GEM Magazine LI May 2012 Bridal Issue by Tanya Lee

GEMliMAGAZINE Free!

lifestyle magazine for the Long Island woman May 2012

strong island woman LINDA LEONARD

tula

gIRL’s NIght Out mOthER’s DAy

makeover spring BRIDE

Long Island’s

D BRIDE

LONG ISLAN

Wedding Dress Workout!

-Marcus

by Bonne Marano

Since we wedding day. best on her what look her very catered toward -be wants to t should be assets very bride-to your workou improve the about the dress, t will help you know it’s all dress workou . My wedding you’re wearing show off. ar dress will that your particul yours, and then closely matches style that most combines If your dress find the dress t. each. started, for get To one workou t options try more than various workou styles, then After check out the t features and each week. twice differen part these many of each body y. Please results, work proper recover To get optimum 48 hours for to get bulky t, allow at least NOT going each workou ing. You are women from that are challeng that just keeps select weights . That’s a myth your last reps tly, weights using heavier training efficien to do When you’re not be able getting strong. and you should Remember really hard, proper form. should feel compromising of the battle; another without is only part the muscle that toning by a layer of are covered if your muscles up your cardio sure to kick body fat, make fat and evaluate burn excess workouts to to ensure your habits your eating show. muscles will newly sleek

plus long island’s health & wellness

the g Wedddrein ss

workout © Charles Philip

Photography

The Wedding

Dress Workout

shot on location

at The JCC,

East Hills, NY,

sjcc.org and

activewear

by Zella provided

Nordstrom

APPAREL

FASHION SHOW

Wednesday June 13th 2012

6:30pm-!0:30pm at the Larkfield Manor, East Northport, NY

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benefiting hosted by Society of Italian Americans & Friends, Inc.

The Fashion Show Model Winners will be featured in an upcoming article in: GEMMagazineLI

$65 includes Dinner/Dance/Fashion Show To Reserve tickets call: 631-662-4576 or visit: www.societyiaf.com

GEMliMAGAZINE CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Lisa Albinowski Kevin Albinowski Michael D. Angiulo Jo Ann Bellistri Cathy Berger D r. S c o t t B l y e r Jungle Bob Carole Burke Patricia Chauvin D r. Yu - S h i a w C h e n Grazia Monda Cooney Maryann Dellinger Maryann DeSimone Sara Fingerman Diana Gaizo Lauren Geldmacher D r. I n n a G e l l e r m a n D r. D e b o r a h G e n i n Bettie Hamilton Linda E. Katz Michelle Kelly Joanne Kois Eileen Lichtenstein Bonne Marano-Marcus Michele Martin Frances McGarry Leigh Merrill Susan Montana D r. L a u r a N e s s Carol Nucci Maria Paray Alyse Parise Paula Klee Parish Ellen Pellegrino Lisa Renee Pomerantz Ta m i R a c a n i e l l o Jodi Record Mary Rosenvinge Rosemary Serra Mary Simmons Jean Summit-Riker D r. R i c h a r d R o n g o Robert Schene Brandie Shaw Colleen Simon Rosemarie Spinella Lidia Szczepanowski A d r i a n a Va t e r J o h n S . Va t e r Ron Villano S u z a n n e Wa c h t e l Colleen White

Tanya Lee - Publisher Rosemarie Kluepfel - Editor

from tanya & rosemarie May is a month full of celebration. On Mother’s Day, we celebrate the gift of life that our Mothers cradled within their wombs for nine months. We also celebrate the Moms, Aunts, Grandmothers, Sisters, Cousins and Friends who raised us. The women who taught us our ABCs, to tie our shoes, to keep trying no matter how many times we struck out at bat, the women who tucked us in at night and reassured us that there were no monsters in the closet and tomorrow was another day full of promise. May is a month to celebrate all the women in our lives: those who made us laugh and those who wiped our tears. Let us also celebrate Mother Earth, as Spring flowers rejoice in a parade of brilliant color and tree limbs appear to be reaching upwards as if to grasp the warmth of the sun. Birds seem to sing in unison as the blue sky brightens our longer days. The poet Kahlil Gibran eloquently wrote, “The earth is like a beautiful bride who needs no manmade jewels to heighten her loveliness...” In May, wedding bells can also be heard as lovely brides walk towards their waiting bridegrooms in anticipation. This month, we celebrate these wonderful beginnings full of promise with our premier issue of Long Island Bride. Full of glamour, sophistication and fun: Long Island Bride reminds us that love is always in bloom.

Hillary Call

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the CONTENTS Wedding dress li

M AY 2 0 1 2

GEM MAGAZINE

workout

Free!

lifestyle magazine for the Long Island woman May 2012

strong island woman LINDA LEONARD

tula girl’s night out

mother’s day

makeover spring BRIDE

Long Island’s

LONG ISLAND

BRIDE

Wedding Dress Workout!

by Bonne Marano-Marcus

day. Since we on her wedding her very best toward what wants to look should be catered assets very bride-to-be your workout improve the about the dress, will help you know it’s all dress workout My wedding off. you’re wearing. dress will show that your particular yours, and then closely matches style that most dress combines find the dress each. If your To get started, options for than one workout. various workout then try more and styles, check out the week. After twice each different features many of these each body part Please results, work proper recovery. To get optimum bulky 48 hours for going to get allow at least You are NOT each workout, from that are challenging. just keeps women select weights a myth that your last reps weights. That’s using heavier training efficiently, to do When you’re not be able getting strong. and you should Remember really hard, proper form. should feel compromising of the battle; another without is only part the muscle that toning by a layer of are covered if your muscles up your cardio sure to kick body fat, make fat and evaluate burn excess workouts to your habits to ensure your eating will show. cles wi muscles muscle newly sleek

plus long island’s health & wellness

the ding Weddress

workout The Wedding © Charles Philip

Dress Workout

shot on location

at The JCC,

East Hills, NY,

sjcc.org

Photography

cover photo Charlie Murcha

features

LINDA LEONARD LONG ISLAND CRISIS CENTER

LOCAL MERCHANT C R E AT I V E W E A R LT D .

MAKING A DIFFERENCE M A RYA N N C H E R N O S K Y

WOMEN IN THE ARTS MARLA LEWIS

Models: Coryn Martin and Lauren Geldmacher

departments 6 8 10 14 26 36 40 42 43 46 49 52 54 58 59 61 62

B R I D A L FA S H I O N BRIDAL BEAUTY BEAUTY TRENDS T H E PA R A M O U N T

WEDDING DRESS WORKOUT H E A LT H & W E L L N E S S FOOD & NUTRITION F A M I LY & R E L A T I O N S H I P S PROFESSIONAL DIRECTORY HOME & GARDEN PET CARE

AUTOMOTIVE BUSINESS & FINANCE I N S P I R AT I O N TRAVEL G I R L’ S N I G H T O U T FOOD TRENDS

All artwork, design & layout by Gem Magazine LI, is sole property of the publisher and may not be reproduced in whole or p a r t . T h e p u b l i s h e r w i l l n o t b e r e s p o n s i b l e f o r e r r o r s i n a d v e r t i s i n g b e y o n d t h e c o s t o f t h e s p a c e o c c u p i e d b y t h e e r r o r, a n d s u c h r e s p o n s i b i l i t y, i s a n y, s h a l l b e l i m i t e d o n l y t o t h e f i r s t u s e o f a d v e r t i s i n g i n t h e c a s e o f r e p e a t e d u s e . T h e p u b l i s h e r reserves the right to edit or reject any advertising at its sole discretion. The advertiser shall represent that all artwork and copy provided by the advertiser is owned by the advertiser and it has the right to utilize such in this publication. ©2012 Gem Magazine LI.

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FASHION FOR THE HOME

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BRIDAL FASHION

Wildly wander

by Cathy Berger

From the time we are little girls, we dream about big, beautiful weddings with gorgeous, “princess-ey” dresses and stunning jewels. By the time we’ve reached “marriageable age,” we understand that bridal fashion means so much more than simply the white dress, veil, and perfect shoes. Bridal fashion is what you wear from the engagement party right to your honeymoon. It includes a cocktail dress, casual wear, bridal lingerie, and yes of course, THE GOWN. Spring is the most popular time for weddings: flowers are blooming, everything is fresh. Designers take much inspiration from Spring in way of patterns and silhouettes such as flowing lines and floral inspired hues, and nowhere is that more evident than in bridal fashion. Of course, your bridal choices are dependent on your overall style and tastes. There is a wedding dress for every taste and style sensibility. Modern bridal styles tend to be less traditional with shorter hems, non-white dresses and wilder silhouettes. The “Mad Men” trend extends to bridal wear and makes 50’s style wedding dresses en vogue again. Colored dresses or white dresses with colored accents and architectural accents are gaining favor with modern-style brides. Designers Alexia Admor, Sue Wong, Badgley Mischka, and Aidan Mattox are some designers that do this modern category of bridal styles well. A more traditional bride may favor a sheath, princess, 6

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with wedding white Radiosa 2012 Wedding Dresses: Color Accents

or ball gown. Each silhouette flatters a range of figures and tastes as they come in nearly every bridal fabric: satin, silk, tulle, chiffon and lace. Tadashi Shoji, Nicole Miller, Faviana and Oscar de la Renta create gorgeous classic silhouettes with modern twists that all brides can appreciate, from strapless drop-waist satin ball gowns to cap-sleeved ribbonsashed sheaths. Want to add a bit of edge to your otherwise traditional bridal ensemble? Try a shoe and/or a bag in a pop of your favorite vivid color. Speaking of color, Spring brides have the opportunity to add a gorgeous hue into their pre-wedding wardrobe as well. Engagement parties, showers, and rehearsal dinners are perfect opportunities to show off the exciting palettes that designers have created for this Spring. “We mix hot neon colors with soft pastels, reminiscent of nature at its extremes: a powerful sunset, the ocean sparkling at dusk with flashes of lightning in the distance,” designer Nanette Lepore said about the colors in Pantone’s Spring ’12 Fashion Report. Ornamental purple Bellflower, neutral Starfish, yellow-green Margarita, Solar Power, rosy-red Cabaret, and blue-green Cockatoo are just a few of the colors that Pantone has called out for spring. The variety of color and the creative ways in which designers have used them truly gives Spring brides fresh options for a stunning bridal color palette!

• Cathy Berger – Fashion Societe, fashionsociete.com

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BRIDAL BEAUTY by Rosemarie Spinella

Blushing

BRIDE ...lItERally

Spring is finally here and wedding bells are ringing, marking the start of a busy wedding season. Amongst the many things on a bride’s to-do list is choosing a make-up artist to help her look and feel her best, on one of the most memorable and cherished days of her life. For any bride-to-be, the key is enhancing her own beauty, only a bit more polished. Finding the right make-up artist to fulfill all her wedding day wishes starts with the basis of any good relationship…communication! Having a full trial run before the big day is essential. This is a time to experiment and share ideas on what kind of look she would like to achieve, leaving no surprises on the day of. Both the artist and bride need a clear understanding of expectations, making sure she is satisfied with her look and that it expresses her vision. The bride to-be should look through magazines for pictures of looks that she likes, and even ones she doesn’t, to better communicate what she may have in mind. Save current make-up trends and fads for another day. Keep make-up clean, simple and classic, as photos do last a lifetime. A great make-up artist should keep in mind many factors when creating her look. Besides having make-up last all day and look flawless in photos, the time of day, indoor or outdoor and even the weather, should all be taken into consideration. Also keep in mind the dress style. Is her dress romantic, dramatic, elegant or edgy? Discuss which features to bring focus to. No two brides are alike and their make-up shouldn’t be either. By the time the big day comes around she should be stress-free, knowing all the details have been taken care of. Make-up for a wedding day goes beyond simply being something visual. It is the feeling or emotion that is evoked, whether it is one of sheer bliss, romance, excitement, or a surge of confidence. When the bride looks at herself, she should feel her best. This inner light is what truly shines as the bride walks down the aisle.

• Rosemarie Spinella –Certified Make-up Artist at LaPiele Boutique Spa. 631-629-4334, lapieleskincare.com 8

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BEAUTY TRENDS

Spring

A Time Of Growth And Cleansing

by Ellen Pellegrino

Look around. Flowers are popping up here and there, trees are budding, birds are chirping and singing. These blessings we take for granted each and everyday. Breathe in the scent of Life, the aroma of the blossoms, the mist of the rain. So often we get consumed with all we have to do, that we miss out on what is important: just being, recharging, resting. Beauty and life are all around us. As we relax we can focus on what is special in our lives and our plans and hopes for the future. As we appreciate nature’s rebirth each Spring, we should also learn to appreciate the positive growth within ourselves. Know that we can accomplish the smallest desire to the biggest dream by first envisioning the idea. Your passion will grow if you see yourself living your dream first. Do not waver away from that dream because then it will disappear. The secret of living your passion is having the patience to see it materialize. Like the slow growth of that newly planted seed sometimes the change is not easily apparent

but soon that seed emerges as a bud and begins to blossom into the beautiful flower you envisioned. Your planting was filled with preparation and hard work yet your goal of a flower garden materialized although slowly. Embrace your passions, plant the seeds and watch them bloom for all to see. Manifest your goals into reality. Like in nature, the rain feeds and cleanses the Earth. We urge you to do your own Spring cleaning. De-clutter our homes, lives and heads. Let Go of the negative thoughts and anything weighing us down: the people or things we can’t change or control. We need to clear and rejuvenate our Mind and Body. Try a Facial, Body Wrap or even exfoliate dry winter Hair, with a cut-colorrejuvenate condition for a new look and attitude. An Ionic Detox Foot Bath will draw out the toxins in your body. Rejuvenate your Mind and Body and get back on track to feeling your very best. • Ellen Pellegrino – Age of New Beginnings Salon & Spa, 631-320-1640, ageofnewbeginnings.com

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BEAUTY TRENDS

by Grazia Cooney and Colleen White

New mommy hair by Adriana Vater This month is dedicated to all the moms out there. You are an inspiration. Your families look up to you, your children idolize you but all that hard work can take its toll. Don’t forget to take some time to pamper yourself because you’re worth it. Book a spa treatment. Get away from it all with some muchneeded relaxation time. Come in and let us help you balance your Chakras! Rejuvenating facials work wonders to brighten skin. They can slough off wintry layers and moisturize skin to prepare it for summer. This hydration is a must for soon-to-be-moms and new moms, as moisturizers increase elasticity and reduce stretch marks. Re-evaluate the ‘do. Grab some magazines and check out new shapes and styles. A trendy length that’s low–maintenance is just past the shoulder, which can be pulled into a ponytail or pushed back with a headband. Long hair can also be “mom-friendly” and very hip. Try a long fishtail braid in the back or thinner braids along the sides of the face for panache. Tie in a scarf by threading it through the braid for a bohemian look. Hair color needs to remain natural-looking. Stay away from stripey looks and chunky blocks of color in the hair. Get outside! Sunshine works wonders on the skin and the soul. Take a walk on the beach, ride a bike, find make time for yourself -- you deserve it.

