” he says, of the decision to immigrate to Canada. Jason attended a Catholic school in Spruce Grove, Alberta, not because he was Catholic but because he “needed the discipline”. His family lived all over the country before landing back in Calgary in 2001. At that time his employer, the airline Canada 3000, had just gone bankrupt and his sister had moved back three months prior.

“I’m an Alberta boy at heart.”

In 2004 he began working at what is now known as the FAB Bar (formerly Money Pennies Eatery and Bar), and in 2007 became its proud new owner.

“One of the reasons I decided to start my own business is because whenever I worked for someone else I always ended up being the boss, so I thought, why not work for myself,” he recalls. “I bought an existing business instead of starting from scratch.”

The old Money Pennies was the perfect location from which a person with Jason’s community spirit could continue to branch out.

“I’m one of the gay men that loves lesbians,” he explains. “That’s why I liked Money Pennies and kept it.”

Jason opted to plant his roots in Calgary for the closeness he feels among LGBT society here.

“Calgary has such a strong community and it’s not broken up as it is in other cities,” he says. “I think our community needs to stay together instead of dividing themselves.”

The FAB Bar aims to illustrate that objective through a plethora of fundraisers. As Jason interviewed, the venue was getting ready to host a fundraiser evening for the ISCCA, a common event at FAB, and gearing up for a fundraiser for the Weekend to Cure Breast Cancer happening this spring.

“The [fundraising] teams come to us with ideas,” Jason tells us of the latter initiative. In the past this has included car washes, shooter sales and the selling of pink ribbons. “We’re encouraging unique ideas.”

In addition to running FAB with sister and co-owner Lizaine Wheeler, the family-man also owns a catering company called Cater!nc with his mom and dad, feeding corporate events and sometimes weddings.

Within Cater!Inc the Wheelers have also done fundraisers for the Heart and Stroke Foundation, United Way and other staff initiatives.

“I’m very close to my family. …I have a nephew named after me, and I was in the delivery room when he was born. That was first and last time I saw a vagina,” he laughs.

Currently Jason resides with his little dog Oscar Myer Wheeler, his “pretty insufferable, best buddy in the whole wide world.”

Jason’s volunteering days began working with the AIDS Network in Edmonton, previous to his HIV diagnosis, which came 15 years ago.

“It wasn’t after my diagnosis that I became more involved [with volunteering]. It was when I had my first serious illness as a result of it, and realized I was so fortunate to have such close family; that all my basic needs were taken care of, and that others are not so fortunate,” he says. “So I like to do a lot of fundraising towards AIDS and HIV and those involved.”

Jason currently works with AIDS Calgary and the annual AIDS Walk for Life, breast cancer fundraisers and awareness, and sponsors door prize every week at the Sunday Unity Bowling League, a gay bowling league in which Wheeler also participates. He and fellow survey winner Dion Belanger organize a World AIDS Day fundraiser and show at FAB every year.

“Based on 10 per cent of the population being gay in Calgary, if every [GLBT] member donated a dollar that would total $100,000,” Wheeler asserts. His drive is again clear: he wants a community where youth are supported and always have somewhere safe and welcoming to go to.

“If your family turns your back on you, there’s another family waiting.”

Allan Oen – Owner of Texas Lounge/Goliaths Allan Oen (with his partner Wolfgang) has done great things in the local community.

Allan grew up on a farm in Saskatchewan and dwelled in Saskatoon for a few years before moving to Calgary in 1995. Despite the novelty wearing off from Calgary’s initial draw, Oen developed lasting friendships and decided to stay.

In July of 1999, Allan began working at Goliaths Saunatel part-time, oscillating shifts between the bar and bathhouse, before becoming bar manager. Roughly five years ago, Allan was approached with the opportunity to buy the venue. Together with partner Andrew Brassard, Oen is the current owner of the Texas Lounge and Goliaths.

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“I started out at the very bottom so I understand what staff are going through sometimes,” Oen says of his humble beginnings.

Today the Texas Lounge teems with events and fundraisers geared toward helping many different groups within the community.

“I’m willing to help out any organization that comes and asks me,” Oen affirms. This has included the Children’s Wish Foundation, Beswick House through the SHARP (Society Housing AIDS/HIV Restricted Persons) Foundation, and this year a St. Patrick’s Day fundraiser on March 17, hosted

by Electronica and benefitting the Alberta Cancer Foundation.

“I’m a very big supporter of the ISSCA, having been a past empress, as well,” Allan expounds. His involvement with the Imperial and Sovereign Court of the Chinook Arch (ISSCA) started six or seven years ago in the role of princess for the then Empress.

“I took a year off after that because it’s a lot of travelling. You’re going to a lot of cities representing Calgary,” he explains. “But I decided a couple years later to run as Empress, and ran with my real-life partner Wolfgang.” Both were voted in, making the first Emperor and Empress combination who were also life partners.

Together the enthroned couple toured more than their requirement of four coronations, attending Court events and fundraisers across Canada and the United States.

Years later Allan was also named the ISCCA Entertainer of the Year.

Currently the ISCCA sells shooters every Sunday raise funds for their charities, and every Sunday the bar screens a movie and orders pizza for the ISCCA to sell by the slice.

“I’m always kind of helping out in some kind of capacity,” he says, noting that in the not so distant future he could see himself running for Empress with Wolfgang as Emperor, again.

“Being Emperor/Empress together, I found, it brought us closer in a lot of ways,” Allan admits. “If you can make it through being Emperor/ Empress together, on top of all the other stresses of a relationship, you can make it through everything I think.”

Last December Allan and Wolfgang celebrated 11 years together.

“We have the same vision and the same goals. Whether we could beat our other [fundraising] record, I don’t know. We would have to do our best.”

In addition, Allan envisions helping to launch a LGBT retirement centre “at some point down the road.”

“It’s so sad that some people enter the age of retirement and have to go back into the closet, so to speak, and can’t be themselves anymore.”

Allan is consistently generating ideas of more things to do in the community, and greatly appreciates the acknowledgement for doing so.

“I just want to thank all of the readers for thinking of me as an influential person. It scares me a bit! But I appreciate people looking up to me in that way. Hopefully I can live up to it.”

Terri Stevens – Drag Performer Terri Stevens was quite surprised to hear that his nominations won him a spot in Alberta’s top 10 LGBT figures. But as one looks back at the 30 years, and counting, of artistry and involvement he has offered the LGBT community nationwide, there is no surprise that his nominators set forth to acknowledge this work.

“It’s a fulltime volunteer position, that is. You really have to work hard and try to represent the community as best as you can; both when you’re out and about and when you’re in your own city.”

This includes shooter bars, coat checks, and drag shows for which Allan (occasionally alongside Wolfgang) hit the stage under the spicy pseudonym Dynamite.

“You just do the best you can, stay away from the politics and just try to have a good time and remember why you’re doing it. …You’re doing it for the community and doing it for good; that’s the right reason.”

Allan recalls a moment during his reign as Empress when this became vividly clear.

“On Mothers’ Day we went to the Beswick House and planted flowers for the people living there at the time. Seeing the people you’re actually helping, helps you to keep it in perspective.”

