THE BRIDAL ISSUE by JOMA PUBLISHING COMPANY

Gemini 12 Month Wedding Planning Guide

Perfect

Planning your special day? We specialize in the only event that matters. Yours.

www.everythingbutthetux.com

Gemini Publisher

Editorial Director

Fashion Editor

Money Editor

Creative Director

Graphic Designer

On The Cover We loved the entire shoot, especially the location. Graffiti, jagged walls, and a beautiful bride made for the perfect mix of chaos and glam. Model Sarah S by FashionMove (www.fashionmove.be) Photographer Sven Smits (www.svensmits.be) Dress Geert de Puysseleyr (www.exclusive-fashion.be) Make-Up An Lenaers

Publisher's

Sommer J

Editor's

Latima

Words of Advice

Faith

Bridal

Beauty

Pretty

Face

Purple Haze, $17 Urban Decay

Iman Perfect Eye Pencil (Jet), $8 Ulta

Crash, $17 Urban Decay

TIP: L'oreal Voluminous Mascara (Carbon Black), $7 Ulta

Coverblend Concealer, $22 Ulta

Dandelion Face Powder, $28 Benefit Cosmetics

Giorgio Armani, D'Armani Lipstick (Rouge), $30 Saks Fifth Avenue

TIP:

MAC Studio Tech, $30 Nordstrom

Smashbox Eyeshadow (Oyster), $16 Smashbox

Bobbi Brown Long Wear Gel Liner, (Black Ink) $21 Bloomingdales

MAC Viva Glam VII Lipstick, (Viva Glam Gaga) $14 Nordstrom

TIP:

10, Bronzing & Highlighting Face Powder Duo, $28 Benefit Cosmetics

Waterproof Shadow Liner Duo (Cashmere), $25 Smashbox

TIP: Trish McEvoy, Gorgeous Lipstick (Demure), $25 Nordstrom

Lip Enhancing Gloss (Candid), $18 Smashbox

Words of Advice Friendship

Bridal

Fashion

e d ri

Model Sarah S by FashionMove (www.fashionmove.be) Photographer Sven Smits (www.svensmits.be) Dress Geert de Puysseleyr (www.exclusive-fashion.be) Make-Up An Lenaers

Gowns for Your Shape

Apple

Pear

Inverted Triangle

5 Tips for F inding You Fitting Dres r Perfect s

You must fi n d a d r ess perfect for that is Y OU .

Find a dres s with grea fabric, con t quality, struction, a nd details. Your dress must fit like This dress a glove. must look li ke it was o made for y nly ou.

Your dress mu s t b e c o enough for mfortable you to sit in an d d an ce your Prince with Charming a ll night. Feel absolu tely beautifu l.

20 Wedding Day Shoes (You Can Walk In)

Where to Buy 1. Badgley Miscka $204 www.zappos.com

12. Unforgettable Moments by Lela Rose $25 www.payless.com

2. Michelle Peep-Toe Flat, Christian Siriano for Payless $30 www.payless.com

13. Marc by Marc Jacobs Wedge Flip Flop $69 www.nordstrom.com

3. Calvin Klein $90 www.zappos.com 4. Coloriffics, Carmen $70 www.zappos.com 5. Neilson Bow Flat, Lela Rose for Payless $30 www.payless.com 6. Nina (Xtina) $100 www.zappos.com

14. Kate Spade $278 www.zappos.com 15. Benjamin Adams Carmen $190 www.bridalshoes.com 16. Steve Madden Frencyy $70 www.zappos.com 17. Tammie $100 www.onlinebridalstore.com

7. RSVP $90 www.zappos.com

18. Vesper Western Wedding Boots $100 www.sheplers.com

8. RSVP Gigi $75 www.zappos.com

19. Beverly Feldman Layla Sandal $205 www.nordstrom.com

9. Unforgettable Moments by Lela Rose $25 www.payless.com

20. Converse Chuck Taylor $59 www.nordstrom.com

10. Steve Madden flats Keepsake $70 www.zappos.com 11. Stuard Weitzman $325 www.zappos.com

Words of Advice Finances

Bridal

Bliss

Wedding Timeline And Tips Made Simple

Twelve to nine months from your big day:

Eight to six months until your big day:

Five to three months until your big day:

Bridal Websites

Etiquette Books

Bridal Associations

Two months until your big day:

Plus Size Wedding Dresses

One month until our big day:

The week of your wedding:

YOUR BIG DAY!

married. The opening lyrics to the song “Stars” off of their debut album Surrender to Love gives insight into just how committed they are to one another. “So many times you could have walked away. But I didn’t have to say a word to convince you to stay. ‘Cause you know it and I know this thing is real. So we continue to learn and our love grows deeper still…” In fact, the couple credits working together professionally, as a big help to their personal relationship because it forces them to communicate. There have even been instances on the road where they would argue and then have to go onstage, and the music would put things in perspective for them. They also credit having a strong support network of family to help, which enables them to pursue their careers and maintain a regular schedule for the children. They stress how important it was that they turned to their elders for advice. Truth be told they embraced the advice because they knew their parents wanted to see them succeed.

