Volume 30 Issue 1

Page 1

an alternative voice since 1984

an

SBI

publication

0 9 . 0 4 . 2 0 1 2 “Let your

v

eard.” oice be h

Vol.

30

Issue:

1

ubgeneration.com

GENERATION MAGAZINE

What’s That Fee For? Smitten for Ryan UB Geese Fifty Shades Of...


October 25

ke k Ta c ht Ba ig

Thursday

i eN Th

Save the Date!

2 1 20

this year located on:

North Campus sbihealtheducation.org Facebook.com/SBIhealthed Twitter: @SBIHealthEd

tune into

WRUB

your on-campus

student radio

On air programing begins

September 7th Streaming online 24/7 at sbi.buffalo.edu/wrub Join our first information meeting: Thursday, September 6 at 7:00 pm in Knox 110 716.645.3370 twitter: @wrub facebook.com/wrubradio


CONTENTS

n o i t a r e n Ge

2 1 0 2 e n Magazi

8

9

EIC Letter 5 A letter from the Editor Agenda, Hit and BS 7 American Idiot at CFA UB Geese 8 They’re everywhere! Fall Fest 2012 9 Returning to Form Penn State/College Football 10 Slaughtering the Cash Cow Paul Ryan 11 Smitten by Specifics Move in pictures 13 Move in day! K-Stew Baby Boo 14 He Said/She Said 15 What if my roomate doesn’t bathe? Student Activity Fee 16 What’s that fee for? Summer Concert Wrap Up 18 TITS Now Harbor and Upcoming Concerts 19 What’s Coming Up Fifty Shades review 20 Fifty Shades of ... Poetry 21 Parting Shots “History in the Making” 22 Ryan Lochte 23

22


Safety Walks Legal Assistance North Campus Capen Library YOU. SBI

In need of legal services? is here for

Sun-Thurs: 8pm-2am

South Campus Monday-Friday | 12pm-5pm

377 Student Union • Walk-Ins Welcome

Health Sciences Library 716.645.3056 Sun-Thurs:sbilegal@buffalo.edu 8pm-12am sbi.buffalo.edu/legal

Sa fePharmacy ty Shuttle SBI Your On-Campus Pharmacy

South Campus Only

Mon & Fri 8:30am-5pm

Tues Wed Thur 9am-5pm

17 Michael *UB ID requiredHall to ride South Campus

(located in the basement) [8pm-4am ] Everyday sbihealtheducation.org 716.829.2368 facebook.com/SBIhealthed sbi-pharmacy@buffalo.edu twitter: @SBIHealthEd sbi.buffalo.edu/pharmacy


EIC Letter Article By: Ally Balcerzak

H

ere it is, the very thing I’ve been waiting for since I walked into the Generation office as a sophomore: my first official Editor’s Letter. So before I really get into this, I’m going to take a moment to bask in the glory of accomplishing one of my biggest goals from undergrad. Okay. Moment over.

Welcome to the 2012-2013 school year. Will it be epic? If you decide that’s what you’re going to aim for, then maybe. Will it be horrendous? It’s possible, especially if you’re a first year law, pharmacy, medical, or grad student. But again, it depends on what you make of it. What I can tell you is what this year won’t be. It won’t be anything you want unless you put in the effort. Now, I should probably be advising you guys to hit the ground running with classes and to focus on your schoolwork over everything else. But even I would question my sanity if I did. The truth is, college is about more than classes and homework. Actually, I’ve started to believe that the formal education part of college is only a minor thing in the whole process. This could very well be senioritis talking, but college is about the experience as a whole. If after four, five, or

however many years you spend here, all of your memories involve classes and homework, you did something wrong. Yes, grades are important, especially if you plan on continuing your education later on, but college is also about meeting people, having fun, and experiencing life. Some of those experiences will be thrilling, like the first time you break the rules and venture somewhere on campus that you’re not supposed to. Other experiences will make you cringe, like the first time you’re up all night taking care of a friend after a little too much fun at that party on South. But it’s the good and the bad that truly make up the college experience. Without both sides, you’d have a warped perspective on life and come graduation would feel like you missed out on something. So here I am after three years of undergrad and I’ve finally realized that sometimes I need to leave my office. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made some great friends while writing for Generation, and I’m not a total hermit since I’m a part of other groups on campus as well. But most of the time, I hide in 315 Student Union between my classes. If I’m going to sit here and say there’s more to college than homework, I very well better live it. Which is why this year, things are changing. In the past, Generation hasn’t always had the door open during the day, even when editors are chilling in the office. This year we’ll be propping open the door so everyone can come say hi. After all, we can’t call ourselves a student publication unless we actually make the office accessible to students. At the same time, opening the door means opening ourselves up to meeting new people and furthering our college experience. Personally, I’m looking forward to the day someone walks in and strikes up a conversation with me about something other than literature or SBI. While I’m always up for discussing Health Education’s newest event involving free condoms, it’d be nice to discuss hockey, Gotye, or the newest action flick with someone. Over the past two years I’ve had more than enough discussions over classic lit and campus politics with not-sorandom visitors, so it’s time for something new.

F F A ST

Editor in Chief Ally Balcerzak Managing Editor Keighley Farrell Creative Director Melissa Osterweil Assistant Creative Director Emily Butler Photo Editor Dinorah Santos Web Editor Gabrielle Gosset Copy Editor Lee Auslander Associate Editors Laura Borschel Carlton Brock Paul Stephan Circulation Director Dan Warne Business Manager Brian Kalish Ad Manager Jessica Bornes

I want my senior year at UB to be epic.

-5-


SBI Pharmacy Your On-Campus Pharmacy

17 Michael Hall South Campus

Mon & Fri 8:30am-5pm Tues Wed Thur 9am-5pm

(located in the basement) 716.829.2368 sbi-pharmacy@buffalo.edu sbi.buffalo.edu/pharmacy

In need of legal services?

SBI

Legal Assistance is here for

YOU.

377 Student Union • Walk-Ins Welcome

Monday-Friday | 12pm-5pm

716.645.3056 sbilegal@buffalo.edu sbi.buffalo.edu/legal


HIT Agenda: BU Green Day’s angsty 2004 album American Idiot hit Broadway in 2010 to rave reviews, and the musical is coming to UB’s Center for the Arts on September 8 and 9. Come see the one-act show and remember how mad you used to be at George Bush. Tickets are available at the box office and Ticketmaster. Toronto International Film Fest: Every weekend in September Bills Season Opener: Sunday Sept 9th. 1:00 Buffalo in Kansas City Rush week: Don’t get paddled too hard… unless you like it. Breaking Bad Season Premieres: Sunday September 2nd. MTV Video Music Awards: Thursday September 6th. Will Kanye let Taylor Swift finish?

or

LLSHIT

HIT

ETHIOPIAN FOOD

Buffalo was devoid of Ethiopian restaurants until three new ones opened in the past six months. One of them, Mike’s American and Ethiopian Cuisine, is only a couple blocks from South Campus on Bailey Avenue. If you don’t know what Ethiopian food is like, imagine Indian and Middle Eastern cuisine served on delicious pancake flatbread stuff that you eat with your hands. If you don’t know what Ethiopia is, it’s a country in Africa.

