The Woman Leader - Edition 2

N500

THE

Woman Leader w w w . t h e w o m a n l e a d e r . o r g

You are perfectly positioned How to reduce belly fat How to profit from inflation

How I measure True wealth

—Mrs. Folorunso Alakija The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2, 2013

Contents

The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2, 2013

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Breast Cancer: Symptoms, Causes and Treatment

From the Editor You Are Perfectly Positioned Handling Emotional Affairs Breast Cancer: Symptoms, Causes and Treatment How I Measure True Wealth —Mrs. Folorunso Alakija How to Profit from Inflation Treading on Treacherous Ground Timeless Counsel for Youths

8 10 14 18 23 34 36 39

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Waxing & Waning 3

Contents 48 Home Made Chocolate Cakes…Yum Yum

56 Staying Fit: How to reduce belly fat Discovering Your Personal Style Reading List Home Made Chocolate Cakes…

Yum Yum 7 Tips for Flawless a Skin Waxing & Waning Staying Fit: How to reduce belly fat Frame your family with the Word…

Lessons from Psalm 112!

3 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Children Call to Action

42 46 48 50 52 56 58 60 69

60 3 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Children

Copyright ©2013. All rights reserved. The Woman Leader Magazine is a quarterly publication by The Woman Leader Outreach, Lagos.

All comments, opinions, enquiries and advert requests should please be directed to: The Editor, The Woman Leader, 12 Industrial Estate Road, Off Town Planning Way, Ilupeju, Lagos.

E-mail: editor@thewomanleader.org Tel: +234-813 893 8495

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The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

About The Woman Leader PUBLISHERS Pastors Taiwo & Nomthi Odukoya

A vision of Pastor Taiwo Odukoya with a mission To equip and challenge women to arise into their position of leadership and to be catalysts for change in Christ. ~Mode~ To connect and share wisdom with others and build a community of learning and friendship through physical and internet interactions. ~Areas Of Focus~ To help women explore and understand their true values, strengths, goals and dreams.  Appreciate and leverage on her strengths and achievements to move forward whilst lifting others up.  Demonstrate her courage and confidence to act and lead.  Plan and pursue her unique life, ministry and career path.  Create a work/life balance that is right for you and your family.  Explore and integrate her spirituality and the power of positive attitude.

Vol 1/Issue 2 2013 The Woman Leader

EDITORIAL Mrs ‘Detoun Ogwo Sylvester Ojenagbon Efe Paul Azino Tochi Eze CONTRIBUTORS Pastor Nomthi Odukoya Pastor Ronke Aladesuru Mrs. Yewande Zaccheus Dr. Chinyere Okoro Bunmi Alaga Tara Fela-Durotoye Darlene Tunde-Olofin Mr. Muktar Mohammed PHOTOGRAPHY Femi Adenrele, PHD Photos DESIGN Tonye Edet Working Committee Pastor Nomthi Odukoya Pastor Ronke Aladesuru Pastor Ibukun Awosika Pastor Tosin Sowemimo Pastor Mrs. Jane Pela Mrs. Yinka Morgan Hon. Amb. Folake Bello Mrs. Yewande Zaccheus Mrs. Adeola Azeez Mrs. Olamide Balogun Mrs. Julia Jack Mrs. Shirley Okharedia Mrs. Lai Koiki Mrs. Subu Giwa-Amu 5

Contributors Pastor Nomthi Odukoya

Nomthi Odukoya is an educationist and life coach with a Masters degree in global human resource management.

The co-pastor of The Fountain of Life Church, Lagos, Nigeria, she believes in the hope of a better tomorrow though life has its challenges.

She lives in Lagos, Nigeria with her husband and children.

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Yewande Zaccheaus

is the CEO and owner of Eventful Ltd, a leading events planning and consulting company. She makes her home in Lagos with her wonderful husband and they are blessed with two children.

Bunmi Alaga

is an author, youth counsellor and health fitness consultant.

Darlene Tunde-Olofin

has a BA in History and International Relations from the University of Lagos. She is the creative director of Darlene Haute Innovations Limited, a Clothing and Costuming company. She is married and blessed with two adorable sons.

Detoun Ogwo

Detoun is the founding executive director /CEO of AGDC Employability & Enterprise, a social enterprise that prepares and upskills the Nigerian youth for the 21st century workplace.

With a career spanning over nearly two decades, she has functioned in the human capital and customer relationship divisions of several multinationals in Nigeria and the United Kingdom. Detoun is wife to Amechi Ogwo an Architect and mother to four lovely children.

The Woman Leader  Vol 1/Issue 2  2013

Tara Fela-Durotoye

is a Nigerian makeup artist and lawyer. A pioneer in the bridal makeup profession in Nigeria, She launched the first bridal directory in 1999, set up international standard makeup studio, and established the first makeup school in Nigeria.

Pastor Ronke Aladesuru

has a first degree in pharmacy and an MBA from The Lagos Business School.

She started her working career at PZ Industries PLC where she rose up to the position of Assistant General Manager before her voluntary retirement after 14 years of meritorious service.

She now runs her own business.

She serves as a Pastor in The Fountain of Life Church.

She is happily married to Olusoji Aladesuru and they are blessed with three wonderful children.

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Dr. Chinyere Okoro

Dr. Chinyere Okoro is a medical practictioner at Grace Springs medical center.

Muktar Mohammed

is an investment analyst and portfolio manager.

He is the MD/CEO of Asher dynamic solutions in Lagos.

He is married with children.

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From the Editor

W

elcome to the second edition of the Woman Leader magazine. We trust that you enjoyed our maiden edition. This one promises to be no less engaging.

We begin with a charge from Pastor Taiwo to seize whatever opportunity we get to change things for the better. At whatever level, in whatever circumstance, we are perfectly positioned to make a positive difference and so we should.

Then we move on to Pastor Nomthi’s article on the lure of an emotional affair: a seemingly innocuous ‘friendship’ which can evolve into something potentially dangerous if unchecked. We are not left out in the cold, however, because she gives practical insight into how to identify the signs and nip possible mishap in the bud.

Next we tackle money matters, this time discussing the ubiquitous phenomenon of inflation. Typically, it portends that what little money we do have never seems to be adequate to meet our many demands. However, we bring you a rather interesting perspective. Is it really possible to deliberately make money by studying rising prices and investing wisely in tradable commodities or instruments as a result?

Beauty may be only skin deep, but we would all love to have great skin at the very least, or wouldn’t you agree? So we have thrown in a few tips to help us along, some of which are really quite simple and inexpensive.

A rather hot topic with women these days is breast cancer. Despite increased awareness, quite a few of us would appreciate knowing a few facts and what steps to take to keep the scourge at bay, so we have included that as well. To complete the health and lifestyle section, we discuss physical fitness with a specific focus on belly fat, after which we go on to dressing to suit different body types.

In addition, as women we all know the effect that words can have – positive or negative – depending on what is said and how. So, are there some things we really should not be saying to our kids? Find out in this edition.

As with the first edition, we hope that many a woman will be inspired and encouraged to assume her place as the leader God designed her to be, colouring her world in the way only she can.

Happy reading!

Detoun Ogwo Editor

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The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

C o m i n g

S o o n !

THE WOMAN LEADER MENTORSHIP SCHEME WITH PASTORS TAIWO AND NOMTHI ODUKOYA

www.thewomanleader.org Follow Us: facebook.com/thewomanleader @thewomanleader1

T h e D e b o r a h M a n d at e

You Are Perfectly Positioned

By Pastor Taiwo Odukoya

I

t was December 1862; the American Civil War was at its peak. A vicious engagement between the Union and Confederate soldiers had left about 8,000 Union soldiers severely wounded at Marye’s Heights. Their painful cries rode on the wings of the wind and into the camp of the Confederates, who were forced to listen to them all through the night. One young officer couldn’t sleep, he had to do something.

The next morning, Richard Rowland Kirkland approached his commanding officer, 10

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T h e D e b o r a h M a n d at e

Brig. Gen. Joseph B. Kershaw, requesting to scale over the wall and provide water for the suffering Union troops. Reluctant at first, Gen. Kershaw permitted Kirkland.

However, when Kirkland asked if he could show a white handkerchief, General Kershaw refused. Kirkland responded, “All right, sir, I’ll take my chances.”

Kirkland gathered all the bottles he could carry, filled them with water, then ventured out onto the battlefield. For the next hour and a half, he went back and forth several times, giving the wounded Union soldiers water, warm clothing, and blankets. Soldiers from both the Union and Confederate armies watched as he performed his task, but no one fired a shot. It was a moment that temporarily stopped the Civil War. One man, in the face of human suffering, demonstrated a brazenly selfless act; Richard Rowland Kirkland, warmly remembered as the Angel of Marye’s Heights, demonstrated leadership.

