The Woman Leader - Edition 3

N500

THE

Woman Leader w w w . t h e w o m a n l e a d e r . o r g

~Recipe~

Mind Your Relationships Feeling Good?

Wholesome Living In 2014

What’s Your Style Code?

Plug-in or get left behind —Mrs. Omobola Johnson

The Woman Leader Vol 2/Issue 1, 2014

About The Woman Leader PUBLISHERS Pastors Taiwo & Nomthi Odukoya

A vision of Pastor Taiwo Odukoya with a mission To equip and challenge women to arise into their position of leadership and to be catalysts for change in Christ. ~Mode~ To connect and share wisdom with others and build a community of learning and friendship through physical and internet interactions. ~Areas Of Focus~ To help women explore and understand their true values, strengths, goals and dreams.  Appreciate and leverage on her strengths and achievements to move forward whilst lifting others up.  Demonstrate her courage and confidence to act and lead.  Plan and pursue her unique life, ministry and career path.  Create a work/life balance that is right for you and your family.  Explore and integrate her spirituality and the power of positive attitude.

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

EDITORIAL ‘Detoun Ogwo Sylvester Ojenagbon Efe Paul Azino Tochi Eze CONTRIBUTORS Nomthi Odukoya Ronke Aladesuru Yewande Zaccheus Dr. Chinyere Okoro Bunmi Alaga Tara Fela-Durotoye Darlene Tunde-Olofin Muktar Mohammed PHOTOGRAPHY Femi Adenrele, PHD Photos DESIGN Tonye Edet Working Committee Mrs. Nomthi Odukoya Mrs. Ronke Aladesuru Mrs. Ibukun Awosika Mrs. Tosin Sowemimo Pastor Mrs. Jane Pela Mrs. Yinka Morgan Hon. Amb. Folake Bello Mrs. Yewande Zaccheus Mrs. Adeola Azeez Mrs. Olamide Balogun Mrs. Julia Jack Mrs. Shirley Okharedia Mrs. Lai Koiki Mrs. Subu Giwa-Amu

3

Contents T he

W oman L eader Vol 2 Issue 1, 2014

21

8

37 A Voice For Youth: Toyosi Akerele 39 My Other Life: Kingdom Investors

From The Editor 44

Raising Leaders Intentionally

46

Are You Plugged In?

49

Recommended Reading

50

Fish With Haricot Vert

21 My Vision Is For Nigeria To Be The Ict Hub For Africa —Mrs. Mobola Johnson

52

A Hope And A Future

56

What’s Your Style Code?

26 I Am Daddy And I Am Not Your Friend

66

From Madiba With Soul

10

Mind Your Relationships

14

Leaky Pockets

18

Feeling Good?

Wholesome Living In 2014

34 Your Expectations Will Not Be Cut Off

4

37

70 Women’s Rights Are Human Rights 74

“The values I am committed to are; integrity, doing to others only as I would do to myself, hard work, discipline, contentment.”

50

2014 Powered By Conviction

18

26 Copyright ©2013. All rights reserved. The Woman Leader Magazine is a quarterly publication by The Woman Leader Outreach, Lagos.

All comments, opinions, enquiries and advert requests should please be directed to: The Editor, The Woman Leader, 12 Industrial Estate Road, Off Town Planning Way, Ilupeju, Lagos.

E-mail: editor@thewomanleader.org Tel: +234-813 893 8495

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

5

Pastor Taiwo Odukoya

contributors

Pastor Taiwo Odukoya is a petroleum engineer, author and Senior Pastor of The Fountain of Life Church. He is an expert on leadership and relationship matters. He is happily married to Nomthi Odukoya and they are blessed with children.

6

‘Gbenga Sesan

Gbenga is an Ashoka Fellow, a member of the United Nations Committee of eLeaders on Youth and ICT and Archbishop Tutu Leadership Fellow. He is a social entrepreneur, Information Society researcher and Nigeria’s first Information Technology Youth Ambassador.

Nomthi Odukoya

Nomthi Odukoya is an educationist and life coach with a Masters degree in Global Human Resource Management.

The co-pastor of The Fountain of Life Church, Lagos, Nigeria, she believes in the hope of a better tomorrow regardless of life’s challenges. She lives in Lagos, Nigeria with her husband and children.

Gbugbemi Fregene

An Industrial Relations Expert by training, Gbugbemi has carved a niche for himself in the catering and culinary services sector. His brand ‘Chef Fregz’ is rapidly gaining amongst the young and upwardly mobile crowd who prefer a creative and unconventional approach to meals preparation and presentation.

Detoun Ogwo

Detoun Ogwo is a Human Resources & Development consultant committed to making a difference in the youth employment sector. She serves as Director on several boards including Devax and AGDC. Her passion is centred on the ideology that the skills and potential of young people are untapped institutional and national assets. She invests her skills and expertise in developing the employable and entrepreneurial capacity of youth to help them become high-value human resource, capable of driving national development. She is married to Amechi and they are blessed with children

Yetunde Bankole-Bernard

Yetundeis the managing partner at PGL Image Consulting, a growing multifaceted Image Consultancy in Ikoyi, Lagos.She is a UK certified Life Coach, Style/Image Coach and Corporate Image consultant trained in New York and Las Vegas respectively. She is happily married and a mother of two children.

Kunle Soriyan

Olakunle Soriyan is the Principal Transformation Strategist of THE OLAKUNLE SORIYAN COMPANY, a Total Life Management (TLM) and Nation-Building Training, Coaching and Consulting Firm. The company works with leaders of various arms of governments, NGOs as well as business and institutional leaders at all levels.

He is happily married to Tiwalade Soriyan and they are blessed with a son.

Tinuke Olashore

Tinu Olasore is a vision driven entrepreneur with a strong passion for social change. She pastors at the Fountain of Life Church, where she also serves in the capacity of the editor of the Ruth and Boaz magazine; a nongovernmental outreach aimed at reaching out to single parents in the society.

Sherese Ijewere

Sherese is a professional consultant in the field of nutrition. She runs The Carribean Health and Nutrition Centreand holds a Bachelor’s degree in Communication and Nutrition from the University of South Florida.

Olufunto Igun

Funto Igunis the Executive Director of The Corona Schools Trust Council.

The Corona child is proudly Nigerian with a global view of excellence.

Toni Kan

Toni is a writer and PR practitioner. He is Managing Partner at Radi8 Limited, a PR/Advertising/Events company.

Babi Subair

is Business-minded strategy consultant whose passion is to accelerate women’s socio-economic development in Nigeria, by working closely with a broad section of women-owned businesses in shaping and delivering their strategic agenda through operationalising strategic plans so they are set up to deliver action and results.

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Taiwo Akinlami

Advocate & Solicitor of the Supreme Court of Nigeria, Taiwo Akinlami is the Principal, Taiwo Akinlami INSPIRES. A foremost Child Protection Specialist, he is also; a Consultant to UNICEF on Child Protection; an Independent Legal and Social Regulatory Expert on Child’s Rights and Responsibilities Issues;a Legal Enlightenment & Development enthusiast and; an accredited facilitator of the British Council School Leadership Program.

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

7

from the editor

W

elcome to 2014! We celebrate you and are truly glad to have you on board for our third edition. So many resolutions must have been made as you started the New Year…we hope you have been able to achieve some of your set goals.

In this edition, Pastor Taiwo stresses on the importance of open communication and quick conflict resolution in the maintenance of good relationships across board and tasks us to play strategic and active roles as women, in engendering peaceful and productive relationships An in-depth and insightful interview with the Honourable Minister for ICT exposes us to the possibility of holding strong to our convictions as women and Christians, even in the midst of compromising actions and people. She also expounds on her the skillset necessary for great leadership and shows us that it is possible (with God) to stay true and undefiled, regardless of where we find ourselves.

For women who seek financial discipline and want to understand the secrets to financial freedom, our personal finance column helps you achieve that and shows the things that- slowly but surely- erode our finances. We also stress on the need for women to stay plugged in this rapidly evolving social media-driven economy. The lessons from Madiba’s life drive home the importance of family and the need for us, as women, to succeed at this divine mission by learning from his mistakes and making the needed change as wives, sisters and mothers.

These and so much more make this edition a truly inspiring read. We hope you are able to take action in every sphere of life as you enjoy this edition. We wish you a wonderful Easter celebration in advance.

Detoun Ogwo Editor

8

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Letters?

Expert Speaks

Expert Speaks

l eadership

leadership

Mind Your Relationships

H

By Pastor Taiwo Odukoya

erman Engel went out for a walk with his wife in lower Manhattan. As the couple was crossing the street at the corner, a speeding car screeched to a halt, missing them by inches. In fear and rage, Engel slammed his fist on the hood of the car. Furious, the young man driving the car got out, shouting, “Why’d you hit my car?” Engel shouted back, “You nearly killed my wife and me!”

10

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

A crowd gathered. Engel was white, the driver was black, and suddenly the scene took on racial overtones. As people began to take sides, it looked as if the situation might escalate into a fullscale brawl.

Then Engel noticed behind him an onlooker, an older black man. The man’s hand, palm down, was slowly moving up and down, as if to say to the young driver, “Okay, now, cool it.” The young man visibly struggled to control himself, then suddenly walked back to his car, got in, and drove off without another word.

The young driver, reclining to his car, howbeit with a bit of reluctance saved the day by avoiding what could easily have resulted into a brawl.

According to American journalist and radio broadcaster, Dorothy Thompson, “Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict” Conflict is a natural part of human existence. Disagreements occur in every sphere of life, from domestic relations, organizational clashes and transnational violence. Conflict, when properly resolved can lead to personal and professional growth, but where the reverse is the case, its effects are often disastrous. Wars have erupted; marriages have ended in bitter divorce, children have taken up arms, and businesses have collapsed because of the inability of stakeholders to navigate through disagreements.

Research findings published at the

Conflict Resolution Professionals Group show that 6 0 - 8 0 % o f a l l d i f f i c u l t i e s i n organizations stem from strained relationships between employees, not from deficits in individual employee’s skill or motivation.

The typical manager spends 25-40% of his or her time dealing with workplace conflicts. That’s one to two days of every work week.

Fortune 500 Senior Executives spend 20% of their time in litigation activities.

It is therefore not surprising that of the many attributes imputed to great leaders, one of the most essential is the ability to resolve conflicts effectively.

Leaders must of necessity learn to face conflict, with a view to understanding and managing it, whether in their private interactions or amidst

Wars have erupted; marriages have ended in bitter divorce, children have taken up arms, and businesses have collapsed because of the inability of stakeholders to navigate through disagreements.

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

11

Expert Speaks

Expert Speaks

l eadership

leadership

other combatants. This learned behavior, that is the ability to manage conflicts effectively, is a growing urgency in all human endeavour and relations because the cost of being subject to the whim of emotions such as anger and pride are much more expensive.

You may wonder, ‘What does this have to do with me really?’

The truth is, it is impossible to succeed in life without relationships.