• Adriana Vater, Spa Adriana Salon & Spa, 631-351-1555 spaadriana.com 12

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As a new Mom, it’s hard to pull off an awesome hair day when you’ve got spit-up on you, you’re just tired from the sleepless night before, and you probably can’t even remember when the last time you felt a good lather in your hair. Don’t worry, here are some tips to help you through your day. Pony Up: A classic pony is a great way to look put together in minutes and get your hair out of the way. Dry and Go: Moms, need a hairdryer that will dry hair 70 percent faster than others? I highly recommend a tourmaline-infused hairdryer. They are a little pricier, but help new Moms get done faster when it comes to drying your hair. If you really don’t have time for yourself and you want to cut corners, get yourself a dry shampoo or use good old fashioned baby powder at the roots, then comb through. It will cut grease away all day and add freshness to your hair. Don’t overdo it with the powder, though, you don’t want to look tired and grey. Take time out to trim: Get out! It’s OK to take time for yourself as a new Mom. Book a sitter or a family member and go see your stylist. It will give you a chance to have your time and help you get over the “baby blues” that a lot of new Moms go through after the birth of their baby. I recommend you wait 6 weeks after delivery to have any chemical services done, but come in and get your hair washed, trimmed and blown out. You are allowed to think about yourself. It will only make you feel better, and give you a new sense of self. Congratulations and Happy Mother’s Day! Enjoy every moment with your baby, the time goes by so fast! • Grazia Cooney and Colleen White, CSI Salon & Spa, 631-320-1554, csihairsalon.com

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The ParamounT is the place to host your next private party! Our unique, versatile and accommodating venue is a raw urban space with unparalleled atmosphere and intimacy. We welcome receptions that range from a simple cocktail party to fully seated corporate functions, as well as weddings and other special events. Each event can be custom tailored to your desires and tastes with the help of one of our experienced special event coordinators. Our marquis, urban chic interior design, and performance stage equipped with full production, sound, and lighting gives the Paramount the ability to transform your event into a rock concert, a club, or a fairytale. Imagine the Possibilities!

LONG ISLAND BRIDE

On Gino: Black tuxedo by Oscar de la Renta On Coryn: (top) Kathy Hilton, one shoulder fan ruffled chiffon cocktail dress. On Lauren: (left,bottom) Jenny Yoo, Antique White Creative Collection. Available at Nordstrom.

LONG ISLAND BRIDE

On Gino: Black tuxedo by Oscar de la Renta. On Coryn: (top left) Nicole Miller “Monroe” Halter. On Lauren: (top right) Theia Sequin Strapless Mermaid Gown, Available at Nordstrom. On Coryn: (left) Kathy Hilton, one shoulder fan ruffled chiffon cocktail dress. Available at Nordstrom.

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LONG ISLAND BRIDE

On Eva: Lisa Curran Striped Bikini, Tom Ford Sunglasses. On Tia: Vince Yellow Mesh Blouse, Theory White Canvas Shorts, Tom Ford Sunglasses. On Kelly: Blue and White Dress by Diane von Furstenburg, Tom Ford Sunglasses. On Jim: MiH Lavender Pants with White Linen Sportshirt by Angelo Nardelli, Maui Jim Sunglasses, Ugg Shoes.

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and Makeup • Creative and Artistic Updos

• Red Carpet and Classic Hair Design • Trials/Engagement Shoots & Special Occasions • Custom and SoCap Hair Extensions • Hair and Makeup for any size party • Certified in Brazilian Keratin Treatments Weddings are a special time for all of us, Whether you are attending as a guest, a bridesmaid or you are the bride to be. Hairstyles become a part of who you are that day. They say ROMAnCE, ClASSiC, fUn or fliRTy. When your hair looks good, you feel confident. At CSi Salon our goal is to give you top notch service on your day, whether you bring 2 or 3 girls or your entire wedding party! Our staff will give full attention to each and every detail and make your day the one you have always dreamed of. So turn some heads for that special occasion and get the look you want at CSi Salon. © Charles Philip Photography

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PHOTOGRaPHeR, Charlie Murcha Charles Philip Photography 631-921-5368, charlesphilipphoto@yahoo.com

BRIDAL BEAUTY

by Patricia McManus

Spring is a season filled with promise, and often many happy celebrations. It is also a time to remember to thank Mom on Mother’s Day. Women tend to nurture their family and put everyone else’s needs before their own. Mom, you have to take care of yourself too. This does not mean you have to be beauty obsessed. Why wait for that one day to pamper or take care of yourself, when you should be putting your best look forward every day? Take time to thank yourself, you deserve it. Age is not the enemy; the faux pas many women commit is to hold onto their old hair style. Hair can be ageless with the correct products and a classic but trendy hair style. Environment and sun exposure can play havoc with your hair. Try a Keratin treatment or a glaze that fills the cuticle of the hair for a healthy glow. Getting your hair done can be better than therapy! Spring is also wedding season. Calling all brides: Want to feel like royalty on your special day? Many salons will send their experts right to YOU to create the ideal look for your hair and makeup. You will emerge looking and feeling like as a princess! Don’t forget to include your whole wedding party too! On this day, each photo will capture the memories for a lifetime. Fairy tales can come true!

• Patricia McManus – patmystudio.com 631-543-0106, patmystudio@optonline.net may 2012

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LONG ISLAND BRIDE

by Bonne Marano-Marcus

very bride-to-be wants to look her very best on her wedding day. Since we know it’s all about the dress, your workout should be catered toward what you’re wearing. My wedding dress workout will help you improve the assets that your particular dress will show off. To get started, find the dress style that most closely matches yours, and then check out the various workout options for each. If your dress combines many of these different features and styles, then try more than one workout. To get optimum results, work each body part twice each week. After each workout, allow at least 48 hours for proper recovery. Please select weights that are challenging. You are NOT going to get bulky using heavier weights. That’s a myth that just keeps women from getting strong. When you’re training efficiently, your last reps should feel really hard, and you should not be able to do another without compromising proper form. Remember that toning the muscle is only part of the battle; if your muscles are covered by a layer of body fat, make sure to kick up your cardio workouts to burn excess fat and evaluate your eating habits to ensure your newly sleek muscles will show.

the Wedding dress

workout

The Wedding Dress Workout shot on location at The JCC, East Hills, NY, sjcc.org and activewear by Zella provided Nordstrom

give rise to The BUSTLINe If you are one of the many brides-to-be preparing to walk down the aisle this summer in a gown with a sweetheart neckline but your bust isn’t rising to the occasion here are a few of my favorite exercises to perk up your pecs. Do the following exercises in a circuit. Repeat 2-3 times.

A. C.

t Stability Ball Push-Up

Drape yourself over the stability ball as pictured. (A) First select your level: Beginners will “walk” the hands out until the ball is positioned under the knees, with your hands slightly wider than shoulder width apart. (B) For the more advanced, position the ball under the shins or even the tops of the sneakers. (C) Keep your hands slightly wider than shoulder width apart, your back straight, and your abs contracted with your booty down and your spine aligned. The start or “up” position is with your arms straight. Inhale as you lower yourself toward the floor (D) and exhale as you push yourself up from the floor. Start with 10 repetitions and work your way up to 25.

Kettlebell ™ Single Arm Press u Position yourself on the ball as pictured with your head, shoulders and upper back resting on the ball. Feet should be parallel and shoulder width apart. Knees are bent to about 90 degrees with your thighs and torso at or nearly parallel to the floor. Place the kettlebell kettlebell™ in your right hand and bring it upward to a position directly above your chest, arms with your elbows straight but not locked. (A) Slowly lower the kettlebell kettlebell™ down to a 90 degree angle as pictured (B) and return to the start position. Repeat 20 times and switch to the other arm.

t Stability Ball Chest Flyes

A. The Wedding Dress Workout shot on location at The JCC, East Hills, NY, sjcc.org

Position yourself on the ball as pictured. Bring the dumbbells upward to a position directly above your chest, arms should be shoulderwidth apart or closer, with your elbows straight but not locked. (A) Keep a slight bend in the elbows as you lower the dumbbells in a wide arc until they are parallel to the floor as pictured. (B) Return to the start position and repeat 20 times. may 2012

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LONG ISLAND BRIDE A BETTER BOTTOM! And a six-pack too! Form-fitted, sheath, and hourglass styles cling to the body, drawing attention to the belly, butt and thighs. Here are a few of my favorite booty sculpting and core exercises! They are great for short wedding gowns allowing you to show off those gorgeous legs! Do the following exercises in a circuit. Repeat 2-3 times.

Walking Lunges with Body Bar Twist AKA â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Wedding Marchâ&#x20AC;? u Holding a body bar in front of your chest as pictured (A) begin the lunge by taking a large step forward with your right foot, keeping your head up and torso erect, shoulders directly over the hips. Lower your hips and allow your left knee to drop to a point just before it touches the floor. (B) Hold the lunge position and rotate the A. B. upper body to the right and back to center. (C) Step the left foot in to meet the right and repeat on the opposite leg. Using long, controlled steps, lunge forward in a walking motion either from one end of the room to other or around the perimeter of the room.

p Plie Squat Travel with

Side Bend

Stand with your feet together, your toes and knees turned out comfortably holding a 4- pound medicine ball as pictured. (A) Keep your back straight and abs contracted. As you take a big step to the right, bend your knees and lowering your hips (think sliding down an imaginary wall) into a squat raise the ball over the head. (B) Holding the squat position, bend at your waist to the right return to center (C) before dragging your left foot to the right and reverse the direction by taking a big step with the left foot. 28

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Single Leg Hip Extension p

Lie on your back on the floor with your knees bent, one foot on the floor and the other on a medicine ball and raise one foot into the air as pictured. (A) Push the hips up until your hips are at full extension. (B) Return to the starting position and repeat for the prescribed repetitions. Do 25 reps and repeat with the other leg.

The Wedding Dress Workout shot on location at The JCC, East Hills, NY, sjcc.org and activewear by Zella provided Nordstrom

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Stability Ball Crunches p Lay with your middle back on the stability ball, feet shoulder width apart with your hands behind your head as pictured. (A) Keep your chin off of your chest and slowly curl forward, bringing your rib cage toward your hips. (B) Slowly return to start position and repeat 30 times.

Bicycles u Lie on your back keeping your lower back pressed into the floor and flatten the arch of your lower back; place your fingers on the side of your head just behind your ears. Bend your knees so that your thighs are at about a 90-degree angle to the floor. Simultaneously, lift your shoulders off the floor and bring your left knee to your right armpit, while straightening your right leg. Using a slow bicycle-pedaling motion, straighten your left leg, while bringing your right knee in toward your left armpit. Extend your legs out only as far as is comfortable for you, without arching your back. Continue alternating for one minute.

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Equalizer Bar ™ Lateral Kick p Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. Hold onto the equalizer bar™ with one hand. (A) Raise the opposite foot off the ground and (B) kick laterally out to the side. Keep the leg and foot elevated and repeat according to the prescribed repetitions. Do 25 reps and repeat with the other leg.

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LONG ISLAND BRIDE ARMED for the big day! If you are one of the many brides-to-be preparing to walk down the aisle this summer in a tank top, spaghetti strap or strapless gown, but your arms and shoulders aren’t looking anything like you’d really like them to, here are a few of my favorite arm and shoulder exercises to help you tone your arms for the big day (and beyond).. Do the following exercises in a circuit. Repeat 2-3 times.

Lebert ™ Basic Triceps Extension u Start by placing both hands on top of one equalizer bar™ and form a straight line with your body at an angle and your knees on the ground for support as pictured. (A) Bend your elbows so that they come down towards the floor. (B) Once you have reached full range of motion press your hands into the bar to extend your arms to full extension. Repeat 15 times.

t Triceps Extensions

with a Resistance Band

Position yourself on your knees with a resistance band under your shins as pictured. (A) Hold the band in both hands and raise your arms above your head, biceps aligned next to your ears. Bend your elbows to a 90-degree angle behind your head (B) and then fully extend the arms without locking your elbows. Repeat 30 times or until the arms are fatigued.

Kettlebell™ Triceps Extensions u Lie down on your back with your knees bent; arms extended holding the kettlebell™ with the hands around the “ball” and handle pointed to the back as pictured. (A) Bend at the elbow bringing the kettlebell™ close to the hairline.(B) Straighten the arms, making sure to keep the upper arm and elbow stationary throughout the movement. 30

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The Wedding Dress Workout shot on location at The JCC, East Hills, NY, sjcc.org and activewear by Zella provided Nordstrom

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Static Biceps Curl p Standing with knees slightly bent holding one arm at 90 degrees and the other arm extended as pictured. (A) While one arm curls the dumbbell the other arm remains in a static hold. (B) Do 5 reps and switch arms 4 times.

fitness May 2012

Shrink Your Belly!

