Generation Magazine Volume 27 Issue 3 by Generation Magazine

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Director of Planning and Development student-Wide Judiciary assistant chief student Defender

(must be a UB law student)

applications and resumes can be dropped off in 341 student union generation | 2

features

Jan. 26 - Feb. 8, 2009

CONTENTS

10 | global issues

HELPING HAITI

UB students, faculty and staff—including some native Haitians—are working together to help put the pieces of the disaster-torn nation back together.

10 | regional interest

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

A band of Western New York researchers are chasing ghosts in the night—are they wasting their time?

mailbox Conspiracy Theorist

There has been some talk regarding the ‘re-birth’ of “The Generation”—talk of how the students voice is back; that the grand Phoenix has risen from the ashes. These notions of re-emergence couldn’t be further from the truth. The coming about of the new Generation Magazine is closer to a violent coup d’état or a stabbing on the floor of the Roman Senate. The Generation as we knew it is dead, the student voice sinking along with it. The new publication is not the student voice, nor is it even the parliamentary representation of the student voice. When SBI suspended the old charter and handpicked who would appoint new staff, the student voice died. The new periodical is the student voice in so much as student expression up until it no longer fits the approved outlook of the SBI Junta. A dangerous precedent and a new schema of

operation has been set. If the content is not approved, the charter will be suspended, and the body politic restructured. The new modus operandi is one of mechanistic censorship through institutional reformulation and not open expression through unfettered communication. Brian Borncamp Sophomore philosophy and computer science major borncamp@buffalo.edu

Street Cred Congratulations, new guys! I think you really struck a great balance between the freedom of a college mag, while also keeping students informed. Hopefully people will get over the lack of personals. Truth be told, I always felt pretty awful publishing them, but always did because I thought people would be mad. Glad to see them out; now maybe everyone will pay attention to your hard work instead of bad jokes

about Long Island girls. Best Wishes, Tara Sullivan Generation EIC 2007-2008

Where’s the Comedy? New Generation is way more intelligent than Old Generation. This is bad. I want my stupid funny Generation back, please. Sincerely, Paul Nixon Student Assistant, Administrative Computing pnixon@buffalo.edu

Quick & Easy I would like to see the Personals return. Thanks. UB Rock Climbing climb.ub@gmail.com

(716) 2010-GEN Text or call our anonymous tipline with suggestions or questions for our advice columns. Foward us your texts from last night. If you’re still spinning away at a rotary phone, just call us at 201-0436.

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editor’s letter Comedy & Tragedy

“Comedy can, and should, be used to alleviate the psychological problems that follow a tragedy.”

lmost one year ago, on Feb. 12, Colgan Air Flight 3407 fell into a house in Clarence Center, N.Y., sometime after 10:17 p.m. All 49 people on the plane and one man in the house died that night in one of the worst disasters in Western New York history. I was five miles away from the crash zone at the time of the incident, toiling through overnights at a group home in the area. I started my shift that night by locking all the doors—a ritual I performed every evening. As I entered the sunroom at the back of the house, I heard a plane fly overhead. Its significance was minimal at the time—the house was under a path that many planes traveled along to get to the airport and we were used to being inundated with the roar of jet engines and propeller blades whirring through the sky. Plus, the sunroom was glacial that night, and, at the time at least, I was more concerned with the future of my toes than a passing plane. I wouldn’t recall the sound of that airplane until the next day. I still can’t believe that I failed to put two and two together when a concerned resident came to me and told me that she heard from a friend that a plane had crashed nearby. I didn’t recall the sound of that engine when I turned on the television and watched the reporters’ faces when they learned, for the first time, that 49 people were onboard. When a coworker called me and told me that ABC News wanted student journalists to help with the reporting efforts, I didn’t think to remember that sound. I did the next day. Running on zero hours of sleep, one extra large Tim Horton’s double double and what must have been gallons of adrenaline, I dragged myself to a ramshackle motel in Williamsville to assist several young reporters and producers from ABC cover the tragedy that had erupted just miles away from where I had spent the last 10 hours. As I frantically attempted to contact the family members of the departed, it hit me—I had heard the plane just seconds before it crashed. In fact, I might have been one of the last people on the ground to have heard it before it destroyed the home of three people, the lives of 50, and shocked an entire nation. The surplus of adrenaline in my bloodstream dried up instantly, leaving only cracked and broken muscles and a sick sense of shame. I suddenly didn’t want to be Mr. Intrepid Student Journalist anymore. I didn’t want to be precariously cold-calling people to ask if they knew anyone who had their life

ripped away from them in the crash. I was sick to my stomach and wanted to be home, under my blankets, trying to forget that I had heard the very airplane that I was now ruthlessly chasing—along with the specters of 50 innocent people. But I couldn’t get away. I had come with a team and had no transportation, no means of leaving, and ABC was depending on us to report on the crash accurately and fairly. So I did what many do when they are forced to deal with incomprehensible tragedy—I began to laugh. Comedy and tragedy have walked hand in hand since the days of William Shakespeare—and perhaps long before that. Though Shakespeare never combined the two themes, they were almost interchangeable in many of his plays. What if Juliet had awoken in time? A few quick changes could have transformed an otherwise tragic play into an upbeat, hilarious romp through the lives of two young lovers. More recently, as pundits and commentators argued that comedy as we knew it would end after the 9/11 attacks—that our focus on irony would subside and we’d turn into a more serious and constantly pessimistic people—comedy emerged victorious. Professional comedians didn’t seem to know how to handle themselves at first. But slowly and surely, they made us laugh, often by making jokes alluding to the attacks. In one of Jay Leno’s first monologues after 9/11, he gagged: “America must now protect itself from angry religious extremists… but enough about Jerry Falwell,” prompting great laughter from an unsuspecting crowd. A cartoon at the time depicted a psychologist administering a Rorschach test, featuring a blob that looked distinctively like an airplane. He asked the patient: “What is the first thing you think when you see this?” The patient replied: “Go Amtrak.” Most real psychologists agree that joking after tragedy, and the laughter that follows, is important for a person’s psychological well-being. Several studies have found that laughter and humor reduce the negative effects of stress and people who frequently experience humor reported less mood disturbance to stressful life events than less humor-prone individuals. Laughter also helps with the coping process. Comedy can, and should, be used to allevi-

ate the psychological problems that follow a tragedy. By no means am I arguing that we should start sending care packages of comedians to Haiti instead of food, clothing and water— that would obviously do more harm than good, especially if we accidently ship out someone like Carlos Mencia or Dane Cook. They can do no good anywhere. But humor can be beneficial to the downtrodden and demoralized citizens there. Make no mistake, right now the people need to focus on repairing, rebuilding and just plain surviving, and we need to help them— but they’re going to be dealing with loss, sorrow and a significant amount of trauma caused by finding hidden human remains underneath the wreckage. The psychological damage following this earthquake could prove to be more damaging than the physical. Perhaps it’s terribly naïve of me to suggest that Haiti needs a good laugh. Perhaps it’s a crass idea and I’m out of touch. The country has seen 32 coups, several occupations, racist agendas and countless diseases in the 200 years since its liberation from the French. It’s the poorest country in the Western hemisphere and it’s been thrust into an even deeper turmoil than it’s ever been in. But humans are humans, and the research is out there—laughter breaks down stress and helps us cope. What was I laughing about on that heartbreaking February morning last year? ABC blindly handed the keys of a brand new rental car and a corporate credit card over to me and Stephen Marth, current editor in chief of The Spectrum, to get them pizza and wings from Duff’s. If you know either of us personally, you’ll understand the humor there. Best, Ren LaForme

Editor in Chief

Editorial Staff Editor in Chief Ren LaForme Managing Editor Keeley Sheehan Creative Director Katelynn Padowski Asst. Creative Director Dino Husejnovic Associate Editor Joshua Bach Associate Editor Kathryn Przybyla Associate Editor Melissa Wright Photo Editor Jennifer Peters Circulation Director Abraham C.L. Munson-Ellis ContributingStaff Drew Brigham Jason Davis Scott Patrick Kerrigan Caitlin Kustes Paige Melin Alexandra Pivo Eric Schles