And, it is impossible to succeed in your relationships without the ability to manage conflicts. I presume you may have set your goals in 2014, but however lofty your aspirations may be, it is imperative that you understand that relationships are integral to every form of human achievement. As a matter of fact, seldom will anything worth your while happen outside the confines of your interaction with other people.

Sam Walton, founder of the prestigious Wal-Mart chain of stores, had this to

By managing conflict, whether in your personal interaction or as a third party dispute settler; you invariably create an atmosphere to thrive physically, emotionally and economically.

12

say ‘Individuals don’t win, teams do.’

His philosophy was typified in the exemplary way he treated his employees, demonstrating his respect for workers by encouraging and rewarding their efforts, opening lines of communication with members of staff and laying the precedent of organizational growth through the leverage of human resources.

Walton was a master at relationships.

Walton was a conflict resolver.

It suffices to state that subjecting your relationship to strife and disagreement, no matter how justifiable, is to relinquish your relevance as a leader.

As a woman, you play a vital role in maintaining peace in your relationshipswhether as a wife, a friend, a business partner or on a more public platform.

In the book of Hebrews 12:14, the Bible enjoins us to pursue peace with all men, as far as it is up to us. This positions us as peacemakers or in a more contemporary language, as conflict resolvers in our environment.

Consider the story of Abigail, wife of Nabal in 1 Samuel 25. Abigail, in a desperate bid to salvage her husband’s disregard of David, and save him and her household from death, rushed out to meet David, and appeased him with gifts and words intended to placate him.

Her action saved her husband and her entire household. This story illustrates how strategic you are as a woman in preserving the sanctity of relationships, first of yourself, and then of the people around you.

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

But for this single act, we may never have heard of Abigail. It was her dexterity at resolving conflicts that secured her a position of eternal relevance.

The truth is, leading through conflict resolution can make a difference in your personal effectiveness. Think about it, what better way to express exceptional problem solving and leadership skills than by taking the initiative to resolve and manage differences in the various ways they may emerge? By managing conflict, whether in your personal interaction or as a third party dispute settler; you invariably create an atmosphere to thrive physically, emotionally and economically.

So my question to you is this: what kind of leader are you determined to be?

Will you be one who shies away from conflicts or will you tackle them head on?

Now, conflicts do not just happen, they are the result of the interplay of several factors, top of which is a breakdown in communication. Let us glean some lessons from the story of Abigail on applicable tips in managing conflict: Take the initiative to resolve differences Avoid arguments and heated conversations Be willing to listen Apologize when wrong Involve a third party where you cannot resolve the conflict alone.

The Bible clearly gives us a model to follow in our pursuit of peace with men

It is my prayer that God grants you the wisdom to handle conflicts, so nothing stands in the way of your blessings this year in Jesus’ name. and it is found in Proverbs 15:1 ‘a gentle answer turns away wrath’.

It often takes a soothing word to tamper the effects of brewing anger. One important skill in resolving conflicts is the ability to stay calm and avoid raising voices when working through disagreements.

Will you be the woman who minds her relationship? who does not give room for strife to fester, who answers with a gentle word in heated conversations and where possible, who walks away when it becomes necessary to do so? Will you be the woman who always takes the lead in resolving disputes? Humanly speaking, it may appear difficult, and that is why you need the help of the Holy Spirit.

It is my prayer that God grants you the wisdom to handle conflicts, so nothing stands in the way of your blessings this year in Jesus’ name. q

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

13

Expert Speaks

Expert Speaks

personal finance

Leaky Pockets

By Babi Subair

W

hile I was away for 8 weeks in the summer, some ‘free’ money hit my account. By the time I came back from my holiday, I had over N1million in my current account. I came back from holiday at the beginning of September; by the beginning of October, all that money was gone.

What did I spend the money on? I can’t tell you. I can’t point to one significant thing that I did with the money. All I know is that–one day I went to the ATM to take out some money, and it was all gone!

The only redeeming factor is that because I have a direct debit set up on my current account to my savings account and each month a particular amount is deducted from my current account which goes into my savings account, about 0.3% of the money was saved.

Now, I’m looking for N1million to start a small project and like all entrepreneurs, I’m complaining that I don’t have capital. Is that true? Did I not just ‘blow’ N1million in less than a month on nothing?

14

I have often asked myself why it is that we find ourselves in this cycle of lack over and over again and we can’t seem to break out of it?By the time the end of the month comes around most people don’t seem to have enough money left to do anything at all, let alone invest in a portfolio of wealth producing

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

personal finance assets. But God doesn’t want us to be poor: “Above all things I desire for you to prosper and be in good health even as your soul prospers”.

Making money is relatively easy. But most people never achieve financial independence or prosperity as God designed. Why? Because accumulating wealth is a result of Knowledge Effective Strategies Patience Persistence Discipline Planning My first mistake: I didn’t pay my tithe on the money. There’s a quote that says “what you do with the first determines the rest”. Paying your tithe protects the rest of your money. God gives you supernatural wisdom that enables you to spend wisely being able to discern what is a priority and necessity. Also the money just seems to last longer and to go further; you are able to do more with the money and still have “plenty more to keep in store”.

However, I have found that any time I don’t pay my tithe, I experience what is termed ‘a leaky pocket or leaky bucket’ syndrome, where ones money just seems to drain away without leaving behind any traction. It is the biggest culprit that limits most people not accumulating wealth because of “holes in our pocket”.

How money evaporates I’m sure you are wondering how my

N1million evaporated? Well, it went on KFC and Dominos every other day; buying imported food from foreign supermarkets; buying 3 months stock of household items; getting the carpenter and electrician to come over for every small job; sending my driver on errands to Lekki several times a day via the toll bridge; buying ice cream everyday for my 3 children from the vendor outside their school; going to the salon to wash my natural hair every week; getting a new set of acrylic nails done every week; tipping the girls N1000 each every time I go to the salon; having a facial and massage; taking my girlfriends out for a meal; taking the kids to brunch at Southern Sun every Sunday after church; giving larger offerings in church and fellowship; getting a cleaning company to come to clean my house thoroughly; giving my driver N1000 everyday for transport and N2000 if he worked after 7pm; stocking up on organic hair products from Kinky Apothecary...

The problem in today’s consumer focused world is the conspicuous displays of consumption and leisure as

…to display wealth and income rather than to cover the real needs of the consumer. These all represent leaky pockets.

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

15

Expert Speaks

p ersonal finance you need to master your relationship with money – “The love of money is the root of all evil”. So, the first step is to plug the holes in your bucket.After you have done that you will be ready to save and invest. seen from my activities above, to display wealth and income rather than to cover the real needs of the consumer. These all represent leaky pockets.

So, check your pockets to see whether you need to have them quickly ‘patched up’. Just like a leaking pipe, we waste hard earned money when a financial leakage isn’t fixed.

Check if you are overpaying for products and services that you don’t need Cancel subscriptions to unread magazines that usually end up being drawer liners in the kitchen; or reduce the pay TV channels to only the ones you watch; or cancel the gym subscription you never go to and get a personal trainer that you pay as you go.

16

Reduce your spending: figure out how those that earn less than you survive; then strive to spend less each month. I often wonder how my driver survives on the monthly salary I pay him, considering I spend the same amount of money on one meal when I go out with friends.

My second problem was that I had no plans for the money. “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”. So, when I got the windfall, I didn’t know what to do with the money. I didn’t have a plan for the money, so I couldn’t develop a budget to guide my spending. You need to have a budget for everything, even for giving offerings in church! The greatest challenge is to maintain the financial discipline required to be persistent and consistent and to stick to the budget.

Now my children understand that KFC is a treat meant for special occasions and that they only get ice cream twice a week from the street vendor outside school.

Finally, you need to master your relationship with money – “The love of money is the root of all evil”.

So, the first step is to plug the holes in your bucket.

After you have done that you will be ready to save and invest. q

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Advert

Expert Speaks

Expert Speaks

h ealth

health

Feeling Good?

Part 1

Wholesome Living In 2014

By Sherese Ijewere

W

elcome to 2014! Out with our old habits and time to adopt and adjust to new beginnings. Let’s first start by ridding our body of the toxins we put in over the holidays and throughout 2013.

Part 1 focuses on detoxing.

Why Detox?

Detox is a process of removing unwanted and damaging materials (toxins) from the body. Daily, our bodies are exposed to a myriad of foreign materials including; chemicals, food items, bacteria, and viruses that are unhealthy and damaging to the body. Many of these toxins slowly damage various organs in the body including the liver, the kidneys, the skin, the brain and the blood vessels to name a few.

The body is endowed with its own natural detox system. The primary detox organ is the 18

Liver, and other organs which assist the liver include; the Kidneys, the skin, the intestines and the lungs. However, these systems are overloaded by our lifestyles and our environment of contemporary existence. Thus, detoxing helps the organs to rest and rejuvenate.

It stimulates the liver to process and remove toxins, improves blood circulation and promotes elimination of toxins via; the bowels, and the kidneys and the skin.

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

How do toxins enter the body?

There are four basic avenues through which toxins enter the body: Our mouths — we eat them Our noses — we inhale them Our skins — we rub them on Our genitals Many of the chemicals added to our foods (fruits, vegetables, meat and fish) are toxic to the body. These include chemical fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, steroids and hormones fed and injected into cattle and poultry, chemical flavors, coloring and preservatives added to processed foods.The quantities of toxins may be small but they accumulate over time, and slowly, but surely damage and degenerate our bodies.

Our air is polluted with vehicular exhaust and diesel fumes. Our offices, homes and cars have toxins from the chemicals and odors in the carpets, paints, furniture and household cleaners.

Our hair products, skin cosmetics, anti-perspirants and related chemicals also enter the body and blood stream.

We all know about the diseases transmitted through sex. However, do we know about the chemicals in tampons, pads and other feminine hygiene products? Do we know that our genital areas are loaded with blood vessel and these chemicals also enter the blood stream?

When to detox?

Our bodies give us signs and symptoms of our toxic load. These include;

detoxing helps the organs to rest and rejuvenate. It stimulates the liver to process and remove toxins, improves blood circulation and promotes elimination of toxins… unexplained fatigue, poor sleep, acne, allergies, recurrent infections, bags under the eyes, feeling bloated, pot-belly, constipation, menstrual difficulties, feelings of depression, chronic headaches, lack-luster hair and obesity. In more severe cases, chronic exposure to these toxins contributes to chronic and degenerative diseases, such as Diabetes, Hypertension, Autoimmune disorders like Multiple Sclerosis and Rheumatoid Arthritis, Allergies and Asthma, Arthritis, and Cancer.

Detox Regularly At Caribbean Health and Nutrition, we recommend regular Detoxing based on your lifestyle and toxic load.

D e t o x M o n t h l y — H i g h s t r e s s lifestyle, and/or have chronic disease Detox Quarterly (every 3 months) — Low Stress lifestyle and/or no chronic disease. q

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

19

feature interview

My vision is for Nigeriato be the ICT hub for Africa —Mrs. Mobola Johnson  Interview by ‘DETOUN OGWO

H

on Mrs Omobola Johnson is a woman of repute and a leader-per-excellence.