12 Y They met in New York while working on music. Aja was pursuing a solo career and Fatin was writing and doing music. To say it was love at first sight would be stretching the truth, but this couple likes the fact that they became friends first and took their time getting to know each other. In fact, with Aja in DC and Fatin living in New York, the two did quite a bit of courting over the telephone. After about six months, Fatin popped the question and the two haven’t looked back. Fastforward 12 years, three albums and six children (yes you read right the couple has six children ages 10, 7, 5, 2(twins) and a 2 month old and they are as committed today as they were when they first got

ears

Things weren’t always smooth sailing for the Dantzlers however, Fatin admits, “the first two years were difficult.” But when asked if there was ever a time when either of them wanted to call it quits, Aja was quick to chime in “we want to be together. Your heart is telling you I want to be here. Then you do whatever to make it work. In the 12 years, we never looked at each other like I don’t want you.” Fatin cautions that newlyweds should not go into the relationship looking for the other person to make them happy. Aja says you should say to yourself, “this person is not responsible for my happiness but they can contribute.” Equally important to the Dantzlers is the fact that each of them has a role in the relationship. They joke that Aja does everything and Fatin does anything. Aja says, “I’m responsible for everything and Fatin is the errand boy. I stay focused on the home and he focuses on the business. I need to run my household a certain way. It’s important that I don’t have to stop what I’m doing to get in my car and take care of something.” With all that they have going on, it can become difficult to make time for each other. Or, as Fatin puts it, “our hustle has had to increase but we are trying to redefine how we reconnect as a couple. Now that we have extra

responsibilities how do we maintain that?” Exploring new and creative ways to reach their fans has allowed them to spend more time at home. They have launched a website and are also in the studio working on the next album.

16 Y

e ar s

They say if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t it never was. After an encounter at a local roller skating rink when they were teenagers, the Simmons tried to develop a relationship but it was difficult with Joey (as his wife affectionately calls him) living in Hollis, Queens and Jus(Rev Run’s nickname for his wife) living in Roosevelt, Long Island. The two did more talking on the phone than actually dating. Eventhough it seemed like they had a lot in common, after a while the distance

took its toll on their relationship and they wound up parting ways. Reverend Run maintains that he never stopped thinking about the fly girl from Long Island, and, as fate would have it, his cousin wound up working as a security guard at the school Justine’s younger sister attended. Somehow, the two found out that their relatives used to date and Rev Run pounced on the opportunity to reconnect. and asked his cousin to see if he could get Justine’s number. At the time, he was going through a divorce with his first wife Valerie and in the early stages of his spiritual journey. In the twelve years since they dated, they both had a chance to grow up and experience life. As part of the hugely successful pioneer rap group RunDmc, Rev Run toured the world, performed in sold out arenas and had music videos in heavy rotation in addition to being the father of three children. Justine, on the other hand, was focused on her career and claimed she had no time to settle down and have a family (especially since she was working three jobs). Ironically, all of that went out the window as soon as Justine heard the Reverend’s voice on the phone. She says she was instantly transported back to 1982 and those old feelings she had for Joey from Queens. The two kept in touch and began to get to know

each other again. Justine, who at the time admits she was all about partying and making money, was surprised to learn that the love of her life had given his life to God and was no longer living the rock star lifestyle his group was known for. There was something about the Rev that drew Justine in and they were married on June 25, 1994. Justine says of the wedding, “it might not have been everything we hoped for”-the couple was married at the home of Bishop E. Bernard Jordan the Reverends spiritual mentor-“it was only one day. Our marriage was going to be for a lifetime, and we’d have plenty of time to get things right afterward.” In addition, to the wedding being less than fairytale, Justine found herself with not only a new husband, but three children as well. She says she made it a priority to let the children know that she wasn’t trying to replace their mom. The Reverend made it a point to let his kids know that Justine was his wife and that the success of his marriage was very important to him. They both admit that it wasn’t easy in the beginning and they had to constantly reassure the children that they were a part of their dad’s life with his new bride. The Simmons’ detail how they were able to achieve order and commonality in their household in