Business Staff Business Manager Elizabeth Caruso Interim Ad Manager Joshua Bach Asst. Ad Manager TBD WE NEVER WHINE ON FACEBOOK. Cover image courtesy of Bill Greene/The Boston Globe. Cover design by Dino Husejnovic. Generation Magazine is owned by SubBoard I, Inc., the student service corporationat the State University of New York at Buffalo. The Sub-Board I, Inc. Board of Directors grants editorial autonomy to the editorial board of Generation. Sub-Board I, Inc. (the publisher) provides funding through mandatory student activity fees and is in no way responsible for the editorial content, editorial structure or editorial policy of the magazine. Editorial and business offices for Generation are located in Suite 315 in the Student Union on North Campus. The telephone numbers are (716) 645-6131 or (716) 645-2674 (FAX). Address mail c/o Room 315 Student Union University at Buffalo, Amherst, NY 14260 Submissions to Generation Magazine should be e- mailed to ubgeneration@gmail. com by 1 p.m. Tuesday, a week before each issue’s publication. This publication and its contents are the property of the students of the State University of New York at Buffalo 2009 by Generation Magazine, all rights reserved. The first 10 copies of Generation Magazine are free. Each additional copy must be approved by the editor in chief. Requests for reprints should be directed to the editor in chief. Generation Magazine neither endorses nor takes responsibility for any claims made by our advertisers. Press run 5,000. We miss Visions.

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agenda

From Paris With Love In theaters Friday, Feb. 5

It may sound like a romantic comedy, but this upcoming action flick directed by Pierre Morel, stars John Travolta, Jonathan Rhys Meyers and lots of explosions. An American spy (Travolta) and a young intelligence operative working in the U.S. Ambassador’s office in Paris (Rhys Meyers), join forces to prevent an upcoming terrorist attack in the city. With plenty of bullets, fights, terrorists, and a bald Travolta, you know it’s going to be entertaining.

UB’s Footsteps of Giants Speaker Series Jan. 29

Check this out from...

JAN 26 to FEB 8

Offering insight from some of UB’s most successful former student leaders, this new series is designed to show how UB alumni are using the community and leadership skills they learned in college to make a difference. Channel 7 news anchor Patrick Taney will share his experience and advice at 5:30 p.m. in 235 Student Union. Admission is free for students.

In the Heights Jan. 26 to Jan. 31 Shea’s Performing Arts Center

Winner of four 2008 Tony Awards including Best Musical, and a Grammy Award for Best Show Album, “In the Heights” is bringing Manhattan’s Washington Heights to Buffalo. The inspiring musical tells the universal story of a community on the brink of change, full of hopes, dreams and pressures, where the biggest struggles can be deciding which traditions you take with you, and which ones you leave behind. The Jan. 27 performance features a post-show Q & A with the cast, the Jan. 28 performance will have a pre-show Salsa class with the cast, and Jan. 29 will feature a post-show Latin dance party. Tickets start at $27.50.

Band of Irish Guards

Jan. 28 Center for the Arts

With music from England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales, the Band of Irish Guards is coming to the Center for the Arts for a sensational performance. The show features pipes, drums, and the Highland Dancers of the Royal Regiment of Scotland. When they aren’t touring, the band’s main duty is to play for the Mounting of The Queen’s Guard at Buckingham Palace, and at state ceremonial occasions. Student tickets are $21.50.

Corinne Bailey Rae - “The Sea” Released Tuesday, Feb. 2

Inspired by the death of her husband, saxophonist Jason Rae, in 2008, Rae’s “The Sea” shows a lot more intimacy, honesty and emotion in her long-awaited second album. A beautiful combination of jazz, pop and soul, “The Sea” proves to be an exceptional follow-up for the Grammy award winning artist.

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snapshot

got a coaching staff that has coached that system. Out of the nine full time coaches, seven of them have coached with me … so it’s going to be a seamless transition for the coaching staff. What would you being doing if your career hadn’t led into coaching college football?

Jeff Quinn You left Cincinnati boasting a pretty good record with 12-0 as an offensive coordinator. Do you think you can carry those numbers over here to Buffalo with this new team? Jeff Quinn: Absolutely. If you look at the body of work I’ve been able to accomplish over the course of my 26 seasons, we’ve been able to do that at the Division II level at Grand Valley State, Central Michigan, when we went there for three seasons, and then obviously it carried over to Cincinnati, and I expect those same results here at Buffalo. Even though you haven’t really had a chance to see them practice, what do you think would be the Bull’s organization’s greatest strength or weakness?

JQ: When you look at the transition of the previous coaching staff [and] myself, I look at the people. The greatest strength is the people and we talk about the RKG’s, finding the right kind of guys that fit what we expect out of our kids and our student athletes here at Buffalo on a day-to-day basis. My vision is to graduate our student athletes with a degree at Buffalo and to win the MAC championship, and that’s what I’m excited about in terms of what I bring and the coaching staff that I have in place. What drew you to football? How did you get started originally?

JQ: I think I would be fishing. Somebody once said I had a disease, a very rare disease, [and] the only cure is constant treatment. But I do have a deep passion for that aspect of my life. I love fishing; it’s just been something I was raised on. Every summer my parents went up to Wisconsin and we stayed in a campground, in a cabin, and we swam and fished and we had fun, and it was just something that was part of my upbringing. So I guess if I wasn’t coaching college football, I’d be fishing. Are you excited to see some Jeff Quinn themed T-shirts for next season?

He’s the new guy in town and he’s got big shoes to fill. We sat down with UB’s new head football coach to learn his hopes and dreams for the program. JQ: I think the most important thing

JQ: It’s interesting because my family, we’re from Chicago, Ill. We’re a big hockey family and when we first started … my older brother was in hockey at an early age. My parents had to come to me after one year and say, ‘We can’t afford two of you in hockey so you’re going to have to find something else, to find another passion in your life,’ and so football was just one of those sports that I gravitated to. I love the contact, I love the way the game is played and obviously I’ve had a lot of success, not only as a coach but as a player. But I also did a little wrestling in my time. I was a 12-year wrestler. I wrestled and competed in football, so that was my background but I still like getting on the ice and skating around. Would you have taken the coaching job with the Buffalo Bills if you’d been offered?

JQ: I couldn’t ask for a better fit for me, being in Buffalo. I’m a guy that has five F’s; I tell people all the time, to know Jeff Quinn, you have to understand there are five priorities in my life, my five passions. It’s my faith, my family, football, fishing, and having fun, and I can accomplish all those things right here in Buffalo. I’m excited about being the head coach here at the university and leading this football program. Are you enjoying the Buffalo winter so far?

JQ: You know, I grew up in the Chicago

area, my parents had a cottage in Wisconsin for 33 years and I lived 18 years in the state of Michigan, so I’ve been in this Great Lakes region and I love it. Somebody once said, well you’re going to move to Buffalo, you’re going to need extra shovels. I said, well I don’t move snow; I drive over it. I use my snowmobile and four-wheeler to go over it, so I’ll fit right in. With your busy schedule have you had a chance to see “Avatar” at all?

JQ: Any movies I’ve been watching have been football players on the field … but the answer would be no, I have not had a chance to see “Avatar,” but when we went down to the Sugar Bowl, that experience down there had a lot of things [that] a lot of people don’t see in the Bowl Championship Series, so our kids were down on Bourbon Street and I think there were a lot of blue people down there. Bill Polian, president of the Indianapolis Colts, described your offense as “up-tempo, exciting and exceptionally productive.” Do you think this can lead us to another bowl game this upcoming season?

JQ: Absolutely. The one thing that I like is a fast-paced offense, and I always tell people, ‘don’t leave your seats because the points may go on the board quicker than you can get back and watch what we do.’ I’m excited about bringing that style of offense here in Buffalo. I’ve

is we draw an excitement around our campus toward this football program and these young men, and anything that’s going to draw that excitement and that passionate enthusiasm for Buffalo is very much welcomed here, so whether it’s T-shirts, whether it’s the Bulls sign, what we want is our students here at Buffalo to be excited and proud about coming out to our football games, and not only here on campus but also off campus.

yet? JQ: I’m buying stock in chicken wings— that has been a table fare of mine. Even though I’ve been “hired on the job,” it’s been very challenging because I’ve had to go down to the American Football Coaches Association and I had to get back to Cincinnati for a night. I’ve been living in a lot of hotels and airports and out of a suitcase, so it’s going to feel really good when the recruiting ends, and we can sign our kids, and we can just really settle down and lock into the Buffalo area. But I’ll tell you, I’ve been over … the Niagara River and I’ve already been to Lake Erie. I haven’t gone as far as the Falls and Ontario, but its just a beautiful, beautiful area that I can continue pursuing my passions in. That’s what’s exciting about Buffalo for me. And we have one final question. Do you have any thoughts on the “Jersey Shore” finale from [Monday] night?