Strength Training, Balance & Cardio

“L” Raises p Stand with the right arm by the side and the left arm in front of the thigh as pictured. (A) Raise both arms to create the letter “L”. (B) Repeat 20 times and switch side.

“V” Press p Hold weights just above your shoulders as pictured. (A) Press the arms up and out slightly, so that at the top of the motion your arms create the letter “V”. (B) Repeat 20 times.

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LONG ISLAND BRIDE We’re bringing SEXY BACK! If you are one of the many brides-to-be preparing to walk down the aisle this summer in a halter top or open back gown but the view from the back is less than desirable, here are a few of my favorite upper back and shoulder exercises that will enhance your posture and bring sexy back. Do the following exercises in a circuit. Repeat 2-3 times.

Resistance Band Rowing u Wrap the band to a stationary object at about waist height. (When you’re seated, the band will in line with your chest.) Sit on the stability ball holding the band as pictured. (A) Pull the arms back, grazing elbow behind rib cage. (B) As you draw your arms back, squeeze your shoulder blades together and slowly return to start and repeat. Do 25 reps.

t Kettlebell™

Upright Row

Standing with good posture grab the kettlebell™ handle with both hands as pictured. (A) Pull the kettlebell™ towards your chin and keep the weight as close to your chest as possible until your arms are parallel to the ground and the kettlebell™ is at your chest and lower to the start position. (B) Repeat 20 times.

Vertical Row with the Equalizer Bar™ u This is a great way to work the back and biceps. This inverted row is great for the upper back (posture) muscles! To do this right, make sure the Equalizer™ bars are set up as shown, keep the head back and hips up and have your feet flat on the floor with knees up. (A) Pull as high as possible, pause and lower slowly. (B) Start with 10 repetitions and work up to 20 reps. 32

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The Wedding Dress Workout shot on location at The JCC, East Hills, NY, sjcc.org and activewear by Zella provided Nordstrom

WOMAN MAKING A DIFFERENCE WOMAN MAKING A DIFFERENCE

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When I think back to that developing a core stability very moment in 1998, I felt by engaging a combination my world come crashing of muscles-rectus, down! I was the daughter transversal, and internal of a prominent ob-gyn, so and external obliquesto be told I had invasive through deep breathing. cervical cancer felt like This entire process is a death sentence to me. necessary for muscle The cancer was detected balance and stability. through a cervical biopsy. Postural stability, or To make matters worse, balance, is the ability of the attending physician the body to maintain its did not phone right away center of gravity within to give me the results. its base of support and Consequently, I thought the limits of its stability. no news was good news. Once balance is achieved, Wrong! It was stage IB. the muscles are lined up The gynecological properly with the spine, oncologists and you have performed a perfectacenter. radical hysterectomy and surgical removal my JourNey of the uterus, CoNTiNues cervix, and part of the vagina. Area lymph Innodes 2003 Iwere was removed. asked to lead Ovaries an exercise and fallopian component tubes were for a taken, program too.called Strength to Strength for the Sid Jacobson Because Jewish there Community was no history Center of breast in Roslyn, cancerNew in my York. family, This free, the attending cancer-wellness physician program recommended for adults hormone offered replacement a unique combination therapy. Myofrecovery group exercise took six classes weeks and andno strenuous supportive exercise, counseling but itservices. took a full The year classes to heal arefrom geared theto inside the specialized out. needs of people recovering from or actively Now, engaged For in cancer The Dilemma treatment; their caregivers are also welcome When to a surgeon attend. operates on a cancer patient, he fixes the problem Strengthstructurally. to Strength is Hea relies huge part on a of visualization my life. It’sofan structure extensionthrough of my own modalities family.such I wanted as x-rays, to learn MRIs, more and/or to surgery be bettertoprepared remove the to help cancer. my Unfortunately, cancer clients, functionally, so in 2010 the I became muscles a Certified may not be Cancer balanced; Exercise theySpecialist. fall out of As alignment a due CES, to Istructural am skilled change in evaluating from surgery. health Ibehaviors found thisand outrisk the hard factors, way.conducting As a retired comprehensive professional dancer, fitness when assessments, I tried to writing execute appropriate a grand plié exercise and had recommendations, a tough time pushing motivating off the individuals floor, I knew to modify I would negative have tohealth work habits from the andinside maintain first positive before lifestyle I couldbehavior fix the outside to promote of my health. body.The As aCes fitness professional program provides with 29ayears complete experience understanding I knew exactly of thewhat entire Icancer neededprocess, to do. I started from disease a rigorous to treatment, regiment ofrecovery, Pilates. I became prevention a certified of lymphedema, Pilates instructor and contraindications. in mat and apparatus I teach through my clients Physical that perfect Mind Institute formula for andrecovery have spent is one-third the last 12 years treatment, teaching one-third Pilates.diet, and one-third exercise. I thank God whaT I am here is and PilaTes? am so grateful to help others. Pilates The Sidwas Jacobson named JCC for its will inventor, be sponsoring Joseph Pilates, a 5K Run/ the Walk first onphysical June 10,therapist. 2012, at 9:00 He worked a.m. towith promote World funding War I veterans for continuation with severe of the spinal Strength cord injuries, to Strength using freepulleys wellness and weights program. toPlease stabilize come their and spines. join us Hethat eventually morninggravitated in East Hills, to the andUnited run or States walk totofight opencancer. his own studio. In my perception, his philosophy creates -Susan a perfect Touché, harmony CancerinExercise the body, Specialist 34

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developing a core stability by engaging a combination of muscles-rectus, transversal, and internal and external obliquesthrough deep breathing. This entire process is necessary for muscle balance and stability. Postural stability, or balance, is the ability of the body to maintain its center of gravity within its base of support and the limits of its stability. Once balance is achieved, the muscles are lined up properly with the spine,

and you have a perfect center. my JourNey CoNTiNues In 2003 I was asked to lead an exercise component for a program called Strength to Strength for the Sid Jacobson Jewish Community Center in Roslyn, New York. This free, cancer-wellness program for adults offered a unique combination of group exercise classes and supportive counseling services. The classes are geared to the specialized needs of people recovering from or actively engaged in cancer treatment; their caregivers are also welcome to attend. Strength to Strength is a huge part of my life. It’s an extension of my own family. I wanted to learn more to be better prepared to help my cancer clients, so in 2010 I became a Certified Cancer Exercise Specialist. As a CES, I am skilled in evaluating health behaviors and risk factors, conducting comprehensive fitness assessments, writing appropriate exercise recommendations, motivating individuals to modify negative health habits and maintain positive lifestyle behavior to promote health. The Ces program provides a complete understanding of the entire cancer process, from disease to treatment, recovery, prevention of lymphedema, and contraindications. I teach my clients that perfect formula for recovery is one-third treatment, one-third diet, and one-third exercise. I thank God I am here and am so grateful to help others. The Sid Jacobson JCC will be sponsoring a 5K Run/ Walk on June 10, 2012, at 9:00 a.m. to promote funding for continuation of the Strength to Strength free wellness program. Please come and join us that morning in East Hills, and run or walk to fight cancer. -Susan Touché, Cancer Exercise Specialist

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The easiesT five pounds you will ever lose by Carol Burke

What bride out there doesn’t want to look her best on her wedding day? Well, looking your best does take some hard work! You are probably wearing a sleeveless gown, fitted at the waist. So, you want your arms and shoulders to look their best. Not to mention the need for a flat tummy. Honeymooning anywhere warm? Well then, don’t forget your legs and backside. So what are we missing here? Nothing, really. So what are you waiting for? It’s time to get started! First off, your posture is the most important element here. Over time, poor posture may be caused by everyday activities such as sitting all day long, driving, standing or being on the computer. Slouching puts extra pressure on your back and neck. Soon, poor posture becomes second nature, causing back pain and even damaging spinal structures. But it may not be too late. Go stand in front of the mirror and check out what you look like. Relax, be yourself and take a good hard look. Are you standing tall? Chest up? Chin up? Abs tight? Shoulders down and back? Hopefully you answered yes to all four. If not, well stand up straight! You probably look an inch taller and 5 pounds lighter! (Easiest 5 lbs you’ll ever lose) Remind yourself throughout the day to sit up and stand up straight until it becomes natural again. Changing your position often also helps you maintain good posture. Don’t underestimate the power of superb posture. Everyone looks taller, leaner and more confident when they are standing up straight. And your spine will thank you. Proper posture is also absolutely important when you hit the gym to tone up. When exercising, whether doing cardio or weight training, it is of utmost importance to remember to position yourself with good posture. Proper posture helps you isolate your muscles better, therefore increasing results and keeping injury at bay. Congratulations to all you beautiful brides out there! Enjoy your special day! • Carol Burke, Power of One Fitness Studio, 631-757-6937, powerofoneny.com

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HEALTH AND WELLNESS

A Smile

Wedding White

by Dr. Richard Rongo

Congratulations! You’re getting married! You’re looking for the perfect place, the perfect dress and the perfect cake. You’re hitting the gym hard and trying different hairstyles. What about your smile? Your wedding day is arguably the day that you will have more pictures taken of you than any other time in your life. Shouldn’t you have the most beautiful smile possible? There are many options and many price points for improving your smile. Porcelain veneers are the most complete and dramatic way to make over your smile. And many new techniques allow for minimal alteration to natural teeth. Veneers can be fairly expensive, but they provide you with lots of control on positioning, color, shape and size of your teeth. It is by far the most dramatic and complete way to make over your smile. Plan on $1,000+ per tooth. Repositioning your teeth is another option. Traditional orthodontics or clear braces such as Invisalign™ not only correct malpositioned teeth for improving esthetics, but also offer the added health benefit of improving your periodontal (gum) health by making cleaning your teeth easier and more efficient. Generally speaking, it can take from 3 -24 months for treatment to be complete depending on your individual case, so be sure to inquire about it as soon as you get engaged. It can cost anywhere from $5,000.00 to $8,000.00 . Whitening is another option. There are various ways you can whiten your teeth. There are one-hour in-office treatments. They cost about $500.00. Although very effective, they may cause sensitivity which can be quite uncomfortable. If you are planning on going this route, be sure to do it well in advance of your big day so that there is no chance of you suffering any discomfort on your wedding day. Another option is custom bleaching trays made by your dentist. These trays run about $300.00 and are custom-fit to your mouth. The dentist gives you prescription strength bleaching gel which you apply to the inside of the tray and then wear the trays for about half an hour a day for 7 days. The ability to control the amount of material and time you spend wearing the trays makes this a good option. Also remember, whitening is not permanent. With custom trays you can just order more gel for about $80.00 and touchup when necessary. Over-the-counter whitening strips are the least expensive option. Since the bleaching gel is not prescription strength, it may be less effective, and lack of a custom fitted tray will provide less control over excess material. As you prepare for your big day, remember to keep your dental health and beauty on your to-do list. Not only is it important to look good, but you also want to be sure you have a checkup and cleaning before the big day. Nothing can ruin a honeymoon like a toothache, so be sure you see your dentist before the big day!

• Dr. Richard Rongo – Huntington Village Dental, 631-423-7022, huntingtonvillagedental.com 36

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HEALTH AND WELLNESS

USING THE INTERNET IN PURSUIT OF HEALTHCARE by Susan M. Montana Patients and providers alike should be utilizing the internet in their pursuit of healthcare. The first point of connection, the patient and the provider meeting might be the most important part. If you are a patient, and you need to connect with a provider for a particular condition, how do you choose? If you’re a provider and you want to be able to connect with new patients, how do they find, then select you? Here are just a few options: InSurance coMpany LIStS If a patient is fortunate enough to have access to health insurance, the insurance company maintains a list of providers who participate in their insurance plans. These lists may be available in hard copy form, or more commonly, on the insurance company’s website. Patients can use these lists to narrow down their choices based upon name recognition or geographic location.

Internet SearcheS There are MANY sources of provider information available online. Patients today can post their experiences, both good and bad, on one of dozens of healthcare opinion and experience websites, such as healthgrades.com, vitals.com and ratemds. com, to name just a few. Word of Mouth Often, the first choice for a patient is a provider who comes with a glowing recommendation from a friend or family member. Sometimes, the recommendation is so compelling, the patient doesn’t care if the provider is in their network or not. The same word of mouth system can have the exact opposite effect, where a bad experience can steer a patient AWAY from a prospective provider. Providers, what are your current and prior patients telling their friends and family? And keep in mind, unsatisfactory experiences with office and billing staff can negatively reflect on otherwise good medical care! • Susan M. Montana – 631-244-5661, Sue@HabaneroInc.com

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HEALTH AND WELLNESS

Removing YouR “elevens” To make YouRself a “Ten” by Dr. Scott Blyer In a sea of facial wrinkles, two wrinkles stand tall, always regarded as the most offensive of all signs of facial aging. Perhaps their association with being angry or sinister; the frown lines, or “the elevens” as they are called, are responsible for their objectionable reputation. These frown lines are caused by facial muscles squinting or frowning. When making such expressions, those vertical lines are typically present. When at rest, if the line is absent this is referred to as a dynamic wrinkle. Its treatment is simply Botox® Cosmetic or an equivalent neurotoxin. When the line is present even at rest, the wrinkle is a static or imprinted wrinkle.