their book Taking Back Your Family. Rev Run states that the first thing that has to be taken care of is the marriage. “We believe if the marriage is not tight, everything around it falls apart” Justine adds, “it’s just so easy to get caught up in our children and give them so much love once we have them that we forget about our husbands, my kids know it’s me and Rev Run, we’re a team and ya’ll are not going to get in the middle of our relationship.” They also stress how important it is that couples work on their marriage. Rev Run says, “It’s just like any other thing in this world, if you don’t maintain it, it will fall apart.” In addition to the hard work, the Simmons’ are big believers in showing intimacy and affection in their marriage. They also maintain that communication and compromise are the biggest challenges in a marriage, especially when both the husband and wife are busy with their respective careers. They say it is important to recharge your marriage and for them that means renewing their vows. (They have renewed their vows three times) According to Rev Run, “Each time we tie the knot again, it forces me to refocus on our marriage and remember how blessed I am to have a wife like Justine.”

missing that special ingredient.” While on leave from the navy, their courtship blossomed the Moores admit “We automatically knew we were going to be together.” Soon after they made plans to be together forever. While in Kansas City, Rent simply purchased a ring and put it in Marlo’s hand. The Moores claim they can’t quite remember who proposed, but Rent jokingly states Marlo popped the question. Although there was no official proposal, Marlo kindly accepted the ring. “It was gorgeous.” she explains. Two years after that initial meeting, the Moore’s tied the knot on November 9, 1990. When asked about consummating their marriage, they boldly announce, “We keep it real no matter what, our bed was not defiled. We have 2 beautiful children!” They have a daughter (20) who’s an aspiring model and currently attends college and a son (12) in middle school and who also shares a birthday with his dad. Marlo says,

19 Y Orenthal and Marlo Moore’s love story began in a Navy dormitory half way around the world in Misawa, Japan. Marlo worked the evening shift, which in retrospect she says was a blessing that would change her life. During her shift the evening of May 10, 1988, she met her future husband, who was also enlisted in the Navy. They were both young, Marlo 20 and Orenthal 19 but age didn’t matter to them. During that first meeting, they each felt some kind of chemistry. Marlo explains that prior to meeting “Rent” (Orenthal’s nickname) she was sort of “wandering in space, more or less living life, but feeling like I was

ears

“Our son is a birthday gift to my husband.” When asked was there a time during her pregnancies that her husband complained about her weight gain or loss she emphatically states, “Never!” Rent just kindly reminded her to tone up and his only request was, “Honey, please keep ‘our’ shape.” For the Moores weight does not play a major role. When they met, Marlo was a size 7/8 and about 135 lbs and Rent was a smallframed 150 lbs. The past 22 years have added some extra pounds for both Marlo and Rent. He proudly confesses, “We now look like a Mommy and Daddy.” Marlo currently sports a sexy size 12 and Rent has added a little bit of muscle to his physique. Although they might have added a few extra pounds, they both admit they are comfortable in their skin. When asked about the lessons they have learned along the way, they credit the fact that they have their own independent professions with keeping their love thriving. Because of their busy and hectic careers, they had to learn the importance of asking questions, communicating, and being willing to compromise. Orenthal owns a Real Estate company, A 1 Field Services, while Marlo is the CEO of Destinee Records, a project manager at a Consulting Company and a licensed Minister since 2009. As a couple the Moores state, “We support one

another and are there to offer advice on business decisions that may affect our household.” Apart from their professional life, they run a very traditional household. A regular day will include Marlo fixing dinner for her guys, cleaning house-and because the boys are so high maintenance-looking after their needs. When Marlo isn’t out at show performances, or tending to her ministerial duties, her typical day off includes watching various television shows, with or without the family. Rent takes pride in instilling manly values in his son. They also enjoy family outings. Playing miniature golf, taking vacations, going to the beach, and simply enjoying one another’s company is what they consider fun. Rent states, “The more family time we can get, the better. Movies are a plus too, we love those as well.” Marlo admits golf is probably the one hobby that sets the two apart. She playfully states, “My hubby is the golfer, I’m supportive, I play the sport.” The couple was asked to share their most memorable moment and they enthusiastically recall their 10th wedding anniversary. Mr. Romantic Orenthal decided to take Marlo horseback riding and presented her with a beautiful brand new wedding ring in a secluded section of the woods. Marlo gushes, “It

was so romantic. It’s almost hard to believe that love can be found and nurtured over the years.” After 22 years as a couple with almost 20 of those spent as husband and wife, enduring the many challenges they have means they had to have a strong commitment to one another and to their marriage. The Moores humbly thank God for keeping them inspired and together for more than half their lives and state, “Knowing that we have shared half of our lifetime together, motivates us to run on and see what the end is going to be. We are so excited about our future and traveling together.” The Moores are like the New Era Cosbys minus a few kids. They agree, and claim that their two children are spoiled to pieces but at the same time they run a tight ship. Marlo says, “Our families are so similar to the Cosby’s, it’s amazing.” They state marriage is all they expected and more. There are good times and bad times and they are thankful for both because it helps them to grow. They both believe the bond that keeps their marriage strong is God. “It’s our strong belief in God and the biblical principles we follow. Old school still works, after all, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