TODD AKIN

BS

The Missouri Congressman and Senate candidate said that women rarely get pregnant from “legitimate rape”, saying in an interview that, “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” In case you weren’t aware, legitimate rapes are apparently different from illegitimate ones. In the same way, Republicans like Todd Akin on the House Science Committee are different from real scientists who actually use data and facts instead of pulling things out of their asses.

HIT

KRISTEN STEWART

Now that the scandal surrounding Kristen Stewart is finally starting to blow over, now she can finally come out of the closet. Kristen will finally be able to light the gay torch that Jodie Foster passed down to her when they filmed Panic Room together.

ENGAGED?!

BS

Avril Lavine is now engaged to the front man of Nickelback. Other than ruining her reputation and losing fans, we all finally know the ONE person who actually likes Nickelback. If it lasts, my only real fear is what will their children look like? Little monsters donning eyeliner and plaid shirts yelling “but I’m punk”?

-7-


T

he dispute of whether or not the tasty, bubbly beverage is referred to as ‘soda’ or ‘pop’ has the UB student population divided. It is either a heated argument or just a way for students from downstate to poke fun of the local population. But, there is one thing that UB students tend to agree on. And that is the geese. Named the Canada Goose, these irritating creatures dominate nearly every field on campus. They waddle around the parking lots in massive groups and cross the street when cars are trying to pass. It is as if they forget that they have wings and can fly over the Audubon rather than take half a year to get to the other side. Senior Political Science major Jonathan Grunin says, “They always cross the street when I’m trying to get to work. They don’t fly. They cross it. And then I’m always late, even if I leave early.” The geese seem to love increasing road rage among UB drivers. “My friend was driving and they wouldn’t move out of the roundabout so she kept driving,” senior Psychology major Meghann Nielsen said. “I was yelling for her to not hit them but she was like, ‘I don’t care’.” (We do not recommend running over the geese, as annoying as they are.)

UB Ev Ge ery es wh e: er e!

Even students who don’t drive are frustrated with the geese. Their poop is sprinkled around campus and it’s a wonder of how so much of it can come from such small bodies. I worked as an Orientation Leader this summer and it was a common reminder to parents and freshmen that the poop is everywhere and to be careful where they step. Some wound up looking like they were playing hopscotch trying to avoid it. Grunin jokes, “I use this as an idiot detector. If you have goose crap on the bottom of your shoe it means you were too stupid to pay attention.” Canada’s worst import (after Justin Bieber) is also known for attacking humans, usually if they feel threatened. The Internet is littered with websites and articles detailing this behavior. YouTube provides various entertaining videos of it as well. The National Post has recommended putting helmets on children during the geese’ mating season to prevent attacks. But that just seems extreme. “At orientation, I was walking behind the group and I stopped to let a few geese go and one of them started to chase me,” freshman Alex Chapman said. Letting them walk by is not a very threatening act, so it’s no wonder that people can be afraid of them. One UB student states that she was bitten as a child despite that she never provoked the goose. While their response to threats is legitimate, these irritating animals also have a habit of making nests and laying their eggs in the most inconvenient places. Last year, geese laid eggs outside of Capen Hall, the parking lot near Griener, and in the courtyard of Porter, among other places. Since it is illegal to move a nest, it may get fenced. And if it is in a parking lot, these nests may take up precious parking spots. It’s really difficult to enter your residence hall building or leave it when the nest is right there. The male struts around, hissing at everyone who comes near. I get it. You want to protect your unborn babies. But, when I just simply want to enter my building and then my room to take a nice, very much needed nap, that’s a problem. A friend of mine once walked by the nest in Porter, making sure to keep his distance and the male goose flew at him. Had he not tripped, I think the goose would have tried to bite his head off. Or just rip out a chunk of hair. Unfortunately, there is no reasoning with a goose that cannot comprehend a single word of the English language. And in my hatred of them, I may make them seem more vicious than they are. But, I know I am not alone in my frustration. The geese are a nuisance on this campus. Their poop is everywhere, they walk on the streets, and hiss at people when they’re angry. But as annoying as they are, they are here to stay. And who doesn’t love seeing the cute chicks walk around in the spring? They give a nature-like feel to the campus, even if nature likes to honk at 8 in the morning and wake you up before your alarm clock even remembers to ring. It could be worse. We could have bats flying into the rooms of Ellicott. Oh, wait…

-8-

lander

Ar

us : Lee A y B e l c ti


: 2 1 0 t 2 rm

o s F e o t F g n l i l n r a u

F

Ret

I

t’s the beginning of the semester, which sadly means that summer is over. No more long days of doing nothing, no more gigantic paychecks from working long hours. And while these things have come to an end, there are things to look forward to in the school year. One of the shining examples of things to look forward to doing is the annual Fall Fest concert. This year’s Fall Fest will be headlined by hip-hop acts J. Cole and Childish Gambino. If you’ve never been to Fall Fest before it’s one of the better events offered for free to students due to the Student Activity Fee. To sum it up, it’s a music festival with a few acts playing, which generally match in genre of music. There are a lot of people from both within and outside UB that attend, and it’s generally a good time. Fall Fest this year, as with years past, is the spot of a bit of controversy. Everyone has an opinion on the acts, the genre, the day, the time, even the location (Fall Fest this year is at Baird Point, as is typical unless there is heavy rain or other inclement weather.) One needs only to look at the Fall Fest official Facebook page to see the range of opinions, some of which have as many as 145 comments as of this writing. Common complaints range from people hating the line up to the fact that it’s more hip-hop oriented. To address the first qualm people have with the genre, historically speaking Fall Fest is part of a balancing act. Fall Fest and its sister concert, Spring Fes, are part of a balancing act. One of those concerts will appeal to more hip-hop and the other will be more rock ‘n roll. In either case the headliners are generally more mainstream acts that are more widely recognized. In the recent past, Fall Fest has been headlined by The Fray, Lupe Fiasco, Jason Mraz, and Ludacris, to name a few. Reading this list counteracts one of the biggest arguments, regardless of which direction the SA decides to go with when booking acts, “Fall Fest is supposed to be (insert genre).” Looking back, it has been in a rotation with rock and hip-hop alternating every year. In the long run it is even, despite the constant claims. So if you are looking for tradition, the only real tradition is the fact that there is a Fall Fest at all. Continuing with the idea of history, one has to consider that recent Fall Fest history is not on the side of this year’s extravaganza. Last year’s event was widely seen as a failure. A big part of the problem was that the headlining act, The Fray, was irrelevant at the time in terms of mainstream music. When compared to the years proceeding like Jason Mraz and Lupe Fiasco whom had large followings at the time and have consistently released new music, The Fray’s popularity had dwindled. Low attendance in combination with little interest in The Fray created a big problem in what has been widely considered a bad Fall Fest. By comparison this year’s event is on track to be more widely accepted as both J. Cole and Childish Gambino have a huge following and recent hits. And while it’s impossible to make every single person that attends or not happy, it’s apparent that the effort is there to make this year more memorable than last. A lot of that has to do with the fact that Fall Fest and Spring Fest last year were a major point of contention among the general student body when voting for the current SA E-Board. As far as comparing this year’s act to the previous Fall Fest hip-hop acts, Childish Gambino and J. Cole are more in line with Lupe Fiasco than Ludacris. These acts are more conscious rap than Luda. And while disturbing the peace by telling bitches to move and get out the way, while singing about how you have the potion that gets your back in motion makes for a great concert, it lacks something that appeals to people who are quick to categorize hip-hop as something that should be ignored. A similar effect was seen with more recent events where the acts chosen had more of a mixed appeal such as NERD at Spring Fest 2010 and has continued since, finding acts with wider appeals helps keep the events well attended which is why this year has more anticipation.