Having delivered excellently in her role as Country Director at Accenture, a position she held from 2005, she went on to embrace National service in July, 2011. Prior to this appointment, she served as an Independent Director for Diamond Bank Plc. from August 2010 - July 14, 2011 and was also Director of Custodian and Allied Insurance Plc. until July 2011. She holds a Bachelor's Degree in Electrical and Electronic Engineering from the University of Manchester and a Masters degree in Digital Electronics from King's College, London.

Her appointment as Minister of the Federal Ministry of Communication Technology was a unanimous consensus by all involved in her selection process.

Nigeria’s political system is challenged with a whole lot of negatives, yet, in the midst of all this negativity, Mrs Omobola Johnson stands tall, showcasing outstanding achievements and an enviable record of performance as first Minister of this ministry.

In 2013, she launched the National Broadband Council, which culminated in the National Broadband plan – a plan created to deliver efficient broadband service across the nation and provide internet access to every Nigerian by 2018. She also pioneered the Get-Government-Online (GGO) project; standardizing all websites belonging to MDAs and making them easier to access. In partnership with the private sector, her ministry is creating a conducive environment for young enterprising Nigerians to reach beyond the deficits of the world around them, get innovative and leverage on the power of technology.

The Woman Leader Team had a chance to discuss extensively with Mrs Omobola Johnson, and it was truly an invaluable insight into her work, life, career and thoughts. 

20

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

21

feature interview

feature interview

We have followed your inspirational story in the media over the years and will like to learn anew–what drives you? What are you deeply passionate about?

I want to do well. I want to make a difference. I want to prove that women can be successful at whatever they put their hands and heart to. I have been fortunate in the sense that; throughout my career in Accenture and in government, I have enjoyed what I do and this (of course) makes my doing well a lot easier. What really drives me is seeing a plan or a concept put into action or made a reality so; in a sense, you could call me an ‘’execution freak”

Who and what ideology has influenced you the most in your personal and career life?

I can’t really put my finger on any one particular ideology as a major influence.

Who I am today is a culmination of; my family background, my parents and the way they brought up me and my siblings, the schools I went to, my teachers, friends I made along the way, people I worked with and those I chose to mentor me.

However, the most powerful influence of all was my upbringing. My parents taught us to respect all people, they taught us discipline, they taught us that hard work would always be rewarded no matter how long it took, they taught us how to love without condition, they taught us that Christianity was not only about going to church but living you life in accordance with Godly principles even when nobody was watching. The thing about this upbringing is that they didn’t sit us down and have family meetings to teach us these things – this is how they lived their lives and we learnt from that.

What values are you committed to?

The values I am committed to are; integrity, doing to others only as I would do to myself, hard work, discipline, contentment . In a sense, all my values can be rolled into the Ten Commandments!

What does your current role as Minister of Information and Communications Technology entail

22

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

The values I am committed to are; integrity, doing to others only as I would do to myself, hard work, discipline, contentment.” and how does the work of the ministry affect the average Nigerian?

Let me start wit my vision and then I can talk about my role within that vision.

My vision is for Nigeria to be the ICT Hub for Africa – the hub for innovation in ICT, the country where the role of ICT in socio-economic development is strategic and visible , the place to come to for ICT skills all along the value chain. So, my role in delivering that vision as the Minister of Communication Technology is to develop policies for the ICT sector that will deliver on that vision via: ensuring that there is an enabling environment (affordable internet all over the country, skills, good regulation, funding etc) for ICT businesses to thrive and grow, creating opportunities in the ICT sector for job and wealth creation especially for young people, ensuring that ICT is integrated into all aspects of our national life and that we are leveraging ICT to improve the well being of our people. Monitoring the impact and outcomes of these policies as they are executed are also a key part of my job; ensuring that the policies, when implemented, are delivering the desired results and amending or fine tuning them

as time goes on to take current realities and context into consideration, which is key as the environment in which policies are implemented is constantly changing.

What lasting change are you hoping the sector will effect, particularly for millions of unemployed and underserved youth?

Most young people have a natural affinity for ICT and they are enthralled by the successes of global icons like Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook, Steve Jobs, of Apple, Bill Gates of Microsoft, who started IT businesses when they were very young and are phenomenally successful today. The environment that they were in was a major ingredient in their successes. So, one of the major initiatives in the Ministry is to create an environment where young aspiring ICT (software) entrepreneurs can thrive – establishing business incubators across the country where ideas can be birthed, tested, supported and nurtured to become full fledged businesses, having a network of mentors that will support these young entrepreneurs so that their chances of success are higher and providing venture capital and seed

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

23

feature interview

feature interview

funding for these businesses, especially in their early stages when they do not really have the credit history or size to borrow from traditional banks. The barriers to entry of the software industry are lower than most sectors – all you need is creativity,good coding skills, a certain amount of tenacity, a willingness to team, and a desire to succeed. Apart from software development there are tremendous opportunities in the ICT industry – hardware, outsourcing, services – and we are creating an awareness of these opportunities and working to channel the energy of the youth into this sector. ICT is a great way to engage youths and begin to change the profile of unemployment in our youths.

This is the lasting change that I hope to put in place in my time as ICT Minister.

You recently spoke at the WIMBIZ conference on the need for women to stay plugged into the new economy.

Can you please, briefly share what women need to know and practice about leveraging technology to their advantage?

The new economy is the economy that is driven by ICT. This new economy is growing very fast – faster than our traditional economy and if women, or anyone for that matter, refuse to get ‘plugged in', they get left behind.

Women need to conquer their natural fear of technology and embrace new technologies wholeheartedly.

What skills and strengths set you apart from your peers and as a role model?

I really don’t know the answer to that question! But maybe I am a bit of a workaholic, I have great staying power when it comes to work. I am a fairly focused person and quite tenacious when it comes to getting results. I can also be quite meticulous – definitely not a

one of the major initiatives in the Ministry is to create an environment where young aspiring ICT (software) entrepreneurs can thrive – establishing business incubators across the country where ideas can be birthed, tested, supported and nurtured to become full fledged businesses, having a network of mentors that will support these young entrepreneurs so that their chances of success are higher and providing venture capital and seed funding…”

24

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

perfectionist but I do like things to be done properly and well.

My advice to young women coming up the ladder? Stay focused on your goal, trust your instincts and do what you love not what someone tells you to do. Never do anything just for the money because the truth is that if you are doing the right thing the money will surely come. Lastly and quite importantly; know yourself – never try to be someone you are not regardless of what is going on around you.

There is a general perception–often referred to as the Queen Bee syndrome–that very successful women do very little to help other women climb up the ladder. Do you agree with this?

These are perceptions and myths that are perpetuated by men and unfortunately some women too!

WIMBIZ and the many successful women organizations that we have in Nigeria that are making impact and creating value for other women in their own way, are already challenging that perception. The Board of Trustees of WIMBIZ are women who have voluntarily chosen to give back to other women and facilitate their success in whatever they choose to do. Thousands of women have benefited from WIMBIZ events and programs. We have been in

existence for over ten years now, with very successful leadership changes, the most successful being the new Chairperson who is not a founding member of the Board of Trustees and we are still going strong after more than ten years.. This to me is one example that breaks that perception and myth This one organization alone is a great challenge to that perception and there are many others. I have personally benefited from the mentoring and support of other women. To challenge this perception, women have got to visibly support other women, form strong networks of like minded women and come together to negate these perceptions just like the women of WIMBIZ and many other women organizations have done. continued on page 28

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

25

o n a lighter note

on a lighter note

I am daddy and I am not your friend

By Toni Kan

B

ack when we were young, you knew a father when you saw one and that was because fathers behaved in a certain way: They did not hug their children; if the baby soiled himself while in his father’s arms, the man would shout “mama tobi, come and carry your son!”; they did not attend school events; they did not wipe snort; if the child failed at exams he would scream at his wife “see, your son has failed again; If the child passed he would smile to himself “see, my son has come first again”; when the kids heard his car drive in they scampered inside; when he stepped into the living room they changed the channel to NTA news.

But today

26

Pastor Taiwo and DSTV has changed everything. First, why did the DSTV decide on over 150 channels if not to make fathers lose their ‘fatherness’ and why does Pastor Taiwo keep talking about men and father’s being more in tune with their children if not to make us sissies?

My father and I have not been on good terms for about 2 months now.

(Pastor Taiwo please skip this part) I know, I know but you see sometimes we have to disagree to agree. It is necessary.

He is insisting on being a father the old way.

But Pastors who are very familycentric like Pastor Taiwo keep insisting that we must be new fathers, Christian fathers, wife loving fathers, children hugging fathers, diaper changing fathers, TV sharing fathers.

This TV issue has come up again and again, so let me address it. From the day we bought our first DSTV decoder, my wife and I agreed that we must buy a

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Dual view to avoid wahala. So, we did and peace reigned until the kids came and then I realised we should have bought Triple view.

My wife would sit in the bedroom and watch her favourite channels while the kids would sit in the living room and watch the Cartoon Network and Discovery channels.

Whenever I got home and felt like watching TV, I had to apply the wisdom of Solomon. Where did my power lie?

If I told Madam to change the channel, the couch would be my bed. If I told the children to change the channel their “I am not your friend again” would haunt me.

Which brings me to a point, me and my friends understood when we were kids. Our fathers were not our friends.

They were our fathers. So, where did our children get this “you are not my friend again” from? Did someone say Pastor Taiwo?

Well, the TV thing got so bad that whenever I walked in the children would hide the remote!

In my days, who born you? TV did not even have remote sef so what were you going to hide? Children would watch TV from 4 to 8 and then once

Daddy sat in his favourite chair to watch you vamoosed.

But am I my children’s friend?

Yes, I am. Am I proud to be? Yes I am.

I am the hugging and kissing and tv sharing kind of dad. Never mind that my son always wipes his cheek after I have kissed him. (He will come round, macho boy!) I try to attend school events and when I meet celebrities I make sure I get them to sign an autograph for my daughter because if I mention that I ran into DBanj at an event or was interviewed on Channels tv, my daughter never forgets to ask “So, did you tell them you have a lovely daughter called Awele?”

And who do I have to thank for that. This church and our pastors for making us put family first. From the day I got married, I told God that my family would always come first and I know I have kept true to that.

My children are my friends. We share with and cheer up one another.

We are family and as they grow and make more friends and my daughters fall in love (Shudders!!!) I hope they will still look back and remember their oldest friend, Daddy. q

My children are my friends. We share with and cheer up one another. We are family and as they grow and make more friends and my daughters fall in love…

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

27

feature interview

feature interview

continued on page 25 Some contend that the Church has not contributed enough to the development of our nation. Personally, do you think the church has risen to the occasion in influencing our sociopolitical discourse? What will you recommend that the church do in practical terms, to engender national transformation?

