Brooding Roosters By Shridhar Sadasivan In English: Nadhiya Mali ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is seven in the morning. There is no need to rush since it is a Saturday. Kumar and the kids were sleeping. I woke up quietly, made coffee in the microwave and turned on the computer. Mom and Dad would be waiting for me on the Internet. They won’t skip chatting with their only daughter, for anything. “We have married you off and now you are thousands of miles away. Thanks to the Internet, at least we get to see you and the kids. ” Mom is always happy to see us via the Internet. Mom and Dad both claim one is better than the other in operating the computer. Once I logged in, Dad’s video message popped up. “Hi! Gayathri, How are you?” “Hello Appa*, I am fine.” “How is the new house?” Mom asked. “Very nice Amma*. We haven’t unpacked all the boxes yet, it is going to be another week before we are all done.” “Take your time Gayathri. What is the rush? Between your job and the kids, there is only so much you can do. Had you been in India, Appa and I would have helped you out. Look at you, all by yourself, struggling with everything. Hmmm…” Mom sighed. “Oh Amma! Not that again. Relax. Kumar helps, it is not that bad.” I smiled. “Good. What are the plans for the weekend? The party is tomorrow, right?” asked Dad. “Yes. We have invited all the neighbours. It is a good opportunity to get to know them.” “Even the ones from the opposite house?” Mom got nervous. “No Amma, we haven’t invited them.” “Thank goodness. I got a little worried. The last thing we need is those weirdos in your house! Stay away from them.” Moms can never stop giving advice. People from India think life in America is so perfect. “Look at you. You live in America!” I have heard from many of my relatives. But life in America has its own share of problems. On one hand, -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------* “Appa” is Father, “Amma” is Mother in Tamil. Page 1 of 8
Brooding Roosters By Shridhar Sadasivan In English: Nadhiya Mali ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
our lives in the U.S. are comfortable and peaceful. We have well-paying jobs, nice cars, big houses, pollution-free air, clean water, and smooth roads. On the other hand there are many cultural shocks, especially for people from the East. Dating at an early age, pre-marital sex, teenage pregnancy, single moms, divorces. The list continues. One has to turn a blind eye to a lot of these things. It’s not easy to bring up kids in this culture, which is drastically different from ours. When the kid next door goes out on a date, you wonder if your kid is next! To add to this, there are these man-man, woman-woman relationships that are quite common here. I don’t blame Mom when she sulks, “Shiva, Shiva! What has the world come to.” Last week when we moved in to this new place, the first person to welcome us from the neighbourhood was Raghu, who lives right across the street. “ Nalvaravu,” (Welcome) smiled Raghu, with coffee and a basket filled with fruits and muffins. Kumar and I were very excited to know that an Indian, that too a Tamilian is living so close to us. “Where are you from, Raghu?” asked Kumar. “I grew up in New Jersey,” replied Raghu. “My parents are originally from Chennai.” “Oh! Nice. Do they live with you here?” I asked. “Oh No! It is just me, my partner Rob and our daughter Kamala.” “Rob??” I got confused. “Yes. Rob. Robinson” “…….” “Rob is very fond of Indians. He will be happy to meet you. Why don’t you guys have dinner with us tonight?” Raghu was all excited. Kumar and I didn’t know what to say. We weren’t expecting this. We went blank. After few seconds, we gathered ourselves and responded, “ Oh OK. Maybe some other time, we have so much to do today.” When we first came to this country and met gay people like Raghu, we were thoroughly disgusted. What is this? How is this even possible? It was completely beyond our comprehension. A man with another man. A woman with another woman. The very thought freaked us out. We had our own -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------* “Appa” is Father, “Amma” is Mother in Tamil. Page 2 of 8
Brooding Roosters By Shridhar Sadasivan In English: Nadhiya Mali ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
doubts whether people like Raghu were actually psychopaths or even retarded. And then we came across more such people in our daily lives and at work. Slowly we realised that these people are not psychos or retarded. But still, who wants a gay person as their neighbour? To make it worse, now there is such a couple, with a kid, living right across us. “I wish we had known about this earlier, we wouldn’t have bought a house here.” Kumar was clearly annoyed. “Relax Kumar. Don’t get worked up. Let’s just ignore them,” I calmed him down. Kumar casually mentioned the situation to my Mom and now she is all concerned. “Don’t send your kids to their house. Make sure Swathi doesn’t get buddybuddy with their daughter,” Mom has warned me a hundred times. I hear her concerns. There is no reason for us to mingle with Raghu and Rob. Why unnecessarily invite trouble? Even for today’s housewarming party, we didn’t invite them. The party was a big success. All our neighbours