Article By: Carlton Brock

At the end of the day, Fall Fest is a free concert. And while it will never be perfect, this year’s line up shows an attempt to return to form after last year’s misstep. So why not go and enjoy yourself at a free concert featuring acts people are paying to see all over the country when they’re on tour.

-9-


Slaughtering the Cash Cow

How Penn State Turned its Back to Abuse

I

n June, the NCAA announced stiff penalties for Penn State in response to assistant coach Jerry Sandusky’s sexual abuse of multiple boys, which occurred over the course of many years. The university will be fined $60 million. Its football team is banned from postseason play for four years and must award fewer scholarships. Former head coach Joe Paterno’s 112 wins from 1998 onwards have been annulled.

College football is a big business. Penn State’s program brought in more than $72 million dollars in revenue in 2010, according to the Department of Education. While some of that money went toward supporting the team and other athletics, much of it went to the rest of the university. Penn State football turned a $53 million profit that year. That’s $1,440 for every undergraduate at the school.

Leaving the Jerry Sandusky scandal aside for a moment, the incredible prominence of college sports raises a lot of questions about higher education itself. The university’s primary purpose is to foster learning, academic achievement, and research. Yet football and basketball have become engrained in our psyche as essential parts of the college experience. What does it say about American colleges that their most valuable assets are their athletics programs? When your school is bringing in eight figures a year from a football team, what does that say about where you place value? I don’t know the answers to these questions, and frankly I don’t have enough space to do them justice here. Maybe academia and athletics can peacefully coexist in one big happy university. But the Penn State fiasco should force us to question that notion. It’s clear to me that the massive “success” of the school’s football program discouraged anyone in power from making difficult decisions, the kind of decisions that could have prevented further abuse.

This means that, without a football program, students at Penn State would have to pay $1,440 more in tuition to maintain the university’s revenue stream. And the dollar signs are only part of the story. Big-name football schools enjoy name recognition and prestige, drawing athletic as well as academic talent from around the country. Some have argued that these huge athletic programs are a good thing. They keep tuition low, boost application numbers, and fund less prominent sports. But, “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” When a single program offers this much value, those in power will do what they can to protect it.

UB does not seem as susceptible to this, because our athletics programs are nowhere near as profitable or as prestigious. UB football, along with all other men’s sports, breaks even financially. All women’s sports make money for the school, $4.5 million in all, with women’s basketball being the biggest breadwinner. That pales in comparison to Penn State’s $31 million profit from athletics. Still, this university has its own treasures to guard. Any time a large organization draws in money and publicity from a single source, it’s very easy for leaders to turn their backs to wrongdoing. We would do well to remember that.

Penn State football was extremely profitable and universally popular, both inside and outside Happy Valley. It brought to the university all of the great things mentioned above: money, prestige, and admissions. That would make any administrator’s mouth water. And it would make anyone, including then-president Graham Spanier, reluctant to question the program’s activities or its place at the university.

Penn State will have to learn to live without a strong football team for a while and I think that’s a good thing. If anything positive has come out of Jerry Sandusky’s crimes, maybe it’s that we’re forced to question the pedestal on which we place college athletics. And maybe we’ll eventually be able to think of colleges as something more than sports franchises.

We can rightly blame the administration for not doing what they could to stop Jerry Sandusky’s sexual abuse. But we can also come to understand why everyone stayed silent for so long. Taking any serious action might have drawn negative publicity to the school’s reputed football program, causing serious damage to the school’s image and to its balance sheet. With so much to lose, maybe Spanier and company figured

All this is not to say that I don’t love college sports. I thoroughly enjoy watching people my age get concussions over a piece of leather, and I hope football and basketball are here to stay, in some palatable form. It’ll be a long time before universities get rid of these programs, if they ever do. Until then, go Bulls!

Maybe the harsh sanctions will prevent a Sandusky-like scandal from ever happening again. Maybe colleges will ensure problems are reported and addressed before they get out of hand. But I doubt it.

Article by: Paul Stephan -10-

they were better off sweeping this under the rug. Penn State football was a cash cow and they weren’t going to slaughter it.


Smitten by Specifics M Article by: Paul Stephan

itt Romney recently selected Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan as his vice presidential nominee. Ryan is best known for his dreamy blue eyes and for the topless pictures of him that have recently surfaced on the web. Oh yeah, he’s also the chair of the House Budget Committee, where he authored “The Path to Prosperity”, House Republicans’ controversial budget proposal. The “Ryan Budget”, as it’s often called, would reduce the top marginal corporate tax rate from 35% to 25%. It would also preserve the Bush tax cuts for all Americans. While the Path to Prosperity makes no cuts to defense, it does significantly reduce spending on education, environmental protection, the social safety net, and pretty much everything else the government spends money on. The proposal also transforms Medicare into a voucher program, whereby people receive vouchers to buy health care on the private market. Overall, Ryan’s budget reduces the federal deficit by more than $3 trillion over the next ten years. Mitt Romney had a lot of good reasons to pick Paul Ryan as his running mate. In some ways, Ryan is a perfect foil for the Governor’s perceived weaknesses. For more than a year now, Romney has been trying to win the affection