The imprinted wrinkle is a result of chronic expression and anatomical changes that have taken place within the skin. Although Botox® may help mildly, these lines are still present. Volume restoration is needed to correct these lines. Its behavior is similar to that of a scar. While common fillers (Juvederm®, Radiesse®, Restylane®, etc.) can be used “off label” to restore volume in most areas of the face, caution must be taken using them as an option in this area. Blood vessels supplying the forehead skin often run in these creases. Injecting a filler into these vessels can compromise the blood supply to the forehead, resulting in necrotic (dead skin). The skin will

die off, resulting in a black patch which can cause a permanent scar. This problem was the genesis for my concept of facial threading. In this technique, slowly dissolving stitches are used like a filler to occupy the space in the crypts of the wrinkle. The stitches used dissolve over months, and the body replaces it with scar tissue. This gives a long lasting result of facial rejuvenation. By using a thread this way, the vessels are pushed aside, rather than being injured or occluded. The results are long lasting, safe removal or reduction of frown lines, with no downtime. • Dr. Scott Blyer – Cameo Surgery, 631-232-2626, cameosurgery.com

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MOM’S GETTING BRACES by Dr. Inna Gellerman Orthodontics aren’t just for teenagers! One in five Americans being treated by orthodontists today are adults. Adult teeth move in the same way for a 50 year old as a 13 year old, so orthodontics can be used to make a healthy, beautiful smile at any age. Many Moms wait until their children’s teeth have been corrected before embarking on their own journey to a lovely smile. Less visible orthodontic materials and appliances have contributed to the growing popularity of adult braces, another reason not to wait for braces. Some malocclusions (bad bites) may become worse if left untreated. Start with a consultation with an orthodontist. At our office, our free consultations begin with a series of orthodontic studies using a 3-D cone-beam imaging system and digital photographs. These are used to develop a personal treatment plan, and also allow us to track progress as the teeth move into alignment. We explain carefully what happens during treatment, how many appointments will be needed, and what you can expect throughout the entire process. With SureSmile®, Invisalign® and Incognito™, we offer a full array of cutting-edge treatment options to meet the needs of all patients. Our office is the only orthodontic office on Long Island that offers SureSmile®, the state-ofthe-art computerized treatment that can reduce treatment time from that of conventional braces by 40%. For those who want a treatment that is more discreet, Invisalign® or Incognito™ are innovative and effective options. Invisalign® uses a series of removable, invisible aligners to straighten the teeth. Incognito™ braces are placed behind the teeth and are barely visible. So whether you are a Mom or even a Grandmom, now is a great time to give yourself the gift of a spectacular smile. • Dr. Inna Gellerman – Spectacular Smiles, 631-427-8444, drgellerman.com

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FOOD & NUTRITION

Cool

Keepin’ it with healthy eating by Tami Racaniello Now is the time of year to think about cooking…as little as possible. Why stand over a hot burner, or have the oven on at 400 degrees, when you have cooler options. It’s also a great time to try being vegan or vegetarian. Even if you are a part-time veggie, you will reap the rewards of feeling better overall, and having more energy. My recipes are designed to be easy and versatile, and they taste exciting and are pleasing to the palate. Try recipes like this, and see how good you will feel. You’ll even save money on your A/C bill since you won’t have to counteract all that heat, and your grocery bill will be less as you’ll be buying less meat.

Super-EmPOWERed Chocolate Mint Smoothie 1 ½ to 2 cups of nut milk, 1 frozen banana, 1-2 Tbsp of raw cocoa powder, 1\8 tsp mint extract, and a large handful of baby spinach. You may need to add a little more water as you blend. Not sweet enough? Add 1-2 dates or a tbsp of agave.

Yummilicious Avocado and Basil Mayo

Ingredients: 2 ripe avocados, halved, pitted, and scooped out of skins Large handful of fresh basil leaves 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil 2 teaspoons fresh lemon or lime juice 1 garlic clove, peeled and minced Sea salt and black pepper, to taste Directions: Combine basil, garlic, and pinch of sea salt in food processor. Process ingredients until mixed. Add avocados and process until smooth. Blend in juice of lemon or lime, & oil, add salt & pepper. Use in place of regular mayo on veggie burgers or sandwiches, or mix into quinoa as a side dish. • Tami Racaniello It’s Time To Get Fit joinus@itstimetogetfit.com

Live Your Best Healthy Life by Colleen Simon

Wouldn’t it feel great to wake up early every day with abundant energy, a laser-sharp mind, and no aches and pains? Imagine your immune system in peak condition, protecting you from illness and disease. Here are a few things that you should do to make this the healthiest year of your life. Drink plenty of pure water. (Alkaline pH water when possible) Water strengthens the immune system, promotes weight loss, and carries waste from the body. Drink half your body weight in water. • Increase your physical activity. Physical activity should be as high a priority as eating and sleeping. Try some form of aerobic exercise at least five days a week and resistance exercise at least two or three times a week. • Limit your carbohydrate intake. Try to avoid simple carbs such as potatoes, corn, baked goods, sugars, and other sweets. Stick to more complex carbs such as nonstarchy vegetables, greens, nuts, berries, beans and fruits. • Consume good sources of natural fats. Avoid any products made with hydrogenated oils. Replace vegetable 40

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oils with olive oil and organic unrefined coconut oil. Increase your intake of omega 3 fats found in fish oil, grass-fed meat, walnuts, organic eggs, and flaxseeds. • Eat protein at every meal. A lack of protein sends your brain the signal that food is scarce and prompts the body to protect itself from the “famine” by storing excess fat. • Eliminate artificial sweeteners. The worst offender is aspartame, marketed as Nutrasweet or Equal. They have been linked to tumors, seizures, headaches and chronic fatigue. Avoid Splenda as well. For an all- natural substitute use Stevia extract. • Get enough rest. While the body is at rest your brain organizes memories, muscles are repaired and restored, and the immune system is rejuvenated. • Take sensible supplements. You should get most of your nutrients from high-quality whole foods, but any nutritional program can be enhanced by supplements with appropriate vitamins and minerals. Now go live your best life ever! • Colleen Simon -Health Hutt Inc., 631-615-2179, healthhuttinc.com

Patricia Chauvin

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by Jo Ann Bellistri You can live without food for a few weeks and you can live without water for a few days, but you can only live without air for a few minutes. Oxygen is our most important nutrient. It provides energy for breathing, growth, maintenance and detoxification. Fresh air boosts mood, improves lung function, helps us sleep better and refreshes our cells. Unfortunately most of us are not getting enough fresh air. According to the EPA, we spend almost 90% of our time indoors, whether it’s in our homes, offices, schools or cars. Fresh air is a rare treat for most of us. Indoor air is polluted with synthetic products such as carpeting, upholstery, paint, wallpaper, ceiling tiles and much more. The chemicals we use to clean our homes are harmful and the products we use to make our homes smell good, like scented candles and air fresheners, all contribute to poor indoor air quality. House plants can help filter some of the toxins, but your best bet is to head outdoors to get some fresh air. Tips for getting more fresh air: • Go for a walk every day. Take long, mindful breaths and head toward the trees or running water, where the air is the cleanest. • Open all the windows wide and let the fresh air flow. Even in the winter, it’s important to open your windows for a few minutes everyday. You can even sleep with your bedroom window open. • Add indoor plants throughout your house and office. Houseplants can filter out toxins and provide a great source of oxygen. • Avoid air fresheners. Sprays, plug-ins and powders all pollute your air. Simmer cloves and cinnamon sticks in a pot of water for a natural air freshener. For strong odors such as fish, put a small bowl of distilled vinegar in a pan of boiled water (off of the hot burner) and the bad smell will disappear in less than an hour. • Skip the stuffy gym and exercise outdoors; your cells will love you for it! Try running, hiking, biking or even brisk walking. • Jo Ann Bellistri All That Wellness Inc. 516-769-7602 allthatwellness.com

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Suzanne Wachtel is our relationship specialist. Please send in your questions so that she can help you find the solutions. Dear Suzanne: I am getting married in July and my parents are divorced. My mother is re-married and my father is not. My parents do not get along and I am always in the middle. My Mom and step-dad are paying for most of the wedding and they insist on walking me down the aisle, leaving my Dad out. I love my father but he has not contributed much to my life monetarily, what should I do? I am so upset that I want to call off the whole thing! - Lola G., Dix Hills Dear Lola, Stop! First of all, let’s try to remember why you are getting married to begin with. You met someone, fell in love and decided to share your lives together. The wedding is “just” the ceremony and party to celebrate your love and union. You do not want to start your marriage with a negative experience. Remember this wedding is about YOU and your FIANCE, not your parents. If you want your father to walk you down the aisle, then be strong and express your desire, if you want your mother ,father and step-father to be included then ask them all to walk you and let them either suck it up for the love of you or fight it out! Either way, this day is about you and your future husband, NOT about your parents and their monetary issues! This is your day! Enjoy it, don’t let anyone spoil it. Dear Suzanne: My fiancé wants to have his bachelor party in Vegas and I don’t feel comfortable with that. I know some of his friends are wild and cheat on their girlfriends. Every time I try to discuss this with him he gets mad at me and tells me I am paranoid. I feel bullied, like I have no say in the matter. Help me please, what is the best way to handle this? - Laura G., Syosset Dear Laura, First of all, invalidating your feelings about ANY issue is going to lead to a lot of anger and resentment. Men and women can feel very differently about many topics. Your fiancé needs to consider your feelings in all decisions and listen to your reasons. He may not agree, but not considering your feelings now is going to become a very bad habit going forward. If control is not the issue here but trust is, then he needs to consider his bachelor party plans. Many couples today are using these bachelor and bachelorette parties as an excuse for one last hurrah! Learning to negotiate conflicts and compromising is going to be the key to a healthy, happy, loving marriage! Nip this in the bud before you marry him. You need to have a plan in place for future conflict and trust me, there will always be conflicts! Call Suzanne Wachtel at 631-525-3646. E-mail your questions to Swachtellcsw@gmail.com. 42

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A WOMEN’S RETREAT On a sunny March morning, a group of women gathered in a circle to define what they expected to gain from their experience at the retreat that day. Some were looking for connection, others were seeking awareness and a few were just curious, wanting to learn more about spiritual and positive thinking, Each woman had been asked to select a rock. After introductions, the women were asked to think about something in their lives that they wanted to let go of, then a marker was passed around to write on the rock: guilt, jealousy, anger, insecurity, etc… The women were instructed to hold onto their rock as they one by one walk through the woods on the trail breathing in the fresh air. The women arrive at our magical spot to do our spiritual work. One by one each woman walked up to a previously dug hole to drop her rock and say goodbye to whatever pain she chose to give away that day, as she turns to go sit we “sage” her to remove any negative energy and she takes her seat. When everyone is seated in the woods, the meditation and chanting begins, clearing any toxic energy and opening up all channels to receive positive thoughts and feelings. As we called our ancestors before us to share the moment, the feeling was absolutely empowering! As the ceremonies came to an end, the women lined up in two rows and one by one a woman walks through the rows with her eyes closed while all the others send her love. This is called an “Angel Walk”. Each woman passes through and at the end places a shovel of dirt on her rock as a final good bye to their pain. As a special treat each woman is instructed on how to hug a tree and absorb in the powerful energy that comes up through the earth, into the tree and giving each woman a sense of true power and strength. As we walk back on the trail. each woman needs to collect a rock to take back to our group. In nature, BALANCE is the key to harmony and happiness. So we collect a rock and find what we want to replace with the “pain rock” we left behind and buried. The rock collected on the trail is to keep and remind us what we want to add to our lives like, love, friendship, peace, abundance, gratitude etc. Our next retreat is scheduled for Sunday, May 20, 2012. This will be a woman’s beach retreat. For information on upcoming retreats contact: Suzanne Watchel, 631-525-3646 or contact Luann Skolnik 516-313-0733.

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FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

Finding Vera part one

by Maryann DeSimone There is a special bond between sisters, having my own, I know. I have three beautiful daughters: Katia age 17, Darya 15, and Irina 14. Typical sisters who can argue one minute and laugh the next. My poor husband, how he puts up with a house full of women, I don’t know. To some our home seems full to the brim, overflowing at times but in actuality something is desperately missing, or someone: Vera. Robert and I had decided to adopt, years after some unsuccessful in-vitro fertilization treatments. Our longing to be parents had never subsided so we told family and friends to get the word out. In 1995, we heard about a group of women from Cold Spring Harbor and Huntington who had posted a church bulletin looking for host parents. 95 orphans traveling from Russia, Ukraine and Columbia were coming to the United States. Eight of those children were coming to Long Island. We agreed to host two sisters from the Ukraine for the three weeks in August. Camp, the children were told so the transition would be gradual. We were excited about the arrival of the two sisters but there had been a mistake. There were not two sisters but three. Robert laughed, “What’s one more?” We had always wanted a home full of children, we just happened to get them in a bigger bundle. The three weeks ended and we were in love. The connection had been spiritual. Each of their birthdates

Helping teens enjoy

prom season

by Hillary Call Going to prom is a wonderful rite of passage. However, there’s a lot of pressure for everything to be “perfect.” What starts out as an extended date can sometimes lead to emotional conflict and more pressure. Here are tips to help your teen navigate the season: Listen with your eyes as well as your ears. Young people 44

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had been significant dates for Robert and I during our relationship. It seemed surreal. We had found our daughters! We immediately started the laborious paperwork to finalize the adoption. Our daughters were in the Ukraine and needed to come home. The adoption was complete and our lives together began. The girls did not speak English so we had a translator, Olga help out. One night, as we said grace at the dinner table, Katia asked us to pray that they could find Vera. ”Vera?”, Robert and I asked. “Mommy went to the hospital to have Vera, but she went to heaven and Vera never came home”, Katia explained. There is a special bond between sisters even if they are thousands of miles apart. I have three daughters that fill my house to the brim, overflowing at times but there is someone desperately missing. Her name is Vera……. findingvera.com. The search continues, read on next month.

often communicate feelings through behavior. Try to decode the meaning behind avoidant eyes or crossed arms. Is your teen angry, or anxious? Seize the moment. Often a teen that’s aloof will suddenly want to talk. Regardless of timing – maybe you’re about to watch your favorite movie – stop and focus on the conversation. Good parents will sacrifice sleep when their teen wants to unload their concerns. Your children will learn you’re a resource they can lean on. Be “quietly available.” Teens need constant reassurance from parents but are in a stage of rebellion, too. Let them know you’re available by being present, while allowing them make their own choices. Sometimes things go too far at prom. Talk to your teen and tell them it’s OK to say “no,” even if they started out saying “yes.” A person has a right to change their mind. Being supportive and accepting of your teen will go a long way in building a strong relationship. Call 516679-1111 or visit LongIslandCrisisCenter.org for more information.