Over the year Allan had met and seen many amazing people and places, and it all culminated at the end of his reign.

“When we stepped down together it was a very emotional day… To be there with all of your friends… my mom came to see me step down and see what we were able to give to charities within the city.”

That afternoon the couple found out that their efforts had raised the sum of $42,000 – a new record in the 30 years that the ISCCA has been running.

“We had broken the record for the most to be given away,” Allan says.

Every year, ISSCA funds reach out to the community initiatives of choice for the Emperor and Empress, which have included Beswick House AIDS hospice, HIV support groups, the Salvation Army, Agapé hospice for terminal illness, and the Children’s Wish Foundation.

“I had a motto: It didn’t matter whether you gave a penny, five dollars, ten dollars, or 20, it all adds up in the long run. Whatever you can afford to give is worthwhile.”

All costumes, wigs and travel expenses were covered by Allan and Wolfgang personally, and for several events the Texas Lounge donated their space.

“Anytime I ever got tipped for a performance I always gave the money back to charity, and Wolfgang did the same… I always made sure everything went to charity like it was supposed to.”

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Terri was Alberta-born but raised in the Okanagan, BC. When he was 15 he made his debut as a drag artist on stages in Vancouver and Victoria.

“Everyone thinks drag just involves putting on a wig and singing a song,” he says. “I’ve had lots of fun times in the past 30 years, but I think it’s more about the involvement with the people in the crowds, interaction with the audiences, making them forget their own issues or drama for that brief period of time you’re on the stage, or whatever the case may be.”

Stevens cites himself a triple threat: he can sing, he can dance, and he can do his own makeup, hair and make his own costumes.

The artista sat amid 20 metres of black chiffon during our interview, of which he was intending to craft his next costume.

Terri dismays at the existing stereotypes surrounding drag artists.

“It’s not easy being a queen,” he croons. “There’s a big difference between mentorship and dictatorship.”

Terri encourages crowd-focus and a drug-free zone. “Drugs equal drama,” he warns. “No drugs, no drama.”

Stevens notes that one of the fundamentals toward professionalism on stage is to put the audience’s experience above the current goings on in your own personal sphere. “[Drag is about] the fulfillment of knowing that you entertained someone, knowing that you’re making someone laugh, making someone cry; the fact that people will go oh my god that was fabulous!”

In addition to performing Canada-wide, Terri has supported PWA (People With Aids) and the Imperial Court of Canada in every city he has lived in, including Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton, Toronto and Niagra Falls.

“I’ve done everything,” he says. “If somebody asks, you show up, and you donate your tips back… It’s good to do your pro bono work.”

Terri’s performances have generated funds for groups such as AIDS Calgary, and toward cancer awareness.

“Like many others before me, I’m just one more stepping stone helping to pave the way for future drag artists.”

Over the last two years Terri has been working at the Twisted Element and hosting the Twisted Burlesque Follies every Sunday at 11:30pm.

“Get a bunch of people together and see the show,” he advises. Terri says his particular forte is celebrity impersonation.

“When I do Cher I look like Cher; and it freaks people out,” he says of his favourite star to manifest. Reba McIntyre is also on his bill, and occasionally the artist will hammer out a mean impression of stars such as Dame Edna or Joan Rivers, the diva that inadvertently launched his performance career.

“I put on a dress one day and someone said I looked like Joan Rivers, so I did it.”

His performance skills took him to Toronto, where he worked with drag troupes La Cage (one of the longest standing dinner theatre drag shows in Canada) and the Great Imposters, but eventually a yearning to come home drew him back to Calgary.

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Now Terri runs a “small, little arm of the Great Imposters and another group called Ladies of La Cage, available for private shows and corporate functions,” he touts.

This month and next Terri and his troupe will tour to Saskatchewan for performances.

“Wherever the agent books me, that’s where I go.”

Terri’s nominees extol his unsung praise for decades of benefit shows, Canada Imperial Court performances for charity, and other fundraising revues.

“Thank you for the nominations, it was highly unexpected,” he says.

“It just goes to show that if you change things in your life, your life changes for you.”

Brendan Van Alstine – Politician and Activist A born and raised Edmontonian, Brendan Van Alstine has been active in the LGBT community for a near decade. Brendan began volunteering at the Pride Centre of Edmonton in 2003, taking a position there in 2006, before being hired on as a mental health worker in inner city Edmonton.

In his spare time - which surprisingly he can find Brendan both volunteers and runs for political office. Van Alstine has helped out at the Queer Youth Camp-Out, open to all LGBTQ and allied youth aged 14 to 25. This event started over a weekend in the summer of 2008 and, with rave reviews from participatory campers, continues to take place annually. The summer weekend at an allied campground south of Edmonton features swimming, crafts, games, sexuality workshops, sports and a talent night.

In addition, Brendan has been a helpful hand for numerous years with the Queer Allied Network, a group supporting action for LGBT equality in Alberta, and Youth Understanding Youth, a group providing a safe and supportive place for youth to gather, contribute and express what’s on their mind.

“The best way to promote a positive environment is to make sure everyone is treated equally with dignity and respect,” Van Alstine states.

In 2007 Brendan helped found the Transit Riders’ Union of Edmonton, an independent, autonomous group that lobbies for better transit in the municipality. Projects are ongoing, and call on all transit takers to participate.

Brendan has also played an active role in the revitalization efforts of the Alberta Ave/118th Ave neighbourhood where he resides. This includes volunteering at the Carrot Community Arts Coffee House as well as various festivals that take place on the avenue, including Kaleido, a community arts festival, and the Deep Freeze Byzantine Winter Festival, which “ushers in the Olde New Year in style” with outdoor sports, indoor fare, music and art.

Brendan says though this nomination was not something he was expecting (having already won in 2009’s reader survey), “it’s a nice feeling that people recognize the work I’ve done.”

Most recently, Van Alstine ran for Edmonton City Council in Ward 7, placing third out of five candidates, and is planning to run again in the 2013 election.

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“Wiser use of police resources must be part of the equation for making our neighbourhoods safer,” Brendan blogged in the week leading to last October’s municipal vote. “Some of the simplest solutions are often the best: refreshing infrastructure to make our streets more walkable and encouraging a vibrant local business community.”

This forward-thinking attitude is exactly what inspired his nomination.

Supporters of this budding politician praise Brendan for his work toward establishing a community that is safe and welcoming to youth and new residents, and encourages healthy, environmentally-friendly and sustainable, rewarding activities that take place outside of the bar scene.

Brendan has marked himself as a community leader who thinks outside the box and spreads optimism and mindfulness in all of his undertakings.

“It’s not too late to make the world a better place,“ he says. “…one person can change the world.”

Mike Gray – Owner of Club Sapien “Oh I’m flattered! What an honour. What do you say to that? That’s the greatest compliment you can get paid,” says the humble Mike Gray upon hearing of his nomination.

A native Calgarian, born and raised, Mike is the co-owner of Club Sapien despite having never thought he would own any venture of this sort.