It was Harry Truman who said, “Men make history and not the other way round.

In periods where there is no leadership, society stands still and progress only occurs when courageous leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better”.

At few moments in the history of humanity has the world been in such dire need of leadership as we do now. From the basic unit of the family to the towering heights of business and government, there are more problems than there are leaders with ready solutions to meet them. This

does not stem from the absence of offices and titles as it does from the absence of people with the integrity and competence to face the growing challenges of human existence.

A preponderance of opinion agrees with the truth that an office or a title does not make a leader. Leadership is influence.

And anybody, anywhere, can demonstrate it. Richard Rowland Kirkland did not need a position or a title to make a difference, he only ne e de d a commitment ; a commitment to meet the needs of others, a willingness to reach beyond self.

Leadership is important. Without it, nothing significant can be achieved. What we must refuse to do, however, is confine the demonstration of leadership to the occupation of seemingly lofty platforms and positions. At the heart of leadership

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Leadership is important.

Without it, nothing significant can be achieved. What we must refuse to do, however, is confine the demonstration of leadership to the occupation of seemingly lofty platforms and positions.

T h e D e b o r a h M a n d at e

is selflessness. People without a genuine desire and drive to help others, even at their own expense, cannot provide true leadership, regardless of the titles they bear. This has been the bane of our times. We have elevated men and women without the requisite character into positions of authority, while spending the bulk of our time lamenting their failures.

History is replete with the stories of men and women who without the trappings of offices and titles went ahead to make remarkable contributions to the world we live in. People who did not need recognition or public platforms to make an impact, people like Marie Curie.

Marie Curie was born in Warsaw, Poland on the 7th of November 1867, a period with limited opportunities for women to make a dif ference.

Her parents were teachers. After the Russian authorities abolished laboratory instruction in Polish schools, Marie’s father brought home his lab equipments and instructed his children in their uses.

Little Marie picked an elaborate interest in them; an interest that would grow to be of profound importance to the world.

In the late 1861, she left Poland for France. She took shelter with her sister and brother-in-law and proceeded to study physics, chemistry and mathematics at the University of Paris. She threw herself into her studies and went on to become the first female professor at the University of Paris. Then World War 1 broke out, and Marie Curie became surrounded by immense human suffering; suffering she 12

felt her research in radiology could help alleviate.

Marie threw herself into the field, providing medical assistance. “ We must act,” she would say, motivating her daughter Irène to follow suit. She felt that X-rays would help to locate shrapnel and bullets, and facilitate surgery, so she created X-ray vans, and went on to provide other medical equipments for hospitals. In 1903, she became the first woman to win the Nobel Prize; a prize she would go on to win multiple times.

She gave much of her first Nobel Prize money to friends, family, students and research associates. In an unusual decision, Marie intentionally refrained from patenting the radium-isolation process, so that the scientific community could do research unhindered. She insisted that monetary gifts and awards be given to the scientific institutions she was affiliated with rather than to herself.

She and her husband often refused awards and medals. Albert Einstein reportedly remarked that she was probably the only person who could not be corrupted by fame.

Marie Curie did not need a position to make a difference; she only needed a selfless heart. This is what leadership is made of, and history is strewn with women like her, women who from positions of seeming insignificance went on to become world shapers; women like Emmeline Pankhurst, who led the renowned Suffragette Movement that gave women the right to vote for the first The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

T h e D e b o r a h M a n d at e

time in 1919 and Rosa Parks whose single act of righteous defiance sparked a wave of non-violent protests in favour of African American rights.

Women, more than men, have a natural instinct for selflessness. This positions them for effective leadership, one that transcends positions and titles, one that has, and will continue to see, women from seemingly insignificant stations influence the world for good.

Namaan was a highly ranked Syrian General, but it took the influence and intervention of a servant girl to deliver him from the debilitating disease of leprosy.

Also, it took an obscure Jewish girl, Esther, rising to the heights of the Persian Empire, in one bold act of selflessness, to deliver an entire nation from annihilation.

The world is in desperate need of women like you, women who would harness their potential for selflessness and influence and go forth to make a difference. John Maxwell was right.

“People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Our depth of influence is commensurate to our selflessness. You have the advantage.

God has equipped you to nurture and to serve humanity with your gifts. This is all the more accentuated by your position in Christ Jesus. You are the light of the world, and its salt thereof. You have the power of God at work in you; you have a heart of compassion. Refuse to be drawn in by the prevailing propensity to grab, grab and grab, choose rather, to give of yourself for the benefit of others, even as God equips

you to do so. This is your moment. The world is ready for you. Are you ready for it? I am certain you are. Keep your focus on helping people, regardless of position or fame.

The truth is, no legacy can endure the test of time except as it is borne out of a genuine desire to help and empower others. All that you have has been given in order that you might be a blessing to someone out there. God will use anyone driven by the singular desire to help others, God will use you. You will fulfill your God ordained purpose. Only keep walking in the love and service of humanity. In the end, when the curtain of history is rolled back, history will remember that an angel walked the earth and changed her generation for good.

You will finish well in Jesus name. q

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The truth is, no legacy can endure the test of time except as it is borne out of a genuine desire to help and empower others. All that you have has been given in order that you might be a blessing to someone out there.

His & Her

Handling Emotional Affairs

By Pastor Nomthi Odukoya

M

an has the capacity to form and maintain relationships whether physical, spiritual and emotional. In particular, women are emotional and tend to bond emotionally with others before physical and/or spiritual relational bonds are formed.

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The Woman Leader  Vol 1/Issue 2  2013

His & Her

Emotional bonds are created and strengthened by communication. In other words, you will bond emotionally with those who you talk to regularly, and if it is the opposite sex, a physical bond can follow. This makes it imperative to guard your emotions. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart with all diligence because out of it stems the issues of life”.

Any unchecked communication breakdown between your spouse and yourself will leave you vulnerable to external influence. Most women only bond with a third person after being hurt or abandoned by their spouse. The trick of the devil is to create a gulf between you and your spouse so his antics can prevail.

Heed the instruction of the Bible, and don’t allow the sun go down on your anger (Ephesians 4:26). Resolve every issue and keep your friendship intact.

Emotional affairs are the most subtle and unassuming form of adultery; it occurs when two people take friendship to a deeper level but excludes any forms of sexual intimacy. Once you get close enough to someone to share your dreams, fears, hopes and aspirations, the friendship takes on a life of its own. An emotional affair does not depend only on the amount of time spent together but the experiences shared. The assumption is that “you are not sleeping with him; he is just your friend”. When you exchange sensual messages or you flirt with your colleague, you are being caught in a trap.

There is the delusion that because the relationship is not physical, it is not

harmful. The reality is, where a woman’s heart is, her body will eventually follow.

There are signs that indicate a woman is treading the path of an emotional affair, signs of such are: Going out of her way to attract his attention Changing her wardrobe or posture to induce compliments from him Being excited about spending time with him and concealing the amount of time spent together from her spouse Enjoying his company more than her spouse’s Wishing that he were her husband Turning to him to meet her emotional needs L o o k i n g t o h i m f o r w o r d s o f affirmation Neglecting her family to spend time with him Acting irritably towards her spouse and always ready to pick a fight Not answering certain calls in the presence of her spouse or deleting certain text messages from her phone If you observe any of the above, you could be in an emotional affair–pull back and put a stop to it.

The former G overnor of South Carolina(US), Mark Sanford, was once thought of as a potential presidential candidate – such was his appeal amongst voters. However, his political ambitions were ruined when it was discovered that he was engaged in an affair with an Argentinean journalist. When the affair was exposed, he stated that the

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His & Her

Emotional bonds can actually be more damaging than physical bonds because it involves deep connection, support and companionship that should be shared with your spouse.

If the emotional bond between a man and a woman is weakened, trust is hard to regain or rebuild. relationship with the woman in Argentina started innocently but then escalated.

If he had never formed a close private friendship with her, he would never have fallen sexually. It is not enough to say he is just my friend. Does your spouse know ‘your friend’ and the type of things you discuss?

Secrecy is the lifeline of such affairs.

Psychologists say that emotional affairs are now a common issue of discussion in couple’s therapy, as increasing numbers of people are cheating on their spouses emotionally rather than physically.

Emotional bonds can actually be more damaging than physical bonds because 16

it involves deep connection, support and companionship that should be shared with your spouse.

If the emotional bond between a man and a woman is weakened, trust is hard to regain or rebuild. Paula Hall, a psychotherapist at Relate says, “Emotional affairs can be as devastating as sexual infidelity.”

Here is how to deal with the affair: Confront your feeling and discuss it with your partner. Communication is very important.