KICKIN’ IT WITH STYLISH SAFETY ! ®

DRIER, CLEANER, HEALTHIER

FIGHT BACK OR NOT? by Lidia Szczepanowski According to the National Criminal Justice Reference Service, and a report prepared by the Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault, active resistance can decrease the chances of a completed rape by about 80 percent. The bottom line is this: If someone is just looking to take your valuables and they have a weapon, give them up. On the other hand, if an attacker is looking to sexually assault or rape you, statistics support the conclusion that you should “fight back.” Remember that fighting back includes any type of active resistance and it could be as simple as making noise and bringing attention to yourself. This can “disrupt” the attacker’s “plan” and he may get discouraged or lose focus. If you respond with a physical counterattack, make sure to commit to your decision because there is no turning back. And remember, your goal is to escape, not to win. It is important to remember that every individual attacker and situation will be different, and there is no one set of correct responses. While it is true that fighting back may cause an attacker to become even more agitated, it is important that before reacting, you listen to your gut, and let your experience and common sense kick in. BE PREPARED! The key to women’s safety is very simple: Education. Women must arm themselves with the tools necessary to respond to a number of different situations. What may work in one situation against one perpetrator may not work in another. Safety awareness is about using your common sense, being well informed, thinking in advance, planning ahead and physically practicing and rehearsing how you will react and what you will do if someone grabs or attacks you. The development or progress of an incident can be stopped by remembering the “DIVAS’ 5 Steps to Safety”, principles taught at “Stylish Safety® Women’s Personal Protection and Safety Awareness Seminars”. • Distraction. Pay attention and be aware of your surroundings and stay focused. • Intuition. Always trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. • Vulnerability. Don‘t put yourself in a vulnerable situation. • Assessment. Carefully analyze and assess the situation at hand and be ready to react. • Skills. Know your weapons, natural and improvised, and how and when to use them. (i.e., Your mind, fingers, fingernails, fists, hands, elbows, knees, feet, teeth, head, voice; also your keys, shoes, handbag, briefcase, hairbrush, cell phone, perfume, tweezers, water bottle, magazine, etc.) A “stiletto stomp” with the high heels of your Manolo Blahniks can be an extremely effective weapon to fight off an attacker and you can do an amazing “hand bag hurl” with your Louis Vuitton or use it as “awesome armor”. Always react with purpose and force. You may have a small window of opportunity to act and even a smaller amount of time to escape. • Lidia Szczepanowski is an Attorney, Black Belt, Personal Safety Expert, Former Mrs. New York, Journalist, Everything Lidia, Inc. Owner and Talk Radio Show Producer-Host, and Founder of the National Organization for Women’s Safety Awareness, Inc. EverythingLidia.com, AskLidiatheLawyer.com

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HOME AND GARDEN

negotiating a real estate purchase by Lisa Albinowski Real Estate is one of the few industries that negotiation is the rule rather than the exception. In order to be good at it you must understand the process. Don’t make an offer until you understand the market and get a comparable market analysis. Working with a Real Estate Agent is the best way to achieve success, since they have a true understanding about what is realistic and what is not. Once you have found a home that you are prepared to buy, the first step is to determine the fair Market Value for the home. Your Agent can be of great help, since they have access to the information that you need. A Market Analysis will show exactly what properties similar to the one in which you have an interest have sold for. Once you have the information, it is important to do a realistic comparison of these houses. Size, number of rooms, lot size and condition play a big part in realistic comparisons. Does the house you have chosen have more or less amenities than the comparable homes? Emotions also play a big factor in a home purchase. You must prepare yourself in order to use it effectively. You should be excited-but you must keep your excitement in check or you will lose the value of all the information.

Fha

mortgage property guidelines

When buying a home, borrowers want the mortgage process to go as smoothly and quickly as possible. Delays in getting your real estate deal to the closing table can be frustrating and even costly. Understanding the mortgage guidelines will get everyone to the closing table sooner. When buying a home, FHA mortgages are popular because they generally require a lower down payment, lower credit scores and accept higher debt-to-income ratios than a conventional loan program. However, FHA mortgages do have acceptability standards and property eligibility guidelines. This means that FHA mortgages have necessary property requirements. For example, the home must have: • Fully functional and an adequate number of smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. • No chipping or peeling paint in the interior or exterior of the home. • All home mechanical systems must be adequate and fully functional including electrical wiring, heating and plumbing systems. • Windows and doors must be in good repair and 46

In addition to your emotional frame of mind, your financial frame of mind should also be in order. An offer to purchase must be submitted with a pre-approval from a mortgage professional, unless the purchase is going to be all cash. Don’t make a ridiculous offer on a well-priced home. Nothing will turn a seller off more than a low ball offer on a house that has been priced right. If the house is appealing and is priced correctly, there will be other buyers interested as well so don’t hesitate with your offer or you will be at risk to lose the opportunity. • Lisa Albinowski - Licensed Real Estate Broker, SRES, CBR Realty Connect Lisa@LisaBroker.com 631-793-7329

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by Rosemarie Kluepfel

working condition. • Electronic garage door openers must reverse or stop when met with resistance. • Other health or safety deficiencies like blocked doors should also be addressed as the appraiser must note his findings in the appraisal report. Before you go house hunting, you should get prequalified by a mortgage specialist to determine what loan program is best suited to your financial situation, needs and goals. Ask if there are specific limitations or property guidelines associated with this program. Familiarize yourself with the property guidelines and be aware of health and safety issues when viewing a home listing. Discuss theses potential items with your realtor. Suggest remedying them prior to the appraisal. If the appraiser needs to come back to verify repairs were made, a final inspection fee will be needed at an additional cost to you, the borrower. Avoid delays and save money by discussing excess safety and health livability issues with your realtors and mortgage specialist at the start and everyone will benefit by getting to the closing table sooner.

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WOMAN MAKING A DIFFERENCE

SAVING ANIMALS

WITH A LOVING HEART MARyANN cHERNOVSky by Hillary Call

Maryann Chernovsky has given a home to thousands of abandoned dogs and cats that would otherwise, no longer be with us. She is the volunteer President of Little Shelter Animal Rescue & Adoption Center, one of Long Island’s oldest no-kill shelters and Suffolk County’s oldest humane organization. “Little Shelter has survived for 85 years,” she said. “It says a lot about the people who support us and the people who work and volunteer here – we have such dedicated people.” Through rescue from kill facilities, animals in danger of being euthanized because of lack of space, or that need rehabilitation, Little Shelter hopes to end pet overpopulation and place all dogs and cats in loving homes. Maryann and her husband first came to Little Shelter more than 22 years ago, where they encountered a facility with lots of promise. They pitched in wherever they could: Maryann’s husband would photograph and circulate pictures of the dogs-in-residence to local newspapers to encourage adoptions. In 1989 she was offered the position of President – a volunteer job. She was willing to take on the challenge. “Little Shelter is a lot different than what it once was,” she said. Immediately after she took office Maryann established Little Shelter as a no-kill facility, a big departure from the past. “I insisted this become a no-kill shelter,” she said. “It was a requirement for taking on the job.” Her next task was to secure 501 (c) 3 status. While Little Shelter had been in the process of declaring themselves as a non-profit, that process had stalled. Maryann quickly drove to Riverhead to wrap-up the paperwork. “It would now be finalized. We had to learn as we went along,” she laughed. “Little Shelter didn’t even have insurance at the time. There was so much to be done.”

Today, Little Shelter is a sprawling facility on six wooded acres in Huntington. They currently house 400 cats and kittens, and 50 dogs and puppies. Included on the grounds is the Sheltervale Pet Cemetery, which has been the final resting place for companion animals for more than 85 years. Under Maryann’s guidance, Little Shelter is now a member of the Mayor’s Alliance for NYC’s Animals, and is regularly called upon by the city’s municipal shelters to take their dogs and cats in need of saving because of space or rehabilitation. One of Little Shelter’s most innovative initiatives is the Animal Soup Kitchen (ASK), which provides free food and medical care for pets whose owners are sick, disabled, impoverished or elderly. They also help children with in-school programs that encourage confidence and teach responsibility. Some children, afraid to speak to their teacher or peers, will eagerly read aloud to a dog – a captive audience happily cheering them on with a wagging tail. Maryann’s own rescued dog, Jinxy, is involved in the program. “He needed to come out of his shell, too,” said Maryann. Maryann also realized being a true no-kill shelter requires a “Plan-B.” She established Little Shelter’s sanctuary, a 110-acre safe haven in upstate New York. This is yet another successful advancement that sets Little Shelter apart from other rescue organizations. Dogs who have been overlooked for too long move on to frolic in the fields of green grass, hills, streams and a two and a half acre pond, where they often enjoy a swim. They just broke ground for a new building at the Sanctuary, which will free up 10 kennels at Little Shelter. “That’s more animals we can save,” said Maryann. “We’re trying to help as many as we can.” To volunteer or donate, contact Little Shelter at 631-368-8770 or visit littleshelter.com.

WHAT’S FOR DINNER?

PET CARE

A LABOR OF LOVE by Bettie Hamilton Feeding time with our pets should be a pleasurable experience. Picture the portrayal of life on the farm with a bell summoning everyone to the table. Happy faces with hearty appetites soon gather around for a meal. Hungry cats and dogs are underfoot awaiting flavorful table scraps. Modern life paints a different scenario given busy schedules and lofty commutes, but for most pets the call to dinner displays a fresh jubilation each day. Dogs and cats who scramble to their dishes anxiously await their dining experience. Feeding schedules and menus can vary. In my home, I feed a twelve-year old Beagle and young Brittany two meals a day. Before the Brittany arrived, our Beagle was satisfied with only one meal in the late afternoon. Once the puppy was in the house, it was hard to feed the pup two meals a day while the Beagle looked on. As a compromise a two meal a day schedule was put into place. I serve Halo’s Spot’s Stew daily and alternate some mornings with portions of wet and others with dry. On Sundays we change the routine, offering a tasty soft boiled egg – a special treat. The late afternoon meal is always kibble which is happily accepted. Many pet owners get creative with feeding

schedules. Some mix wet and dry food. Others top kibble with pieces of chicken or steak, or a dollop of sweet potato, yogurt or gravy. If you are one to experiment, keep in mind the following - Remember portion control if mixing wet and dry food. Both contribute calories and it is easier to know how much you are feeding when using one or the other. If you choose to mix, cut back on either the wet or dry and estimate how many calories your pet requires daily. Cats in particular, will benefit from a balance of wet and dry food. You may need to experiment a little or consult with your vet to find the perfect mix. If you switch brands of food, ease into the newer product beginning with more of the original food, and over a period of approximately one week gradually add more of the new diet to transition. Switching brands without a gradual introduction could result in digestive upset. And always remember to provide access to clean, fresh water. Bon Appetit! • Bettie Hamilton - Halo Purely for Pets, halopets.com

SUFFOLK COUNTY DOG FRIENDLY PARKS

by Jodi Record If you’ve ever spent any time around dogs, you’ve no doubt noticed the unsightly brown stains that many tend to get in the corners of their eyes. These stains are commonly referred to as ‘tear stains’ and occur when the bacteria

living on a dog’s skin reacts with the tears produced from their eyes. Don’t worry, your dog isn’t crying, but he does have a condition that is making his eyes tear excessively. Blocked tear ducts can cause excessive tearing, hair growth in the corner of the eye and fleas and allergies, all of which can be treated or prevented. What can you do about that ugly staining once it has already appeared? It’s easy. Most pet supply stores carry ‘tear stain’ removers. Simply follow the directions on the packaging and you will have Fluffy looking beautiful again in no time. Spring is here, and if you’re like most people you got cabin crazy during the chilly winter months. It’s a sure bet that your pooch has been feeling a little cooped up too, so why not enjoy all that the great outdoors has to offer. Long Island has some wonderful places to explore with your four-legged companion. Dog parks seem to be popping up all over the place. There are also some great hiking trails too. Suffolk County is home to Blydenburgh Park in Smithtown, Prosser Pines County Park in Middle Island, The Pine Barrens, Belmont Lake State Park and more. In Nassau County you’ll find treasures such as Sagamore Hill and Bailey Arboretum. With such a plethora of beauty waiting to be discovered by both two legs and four, you’ll have no shortage of places to visit. While you and Fido are getting back to nature, you’ll both get a cardio workout and burn off some calories. So run Fido run! • Jodi Record - Volunteer, Jessie’s Hope For Dogs may 2012

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HOME AND GARDEN

HIGHT TECH

DECKS

by Robert Schene The common wood deck is rapidly being replaced by new products such as plastic and composite. The typical cedar deck that has to be sealed and powerwashed has become a labor intensive and costly Spring job. Decks now are more like an extension of the home. It’s now commonplace to see multi-level decks with elaborate lighting and railing systems. Although man-made decking costs about 30% more, not having to seal it every year will save money in the long term. In a 2011 survey, homeowners that built a deck could see up to 73% of the investment back when they sell their home. Here is a quick run-down on materials: Wood: Most homeowners still choose wood when they build a deck, for its cost as well as its authentic feel and look. It’s also durable. Pressure-treated pine is the least expensive material, cedar and redwood are popular but more expensive options. At the top-end are hardwoods like ipe, which is grown in South America and is at the top-end in terms of look, durability and cost. There are downsides to wood. It tends to change color, crack and absorb stains. It also requires more maintenance, including cleaning and staining every year or two. Composite: Composite decking is made of plastic and wood fiber. Trex® was one of the first brands on the market 15 years ago; TimberTech® and Fiberon® are other brand names. Composite looks a lot like real wood, but it’s less likely to rot or get infested with insects than real wood, and it’s less slippery. It’s also easier to maintain; it doesn’t need staining and it can be washed off occasionally with a deck cleaner.