of the conservative base, mostly by toeing the Republican Party line on every salient issue. This hasn’t been easy for Mitt, as he’s had to backtrack on many of his previously held positions on healthcare, the stimulus, and climate change. Conservatives never really bought the act; the GOP primary had seven different front runners this year, as voters speed-dated with different Romney alternatives and ultimately became disenchanted with each of them. While he won the primary, Mitt Romney never received the enthusiastic support that other candidates did. Republicans were content with Romney, not ecstatic. Romney also has a reputation for being stiff and impersonal. His handlers have been taking away his ties and trying to cast him as a casual, everyman figure, but voters still find it hard to relate to him. The Romney campaign, up until now, had also been remarkably vague. Romney’s main message – Obama sucks, and I’m a businessman – was short on details, because details can alienate people. And so the Republican nominee was perceived as not sufficiently conservative, not relatable, and not specific. Enter Paul Ryan. Ryan excites conservatives and is a darling of the Tea Party. Where Mitt Romney’s conservative cre-

dentials are questionable, his running mate’s are perceived as solid. Paul Ryan is also an engaging figure. His speeches are exciting, and not in a Sarah Palin “You betcha” way. He clearly knows his stuff, and he’s made a name for himself by diving into the nitty-gritty of policy. Which brings me to Ryan’s biggest asset: specificity. Political campaigns are typically littered with talking points and broad statements of principle while being very scant on actual proposals. This vice presidential pick changes all that. The Path to Prosperity is necessarily specific, which makes conservative voters, donors, and activists happy. Someone is on their side, and isn’t afraid to show it. I admire Paul Ryan for his specificity. In 2009 and 2010, when Congressional Republicans were spending all their time trying to defeat anything the Democrats tried, Ryan was hard at work, mapping out an actual plan to reduce the deficit. In an age of talking points and sound bites, it takes a certain kind of courage to offer specifics. And it takes a certain kind of courage on Romney’s part to pick Paul Ryan as his running mate when much safer options existed. And yet, Paul Ryan’s nomination could be a kiss of death for Repub-

licans in 2012. Americans like the idea of specifics, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they like your specifics. Putting ideas out there is admirable, but it’s only going to win an election if those ideas actually make sense to voters. For all its boldness, the Ryan Budget has a lot of problems. Keeping taxes low for the wealthy and maintaining the current trend of military spending requires huge spending cuts elsewhere. A lot of those cuts will come out of the social safety net, which does nothing to reduce inequality in this country, already the worst of the Western world. While the Medicare voucher program should, in theory, drive down costs, independent analyses show that it will put more of a burden on seniors. Those are hard facts to explain away. To complicate things further, Americans tend to be conservative in theory and liberal in practice. Polls show that most Americans want the government to spend less, and they want less government intrusion in their lives. But those same Americans want more funding for schools and roads, and they don’t want cuts to Medicare or Social Security. So which way will the country go in November? It’s too soon to say, but now that Paul Ryan’s here, Obama has been given the gift of specificity.

-11-


4276 Maple Road, at Sweet Home in the AMC Plaza 716-833-8438

Bring your s

tudent ID fo

10% off

your lunch Your Drinking and Eating Academy

from 12-5

r

daily!

38 ft bar lit up with LED’s FULLY stocked with ALL your favorites Best Patio in Amherst 9 HD TV’s for all your sports Digital Jukebox with a HUGE Dance floor 2 Professional Wi-Fi Dartboards

JUST MINUTES FROM UB NORTH CAMPUS!! Facebook: theUbuffalo

Check us out throughout the week for specials, happy hour, live DJs and the best nighttime atmosphere around!!

Follow us on Twitter

Open from Noon-4am Daily!!

Like us on Facebook

Twitter: @TheU_Buffalo


6 1 0 2 f so

s a l C

M

! n i e v o

-13-


K-Stew Baby Boo Article By: Laura Borschel

I

first laid eyes on you when you first graced the screen in Panic Room alongside Jodie Foster. Little did I know, but she would pass on the torch of being a moody closeted lesbian to you with this role.

After Panic Room, you took on angsty roles in movies like Speak, Safety of Objects, and Into the Wild. It was during this time that I realized your true (gay) destiny. All the telltale signs were there: the awkward finicky body language, and the painfully obvious tom-boyish clothes and haircut. Truth be told, I saw a bit of myself in you young Gay-Stew. I felt a connection with you, one that can only be compared to Obi Wan Kinobi and Anniken Skywalker. I hoped and prayed that you would follow the path and end up somewhere in West Hollywood going hiking , eating vegan food, and spending your Saturdays reading in bed with your cats. These hopes and dreams however, came crashing down with the release of Twilight. Upon the release, the paparazzi and media hounded you and your male co-stars, promptly crushing every West Hollywood aspiration I yearned for. There was talk of a “secret” relationship between you and Robert Pattinson. As distraught as I was, I could tell that this was not your doing. It was obvious that your PR team selfishly wanted to generate publicity for the upcoming future movie installments. So, along with you, I hunkered down for the long wait to be over. It would take years for the Twilight saga to be over, but I was willing to wait damnit. I basked in the sheer gayness that was The Runnaways. Any doubt or paranoia that the Twilight saga had instilled in me was washed away. Your chemistry with Dakota Fanning was explosive on set. Even unaware of your own clear homosexuality, you quipped “It’s intense. I’m going to cinematically de-flower Dakota Fanning”. The longing stares and intimate touching during interviews didn’t help either.

I was confident in my sixth sense. I know the true colors of you K-Stew. Even after the cheating scandal hit, my confidence did not waver. I know that you are itching to escape the glass closet that you have been encased in. With hope, with the last release of the Twilight saga, Breaking Dawn Part Two, you will finally be free and able to come out.


How long should I really spend getting ready for class in the morning?

HE SAID SHE SAID As a man, I can say it should take you 3 and a half minutes. One minute to use the bathroom. One minute to shave. One minute to shower. That last half-minute is reserved for getting dressed. Because let’s be honest, nobody is really paying attention to how you look in class anyway if it’s in the morning.

What if my roommate doesn’t bathe?

The best way to handle your stinky situation is tell them they stink. You don’t need to be mean about it, but if you are bothered by the smell that can mess up your day. Besides that, if you have a date at home, nobody wants to be in a stinky room. The same can be applied to a roommate that has less than hygienic habits. You don’t want to be a parent but you aren’t required to deal with a stench either. If all of the above doesn’t work, Febreeze, lots and lots of Febreeze. Fumigate them.

How do I find time to touch myself when I’m living with a roommate?

First off, everybody does it. That being said, realistically speaking you’re going to be doing it a lot less, unless you like being watched and your roommate enjoys watching. So here’s what I suggest: find a time when nobody is in the room. The more roommates you have, the harder it is. Trust me, they are doing this too. If you have the room to yourself on Friday mornings from 10:45 to 11:15 between Roomie A and Roomie B leaving and returning from class, don’t oversleep. Whatever you do, do not masturbate in the showers or the toilets of the dorms. Also don’t touch the walls floors or toilets of the dorm bathrooms. Like I said, everybody does it, at least once.