P r a y a b o u t t h e t h r e a t e n i n g relationship– ask God to help you distance yourself emotionally from him.

Cut off all communication with the third party; this includes emails, phone calls, text and/or visits Set relationship boundaries in general, but especially with the opposite sex S e e a Couns ellor or Pa stor (if necessary) Do not blame the cause of the affair on your husband’s failure to meet your emotional needs; take responsibility for your action.

Your marriage is too important; it is just a matter of time before an emotional affair will mature into a sexual affair. Your body is the temple of God (1 Corinthians 6:19), so it is imperative that you guard it against everything that seeks to defile it; this includes your emotions. q

The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

H e a lt h P l u s

Breast Cancer: Symptoms, causes and treatment

By Dr. Chinyere Okoro

B

reast cancer is a malignant tumor that begins from cells in the breast.

There are several types of breast cancer and it can develop in any part of the breast most commonly the inner lining of the breast or the lobules.

Breast cancer accounts for 22.9% of all cancer in women, 100 times more in women than men.

Early detection and treatment is very important and have helped to improve the quality of life and reduce the number of breast cancer related death.

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Causes The exact cause of breast cancer is still unknown although researchers are working round the clock to unravel the medical mystery.

Symptoms The most common symptom is a lump which may be hard and is usually painless with irregular borders in the breast. Other likely signs which may send a red flag are: Inverted nipple Peeling, scaling or flaking of the nipple or breast skin Redness or pitting of the skin over The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

H e a lt h P l u s

your breast, like the skin of an orange Change in the size or shape of a breast Swelling beneath the armpit, Bloody discharge from the nipple, Rash on or around nipple, A nipple changing position, And skin dimpling.

Breast cancer may be presented as metastatic (i.e. spread of cancer to other part of the body) disease depending on the site of metastasis, weight loss, fever, joint pain, bone pain.

RISK FACTORS Although the causes of cancer are still under research, medical scientists have identified a number of factors which may increase the chances of a woman experiencing breast cancer. These include: Majority over the age of 50 Family history of breast cancer Oral Contrace ptive/Hor mone replacement therapy Exposure to radiation Early menstruation: before age 12 Late menopause: after age 55 Increase alcohol intake Smoking Obesity Lack of Child bearing /breast feeding Genes–there are two genes, BRCA1 and BRCA2 that greatly increase the risk.

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DIAGNOSIS Breast cancer can be diagnosed by: Physical and self examination of the breast.

Mammography (i.e. process of using low energy x-ray to examine the human breast and is used as diagnostic and screening tool.)

Ultrasound testing (i.e. using sound waves to examine the breast.)

Biopsy (i.e. it is the medical removal of tissue from a living subject to determine the presence or extent of a disease.)

Management Management of breast cancer depends on types of cancer and stages (they are usually in stages 0 to stage 4). Treatment options include: Local treatment.

Systemic treatment Adjuvant therapy Neo-adjuvant

Early detection and treatment is very important and have helped to improve the quality of life and reduce the number of breast cancer related death.

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H e a lt h P l u s

Support for breast cancer awareness amongst the citizenry and research funding by the public will also help improve the diagnosis and treatment…

1. Local treatment: treats the tumour without affecting the rest of the body which include: Surgery and Radiation therapy, 2. S y s t e m i c t r e a t m e n t : U s i n g medications or cancer fighting drugs to treat cancer which include c h e m o t h e r a p y, h o r m o n e a n d immunotherapy.

3. Adjuvant therapy: Drugs used after and in addition to surgery.

4. Neo-adjuvant: giving chemotherapy before surgery to shrink the tumour.

The goal of treatment for stage 0 to III is to treat cancer cells and prevent it from spreading. Stage IV is aimed at preventing symptoms and Improve quality of life.

Prevention of breast cancer: Some types of breast cancer are treatable if detected early. Guidelines for breast cancer screening includes: Yearly mammograms for women over the age of 40.

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Clinical breast cancer exams by a health expert every three years for women in their 20’s and 30’s and yearly for women over the age of 40.

Self breast-examination beginning in their 20’s.

Ways To Reduce Risk Factors For Breast Cancer Risk factors may increase the likelihood of developing breast cancer, although some people that develop breast cancer do not have any risk factors. However the chances of developing breast cancer increases with the more risk factors you have.

Reducing Risk Factors For Breast Cancer Includes: Limiting alcohol intake Quit smoking Maintaining an appropriate weight Exercising regularly Limiting dose and duration of hormone therapy Breast feeding your children Avoiding exposure to radiation and environmental pollution.

Support for breast cancer awareness amongst the citizenry and research funding by the public will also help improve the diagnosis and treatment of breast cancer in our society. q

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The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

F e at u r e I n t e r v i e w

How I Measure True Wealth —Mrs. Folorunso Alakija

I

n November 2012, the relatively quiet public profile of Mrs. Folorunsho Alakija was flung into the din of the mainstream media. A Forbes ranking had named her the 22nd richest person in Africa, and the richest woman on the continent, with a net worth of $600 million (about N94 billion). What? Who? When?

Why? How? The questions came in a flurry, met with a dizzying combination of facts, truth and hearsay.

Folorunsho Alakija had started her career as an Executive Secretary at Sijuade Enterprises, moved from being a banker at First National Bank of Chicago to a high profile fashion designer, and then to the Oil and Gas industry, all in a little less than two decades. Her eclectic career trajectory seemed brimming with stories, lessons lurking in their shadows.

And so on an afternoon in August, 2013, under a weather that lent itself to ambiguity, we headed for her Victoria Island office on a 3pm appointment, excited and determined to unearth, the life and times of Africa’s richest woman. And it is with that same excitement, we serve you the juicy details. Enjoy. y Interview by Adeniran Adedokun, Kemi Odukoya & Tochi Eze

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F e at u r e I n t e r v i e w

Nigeria’s oil tycoon and philanthropist, Mrs. Folorunso Alakija, shares her views on business, values and family.

You are a woman of dif ferent parts–a board room guru, fashion aficionado, a social entrepreneur, a mother and a wife. Given this very diverse mix, could you kindly let us into your early years and core values?

I come from a very large family.

My father had 8 wives and there were 52 of us as children. Unfortunately, now there are 46 of us. At age 7, I went to England to study with my half sister. I remember we had to learn a lot of things that were totally different from what we were used to. It was interesting; we learnt horse riding, elocution and piano lessons among other things. During the holidays, we would go back to my half sister’s place in Manchester, where we did a lot of house work. Four years went by quickly and our parents brought us back to Nigeria and we went to secondary school here. I went back to England after my secondary school for a course in secretarial studies and after graduation I worked for a number of years in various capacities from secretarial to public relations and banking. My values in business and life generally are centered on the following: 1. Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well; otherwise do not even start at all.

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F e at u r e I n t e r v i e w

2. I believe in accomplishing one’s tasks successfully.

3. I also believe what the Bible says in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”.

When you give your children proper guidance they will grow up with correct values.

4. I believe that no matter what you find yourself doing, ensure that you reach out to others. This is one of the ways I measure wealth. If you can’t touch the lives of others with your blessings, then you would have passed through earth for nothing.

You mentioned 4 values. How did you come about them? Was it a result of the way you were brought up?

Yes, these are things I learned as I grew up alongside the conclusions I have reached in my journey through life.

Who are your greatest influences?

My mum was a great inf luence.

Although she was not literate, she was extremely hard-working. She always knew what she wanted especially when it came to raising her children and doing business.

She was very strict with us and taught us a lot about life and how we needed to ensure that we did not rely on any man but that we must work hard. My mother and father were both in business. They started out together with nothing; yet, my parents were able to build an empire.

Everything I know about the practical Vol 1/Issue 2 2013 The Woman Leader

side of business, I learned from them. So I always knew from the onset that I wanted to be in business for they had become my mentors.

What advise would you give to young married women struggling to balance work and family?

It is important to prioritize. You can have all the money in the world but, if you have no one to share it with, what use would it be? The answer is in balancing the two. You must focus on what you want to achieve in terms of your career and decide which one comes first at any particular point in time. Draw up short term goals, medium term goals and long term goals. As a married woman, you have to look after your husband and your

“I believe that no matter what you find yourself doing; ensure that you reach out to others. This is one of the ways I measure wealth. If you can’t touch the lives of others with your blessings, then you would have passed through earth for nothing.”

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F e at u r e I n t e r v i e w

“My mum was a great influence. Although she was not literate, she was extremely hardworking. She always knew what she wanted especially when it came to raising her children and doing business.” children. I remember when my children were growing up, there were many times I would wake up as early as 4.30am and be out of the house early enough to drop them off at school before setting out for work. Home was Isolo at the time and we had a bridge that was always jam-packed with traffic. I would have to drop them in Gbagada and be at my desk in Ikoyi by 8am. I also remember that there were times then when we all had to share one car and sometimes I would have to pack lunch for my husband and I before leaving home. It was a matter of prioritizing. You must appreciate your God given roles whether as a woman or as a man.