JQ: The “Jersey Shore” finale… Did somebody get punched? Is that what happened? She was dancing by herself… is that the show? OK. It’s amazing, you know, what’s going through people’s minds. But I really was trying to get enough rest, so I could get up and get some sleep, avoid sleep depravation. *laughs*

What is the greatest moment you’ve had in your 26 years of coaching college football?

JQ: All the championships and just seeing how difficult it is to accomplish those goals. I was able to be a part of two national championships at Grand Valley in Division II, I was able to be a part of changing to winning ways at Central Michigan. We had six straight losing seasons there and we were able to win the MAC Championship in our third year, and I was interim head coach at Central. That was the Motor City Bowl, and we won that game. And then going to Cincinnati and winning two back-to-back Big East championships and going undefeated, I mean, it’s not easy to go undefeated, and then being in two BCS bowl games, to the Orange Bowl and the Sugar Bowl. Those experiences and providing those opportunities for these young men is what I’m all about. What has been your favorite thing about Buffalo so far? Have you had a chance to try out our chicken wings

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playlist:

by jason davis Have you ever walked around campus and noticed someone listening to their MP3 player and wondered what they are listening to? For the past week, I stopped random people in the Student Union and asked them the simple question; “What are you listening to right now?” The result is something I like to call, “The Real Life iTunes Shuffle Playlist.” Be warned though, the 20 songs on this playlist below are so random that it might scare you.

1. How Am I Supposed To Live Without You? – Michael Bolton 2. I Saw The Sign – Ace Of Base 3. Best Of Me – The Starting Line 4. Let’s Stay Together – Al Green 5. Knock On Wood – Eric Clapton 6. Roses – Kanye West 7. Party In The U.S.A. – Miley Cyrus 8. Pro Nails feat. Kanye West – Kid Sister 9. Waterfalls – TLC 10. This Love – Maroon 5 11. Eyepatch – De La Soul 12. Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani 13. Two Points Of Honesty – Guster 14. Bye Bye Bye - *NSYNC 15. Juicebox – The Strokes 16. No Letting Go – Wayne Wonder 17. Gin & Juice – Snoop Doggy Dogg 18. Hotel California – The Eagles 19. Straight Up – Paula Abdul 20. Gangsta’s Paradise – Coolio

He Says, She Says An advice column divided by the sexes, starring Alexandra P. & Dino H.

Q: I really like this guy. He’s really cool and caring, but we don’t share the same values. What should I do?

tell me that girls shouldn’t approach guys. Do you guys think it’s OK for me to make the first move?

AP: They say “opposites attract” and “birds of a feather flock together,” so which one is true? Well, that would depend on what type of differences you’re talking about. Fundamental differences can be detrimental to the relationship whereas little ones are fine. Either way, if he’s as wonderful and caring as you say, you two will figure it out. If not, “there are plenty of fish in the sea.”

AP: Listen to your friends. Guys claim that they don’t like games and girls who play hard to get, but really, they do! Guys value what they work for. So next time you’re talking to that cute guy in your class, flirt a lot but make him earn your number! He’ll appreciate it way more that way—trust me.

DH: Nothing! It’s OK to have differences in relationships, as long as they are good differences. For example, good difference: you like Taco Bell and he likes Mighty Taco. Bad difference: you like peanut butter and he likes exposing his privates at the mall. Differences can be great for a relationship, as long as you admire them. If you don’t, there will be serious conflict, and you will be making babies who like to expose their peanut butter-covered privates. Q: I’m a smart, clever, and confident college girl. I just transferred to UB and I see hot guys everywhere. My friends always

DH: This makes me want to say, “Damn girl, you’ve got some guts!” And even though guts are for guys, I can imagine a gut on a smart, clever and confident girl, and I’m kind of digging it. I can imagine some handsome guy drinking his juice box and being like “Dude! I wish girls would hit on me!” Next time you walk down Baldy Walkway and see a gentlemen sipping on his juice box, attack! Q: On dates, I have no clue what to say. AP: One of the easiest ways to make a conversation work is by being a good listener. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and pick out certain things that you can ask them about. If

Politically Charged Love them or hate them, politicians are entertaining, to say the least. We talked to the presidents of both undergraduate political clubs on campus, Jeffrey Poulin from the College Republicans and Kinsey Davidson from the College Democrats, to get their opinions on the issues pressing the American public. Here is what they had to say: Who from your party do you think will be a frontrunner for the 2012 presidential election? Jeffrey Poulin (R): I think that Mitt Romney will be our frontrunner. He’s a very good guy, and he has a track record of winning in blue states while attracting the broad support from moderates and conservatives. Mitt Romney has been active during the campaign “off-season” and has played his cards very well. Even though Mitt Romney has received his share

of criticism from the right, he is generally solid on the important issues, and is willing to break from the party when he thinks that his voice as an independent would serve his state, or the county better. Kinsey Davidson (D): We would wholly support the re-election of President Obama and are confident that he will be our candidate in 2012. Who from the opposing party do you think will be a frontrunner for the 2012 Presidential election? (R): With Barack Obama’s approval ratings floating at around 44 to 50 percent depending on who you ask, the nomination come 2012 is far from settled. His approval rating will most certainly be a factor if people like Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean or even John Kerry decide

they are talking about what they did last night, remember little details, and inquire about them. “You had pizza last night? I’m jealous. By the way, have you been to My Tomato Pie?” See, wasn’t that easy? DH: So how do you like the Buffalo weather? Crappy, right? So what is your major? Ah, sweet! Cool cool. Anyways, my favorite Jamba Juice is Mango-a-go-go. What a stupid na- Hey, hold up! Where you going?! Lesson: don’t bore your prospective lover to death on the first date. Be normal. Make eye contact. Also make sure to break eye contact eventually, or else you will be the staring creep. Be interesting. If you can’t, then make yourself interesting. Learn how to juggle. Wait, no. Learn how to juggle blenders filled with mangos and ice and start your own mango smoothie business. And please, please don’t charge $5 for a cup of ice with mangos. Not cool, dudes! Q: I’ve been dating a guy for 4 months and everything was going fine until he suddenly wouldn’t return my calls. It’s been 36 hours since we last talked! How should I handle it?

to take a second shot to become president. That being said, it is truly hard to see Democrats, who have called Barack Obama’s election the most significant in 70 years, backing anyone but him. (D): Sarah Palin will likely consider a run, but she really is just a joke, even to most of her own party. Freshman club member Andrew Stebbins mentioned John Thune, Republican senator from South Dakota. He has the best chance among Republicans to defeat President Obama and of course, party leaders recognize this... in a sense, he is their “Obama,” young, charismatic, smart. Others have mentioned Mike Huckabee, Tim Pawlenty and Mitt Romney. Or, according to our co-communications director, Leland Murphy, Satan himself may make a run for the Republican Party (I’m sure he was kidding). Should President Obama have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize after being in office less than nine months? (R): As much as I do believe that

AP: When we do something, we usually have a good reason. He probably does too. Try to figure out what is going inside his head. I usually don’t recommend stalking Facebook or other social feeds, but please do! Check his Facebook for suspicious activity, or Twitter for unusual tweets. If he suddenly started playing Café World or retweeting @taylorswift13, then you may rest your case. DH: Ah you’re that type. I was once with a girl who I assumed was normal in the head. She expected me to call or text her back within half an hour, no matter what. I could have been saving little children from a burning school bus, and I would’ve had to leave poor Billy waiting for me while she told me to pick up a Cosmo from Wegmans. One time I didn’t return her call for two hours. She went ape shit on me, accusing me of purposely hurting her, making all these insane circumstances where I was a cheater and an asshole. That was the day my cell phone battery died. Got a pressing personal or academic question? E-mail it to ubgeneration@gmail.com or text it to 716-2010GEN. Sound answers are not guaranteed.