How do I navigate using the Stampede?

Sounds so dumb but I had no idea where to get on the bus, where it took me or how frequently it came. I walked to class the first week simply because of my fear of the UB bus system. I’ve only really ever rode the North campus busses (busses in, to, or from North campus). So for busses that go between the Spine and Ellicott go to the stop that is closest to Starbucks on Campus and the Elli at Ellicott. If you decide to ride on the other stop you’re going to South. Now some free bus advice, if you get on that South Bus after midnight on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday be sure to be aware of the people on the bus. If you thought your stinky roommate from a few questions ago was bad you’ll hate to be the guy who got vomited on. That’s not just stink added; that’s a reputation killer. The bus will kick you off if it’s too full and you’re standing too close to the door so if you’re last on, go through the back door, stand on the stairs, and duck out of the drivers view. That way you don’t have to wait for another one.

I’ll let you in on a little secret: nobody likes the girl or guy who looks perfect every day. I mean good for them or whatever, but unless you’ve got ONE class, and it’s at 3 in the afternoon, I almost prefer to see my class bumming it. So long as you’re regularly bathing and doing your laundry, it shouldn’t take you any more than half an hour to be presentable for the day. Jeans and a t-shirt, or something equally easy. Don’t get crazy.

This is probably the most simple problem ever with the most difficult solution. How the heck do you tell someone they smell like a fart? I suggest tenderly implying that you’re worried about their personal hygiene and offer your assistance in the form of shampoo recommendations. Or just Febreeze them liberally. Very liberally. They’ll get the hint.

The best way to go about this is to post both of your schedules in the room somewhere. If your roommate doesn’t seem as open to the topic, feign enthusiasm about wanting to post them for a different reason. (Maybe so you can know when to get lunch together, when to shower, when to throw them surprise parties, etc.) Or just post yours first and hope peer pressure makes them feel obligated to put theirs up as well. Then just be as sneaky as possible! If your roommate is more open to the idea of communicating your intimate habits, ask them to shoot you a text if they get out of class early, to avoid any awkward intrusions. If none of these work, you’ll just have to go to the 5th floor of Capen like the rest of us do.

Well first you’ll have to develop the skill of the ‘buffer zone’, that is, leaving yourself lots of extra time to catch these rare, fickle creatures we call busses. Some days it may run like clockwork, other days you’ll be waiting for what seems like years. My advice is to make sure you know where each bus goes, or you’ll suddenly find yourself on a one-way track to South Campus when all you wanted was Jamba Juice. Take a weekend bus tour and get a feel for the route. Once you know where it goes, when it gets there is up to chance. Sometimes it’s just worth it to get some exercise instead.

Article by: Keighley Farrell and Carlton Brock

-15-


What’s That Fee For? E

very year undergraduates pay $94.75 as their Mandatory Student Activity Fee (MSAF) while Graduate and Professional students pay anywhere from $40 to $125 for theirs depending on the school. For most of us, we pay the fee as part of our tuition payment and don’t think twice about it, but this year that fee is coming up for a vote. This fall, the student body gets to decide whether or not to keep the fee mandatory, bringing it to the forefront of campus discussions. Instead of letting it hide in our bill, we need to think about what the fee covers and whether or not we should support it. Last year it became public knowledge that $300,000 had been accumulated from the MSAF and not allocated to anything in the SA budget. It didn’t take long for members of the Senate and former SA E-board to propose different ways to spend the money. When it was announced that part of the money would be spent to create an SA app, there wasn’t much dissent from the student body. After all, we are the “app generation.” But then the scandal happened.

-16-

Former SA Treasurer Sikander Kahn signed a contract to spend all $300,000 on developing that app, and to make matters worse, the company didn’t appear to be legitimate. Within days the student body had revolted against the SA and Kahn was public enemy number one. Luckily, the money was never actually spent, but the whole situation left undergrads questioning their faith in the SA. After all, the E-boards of each student government are made up of students. Is it really a good idea to trust them with millions of dollars? Between the SA and SBI, the MSAF covers numerous things on campus, but is it worth the $94.75 a year? According to Samantha Chasworth, a junior Spanish and Political Science major, it is. “I do think it is worth it to have the mandatory fee because of the activities around campus that it

goes towards. However, I wish that the students paying the fee had more of a say of exactly what they are paying for.” So where does the money go? Perhaps the most obvious uses of the MSAF are Fall Fest and Spring Fest. Whether you agree with the artists chosen in the past or not, it’s safe to say that the Fests are hugely popular on campus. Free to all undergrads, each concert brings the campus together for a night of free music and fun. There’s something to be said about an event that even professors are willing to acknowledge as being important to students. Other events hosted by the SA in the past thanks to the MSAF include the circus that came to campus a few years ago, skydiving simulations, and copious amounts of free food. Most semesters start with free doughnuts and coffee, and in the fall we get a cookout. On the first day of class this semester we got free hotdogs and the giant banana split. If the MSAF fails at the polls, we can say goodbye to the free food we’ve grown accustomed to over the years. Also funded by the MSAF: clubs. As anyone who has ever been on a club E-board can tell you, every recognized club is required to submit a budget each year requesting a certain amount of funding for the following school year. Those budgets are a pain to do, and the budget meeting with the Senate is a long process, but without the process most clubs wouldn’t be able to hold half of their events. Then there are all of the services SA provides clubs such as travel booking, entertainment booking and merchandise organizing. Say a club wants to go on a trip, they benefit from the MSAF not only with their budget, but also thanks to the travel department.t