Fashion was your first love. Was it something you always knew you would do?

No, I didn’t always know it would be fashion. I always knew it would be business, but I didn’t always know it 26

would be fashion. I had always traded in one thing or the other. I just take delight in trading. Even when I was in the bank, I would dash to Italy on my weekends to buy jewelry to sell to my friends. Over time I started buying stocks and shares.

It was no wonder then that I rose through the ranks and ended up being a Treasury Officer, trading with the bank’s money to help build the bank’s portfolio. That also helped to prepare me. I went into fashion when I decided to leave the bank because I was no longer happy working there. I knew that to choose a new career, I had to choose something that I would enjoy and at the same time would be lucrative. After looking within and around me I knew that Fashion was it. I believe in preparing properly, therefore, I made enquiries, did my home work and decided that the fashion line would be it.

What gave you the courage to take the step to leave a regular paid job?

I have always been someone who likes challenges–I am not scared of trying new things. I have had a mind of my own right from the start so I took it as a challenge. I remember one of my brothers discouraging me from resigning but, I insisted that I didn’t want to do fashion on the side and I wanted to learn it properly so I took a one year intensive course in fashion and came back to set up Supreme Stitches. My husband has always been really supportive both morally and financially.

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What advice would you give to women who struggle to get support from their husbands?

I find that communication is key in marriage. If you are not nagging, antagonistic or attacking, you’ll find that most times you can get your husband’s ears. I believe that if you are the kind of woman God wants you to be in your home, you’ll find that you can get away with a lot of things with your husband through the right method of communication. I wrote a book on marriage titled “the University of Marriage”.

We all know you ventured into Oil from fashion. However, the Nigerian oil industry is not known for so much integ rity and we know you are a Christian. How do you maintain your integrity while operating in the oil sector?

There is nothing impossible with God. Every time I come to a sticky point, I take it to the Lord in prayer.

“I went into fashion when I decided to leave the bank because I was no longer happy working there. I knew that to choose a new career, I had to choose something that I would enjoy and at the same time would be lucrative.”

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The story out there is that you got your oil license on a platter of gold because you made clothes for the then First Lady.

This characterization is most unfair; I am not the only one who was allocated a block during that administration. Look at all who were allocated blocks through the discretionary allocation process; how many of them were already in the oil industry? So why is there all the talk about me? We brought technical partners to team up with us to apply to provide the financing and technical knowledge and we satisfied all the requirements. My focus was never on the oil industry, but God had His way of getting our attention.

A friend introduced me to an American company who wanted to lift crude oil. She sought for a way we could partner with them to lift the crude. So I went knocking on doors to get an appointment with the Oil Minister. However, the then Oil

“There are opportunities for young people in any industry in any part of the world. It is a matter of determination. When young people put their hearts to a cause, with God on their side they will succeed.”

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Minister offered them an opportunity to invest in Nigeria, but they refused. All they wanted was to lift crude. The only reason I took it a step further was because the Oil Minister said the Government was interested in partners who would invest in Nigeria as opposed to carting our wealth away. That was God’s way of bringing us into the oil industry. I then seized the opportunity to offer another service. We offered transportation services but were declined on the grounds that Nigeria had started to lay the pipelines for crude transportation, so there would be no need.

I went back home very dejected. We later offered catering services to crude-lifting ships on the high seas. The Oil Minister turned that down too confirming that was not a form of investment in Nigeria.

He said they wanted Nigerians and nonNigerians to invest in Nigeria. He took it a step further and said “In fact, we want them to get involved in exploration and production”. My husband and I concluded that it was the Oil Minister’s way of finally turning us away. But, like I told you earlier, I don’t give up easily. I take up challenges and face them headlong. We decided to do our homework properly and seek technical partners and then applied for an oil exploration license. If you get knocked down, you should get up again. It was with this resolve that we started combing the world to look for technical partners.

Alhaji Jubril Aminu was the Oil Minister at the time. Subsequently, Oil Ministers were changed several times and each time there was a new minister, we started the The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

F e at u r e I n t e r v i e w

processes all over again. We went through great stress and many sleepless nights.

As if that was not enough, when the allocation finally came, we were allocated what seemed to be the very worst of the blocks at the time because it was for offshore and in very deep water and drilling technology worldwide had not reached that water depth–5000 feet.

That same block had been previously allocated to another company who were our neighbours, but because it was too deep to explore, they rejected it and even returned it. There was the probability that it could be a dry hole and this risk was enormous, yet we went ahead to invest all our life savings paying the regulatory fees.

So, as you can see, it was not something handed over on a golden platter in any shape or form.

Is there an opportunity for young people in the Nigerian oil industry?

There are opportunities for young people in any industry in any part of the world. It is a matter of determination.

When young people put their hearts to a cause, with God on their side they will succeed. They should neither be discouraged or afraid to step into uncharted waters.

“Our mission (at Rose of Sharon Foundation) is to provide financial independence and educational opportunities for widows and orphans through life skills and programs that we set up to give them self esteem in life. It is a way for us to meet their needs by teaching them to fish as opposed to giving them fish.” here. The Bible says that unless the Lord builds a house, they labour in vain who build it. It’s all about God’s grace. You must combine the two, hard work and God’s grace.

How does it feel when people recognize the success God has made out of your life?

I give all glory to God. It has not been because of what I have been able to do. If not for Him, I would never have gotten

Can you tell us a bit more about your outreach: the Rose of Sharon Foundation?

Our mission is to provide financial independence and educational opportunities for widows and orphans through life skills and programs that we set up to give them self esteem in life.

It is a way for us to meet their needs by

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teaching them to fish as opposed to giving them fish. I believe God laid it in my heart to set up a foundation, but I didn’t know what the focus would be, so I called a few of my friends to pray. One day as I prayerfully asked God again, He dropped James 1: 27 in my heart. I meditated on the scripture with excitement as it implored us to visit widows and orphans. We have followed His lead ever since to cater for their needs. We give the widows interest free micro-credit loans and their children, scholarships to the tertiary level. My husband is the Chairman and together with the trustees, we visit them, pray with them, and encourage them. It has given us a lot of pleasure because you can see the transformation in their lives.

If someone wants to offer support or partner with your Foundation, how can they go about it?

The Foundation is situated on No. 13 Adeniran Ogunsanya, Surulere and we have staff that work there full time and can attend to them. Anyone can go there or they can write to the foundation and we will endeavour to ascertain any opportunities as and when they come along.

Looking back, is there anything you wish you had done differently?

Knowing what I know now, I would say no. However, before, I would have said I really wanted to be a lawyer. But now, I know that if I had been a lawyer, I would have been lost in the crowd. I may not Vol 1/Issue 2 2013 The Woman Leader

“I know that if I had been a lawyer, I would have been lost in the crowd. I may not have gone into the fashion industry and it was the fashion industry that brought me to the lime light. The creative talent God had put in me, was expressed through fashion and I became The Designer of the Year in 1986.” have gone into the fashion industry and it was the fashion industry that brought me to the lime light. The creative talent God had put in me, was expressed through fashion and I became The Designer of the Year in 1986. There is a full record of my background in my auto biography.

What can we expect from you in the years to come?

Whatever the Lord has in store for me. *laughs* q

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P u r s e St r i n g s

How to Profit from Inflation I

By Muktar Mohammed

nflation is defined as a sustained increase in the price of goods and services.

Ask your parents or grandparents how much they paid for their first new car, their house or just about anything else they bought when they were your age and you will see that prices have indeed risen.

Inflation can be caused either by imbalances in supply and demand in the market place or by a government’s mismanagement of the currency. Inflation is a subtle form of taxation where the government gains spendable fund at 34

the expense of citizens whose money and savings decline in value. The most commonly cited measure of inflation is the consumer price index.

Noble laureate; Milton Friedman, the best known spokesman for the “monetarist” school, has said inflation is always and everywhere a monetary problem. In other words , over the long term, the problem lies not in the marketplace but in the manner in which the government manages the currency.

In Nigeria where we primarily operate an import derived economy, inflation is very high but government has pegged it at 8.7% even though the reality in the current prices of goods and services may suggest otherwise. While rising prices are bad news for consumers, as it takes an increased amount of money to purchase the same basket of good and services year after year, inflation can be quite profitable for investors. The key to making money in an inflationary environment is to hold The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

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investment that increases in value at a rate in excess of the rate of the inflation.