“Any charity that has a gay-focus, or that someone in the community is passionate about, we’re happy to provide the space,” Mike says. In the past this has included the SHARP Foundation, the Kid’s Help Phone, Apollo and AIDS Calgary.

Come to the Club with a plan and, Mike says, “we’re certainly going to support it.”

Sapien is also sponsoring the Apollo Western Cup, approaching this Easter long weekend.

“We’re doing our best to provide [Apollo] somewhat of a home base while they are here, somewhere to celebrate the victories and to console themselves in defeats over the sporting events coming up.”

Furthermore, the staff at Sapien have put together a dodge ball team to compete this year. “I don’t know who’s going to work,” Mike kids. “We may have to draw straws.”

“Mainly we’re just looking to make sure that when all the guests are coming from across the country to play in the Western Cup, that they walk away with a great feeling of what Calgary has to offer.”

Mike lives under the adage, “It is our community and it’s up to us to make it work.” He goes on to say, ”The more people that get out and get involved, the better the community will be.”

Information about upcoming events and nights at Sapien can be found on Facebook or the Sapien website in the Extras section. This area of their site also features tips from their staff on how to handle your first club experience, or advice on how to remedy unpleasant ones.

“There are lots of great events and venues even if you’re not involved in the bar scene,” Mike says. “Give it a try. Get out in your community.

Get out and get involved.”

“Strangely enough I have a Bachelor of Commerce with a specialty in Entrepreneurship, but I had no intention at the time to open my own business,” Mike explains. “I thought that was the most ridiculous idea ever. Who knew?”

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Instead, the studied entrepreneur went from his undergrad days at the University of Victoria back home to a career at Famous Players, which he loved.

“That’s where some inspiration came from,” he says of the years he spent watching and helping people that were going out to have a genuine good, fun time.

In July 29, 2010, Mike opened Club Sapien, a place for the LGBT community and their allied friends to do just that: to go out and have a genuine good time.

“I always loved the entertainment industry,” Mike says. “Club Sapien was just sort of that ultimate in providing that kind of fun in our community. It was a great opportunity.”

With his business partner, Mike looked at the social opportunities available to Calgary’s straight counterpart, and tried to establish what was missing in the LGBT community.

“They aren’t sort of pigeon-holed into one type of bar, or one type of feel that they’re limited to,” he explains. “After work you want to go out to a place where you feel safe and comfortable. That’s how we modeled Sapien.”

Mike endeavored to create a place that functions as a gay environment, in a relaxed space where one feels at ease bringing anyone with them.

“Not a place where you have to warn friends before you take them in,” Mike says. “Somewhere you can go to and feel community, and feel proud of who we are in our everyday lives.”

However, Club Sapien aims to veer away from the ‘traditional’ gay establishment and give the community more evenings to chill.

“We didn’t think there was that opportunity for everyone,” Mike says.

“Twenty year s ago there wasn’t really mingling between the gay and straight culture. Now there is, hopefully, somewhere they can see us on our home turf and feel comfortable.”

Club Sapien is an upscale pub, offering good value food somewhere contentedly between greasy grub and steak and lobster - and a venue for fundraising.

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GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

39

Trans Identity

The Quest to Pee III

By Mercedes Allen On February 9th, 2011, Bill C-389, An Act to Amend the Canadian Human Rights Act and Criminal Code (gender identity and gender expression), passed third reading in Parliament, and moved on to the Senate, where it faces even more daunting challenges.

If you heard anything about the bill at all in the mainstream media, it was either from Charles McVety raising fears that legal protections for trans people would result in trans women using the ladies’ restroom and being a threat to his daughter (a claim which would go almost unchallenged), or the occasional maverick editorial supporting trans rights, but without any trans perspectives at all on what human rights inclusion would mean for them. This was not for lack of people willing to speak publicly on the issue, since a network of trans activists across the country had approached the major media outlets indicating a willingness to speak.

Potty fear has been a tactic from the far right that started being used in earnest in the US around 2008 to oppose any form of human rights inclusion for trans people, and also used to oppose any gains made by the lesbian and gay community at large – sometimes even if trans people weren’t included in the legislation at all. And of course, it was a ruse. In almost all cases, it had always been legal for transsexual women to use the ladies restroom, and in all cases, this had happened for decades without incident.

Despite being a fallacy, the religious right found the potty meme to be a quick, exploitive way to win support through fear. But in the long run, the washroom argument almost never succeeded. Even in the national discussion in Canada, where the media allowed McVety to turn a bill which said absolutely nothing about -- nor changed what is legal in -- washrooms into “the bathroom bill,” C-389 still passed, albeit narrowly.

In 2008, right-wing groups responded to a proposed rights bill in Montgomery County, Maryland by characterizing it as “the bathroom bill.” The groups that had pioneered the modern use of potty panic realized that the evidence was against them, so they staged a fake locker room invasion in a Gaithersburg, Maryland health club. [1] Of course, they took it upon themselves to embellish a little by having the invader do tough drag, something certain to play on the “ick” factor of people everywhere and ensure that everyone saw the invader as a man in a dress:

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Around 1 p.m. Monday, a man wearing a dress walked into the women’s locker room surprising Mary Ann Ondray who was drying her hair. “I could see his muscles, I could see his large hands. He was wearing a blue ruffled skirt that came down to above the knee.”

The ploy was so obvious that the public expected that the event was faked, and Citizens for a Responsible Government spokesperson Theresa Rickman eventually admitted it during an interview by an allied organization. [2] Rickman had even been in the lobby of the gym when the incident took place, in order to direct media. Even though the only thing exposed was CRG’s intent to deceive, Focus on the Family, Family Research Council and other anti-gay organizations have still used the “Maryland spa” incident on occasion over the years since, as evidence of wrongdoings that will ensue if we extend human rights to trans people – it’s the only thing they can find to point to. In the US, the ratio of transinclusive ordinances to actual problems is 130+ [3] (dating as far back as 1975) to 0.

The far right continues to use the potty meme because it gains some quick support, and as long as they can divert people from examining further, it seems to them to be lasting support. It was somewhat successful in Canada during the public discussion, because left and center –leaning people didn’t bother to challenge it, and so it was allowed to dominate the conversation. And yet it only works because the media allows folks like McVety (or even encourages them, since sensationalism sells, and it becomes lucrative to provide the platform) to conflate all trans people with a Jerry Springer-style image of rough drag, conflate all trans people (male-identified or female-identified) with men, and conflate all men with sexual predators.

Sometimes, when called on the ruse, opponents of trans rights will say, “I’m not saying trans people are molesters, but someone might pretend to be trans in order to access a washroom.” Beyond the obvious problem with opposing human rights for an entire group of people in order to avert theoretical occurrences not related to them, this argument also assumes that a washroom predator would be more likely to risk attracting attention to themselves throughout their travels in public by crossdressing, in order to access a washroom they’d have better luck accessing by slipping in when no one is looking.