Because it contains up to 50 percent wood, composite is still more susceptible to stains and mildew than plastic decking. It will also lose 10 to 15 percent of its color over time. Trex®’s Transcend brand has a limited 25-year fade and stain-resistance warranty. Plastic: Plastic, or PVC decking, is newer to the market and is basically composite without the wood fiber. Azek® is one of the major manufacturers. Plastic decking is less likely to stain and fade than composite, and it stays cooler in direct sunlight. It’s also more expensive, since it’s petroleumbased. Aluminum: Aluminum has long been used in deck railings, but is sometimes used for the decks themselves. Aluminum decking is light but tough, slip resistant and lasts a long time. LockDry® is one of the major brands on the market. LockDry® is built to be waterproof, so it’s a good choice for a deck built over a living space. Another manufacturer, Versadeck™, promises that its decking won’t have the “ping” sound that comes from walking across aluminum. The possibilities are only limited by the imagination and of course the pocket book so whether it’s cedar, composite or Brazilian cherry there is a deck that’s right for every ones budget. • Robert Schene - Grace Home Improvements, 516-458-4756, gracehomeimprovements.net

HanD-maDE CarDS arE all H by Diana Gaizo This time of year there are many events like Mother’s Day, Communions, weddings, and graduations that call for a card or gift to be given. Why not get creative? Hand-made cards are all the rage and are very easy to make. For the base, use a good 80 lb. or better cardstock. Layer some scrapbook papers on the cover, add some flowers, ribbon and “bling” and you’ve got a gorgeous card. On the inside, you can stamp or just handwrite the sentiment. You can find envelopes for just about any size card at your local office supply or on-line. 50

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THE raGE

Mini scrapbooks are another great gift to make. They can even be made from scratch using chipboard. Just cut multiple sheets of chipboard to the size book you want to create, and cover them with scrapbook paper. You can inksand the edges of the pages for a more finished look. You will need a good adhesive like a tape runner, red line tape or scor-tape to adhere the paper to the chipboard. When you are done, punch 3 holes in each page and put either looseleaf rings or ribbon through the holes to hold the book together. A 6x6 book is fast to make and decorate. Each page will hold a full 4x6 picture with room for decorations. If the person receiving the book is not creative, then have photos already in the book. Otherwise, let them have fun putting their photos in the book. • Diana Gaizo - Not Just Scrap, notjustscrap.com

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may 2012

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AUTOMOTIVE

LET’S TALK

TIRES!

by Kevin Albinowski What do you really know about tires? What to look for, when to repair, how to repair, when to replace them, different signs of wear. Remember, tires are the only thing that stops and steers your passenger vehicle of 2000 to 6000 lbs. First, understand tire repairs. This can be a very serious repair. When a tire gets a nail in it, the tire must be removed from the rim, professionally inspected for injury outside and inside. Tires have an inner liner that seals the air in. If this is not properly repaired you could put your life in jeopardy. Never allow someone to just stick a plug in your tire. You are putting yourself and others at risk by driving on a damaged tire. Remember, you cannot see the damage on the inside. When is it time to replace your tires? Most people know about the head of the penny but, there are more reasons to change those tires. Check your tires for cracking, tires older than 3-4 years can crack under the right conditions. If the outer edges are worn down but the center looks ok, replace them and have the steering checked and aligned. There is also tire cupping. Cupping would look like flat spots on the tires, so time for new ones. This can be caused by anything from worn steering, suspension, shocks, struts or tires that have been out of balance for too long. When buying tires,

look for the higher treadwear number of 500 to 700. This will give longer wear. Next on the list is traction-get tires with an A or AA rating. This will give you the best handling on wet, straight stopping. The last is temperature wear, with this grade, look for B, or A is even better. This tells how well a tire will dissipate heat. The higher the heat buildup, the faster the tire will wear. Did you know the right rear tire gets the most flats? Think about it, most roads are crowned so debris always moves to the right side. The front tire hits the debris and it starts to bounce, at the right angle it will be forced into the rear tire. Yup, a flat on the way. So keep your eyes on the road! • Kevin Albinowski - President: Keystone Tire & Auto Repair Inc, Kevin@keystonetireauto.com, KeystoneTireAuto.com, CaresforCars.org 631.957.8473

WHY I DIDN’T PURCHASE A LOTTERY TICKET by Christine Seagal The car radio blared that the lottery was now up to 650 million, and people were scrambling to purchase tickets. I must admit that even me, someone who has NEVER purchased a lottery ticket, turned up the volume. Should I find the nearest card store and purchase a ticket? The thought was intriguing as my eyes scanned passing stores. If I had $650 million, there were so many things I could do with the money, like producing my own television show or paying off the mortgage of loved ones. What a glorious life it would be….or would it? We have all heard the phrases 52

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“money doesn’t buy happiness” and “money cannot buy love.” These statements we know are true because money, after all, is just paper. Money cannot buy an emotion. What we think and how we feel are consequences of our journey and the choices we have made. Time moves forward each and every day. We can either take a step forward in the direction of our goal(s) or we can stay still. Winning the lottery may get us to our destination, but it cannot give us pride, accomplishment and satisfaction for a job well done. If we want to feel happy we have to earn it, not purchase it. How do you earn the right to be happy? First, by being grateful that each day you wake up you have 86,400 seconds at your disposal.

Second, that you use your time wisely and take the necessary steps to reach your goals. Lastly, that you face any adversity head-on and move forward with determination and perseverance. Character is built by appreciating and valuing yourself. Winning the lottery would drastically change my journey, hence affecting my life’s lessons, which can only be learned through hard work, sweat and tears. I smiled as these thoughts encompassed my brain, turned the radio to another channel and kept driving. • Christine Segal Inner Beauty Workshops innerbeautyworkshops.com

BUSINESS & FINANCE

CAN FEMALES SHATTER THE GLASS CEILING? by Mary Simmons The simple answer is “not yet”. Although women are breaking into the “C” suite in a powerful way, we are still the “minority” in top positions in most US and international firms. According to research from Grant Thornton International, women hold 24 percent of senior management positions globally and 20 percent in the U.S. There are many examples of women breaking the barrier. Mary Barra made history last year when she became the first woman to lead the development of new cars and trucks at General Motors Co., the world’s largest automaker, and Virginia Rometty became the CEO of IBM, the first woman to head the technology giant in its 101-year history. Many believe the “glass ceiling” metaphor may be a little too strong at this point but most agree that there are obstacles that exist for women specifically that do not exist for men. In this litigious society companies need to be very diligent in training their management staff in anti-discriminatory behaviors. Examining whether gender bias exists and how to correct it can be a very important process for a company. By training management to ignore bias, a company may find that more women are promoted into prominent positions. Having a diverse “C” level management team will help the company grow and expand into areas not previously tapped into. Even if you argue that the opportunities for women are increasing, the salaries still lag those of our male counter parts. Though women make up nearly half the work force, they account for only 7.5 percent of the top-earning

executive officer positions at Fortune 500 companies in 2011, according to Catalyst, a New York-based research organization that seeks to expand business opportunities for women. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, women in 2010 earned 81 percent of the median weekly earnings of their male equals. Some additional disturbing statistics are that women held only 16 percent of board seats at these large companies and more than a quarter of the Fortune 500 companies had no female executive officers. The recession hasn’t helped professional women, either. In a 2008 study, Catalyst found that women in senior management positions were three times more likely to lose their jobs than men in similar positions. Women need to be more aggressive about seeking advancement and asking to be heard by the decision makers. We are all responsible for our own careers and negotiating for better pay, benefits and visibility is part of that equation. If we want to be equal we need to act like an equal. Women are so used to being second fiddle we tend to shy away from bragging about our performance and asking for more. This may be the time for us to use our voices and get what we want and deserve! • Mary Simmons - Director of HR Consulting, Portnoy, Messinger, Pearl & Associates

ARE YOUR JOB DESCRIPTIONS DOING THEIR JOB? by Lisa Renee Pomerantz With the economy improving, many businesses are looking to hire new employees. Some do so without the benefit of any job description. Others may rely on an outdated job description without ensuring that there is a consensus within the organization regarding the position’s duties and responsibilities and that the description reflects that consensus. Hiring the wrong candidate can be a costly mistake. However, using accurate and comprehensive job descriptions can help companies and candidates for employment make the best decisions. To ensure that your job description does its job, make sure that: 1. it has been reviewed and approved by the people to whom the position reports; 2. it has been provided to everyone involved in the interview and hiring process; 3. it is provided to the candidate; and 4. it includes a “catch-all” phrase permitting the assignment of different or other duties. The inclusion of such a “catch-all” phrase will alert the candidate to the fact that the job description defines the minimum rather than maximum contours of the position and will preclude later arguments that a particular request or assignment was not within the description. • Lisa Renee Pomerantz - Attorney At Law, 631-244-1482, lisapom.com 54

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AFTeR The honeYMoon by Michele Martin The month of May is synonymous with weddings. Now that you have made a commitment to one another, there are several things you need to do once you return from the honeymoon. Name Change: If you decide to take your spouse’s name you will need to contact the Social Security Administration and the Dept of Motor Vehicle for a change of name and / or address. Your vehicle’s title, registration and your license must be updated. Insurance: Contact your Agent or Broker to update your name and address on your auto, home or renters insurance. If you combine your vehicles onto one policy there are usually discounts for a multi vehicle policy. Add your spouse as a driver to your policy and an occupant or insured to your home or renters insurance. If you don’t have

a renters policy you should secure coverage to protect your self and your personal belongings. Life and Health Insurance: If you have life insurance through a private company or employer, you should review your coverage and beneficiary. Make sure to change your beneficiary to your spouse. If no life insurance is in force take a policy to protect your new mate.Your health provider needs to be contacted and your spouse added to your policy to provide coverage. Financial: Now is a good time to set your financial goals for the future. Start at a young age and make a habit of ‘paying yourself’ first. Sit with a financial professional to help you make your dreams come true. • Michele Martin - Michele M. Martin Insurance Agency, Inc., 631-261-4200

Long Island Residents Beware: Behind Your Back . . .

“ARe TheY ABouT To IncReAse YouR PRIces?” Huntington, NY: “I still have trouble believing how much I was overpaying. And to think, this time last year I was so convinced I had such a great deal.” “I should have been paying closer attention to the price increases.” I was just about to sit down to dinner, when I was interrupted by a phone call from a determined salesman. He started off the conversation by asking me an interesting question. “Do you know why most people overpay for their life insurance?” “The bottom line is most busy people buy a policy, throw it in a drawer and forget about it.” “But since you’ve been too busy to review your coverage you’ve probably never noticed the scheduled price increases as you get older.” In fact, when I stopped to think about it, I was curious to know if I had fallen into the same trap by not reviewing my own coverage. To tell you the truth, I had no idea what I was paying. Let alone, how much my rates were increasing as I got older. But instead of being stubborn, I dug out my policy and was shocked

to find my prices had started to skyrocket. O.K.! It was obvious I needed to deal with this problem. But here’s the catch. If I make a change and buy a new policy, I’ll end up being in the same boat again a year or two from now. But, what else is there to do? “At last, an easy way without the hassle!” I read an article in a financial magazine about some guy who cut his term life insurance cost in half. Yeah, right! Give me a break. But being curious, I called the 800# to receive a copy of the free report mentioned in the article. As much as I hate answering machines, I was happy to listen to a recorded message instead of having to speak with a salesman. When the report came. . . “I finally understood what I, (and everyone else) was doing wrong!” The report explained that the most costly mistake people make when buying life insurance is they fail to get level rates. In fact, I found out that there are many quality insurance companies that specialize in offering level price

policies. Some even have rates that remain the same for 10, 15 or 20 years. However, finding these type policies is not always easy. There are over 1,893 companies who sell life insurance. So even if you spend hours of your valuable time researching, you would probably drive yourself crazy trying to make sense of it all. Fortunately, this report identifies an insurance company that does offer great prices, level rates and excellent quality. All you have to do is leave your date of birth and coverage amount on the answering machine. “Two thumbs up!” “If you want to avoid overpaying for your life insurance, I advise you to call the number below. Get a copy of this eye-opening report for yourself.” “To get your free report call toll free, 1-800-274-4453 24 hours a day, for a free recorded message. There is no charge for this service. And most importantly there is no one on the telephone to hassle you.” “I must say it’s refreshing to see that someone is finally giving the average consumer the scoop about life insurance prices.” The preceding story is a dramatization of every day frustrations experienced by many consumers.