A number of investments are historically viewed as hedges against inflation. These include real estate, gold, oil, stock and inflation indexed bonds.

Real Estate This is a popular choice not only because rising prices increase the resale value of the property over time, but because real estate can also be used to generate rental income. Just as the value of the property rises with inflation, the amount tenants pay in rent can be increased over time, enabling the income generated by an investment property to keep pace with the general rise in prices across the economy.

Stocks Companies can generally pass on the rising costs to the consumers. Based on this, stocks have a reasonable chance of keeping pace with rising inflation.

Fixed income Inflation often causes interest rates to rise. Because interest rates and bond prices have an inverse relationship, inflation makes existing bonds worthless to investors. To overcome this obstacle investors can purchase bonds that are indexed to inflation, but we do not have that in Nigeria yet. This means if you trade in bonds; whether fixed deposit, treasury bills or leave money in your current or savings account, your money will be eaten by inflation.

Gold Gold can be purchased directly or

indirectly. You can put a box of the metal under your bed if a direct purchase suits your fancy or you can invest in the stock of a company involved in the gold mining business. You can opt to invest in a mutual fund or exchange traded fund that specializes in gold. These options are available at the Nigerian Stock Exchange.

Oil and other commodities are significantly more difficult to purchase directly and store than gold. Rather than put a barrel of oil in your garage or bushel of soybeans under your bed, it is far more convenient to invest in an exchanged traded fund partnership that gains exposure to commodities through the use of future contracts and swaps.

If you prefer a more sophisticated approach, you can invest in various commodities through the use of future contract purchased directly rather than through a pre-packaged investment vehicle.

Whatever course of action you choose, you are taking a chance. Sometimes that chance will pay off and other times it won’t. Consider the various investments designed to protect your portfolio from the ravages of inflation and choose the one that best meets your needs.

Diversification is also worth considering, as there is no need to limit your portfolio to a single investment vehicle. Spreading the risk across a variety of holdings is a time honored method of portfolio construction that is as applicable to inflation fighting strategies as it is to asset growth strategies. q

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Treading on Treacherous Ground We find out how Wazobia Fm’s Lolo 1 keeps the faith while navigating the murky waters of secular entertainment.

We all know you as an on air personality, but we would like to know more about you in terms of your background, your faith and your passions.

My name is Omotunde Adebowale

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David. I’m an entertainer, musician, on air personality. I’m a graduate of Law from the Lagos state University (LASU) with 12 years’ post call. I practiced for three years before I moved from legal

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practice to entertainment. I am married with 4 beautiful children. I became born again in my 2nd year in the university. I love to entertain and bring people Joy. I just like seeing people happy. I love children. I founded an NGO 12 years ago, because I have always believed that we have to be able to serve God in every capacity God has placed you. I am into relationships, I love family. I read a lot of Christian fiction, I love movies as well. I also love the beach so much.

Have you always seen yourself in the entertainment industry?

God always sets us on our path even before we know it. Right from childhood, I always wanted to be on stage. T.V was my fascination. I have always leaned towards entertainment. Even when I did my legal project in school, my focus was on Performance rights. For many years I was in the drama department of my church, The Fountain of Life Church.

So yes , entertainment was always something I wanted to do. The journey wasn’t easy, especially when opposition came especially after studying law. The only resolve I had was to succeed at it. I remember when someone from church kept pushing me to come in for the audition in Wazobia fm, and I was picked at a time that no one should even touch me, because I was 5 months pregnant.

God gave me fame and a name in such a short time because by the time I was going to give birth, I was already popular. It was then I knew that this was God’s calling for Vol 1/Issue 2 2013 The Woman Leader

me. The rest is history. God has given me so many opportunities.

Your brand name is unique. How did you come about it?

When I started in the industry, I always told people that I am a Yoruba woman by birth but an Igbo woman by choice. I love the Igbo culture, it fascinates me, I love their food, I love their dressing and I love their people. So when I started my show, I wanted a name and I asked my audience to give me a name. I had like 3,000 entries but Lolo was cute and appealed to me, so I went with it.

Given the demands of the industry, how do you manage to balance work with family?

Everything is simply about priorities.

I am not one of those people who allow one aspect of life to suffer for the other.

I believe God has given women grace to multi-task . My husband is ver y supportive. I have flexible working hours so I still have time to see and stay with my children. But most importantly it’s about priorities. Communication is key.

Are there challenges you have faced in the industry given the nature of your work and your spiritual background?

There is no industry that does not have conflict of faith. God knows your frailties and challenges; as long as you are sincere he will always make a way for you. I always find a way to chip in what I believe to people in my own way. My job 37

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is very secular but I always trust God to help me at every time. I make mistakes, I compromise sometimes, but whenever I know I have taken a wrong step, I retrace my steps. There is always conflict of faith but every day I have to trust God. You can’t neglect the place of prayer or the Word; I always look for a way to keep myself in check. I will never tell you I’m a perfect person; I’ll tell you that I’m a work in progress.

interactions and experiences because there is humour everywhere if you decide to look for it.

“Leadership to me is simply servanthood.

If God has called you to lead other people, it means you are the chief servant.”

How do you come up with your jokes? *Laughs* that is just like asking me ‘How is God God’? The Bible is true in many ways. It says that when we open our mouths, God will fill it. I didn’t make myself humorous, God made me like that.

There are people that are very straight forward, God made them like that. There are people that are very smart, God made them like that. I think God gave me humour. So being funny is not something I pray about or have to learn, it is a gift.

I take my jokes from everywhere, my 38

What advice would you give to younger women who seek to venture into comedy or entertainment?

I always tell young people to define themselves first because they are coming into a very competitive industry.

In order not to become anything everybody says, you have to give yourself your own definition and that is who God has God called you to be. Every industry is saturated, but the Bible says that wheat and chaff will be separated. It is only a matter of time. Secondly, be focused, be undeterred, and don’t get tired of trying!

Any final words to readers?

Leadership to me is simply servanthood. If God has called you to lead other people, it means you are the chief servant. It is not about the prestige.

Whatever you do affects the lives of other people and it’s all about servant hood. q The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

Op i n i o n

Timeless Counsel for Youths

By Detoun Ogwo

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nding one phase of life and moving on to the next is a major crossroad for every individual. Moving from the four walls of the classroom into the hustle and bustle of the world of work could be as thrilling as well as scary. With adequate information, preparation and guidance, one can make this upward move a great experience.

Here’s a summary of what some successful people who have gone ahead of you and recorded great success in the fields of endeavour have to say: 1.Vision guarantees success Have a picture of where you are going and create a plan to work towards it. For me, it’s get a map, circle your destination and also get a compass to navigate your way through. From time to time, recline and do a self evaluation on the progress you’re making. Vision keeps you on course even at the moment when everything is bleak.

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Many times, the professional world can be wrought with complicated circumstances and negative people. But with the unique vision from God, you can navigate through unpleasant situations without settling for less.

2. Discover who you are A lot of times we are so consumed about who we would become as if we can change what we are to someone else.

However, the real question is not “what will I become?” rather “what will I remain?”

Becoming” someone” sometimes makes us want things so desperately that we forget what we already have.

We begin to seek identity in other people’s opinions, expectations and successes. The best thing to do; look within, identif y your strengths and weaknesses. Magnify your strengths and downplay your weaknesses. The best you would ever be is a better you.

3. Take control of your money In no time, you will begin to earn a lot more than you’ve ever done before.

Making a lot of money does not guarantee wealth, proper and purposeful planning does. At the beginning of the month, have a budget drawn out on paper, plan for savings, giveaways, bills and how you intend to spend every dime you earn.

Make room for emergencies. Don’t buy things you don’t need with money you don’t have just to impress people.

It is not how much you earn that counts, it is what you do with it.

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4. Be teachable Don’t be so quick to defend your position or opinion before your superiors.

If you will, be careful and courteous about it. Your superiors are neither perfect nor always correct, however have respect for them, their vast knowledge and experience. Be teachable and willing to be corrected.

You will only reap destruction that comes from sowing arrogance and you don’t have to learn that way. Humble yourself and listen to godly people who speak about the hard issues so that you can avoid them.

5. Keep an eye on the rearview Taking a look back at your life is important from time to time.

Retrospections helps you to know where you have been and also to see what may come up from behind.

Looking back helps us to evaluate our successes and failures, giving us opportunity to try again where necessary.

This is in no way encouraging you to dwell on the past, rather be aware, read history and put things in perspective.

6. Life isn’t fair Yes! Read that statement again, assimilate and digest it. Perhaps you grew up in a family where fairness was a core value; it won’t usually apply in the world of work.

Life will never be fair nor equal to us all.

Life is full of chance and random events.

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the expectation of a fair life, we end up thinking, feeling and acting like victims.