In the US south, decades earlier, there was reluctance to desegregate washrooms because of “delicate sensibilities” and beliefs in the inferiority and impurity of entire groups of people. In the advent of HIV, there were ignorant comments

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about gay men in washrooms, borne by fears (that had not yet been dispelled by science) that AIDS could be contracted from a toilet seat. And every time, there was hysteria. Every time, it was unfounded. Every time, our society ultimately moved toward progress, inclusion and accommodation, anyway. And every time, we looked back and realized that the potty panic was just plain offensive.

Of course, the religious right’s concern never really was about washrooms. While Bill C-389 began its slow trek to passage in Canada, the city of Missoula, Montana passed an ordinance that extended human rights to LGBT people.

Opponents emulated the CRG use of potty fear by creating notmybathroom.com (modeled after CRG’s notmyshower. com) and painting that ordinance as “the bathroom bill.”

The ploy failed to work, and the ordinance was passed (and potty chaos failed to ensue). So last month, opponents dropped all pretences of concerns for propriety when they lobbied the Montana Legislature to put forward a bill that would prevent communities from passing human rights ordinances that differed from the State’s law – thus erasing LGBT protections in Missoula. Now, of course, the issue is masked as “reigning in rogue government” and “maintaining intergovernmental consistency.” We, however, recognize it as the blatant will to discriminate.

One of the Conservative government’s stated reasons for opposing Bill C-389 was that it was “unnecessary.”

But it is necessary. It’s necessary exactly because this irrational fear persists. It’s necessary exactly because trans people still get conflated with sex predators and child predators, or labeled as “sick,” “perverse,” and “freaks.” It’s necessary exactly because people become so clouded with assumptions and myths that they argue for our deliberate exclusion from human rights under the pretext that granting them would be “dangerous” or “scary.” It’s necessary exactly because this bias is so entrenched that people think nothing about broadcasting it openly as though fact. It’s necessary exactly because it is so pervasive that discrimination becomes not only likely but inevitable.

Because Bill C-389 is a human rights bill. Inclusion in the hate crimes clauses of the Criminal Code of Canada means that violence against trans people cannot be simply dismissed in the courts as inconsequential or the victim’s just deserts, and hate crimes data can start to be collected.

Inclusion in the Canada Human Rights Act calls for equal treatment in terms of employment, housing and access to services. While the Canada Human Rights Act only governs those things governed federally, it bolsters the case for human rights inclusion through the various provinces, and pushes for them to write inclusion in.

Bill C-389 is a human rights bill. Affirmation in the form of C-389 is necessary exactly because the use of irrational assumptions to hijack human rights for trans people persists.

TransRights.ca has a sample letter and contact info so that you can contact Senators to voice your support for Bill C-389, and to stress the importance of it proceeding through the Senate in a timely manner. At the time of writing, it is still a bill without a sponsor in the Senate.

References: 1) www.gaycalgary.com/u205 2) www.gaycalgary.com/u212 3) www.gaycalgary.com/u219

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41

Community

Coming Out Monologues Queer students share their experiences

By Carey Rutherford Lacey Mullett is the Programming Assistant for the QCentre’s Coming Out Monologues and she is quite happy with the growth that she has seen with the event since last year’s origins.

“It’ll be two acts, with eight different 2-5 minute monologues in each act, and at some point in the evening there will be a drag show of some kind,” she explains. “And it’s two nights, now, instead of one. We’ll also use it as a form for the U of C’s It Gets Better videos, which we filmed in the fall.”

During the event, there will be monologues presented by those who’ve personally hurdled and overcome the experience, while some are presenting others’ life moments.

But the stories are all taken from real-life ruminations; people making the steps to accept their gender and sexual orientation wholly into their identity.

“It was actually the University of California at Riverside that started the (Coming Out Monologues) projects, and they collected a bunch of student stories and monologues, and it snowballed from there. I believe Texas A&M does them as well, and we got some scripts from there.”

The program guide of the original Coming Out Monologues, April 2007, stated, “What you will be seeing tonight is the first in what we hope will become a UCR tradition. Inspired

by Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues, UCR’s The Coming Out Monologues is a community-based theatre project celebrating the diversity of experience and identity as a culmination to the Day of Silence. … The Coming Out Monologues would represent the act of breaking the silence after sundown.”

Lacey notes: “They’re original scripts submitted by the students that had that experience. They (UCR) post them on the website for other universities to borrow and have other people perform them.

“Last year one of the staff members of the Office of Student Experience learned about (the UC Riverside project) and decided that we should put something like that on. It turned out really well, so we’re taking it on for a second year.”

Due to scheduling issues with the theatre on the U of C campus, Calgary’s Coming Out Monologues won’t be so closely aligned with the ending of The Day of Silence or Calgary’s Pride Week activities, but that won’t diminish the impact of the evening and it’s emotions.

It can be described as a live version of the It Gets Better series of videos, which also has a local contribution as mentioned prior: “The U of C decided to bring together a bunch of the queer community from the University and make some videos and post them to the website, as well as our own YouTube channel, just to show that the U of C is part of the fight, if you will.”

“The fun thing about the Monologues is they’re so diverse: some are about (the coming out) trauma being a really horrible experience, while others are, I came out to my Mom, and she didn’t seem surprised, and I was sort of disappointed.

Show me some emotion please, Mom! And there’s one about coming out kink. …It’s good to open people’s minds about all of the things that people struggle with coming out, and that includes coming out straight.”

And afterwards?

“We donate the money to Calgary Outlink, which is one of many LGBTQ identified organizations in the city. They hold groups and social groups for people across the spectrum.

It’s a safe space for queer-identified individuals throughout 42

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

the community, and currently our biggest group is our youth group, so it really identifies well with the University demographic.”

Not every one of us has a vagina, but many of us have a coming out experience that we can identify with. That’s why the Coming Out Monologues promises to be an evening that everyone can enjoy.

The Coming Out Monologues Thu Mar 17, 7:30pm Fri Mar 18, 7:30pm Boris Roubakine Theatre (University of Calgary, Craigie Hall B) Tickets: $10; purchase at U of C Ticket Centre, or at door. http://www.gaycalgary.com/a2112

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Letters to the Editor Dear GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine, I cannot tell you how excited I am as a transgendered person that the Opposition parties got together and voted to enshrine “transgender” (in a House of Commons vote) as a separate, protected rights category in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Hopefully Stephen Harper’s Senate will see the light and also pass this valuable legislation.

Graciously, Walter Dean Blake

Dear GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine, JASPER PRIDE - what an incredible weekend! Kudos to all those who made this weekend such a terrific success! I would like to say “thank you” to the sponsors: Mountain Park Lodges, Marmot Basin, Barefoot Wines, GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine, and so many more. Thank you to the volunteers... too many to list and you know who you are! And thank you to all who attended -well over a hundred and thirty I’m told. With absolutely awesome snow conditions and fabulous Alberta sunshine, it made for one crazy weekend party. Great events, great people! Jasper showed once again how welcome our community is, and I can hardly wait until Pride 2012!

Dr John E Gentles

http://www.gaycalgary.com/a2122

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GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

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GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

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Interview

Jeff Martin

Tea Party singer returns with new album and band

By Jason Clevett It’s bitterly cold in Calgary, and Jeff Martin is a long way away from his current home in Perth, Australia.