If the MSAF wasn’t there to help provide club budgets, things simply would not happen. Most clubs wouldn’t be able to raise enough money to cover the costs of travel or hosting a large event. We wouldn’t get to experience things such as the LGBTA Drag Show and the Engineering Battle Bots Competition. The lack of budget would also lead to clubs having to decide if they are going to charge a fee to join. And let’s face it, most of us wouldn’t be able to afford dues for more than a club or two. Aside from clubs and SA events, the MSAF also funds many programs students don’t think about until they need them, and a large portion of those are part of Sub Board I, Inc. (SBI). For those that don’t know, SBI is UB’s student owned corporation responsible for a plethora of things from student medical insurance to Legal Assistance. Looking for a place to live off campus? The SBI Off-Campus Housing office can help. Free condoms for that frat party you’re going to this weekend? Swing by the SBI Health Education office to grab a few. If you get sick and need some tests done, SBI Clinical Lab is here for you, and then you can head over to the SBI pharmacy to get your prescription filled. Affordable health care is currently at UB thanks to SBI and the Student Activity Fee. Currently, using any of the SBI medical services is well within the budget of a college student. Prescriptions and over the counter medication are priced well below market price thanks to the MSAF money. Generic Nyquil, which any pharmacy student will tell you works just as well is only $3.19 and many birth controls without insurance cost only $15. To put that in perspective, at Walgreens Nyquil costs upwards of $7 and some birth controls will cost $30 even with insurance. Anyone who has ever ran a fundraiser for their SA club has also worked with yet another SBI department, the Ticket Office. While the name is a little deceiving since they handle club merchandise along with tickets, the department itself is still rather important. Without it, clubs would have a harder time selling tickets to events, t-shirts, and anything else they come up with to raise money. Instead of being able to pop over to the office on the second floor of the union, we’d be forced to hunt down club members and hope they have what we’re looking for. SBI also funds this very magazine and WRUB, our student-run radio station. Without WRUB, a lot of union events would be without music and an emcee. Instead of a sound system that could crank out the sound necessary for such a large space, we’d all be forced to listen to whatever lackluster speakers each group could come up with. On the print side, Generation is here to keep the student body informed of things happening around campus and the Buffalo area while also keeping people entertained. If the MSAF were to fail when it goes up for a vote, there would be drastic changes made to SBI. Anything non-essential for students would see their budgets cut, which would hit Generation and WRUB hard. Medica-

tion costs would rise in the pharmacy, and the cost of student medical insurance would face the possibility of increasing. At the same time, Legal Assistance and Off-Campus Housing could potentially have to cut staff. The current set up of SBI wouldn’t make it if the MSAF failed, there would be drastic change guaranteed. The Mandatory Student Activity Fee is the fee that keeps on giving whether we notice it or not. But at the end of the day, it is up for a vote because we the students get to decide if we want to keep paying it. When asked about the fee, senior Eric Carlson said, “Personally, I like it. I’ve benefited from numerous clubs and services supported by the fee. I’d like to see the student body vote to keep it.” However, not all students are fans of the fee. Walk through the union and you’ll hear someone complaining about the cost of attending UB. At over $6,000 for in-state tuition after fees and over $16,000 for out of state, it’s understandable why students would rather hold onto their $94.75. With the cost of a college education rising every year, every little bit saved certainly helps. Especially when students start totaling up how much they have to spend on textbooks on top of that tuition. It’s impossible for each student individually to benefit from every single thing that the MSAF funds. Yet at the end of the day, the fee is what pays for many of the things that make up a college experience. As the vote draws nearer, it’s important for every student to really think about how they’ve benefited from the MSAF. And when voting day arrives, be sure to get to the polls. We don’t get a say about much on campus, so when we do, it’s important to let your voice be heard.

Article by: Ally Balcerzak


Summer

Wrap Up

Article by: Laura Borschel

T

he greater Western New York area hit off the summer with a solid line up of venues and concert series’, including Art Park, Thursday in the Harbor/Outer Harbor, and the Town Ballroom. Each venue attracted many big name artists, like Peter Frampton, Feist, Salt-n-Pepa, Sublime with Rome, and Neon Trees. Some major changes came with the arrival of Art Park in June; the end of free Tuesday in the Park concerts. At first, many people, including myself were upset and disappointed that the long-standing free concerts would now be fenced in and a general admission fee would be charged. Did it signal a change in the fabric of Art Park? My worries however, were soon quelled after seeing the positive effects that admission prices and the newly added fence had on the quality of the concerts. As I was reminded, over the past few years, before the new rule was put in place, Tuesday concerts were packed with people, and usually ended up with people being arrested and the venue being trashed. After enacting the new rule, Tuesdays became revitalized. For as little as five dollars, you were given a much better, and ultimately safer, concert experience. The results certainly showed when Peter Frampton made a return to the venue this year. With a more managed crowd, Frampton preformed at his best, certainly living up to his status as a rock ‘n roll legend.

-18-

Art Park was also graced with the hugely popular skareggae-punk, and everything in between band Sublime with Rome. After seeing the resurrected band a few summers ago, I knew they were going to give a great performance to Art Park. The band started off by honoring their previous front man Bradley Nowell, who passed away in the 90’s. Rome Ramirez’s and the band’s performance was anything short of superb. To mine, and other fan’s happiness, they covered some of Sublime’s older music, including “Wrong Way” and “Smoke Two Joints”. Buffalo’s Outer Harbor had a wildly successful season attracting droves of concertgoers with big names like Feist, who did not disappoint. Feist and her band played mostly new material from her 2011 album Metals. Feist and her band opened up with “A Commotion”, which propelled the set forward, and invigorated the crowd. After the opening song, Feist gradually went back and settled into her signature dreamy melancholic groove with more off of Metals. Feist and her bands’ set were overall received well by the audience at the harbor. The free Thursdays in the harbor hosted several crowd filling concerts, possibly most notably Salt-n-Pepa. The duo drew in roughly 15,000 people to the harbor, where they played several of their classic hits like “O.P.P.” and “Rapper’s Delight”. At one point, the mayor of Buffalo, Byron Brown appeared on stage during the group’s rendition “Whatta Man”. Brown’s unexpected appearance on stage left an amusing impression on the audi-

ence, that was only made funnier by how out of place he looked his suit next to veteran rappers. The increasingly popular band Neon Tress graced the end of the summer performances in Buffalo at the Town Ballroom, promoting their album Picture Show. On tour with another band, Walk the Moon, Neon Trees played for a packed and energized audience. Walk the Moon opened their set with the song “The Liftaway” which got the crowd moving. After that, they played several more driving songs like “Next in Line” and “Shiver Shiver”. When Neon Trees finally got on stage, they opened up with the song “Moving in the dark”. As their set continued, they played a few songs from their first album Habits. The front man, Tyler Glenn’s interaction with the crowd throughout the night played off extremely well and only added to their performance. Neon Trees finished up their set with a few songs off of Picture Show before doing an encore for the fans. Overall, Buffalo got the chance to host many superb bands with both familiar and new changes to some concert venues, drawing in thousands of Buffalo residents and other fans to the greater WNY area. In my opinion, I would say that the right combination of venues and music variety helped the summer of 2012 to be highly successful for the Queen City.


e r a u q S e h t m r o o r b F r a H e h t to p

Plus

ing U m o C s What’

Article by: Laura Borschel

This summer marked a huge change for Buffalo regarding its free entertainment. The longtime widely popular and successful Thursday in the Square, changed venues to the canal harbor. After getting wind of this large change earlier this year, I would have been lying if I said I wasn’t wary of the shift. My main concern, like many others around me, was would the drastic change in venue cause an end of the well-known free concert series that Buffalo offers? On top of this, I was also deeply concerned whether or not the harbor would be a practical place to hold an entire concert series for the Buffalo population. Would it hold as many people as the square? Would it still draw in the same repeat concertgoers? And perhaps most importantly, would the shift cause a decline in the quality of acts? All the questions that were formulating in my head would soon be answered as Buffalo prepared to launch Thursday at the Harbor June 7th , with The Cult headlining. To mine, and many other Buffalo residents surprise, the change in location did not influence the free status of the concerts whatsoever. Like past Thursdays in the Square, the new venue was still open and freely available to the public. This great news put me in high spirits that other aspects from the square would cross over to the harbor. Even with the free label intact, I was still skeptical that the Harbor would be able to handle the amount of people that the concert series brought in.