American presidents do have the power to affect great change in the world, as we have seen time and time again, it’s truly difficult to understand what would compel someone to nominate Barack Obama for the Prize mere days after his inauguration. Giving Barack Obama the Nobel Peace Prize for the “potential” that he showed is certainly admirable, but given the enormous sacrifices of some around the world and in America, who are currently giving great deals to make our world a better place, it is hard to imagine that they could not find someone who has done more than Barack Obama. (D): We would have liked to see our president get this award in a few more years when his campaign promises have had a chance to come to fruition. What we would like to point out is that President Obama had no idea he was getting this award. He did not nominate himself or campaign for it. He was as shocked as we were, so stop acting like it’s his fault.

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edible material

A slice of Buffalo’s best: gluten-free style Eat: My Tomato Pie 3085 Sheridan Drive Amherst, NY Walking in, nothing really pops out at first— there’s the usual table setup, with a bar in the front, a hostess right at the door. But something feels right—the décor and details, with wallpaper mimicking filled kitchen shelves, leather booths bringing you back to a ’50s diner or an old family dining room. Minus the out-of-context music, My Tomato Pie is an inviting, unique experience.

The service is unbeatable. The staff is friendly and a server is there to take your drink order within seconds of sitting down, offering you everything from imported Italian wine and beer to soda and juice. If you’re torn between two mouthwatering menu items, no worries, because the friendly staff is always willing to give you advice about their favorite dish in the house. The wait time was nothing to complain about and worth every second. The restaurant offers salads made with the freshest greens, homemade specialty pizzas and desserts, pastas and calzones, sandwiches ranging from pitas to panini to wraps, and make-your-own gluten-free pizza. They

offer over 30 toppings for your pizza, tailored to whatever kind of pizza your palate is craving. The pricing is reasonable, especially for such a great meal, ranging from $7 to $15, typical of a casual dining establishment. My Tomato Pie is well worth the short trip from home or campus, discovering why its been called “Buffalo’s Best Pizza.” And if you don’t feel like leaving your house and missing the new episode of “Jersey Shore,” making gluten-free pizza at home is simple, easy and delicious.

supplement these deficiencies by eating more fruits and vegetables. If you aren’t into fresh produce, you could be causing yourself more harm in the long run. It’s expensive and isn’t the tastiest thing you’ll eat. If you ask someone who eats a gluten-free diet, they will most likely tell you that unless you have to go gluten-free, don’t do it. Gluten-free breads are not as chewy as regular bread and gluten-free pasta has a very gummy consistency compared to regular pasta. Be prepared to spend double what you would on regular bread and pasta, too.

Make: Gluten-free pizza

Ingredients needed: 1—package Bob’s Red Mill gluten-free pizza crust mix 1—3/4 cup warm water 2 eggs 2—tbsp olive oil 1—packet of yeast (included with the pizza crust mix)

Learn: Gluten-free food is not another weight loss frenzy, but food for those with an intolerance to most wheat-containing foods or those suffering from celiac disease, an autoimmune disorder that causes an inflammatory reaction in the small intestine upon eating foods containing gluten. Gluten is a type of protein found in rice, wheat and barley, but not in things like corn, oats, quinoa, wild rice, and buckwheat. Gluten can be removed from wheat flour, resulting in wheat starch. Don’t go on a gluten free diet because you think it’s healthier. In fact, gluten-free foods are often deprived of vital nutrients, which are often added to enriched wheat flour. Gluten-free products were created to address the needs of individuals suffering from a wheat allergy or celiac disease. The disease’s inflammatory reaction to gluten can damage the small intestine and prevent proper absorption of vitamins and nutrients. Symptoms of celiac disease include diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, unexplained weight loss, fatigue, and anemia. If you think you may have celiac disease, contact your doctor to get a proper diagnosis. Before you cut gluten from your diet, there are a few things you should know: Going “gluten-free” often means adding foods to your diet. Because enriched wheat flour provides us with many nutrients, gluten-free diets often require you to

Toppings: 1—2-cup package of shredded pizza cheese 1—15 oz. can of gluten-free pizza sauce (like Contadina or Classico) 1—package of Margherita sliced pepperoni Grated Parmesan Red pepper flakes Toppings of your choice Directions: In a large mixing bowl, combine the warm water and yeast. Slowly blend in the eggs, one at a time, and the olive oil, using a whisk to beat it briefly. Add the pizza mix and use a beater to beat on medium speed for about one minute. Cover and allow the dough to rise for 20 minutes. Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Roll the dough into the desired shape and size to fit a greased pan, and bake for seven to nine minutes without toppings. Remove from the oven. Spread the desired amount of sauce on the crust and top with cheese and pepperoni (as well as any additional toppings). Place the pizza back in the oven and bake for an additional 12 to 15 minutes or until crust and/or cheese begins to turn golden brown. Remove it from the oven and allow it to cool. Sprinkle with grated Parmesan and red pepper flakes for taste. Enjoy! Review and recipe by Joshua Bach. Nutrition information by Elizabeth Caruso.

generation | 9

bits & bytes tech of the decade By Paige Melin

ask a geek My mother’s Windows computer at home is really slow and sluggish. Do you have any suggestions to speed it up for her to make it usable? My first words of advice are to uninstall the 50 toolbars that plague your outdated version of Internet Explorer—you do not need that many toolbars to search the Web. On a more serious note, if the computer takes an unusually long time to boot up and surfing the Internet is becoming increasingly unstable and slower than molasses in January, you may want to weigh your options. First, I would recommend reinstalling the entire operating system. If this does not solve the problems infecting your mother’s computer, investing in a new, more powerful and cost-effective computer may be your best option. An initial $300 or $400 investment could provide your mother with a top-of-the-line pornviewing and n00b-pwning experience. If your mother’s computer is already a newer machine, I would suggest running a virus scan. There are several free programs, such as Avast! or AVG, that work great. Once those malicious invaders are taken care of, the next step is to stay on top of updates, via Windows Update, to ensure the operating system is up to snuff. Written by Drew Brigham, senior Computer Science major

The last decade has seen phenomenal jumps in technology—grabbing a cell phone, iPod or laptop on the way out the door has become routine in today’s tech-savvy society. These goto gadgets have evolved in leaps and bounds over the last decade, leaving some to look back nostalgically at the Game Boys of yore, and leaving even more to wonder what’s next. The iPod was one of the most memorable pieces of technology from the last decade. “The iPod is one of the most important things in my life,” says Victoria Fuentes, a freshman psychology major. “It’s easy to use, convenient and stylish.” People like to have their music with them, and a sleek iPod is so much more convenient than a boom box or a Walkman. “I remember in middle school when everyone had their CD player and giant case of CDs,” says Katie Carlett, a senior psychology major. “It was more convenient to have everything in one place.” “In the last ten years you went from a big box to something small and compact. All the technology from previous years went into one combination of things,” says Charlie Nassor, a junior pre-med major. The music technology scene has undoubtedly made huge advances in the last decade and a half. CDR burners barely existed in 1996. The

social suicide

by Joshua Bach

The psychedelic ’70s brought us “Grease” and “Star Wars,”—not to mention roller derby and Easy-Bake Ovens. We ushered in the ’80s with MTV and “Sixteen Candles,” along with a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit while rocking our hair-crimped heads to Madonna. The ’90s enticed us with chat rooms, Beanie Babies and Harry Potter. The 2000s brought a hodge-podge of bits and pieces—iPods, Uggs, YouTube, EBay… and Facebook. The 21st Century has focused it’s direction on new technology—cell phones, computers, music players, HD televisions—taking its focus off of traditional forms of entertainment. Facebook, founded by Mark Zuckerberg and his college roommates, was originally only open