We should practice fairness with people we come across in life, but expecting the same treatment in return is like preparing for disappointment. Don’t be the victim, victims don’t win nor become champions.

Keep working till you get it.

7. Nurture relationships The need to build and nurture g o o d r e l at i o n s h i p s c a n n e v e r b e overemphasized. Sometimes, all you really need is to know someone. Connect with successful people in your field; ask about their experience and whatever advice they would give a beginner. Many people are willing to import wisdom and you can only gain if you ask.

Be genuinely interested in people and consciously work to maintain relationships. Don’t just connect with people for what you can get out of them, offer a helping hand. Foster relationships at every level, horizontally and vertically.

8. Don’t forget to think Many of us are trained to listen and obey; our schools and even religion upholds this But you must not always let someone do the thinking for you. Engage your mind, maximise your thinking, take initiative and be proactive, “Use your brain and use it often”. So, what do you think? And why?

9. Live to learn You cease to live the moment you stop learning. Never stop learning as simple as that sounds, it is very vital. Finishing your education does not mean you have

relinquished learning. Schooling is only a vital foundation for lifelong education.

Learning is what you would spend the rest of your life doing. Keep abreast of things going on around the world; stay knowledgeable about the latest happenings in your field. The world is changing every day, it is important to stay informed.

10. See beyond yourself Globalization has made the world an even smaller place with every passing moment, our decisions, actions and choices have far more impact than just ourselves. Every action or reaction, product or waste has impact on people, communities, environs and even the entire earth. It is therefore imperative to make efficient and responsible choices for now and the future. We are products of some choices made by our predecessors and soon, the quality of life for future generations would be determined by us.

Here are a few quotes to keep you going: “Changes are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes it meaningful”.

“Always confirm, never assume”.

“You only get one chance to make a first impression”.

“Change is inevitable but growth is optional”.

“Failure can be a great teacher as long as you don’t repeat the same mistake and learn from them” q

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Discovering Your Personal Style

by Darlene Tunde-Olofin

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he Journey to discovering your personal style begins with identifying your body shape.

There are 8 different body types 1. Straight Body type: This is the type of body where the top and bottom of the individual is proportional.

2. Spoon Body Type: Hips are larger than the burst, with waist slightly smaller.

3. Pear Body Type: Hips are larger than burst but the waist slops out of the hips.

4. Hour Glass Type: Burst and hips are basically same size and waist is well defined.

5. Top Hour Glass Type: Bust is larger than hips and waist is well defined.

6. Inverted Triangle Type: Bust is large and hips is narrow.

7. Oval Body Type: Waist is larger 42

than bust and hips, hips are narrow compared to shoulders and breast are ample in size.

8. Diamond Body Type: Waist is larger than burst and hips, burst is small in size.

Apart from understanding your particular body type, there are also things that come to play; such as your individuality. Some of these things are as follows: A g e : S t y l e s h o u l d a l w ay s b e a g e appropriate. It is allowed to look youthful but must fit into your present stage of life.

Occupation: Various clothes fits into different job environment. Identify what is appropriate for your occupation and add a colour or accessory to make it your own.

Life Style: As the word implies Life and Style. Your style should combine Form and Function that fits well into your surroundings.

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Assess your current wardrobe; whatever you know easily attracts you while shopping can be a pointer to your style of clothing.

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Don’t be afraid to experiment a little before you discover your personal style.

Comfort is key, stay in your comfort zone.

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Knowing how to dress your body will aid in identifying your personal style Straight Body types should always wear clothes that cling around the waist to create an illusion of curves.

Spoon Body types should wear clothes that show off the smallest part of their torso. The empire style of cloth will look great on them.

Pear Body type should always add volume to shoulders and burst to create balance.

Hour Glass Body would look good in clothes that balances the top and bottom and show off the waist Top Hour Glass Body types should always add volume to the bottom with full gathers pleats and flay.

Showing off your waist will help Inverted Triangle Body types should concentrate on adding volume to the lower half to balance shoulders Oval Body type would do good to peplum like cloths or styles that are bulky around the waist to give the desired waist.

Diamond Body type should always balance the bottom with broad shoulder tops Accentuate your assets by trying to dress your body shape. Assess your current wardrobe; whatever you know easily attracts you while shopping can be a pointer to your style of clothing. Don’t be afraid to experiment a little before you discover your personal style. Comfort is key, stay in your comfort zone. q

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Books Food Laughs

Books

Reading List

Limitless

by Pastor Taiwo Odukoya n an age where a lot of men have sabotaged their destinies through self limiting beliefs Pastor Taiwo reminds us through timeless principles and practical examples that by reason of creation, man is limitless. More so when the man is a Christian and the unlimited God lives inside of him. The book stirs a desire within the readers to break away from negative thought patterns and step into their ordained purpose.

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Created for Blessings

by Pastor Taiwo Odukoya od never designed us to prosper and fulfill any purpose outside his blessings . In this book , Pastor Taiwo teaches emphatically that man is inherently designed to walk in the reality of Covenant blessing. He deploys practical approach to exposing secrets to manifesting these blessings in every area and endeavour of life.

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“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.”

— Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

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Books

The Language of Emotional Intelligence

by Jeanne Seagal

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his practical ready to use guide by a

renowned communication expert is upfront in explaining the relevance of emotional intelligence in maintaining rel at i o n sh i p s . Ap p l y i n g t r u e l i fe examples, Dr. Jeanne Segal’s unveils how to incorporate the five basic tools of emotional intelligence to enhance relationships in the workplace, at home, and in all areas of life.

The Power of Agreement

by Brian Molitor he Author; One of America’s foremost business consultant teaches how to succeed in times of change by leading your organization with a commitment to a shared vision. This book explains in details how to build and nurture high quality relationships that inspire others to put their shoulder to the will and turn your vision into action.

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“The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.”

— Mark Twain, attributed

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Food Court

Home Made Chocolate Cakes…Yum Yum

Ingredients 1 Cup of milk 1 Cup of boiling water 3/4 cups butter or margarine, softened 3 eggs 2 cups sugar 2 cups flour 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 1 teaspoon baking soda 3/4 teaspoon baking powder 2 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 1/2 cup milk Process Mix together flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and baking soda. Set aside.

In a large bowl, beat butter, eggs and vanilla.

Gradually add sugar.

Beat on medium to high speed for about 3-4 minutes until well mixed Combine the flour mixture and milk to batter while beating.

Continue to beat until batter is smooth.

Pour equal amounts of batter into greased and floured round cake pans.

Bake 30 to 35 minutes.

Check with a toothpick to see if it is done. Bake a few minutes more, if needed.

Remove from oven and allow cakes to cool in pans for a few minutes.

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The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

L au g h s

Applying the 10 Commandments

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘Honor thy father and thy mother,’ she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, ‘Thou shall not kill..

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Adam’s Ribs

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, ‘Johnny, what is the matter?’

Little Johnny responded, ‘I have pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.’

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Im a g e A n d St y l e

7 Tips for Flawless a Skin

By Tara Fela Durotoye powerful antioxidants that help to protect the skin from the cellular damage caused by free radicals. Free radicals are caused by pollution and sunlight and can cause wrinkling and age spots. Eat a rainbow of colourful fruit and vegetables and aim for at least five portions a day. Vitamin C is also a super antioxidant. It is needed for a strong immune system, radiant skin and helps blemishes heal properly. Vitamin E protects skin from oxidative cell damage and supports healthy skin growth. Foods high in vitamin E include almonds, avocados, vegetable and corn oils.

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Water Skin needs moisture to stay flexible.

Even mild dehydration will cause your skin to look dry and tired. Drink 3 to 4 small bottles of water a day if you are always on the move–all fluids count towards your daily allowance, but water is the best. If you work in an office, keep a large bottle of water on your desk to remind you to drink. Herbal, caffeine-free teas are good too. Try to avoid smoking and excessive alcohol consumption as they can both can age the skin.

Maintain a Healthy Diet The secret to a youthful, healthy and blemish-free skin is to ensure your diet is balanced and rich in the correct nutrients. Fruit and vegetables contain

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Have a Good Skin Care Routine Facial scrubs and exfoliators gently slough away dry, dead skin to reveal a fresh look. A good toner can reveal

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younger-looking skin. Use facial masks to remove blockages in the pores, draw out excess oil and dirt, and condition the skin.

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More Sleep+Less Stress Sleep is nature’s most powerful beauty treatment. Not only do the recommended seven to nine hours a night leave you looking luminous, but also many products are most effective overnight because they penetrate better when you’re at rest. Uncontrolled stress can make your skin more sensitive and trigger acne breakouts and other skin problems.