My definition of the Church is not a building or an institution. My definition of the church is a gathering of people hungry for Jesus, who are willing to sit at His feet and learn how to live useful and impactful lives before being called

…the role of the church is to nurture and feed the hunger of people by instruction that is based solely on the word of God, helping them to increase their faith, encouraging them to trust in God in all situations and instilling biblical principles in the best possible way that will not fall apart when temptations or difficulties come.”

28

to glory. Therefore in my view the role of the church is to nurture and feed the hunger of people by instruction that is based solely on the word of God, helping them to increase their faith, encouraging them to trust in God in all situations and instilling biblical principles in the best possible way that will not fall apart when temptations or difficulties come. It is these people that will then go out and influence social and political discourse, bringing all those biblical principles, tenets, teachings, experiences to play in the physical world. This is how we see the power of the Church outside Church.

Given gender disparities in leadership, do you think the church has a role to play in the global agenda to move more women into leadership positions? How can the church better provide guidance and support to those already in public leadership?

The church has a very important role to play especially from the point of view of the biblical principle or tenet that all men are equal before God. God does not discriminate between men and women so why should we? The Church must therefore be at the forefront, encouraging and supporting women who aspire to be or are already in leadership positions. I think that The Woman Leader magazine is a fantastic example of what the Church can do. We come together to encourage each other, share experiences, learn from each other and know that we are not alone as we face the myriad

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

of challenges that women face in the workplace especially in leadership positions.

There are opinions that inefficiencies and mediocrity in the Nigerian public sector poses a far bigger problem than endemic corruption. What is your take on this?

Unfortunately inefficiency and mediocrity is pervasive in our national life not just in the public service – ask any entrepreneur that runs a business in Nigeria today!.

I n e f f i c i e n c y, mediocrity and corruption are vicious cycles we have to breaking both private and public sectors.

challenges in each of these sectors?

The transition was actually not that difficult. I started this job thinking that I had very little preparation for a Ministerial position – I had worked in the private sector all my life. Even though I had done some consulting in the public sector, it really is not the same as 'working' in the public sector.

I had very little involvement or even interest in politics beyond the short episodic periods of elections. But as I got into the job I realized that all the skills that I had developed during my career in the private sector were the ones that I was deploying and getting results – deliberate and purposeful planning, focus on execution, discipline in the delivery of results, pushing and encouraging people to do their best – and yes even public

God does not discriminate between men and women so why should we? The Church must therefore be at the forefront of encouraging and supporting women who aspire to be or are already in leadership positions.”

You served so well and so long in the private sector prior to public service. How would you describe the transition and what are the unique opportunities and

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

29

feature interview

feature interview

servants respond to incentives and encouragement.

The opportunities and challenges are actually the same in the private and public sector – some are just more prominent in the private sector than the public sector and vice-versa. One unique opportunity in the public sector is the opportunity to serve your country at the highest level and work to make a difference to the prosperity and positioning of your nation. The challenge is understanding and navigating the intricacies of partisan politics. Even if I am a technocrat and not a politician, I am a political appointee and must have an understanding of partisan politics.

What role has your faith played in shaping your convictions? Are there areas of conflict between your faith and your life in public service?

My faith has played a very strong role and in a sense, it is what has kept me rooted and grounded and able to navigate and deal with compromise as best as I can. In public and private sector there are sacrifices and compromises

that one has to make to make progress and deliver results but, being rooted and grounded in faith and in the teachings of the bible is what keeps me going.

The fear of God is the beginning of all wisdom – if I fear God then I will receive the wisdom that I need. I will not be tempted beyond what I can bear – because the temptations are indeed great. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me – I cannot do this on my human strength alone, if anybody lacks wisdom let him ask – I pray for the superior wisdom of God every day to help me make the right decisions, grant me divine insight into all things because the heart of man is wicked. I am a terror to the devil – because if you approach the devil timidly he will destroy you – you approach evil with confidence and courage and terrorize it with the knowledge and wisdom God has already given you, whatever I lay may hands on shall prosper, faithful are you that have called me and you will do it – I did not ask or lobby for this job, it was the last thing on my mind or even in my plans after leaving Accenture. I believe

My faith has played a very strong role and in a sense, it is what has kept me rooted and grounded and able to navigate and deal with compromiseas best as I can. In public and private sector there are sacrifices and compromises that one has to make to make progress and deliver results.”

30

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

…the trick to having a balanced life is to develop that inner sensor that tells you when some areas of your life need to be prioritized and deserve your focus and attention. Most women actually have that inner sensor but, it is when we ignore it that we fall into the trap of not balancing our lives.” so strongly God called me to this job and since he called me he is faithful enough to give me all that I need to do this job well and do it to the way that He wants me to do it. In all things, I give thanks and I know all things work for the good of those that love the Lord and are called in accordance with his glory. There are times when I am overwhelmed by the work, the corruption, the inefficiency, the mediocrity, the insincerity, and the politics but, these verses keep me going: Pray without ceasing – for sure my prayer life could be better but I have seen the power of prayer at work in my life. And then there are the dangerous ones – my enemies shall eat of their own flesh and drink their own blood, no weapon that is fashioned against me shall prosper and and every tongue that rises up against me in judgement shall be shown to be in the wrong.

Can you share with us how you have been able to achieve the delicate balance of combining the roles

of wife, mother and public servant, especially considering the perception that women cannot have it all?

What do you do personally to live a balanced life?

In truth, we talk about a balanced LIFE overall; not a day-to-day balanced life so; I guess the first thing I have realized is that you can only have a balanced life over your lifetime. There are times when your career will be the priority and that will be your focus; times when your husband will be a priority; times when your children will be priority and; times when you will be a priority and you will–in a sense–park everything else while you focus on that.

So the trick to having a balanced life is to develop that inner sensor that tells you when some areas of your life need to be prioritized and deserve your focus and attention. Most women actually have that inner sensor but, it is when we ignore it that we fall into the trap of not balancing our lives. And anyway nobody can have it all. Life is full of sacrifices

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

31

feature interview To aspiring and accomplished women leaders —Be bold be courageous, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you…” and that means having to give things up and not having all we want or think we want.

As an intellectual who mentors aspiring women leaders, what 5 key books will you recommend as must reads and why?

I wish I could recommend 5 key books but I can’t. I read so widely that I can’t name any one book or 5 key books that have influenced my life and in truth while I do love reading I read for enjoyment,so I tend to read mostly fiction – but you will be amazed at what you can learn from fiction.

Finally, please share some parting thoughts with us?

To aspiring and accomplished women leaders–Be bold be courageous, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you – go forth with confidence and show the world what you are made of. q

32

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Advert

family

family

Your Expectations Will Not be Cut Off

By Pastor Nomthi Odukoya

For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off.

Proverbs 23:18

34

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

H

appy New Year! every New Year comes with the hope that things will take a new turn in our lives. An expectation of something new is what motivates us to get out of bed each morning to face the day. Even when things are not particularly going well, we still get up with new hope to try again. While some people may lose hope along the way; becoming depressed and staying in bed day in and day out, you should not. The attitude of defeat should be avoided like a plague because it breeds nothing but destruction. Brian Tracy says “Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.”

An expectation is a strong belief that something will happen. Your desired reality can be created by your expectations and actions. This reminds me of the story of Dr. Mary Groda Lewis.

She was born with dyslexia and endured sixteen years of illiteracy because it was unrecognised. She was committed to a reformatory on two different occasions, and almost died of a stroke during childbirth. Committed to going to college, she worked odd jobs to save money, graduated with her high school equivalency at eighteen, was named Oregon’s outstanding Upward Bound student, and finally entered college.

Determined to become a doctor, she faced fifteen medical school rejections until Albany Medical College finally

accepted her. In 1984, Dr. Mary GrodaLewis, at age thirty-five, graduated with honours to fulfil her dream. Despite these seeming obstacles, she reached all her goals and fulfilled her dreams.

Oral Roberts at most of his healing crusades sang the song: Expect a miracle every day Expect a miracle when you pray If you expect it God will find a way To perform a miracle for you each day This is is absolutely true of the nature of God. No wonder Oral recorded hundreds of thousands of outstanding miracles.

The Bible says “The expectations of the righteous shall not be cut off.” This presupposes that the righteous has an expectation. What then happens to a righteous man without any expectation?

Most of the miracles Jesus did in the Bible were in response to the question “What do you want me to do for you?” In other words, what are your expectations? Don’t go through 2014 without any expectation(s). Orison Swett Marden said “Your expectation opens or closes the doors of your supply.

If you expect grand things, and work honestly for them, they will come to you; your supply will correspond with your expectation.”

What do you want in 2014?

The answer to the above will prevent you from settling for less than you can possibly be or get. Many people have failed job interviews or short-changed

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

35

family

just for good

You will not die but live to see the manifestation of all your expectations in Jesus name. Dare to have an expectation regardless of its possibility or otherwise in human sense. Create your expectation(s) with your words and actions. themselves because of this simple question.

Infants are particularly good with their expectations. If children ask for sweets and you give them fruits, they kick and scream until you give them what they are expecting. Though an unwelcome behaviour, I would implore us to kick out negative thoughts that seek to distract us from going for the best God has for us.

When a woman is pregnant, it is said that she is expecting a baby. During this period it is the hope and anticipation of a new baby that keeps her going and fighting on no matter how eventful the pregnancy might be. Likewise, an expectant person will make every challenge a stepping stone to new heights.

Even if the manifestation of the expectation seems delayed, like Job, wait for your change will definitely come (Jobs 14:14). No one orders food from an eatery and leaves without the order.

Mary Groda-Lewis did not give up despite the rejection from the universities till the sixteenth accepted her. You will not exit 2014 without all that God has 36

in store for you. There will be no carryover into 2015 in Jesus name. You will reach your goal and achieve all your expectations before the end of the year in Jesus name.

Alan Dundas, an anthropologist and folklorist, once said ‘Future orientation is combined with a notion of progress and nothing is impossible.’ Interestingly, the great teacher Jesus Christ said it first: ‘Nothing is impossible for those who believe’ (Matthew 17:20). And there is no believing without an expectation (something to believe for). God will always meet and surpass your level of expectation (Ephesian 3:20). Therefore, don’t expect just little things.

You will not die but live to see the manifestation of all your expectations in Jesus name. Dare to have an expectation regardless of its possibility or otherwise in human sense. Create your expectation(s) with your words and actions.

2014 is a year where all your expectations will be supernaturally met in Jesus name. q

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

A voice for youth

T

Toyosi Akerele

oyosi, has spent most of her growing years shaping Nigerian Communities though Youth Education and Capacity Building. She is a respected advisor, content expert and commentator on issues of Entrepreneurship, Education and Governance.

Worthy alumnus of the United States Government’s Prestigious International Visitor Leadership Program for emerging Leaders, she was described by Mrs. Michelle Obama the First Lady of the United States as one of her personal inspirations in a televised address to America as a prelude to her arrival in Africa for the Young African Women Leaders Forum of which Toyosi remains the only Nigerian me mber till date.