primitive MP3 player was only just coming out around 1998. But they quickly evolved into the flashy modern iPod that is familiar today. Modern, app-ridden cell phones have seen ever-increasing popularity. “A lot of [college students] have Blackberries. They keep people entertained when they have nothing better to do, and there’s many different apps for each person’s entertainment,” says Andrew Yip, a sophomore electrical engineering major. “They’re very ubiquitous. It’s a portable, smaller, multi-use tool,” says Josh Zotter, civil engineering senior. “There’s phones with so many features—it’s not even a phone anymore,” says Desmond Te’, a sophomore business major. Though they seem commonplace now, many can’t overstate the value of a laptop. “I always take it to class. There’s so much you can do, and it keeps you connected,” says Megan Walsh, a sophomore speech and hearing major. “The laptop is convenient for school, and you can’t go a week without being on Facebook,” says Dan Starr, a sophomore business major. Other popular technology of the last decade included the Internet—Google launched in 1999—Bluetooth, and social networking, lookat-me sites like Twitter and Facebook, according to ZDNet UK. Today’s technology is much more advanced than when most UB students were younger, to college students. The site gradually expanded to include everyone from high school students to your parents. Mindless, non-engaging activities slowly but surely began to plague the site. Facebook now has over 350 million active users, and the average user spends at least 55 minutes a day on the site. More than 65 percent of those users access Facebook from their mobile phone. A University of Ohio study found that those students who use Facebook have lower GPAs than those who do not. Inside Facebook, a company that provides news and market research to Facebook users, performed a tracking study, finding that the total number of minutes on Facebook increased by 699 percent from April 2008 (1,735,698 minutes) to April 2009 (13,872,640 minutes). One thing seems to account for this 699 percent increase: games. Users can play with Farmville, Mafia Wars, Restaurant City, Yoville, Bejeweled Blitz… not to mention all the other applications

and many remember the first time they had the Internet in their homes. The Internet “just opened up so many possibilities,” says Melanie Stein, a sophomore environmental engineering major. “I remember getting the Internet for the first time in our house, around ’95 or ’96, the old dial-up style,” says Cari Moneco, a sophomore history major. Game Boy and Nintendo are also old childhood faves. “They’re pretty nostalgic,” Yip says. “The 1990s was the decade of video games.” The Game Boy was definitely the “It” tech of the ‘90s—60 million copies of Game Boy had been sold by 1997, making it one of Nintendo’s best investments, according to Nintendo Wiki. But the future of technology makes some students a little apprehensive. Some believe that green technology will become more popular, as long as it’s reasonably priced, and that the growth of technology will certainly be beneficial. “I definitely think our dependence on foreign oil will decrease,” Starr says. Others have a more cynical outlook. “Eventually we’re all going to have chips in our bodies,” says Jen Mirok, a senior history major. “They tend to throw a lot more [features] onto technology. There’s more but is it all useful?” Zotter says. “Technology is an unrecognized addiction,” says Faith Scazzero, a freshman management major. “It’s impersonal. What happened to calling your friend to say ‘happy birthday’? Technology is consuming the minds of America.”

available to find your IQ, discover your “Lover of the Day,” or even raise your own virtual fish. But be careful—leave them unattended for too long and, just like real fish, you’ll find them floating at the top of your virtual fish tank. Some users seem to be replacing their real lives with virtual replications, leading them to forego “real people time,” and paving the way for society to dig the hole to social ineptness and dysfunction deeper and deeper. Bethany Torres, a sophomore political science major, agrees, and she posted a “goodbye” status on her Facebook. “To all of my awesome friends... so it has finally happened to me—or rather I am finally admitting it! I am addicted to Facebook!! Alas— I have joined the ranks of the diligent farmers, determined treasure hunters, groovy avatars, zookeepers, amusement park owners, and even magic school dwellers. Woefully and tearfully I realize the truth—this cannot go on! Borrowing from the wisdom of my fellow addicts, I have decided to say goodbye to Facebook in favor of my chemistry and biology books. This semester is important and I know that I will constantly distract myself if I allow this to continue. And so, like my fellow students before me, I have entrusted my good friend Tina with my password, she has changed it, and will safe guard my alternate reality until summer. So if you would like to get a hold of me… well do not try it through Facebook!!! Until May 2010—goodbye!!!!”

generation | 10

the fashion page

Alphabetical Style

dential office. And movie buffs cannot get enough of the new Coco Chanel biopic starring Audrey Tautou. Très chic.

From old Hollywood glamour to fashion forward avant-garde, the runways have given us some great trends to work with this season. This is your fashion dictionary for the semester. When it doubt, use it as a resource for what’s in, where to draw inspiration, and how to pull off a killer look. It’s time to take a break from the usual Ugg boots and a North Face and take over campus in style.

Gold nail polish. The stock market may be going down, but gold is on an upward trend. The frontrunner of all the metallic paint for your fingers, gold is close to taking over for red as a new classic color.

By Kathryn Przybyla

Au naturale makeup. Say goodbye to the smoky eye and hello to fresh-faced makeup. It’s time to tone down heavy eyeliner and accept the fact that less is more. Clean and simple looks have stolen the show.

Bows. Thrown on headbands, dresses, belts, and shoes, this childhood accessory has made an instant comeback. Not only acceptable for preschoolers anymore, bows have been embraced by college students and young professionals.

–Charlotte Ronson. Her spring 2010 ready-to-wear collection has been described as “off-duty ballerina meets downtown.” With lots of soft pink and leatherstudded details, this collection really flaunts the good-girl-gone-bad style.

Drapey tops. Long and loose is the look for these comfortable alternatives. Buttondown blouses are casual and sophisticated, while draped cardigans are taking over for cropped sweaters.

Emilio Pucci. The underwater and beach trends were gorgeous in Emilio Pucci’s readyto-wear collection for spring 2010. Liquid-inspired prints and long flowing fabrics were reminiscent of waves down the runway.

French chic. France’s first lady, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, has become a Parisian icon with styles never before seen in a presi-

G H

High-asthe-sky heels. Girls have rocked heels since the beginning of fashion history, but more recently, celebrities and designers alike have gone even higher. Platform pumps and unique shapes have made super high heels a formal staple.

Incredibly revealing. It maybe a little risqué, but seethrough tops and lingerie-inspired shirts were all over the runways this season. Paired discreetly with appropriate layers, these eyecatching tops can be completely acceptable daywear.

Jeweled everything. Everyone can be drenched in diamonds this season with lots of jeweled accents on clothes and accessories. Layered rhinestone necklaces, dropped chandelier earrings, and mismatched stones on dresses can make any outfit shine.

Kenzo. Combinations of blues, browns and beiges were a hit in Kenzo’s spring 2010 ready-to-wear collection. The desert explorer theme was apparent with loose fits and extra strappy sandals. Lady Gaga. The Madonna of our generation, Lady Gaga has taken avantgarde to a whole new level. Not only is she influencing people with diamond-studded masks and barely-there outfits, designers are producing entire collections around her style.

Menswear. Trouser pants are not just for the boys anymore. With the explosion of menswearinspired looks, girls can rock the tailored vests and leather jackets like never before. Plus they look great with sultry black leather boots.

Not so skinny pants. Skinny jeans may never leave our closets, but tapered pants are going to make a trendy splash. Often tighter around the calves and looser at the waist, these bottoms are a refreshing change.

Over-the-top headbands. The simple black headband has lost its relevancy. Nowadays, everyone is rocking feathers, tulle, and flowery pieces on their head. Paired with simple outfits, anyone can get away with this look.

amazing. Instead of being stuck with a box-shaped coat, a defined waist will complement any figure.

Target’s designer lines. This is God’s gift for all fashion lovers on a budget. Not many of us can afford Anna Sui and Rodarte straight off the runway. Luckily, Target has joined forces with many highend designers to create affordable style for the everyday woman.

United Bamboo. Designers Miho Aoki and Thuy Pham showcased floral inspirations and tea-length hemlines in their spring 2010 ready-to-wear collection. Wrapped waist dresses and bottoms also made a statement.

Va-va-voom hair. Dramatic hair can be your new fashion accessory this season. Beautiful braids can be tiny and strategically placed or loose and free. Or you can try a wavy blow out all wrapped up in a messy knot.

“Project Runway.” Every girl wants to be Heidi Klum, but the closest most of us will get is watching her on Lifetime. The show is not only a fashion boot camp for aspiring designers; it does a good job of showcasing new trends.

Worthy neutrals. Amidst all the crazy patterns and colors is a breath of neutral fresh air. Colors like beige, off-white, soft pink, and tan have made a great impact on fashion choices. Having a balanced closet of colors is important.