may 2012

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STRONG ISLAND WOMAN

long island’s

“HoTlinE”

for pEoplE in nEEd

liCC’s linda lEonard by Hillary Call

Linda Leonard, Executive Director for Long Island Crisis Center (LICC), was drawn to the agency more than 35 years ago to volunteer on “the hotlines,” suicide prevention crisis intervention phone lines that, in 2011, took more than 10,000 calls from people in crisis. If you’ve ever been in emotional crisis, you know how crushing that feeling can be. “In our society, people do not know how to really listen to other’s pain,” said Linda. “At Long Island Crisis Center we put validating people’s feelings at the highest value. EVERYONE has the inalienable right to free, non-judgmental, anonymous help at any time.” Long Island Crisis Center is a not-for-profit, 501(c) (3) private agency. It was established in 1971 and has existed since then as a 24 hour-a-day/ 7 day-a-week suicide prevention and crisis intervention center. All services are free, confidential and anonymous. In its forty-one years, it has grown from one hotline to seven. When Linda became Executive Director in 1980 (decades before the Internet would re-shape communications) telephone hotlines were the sole resource for anonymous, free help. “At the time we were getting calls about a new devastating epidemic that people were calling ‘GRID’ (gay related infectious disease), years before it was renamed HIV/AIDS,” she said. “There were literally NO services for gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender young people on Long Island. As a matter of fact, we came under scrutiny for providing outreach to this population. However, we knew that of the many calls we were receiving from youth in crisis, a disproportionate number were from gay and lesbian young people. So I went on a mission to provide services to and change community attitudes about LGBT youth.” Linda has a reputation as one who doesn’t always like to play by the rules when it comes to filling these kinds of unmet, critical needs. “In the early eighties we housed runaway youth here at the crisis center, even though it was totally against regulations,” she said with pride. “There were no shelters for runaway/homeless youth at that time and we were not about to leave the kids in danger on the street. So we called it ‘24-hours intake’ and took them in.” The philosophy at LICC is geared toward meeting clients where they are, providing counseling in whatever way is most comfortable for the client. In fact, LICC was the first crisis center in the country to provide free, anonymous crisis counseling through online, live chat. The Crisis Center recently started a new initiative to provide suicide prevention and crisis intervention via texting. They are the first crisis center in New York State to do so. Demand has been astonishing. 56

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Volunteers: tHe lifeblood of liCC LICC has only 16 paid staff. The rest are nearly 200 volunteers, many of whom have gone through 250 hours of training to become hotline counselors. They serve as points of contact for people in crisis throughout Nassau (and backup for Suffolk) and can provide referrals to therapists or support groups, or just lend an uncritical ear. LICC doesn’t turn any caller away without trying to offer assistance. That’s the nature of the place. Some disclosure: I’ve been a volunteer at the agency for about a year. I ask almost everyone I meet there why they’re giving up their time. Why not sit at home, watch TV, or go catch a movie? Sometimes there’s a flicker of pain behind their eyes, and they tell me volunteering is their chance to give back. Oftentimes, it’s this staunch commitment to help others. Regardless, everyone has the same attitude about their work at LICC: “How could I not do this?” Programs to meet long island’s needs Linda has spearheaded a number of initiatives to meet the needs of Long Islanders in crisis. In 1993 Pride for Youth (PFY) was established to serve Long Island’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth and their families. Its cornerstone project is The Coffeehouse, a weekly (Friday evenings) drop-in center for LGBT youth and their straight allies. It is a safe, friendly, drug and alcohol-free space where structured activities and one-on-one counseling are available. The Street Outreach Project (SOP) provides services to homeless and runaway youth through a 24 hour-a-day/7 day-a-week mobile van that offers pick-up and placement in a safe shelter. An extensive community outreach and education program brings workshops about cyberbullying, suicide prevention and a host of other topics on-site to school districts. LICC needs your help to continue providing these crucial services. Volunteers are always welcome: become a counselor (no experience necessary), answer the business phones or donate your professional services. Offer space in your restaurant for a fundraising event; donate goods for a raffle. Your kindness will go farther than you could ever imagine. You can be a partner in their lifesaving efforts. Hotline: 516-679-1111, Business Office: 516-826-0244 longislandcrisiscenter.org.

CREATIVE WEAR, LTD. Maria Reitano has always been a very creative person. Her love of design is apparent from the excitement in her voice when discussing new ideas with her clients. She learned how to sew on her father’s power sewing machine when she was 12 and hasn’t stopped since. Maria has always enjoyed sewing and designing, using a variety of crafts to help her achieve the desired finished product. Creative Wear LTD was formed to utilize these talents. Creative Wear LTD is an embroidery and embellishment company. The product embellished for infants include: bibs, “onesies”, blankets, dresses, hooded

LOCAL MERCHANT towels, etc. T-shirts and jerseys with rhinestone embellishments for toddlers up to and including adult sizes are a big seller, but the possibilities seem endless. She can custom design for you, or use a stock design. Her designs are ideal for dancing schools, gyms, businesses, camps, retailers, etc. “Like” her Facebook page: Creative Wear Ltd and see some of her creative products. Maria is constantly making new items to add to her stock. Inspiration, Imagination and Ingenuity are what Creative Wear LTD offers their clients. Creative Wear LTD, Maria Reitano 631-379-2936 mrdesign@optonline.net.

THE SMITHTOWN ADVISORY BOARD TURNS 35! by Sara Fingerman 35 years ago, a woman with a typewriter and an answering machine had a vision. As an educator, Sue Gubing wanted to connect her school district with major companies on Long Island. Gubing pioneered a partnership between local businesses and the Smithtown School district, making it the oldest and largest industry advisory board on Long Island. The IAB ,which began with only five partnerships, is now composed of more than 250 representatives from the business, government, parent, alumni and education communities. In 2004, Mary Pat Grafstein replaced Sue Gubing, as executive director of the Smithtown IAB. Although Gubing is retired, she still maintains an active role as a distinguished member of the advisory board. On March 17th, 2012, Grafstein hosted the annual Smithtown Industry Advisory Board dinner at the beautiful Stonebridge Country club. As a journalist for Gem Magazine LI and an alumnus of the Smithtown Schools, I have great pride in the town I grew up in. Many of the teachers that were in attendance, were my high school business teachers; still committed to preparing their students to be our future business leaders. Also among attendance, employees of the

many companies that work effortlessly with students, teachers and the board of education. The student testimonials of the day were heart warming; it was amazing to see the future generation of business professionals speak with so much confidence. Among the honorees of the day were Edward Ehmann, Superintendent of Smithtown Schools, John Johnis, First National Bank and the woman that started it all, Sue Gubing, founder of Smithtown IAB. The IAB is a very intriguing and unique organization. The IAB members are largely responsible for the success of many programs such as Junior Achievement High School Heroes, Female Power Brunch, International Career Day, and Business Olympics, a program that I participated in high school and during the early stages of my career. For 35 years, the Smithtown IAB has grown and flourished, having provided valuable guidance and resources in preparing students to be successful leaders in the business community. 35 years from now, I have no doubt, Sue Gubing’s legacy will continue to make an impact. If you would like to learn more about the IAB please contact Mary Pat Grafstein. 631-382-2977 mgrafstein@smithtown.k12.ny.us. may 2012

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INSPIRATION & EMPOWERMENT INSPIRATION & EMPOWERMENT WhEN YOUr MOThEr IS NO LONgEr YOUr MOThEr

help where you want to say “enough already.” Like most of us, I imagined that I had time to work through my old childhood frustrations with my mom. I expected that I would have the mother I knew her old Now I have to figure Slender, out how When you and lookloved, at myinto mother sheage. looks perfectly normal. to be with my 76-year old mum. The rules have changed. neatly dressed, her hair is brushed. Yet look more closely, and the Conversation work. Asking questions compute. woman who woulddoesn’t never leave home without wearingdoesn’t makeup, doesn’t Words like dad or brother are way too abstract. So what is left is actually even know what mascara is. perfect. TheUS, little girlinineight me brings my adult along the ride, todisease. simply In the one older Americans has for Alzheimer’s be and have fun with my mum. We can sing and I see her laugh. We That doesn’t even include all the other types of dementia. I don’t mean can dance and she still moves as lightly as she ever did. I can hold and to alarm you. What I do know is that I am not alone dealing with a parent hug I can stroke All thedisease. things she did with me when I was who her. is suffering fromher thehair. invisible young. Now that’s beautiful karma. I am about to go and visit my mother who currently lives with my •father OnFire Alyse Parise LCSW, Psychotherapist in Sydney, Australia. I have been reflecting on my relationship with and Certified Business Coach, 631-689-6272 my mother. She had been the devoted 1960’s wife and mom, the loving alyseparise@poweroutcomes.com and generous homemaker whom always wanting to help, the sort of

BUILdINg YOUr SELf-CONfIdENCE

help where you want to say “enough already.” Like most of us, I imagined that I had time to work through my old childhood frustrations with my mom. I expected that I would have the mother I knew and loved, into her old age. Now I have to figure out how to be with my 76-year old mum. The rules have changed. Conversation doesn’t work. Asking questions doesn’t compute. Words like dad or brother are way too abstract. So what is left is actually perfect. The little girl in me brings my adult along for the ride, to simply be and have fun with my mum. We can sing and I see her laugh. We can dance and she still moves as lightly as she ever did. I can hold and hug her. I can stroke her hair. All the things she did with me when I was young. Now that’s beautiful karma. • OnFire Alyse Parise LCSW, Psychotherapist and Certified Business Coach, 631-689-6272 alyseparise@poweroutcomes.com

positive mental attitude. Let me ask you, do you remember a situation or situations when you were feeling self-confident? Write down those past experiences. Self-confidence contagious, it is impelling, is persuasive, recall why somethingisyou experienced made you feelitconfident. Think it attracts others. Nothing you success but to yourself. You about the circumstances andcan thebring surroundings that lead that feeling willconfidence, need the cooperation others if youthere. need to attain far-reaching of when was it of and who was success but youand willaffirm never your get that co-operation unless you vitalize your reinforce self-confidence by reading confidence mind with the positive of confidence. onecan willstimulate pay attention quotes. Leave written attitude affirmations on papersNo that your to anyone who lacks self-confidence in theself-confidence. office and at home. Write confidence quotes on Building Yourput Self-Esteem sticky notes and them at places where you can see them regularly. the aspects self-development is Use One shortofphrases like “Iofamself-improvement super confident inand whatever I do”. Positive determining the leveland of self-esteem a person. As itthan is a reading processthem that words are important, saying theminloudly is better involves making changes, it takes time and energy. One of the best silently. waysrecord to raise is to level ofhow energy and allyour your self-esteem successes you areimprove proud of,your no matter small, in dynamism. Building high self-esteem is dependent on when breaking your “BUILdINg SELf-CONfIdENCE” journal. read them you old are habits, recall developing new productive overcoming thinking down. the confident feelingsones, in you when you negative felt successful in habitpast andand learning howthat to acknowledge with yourUse inner the visualize you can repeatand yourdeal successes. thatfears. selfStart building yourfeeling self-esteem and you confidence first committing to confidence recall to motivate to moreby success. changes. You will also begin to see a difference to your •making Paula positive Klee Parish - Performance Solutions, performancesolutions.biz, level of self-esteem if you focus on maintaining a founder of Women Onand Theself-confidence Move Li, womenonthemoveli.com

positive mental attitude. Let me ask you, do you remember a situation or situations when you were feeling self-confident? Write down those past experiences. recall why something you experienced made you feel confident. Think about the circumstances and the surroundings that lead to that feeling of confidence, when was it and who was there. reinforce and affirm your self-confidence by reading confidence quotes. Leave written affirmations on papers that can stimulate your self-confidence in the office and at home. Write confidence quotes on sticky notes and put them at places where you can see them regularly. Use short phrases like “I am super confident in whatever I do”. Positive words are important, and saying them loudly is better than reading them silently. record all your successes you are proud of, no matter how small, in your “BUILdINg SELf-CONfIdENCE” journal. read them when you are down. recall the confident feelings in you when you felt successful in the past and visualize that you can repeat your successes. Use that selfconfidence recall feeling to motivate you to more success. • Paula Klee Parish - Performance Solutions, performancesolutions.biz, founder of Women On The Move Li, womenonthemoveli.com

ourselves by the cultural fad of the day. Yet beauty is not a fad. It is the light inside us that we project to others. When we feel good about ourselves, we glowWe andknow radiate that energy. We smile more and happily summer is around the corner when the offer those smiles to those meet. We say kind, empowering things to media startswe flooding us with questions like, “Will your ourselves and share those wordsmore though thoughtful actswould and deeds. It is bathing suit reveal of you than you like” and true that beauty is in the eyetime of the but true beauty pounds!” is not our reminders that, “Now is the to beholder, take off those unwanted appearance. It ismake the reflection others seethey of the Ifoutward that weren’t enough to us feel unattractive, tellbeauty us thatthat we shines understanding that wetoare perfect every need to from use aour barrage of new products make our in face, hairway andexactly every as wepart are.ofWhen we embrace that truth, wemessage will no longer by other our body better. The underlying is thatbe weupset are not a few extra pounds gray hair and wrinkles concern us, because beautiful until we fit nor theirwill image. we will know aretobeautiful at any Ladies, it’swetime strip away thatage. myth and celebrate the beauty

ourselves by the cultural fad of the day. Yet beauty is not a fad. It is the light inside us that we project to others. When we feel good about ourselves, we glow and radiate that energy. We smile more and happily offer those smiles to those we meet. We say kind, empowering things to ourselves and share those words though thoughtful acts and deeds. It is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but true beauty is not our outward appearance. It is the reflection others see of the beauty that shines from our understanding that we are perfect in every way exactly as we are. When we embrace that truth, we will no longer be upset by a few extra pounds nor will gray hair and wrinkles concern us, because we will know we are beautiful at any age.

• Jean Summit-Riker - 631-289-1371, tranquilitybasedlifecoaching.com that resides within each of us. We have been carefully taught to define

• Jean Summit-Riker - 631-289-1371, tranquilitybasedlifecoaching.com

BEAUTIfUL AT ANY AgE

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TRAVEL

FIND YOUR ROMANTIC HONEYMOON HIDEAWAY!