were in attendance. We had a great time, talking, eating and getting to know each other. Indian food turned out to be everybody’s favourite. “Mrs. Kumar, yummy samosas,” Andrea couldn’t get enough. “You have a lovely daughter,” Mark was all praises. Two Indian families, four American families, one Chinese family, it was a pretty interesting and diverse bunch. “Did you meet Rob and Raghu? They live right across the street.” To my discomfort, Andrea started talking about Rob and Raghu. She went on and on. “You could have invited them too. They are a lovely couple. Very warm, friendly and very helpful. Rob is an award-winning writer. Raghu is a computer engineer. Their daughter Kamala is a sweet kid, A-grade student. She is black, but still speaks Tamil. She is also trained in Indian classical dance and music.” -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------* “Appa” is Father, “Amma” is Mother in Tamil. Page 3 of 8
Brooding Roosters By Shridhar Sadasivan In English: Nadhiya Mali ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I pretended to listen with interest and then quickly excused myself. “Excuse me. Kumar is calling, I will be right back.” It was easy to avoid Andrea, but it wasn’t really easy to avoid the couple living right across the street. Rob and Raghu attempted to talk to us whenever we stepped out of the house. We ran into them in the stores most weekends. With all these hardships, we still managed to avoid them for the past two months. Their daughter Kamala and Swathi go to the same school. Raghu once came to our house asking if Swathi and Kamala can work on their school project together. Kumar promptly avoided that by saying Swathi already had a project partner. We just couldn’t bring ourselves to mingle with them. We felt very awkward and uncomfortable. Kumar kept saying, “Gayathri, don’t let Swathi mingle with their kid, please.” It was a Friday evening. I was watching T.V and Kumar had not yet come home from work. Swathi was at her dance class after school. I heard a noise at the door. I turned off the TV and went to the door. “Mrs. Kumar, How are you? I am really sorry to bother you. I need your help,” Raghu was all nervous and sweating. “..........” “Rob was in an accident on his way back from work. I just received a call,” his voice was shaking. “What? Is he okay?” I was shocked. “I don’t know. I am rushing to the hospital. Kamla is not home from school. Can you please pick her up from the bus and keep her at your place until I return? Andrea is out of town, or else I would not have bothered you,” Raghu pleaded. “Sure. Of course,” I didn’t hesitate. “Thank you Mrs. Kumar.” “No Problem, I hope he is okay,” I said. “I hope so too.” Raghu was in tears by then. I picked up Kamla from the school bus. She was curious why I was picking her up instead of Raghu. I did not have the heart to tell her the truth. How -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------* “Appa” is Father, “Amma” is Mother in Tamil. Page 4 of 8
Brooding Roosters By Shridhar Sadasivan In English: Nadhiya Mali ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
could I tell this 8-year old about the accident? I told her Raghu got a call from work and had to go back to the office. I offered her some snacks, but she politely refused and said she wasn’t hungry. Swathi returned in a few minutes and the three of us sat down in our yard. “You have a lovely house Mrs. Kumar,” said Kamala “You know, I can speak Tamil.” “Really? Wow!” “Yes. Appa speaks Tamil at home. Daddy also knows a bit.” “Appa? Daddy?” I was lost. “ Oh I know. It’s confusing. Raghu is my Appa, Rob is my Daddy.” With all her innocence Kamala was excited that she got a chance to tell me something I didn’t know. I felt very awkward. Oh lord! How confusing! This child should be talking about her Mom and Dad. I felt very bad for her. “What? Two daddies?” Swathi started laughing. “Swathi, stop it.” I raised my voice. “Yes. I have two daddies,” Kamala replied, but Swathi wouldn’t stop. “So you don’t have a mummy?” “Yes. I don’t have a mummy but I have two daddies instead.” Swathi’s laugh got louder. “ I don’t want my mummy. I have two daddies and they both love me,” added Kamala. From her tone I could tell this is not the first time she is explaining this to someone, she was very patient for her age. Kamala then opened her school bag and took out a scrapbook. “Mrs. Kumar, this is my school project.” She handed it over to me. The book was titled ‘My Family’ and had her drawings, her notes and some photographs. “Nice Kamala.” I opened it with interest. “Let me show you.” She turned the first page. The picture there was quite disturbing. I was shocked to see a skinny infant with drooping eyes, dried lips, wrapped up in a blanket and dumped in a trashcan.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------* “Appa” is Father, “Amma” is Mother in Tamil. Page 5 of 8