Quirky prints. Animal prints are gone and crazy prints are in. Asymmetrical patterns and mixed prints are all over blouses and dresses this season. Don’t be afraid to combine a few pieces together—just keep the bottoms neutral.

Xtreme McQueen. Alexander McQueen made a huge statement with his crazy armadillo shoes in his spring 2010 ready-to-wear collection. Some models even refused to walk in these monstrous pumps. You can catch them in Lady Gaga’s videos.

Zippered-up dresses. The inside-out look to these exposed zipper dresses made fashionistas weary at first, but now many cannot get enough. Adding the smallest detail, like a flashy zipper, to a simple black dress makes it look like you’re wearing a one-of-a-kind.

Red lips. Old Hollywood will never go out of style. Marilyn Monroe made red lips sexy and classic. To add a little bit of confidence to your look, forgo the clear gloss and vamp it up with red lips.

Structured jackets. Almost everything looks better when you add some structure to it. Jackets with more seams and defined lines can really make your figure look

Yellow. No color makes a person happier than the color yellow. Usually saved for small accents or accessories, it is now completely acceptable and encouraged to rock a bright yellow jacket or pants. The more color the better.

generation | 11

By Ren LaForme

Faults and Sins

Haiti is no stranger to tragedy. Generation takes a look at the impoverished nation through the eyes of the Haitian people.

od is not responsible for the devastation in Haiti. God is not to blame for the country’s 32 political coups, its slavery-stained history or its title as the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere. In fact, according to Pierre Fouche, the people of Haiti hold God close to their hearts—even as the devil’s face of destruction greets them at every corner. “My people are a very strong and resolute people,” he says, clearly offended by televangelist Pat Robertson’s allusion that Haiti made a deal with the devil for freedom from France in the early 1800s. “My people believe in God and are true believers. Last Sunday, they were having services on the ruins of the churches. They were having services despite what happened. They were attending masses. This is saying something—that my people believe in God.” Fouche, 32, has devoted his life to his country. He’s working on his doctorate in earthquake engineering at UB’s MCEER, the Multidisciplinary Center in Earthquake Engineering Research. His goal: to learn as much about earthquakes and engineering for natural disasters as possible—and then take that knowledge back to his native Haiti to benefit its people. Fouche’s timing is tragic in Shakespearian proportions. He’s one of the few Haitians who are acquiring the skills necessary to develop buildings to protect the nation from an earthquake’s forces and is just shy of obtaining his Ph.D. But Fouche was unable to help his country before a magnitude 7.0 Mw earthquake destroyed Haiti’s capital of Port-au-Prince and the surrounding communities, and took the lives of over 80,000 of his countrymen on

rified by the news about her family’s country. “On Wednesday morning, when I watched the news and actually saw what was happening I was like ‘oh my gosh,’” she says. “My mom was trying to reach everyone. They had no reception. The cell phone towers went down in the earthquake.” Gourdet, whose parents are both Haitian immigrants, says that her uncle was nearly killed by the earthquake when the dirt road he was walking on began to collapse. “Basically the road split in half and one leg was on both sides of the split,” she says. “He said God saved him that day because he was right in the middle.”

The People are Patient

Jan. 12. Fouche was at his house in the University Heights when he first heard the news. His first thoughts went toward his family. “I was upset because I didn’t know how my family was doing. I could not reach them. I spent the night trying to reach them and it was impossible,” he says. Fouche wouldn’t breathe his first moments of relief until the next day, when he was able to contact his sister in Florida and found that none of his family was injured. “Their house didn’t collapse, but in that moment everyone was shaken, both physically because of the motion of the earthquake and emotionally because of what

had happened,” he says. When Fouche surveyed the destruction on his television, his mind went to the people of Haiti. “I wondered how many people had died because the first picture I saw was that dust cloud over the city, and when you have that you know there is major, major destruction,” Fouche says; sorrow spilling from his lungs as he speaks. “The buildings had pancaked—one floor fell on the lower floor and you have this domino effect and the entire structure is underground.” Meanwhile in New York City, Vannah Gourdet, a sophomore who recently transferred from UB to SUNY Queens, was hor-

Gourdet eventually learned that her family endured the disaster, though many others were not so lucky. The Haitian government estimates that between 100,000 and 150,000 people perished since Jan. 12—but the United Nations has said that due to a breakdown in government facilities such as hospitals and morgues, the world may never learn the exact number of lives lost. The process is complicated by the fact that rescuers were still pulling people out of the rubble over a week after the incident. Against all odds, a young boy named Kiki was pulled from the rubble on Jan. 21 after spending nine days trapped under debris. The number of injured is significantly higher than the number of dead, with many placing the figure in the hundreds of thousands. Sadly, that number continues to shrink due to the breakdown in medical services in the nation—many Haitians

From the sky...

Haiti recieves supplies via airdrop on Jan. 18. Some have criticised this method—saying that it creates a “survival of the fittest” mentality.

generation | 12

simply cannot find help for their injuries and illnesses. Ophelia Dahl from Partners in Health estimates that “… as many as 20,000 people will die each day that would have been saved by surgery.” Many Haitians, already disillusioned from years of neglectful government and poverty, now feel absolutely hopeless, Gourdet says. Even with aid streaming into the country from the sky and the sea, many have failed to find food and clean water. “My uncle called explaining his struggle to find food and water in Kafoo. He said there are still bodies everywhere and the people are burning them to get rid of them, since there is nowhere to bury them. The stench of their decaying flesh is unbearable,” she says. “Waney, PétionVille. Those places didn’t even receive aid yet. And they’ve been there how long? A week? They’ve received no food, no water. The people can’t get to Port-au-Prince. The roads are blocked anyway.” Gourdet expressed dismay about the relief efforts so far. “I feel if they really wanted to they could have landed in other places and set up shop there instead of just dropping food to cause more chaos. The people are hurting each other for food; they are killing each other for food—and on the news they’re making them look like animals. The people are starving … I think anyone would do the same—they’re just trying to help their families.” Fouche finds fault in the media’s coverage of the event. Instead of focusing on finding ways to help the people and showing images of the heroism unfolding on the island, the news is focusing on the violence, the looting and the maiming—which he says is limited. “Most people are incredibly courageous and are waiting. Not everyone is stealing and looting like they are showing on TV— this is just for the news,” he says. “The majority of the population are just waiting for someone to come to help them. They are just waiting.”

imposed by the government. “Nobody was giving anyone any type of warnings [about building codes]. They were doing everything they wanted to do. Most of the buildings were not fit to withstand earthquakes. Many of those buildings were not designed by engineers or architects. The people sometimes go ahead and build the houses themselves. They are not designed to any code.” Fouche says that even when an architect designs a building in Haiti, it is generally not build to withstand an earthquake, and often can barely handle the load that a normal building should be able to withstand. “[Sometimes] they can’t handle the gravity load, the weight of the building and the furniture inside of them,” he says. “The buildings were designed only for vertical loading, when you have lateral loading they will simply collapse; they were not designed to handle that type of load.” Haiti’s emergency structures are no different, according to Filiatrault. “Haiti’s emergency buildings—those that need to stay functional after a disaster, such as hospitals, fire stations, communications towers—were not built to more stringent standards as they are in other countries,” Filiatrault says. They too came crashing down when the tremors sent the land into convulsions, leaving the sick, injured and dying with no place to go and nowhere to turn. “The Haitians have a saying that felt particularly raw under the onslaught of last year’s hurricanes: that Haitian houses can ‘fool the sun but not the rain’,” says Patricia Polowy, a clinical instructor at UB’s School of Nursing. “But there is no such resigned saying about earthquakes to provide what cold comfort it might, as there is no precedent for an earthquake of the January 12th magnitude.”