Comforted by a blazing fire and a Caesar in a downtown hotel restaurant, he brims with excitement in discussing his new band Jeff Martin 777 and their new album The Ground Cries Out. In town on a cross-Canada media tour before band-mates Malcolm Clark (drums) and Jay Cortex (bass/keyboards/everything else) join him for a concert tour, Martin opened up about the new band, his former band the Tea Party, and more.

“They are amazing musicians, very respected in Australia. I met Malcolm ten years ago backstage at a Tea Party concert. He was always a big fan and we became friends. I met Jay a little bit after the break up of the Tea Party. It is one of those things that was destined to come together, it was just a matter of time. It is a real joy because it is a confidence and familiarity that I haven’t felt since The Tea Party. We made this new record over the course of six months. There were a lot of breaks because we each had commitments but, we put [the album together in] an incredible studio in Perth and this is the result. It was a labour of love, I took my time doing it and making sure that I created a sound for this new band and brought their personalities to the forefront.

I am very proud to show off the new band in Canada. If I was going to come back here with a power trio it better be a damn good power trio!”

Martin returns to Calgary for the first time in three years. His previous visits have been solo shows, as well as a show immediately after the Tea Party breakup which featured a five-piece band in support of his album Exile In The Kingdom. Exile was a notably different sound from Martin’s Tea Party songs. The Ground Cries Out sees him return to an evolved version of the style he first gained fame for on early albums Splendor Solis and The Edges of Twilight.

“I have a lot of pride in being an artist. If I am going to put a new recording out I have to feel that it is better than what I have done in the past, that I am moving forward. I feel that way with this record. I am very proud of what I have achieve in the past with those big musical statements like Sister Awake and Temptation and all that - it is iconic, its lovely. I feel these 11 songs on this record stand up to anything I have done in the past. With Exile I tried a five piece band and I felt more constricted, it was almost suffocating. There are too many walls. In a three-piece, especially if the musicianship is up there every song will have its signpost, but how we get there, who knows. When you see the band play, the next night is totally different with a lot of jamming going on. That is what I found so appealing once again.”

The music Martin has created, both with The Tea Party and on his own, is incredibly versatile. Having been blended with full orchestras to being stripped down to a guitar and solo voice, the music resonates no matter what the form.

“As a producer and composer I can make the grand sonic landscapes but the true test of a great song is that you can take all those beautiful colours and textures away and bring it down to a voice and acoustic guitar. If you can, it is still a great song. That is in the back of my mind.

When I produce a song like The Ground Cries Out or The Cobra, I am going big, but am I going too big? Am I still able to bring it down to that and get the same intention across with simplicity? That is one thing I am still learning as a producer. I feel that I am getting wiser at doing it.”

The tour brings Jeff Martin 777 to Alberta for three shows – The Republik Nightclub on March 10th in Calgary, Airdrie’s Bert Church Theatre on March 11th and Festival Place in Sherwood Park, March 12th. Having played arenas and massive festivals, Martin is excited to bring the band to smaller venues and be up close and personal.

“There is a very distinct possibility that this band could get to the level the Tea Party was at, but I don’t want to get there to soon. I haven’t had a chance with a three-piece to play intimate venues like this for such a long time I remember how good it was to do it. I want to give to the fans that intimacy before it gets out of hand. Even with the Tea Party, I believe we had the ability. Even though we would get a few thousand people, we made it feel intimate somehow, some way. This is very special to be able to come back to Canada and tour this and it is an introduction for Canadian fans to Malcolm and Jay, and I want them to be close and really understand the musicianship of what is going on. I just want to make it grow organically. I would like to see this band come back to Canada another two times over the next two years. We have a

www.gaycalgary.com

 Photo by Kate Nutt lot of commitments and enthusiastic interest in Europe and Australia so there is a lot of touring to do. This record has legs - there are so many great songs on this record that we have the fortunate [dilemma] of what single do you choose? My goal for this record and band is for people to experience the same amount of joy and happiness out of it that we did making it. If that can be accomplished, I am a happy camper. ” Martin has long possessed an intense connection with fans. He often leads the audience in singing songs like Save Me. It is demonstrated by the look of bliss that crosses his face as his lyrics are sung back to him by the audience.

“It is a connection, symbiosis, the chord. When I first started off there were all these accusations about being like Jim Morrison. If you think about The Doors, Morrison couldn’t have been more detached from an audience - he didn’t care really and tried to piss them off. When I was a young man I was very insecure and quiet and people mistook that for arrogance. Fair enough. As you get more confidence and the insecurities slip away I realized that there is this beautiful connection, people are here for a reason and want to be a part of it. I started letting people in and the more I did that, the more rewarding the whole existence of being a performer onstage became. It is to the point now if I don’t get that connection it is disappointing. It seldom ever happens that way. It is the most important thing for me.”

Tea Party fans can expect songs from that extensive catalog, included in the set as well.

“The Tea Party - those songs are my life. It can’t be ignored, the music is beautiful. I look back at it as a fan. All of those things that I put myself through and where I went to make that music, I would be disrespecting myself if I didn’t play that music still. It is not going to sound the same.

It is a fresh, different approach because it is different personalities interpreting, but the song remains the same.”

Another long-standing tradition for Martin is that of including covers in the live show. While Daniel Lanois’ The Messenger and The Rolling Stones Paint It Black were recorded, songs like Nine Inch Nails’ Hurt, U2’s One, and Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah are just a few of the songs that have popped up.

“First and foremost its fun - rock n’ roll has to be fun. That would be the cornerstone now of what I am getting out of things. Also it gives people an insight into my psyche and where my inspiration comes from.

On this tour, the band does a wicked version of Love Will Tear Us Apart.

Joy Division and Ian Curtis was a massive influence on me when I was 13 years old. He made me want to write lyrics and explore the dark side of the psyche. That will be a song that is heard once in awhile. There are a few up my sleeve that you haven’t heard yet.”

There seems to be a strong connection between Australia and Canada, and many of their artists find success in the opposite country. Martin shared his thoughts on why that is.

“I think it is a case of a pride in identity. Canadians get a lot of flack for being in the shadow of Americans but, if you are actually here, there is a national pride and a vibrant music scene. It isn’t as cookie cutter here. There are the dangers of the Idol shows but that is the pop world, I don’t think of that as music. That is about fame, living the dream and all that stuff.”

“The Arcade Fire winning the Grammy for Album of the Year? How cool is that?! That gives someone hope about the music industry that

Continued 

GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

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 From Previous Page they would recognize such a talented bad. That is so far removed from your Jay-Z’s, Eminem, Lady Gaga. I don’t want to hear that stuff anymore I want to hear something with substance.

The Australian music culture is the same, they have a lot of pride and back their own. Because there are such similarities (between Australia and Canada), they mirror each other and in many ways have such a correlation and love going to each other’s countries. The Tea Party was the first Canadian rock band to really be embraced in Australia and opened a lot of doors for other Canadian bands. I was hanging out with The Trews in Perth on my birthday and they were treated so well. Canadian bands don’t want to leave when they go over there because it is paradise. The women are beautiful, the animals will kill you.”