To encourage healthy skin, take steps to manage your stress. Set reasonable limits, scale back your to-do list and make time to do the things you enjoy.

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Know Your Skin Type The best route to complexion perfection is to get to know your skin type. Use products that are made for your skin type, whether it is dry, oily or combination, know what works best for you! Also use products according to the seasons – what works in cold weather may not work when it is warm.

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Protect Your Skin Harmful UV rays can lead to skin damage. Invest in a good sunscreen and avoid spending a long time in direct sunlight. The sun causes an uneven increase in melanin Vol 1/Issue 2 2013 The Woman Leader

To encourage healthy skin, take steps to manage your stress. Set reasonable limits, scale back your to-do list and make time to do the things you enjoy. p ro d u c t i o n , w h i ch p ro d u ce s irregular colouring or pigmentation of the skin. The mineral based House of Tara Dual Foundation with Aloe Vera sunscreen keeps your skin safe all day long

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Use Good Quality Make-Up Use products that c an cover sp ot s and blemi she s while nour i shing the sk in.

Ho u s e o f Ta r a’s n e w Liquid foundations are perfect for achieving that f lawless finish! To ensure flawless skin at special events, have your make- up professionally done – House of Tara offers make-up services MonSat at our 14 studios nationwide! q 51

Op i n i o n

Waxing & Waning

By Yewande Zaccheaus

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Op i n i o n

—Waxing— to increase in extent , quantity, intensity and power.

—Waning— to decrease gradually in amount, intensity or degree.

L

adies, I want to start off by asking you a deeply personal question.

What is your relationship with the Lord like at any point in time? Are you always totally captivated and in awe and wonder of His majesty, in constant communion with Him at all times and in all places? Really? ? Or are you sometimes distracted, troubled, anxious, weary, or simply just feel so distant from Him? I believe the majority of us probably fall into the second category where we actually do wax and wane in the way we relate to our Heavenly Father. Why is this, I ask. Why can’t we just be as constant and faithful in our relationship with Him as He is to us?

It appears the times when we are most “desperate” for God is the time when we need something really badly from Him. Then we do what we ought to do, seek His face, serve His people, praise , worship and pray at every opportunity because we believe God is our Father Christmas who

operates only on a give and take basis.

Whenever there is a challenge, a desperate need, we know where to go. Then…. God hears! He blesses us with that which we desire, He gives “exceedingly, abundantly more than we can ever ask, think or imagine” and what do we do?

Yes of course we say thank you very hurriedly, then off we go back into our busy world…. so busy at work, travelling so much, so many commitments to family, friends and ministry! We allow the blessings to push Him out of our consciousness, out of our lives.

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We must remember that when our situations make us feel that God is so distant and not with us, it is just a feeling and never the truth.

Op i n i o n

The danger with this is that our hearts can easily become hardened. We must remain in constant fellowship with the Lord to maintain that perfect bond and closeness that there should be between a father and his beloved daughter, the love that binds us so we really are in Him and He in us. As He is, we are.

When I talk about fellowship, I don’t mean just attending church on Sunday.

As you well know it is actually quite easy to attend church and yet be a spectator or bench warmer and do so many other things that give the appearance of fellowship without one’s heart being in it.

By fellowship in this context, I mean a conscious, continuous and deepening relationship where He is always on your mind, His love guides your every thought and action. He is the first you go to when things happen to you, good or bad. You thirst for Him, seeking him hungrily. You are in a place of wonder at His awesome majesty, incredulous at his love for you in spite of your many mistakes and disappointments.

We must get to a place where we know that “all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose”.

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How many of us are really at this good place with our Father and God? Another reason why we wane I believe is because we become jaded and wear y. After believing God and praying for a situation which seems never to come to pass, we begin to think and feel God doesn’t really care for or love us. We imagine we must have fallen out of favour with the Lord or else why would it take so long for our miracles to happen? As we grumble and murmur, we begin to lose interest in the things that matter to Him and focus on things that matter to us. As we draw away from Him, He lets us be, though waiting patiently in the wings, knowing his daughter will surely soon came back to her senses!

We must remember that when our situations make us feel that God is so distant and not with us, it is just a feeling and never the truth. The truth is that as He has promised in His word, He will be with us always and till the end of time. He will never leave us or forsake us.

We must get to a place where we know that “all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose”.

ALL things. No exception. Yes, that major disappointment comes under “all things”, that devastating loss indeed is “all things”. That situation that seemingly refuses to budge in spite of your endless prayers is “all things “ . Settle that in your heart and you will come to that good place where you are confident that because He alone is the one who knows the end from The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

Op i n i o n

the beginning, He alone is the one who remains the same yesterday, today and forever more, He alone is the one whose thoughts for us are of good and not of evil…. then surely, this too shall come to pass!

We must learn to trust God totally and completely with our yesterday, today and tomorrow, our hopes and desires, knowing that He is always working his purpose out in our lives, one day at a time. For His grace indeed will always be sufficient for us. He will give exactly the grace we need to go through any challenging situations we pass through, no more than needed, no less than required.

Our God of perfection.

With this knowledge we must work on ensuring our relationship with our Father remains one of constant, deep, committed fellowship and communion.

After all, none of us likes a “friend” who it seems only asks for us, or maintains a friendship with us just for what she can get . We all appreciate true friends whom we can count on at all times to be there for us through thick and thin.

So my dear sisters, make a decision today not to allow ANYTHING to affect your love and passion for your Father. Stay focused on Him, fellowship with Him at all times, understand the length, depth and breadth of His love for you, reciprocate that love, though so underserved. Once you make it all about Him, it will be easy to understand and accept His ways.

Remember, His ways are not our ways.

I would like to share verses 3 and 4

of a beautiful hymn,” Come thou fount of every blessing “ by Robert Robinson, (1758) which clearly exemplifies this habit of waxing and waning in the children of God .

Jesus sought me when a stranger, Wandering from the fold of God; He, to rescue me from danger, Interposed His precious blood; How His kindness yet pursues me Mortal tongue can never tell, Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me I cannot proclaim it well.

O to grace how great a debtor Daily I’m constrained to be!

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above.

May we continue to wax stronger and not wane dimmer in our relationship with our awesome heavenly Father as we grow daily in our walk with Him. q

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make a decision today not to allow ANYTHING to affect your love and passion for your Father. Stay focused on Him, fellowship with Him at all times,…

Op i n i o n

Staying Fit:

How to reduce belly fat

by Bunmi Alaga

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o u r w e i g h t i s m a i n ly determined by how you balance the amount of calories you eat with the amount of energy you burn. If you eat more calories than you burn, it is almost inevitable that you will pack on excess weight — including belly fat.

There are many factors involved in the increase in fat around the belly area including poor diet, lack of exercise, stress, and decrease in the level of Estrogen.

However, aging plays an important role.

An expanding waistline is sometimes considered the price of getting older because muscle mass naturally diminishes with age, while fat increases. The loss of muscle mass decreases the speed at which your body burns calories, this can make it more challenging to sustain a healthy weight. Furthermore, many women also notice an increase in belly fat even if they aren’t gaining weight. For most women who have hit menopausal stage, a good amount of body fat tends to shift to the abdomen area.

The dilemma with belly fat is that it’s not limited to the extra layer of padding 56

The Woman Leader Vol 1/Issue 2 2013

Op i n i o n

located just below the skin which is known as subcutaneous fat. It also includes visceral fat which lies deep inside your abdomen, surrounding your internal organs; it secretes proteins that can trigger chronic inflammation, putting you at risk for heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, and even cancer.

Research also has associated belly fat with an increased risk of premature death — regardless of overall weight. In fact, some studies have found that even when women were considered a normal weight based on standard body mass index (BMI) measurements, a large waistline increased the risk of dying of cardiovascular disease.

An easy way to find out if you’re carrying too much abdominal fat is to wrap a measuring tape around your body at the top of your hipbones. If your number is more than 35 inches, it may be time to take action. The good news: Getting rid of belly fat is simpler than you might think. With the right plan, it’s actually easier to lose than stubborn lower-body fat.

Fighting belly fat You can tone abdominal muscles with crunches or other targeted abdominal exercises, but just doing these exercises won’t get rid of belly fat. However, visceral fat does respond to the same diet and exercise strategies that can help you shed excess pounds and lower your total body fat. To battle the bulge: Eat a healthy diet. Emphasize plantbased foods, such as fruits, vegetables

and whole grains, and choose lean sources of protein and low-fat dairy products. Limit saturated fat, found in red meat and high-fat dairy products, such as cheese and butter. Choose moderate amounts of monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats — found in fish, nuts and certain vegetable oils — instead.

Keep portion sizes in check. Even when you’re making healthy choices, avoid elephant sizes as calories add up.