Once in a Lifetime

Marriage 101

Hjelmstad says according to DivorceMagazine.com, only 33% of couples reach their 25th anniversary and that figure falls to 20% for the 35th anniversary. So whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the key? Lori has listed some pitfalls that newlyweds should avoid. Hang on to your old friends too tightly and not make space for your primary relationship. Think that a fight is a bigger deal than it is. You will be fighting for years. Learn how. Complain to your mother or friends about your husband. Want to bail at the first unpleasantness.

Nurture your primary relationship tenaciously. Fall in love with each new person your mate becomes. Create a post-parenthood marriage when the children leave. Foster a lifelong sexual connection

Before moving anything, create a simple “space planner” using graphing paper. Cut out everyone’s furniture pieces, to scale if possible, to determine which item fits best in the new space. It is likely that one person will have to give up their duplicate item (microwave, couch, dresser, etc). This is a great opportunity to donate these items to your favorite charity. Don’t forget to get your tax deductible receipt. When moving from two separate locations, schedule the movers to pick up at one location in the morning; go straight to the second location; and then finally to the new home with both loads of belongings. Prior to moving day, make sure to measure doorways and staircases to assure that large items will fit.

Newlywed Movers

These tasks are simple. One example is; texting your partner with just the words, I LOVE YOU. It sounds simple and it is. The issues arise when we try to multi-task and our sweetness is lost in the muck of all the other communication we are sending out. When communicating affirming sentiments, multitasking does not work. Imagine if you mix the "I love you" with "On the way home pick up some bread." The sweetness of the "I love you" is lost. Keep the communication separate. "I've been a communication specialist for 15 years and I see the unintentional miscommunication in relationships all the time. Keeping things simple, breaking down content and being aware of the total communication delivery is very important. What you say, as well as what you don't say speaks volumes. 55% of communication is body language. So, the bottom line is making a marriage work is about working on communication. Whether you are affirming, asking, or telling a joke.....put your whole body, mind and spirit into the message. Be present when talking and listening."

We all have expectations of marriage based on how we were raised whether or not we are conscious of these expectations. Talk about how you did things in your house growing up and which traditions and styles you want to keep alive in your own marriage. Many people get married with a romanticized vision of their partner only to discover that the reality is far different. Consider the first two years of your marriage to be an adjustment phase in which you learn about each other on a deeper level. Trying to make your partner conform to your idealized image of him or her is only asking for trouble. While some couples choose to keep separate

bank accounts, no couple can survive secrecy about spending habits. It might be painful for the spender to conform to the saver spouse’s style, but it is crucial to communicate about joint financial expectations. Finances are one of the top two causes for divorce—figure it out together. “You complete me” may be a great movie line, but it does not make a great basis for a marriage. Your spouse cannot be your everything. Keep up friendships, make new friends with other couples, get time alone. No one can withstand the pressure to meet all of your needs. Many young couples make the mistake of striving to set up house exactly as they want even if it means going into debt. Remember that your parents took years to establish themselves financially and build the lifestyle you became accustomed. Give yourselves some time. If you do it right, you just might have the next 50 years together to build the life you always dreamed of.

Money is the leading thing American couples argue about, followed by children (Stanley and Markman, nationwide phone survey). What's more, a recent study from Utah State University found that couples who reported disagreeing about finances once a week were over 30 percent more likely to get divorced than couples who reported disagreeing about finances a few times a month.

Let's talk about/develop a household budget. Let's talk about debt--yours, mine, and ours. Let's talk about our savings and retirement account goals. Let's talk about how we want to handle our incomes and spending-jointly or separately.