His former bandmate, drummer Jeff Burrows (now a member of Crash Karma) announced that his son Nicholas and his band The Indecent had signed a record deal.

“I knew Jeff’s boys well, and Jeff was such a positive influence on them but never pushed them. They came to all the concerts and lived and breathed it, watching their Dad who is one of the greatest drummers in Canadian rock. I think it was more of a natural thing for Jeff’s kids to go into it. With my son Jango unfortunately the nature of my life and continuing to tour and record it is very much a gypsy life so I don’t see him as much as I would want to. He is very proud of me and thinks the world of his Dad as a rockstar but, it isn’t something he has lived and breathed like Jeff’s kids. I will encourage him if he has the interest, he has the genes for it. It is really up to him. He is still very young, he is six and I started playing guitar when I was seven or eight. Jango is following all the same trends and interests I had, like a fascination with electric trains and Speedracer. When I was seven my uncle showed me my first guitar chords and I took it from there - that was it for me. Maybe that will happen with him, maybe not.”

If Martin’s music is diverse, so are his fans. The crowd at Tea Party concerts included a wide assortment of ages, races, and sexualities.

Martin is proud of how much his music has appealed to so many people.

“It is a testament to the music and the audience. The attraction would always be that The Tea Party’s music, my music, the new band’s music, what lies underneath it all is integrity. It means something. It is sexy music and gays, lesbians, teens, 40 year-olds - there is a certain mindset that transcends that. People like sexy music. If you want to think about it with the chakras, when you think early Stones, Led Zepplin, you could feel the sexual chakra in the music. I have to hear that in what I am doing and if I don’t hear that, I am not putting it on the record.”

Jeff Martin 777 The Ground Cries Out now available. www.Jeffmartin777.com

 Editorial - From Page 6 Judging by the lack of comment from the community at large, I don’t think very many people actually noticed – which is good, because it means we succeeded in smoothing over this bump in the road for our readers and advertisers. But I volunteer this information here anyway, to make sure it is known we weren’t aiming to sweep it under the carpet for the sake of maintaining a front of perfection.

In our 7 years dealing with our printers, we have been very happy with the job that they do. We can easily forgive a rare hiccough like this when they are willing to work with us to correct the problem, to the satisfaction of our own customers.

Mistakes happen, both here and down the line, and we just have to deal with them. We do so out in the open, for the sake of remaining transparent to our readers and advertisers.

So in the end, despite having to deal with some unexpected adversity we got our February edition out in good time and with no apparent ill effect. Mistakes will always happen, but it’s the manner of responsibility in how we mitigate them that truly matters.

Drag Time For this column last month, at risk of sounding harsh, I wrote about the tedium of “Drag Time” and its erosive effect on the success and enjoyment of the community in social venues.

If this resonated with you, you are definitely not alone. In our travels, numerous people commended us for addressing this issue. We’ve already seen some event organizers take it to heart and push to start things on time. It doesn’t always happen, but the effort is appreciated.

February 2011 It doesn’t feel to me like a lot happened in the way of events last month, and yet I’m told we have quite a number of photos to publish.

One event that does stick out in my mind was Straight to Diva, deigned to be the final edition of the annual fundraising tradition. The two straight participants, who I mentioned last month to be Stepfather and Stepson, were joined by a contender from within the LGBT community (Straight-acting to Diva in his case). The competitors performed to a busy bar, to the disbelief of their wives, husband, and friends. In the end, the Stepfather won out, and the final fundraising total was just shy of $3000, with possible additions still pending. This went to Calgary’s HIV Peer Support group, and AIDS Calgary’s HEAT program.

The SHARP Foundation also celebrated a milestone last month – their 20th anniversary! The SHARP Foundation, which operates a number of local AIDS hospices, continues to be at the forefront of what they do. To mark this great achievement, they hosted an appreciation party for those who have contributed their time and effort to help their organization. They also took this opportunity to launch a snazzy new logo.

For those who miss the absence of the Calgary Networking Club, Club Sapien arranged a get-together for LGBT professionals last month with the hopes that someone among them will step forward to continue organizing future events independently. It had a fantastic turnout despite the nasty cold and icy roads, and was a great opportunity to meet and mingle with other business professionals. If this interests you, keep an eye out for future events.

Lastly, congratulations to Woodys, who celebrates their 9th anniversary this coming month.

On Tour March 10 – Republik – Calgary March 11 – Bert Church Theatre – Airdrie March 12 – Festival Place – Sherwood Park

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GayCalgary & Edmonton Magazine #89, March 2011

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Advice

Queeries

“Desperately Seeking Sex Online”

By Steven Petrow “Desperately Seeking Sex Online” Q: I need a bit of advice on my sex life. I’m 24 and my main goal at the moment is to have fun and sleep around. I’m not bad looking but I’m no model. Here’s the problem: Ever since I came out eight years ago, I feel like an oddball on the scene as I don’t know how to approach guys with the intention of it leading to sex.

My friends say I look very sweet and innocent and they think it can put guys off. I am on Gaydar and other sex websites that are only about hooking up, but I struggle about what to write and most of the messages I send go unanswered, or worse, I get a “no.”

I’d really like to hear what you’ve got to say.

A: Man, I really feel for you, especially since you’re reminding me of what dating and hookups were like for me when I first started playing around. Before I give you any advice, let me just say two things. First off, it’s great that you know what you’re looking for – in this case, sex. Less risk of wasting other people’s time, let alone your own. Second, if some guys aren’t turned on to you because you’re “sweet and innocent,” believe me they are going to be many more who just love those qualities in you.

To get to the nitty gritty, I think there are some other things you’re likely overlooking. Hooking up online is all about first impressions and that’s why you need to pay such close attention to your screen name, profile, and photos that you post (and you must post pix). When it comes to a screen name, be explicit: BangUBud, SexyStoner, and Jeff11X7 put it on the line. For you, I might suggest: NastynNice – or some other handle that suggests there’s more to you than meets the eye. Then, you also need to be clear in your profile about what you want. Here are some highly specific ones I found online: “I’m most attracted to younger, masculine bottoms.” “Definitely not a vanilla type of guy” or “Poz seeks same.”

One of the great advantages of hooking up online is the ability to put out there what you want – and, often, get it.

Next: Your photos. Sometimes I visit sex pickup sites and I see a handsome guy but he looks like he just came from work. You need to show some skin! Or he’s a perfect ectomorph and has unwisely chosen BigMuscle.com as his hookup site. Choose a site that’s going to work for who you are and who you’re seeking. Last point: You need to be explicit in your photos although it’s your choice whether that extends to full-frontal nudity; remember what you put up online stays online – potentially forever.

Finally: Bear in mind that many – if not most – guys don’t get responses back. Don’t take it to heart; it’s simply the way of the Internet.

Before you sit down and talk with them, I suggest doing some research into your grandparents’ likely beliefs on this subject so that you can be prepared. Certainly, not all religious folk are homophobic, especially when it comes to a family member.