Fiest, July 15 2012

Shockingly enough, I found the change in location actually proved to be much better than the square. Thinking back on previous concerts that I attended, I recalled the actual size of the square. It always managed to get congested and difficult to navigate with the large amount of people attending. Being placed directly in the middle of an urban setting also didn’t aid this either. Whenever I attended concerts at the square, I always found it to be a bit of a struggle to get in and out of the crowd. Whether that was to go and find a bathroom or to go and grab a drink. Not to mention that the lines

for the concessions and the port-a-potties usually deterred me from leaving my spot in the square. Unlike the square, the harbor proved to be more open and spacious. The change in setting lessened the feeling of being confined and overpowered by the buildings and landscape of downtown Buffalo. I found that the harbor actually allowed for room to walk around freely enough to where I didn’t have a problem getting through crowds. An added bonus to this was that the open area allowed there to more concession stands and bathrooms, so lines were short or non-existent. Overall, the harbor drew in just as many people, if not more, as the square. I can only attribute this to the relatively small changes in the actual concert series itself. The free status of the concerts along with the same low drink and food prices definitely kept veteran goers coming back. The largest draw, however, was of course the high quality acts that the series always draws. With a wide array of acts from The Cult, Fountains of Wayne, Salt-n-Pepa, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and more, the harbor was able to reel in many old and new concertgoers. I was also pleasantly surprised to see new acts like Built to Spill in the line up that had yet to grace the concert series. Overall, I would say that the shift in venue proved to be a smart and well thought out change. Instead of having the bands and concert goers over shadowed and packed closely into the scenery of downtown Buffalo, the harbor provided a much needed change in location, which ultimately opened up the venue, and put Buffalo’s waterfront at its center. Despite the end of the free Thursday summer concerts starting in September, Buffalo still has a lot to offer in relation to quality entertainment and concerts. Here are a few upcoming concerts to watch out for: Dropkick Murphys at the Outer Harbor, September 14th, Lotus at the Town Ballroom September 20th -21st, 3OH!3 at the Town Ballroom September 30th, and Matt and Kim at the Town Ballroom October 6th.

-19-


Fifty Shades of...

I

would like to start by saying that if you are one of the millions of people who have read (and maybe even enjoyed) this book, you are not to blame for the plague it has bestowed upon us. This literary faux pas has ensnared many innocent readers across many spectrums, and brings with it a general malaise of atrocious writing, yawn-inspiring characters, and a plotline that stems from a source so ridiculous, it mocks itself. Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James is not just an erotic novel, but also a sort of horrific funhouse. From the outside, it looks like we might be able to handle the tomfoolery that waits inside, but upon entry, we realize to our ultimate terror, that it is a trap. To begin my decent in to madness, I’ll describe for you the origins of this bestselling series. Like many sexually frustrated soccer moms before her, James was an enormous Twilight fan. (For those of you who are somehow liberated from the media’s grip, Twilight is a series by Stephanie Meyer about a girl who is very boring who is being fought over by some very exciting vampires and werewolves.) When she was done with the Twilight series, James decided she was going to write a fanfiction entitled Master of the Universe, in which the two main characters of Twilight, Edward and Bella, are in a BDSM relationship. After receiving some unpleasant reactions to the highly sexual nature of her fanfiction, James took it down and developed it in to an original piece, renaming and revamping the characters into her own Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.

-20-

You know what? Don’t Even Bother. So just to recap… James wrote a Twilight fanfiction, changed the names, threw in some more penetration, and became a bestselling author. I’m sorry, but I’m going to go ahead and call that cheating. I’m all for using other works as inspiration to fuel a new piece of writing, but Twilight came out less than 10 years ago, and is still an extremely popular book and movie franchise. (And it isn’t even well written to begin with!) So when you take one mediocre overly-popular piece of “literature,” and in a style very similar to that of Dr. Frankenstein, disassemble and reassemble it with a different “plotline” and different settings, you are not receiving my recognition as an honorable author. But I digress. Fifty Shades is teeming with literary injustices (like the fact that the word “crap” is said almost 100 times throughout the first novel) but I would like to take a serious look in to the injustices that the main character, Ana, presents to the female readers. Ana is a college-aged virgin, naïve and self-conscious when it is most convenient for her character, sultry and cold when it is most convenient for other characters. She is capricious and inconsistent as a character, and it is also alluded to hundreds of times throughout the book that Ana just doesn’t eat. No real importance to the plot. She just likes to starve herself. So in other words, she’s an updated version of Bella Swan, a super average, boring girl who magically finds herself being pursued and adored by men of a much more interesting status. And

also hates her body. (Or at least hates to nourish it.) While James’ intention was probably to bring a little hope in to the lives of women who found themselves “average” in the spectrum of life events, what results is a character who is improbable, inconsistent, annoying, impossible to relate to, and also can’t seem to shake the random handsome sexual billionaire, no matter how hard she tries. As if this wasn’t enough, Ana seems to be some kind of accidental porn star, prone to orgasm at the most improbable and unrealistic times. I’m sorry I have to be frank, but this does not happen to the average woman. And insinuating it does through the guise of popular media puts an ENORMOUS pressure on both men and women alike. Women are expecting that it is normal to be queens of climax, and consider it a huge crisis if they aren’t, and men who can’t make a woman scream with a mere touch of hand will wonder why they aren’t as sexually enticing as the fictional character their wives and girlfriends have grown to know and adore. Some people say that the series is all in good fun, and not to take it at anything more than face value. However, as with anything that becomes mainstream popular media, the Fifty Shades series has an impact on people, whether they know it or not. It’s objectifying not just men and women, but literature itself, and is a poor representation of what a “bestselling” novel should consist of. It’s alright to indulge in some smut from time to time, but Fifty Shades of Grey does no justice to the genre, and if you haven’t already been sucked in by its initial allure, it is most certainly not worth your time.