FI HO

by Grace Ferrara So you’ve got your groom, your beautiful gown, your reception hall…what are you missing? Your honeymoon, of course! After the DJ has packed up and the last guests have left for home, the best part of your wedding is still to come! Finally, the two of you will have some time alone to enjoy each other and the start of your new life together. But, where to go? What to do? Are you a fun-loving, adventure-seeking couple? Or are you sun-worshipers whose idea of exercise is simply putting on some suntan lotion? Maybe you’re somewhere in between? When it comes to picking your honeymoon destination, you literally have an entire world of options. For solace seekers, you can spend days swimming in turquoise waters, getting in-room spa treatments, and napping in hammocks under shady palms. Look forward to serious alone time and return home refreshed and renewed. Ideas: St. Barth, St. Martin, Bora Bora, Curacao, Kauai. If you want to do more than just hang out during your honeymoon, head to Mexico, Jamaica, and the Dominican Republic. Rappel down a cool cave, take a zip-line ride through the hilltops. Non-stop adventures make for a honeymoon experience you surely will never forget. Ideas: Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Ixtapa, Montego Bay, Oahu, Ochos Rios. Nothing says “romance” more than charming European cities like Venice, Madrid, and of course, Paris! What could be more romantic than snuggling with your sweetie at the Eifel Tower? Whichever way you choose to go, the first thing you should do is to get in touch with an Independent Travel Consultant. They will help you with everything from researching and choosing a destination to booking tickets, reservations and accommodations. Bon Voyage! • Grace Ferrara –Gracie Girl Travels, full service travel consultant. 631-804-4593, GracieGirl315@aol.com.

by G S rece cour left f Fina each B adve idea May pick entir F in tu napp serio I I hone Repu throu hone I Bay, N citie be m Eife W shou Con resea reser • Gr cons may 2012

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WOMEN IN THE ARTS MARLA LEWIS:

GRAMMY WINNING SONGWRITER FOR KIDS, PARENTS, AND TEACHERS by Frances McGarry I never expected to win a Grammy,” says Wantagh award-winning singer/songwriter, Marla Lewis. “I just love to write songs that teach, entertain, and sometimes raise a smile. I’m really proud of my work.” After 25 years of writing songs for adults and children, Marla’s tune, Leap of Faith, became part of a compilation CD called All About Bullies… Big and Small. The CD won a Grammy for Best Children’s Recording. Leap of Faith is about a timid little girl named Faith who finds her courage. On the playground, she sees a bully push a small kid down. Before she can even think about being afraid she stands up and says, “Cut that out! Leave that kid alone right now!” Everybody in the playground stops, stares the bully down, and cheers Faith. The bully turns and walks away. Everyone is jubilant, and Faith discovers how much inner power she has. During the course of her career, Marla taught ESL (English-as-aSecond Language) in New York City schools. She utilized her musical talent to teach lessons across the curricula from grammar, to math, to social studies, science, and literacy skills. For example, to teach irregular plurals Marla created a chant “One Foot, Two Feet” and added movement to act out each body part. “The combination of oral, visual, and kinesthetic modalities accommodates children’s varied learning styles,” says Marla. For a kindergarten math lesson, she has

the children sing this ditty: If you know how to count you can add by one. “I also use folk songs, for example, Follow the Drinkin’ Gourd, to teach kids about slavery, and how the slaves used the North Star to find their way to freedom.” Marla uses man y of her songs in her original professional development workshops for teachers. One workshop deals with how music and movement facilitate literacy. Another workshop teaches collaborative songwriting. “I wrote one of my favorite songs, We Love to Read, with a second grade class! The kids were very excited about learning to read. They were amazed at how those ‘squiggles on the page’ became letters. We had a magical time working together!” This is what classroom teachers do best and to this day Marla’s music is sought out by education practitioners around the country to integrate her songs into lessons of their own invention. Although retired from public school teaching, Marla continues to pursue her art by producing videos at home and uploading them to her YouTube channel. Marla adds, “The arts empower us and give us the ability to make a difference.” To find out more about Marla Lewis and her music visit her website at marlalewis.com. “We all Laugh in the Same Language!” • Frances McGarry - francesmcgarry.com

TWO FASHION WORTHY CAuSES by Sara Fingerman Thousands of Long Islanders get diagnosed with cancer every year. Each individual that is diagnosed reacts differently. Some rely on the power of prayer and others rely on the support and the kindness of others. This spring, Gem Magazine LI attended two Fashion Shows benefiting Gem-worthy causes. Both events were glossy, fancy affairs catered to perfection. Each of the shows provided the latest designers and fashion trends of today. The child models stole the shows, of course! What was the most apparent, at both of these events, was the amount of love, support and dedication every single guest, presenter, attendee and planner had at each benefit. On March 23rd 2012, guests and attendees flooded in to The Watermill Caterers in Smithtown, NY to attend Long Island OCEANS Wave of Hope fashion show and dinner. LI OCEANS is committed to improving the overall survival rate and quality of life of woman with gynecological issues. The evening was filled with fashion, shopping, dining and raffles. Karen Hammond was an amazing host and was especially thankful to Thea from Elan Boutique of Smithtown for helping her plan the event, as well as special guest speaker Dr. Beverly Ortiz of Sound Gynecology-Oncology. Karen shared with us the importance of 60

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the fight against Ovarian Cancer. For more information about LI OCEANS please go to lioceans.org. On Wednesday April 11th 2012, Competition BMW of Smithtown transformed their showroom into a fashionable red carpet event. An Evening of Beauty and Fashion was brought to us by Spatique Medical Spa, Paris Salon, Flair Designer Boutique and Believe. All proceeds of the event went to the Love for Beth organization. Beth Young is a remarkable woman that has been battling breast cancer since May 2011. Kaley Young, Beth’s daughter shared a heartwarming champagne toast about her mother; there was not a dry eye in the room. Please go to loveforbeth.org. The love for Beth website is a communication tool used to post upcoming events, give well-wishes, encouraging messages and as a vehicle for accepting generous donations. Living on Long Island, we are used to life being fast-paced. Sometimes we take life’s gifts for granted. Often it takes something unfortunate like cancer to bring life into perspective. When cancer strikes, everything else needs to be put on pause. By attending these events and donating to these causes, we are reminded that we have neighbors all over the island from Montauk to Great Neck willing to help each other and provide love, support and friendship.

GIRL’S NIGHT OUT

“BALANCE” AT TULA KITCHEN FINDING

by Rosemarie Kluepfel

Often for women, balancing family, friends, work, community and self is the key to happiness. At Tula Kitchen, 41 East Main Street, in the heart of the newly transformed Bayshore, owner/chef Jacqueline Sharlup understands the importance of this balance. After all “Tula” means “balance” in Sanskrit, the perfect name for her bohemian style eatery with nutritious, delicious food and welcoming atmosphere.

Tula Kitchen

Tula Kitchen is the ideal gathering spot for a fun Girl’s Night Out. Come to Happy Hour, any Tuesday through Fridays, 4pm to 7pm, gather at the full bar for $7 Absolut martinis or Tula punch and relax among friends. Order a bottle of wine and enjoy the complimentary hummus and toasted pita as you listen to live music from the exciting entertainment planned each month, to the delight of the patrons. Hungry? Try the Skillet Veggie Cheese Toast: roasted veggies on grilled garlic toast smothered in melted goat cheese or Spinach Pie with Tzatziki Sauce. Stay for dinner and enjoy the Seared Sesame Crusted Tuna, Grilled Marinated Chicken Kabobs or Gemelli Shrimp Pasta. How about the Tofu Veggies Crab Cakes or Tempeh Teriyaki, two of several vegan dishes on the menu? With a variety of choices on the menu, one thing all the Girls will agree upon is that everything was delicious. Cheers!

HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS 4-7pm Tues.-Fri. (at bar only) $7 Absolut Martinis • $7 Tula Punch • $5 Well Drinks 1/2 Price Domestic Beer 1/2 Price Select Wines by the Glass

The meaning of.... Each and every one of us has our own personal goals in life that we strive towards everyday. The most important things in my life have always been family, friends, love, laughter, health & belief in ones cause. The key to maintaining all that is through “BALANCE”. When I discovered the word “Tula” which is the Sanskrit meaning for balance, I knew in my heart that it was the perfect name. To be surrounded by delicious, nutritious food, good company & enjoy oneself implicitly is to be at Tula. We thank you for allowing Tula to be part of YOUR balance. -Jacqueline Sharlup

41 East Main Street, Bay Shore • 631-539-7183 • tulakitchen.com may 2012

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where

Broadway meets main street

In June 2007, after a multi-million dollar renovation, the historic Northport movie house was re-opened as the John W. Engeman Theater at Northport, becoming Long Island’s only year round professional theater company. Beginning its sixth season this summer, the John W. Engeman Theater is a preeminent entertainment venue for the discerning theater-goer from Montauk to Manhattan. The momentum of the theater’s success is due to its dedication to excellence; the quality of the performers, cast directly from the Broadway talent pool, the state-of-the-art facility and unparalleled service. The Theater also offers a Youth Theater Series sponsored by Bethpage Federal Credit Union and is home to the John W. Engeman Studio of the Performing Arts, offering year-round classes & summer camp for children. The 2012-2013 Main Stage Season, officially sponsored by North Shore LIJ, boasts a delightful mix of musicals, comedy and drama. I LOVE YOU, YOU’RE PERFECT,

food trends

NOW CHANGE, the awardwinning musical comedy about love in the suburbs, (July 5, - August 19, 2012), SWEET CHARITY, Neil Simon’s musical about the romantic ups-and-downs of an hopeful dance hall hostess (September 6, – October 28, 2012), A CHRISTMAS CAROL – A Ghost Story of Christmas, the classic tale of Ebenezer Scrooge (November 15, 2012 – January 6, 2013), WAIT UNTIL DARK, a masterfully constructed suspense drama (January 24, – March 10, 2013), BOEING BOEING, a high-flying comedy (March 21 - May 5, 2013), and SOUTH PACIFIC, the great Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, (May 23 - July 14, 2013). Now playing 42nd Street through June 17, 2012. Tickets may be purchased by visiting www.engemantheater.com, at the Engeman Theater at 250 Main Street, Northport or by calling the Box Office at 631-261-2900. To purchase Season Tickets or Gift Cards, for Group Rates or information on program advertising, please contact the Box Office directly.

by Joanne Kois

As a dedicated foodie, I am always looking for new eating experiences-in restaurants or as a home cook. When hunger calls, I use these free apps on my iPhone to help me find my culinary favorites on the go! These apps are also available for Android users. For the cook in the kitchen or on her way, download epicurious, an award-winning food site, which provides recipes from gourmet magazines, shopping lists to get you in and out of the market in a hurry, and guides for healthy cooking, holiday ideas and international cuisines. The site is easy to use with detailed food photos and storage for your family-pleaser meals. Winestein is the perfect app for those who need advice on wine to enjoy with their meal. Simply enter what you wish to eat and WineStein will list your best choices for the dish. WineStein will also help you choose a pairing wine from a restaurant menu. Be the wine expert in your party! 62

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Check out urbanspoon for new places to eat on the local scene. This app organizes restaurants by neighborhood, type of cuisine and price. You spin the categories and the app will search for just what you feel like eating tonight.

If you need a tip as to where to eat when you’re traveling to your favorite city, get the dish from chefs feed, an app built by famous chefs like Wolfgang Puck and Mario Batali. The chefs recommend best eats in hot spots, as well as what they crave and where to get it all around the country.

Your Neighborhood Place To Meet, Eat & Drink

Watch it HERE!

The Kentucky Derby, The Preakness, The Belmont Stakes, The Breeder’s Cup, or Your Favorite Race! We have

OTB

Quick bet

Healy’s Inn Your Neighborhood Place To Meet, Eat & Drink

Monday Night

Mexican Night featuring Popular Favorites $1 Beef Tacos and $5 Margueritas $1 OFF Coronas 5-10pm A Nice Selection of Tequilas!

Tuesday Night

SURF&TURF COMBOS $14.95 from 5-10pm includes two sides

Wednesday Night

All You Can East Pasta 5-10pm Mix Pastasand andSauces Sauces$12 $12 Mixand andMatch Max Pastas

Thursday Night

BUY ONE APPETIZER GET 2ND FREE FROM 5-10pm

Friday Night 5pm-12am

Tuesday Night

16 oz. Marinated NY Strip Steak $19 served w/salad & baked potato

Surf & Turf Combos

Saturday Night 5pm-11pm

$14.95

Chef’s Choice featuring Fresh Seafood Specials

SUNDAY NIGHTS - Kids Eat Free off Children’s

includes 2 sides

Menu. One child per adult 5pm-8pm

A Family Atmosphere • Open 7 Days For Lunch & Dinner • All major credit cards

631-754-2700 • 54 Broadway, Greenlawn • healysinn.com may 2012

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Gift CertifiCate SpeCial! $20 BONUS GC for every $100 GC purchased! (can mix denominations) From Thanksgiving - New Years Eve

Because every mom deserves a break.

Join us for our Mother’s Day Special! MOM EATS FOR FREE

from our special Mother’s Day Dinner Menu

4pm-9pm

(one mom per table, minimum 4 person table)

LIVE MUSIC

WEEKLY WEDNESDAY -SATURDAY

The “Ultimate” HAPPY HOUR

Half Price Drinks & Appetizers Monday - Friday 4pm - 7pm (bar only)

Three Course Prix Fixe Menu

Everyday - $26.95 (Fri. & Sat. till 6:30pm)

Black&Blue SEAFOOD CHOPHOUSE

65 WALLSTREET, HUNTINGTON, NY 11743

631-385-9255

Our Patio Is OPEN!