But if that’s what you’re facing, take aim against that muchquoted Leviticus argument against homosexuality: “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination,” which is frequently translated by Christian fundamentalists to: “Homosexuality is absolutely forbidden, for it is an enormous sin.” A good reply to this argument is to point out that Leviticus also says that shaving and eating pork are abominations – and supports the idea of owning slaves.

Whichever way the discussion goes, I would definitely be careful to avoid getting into an argument. Fights generally produce more fire than light. Do your best to remain patient and respectful, speak from your heart, and be prepared to walk away if necessary. And definitely don’t expect to actually change your grandparents’ views on bisexuality - at least not right away.

Steven Petrow [www.gaymanners.com) is the author of “The Essential Book of Gay Manners & Etiquette” and a regular contributor to Huffington Post and GayWeddings.com. Send him your questions: ask@gaymanners.com

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“Grandma, I’m bi” Q: I’m a bi woman, and my current boyfriend knows it – and it’s not a big deal to him. My grandparents however, don’t know yet and I want to tell them. They’re very loving but deeply religious. However, they deserve to know the truth since they took ten years raising me when they didn’t have to. How do I tell them that I like men and women equally without worrying about how they’ll react to the news?

A: I think it’s great that you want to share your truth with your grandparents (even though being in a relationship with an opposite-sex partner means you’re don’t have to) and that you’re so considerate of their feelings. Most of the time, respect begets respect (if not acceptance). Of course, coming out to one’s family as bi – or gay or transgender for that matter – is often a big step and telling your religious relatives could put your knickers in a twist (it would make me want to reach for an Ativan.) www.gaycalgary.com

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Oh Boy!

’80s pop icon on getting clean, having a kid and why he’s an “alien”

By Chris Azzopardi A lot has been written about Boy George in the last 10 years, but not much of it’s pointed to what made the icon a pop phenomenon. Drugs, jail and an escort runin are what kept the not-so-boyish star in the headlines, completely overshadowing his influence on music. That’s changing, however, with his first album in a decade, Ordinary Alien, and an upcoming Culture Club reunion in 2012.

But the 49-year-old doesn’t ignore his past, and in our interview he chatted about having an “underlying desire to be sane,” how the LGBT community is to blame for its image and why he won’t be the next gay celebrity to adopt a baby.

GC&E: How are you, Boy George?

BG: Lovely, thank you.

GC&E: Does the title Ordinary Alien have anything to do with being gay?

BG: Maybe. It’s based on the fact that there’s so much written about me that’s either untrue, partly untrue or not quite true. (Laughs) In a way, what I’m saying is I know that I’m odd – and yet there’s a part of me that’s kind of quite ordinary. It’s important to have both. When it comes to practical things in life, being a bit ordinary is very useful.

GC&E: Otherwise, you’re an alien?

BG: I’m definitely the alien. But I’m the kind of alien you can bring home to meet your mother.

GC&E: Gay men everywhere are taking note right now.

BG: Are aliens popular in the gay community? (Laughs) GC&E: How does it feel knowing you paved the way for other queer performers?

BG: Everything is part of a kind of “daisy chain.” When I was growing up, there were a lot of characters on TV who were obviously gay and camp and playing with the boundaries, and I think all of those people shaped who I am. So, I think everything comes from somewhere.

Even though David Bowie wasn’t necessarily gay, I think that he had a huge influence on me as a kid. When you’re a kid you don’t really have many reference points. There are more now, but not back then in the ’70s when I came out to my family. I was 15, so the process of coming out to the people that I love started a long time before it became something I had to do publicly, and people still have very wrong ideas of what it is to be a gay man or a gay woman.

GC&E: How so?

BG: People just think of you as a sexual being; they don’t realize that you have pets and bills and jobs and families. They just don’t understand that. And I think we as gay people don’t really do much to help ourselves in that department. If you look at any gay magazine, it’s all nipple rings and butts. So I think people don’t understand; they just look at everything you do as a kind of sexual thing and they don’t see beyond that, and that’s a shame.

GC&E: Why do you think we’re looked at as sexual deviants?

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BG: For a lot of us, the first time we have any sense of who we are is when we have sex with another man or another woman. That’s when we’re defined, and so it’s no wonder that there’s a kind of strong physical element tied to gay culture.

It’s sad in a way, because even if you’re a straight kid and you don’t have demonstrative parents and you don’t have a good family life, at least you have lots of social references. So you have an idea of how things work. But when you’re gay, who tells you? There’s this attitude that if you talk about it you encourage it, so even if a parent knows their kid is gay they just don’t really talk about it; they just hope it goes away, and of course it rarely does.

GC&E: You’re a living example that it doesn’t just go away.

BG: Absolutely! But you know, I’m very lucky. I’ve always had the support of my family. My dad is dead now, but my dad was amazing when I came out. I was really surprised by his reaction. I thought I was going to be killed, and my dad was great. So families can be so surprising, and people can be equally ignorant but they can be also amazing.

GC&E: You were pushing all sorts of boundaries with style and gender in the ’80s. Do you think newer artists are pushing far enough for social change with their art?

BG: Anybody who brightens the horizon has my support. It’s difficult for someone like Lady Gaga because she’s a woman and she’s straight, I think. I don’t know her well enough, but I think it’s wonderful that she’s supportive of gay people and that’s to be applauded. Sometimes I read about different people, like Justin Bieber, and think, “Oh my god.”

(Laughs) So I think people like Gaga are a blessing and they must be applauded for their support – because it’s not always the case.

GC&E: Both Gaga and Adam have referenced you as one of their idols.

If you were them, would you look up to yourself?

BG: That’s a very difficult question. (Laughs) I think now I would, because at this point in my life I feel very positive and optimistic and I think I want to inspire people. That’s where I am right now, and that’s what I wanted to do when I started. There’s been distractions along the way, but I feel right now that I have a responsibility in a way to kind of be inspiring and, yes, maybe I would look up to myself now. Not always, but I think now is probably a good time. (Laughs) GC&E: When wouldn’t you have looked up to yourself?

BG: (Laughs) They’ve all been pretty well-documented. I don’t think I need to point them out. But on my current record, a lot of people have said that the record’s really optimistic and quite joyful and has a certain kind of serenity, and I think that’s always been part of me. I’ve always had a strong sense of optimism. Yes, I’ve been terribly self-destructive at points in my life, but there’s always been this underlying desire to be sane. At the moment I’d say that’s winning out, and that’s a good thing.

GC&E: How do you feel now that you’ve kicked your drug addiction?

BG: The difference in me as a person, it’s phenomenal, and that’s reflected in the way people treat me and the way I communicate. People used to withdraw from me when I was an addict.

GC&E: What are some of your healthier addictions?

BG: I eat pretty well. I’m pretty healthy. I exercise a lot now. I’ve given up the smoking, which is really the last vice. Things are really positive at the moment, and that’s such a relief, really. I go to NA, and it’s had a very, very powerful effect on me. It’s renewed my faith in humanity, and I think having a spiritual program is really useful.