When you are at home, slim down your portion sizes. In restaurants, if the meal is relatively big eat half your meal and take the rest home for another day.

Embrace physical activity in your daily routine. Core exercises will strengthen your abs, but they won’t eliminate the fat that lies beneath them. To do that, you have to ramp up your overall calorie burn with cardio (running, walking, biking). For most healthy adults moderate aerobic activity, such as brisk walking, for at least 150 minutes a week or vigorous aerobic activity, such as jogging, for at least 75 minutes a week. In addition, strength training exercises are recommended at least twice a week. If you want to lose weight or meet specific fitness goals, you might need to exercise more.

To lose excess fat and keep it from coming back, aim for slow and steady weight loss — up to 2 pounds (1 kilogram) a week. Consult your fitness consultant or doctor for help getting started and staying on track. q

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Op i n i o n

Frame your family with the Word…

Lessons from Psalm 112!

By Ronke Aladesuru

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Op i n i o n

A

t the l a st meeting of Woman Leader in June, 2013, a Sister stood up to share how Psalm 112 had been a blessing to her. I was going to add my little bit about the same Psalm but felt we were pressed for time.

However after the meeting I felt so burdened for holding back. That is what has led to this piece.

Sometime in 1997, I heard a silent voice say…face the home front. I wasn’t too sure what the instruction meant but I decided to pay a more focused, planned and consistent attention to our home.

Three years into that journey I heard again, Psalm 112 is the word for your family. [GOD is no respecter of persons].

So I wrote out a customized version and made our children learn it. We prayed it every day and one day I was surprised to hear their Dad pray it with us.

Looking back I have learnt 3 valuable lessons: It is a complete diet: The first verse lays the solid foundation for a godly family while the second verse defines a glorious future. Verses 3 to10 cover the spectrum of blessings needed for the present: prosperity, charity, victory, courage, influence, honour etc.

It is a tangible heritage: Over and above the houses, the stocks, the cash in the hamper of our inheritance, it is a solid asset that can be handed over to the next generation. Once the children learn it at an early age they can be

encouraged to customize it for their new families when they get married.

Our daughters can use it to build their new homes while for our sons it helps to give them a perspective and focus for their new families.

If customized appropriately the Daddy’s will eagerly learn it too: The Psalm starts with “Praise the Lord.”

The next line can read “In this family of [Add your husband’s name] we are blessed because we fear the LORD and we delight greatly in doing what HE commands. In verse two instead of your Seed; you can put the actual names of your children or children to be. These words I believe sound good to every man. So without you discussing it or pushing for it our husbands can joyfully learn the Psalm from their children.

The word of GOD stands sure. It can never fail. Remember it was the same word that GOD used to frame the world from total darkness, emptiness and chaos.

Our families will not only be beautiful and blessed here on earth but they will be well pleasing to HIM in eternity! q

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Pa r e n t i n g

3 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Children Culled from www.parenting.com

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e all say the wrong thing sometimes, leaving our kids feeling hurt, angry, or confused. Read on for some of the most common verbal missteps parents make, and kinder, gentler alternatives.

Leave Me Alone!”

A parent who doesn’t crave an occasional break is a saint, a martyr, or someone who’s so overdue for some time alone she’s forgotten the benefits of recharging.

Trouble is, when you routinely tell your kids, “Don’t bother me” or “I’m busy,” they internalize that message, says Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D., founder of the Ozark Center for Language Studies, in Huntsville, Arkansas. “They begin to think there’s no point in talking to you because you’re always brushing them off.” If you set up that pattern when your children are small, then they may be less likely to tell you things as they get older.

From infancy, kids should get in the habit of seeing their parents take time for 60

themselves. Use pressure-release valves — whether signing up with a babysitting co-op, trading off childcare with your partner or a friend, or even parking your child in front of a video so that you can have half an hour to relax and regroup.

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Pa r e n t i n g

“Don’t Cry.” Variations: “Don’t be sad.” “Don’t be a baby.” “Now, now — there’s no reason to be afraid.” But kids do get upset enough to cry, especially toddlers, who can’t always articulate their feelings with words. They do get sad. They do get frightened. “It’s natural to want to protect a child from such feelings,” says Debbie Glasser, Ph.D., director of Family Support Services at the Mailman Segal Institute for Early Childhood Studies at Nova Southeastern University, in Fort Lauderdale. “But saying ‘Don’t be’ doesn’t make a child feel better, and it also can send the message that his emotions aren’t valid — that it’s not okay to be sad or scared.”

Rather than deny that your child feels a particular way — when he obviously does — acknowledge the emotion up front.

“It must make you really sad when Jason says he doesn’t want to be your friend anymore.” “Yes, the waves sure can be scary when you’re not used to them. But we’ll just stand here together and let them tickle our feet. I promise I won’t let go of your hand.”

By naming the real feelings that your child has, you’ll give him the words to express himself — and you’ll show him what it means to be empathetic.

Ultimately, he’ll cry less and describe his emotions instead.

Being pressured to do something she’s not ready for (or doesn’t like to do) can be confusing to a little kid and can undermine her self-confidence.

“Why Can’t You Be More Like Your Sister?”

It might seem helpful to hold out a sibling or friend as a shining example. “Look how

well Sam zips his coat,” you might say. Or “Jenna’s using the potty already, so why can’t you do that too?” But comparisons almost always backfire. Your child is herself, not Sam or Jenna.

It’s natural for parents to compare their kids, to look for a frame of reference about their milestones or their behavior, say experts.

But don’t let your child hear you doing it. Kids develop at their own pace and have their own temperament and personality.

Comparing your child to someone else implies that you wish yours were different.

Nor does making comparisons help change behavior. Being pressured to do something she’s not ready for (or doesn’t like to do) can be confusing to a little kid and can undermine her self-confidence.

She’s also likely to resent you and resolve not to do what you want, in a test of wills.

Instead, encourage her current achievements: “Wow, you put both arms in your coat all by yourself!” Or “Thanks for telling me your diaper needs changing.” q

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Your Life Is a

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of Opportunities.

Genesis 1:28

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Discovery for Women

Sights, Stories and more...

W

omen from all walks of life come together every quarter at The Fountain of Life Church, for a spiritual empowerment summit called Discovery for Women.

This rally, arguably the largest women’s gathering in Lagos is hosted by Pastor Taiwo Odukoya of The Fountain of Life Church. The mid-year rally for 2013 tagged “The Supernatural Woman” was an exceptional experience of Wisdom from the Word, laughter, communion of women and an undeniable presence of The Holy Spirit.

Needless to mention; the event was compeered by the one and only Lolo 1 of Wazobia FM. Her infectious charisma sent the congregation of women reeling in rambunctious laughter; it was a moment of temporary relief from the fast paced distractions of every day life, after all, the Bible says ‘a merry heart does good like medicine’. In spite of this, it was not a superficial gathering of women from the mundane walks of life; it wasn’t merely another social gathering where ladies wore their brightest colours and smiles, it was an experience o f a l i f e t i m e . Th e r e w e r e tangible proofs of supernatural occurrences. Real life accounts

of the expression of God’s extravagant favour. Women testified of their various experiences of God’s faithfulness and these testimonies in turn became a catalogue of hope, lighting a candle of expectation and renewed confidence in the heart of all listeners.

The Worship was wondrous, the Word was timely, the atmosphere was charged and the women were undeniably blessed.

Pastor Taiwo started with the scripture from Proverbs 31 drawing timesless principles from the model of the virtuous woman. He charged the women to rise with a new sense of responsibility and purpose in the scheme of affairs. Lives were changed and destinies impacted.

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Women, Worship & Word = Possibilities

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Discovery for Women

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Get Pastor Taiwo Odukoya’s books at The Fountain of Life Book Shop.

Call to Action YOU ARE PERFECTLY POSITIONED rite down 3 different platforms you occupy where you can begin to exercise leadership.

What can you begin to do immediately to make a positive impact in your platforms?

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HANDLING EMOTIONAL AFFAIRS eep your spouse detailed of all your relationships, particularly with the opposite sex. efine boundaries in your relationships. Know when to draw the line between personal and platonic relationships.

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HANDLING INFLATION hich of the listed options is more practicable for you?

Consult with an expert and possibly your spouse.

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H

PERSONAL STYLE

ave you identified your body

type? What changes do you need to make to your wardrobe?

7 TIPS FOR A FLAWLESS SKIN ake 8 cups of water a day. Get at least 7 hours sleep. Eat a healthy combination of fruits and vegetables

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Breast Cancer o for a breat examination if you are due for one. tand as an accountability partner to other women. Help raise awarness through advocacy to people in your network.

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TIMELESS COUNSEL FOR YOUTHS Seek Direction, Read books, Get a mentor.

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