Shallow Shakes

The Storm Before the Calm

Haiti teeters on a fault line called the Enriquillo-Plantain Garden Fault. The fault runs from Jamaica to the island of Hispaniola, which Haiti shares with the Dominican Republic, and is responsible for the creation of the islands. The rock is generally sturdy—it moved 20 millimeters east last year—but the surrounding plates have been slowly pushing against the fault since the last major quake in 1760. The plates tend to move less than major faults, such as the ones found under California, but when they do move, they push with exponentially more force. On Jan. 12, the fault finally allowed the plates to slip, creating a 7.0 Mw magnitude earthquake just six miles under the earth. Shallow earthquakes equate to more devastation. “This was a shallow earthquake … so the seismic waves didn’t have time to attenuate before they reached the surface and that causes a lot of damaging shaking,” says Dr. Andre Filiatrault, director of MCEER. “It happened close to a major city with a lot of buildings that are not engineered, mostly they are made of unreinforced masonry or poorly constructed reinforced concrete, prime candidates for damage.” The earthquake proved to be so destructive, Fouche says, due to a lack of standards

Polowy is afraid for the people of Haiti. She’s traveled there eight times before with a medical team to provide basic health care and health education, so she’s familiar with Haiti’s health problems, and she fears that they will grow significantly worse after the earthquake. Polowy is especially apprehensive about people who have crush injuries caused by falling debris—they are at high risk of infections that could be life threatening. She’s also concerned about the water supply. “The water supply has always been an issue, so clean water availability and distribution will be very key to a successful rebuilding,” she says. “And there will probably be outbreaks of things that are water-related.” Dr. Richard V. Lee, a professor of medicine, pediatrics, obstetrics, and social and preventive medicine at UB, has seen the health problems now emerging in Haiti before, by studying other tragedies around the world. “There is a pattern of health problems that inevitably follow a natural disaster such as Haiti’s earthquake, the Indian Ocean tsunami and Hurricane Katrina,”

Continued on page 19

generation | 13

ghostbusters

By Keeley Sheehan

Western New York paranormal researchers look for answers in the creepiest of places.

aranormal investigators aren’t afraid of ghosts. “I wouldn’t say that we are ever frightened. I can say that you can be caught off guard and that can be quite unsettling,” says Alison Remson. Remson, from North Tonawanda, along with Heather Kraemer of Wheatfield, founded PRONE—Paranormal Researchers of Niagara and Erie—in August 2008 to investigate things that go bump in the night. “It’s only natural to be afraid of what you can’t explain, but as an investigator, you have to remain calm and professional. We are seeking ‘it’ out,” Remson says of the difference between clients experiencing weird phenomenon and the investigators they call upon. “They usually run away from what they are experiencing, where as we run towards it.” Remson, 31, and Kraemer, 34, established PRONE in August 2008, from what Remson calls a “mutual desire to investigate the paranormal.” She and Kraemer were independently seeking to get involved with paranormal research groups in the area, but decided to form their own group to develop their own investigation process. “PRONE grew from a genuine desire to help people feel comfortable in their homes and to understand what they may be experiencing,” Remson says. Cheryl Stevens, 39, Amherst; Kathy Marion, 54, Hamburg; Mike Gajewski, 44, Lancaster; and Rob Gallitto, 23, North Tonawanda later joined the group. Most of PRONE’s members have had experiences with what they believe to be paranormal activity, either before working with the organization or since becoming involved in investigations. “My earliest memory of what I would describe as paranormal would be when I was about 5 or 6 years old. I believe that this was when I witnessed a full body apparition,” Kraemer says on PRONE’s Web site. “Since then I have encountered numerous other unexplainable experiences. As I got older I needed more concrete evidence to prove what I experienced. It was no longer enough to think I saw something or allow my sense to tell me things weren’t right.” “We don’t discount anyone’s personal experiences, but as a scientific research group, we try to back up claims, even our own, with as much scientific proof as we can,” Remson says. “Out of the numerous investigations we’ve completed, we have had some unexplained things happen.” PRONE, a non-profit organization that

doesn’t charge for its services, carries out home investigations, but has also conducted them in hotels, museums, historical sites and public buildings in Western New York, Pennsylvania and Canada. “We will go anywhere that we feel warrants an investigation,” Remson says. They’ve done investigations at sites like the USS Sullivan, the Buffalo Central Terminal, and the Iron Island Museum. The USS Sullivan resides in the Buffalo Naval Park. Some say the ghost of George Sullivan wanders the docks, looking for his four brothers who perished along with him when a Japanese submarine sank the ship they were stationed on in World War II, sending all five brothers to a watery grave. Dark figures and disembodied voices slip through the hallways of Buffalo’s old 19th century rail station, and the Iron Island Museum on East Lovejoy Street now houses area artifacts, but was once a funeral home—the perfect place for beyondthe-grave gatherings. And plenty of Western New York ghosts still make house calls. At the Van Horn Mansion in Newfane, N.Y., built by James Van Horn in 1823, haunting is a family affair. There aren’t many accounts of the life or death of James’s wife, Malinda, though there are plenty of accounts of her afterlife. Her tombstone now lays nestled in the grass on the grounds, “…Malinda sleep; sleep … where flowers bloom” carved in stone, while the seasons change forever around the spot—the final resting place of a girl who died during childbirth 10 days after her 21st birthday. She lay alongside the rest of the Van Horn family as members passed on, until all the graves were moved to a Lockport, N.Y. cemetery—except Malinda’s. Her tombstone had been found in an old carriage house on the property when the Newfane Historical Society took ownership of the mansion in 1987, but Malinda lay abandoned. For years the young forgotten Van Horn girl had haunted visitors and passersby. They saw her figure looking out across the mansion from a front window, or swerved to avoid hitting the girl dashing from the mansion out into the road during the night, only to watch as she disappeared, or noticed her face in the corner of the home’s mirrors, or heard her tapping lightly on the walls. She quietly watched her family’s home, while seeming to whisper, ‘remember me.’

generation | 14

Then a few years ago, with the help of some interested community members and a few astute dogs, Malinda’s remains were found and her tombstone re-installed. And no one, they say, has seen her since. PRONE considers itself to be a scientific, research-focused group, employing a variety of equipment to collect data during investigations, such as a digital recorder to capture electronic voice phenomenon, or EVP. “This is basically capturing a voice on tape that you did not hear with your ears at the time of the investigation,” Remson says. The group also uses a K2 meter and EMF detector to measure electromagnetic fields within the immediate environment. “The common theory in testing the electromagnetic fields is that a ghost needs energy to manifest. Therefore these devices help to document the fluctuations within a given area. We have documented spikes in the EMF in direct correlation with paranormal activity,” Remson says. But the group leaves the Ouija Board at home, relying on the scientific method instead of psychics. “In using mediums or psychics, it is nearly impossible to back up their experiences with actual scientific data,” Remson says. “There are some cases that may require the services of a medium, at which point we would make a referral to one that we know to be reputable in the field.” Common “paranormal” experiences include feelings of uneasiness or instability in certain areas of the home, visual effects like strange lights or mist, or banging, pounding, or hissing noises. But many of these have logical explanations, according to PRONE’s Web site, and could be caused by any number of things, from uneven floorboards to bad plumbing. “A lot of people want to believe they have something paranormal going on for whatever reason, but many times things that happen have logical explanations,” Remson says. “We don’t discount anyone’s personal experiences, but as a scientific research group, we try to back up claims, even our own, with as much scientific proof as we can.” Ed Beck, co-founder of the UB Freethinkers, doesn’t believe in ghosts. “Based on a lack of evidence. It’s never, ever, ever been proven. Yet,” he says. “I’ve had all sorts of those weird things, that experience between sleep and wak-

ing up. You appreciate that these people are seeing something, they have this experience but they can’t explain it. It doesn’t mean it’s paranormal, it just means they can’t explain it.” Beck draws a distinction between objective investigation and skeptical investigation. “Objective can be different than being truly skeptical and not being afraid to leave things unexplained. You can be objective in the way you collect your data but you have to be skeptical in they way you use that data.” That an experience defies “logical” reasoning does not lead directly to a paranormal explanation. Beeba Kanwal, a senior cultural anthropology major, has started investigating elements of spiritualism and paranormal activity for a research project. This, combined with personal experiences, leads Kanwal to believe in the possibility of the paranormal. “In the past when I was little, I had experiences that would border on paranormal activity. I would say it was a spirit or an angel, that feeling of having someone helping me,” she says. “I would say yes, there is something there, but I want to see someone research it.” As she sat in room by herself once when she was younger, she had a sudden feeling of the spiritual sort, and saw something out of the corner of her eye, standing near her—a white presence of

having him there to help her, though he was still alive and in India at the time— he passed away just two years ago. The idea of paranormal activity can’t and shouldn’t be limited to ghosts, she says, and could encompass people from the past, present and future, not just those who have died. “I feel like there are spirits around us. Our minds and sight can’t perceive ev-