TWL: How did you get so inspired to become the woman you are today in the midst of seeming societal disadvantages?

Toyosi: I have always believed that every woman can have it all. I come from a predominantly dysfunctional background, my parents separated when I was very young and as a result, I have had to work very hard for everything I ever had. In the process I

have learned that life doesn’t give you what you deserve, life gives you what you decide. For instance, growing up in secondary school, I used to be the butt of everybody’s jokes because of my voice. All the boys used to mimic me because I had a very deep voice. Those were things that tackled my self esteem greatly and I always felt I wasn’t good enough. But one thing stood out for me,

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

37

j ust for good

just for good from Nigerian youths, when we don’t even have access to quality education.

The systems that are supposed to allow the average Nigerian youth to flourish in terms of potential and capacity do not exist.

I stayed focused on the things I did in school, and I decided to be consistent over the years, because I understood that there was much within me to offer than what people could say about me.

TWL: How would you describe the profile of the average Nigerian youth?

Toyosi: Even though several people have described Nigerian youths to be angry and rebellious, I do not angry.

Moreso because believe such anger acknowledged is a derivative of certain raw materials, one of which is that primarily, we are a deprived generation.

Any country that invests huge resources in military without providing food, and basic amenities has a false sense of security. This is because security in itself is a byproduct of an environment where people can co-habit with some level of decorum. The anger of Nigerian youths come essentially from being deprived.

The systems that are supposed to allow the average Nigerian youth to flourish in terms of potential and capacity do not exist. It is an absolute irony to expect any form of cooperation and decorum 38

TWL: How do you think Nigerian youths can create the change the desire?

Toyosi: You don’t face today’s challenges with yesterday’s knowledge. This is one of the problems the Nigerian youth has.

The absence of knowledge. There are 3 things a lot of Nigerian youths don’t have, they are as follows a. Skill b. Finance c. Right packaging TWL: What do you know now that you wish you had known earlier?

Toyosi: I wish I had learned a skill. But as far as desires goes, I will like to go to the war academy to learn Marshal Arts.

TWL: Who are the women who have inspired you and how do you think the gap between leaders today and aspiring women leaders can be bridged?

Toyosi: My mother has been a strong inspiration to me. I respect her very much. She taught me to be content with what I have. I watched my mum work hard. We were not a rich family but my mother had very good standards.

Asides from my mum, other people who have been of tremendous inspiration to me are Gamaliel Onosode, he taught me integrity, especially that when I say something I must mean it. Fela Durotoye, Mrs Adeola Azeez, Oby Ezekwesili, I love her to death. q

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

My Other Life:

Kingdom Investors Empowering kingdom minded women!

In the Beginning….

I had a very beautiful career spanning over twelve years in the banking industry and also had the privilege of climbing the corporate ladder quite rapidly, gaining cognate banking experience at a very young age. I was part of the team that set up Oceanic Bank in the early nineties–I joined as the pioneer treasurer of the bank. By the time I resigned I was in charge of the branch network.

As my job became very stressful, there was no job satisfaction–mostly due to the peculiar nature of the environment I worked in. I resigned without any exit strategy or plan B. I burnt so fast that I decided never to work in a bank again or any paid employment.

The Challenges My first challenge was insecurity due to lack of income and no substantial savings. My lifestyle was instantly transformed. Shortly after my resignation, I got married to my husband, Dr. NwachukwuNzegwu, and he began to support me. It took me a very long time to figure out what I wanted to do. Though most bankers resign to run consulting firms or trade, I knew I had always wanted to do something creative. I used my little savings to attend different trade fairs abroad and came back completely broke after V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

39

j ust for good

just for good

“As I was still thinking of what to do next and still shocked that I could also burn out so fast in my business, I decided to attend a capacity building program in entrepreneurship organized by the Enterprise Development Centre of Lagos Business School.” which I decided to set up Dugo limited which has evolved to become a brand that provides total creative solutions to personalization, recognition and brand promotion. We design, customize and stock promotional products, business gifts, awards/recognition items and timeless keepsakes. My only option since I did not have any capital was to borrow short term facility from the bank. This was the greatest mistake I made but, at that time, I did not have any alternative.

At that time, I did not know that entrepreneurship requires its own set of business skills especially in Nigeria where you need to be jack of all trade and master of all. The Book of Ecclesiastes 10 vs 10 says “if the axe is dull and one does not sharpen the edge then he must 40

use more strength but wisdom brings more success” By the time I realized I needed business training, I had already made so many wrong business decisions in the following areas: Wrong staff hiring decisions, Borrowing short term loan to fund fixed assets, Very porous record keeping/ control, Unbearably high overhead with no corresponding cash flow etc.

In a very harsh business environment such as Nigeria, SME owners hardly think of training themselves not to talk of training their staff, rather, focus is on the daily struggle for survival. Cash flow nightmares have become increasingly rampant, especially now that most women have become bread winners and banks are not making it easier at all!

For me it has been a long struggle with a lot of twists and turns; there were times I wanted to quit the business and go back to the banking industry because of the burden of debt I incurred – I borrowed money to buy equipment and was unable to repay the loan which began to accumulate with no regular income sustain loan repayment. All this time, my husband was always encouraging me and he constantly told me not to confuse the channel with the source because God is the source. During this trying time I promised God that I would use my time and resources to help other women especially Kingdom

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

minded Christian women whenever the challenge got lighter. I had thought this would be done after my retirement from active business life. It was at this stage that Pastor Taiwo Odukoya preached a profound message which spurred me to action. It was sometime in 2004 that he said: If you take care of God’s business, God will, in turn, take over your business. He said ‘Whenever God gives you a vision, he makes the provision.

As I was still thinking of what to do next and still shocked that I could also burn out so fast in my business, I decided to attend a capacity building program in entrepreneurship organized by the Enterprise Development Centre of Lagos Business School.

By the time I finished the program, I knew my axe could never be dull anymore. From then on I embarked on aggressive capacity building program for myself and my staff using experts in different fields. I went for different conferences, seminars, and tradeshows in Nigeria and abroad and I joined different associations both in Nigeria and abroad to expand my business network.

As I began to sharpen my business skills, the burden to help other women in similar situations became heavier for me.

work of God. They are THE KINGDOM I N V E S T O R S ! Wo m e n a r e v e r y passionate about their conviction and the more these women are empowered, the more they can take care of their families as well as give to God. The Bold Step Of Faith One Sunday, while I was still wondering how to raise money to fund my vision, Pastor Taiwo preached a message on the fight of faith. This propelled me further; after service that same day, I approached some women in the church who had urgent financial needs in their business and I promised to provide them with short-term micro finance at no interest rate. As at the time I made this promise, I was still struggling with my business but, that same day, God honoured me.

The Burden Based on my experience, I developed a huge burden in my spirit for business women especially the ones who invest their time, resources and talent in the V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

“In 2006, Kingdom Women Ministry was registered as a faith based non-governmental organization set up to empower business women especially committed Christian women. The ministry has six members of board of trustees” 41

j ust for good

just for good

My sister Kate called me to say that God asked her to provide some funds for this project. I therefore began to provide short term micro-credit facility to a few business women. The volume increased with increased proceeds from my business. I was so amazed at the testimonies of transformation in the businesses of these women even with such small amount of money.

However, as the fund grew, many more women benefited and with this came a high level of default. I therefore decided to stop the microcredit facility and went back to the drawing board to restrategize.

I n 2 0 0 6 , K i n g d o m Wo m e n Ministry was registered as a faith based

In 2006, we started the ‘BUILT TO LAST SERIES’. Here, women identify their training needs via questionnaires. Expert trainers and facilitators are then used to run free capacity building programs. We also plan to extend training to the staff of our participants.

42

non-governmental organization set up to empower business women especially committed Christian women. The ministry has six members of board of trustees and over the years we have been involved in the following; a. Free capacity building program for business women b. Enlightenment and networking c. Financial support through books subsidy to children of widows and single mothers d. P art-scholarship sponsorships for women who wish to obtain certificates in Entrepreneurship from Enterprise Development Centre e. Business counseling and mentoring Kingdom Investors Kingdom Investors is the capacity building arm of Kingdom Women Ministries, whose vision is to assist in the empowerment of business women Mission Our mission is to empower Christian business women through capacity building and enlightenment.

Built To Last Series In 2006, we started the ‘BUILT TO LAST SERIES’. Here, women identify their training needs via questionnaires. Expert trainers and facilitators are then used to run free capacity building programs. We also plan to extend training to the staff of our participants.

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Here are some of the various programs we have run so far: 1. Turning Your Hobby/ Passion Into A Business 2. Access to Funding For Your Business My Testimony For me, ‘Kingdom Investors’ has been the m a s t e r- k e y t h a t G o d has used to unlock breakthrough in so many areas of my life especially my business! The major funding for all the programs are from my company ‘Dugo Limited’ and family members. One of the beneficiaries of our micro credit facility is running a multi billion naira business today. Another beneficiary who started business in her boys’ quarters is running a multimillion naira business in a big facility in Victoria Island, Lagos.

So far, over 1,000 women have benefited from our various free capacity building programs and it is amazing to see businesses grow from nothing to so much, just because the relevant skills are acquired. We have also sponsored a few women on part-scholarships under the Goldman Sachs Certificate in Entrepreneurship Program in partnership with Enterprise Development Centre of

Pan African University.

Some of the students who are children of widows and single parents that we supported with book subsidies have graduated from the university in flying colours.

Finally, I have come to realize that all God wants from us is obedience and a willing heart. The greatest investment with lasting impact can only be in the lives of people and the best way to predict the future is to create it. q

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

43

p arenting

parenting

Raising Leaders

Intentionally W

By Olufunto Igun

e as parents, desire that our children shouldgrow up into emotionally healthy, responsible and intelligent leaders. However, the process of attaining this isnot without its challenges and difficulties. With selfabsorption raging in oursociety, this is hardly surprising. What practical steps can we then, take to develop leadership traits in our children?

Vision. Transmit hope for the future; hold out a vision of success and keep hope and belief alive even in stressful times.

Trust and integrity. Children need to trust you to act with integrity regardless of the situation. Trust and integrity also mean that you are honest with them and with others. Remember, you are their role model.

Motivate and inspire them to accomplish their goals. You must understand what motivates them so that you can interact and 44

communicate with them in a way that reinforces their belief in themselves and inspires them to do well. We are not to cast them into a mould but rather understand their uniqueness.

Clear, consistent, two-way communication. Listen to what your children are saying; ‘hear’ between the lines,understand their perspective, act with empathy, encourage and champion them, set expectations with clarity, and give immediate constructive feedback. Allow them to express their opinions.

Teach them to know their strengths, qualities and abilities. Discuss openly qualities you have exhibited at one time or another as well as how you resolved or achieved something.

Engage them in activities that will help to build leadership skills. Set upactivities that are exciting yet challenging, requiring creativity

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

and perseverance to complete.

Task them further by asking them to highlight appropriate leadership qualities required for such tasks.

Ask them to list or mention people who exhibit these strengths and share instances when these strengths can be applied.