I pray every night and every morning, and even if I’m only speaking to myself, I think it’s a really healthy thing – to just have that moment in your day where you just say something positive about yourself and about the world.

GC&E: All these gay men – Ricky Martin, Clay Aiken, Neil Patrick Harris and now Elton John – are raising kids. Do you feel the urge to have a boy George?

BG: I don’t personally feel the urge, but I think if it’s something you really desire then that’s fine. I think it’s totally acceptable. My mother’s generation really raised their kids on their own. My father was like a lot of men: He was never around, and he really left the child-rearing to my mother.

It’s a life-changing thing, and I was really amazed, because I’m friends with Elton, and I didn’t know at all that he was doing that. (Laughs) But it’s something he’s always wanted.

GC&E: So you’re not interested?

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BG: I’m not maternal, no. I have two dogs, and one of them is very needy. (Laughs) It’s not something you take lightly. I know that Elton will have a lot of help, but still, it’s a big emotional investment. And I’m not one of those people who think gay people shouldn’t have kids. I also think you don’t make a child gay by raising it. My parents were straight, my brothers are all straight, we all drank the same water, ate the same food. People need to realize that’s not how it works. (Laughs) GC&E: Tell me about the Culture Club reunion.

BG: We’re going to do a big showcase in October to announce what we’re doing and hopefully around that time we’ll start recording or writing, and in 2012 we’re going to celebrate our 30th anniversary and do a huge tour and hopefully come to America... if they’ll let me in. At the moment I’m banned, so I’m hoping. I’ve got people working on that right now. It’s really important that we play America; it’s going to be amazing.

GC&E: It’s been a long time since you have.

BG: Speak to Obama for me. Have a word. I mean, he’s guesting on my album (on “Yes We Can”), so I’m sure he’ll be cool. (Laughs) GC&E: What inspired the 30th anniversary reunion?

BG: We did something about 13 years ago, which was quite random but it was a lot of fun at the time. But we get along better now. We’re all a bit more grown up and quite focused. And a lot of it is me. If I’m in a good space it really affects everybody around me. I have a really good relationship with the guys in the band now. I’m really good friends with Jon (Moss) now. There was a long time when everything about him used to drive me crazy, as it does with ex-partners. It’s all about growing up.

difficult and I hope that with age they become easier. I mean, I’m not in a relationship right now.

GC&E: You’re not interested in one either, are you?

BG: No, I’m not really looking. I’ve never really been someone who needs a partner. If somebody amazing comes along and blows me away, then great, I’m open to it. But I’m not going to put up with anything.

I’m not one of those people who needs to be involved; I need to be with someone that I –particularly at this stage in my life – kind of really respect and someone that’s not really overly concerned with what I do and someone who can really cope with the baggage that comes with being me, even though a lot of it is kind of imagined.

People who don’t know me read a lot of crap about me and they base their kind of idea of me on what they’ve read, and sometimes that can be a good thing – because people are always saying to me, “You’re nothing like I thought you’d be.” I don’t know what people expect, but I guess that’s one of the ills of being in the public eye and having so many contradictory things written about yourself.

GC&E: You’ve said you’re finally growing up, and I’m wondering if it’s enough to warrant a name change – Boy George to Man George?

BG: (Laughs) I don’t think I’ll ever escape that moniker, and I’m not the up-my-own-ass-I’m-gonna-change-my-name-in-a-bid-to-be-takenseriously type. Boy George is a stage name and it suits me, and I think it’s just gonna stick. (Laughs) Let’s not complicate things by changing my name.

GC&E: Your relationship with Jon caused a lot of tension in the group. Speaking from experience, do you have any advice for inter-office romances?

BG: (Laughs) Oh my god! Well, no, I don’t actually. I don’t think I’m qualified to give relationship advice to anyone. Advice is very easy to give, but it’s not so easy to put into practice. A lot of my friends come to me and cry on my shoulder and I’m very good at telling them what they’re doing wrong, but then when you try to apply it to yourself, it’s a lot harder. I think relationships – whether they’re gay or straight – are very

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Product Review

SmartSilk

Hypoallergenic Bedding

By Rob Diaz-Marino Apparently I should be more careful about “who” I bring to bed with me. I found out that every time you climb under the covers of the average bed, you’re getting in with millions of dust mytes, dead skin particles and hair that have shed naturally from your body - and that of your pets - nights prior; if you’re unlucky enough, perhaps you even have bedbugs lurking about. Worse, when you wrap yourself in your sheets or bury your face in your pillow (for whatever reason), you’re breathing all of this stuff in!

In my household we have 3 cats that curl up with us every night, and we’re pretty furry creatures ourselves. So perhaps it’s no wonder that I have often woken up feeling congested, or with my eyes and sinuses irritated – like summertime allergies in the dead of winter.

Several months ago we received a set of bed sheets from SmartSilk to try for ourselves. SmartSilk boasts many benefits to their products, especially for asthmatics who are particularly sensitive – both to the allergens normally found in beds, and even the material that some bedding is made out of.

How does it protect you from the aforementioned under-cover nasties?

SmartSilk outlines that their sheets act as a barrier against dust mites and pet dander, as well as repelling bedbugs. Other mentioned benefits of the special material include: mold and mildew resistance, moisture wicking properties that potentially reduce night sweats, odour resistance, and fire retardance to boot. And for such a unique material, you might be surprised to know that it is machine washable and dryable.

We tried it out for ourselves. The SmartSilk mattress pad, pillow protectors, and duvet went under our own fitted sheet, pillow cases, and duvet cover. The SmartSilk duvet is pretty thin for our cold Canadian winters, so we needed to put a few more blankets on top – however the duvet remained between us and the rest of the non-SmartSilk blankets.

My first night sleeping with these sheets wasn’t as satisfactory as I had hoped. The weight and flexibility of the duvet took some getting used to, and I found that the pillow protectors cause something of a rustling noise whenever I rolled over.

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Nevertheless, I quickly got used to this and for the past two months I have been waking up in the morning without the irritated eyes or the stuffy nose. In fact, I honestly plan to continue using the SmartSilk bedding, even after this review is done and published.

The only drawback for others who want to get their hands on this product, may be that the price is a little steep for some.

For our Queen sized bed, the mattress pad would go for $275, the pillow protectors for $40, and the duvet for $350. The full bedding set (including pillows) goes for just under $650.

So SmartSilk provides a quality product that solves or reduces a number of health problems that can exist with conventional bedding. If you have the money to spend, and are concerned or affected by some of these health issues, then I’m certain these sheets are well worth the investment.

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Photography Team Edmonton Mixer, Edmonton

Oscar Party at the Backlot, Calgary

Winter Wonderland at the Junction, Edmonton

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Photography Jasper Pride - Photos courtesy Rob Brown Photography of Jasper (www.lightchaser.ca) and Dallas Barnes

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Photography Sharp Foundation 20th Anniversary, Calgary

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Photography MiscYouth at Quincy’s - Calgary

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Bustloose Gay Pub Crawl at the Backlot, Club Sapien and Twisted Element - Calgary

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Photography Calgary Eagle Anniversary

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