The Planning So, you’ve said yes! The ring was something you two were able to get past and you’ve agreed on a pretty nice piece of jewelry. Congratulations, it warms my heart to see two lovers take on the responsibility of taking their relationship to the next phase. Marriage is a wonderful thing. Although there are all types of negative stereotypes that have made people believe the institution of marriage is a waste of time, the fact that two people are deciding to put the needs of their partner and relationship before their own selfishness should be commended and supported; not given 100 reasons as to why it would be a mistake. OK, so you’ve found the man, accepted the ring, and you’re happy. You’ve been smiling for the past 30 days, but what’s next? Where do you begin? There’s a bunch of stuff that has to get done,

plans that need to be made, and plenty of people that need to be paid. The next few weeks are going to be important to your sanity; it’s imperative that you don’t allow the planning process to consume you and cause any stress or strain on your relationship. Wedding planning is the first real test that a couple will face together; so before any phone calls are made, the most important thing to do is sit down with your mate and talk about what’s important to the two of you. This is YOUR day. This day doesn’t just belong to the bride; I know that many women are raised to believe that their wedding day is their day, but it’s not. The groom is just as important to the day as the bride; without a groom there is no wedding, so let’s not treat him as if he’s a prop. Gone are the days where a man was just required to show up at a wedding

and stand where he was told. Some may be fine with being told what to wear, where to be, and what time to be there; but if your man wants more than that, then you should listen to his ideas and concerns and incorporate them into the overall planning. Remember, had he never asked, you wouldn’t have a wedding to plan. I want to reiterate that this column, like my previous one (The Ring, Big Business Issue), is not a How-To-Guide. I don’t want anyone to feel like I am trying to give you a step by step blueprint that needs to be followed. I’m merely sharing ideas, which I happen to think are pretty good ones. But that’s just a personal opinion, of course. I am not an expert; however, I do know that there are some essential things that need to be done when planning a wedding. People try to downplay your wedding day as just “another” day, but I disagree. Your wedding day isn’t just another day, it’s the day that you and your partner have chosen to begin a new life with each other. It’s a day of evolution, a day of new beginnings. To downplay its significance by calling it just “another day” is to refuse it the proper amount of respect it so deserves. Don’t allow yourself or anyone else to dismiss the significance of your wedding day. You’ve decided that you are going to spend the rest of your life

with this person. Celebrate each other, not only on that day, but every day after. So, you’re ready to start planning? Where do you begin? I know I said that this wasn’t going to be a How-To-Guide, however, if you feel like you can gain something from following this list that I’m presenting, feel free to use it. Before you get into the meat of the planning, you want to sit down with your partner and select a firm date. The date of your wedding, in a lot of instances, will affect the cost of your wedding. So if you’re cost conscious, then you want to make sure to avoid the peak wedding dates, because there will be a premium price for those dates. Make sure you also have an alternate date, in case your preferred date is not available. I would suggest one or two alternate dates, maybe even a third if you choose a popular venue. Once you’ve settled on a date, the next most important step is to decide where you want to have the wedding and the reception. Think location, location, location. Location is important because your rental costs can will depend on when you plan on having the nuptials, but in addition, the venue will help you determine the size of your wedding. I recommend finding the venue before determining the size of like your wedding party and the number of

guests you plan to invite. This will give you more options when researching different venues, as opposed to trying to find a venue that can accommodate your group. After you’ve decided on when you want to have your wedding and where you want to have it, it’s time to start thinking budget. I know this will raise a few eyebrows. Some of you are probably thinking that this should be the first thing that you decide to do, however I think you should budget for the time and place you want, so that you don’t feel like money or a lack of is the sole motivation behind your wedding day; money shouldn’t influence where or when you get married. Once you’ve created your budget, you can decide on the food and beverages. According to Shavonne, owner of event planning company Memorable Moments by Shavonne, “Your biggest expense is going to be the food and drinks. A lot of places will give you the space for free if you purchase the food from them, however if you decide on outside catering or if they don’t offer food, they will charge you.” Your budget will come in handy because it will ensure that your guest list doesn’t get out of hand. The price of the food is determined by the number of people attending, and so is the price of the cake, having a set budget forces you to pay close attention to the length of

your guest list. Finally, once the date, location, and budget are set, the next most important factor to the bride is going to be her dress. She’s going to have to decide if she wants to have her dress made or if she can find something off the rack or online that she can fall in love with. A woman’s dress is probably going to be the most important detail of the wedding. There are women that have imagined what their wedding dress would look like all their lives; from a young age they’ve been fascinated with it, so this is the portion of the wedding planning that will probably generate the most headaches. She’s not going to get married in just anything; she has to absolutely love her dress, because if she doesn’t, she won’t be happy. Now, some women are simple and they will be able to find something that they love fairly easily; however, for the woman that’s not, this is the portion of the wedding planning where the groom has to be patient and understanding. She has to wear that dress, no one else, so while the groom’s opinion is nice, at the end of the day hers is the only one that matters.

True Thoughts

Once in a Lifetime