Teach them to reflect and strategise.

Reflecting by highlighting and discussing qualities they have exhibited, what they have learned, what worked and what didn’t will help them strategiseand identify whatever they should have done and what they can do. It will also keep themfrom blaming others or making excuses.

Remember, it is our responsibility as parents to teach and nurture them and it is their right as children to be taught and nurtured.Be the parent…teach and nurture them and watch them grow into world-class leaders. q References: 1. http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/ topics/parenting/cultivating-kids-faith/ wedefineourselves.html 2. http://www.columbiaconsult.com/v34_jun03. html 3. Different Children, Different Needs. Dr. Charles F. Boyd with Robert A. Rohm 4. I Refuse to Raise a Brat. MariluHenner and Ruth Velikovsky Sharon.

5. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

45

social media & you

social media & you

Are You Plugged In? T

By Gbenga Sesan

he days, where the color of technology was masculine, are over. Increasingly, technology tools that were the exclusive preserve of geeks, now offer low barriers of entry and, it is safe to say that the definition of literacy has moved further up from just the ability to read write and use a computer, to include the ability to creatively use technology tools and platforms –without the need for 46

manuals or training courses. When you also consider the fact that your mobile phone is way more powerful than some of the most powerful computers that paraded the cold, uninviting rooms of Computer Science departments, and that the increasing power and functionalities of technology platforms come with ease of use; you will agree with me that: not taking advantage of these tools and platforms now come with fewer excuses.

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Social Media pushes the bar even higher, with its extreme simplicity and diverse applications; it provides a level playing field for all people across the globe. Earning its name from its unique combination of; social sharing social networks and media attributes, social media allows the user to pull and push information through the convenience of mobile devices and more. Popular social media platforms include; multipurpose Facebook, with 1.2 billion active monthly users- of which 11.4million are from Nigeria alone; micro-blogging platform, Twitter; picture sharing application, Instagram; video platform, YouTube and so much more. The power of social media has been seen in business, media, politics, education and more.

Women have equal opportunities as men on these media and have equal chances of success as their male counterparts if the potential of social media is fully explored. The question now is – are you plugged in? are you taking full advantage of social media available at your fingertips? If you are still confused as to how social media can benefit you, here are some ideas to get you started: Getting news and updates: how can you get updates and news on matters that affect or concern your business, be it on national or international level? Do you still wait to read yesterday’s news in today’s paper? The world has moved beyond that. Social media provides news and updates as they happen and help

you keep abreast of current events in real-time. If you refuse to keep up with trends on social media, you can be rest assured that your competition is way ahead of you. Social media allows you to easily subscribe to people, businesses and events that matter to the critical survival, growth and development of your business. The beautiful thing is that, you get all these for little or practically zero cost!

Information sharing: with social media, it’s never a one sided affair; you can give as much, even much more than you receive. I am sure there is a lot you cannot wait to share. Social media allows you to tell your story. You can

Popular social media platforms include; multipurpose Facebook, with 1.2 billion active monthly users- of which 11.4million are from Nigeria alone; microblogging platform, Twitter; picture sharing application, Instagram; video platform, YouTube and so much more.

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

47

R ecommended

social media & you recommendations on restaurants, tourist destinations, attraction sites, hotels, parks, etc. what more…I do not have to pay a dime to get all these information, they come to me free of charge!

Social media is the marketing tool for the future and it is essential that every forward-thinking business owner knows how to effectively and gainfully use this platform. inform your community of friends and followers about your new products and services or take advantage of the various advert packages available online to let the world know what you do. From new ideas, products, services and opportunities to the not-so-serious updates, social media allows you to gain and build loyal following that keeps your followers coming back and it helps you stay in touch with the people that matter to you. Remember; you are not the only one with opportunities to share, so be on the lookout for opportunities that can benefit you and your business.

Research and feedback: social media is a space begging to give answers. Whether it’s a quick question about traffic or varied opinion on a topic of interest, you can be sure of getting all the answers you need. When I arrive in a new city these days, I take advantage of social media 48

Cheap advertising: showcasing your goods and services on the social media platform comes with little or no cost.

You can easily pitch your products to the people in your circle and tell them to help you promote via – share tool for Facebook; retweets, hashtags and shoutouts for twitter; video share for YouTube, etc. Social media platforms also allow users to link up and synchronize their accounts on different social media pages so that posts made on one social media platform can be seen on other social media platforms. If you need paid advertising for your business, social media have affordable packages that you can take advantage of and with these; you are able to reach millions of users around the world for little cost as opposed to more expensive traditional methods of advertising.

Social media is the marketing tool for the future and it is essential that every forward-thinking business owner knows how to effectively and gainfully use this platform. Proper use of the right social media tools can translate to increased business visibility and presence online, increased customer base, increased revenue and profits, so–take advantage now! Get plugged in and stay plugged in! q

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Reading Holy Spirit, My Senior Partner By David Yonggi Cho f yo u s e e k a m o r e i n t i m a t e p e rs o n a l relationship with the Holy Spirit and you desire his gifts, you can have it all. Yonggi Cho provides nsight into how to tap into all these by discussing his personal experience and testimony. He helps us understand that everyone has a right to this relationship and shows us how this can help us achieve God’s purpose for our lives.

I

Entreleadership by Dave Ramsey ntreleadership gleans 20 years of practical business wisdom from the trenches for leaders and entrepreneurs at all levels. It provides step-by-step guidance on business growth, direction and expansion and helps business leaders understand the qualities of great leaders using real stories of world leaders and how they inspired their teams to success.

E

Pure Pleasure by Gary Thomas his is for the Christian feeling guilty about having and enjoying so much in the midst of people that lack. Gary helps us understand that Christ’s promise of a better life for God’s children is real and this promised life of abundance is beyond human imagination and understanding. He also reminds us that this better life does not come after death; rather – it comes with rebirth in God!

T

The Rules to Break by Richard Templar his is a great read for those who live life by the rules of other people. In this practical read, Richard provides fresh perspective on the most common imposter rules and challenges us to think, live life our way and create our own rules for living.

T

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

49

chef’s corner

chef’s corner

Fish with Haricot Vert Ingredients 3 Fillets of Kingklip or any firm, fresh white fish.

1 teaspoon. crushed garlic 1teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon. white pepper ½ tablespoon. butter 3table spoon water 2 table spoon, finely sliced spring onions (green parts) 2tablespoon finely chopped coriander Some foil paper or a lid to cover 200g Haricot Vert a.k.a Green Beans end trimmed off and if you have the patience trim of the stringy bit off.

2 teaspoons. garlic 2 teaspsoons butter 200g tomatoes finely chopped ½ teaspoon. dried mixed herb seasoning ½ teaspoon. Crushed garlic 6 small green chilies 1 small onion finely chopped 1 ½ tbsp. olive oil 50

Preparation 1. Start by prepping the fish. Season and place in the fridge for at least 10mins.

2. Place a small saucepan on the stove top and add enough water to blanch (cooking without color). Salt it to taste and add the garlic. When it reaches a boil, add the beans and cook for a minute. Drain most of the water, leaving about 3 tablespoons behind and put to one side.

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

3. In another saucepan, pour the oil. When it gets hot, sautéé the onions with the salt for about 60seconds, then, add the rest of the ingredients. Turn the heat to the lowest and allow it cook gently for 10mins.

Check for adequate seasoning.

4. In a pan (preferably non-stick) place the butter and when it starts to sizzle, place the fish presentation side down and allow it sear for a minute.

Flip the fillets, add the water and cover immediately with the lid or foil.

5. Make sure foil is loose so some steam can escape. Cook for another 90seconds and take the foil off.

Allow the left over water evaporate on a high heat and turn off the flame after 40 seconds. The residual heat would cook the fish to that opaque perfection!

6. Take the fish out of the pan and place somewhere warm or wrap loosely in the foil.

7. In the same pan add the butter or olive oil, then add the garlic, blanched green beans and cooking liquid.

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

Stir them around and cook on medium heat for about 3 minutes till it is tender.

8. Place the fish in the pan to give a final warm-through and press the presentation side on the herbs to form the herb crust or you can sprinkle it on top.

9. Serve this dish with a cold glass of white wine. Something with lemony sun kissed white grape taste.

10. Feel free to spritz some lemon over the fish before you tuck your fork in. q

51

Photo Credit: Adebayo Rotilu for Twelve 05 Foodography

By Chef Fregz

opinion

opinion Bible Reading: Psalm 31:14-15; Proverbs 23:17-18; Jeremiah 10:23; Ephesians 4:2-6 “You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.”

Psalm 73:24

I

A Hope and a Future

By TINUKE OLASHORE

52

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

begin by quoting an excerpt of Steve Job’s speech at the University of Stanford in 2005 “…you cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something…”

Here, he spoke on how he dropped out of college because he felt his working class adoptive parents were wasting their savings on his education since he could not see the value of it.

He decided to take calligraphy lessons because he found it fascinating and of course, at that time, he did not know that this would play a major part in his future. Years later, when the Macintosh computer was designed, the calligraphy he learnt became the basis for the beautiful typography of the Mac. Looking back, he found that the series of events in his life actually put him in the path of destiny. So many other things happened to him that the ordinary man would have termed “unfortunate” but later looking back such events only propelled him higher into his destiny. As I read the speech, In retrospect, I realized all the series of events from my past (good and bad)

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

have brought me where I am today, no matter what goes on in my life, I know it will work out for my good as I connect the dots backwards. I have stopped making an issue of whatever seems to be a “difficult or negative” situation today; I just put my trust in God knowing that He who holds my future will turn everything around for my good.

God can never fail His children.

None of us will ever be put to shame.

No matter how frightened we are, we must trust in Him; that the outcome of whatever we might be going through right now will be for our good and to his glory. When you look back a year from now and remember this so called “terrible” situation you are facing, you will give praise to God for taking you through this situation. Sometimes, these so called “unfortunate” incidents only push us back to the path God ordained for us. We sometimes make innocent decisions that we feel are best for us, but such decisions take us away from the path God has ordained for us.

Remember, we have a God who sees the whole picture and what may seem right for our friend might be wrong for us.We all have our different paths 53

opinion Don’t be weighed down by today’s troubles.

Remember: if you are a child of God, obeying and serving him faithfully, he will have your back—always.

Have faith; believe that the troubles of today will only propel you to your place of greatness tomorrow. in life and every time we make a decision that takes us away from that path, God intervenes, no matter how hurtful the experience might be.

I always say in my prayers that God should make all the decisions for my family and I. If we make a decision that will take us away from His chosen path for us innocently, His mercy should prevail and bring us back and; as I connect the dots of my life backwards I have seen it happen over and over again.