Brooding Roosters By Shridhar Sadasivan In English: Nadhiya Mali ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“This is my first picture Mrs. Kumar. This was in Martinique Island. My mom dumped me as soon as I was born, she was very poor.” “What?” I had no words. “Yes” Kamala turned to the next page. “See. This is when I was a year old. When Raghu Appa came to Martinique to adopt me.” There was a picture of Raghu in an office with a black woman signing papers. Kamala moved on to the next picture. “This was my first picture with my Appa and Daddy.” In the picture, Raghu was holding one-year-old Kamala in his hands; standing next to them was Rob looking at Kamala and smiling. They both looked extremely happy. “What a beautiful photograph!” I said to myself. Thank God Raghu and Rob adopted this kid. I can’t imagine what would have happened to her if they had not. Kamala kept turning pages, explaining every picture and every note that she had written about her family: her first birthday, Raghu’s parents, Rob’s sister, her first day at school, the surprise party Rob and her threw for Raghu’s birthday, pictures from their trip to Disneyland. She spoke non-stop about both of them, referring to them as "Appa" and "Daddy". I was listening to her, but was getting worried. What is going on with Rob? Is he okay? Is he in a serious condition? Is something bad going to happen? Oh my God! If there is a bad news how is this child going to take it? My phone rang. It was Raghu. "Mrs. Kumar, Is Kamala with you?" "Yes. She is with me. How is Rob?" I was anxious. "Severe head injury, he has lost lot of blood. They are going to perform emergency surgery, Mrs. Kumar." Raghu's voice broke as he spoke. "Gosh! A surgery?" I felt terrible. Kamala gathered that something was wrong. "Appa? Is that Appa?” She came running to me. "I want to talk to Appa" I couldn't say no; I gave the phone to her.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------* “Appa” is Father, “Amma” is Mother in Tamil. Page 6 of 8
Brooding Roosters By Shridhar Sadasivan In English: Nadhiya Mali ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Appa. What happened?" Raghu's broken voice scared her and she started shaking. I bowed down and hugged her. She continued talking to Raghu and broke down with a huge cry. "Daddy, I want to see my Daddy,” she screamed in tears. I took the phone from her and told Raghu that we are coming to the hospital immediately. I called Kumar and asked him to rush to the hospital as well. I hopped into the car with the kids. God, please … I beg you…. Don’t let something horrible happen … Please. Kumar was there before me. We both ran into the hospital with the kids. There was Raghu sitting outside the emergency room, totally devastated. Kamala spotted him and ran towards him "Appa!" Raghu hugged her and started consoling her. "Don’t cry Kamala, don’t cry. Daddy will be fine," he said. Kumar and I walked to Raghu and stood next to him. We were at a total loss for words. Raghu held Kumar's hand and broke down. "He is going into surgery right now. They will let only immediate family visit him. They are not letting me visit him." "What?" I was perplexed. "Yes. Mrs. Kumar. Kamala and I are not legally related to Rob,” said Raghu in a defeated voice. "What rubbish!" I was provoked. Kumar was surprised by my reactions, but managed not to express it. "He'll be fine, don’t lose hope," he consoled Raghu. I was in a state of shock, anger and confusion. How could they not allow Raghu to visit Rob? Just because we don’t understand their relationship doesn’t mean the relationship doesn’t exist. If an eight-year-old can understand their relationship, why can’t we? Something occurred to me right then. When we see same-sex couples we always see them as two people of the same gender that have sex. We fail to see their full relationship. We don’t think beyond sex. They are humans too. They are like all of us. They have the same feelings we do. Why do we -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------* “Appa” is Father, “Amma” is Mother in Tamil. Page 7 of 8
Brooding Roosters By Shridhar Sadasivan In English: Nadhiya Mali ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
never think of this? What they do in their bedroom is not our business. And how stupid and narrow-minded of us to judge them based on what they do in bed. What is a family? A father, mother and child? No, it is a union of people, union of love, affection, sharing and caring. What's wrong with a family of two fathers? Look at Raghu, He embraces Kamala and showers his love on her, doesn’t he have motherly qualities? Is he not a good parent? Look at him now standing outside the emergency room totally devastated by Rob’s accident. Doesn’t he love Rob? How can I limit their relationship just to sex and not view it in totality? If what they have as a family brings them love, joy and happiness, who are we to judge and ostracise them? And above all, in what way is my family better than their family? After two months… It is seven in the morning. There is no need to rush since it is a Saturday. Kumar and the kids were sleeping. I woke up quietly, made coffee in the microwave and turned on the computer. Dad pinged as soon as I logged in. "Hey Gayathri, how are you?" "Hello Appa, I’m fine.” "What are your plans for the weekend?" asked Mom. "Rob is returning home from the hospital today. Kumar, Swathi, Raghu and Kamala are bringing him home at noon. I have invited all of them for lunch today." I smiled.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------* “Appa” is Father, “Amma” is Mother in Tamil. Page 8 of 8