Article by: Keighley Farrell


Literary Hello all this is the literary section where we here at Generation publish short works by writers on campus. If you have a short story, or a poem, or some combination of the two that you feel would look great in print feel free to submit it by sending work to myself at carltonb@buffalo.edu or to Generation’s email address ubgeneration@gmail.com For this issues submissions, we have two poems from Sophomore English Major, Athira Unni.

The Artist

BLINDNESS

The tycoon’s eyes fell on her, A pretty painting at the corner; It had a magic of its own, It’s beauty matched by none other.

See that light up ahead? Like its shining just for you? In the dark expanse of the sky, But it shines only for a while...

“Your demand is my command”, He said to the Artist, Pointing at the image; And the young Artist sighed.

A quiet colour Moonlight has, Nothing fiery, nothing wild. But on the coast, the tides rise, On pretty Full-moon nights.

“You ask for my soul, sir, I know not how to give it” The man looked surprised, “Why cant she be mine?”

Now imagine being struck blind, Imagine being a moonless night. As you grow old, you form lies That clouds up your inner light.

The lover spoke in agony, “That girl was my light in life But lo ! it was put out and I wept And never saw the light again; Her image now weeps with me, She speaks to me at night, Smiling with grace to me alone, Her eyes twinkling innocently, And I live with the curing wound And the fear of parting once more”

These lies, these clouds, Soft and feeble little whispers Sucking up your vision, Make you feel blind. Back to the basics- then, Back to dreams and fairy-tales, Back to magic and ghosts Back to your childhood, go.

Shaken by the lad’s words, The rich man smiled and In a low voice he spoke, “The light’s never gone.”

Sing, paint and dance Believe you can do it all, Greet the cat with a ‘Meow!’ Love life, for no good reason...

In the corner sat the painting; And as the tycoon left, The Artist felt her gaze, A serene smile on her face.

Don’t the limericks make sense? Doesn’t every story end well? You’d see yourself better now, How far away you’ve run. Blindness was your heavy lossThe loss of your innocence. Lies, fights, crimes, creepsThe loss of your Moonlight. Blow away those clouds, Like a kid blows on a feather. They’ll come again, those clouds, Just softly.. blow them away!

-21-


Parting Shots: “History in the Making” Article By: Paul Stephan

E

arlier this summer, I watched Nik Wallenda tight rope across Niagara Falls. What inspires someone to try this? I have no idea, but it sure was fun to watch.

Fun to watch, except for the television announcers. I guess in the thirty minutes that it takes someone to walk across the Falls, you run out of things to talk about. It’s probably even harder to fill air time when you’ve already been talking for an hour before he even starts. And so instead of the commentators offering anything interesting during Wallenda’s walk, I was instead treated to phrases like “the wet zone” and “history in the making”. Later in the summer I watched the Olympics. That was great, too. I saw enough beach volleyball and synchronized diving to hold me over for another four years. But one day I open up the Buffalo News and guess what? An article titled “Amid History in the Making”. Seriously, stop it. I know, technically any recorded event is “history”, so in that sense saying “history in the making” is accurate. Sorry, but technicalities don’t count. Technically, bananas are herbs and the century didn’t start until 2001. The word “history” should carry the weight of something that’s at least mildly important. I don’t act like every dumb thing I post on Facebook counts as actual, real history. When I take someone’s picture, I don’t yell, “Say cheese, you’re making history!” No offense to Nik Wallenda, but I hope something more substantial happens this year than your trip through the wet zone. I hope my kids and grandkids have something more important to know about the year 2012 than the US medal count. Let’s face it: our lives are painfully ordinary, and very little if anything we do is going to be reflected on for generations to come. We all need to accept that our lives are not historic, and neither are the lives of the temporarily famous people that walk on tight ropes and win gold medals. Sure, your life can be exciting and meaningful and fulfilling, and I hope you make the most out of it, but you’re probably not going to get into a World Civ textbook. The sooner you come to terms with that, the better. Why can’t we just enjoy things for what they are? Watching Nik Wallenda was fun and a little bit terrifying. London’s Opening ceremony was mostly terrifying and a little bit fun. Neither of them were earthshattering events, but I’m glad I saw them. Take things for what they are, and don’t hype everything up to monumental proportions. Whatever you do, stop saying “history in the making”. Thanks.

-22-

Photo Credit: Natalie Cosgrove


The Pool To My Heart How does one begin to define Ryan Lochte? Athlete? Olympian? American?

T

o me, Ryan Lochte is so much more than an Olympic gold medalist; he is a true renaissance man. However, Ryan Lochte would probably disagree with all of us because Ryan doesn’t define himself by values or nationalities. He defines himself solely by “Ryan Lochte”.

always good at was “letting things go through like one ear out the other so to say”. As those delicately articulated words echoed through my head, I knew that was part of what made Ryan so unique, but a part of me still wasn’t satisfied. There had to be more.

My love affair with the 28-year-old swimmer started innocently enough, when he showed his national pride by wearing an American flag themed grill while receiving a gold medal. I soon fell even harder, when he revealed that he had created his own word, “JEAH”. I thought to myself, here is a man who isn’t brought down by the construction and confines of the English language like the rest of us.

Then, out of the blue, I found it, in an interview conducted by NBC during the Beijing Olympics, wonderfully titled “World According Lochte”. Unbeknownst to me, Ryan had always been an artist, and strived to be different than every other artist before him. Going into quite some depth, Ryan described an average art piece, as “I’ll have like fishes jumping through the clouds, or like I’ll have like a raindrop falling that’s turning into a fish which turns into a comet that’s shooting out of like a egg which is like a world. And then it just ya know it just gets crazy like that.”

Once I began watching some of Ryan’s interviews, I soon found myself spiraling down a rabbit hole of infatuation. Ryan was different, he was unique, untainted like the rest of us average folk. He didn’t even limit himself to the confines of basic math times tables. When asked what seven times four was, Ryan strayed from the rest of the pack like the rare unicorn that he is, answering a solemn “21”. I HAD to get to the bottom of how Ryan managed to stay so original and different from everyone else. After hours of searching the Internet, I finally found what made Ryan so special. Ryan revealed that the one thing, other than swimming, that he was

I was caught; hook line and sinker, like one of the “fishes” in Ryan’s drawings. How did Ryan know that I had an affinity for surrealistic artwork that looked like it was drawn by a group of stoned tenth grade boys? In that moment, I knew it we were soul mates. I knew from the Olympic swimming pool sized depths of my heart that “Reezy” and I belonged together. I was drawn to him. The shine from his grill was like a beacon in the night, calling me.

Article By: Laura Borschel -23-


Save the Date!

Sub Board Day

Nov. 7th

Student Union Lobby Clinical Lab WRUB Generation Student Medical Insurance Off-Campus Housing Ticket Office Health Education Pharmacy Legal Assistance

sbi.buffalo.edu


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.