He intervened in different situations when I was growing up; trying to make sure that the path I was walking was the right path. Some of the things that seemed like failure to me then, were only driving me back to the path He wanted for me. I had a few delays in my life and now–looking back–I look at those delays 54

and I am extremely grateful for them because; I now can see how immature I was at the time. If God had not caused these delays, I would definitely not be the Atinuke I am today. He caused things to happen when I was choosing who to marry and I am so grateful to Him for causing those things to happen at that time so that I would be married to “AyanfeMi” today. As I reminisce this morning, I am filled with overflowing joy as I think of where I am today and I am filled also with great hope that my future and the future of my family will be very great.

Don’t be weighed down by today’s troubles. Remember: if you are a child of God, obeying and serving him faithfully, he will have your back—always. Have faith; believe that the troubles of today will only propel you to your place of greatness tomorrow.

Think back, connect the dots and see what the Lord has done with past disappointments. I am grateful He called me at such a young age and He took His time molding me to become who He created me to be. Because He is faithful, He is still molding and intervening in my business. His mercy is still saying “No” to wrong situations and His grace is still helping me hold on when things are tough. I am not worried about what today brings anymore because I know who fights in my corner, I am ready to face tough situations because I know ultimately, they bring me to a place of greater faith in God. q

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Advert

f ashion & style

What’s Your Style Code?

Recognizing your unique sense of style dressing your body, your beauty, your self

fashion & style

1

Dramatic: This style projects a bold and sophisticated image. The entire look is striking and clothes are typically but not necessarily of haute couture designer brands. This style of clothing is characterized by bold accessories, bold and contrasting colours e.g. black and white, prints, oversized geometrics etc. It is a fashion forward appearance, striking and head-turning.

2

Traditional: This style projects a conservative and business like image. The look is tasteful and well groomed. Style of clothing is timeless, moderate, not too dressy, not too casual.

Suits with matching jackets, classic pumps, understated makeup.

by Yetunde Bankole-Bernard

E

veryone seems to have an opinion of what Style is. One thing rings true, Style is a distinctive expression that differs from one person to another.

In recognizing your unique sense of Style, there are various areas to consider such as Body Style (silhouette and type), Personal Style and Age, Lifestyle, Career Style and Personal Colouring and Texture. I would like to add another; Personality type.

An individual is a product of his/her environment and therefore has a unique way which he/she perceives or wants to be perceived.

Have you ever owned an outfit that gave you the feeling of ‘This is just ME’?

Such occasion reflected your Personal Styleyour inborn tendency to feel the most authentic in a particular way of putting yourself together.

For the purpose of this article, I want to focus on to Six (6) categories of styles which are; Dramatic, Traditional, Elegant, Romantic, Sportive, Relaxed.

56

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

identify your personal style and embrace it so as to project an authentic personal image and ultimately build self confidence and esteem.

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

57

f ashion & style

3

fashion & style

Elegant: This style projects a refined and dignified image.. The style of clothing is formal and dignified. Clothes and accessories are top quality worn for status and prestige. Characterized by tone-ontone, monochromatic color schemes, coordinate clothes, shoes and handbags to match the outfit.

4

Romantic: This style projects a soft and feminine image. The look is gentle, pristine and delicate. Style of clothing is detailed and demure.

look is sportive and resembles outdoor activity attire. It is mature, aggressive yet approachable. Clothing and accessories are practical and sturdy, selected for function and durability. Classic trousers, Button down shirts, plaids and stripes, turtle necks and polo sweaters etc.

6 Hair and make-up are soft and pretty.

Accessories include the use of laces, flowers, bows and ruffles. It is a nonclassic unstructured style which has a graceful quality.

5

Sportive: This style projects an assertive, commanding, independent and athletic image. The

58

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Relaxed: This style projects a friendly, casual image. The look is wholesome, carefree and natural. Clothing and accessories are practical, selected for function and fun. Layered clothing, turn up collars, denims, caps etc.

A fun and relaxed manner in dressing, the clothing is untailored and informal, exemplifying leisure.

Yo u m a y find yourself primarily in one

of the descriptions or in a combination. You could be an Elegant Traditional for instance or a Dramatic Romantic.

The overall aim is to identify your personal style and embrace it so as to project an authentic personal image and ultimately build self confidence and esteem.

It is important to note that in embracing your identified personal style, you do have to consider being age appropriate. A Dramatic in her 30‘s for example may not look the same as a Dramatic in her 50‘s.

There would be varying factors such as activities and lifestyle for instance.

Body proportions may also change and styling considerations should focus on highlighting or camouflaging features appropriately.

Style really does come from within.

It’s as simple as what you like and what you don’t. Learn what works for you by trying it out.

Experiment, discover and consistently create looks in harmony with your body, your personality, the places you go and what you do.

You may also want to consider getting your personal style/personality evaluation done professionally or get help from an Image coach to get you going. q

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

59

Your Life Is a

Discovery for Women

Sights, Stories and more...

Bundle

of Opportunities.

Genesis 1:28

WORSHIP WITH US MONDAY SINGLES FELLOWSHIP

6pm

TUESDAY Bible Study & Prayer Meeting

6pm

ThUrSDAY Showers ( Praise & Worship)

9am

Discovery Pictures SUNDAY SErvicE

7am &10am

12, Industrial Estate Rd, Off Town Planning Way, Ilupeju, Lagos. » Tel: +234-709 8505 186/7 » Web: www.tfolc.org

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

61

Women, Worship & Word = Possibilities

Discovery Pictures

62

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Discovery Pictures

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

63

Discovery for Women

Discovery Pictures

64

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

Discovery Pictures

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

65

Expert Speaks

Expert Speaks

p ersonal effectiveness

From Madiba with Soul

By Kunle Soriyan

A

t the tail end of 2013, the world stood still in honour of a great icon.

Power centers all over the world as well as the weakest constituencies across the globe paused to celebrate a fellow human being. The prejudices between nations, political and national interest, and the sentiments that divides the world through colour, race, and religion were suspended for a moment by the needful expression of mourning and celebration. To think that the life of one man is the driver of this scenario is instructive.

I mean the whole world gathering to celebrate a black man? An African?

Then the content of the life of such a personality is worth studying.

I have spent the last few days rereading his thoughts and commentaries and making new sense in a way that works for my necessary advancement on my unique journey of life. I am appreciating his wisdom in ways that works for my meaning 66

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

personal effectiveness and fulfillment. But in the midst of all the eulogies, I must not pretend that I know that the best lessons in a man’s life are not usually in his strengths and triumphs, but in his weaknesses and failures. So, I am also studying his regrets as a deliberate attempt to manage my times better, by using the lessons of those who went ahead of me to define the limits of the kind of experiences I must have.

Now, Mandela chose a path to walk, but he chose that part at the expense of the greatest meaning and fulfillment the human life can experience. On pages 283, 284 and 285 of his book ‘Long Walk to Freedom’, he wrote about how his first marriage to Evelyn Mase, which was blessed with four children disintegrated and led to a divorce. On pages 286287 of the same book, Mandela wrote extensively on the impact of the breakup on the children: ‘The breakup of any marriage is traumatic, especially for the children. Our family was no exception, and all of the children were wounded by our separation. Makgatho took to sleeping in my bed. He was a gentle child, a natural peacemaker and he tried to bring about some sort of reconciliation between me and his mother. Makaziwe was still was small, and I remember one day, when I was not in prison or in court, I visited her crèche unannounced.

She had always been a very affectionate child, but that day, when she saw me, she froze. She did not know whether to run to me or retreat, to smile or to

Mandela chose a path to walk, but he chose that part at the expense of the greatest meaning and fulfillment the human life can experience. frown. She had some conflict in her small heart, which she did not know how to resolve. It was very painful. Thembi, who was ten at the time, was the most deeply affected. He stopped studying and became withdrawn. He had once been keen on English and Shakespeare, but after the separation, he seemed to become apathetic about learning. The principal of his school spoke to me on one occasion, but there was little that I was able to do…Following the breakup, Thembi would frequently wear my clothes, even though they were far too large for him; they gave him some kind of attachment to his too-often-distant father.’

Madiba knew that family is king.

Shortly before Mandela came out of prison, Winnie Mandela, his second wife, who had stood stoutly by him over the years of his struggle and incarceration, was at age Fifty-five involved in a relationship with a young lawyer, known as Dali Mpofu, who already had a child with another woman. On April 13,

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

67

Expert Speaks

p ersonal effectiveness Nelson Mandela drew this home, and I know if there is anything like living your life all over again, Madiba would have chosen differently.

1992, Mandela at a press conference announced his separation from Winnie.

It was a sobering speech, which bore no acrimony. On page 823 of Long Walk to Freedom, he said in his speech among other things, ‘…Comrade Nomzamo and myself contracted our marriage at a critical time in the struggle for the liberation of our country. Owning to the pressure of our shared commitment to the ANC struggle to end apartheid, we were unable to enjoy a normal family life.’

Towards the end of page 824 of ‘Long Walk to Freedom,’ and into page 825, he stated, ‘As I said at my daughter Zindzi’s wedding, it seems to be the destiny of freedom fighters to have unstable personal lives. When your life is the struggle, like mine was, there is little room left for family. That has always been my GREATEST REGRET, and the MOST PAINFUL ASPECT of the choice I made. ‘We watched our children grow without our guidance,’ I said at the wedding, ‘and when we did come (out of prison), my children said, ‘we thought 68

we had a father and one day he’d come back. But to our dismay, our father came back and he left us alone because he has now become the father of the nation.’”

To be the father of a nation is a great honour, but to be the father of a family is a greater joy. But it was a joy I had far little of.’

Mandela is a truthful man and though the world tried to make him a saint, he so graciously communicated the truth that above all things, Family is King.

The lesson for Olakunle Soriyan and for all who read his thoughts is the truth that self-deception is the instrument that allows the human mind to write his own lies as his true story, to be his own media and create his own audience that consist only of himself together with a few weak minds who at worst know no meaning and purpose, and who at best, wear the garment of honour, but know not its standards; and so celebrates a lie as fact, and mediocrity as excellence.

No matter who disagrees or varies, we all still owe it to our conscience, the ideal that there can be no greater success outside the one that accepts that truly, at the height of human achievement, family is still king and serving the family is a privileged and sacred responsibility.

Nelson Mandela drew this home, and I know if there is anything like living your life all over again, Madiba would have chosen differently. q

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

125 Days of Favour Advert

Expert Speaks

Expert Speaks

legal

legal



Women’s Rights are Human Rights

By Taiwo Akinlami

O

ne of the fundamental definitions of rights (human, economic and social) is ‘a moral or legal entitlement to have or do something.’ In my studies over the years, I have discovered that that there are four fundamental principles about rights as follows:

70

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

That the source of rights is not the society or fellow human beings.

Every human being created by God is born with rights, particularly, what is known as fundamental human rights. Fundamental human rights are commonly understood as inalienable fundamental rights to which a person is inherently entitled simply because she or he is a human being.

That in view of the first principles, rights are to be respected as an inevitable and mandated obligation to God and fellow human beings That rights are given by God to protect and preserve the dignity of all humans, whatever our nationality, place of residence, sex, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, language, or status That though, every human being is created by God with rights, whether these rights are acknowledged or not is dependent on how every human society perceives its members, human beings.

Having being active on the field of social work in the last 17 years, I have discovered that most Third World countries, particularly Africans have little or no

  

respect for the dignity of human persons.

This is reflected in the way we treat every member of the society, children, men and women. The unfortunate issue is that women and children are also perceived by the society as defenseless and therefore we can ride roughshod on their dignity of human person.

It is my long-held argument that neither children nor women are to be considered vulnerable. I know the word ‘vulnerable’ is used to call attention to the neglected state of women. But the way it is being used is as if God created woman vulnerable beings and so they have to cope with that state as this world as we know it today come to an end. We pay so much attention to their ‘vulnerable’ state without addressing how they came to be tagged vulnerable. Permit me to alert today, that in the beginning it was not so that women were vulnerable. If they are vulnerable today, it is as a result of the irresponsibility of society.

If our legal system is this clear on the rights of women, how come many women still suffer deprivations despite the clear provisions of the law?

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

71

Expert Speaks

Expert Speaks

l egal

legal

Therefore, I think it is more important to emphasize how women arrived at the stigmatized bus stop called, ‘vulnerability,’ lest we begin to think that their so-called vulnerability is an irredeemable creation of nature.

T

hat rights are codified by law and enforced by a nation states and international community.

We can deduce from the foregoing principle that women are God’s creatures, who occupy a pivotal place in our social, economic and political development and they have rights, which

and consider the context instead of isolating one or two provisions or phrases and build an argument around it to the detriment of the purpose of the legal instrument. One of the cardinal principles of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is that all human beings are created equal and all human have rights.

The 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria dedicates it entire Chapter IV to the provision and protection of the Fundamental Human Rights of all its citizens, children, male and female. African Charter on

…in matters of rights and protection of same, enlightenment is superior to enforcement. must be respected in the best interest of the society.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights was adopted by the United Nations on 10th December 1948. It was the first accomplishment of the United Nations in its attempt to give expression to human rights. Though, some feminists have argued if the Declaration envisages women by virtue of the use of what they call’, male-centric terms’ such as ‘brotherhood’ in Article 1 and ‘himself and his family’ in article 23. I believe that in interpretation and application of a legal instrument, it is important to consider the intention of the makers 72

Human and Peoples’ Rights, which is enforceable in Nigeria by virtue of African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights (Ratification and Enforcement) Act, makes copious provision on the economic rights for all, which include ownership of property(Article 14) and equality of treatment within the workplace(Article 15), just to mention a few.

There are three major areas, which constitute major issues for the Nigerian.

The first is ownership of property; the second is inheritance from parents and the third is the management of the husband’s estates in the case of

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

death. There is no law against women in the foregoing areas, particularly as it relates to her rights to her deceased husband’s estate, whether the marriage is contracted under the Marriage Act or not. Concerning inheritance, there are various customary laws, which govern inheritance in Nigeria. The right of the woman to her husband’s estate by the wife in the case of death has also been subject to different cultural injunctions, which in most cases do not favour the woman. While these cultural injunctions on ownership of property and the right of the wife to the estate of her deceased husband may differ from one region to the other, the good news is that all must be subjected to what is called repugnance test in law. In testing the validity of any law, it must not be repugnant to natural justice, equity and good conscience. The truth of the matter is that it is consistent position of our legal system that any customary law, which disinherit the woman either as a daughter or widow is repugnant to natural justice, equity and good conscience.

If our legal system is this clear on the rights of women, how come many women still suffer deprivations despite the clear provisions of the law? I think the answer is very simple; ignorance, resulting from lack of awareness. It is my opinion that in matters of rights and protection of same, enlightenment is superior to enforcement. Enlightenment focuses on prevention and enforcement focuses on intervention; most of the time

In respect of the right of the woman to the estate of her deceased, husband, I advise the husband to write a will once he begins to acquire property. after the damage has been done. It is my humble conclusion that the soul and the spirit of the law is enlightenment.

Therefore in the quest of a society to see that the law regulates human behaviour as an inevitable instrument of social engineering, we must a matter of necessity and urgency pay quality attention to the enlightenment. It will also invest in reorientation in respect of our lack of respect for the dignity of human person.

In respect of the right of the woman to the estate of her deceased, husband, I advise the husband to write a will once he begins to acquire property. It may also help for couples to jointly own property or for such property to be acquired in the name of the wife.

It is time to arise as a society and give expression to the clear letters of the law, which makes provisions for the rights of the woman because women’s rights are human rights. q

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

73

o pinion

opinion

2014 Powered

by Conviction

By Detoun Ogwo

A

very happy new year to everyone who has made the journeyas the editor of the Woman Leader magazine worthwhile.

Let me start by confessing that it was tasking to see how far we were headed when our Pastor assigned the task a few moons back. Though initially concerned at the scope, he assured that grace will come into play and I took his very experienced and fatherly word for it. We are indeed grateful forour committed funding and distribution partners, whoalongside our small team have placed copies in the hands of purpose driven women across the nation. It was also encouraging to learn from a colleague that her relative in the United States refused to returnher copies of the previous editions during her recent visit.

With your support we are confident we will fulfill the mandate. We equally welcome your comments, questions and contributions Now that 2014 is in full swing, is it out of place to ask how your 2013 went?

On a personal note, looking into 2013’s rearview mirror, I see so many chequered lessons, Like most of us, I started out 74

with very high expectations of how 2013 will unfold. As I took stock few days before 2013 ended, I realized that despite the many blessings and painful lessons, the year could have been more efficiently spent. I say this because; sometime in November, I gleaneda turning point lesson as I read the book of Daniels, the phrase… “But Daniel purposed in his heart” jumped at me. I paused to consider how the strength of a man’s conviction powered his purposeful living and the fulfillment of his destiny against all odds, enough to be remembered centuries after he lived.

Isuddenly realized that whilst I had prayerfully imagined what I expected the year to deliver, I had achievement gaps, many traceable to how convinced, purposeful, resolved and committed I was to those expectations on a daily and consistent basis.

As though by some divine agenda, I had to attend a Fortune mentoring

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

program reunion in South Africa a few days before Mandela passed on and our packed itinerary and guided tours highlighted the pains and triumph of the Apartheid struggle. Walking through the Apartheid museum, I learnt–amongst many things–the construct of the human mind and the use it can be put to- either to oppress or liberate others. I learnt the place of collective bargaining and consistent refining of vision until aims and objectives are achieved. Above all– as we walked through the lowly Soweto house Mandela and Winnie lived with their children during the struggle and prior to his incarceration at Robben Island–I learnt, once again, about the pivotal role and place of purpose and conviction in running the race set before each of us.

I was awed by the resolve, sacrifice, collective action,community planning andleadership that went into the struggle. What struck me the most was a bookshelf in Madiba’s lowly house which displayed, amongst other must reads, not 1 but 5 copies of Horst Drechsler’sLet us Die Fighting and a quote on an outside wall reached out to me. It stated: “In judging our progress as individuals, we tend to concentrate on external factors such as one’s social position, influence, popularity, wealth and standard of education but internal factors may be even more crucial in assessing one’s development as a human being: humility, purity, generosity, absence of vanity, readiness to serve your

fellow men – qualities within the reach of every human soul”.

Once again it drove home the place of conviction. Withoutsounding unbearably adulatory of someone who equally acknowledged his failings as a human being and parent, the contents of his library reflected a man,convinced and fully purposed to a cause,for which, he was even prepared to pay the ultimate price of his life.

As you ride gallantly full of expectations into 2014, I encourage you to create a conviction pact with yourself and be willing to stretch yourself thin to hold on to it everytime Whatever you aspire to do and become in 2014 with the all abounding grace of God at work, there are demands for that desired next level that will not drop into your lap until you purpose in your heart to take certain action steps.

Pursuit, after all, is the proof of desire and faith that does nothing is dead–just as the good book says.

As you follow the Master and His blueprint more closely, you must strive for more productive use of your time.

For the young and unemployed; you must be ready to meet the demand of the ‘gainfully employed’ status; fully understand the realities of the very competitive job market you are navigating in, commit to selfdevelopment; make yourself work-ready and be prepared to add value to any organization that eventually provides you a platform. To the hurting spouse;

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

75

o pinion

Save

As a parent; you may need to purpose in your heart to invest more time in your children.

For everyone who aspires for financial freedom, a more purposeful focus on spending less and striking a balance between needs and wants becomes a sure demand… having done all prayerfully, release all the hurt in your heart and be calmer in your reactions to sore situations. To the frustrated employer of labor whois yet to get the value he/she seeks, evaluate your vision and critically assess if you have created; an inspiring vision, incentives, work culture and structures in your organization worth demanding the ultimate best from your employees.

As a parent; you may need to purpose in your heart to invest more time in your children. For everyone who aspires for financial freedom, a more purposeful focus on spending less and striking a balance between needs and wants becomes a sure demand, after all water drops cut through rocks not because 76

of their power but because of their persistence.

As the journey to SA ended with books and memorabilia about the leader and the land which benefitted from the power and strength of a man’s conviction ended, I mused about the state of affairs in our nation and realized there is more than enough in each of us citizens if we will only commit, purpose and consistently hold true to our patriotic convictions come what may.

It goes without saying that the ‘in your face’ demand to trade such convictions for temporaryand primordial acquisition of societal trappings which our skewed values system has thrust on us stands in our way individually and collectively– one we must daily and purposefully shrug off as proof of our commitment to a developed and efficient nation.

It was Robert Green Ingersoll who said’’It is a blessed thing that in every age some one has had the individuality enough and courage enough to stand by his own convictions’’. You may very well be that one person to create the shift needed wherever you are positioned in life today.

So let’s role play. Today is 31st of December 2014 and you are taking stock of how this year has thankfully gone by, what do you see? Remember as we have observed from the lives of many great achievers and the many who are around us today–strong convictions precede great actions. What do you purpose in your heart? q

T h e W o m a n L e a d e r V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4

20% off cover price

Subscribe & Save Get 4 issues for only N1,600

Call 0813 893 8495 now to subcribe or Complete & Email the order form today Name: Address:

Telephone: Email: Signature: Send to: editor@thewomanleader.org

V ol 2 I ss u e 1 2 0 1 4 T h e W o m a n L e a d e r

77

Reach your audience, advertise in The Woman Leader The Woman Leader Advert Rates Placement

Cost

Inside Cover Double Page

N300,000

Double Page Spread

N250,000

Outside Back Cover

N200,000

Inside Back Cover

N150,000

Inside Full Page

N100,000

Half Page

N65,000

For advert booking and placement, please call: 0813 893 8495

our doors are open to a whole new world of

opportunity...

GREENSPRINGS SCHOOL ANTHONY CAMPUS 32 OLATUNDE AYOOLA AVENUE ANTHONY LAGOS NIGERIA

GREENSPRINGS SCHOOL LEKKI CAMPUS IBEJU-LEKKI(AFTER CROWN ESTATE) AWOYAYA, LAGOS, NIGERIA

www.greenspringsschool.com