“It’s possible people can experience things that they don’t experience day to day. It’s believing there’s something more to our reality than what we’re experiencing now.” - Beeba Kanwal, senior cultural anthropology major some sort, though she couldn’t say exactly what. She believes it’s possible that she was experiencing the presence of man closely connected to her family and faith, a man who acted as sort of a godfather figure, who had opened an interfaith institute in India, and was revered by many to have spiritual powers within him and to have reached a state of enlightenment. “[He and my family] were deeply connected at a spiritual level,” Kanwal says. She believes she was experiencing some sort of connection with him, a feeling of

erything around us. Our consciousness is a very small percentage of what we use,” she says. “Skeptics would say it’s biological or something to do with your eyes but that makes people research.” Kanwal sees it as a combination of science and spiritualism. “Paranormal research is bridging the gap between the two,” Kanwal says. “It’s possible people can experience things that they don’t experience day to day. It’s believing there’s something more to our reality than what we’re experiencing now.” But paranormal research also reflects

a sort of paradox of the supernatural, Beck says. The paranormal is thought to be outside the realm of the natural world, but if research is able to prove the existence of the paranormal, it enters the natural realm—inside our world and understanding rather than apart from it. “If it really is supernatural or paranormal, that means it’s outside the natural world so it could not affect the physical, natural world, just by definition,” Beck says. There will always be those who denounce the possibility of the paranormal, Remson says. “We could present them with the best piece of evidence, but they will always find a way to explain it away,” Remson says, adding that for some, the possibility of the paranormal may just be too frightening to consider. And still, there are questions Remson and PRONE believe are worth trying to answer. “Don’t we all want to know what happens when you pass away? What comes next, if anything? Can you make contact with loved ones who have passed on? Aren’t questions like these parts of the human experience? Isn’t there value in that?” Remson asks. “For us there is—we do this work to try to uncover answers to our questions about existence as well as prove or disprove that paranormal activity exists around us.”

generation | 15

What would you do if you woke up tomorrow as the opposite gender? Bryan Funk Senior Business “I’d wonder if I had dementia and forgot I had a sex change” Christina Grunzweig Senior Marketing and Business

“I’d reap the benefits of being a guy, I’d be loud and not worry about my hair. That would be nice.”

Tyler Whiting Senior Media Studies

“I’d go out and buy a pink crotch rocket or sports car and roll around town as fast as possible. But I think I’d do that as a guy too.”

Jenna Dunlay Freshman Theatre “Go back to sleep for 15 minutes, not shower and go to class like a guy would.”

Lowell Deutschlander Junior Architecture “I would feel myself up, have some sex and use my feminine wiles to get things for free.” Thomas Seary Senior Media Studies “I would probably freak out, be worried, have a panic attack and say whhhhatt is going on here?!” Kiera Craven Junior Legal Studies “What just happened?”

Korey Kustes Junior Psychology “I’d have a lingerie party with all my girlfriends!”

generation | 16

By Caitlin Kustes

blueprint

nickel city

When in Buffalo, carpe diem

The Nickel City was first settled as a small trading village in 1789, owned by the land investment corporation, the Holland Land Company. Buffalo faced devastating times over the next two decades with the burning of the city during the War of 1812, later regaining strength and popularity when the Erie Canal was completed in 1825. It transformed from “village” to “city” in 1832, leading to plenty of history over the next 100 years—an industrial boom, the Pan-Am Exposition, the assassination of President William McKinley, and one of the country’s largest city halls. Today, many of these notable accomplishments are national historical landmarks that have become a destination for history-craving Buffalonians.

The Albright-Knox Art Gallery 1285 Elmwood Ave. Monday through Saturday: noon to 5 p.m., Friday: noon to 10 p.m. Admission: $12

Theodore Roosevelt Inaugural Site 641 Delaware Ave. Hourly tours start at 9:30 a.m. on weekdays, and 12:30 p.m. on weekends. The last tour begins at 3:30 p.m. Admission: $7 with a student ID

The Broadway Market 999 Broadway Ave. Monday through Saturday from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Admission: free

Buffalo gained national acclaim in 1901 by hosting the Pan-American Exposition, and also as the location of the assassination of President William McKinley. On Sept. 6, 1901, McKinley attended “President’s Day” at the Temple of Music—an architectural wonder of Buffalo demolished shortly after the Expo—and while shaking hands with a line of supporters, Leon Czolgosz approached the president with what seemed to be a bandage-wrapped hand. Czolgosz shot McKinley with a revolver concealed under his “wound dressings.” McKinley died six days after the shooting. Vice President Theodore Roosevelt would take his place as the nation’s 26th president, after a makeshift inauguration in Buffalo at the Wilcox Mansion. Today, the mansion is newly renovated, and highlights the presidency of the great Teddy Roosevelt with special events and guided historical tours.

The Broadway Market, established in 1888 by a group of vendors, in an area of about 90,000 square feet, highlights the mix of cultures that defines Buffalo. It’s known for its family-owned stands with fresh fruit, vegetables, baked goods, and meats, and a variety of delicacies from all over the world—wines and cheeses, and handcrafted décor like vases, dinnerware and clothing. The Easter season is the market’s most popular time of the year, when people flock to the market for it’s “old world” feel and to get their butter lamb—butter… in the shape of a lamb… it’s a Buffalo thing.

by Joshua Bach

The Albright-Knox was one of the first public art institutions in the U.S. Today the gallery features pieces ranging from impressionistic to surrealism, from abstract to pop art. The gallery has shown the works of all the greats; Vincent van Gogh, Pablo Picasso, Henri Matisse, Andy Warhol. The gallery offers a number of interactive learning opportunities for people of all ages, like guided tours, an in-house artist, and “Gusto at the Gallery” Fridays, with free admission from 3 p.m. to 10 p.m. Everyone can broaden their knowledge of Buffalo’s diverse art scene, enjoying dinner or a drink at Muse, the gallery’s cocktail lounge. The U.S. Postal Service will roll out their new commemorative expressionist paintings stamps on March 11—four are a part of the AlbrightKnox’s permanent collection.

Buffalo City Hall 65 Niagara Square Admission: free Built during the 1920s and ’30s Art Deco period, City Hall is one of the largest city halls in the nation. The building was completed in November 1931, and was modeled after the styles of the newly erected Chrysler Building and Rockefeller Center—screaming innovation at the time. The building’s design used the power of nature to harness many energy and money-saving techniques. The placement of vents on the posterior side of the building replaced a conventional air conditioning system, using the wind coming off of Lake Erie as a cooling system. The building also has an observation deck 360 feet from the ground, giving visitors a complete—and free—view of the city and across Lake Erie.

Forest Lawn Cemetery 1411 Delaware Ave. Admission: Varies depending on event Forest Lawn Cemetery, built in 1849, covers over 269 acres and is the final resting place of more than 152,000 people, including historical figures like 13th president Millard Fillmore. Modeled after the Père-Lachais, the world’s most famous cemetery in Paris, Forest Lawn was designed during the industrial revolution with Buffalo’s booming population in mind. Designer Charles E. Clarke wanted the cemetery to serve the needs of the dead— and the living. Today, the cemetery is filled with a forest of history, with statutes and mausoleums built by some of the past’s most famous architects, including Buffalo native Frank Lloyd Wright. The layout of the cemetery and the scenery that surrounds it is astonishing and attracts people from all over the country. “Sunday in the Cemetery” offers tours from June to September.

generation | 17

campus & region T-shirt wars in a city of love By Melissa Wright “I do not <3 Buffalo,” Tony Maggiotto laughs as he sits in the back of his 830 Elmwood Ave. store, stationed across from his biggest competitor, Plum Pudding, and their sponsored I <3 Buffalo T-shirt line. Maggiotto does in fact love Buffalo—it was his love of the city that inspired him to start his own Buffalo themed T-shirt company; CityLove Clothing, in July 2007. “Back when I started the business there were only a few Buffalo-related T-shirt businesses in the city. Now there are 11 or 12,” Maggiotto says with an implicating smile. Coincidence? Perhaps. “I can’t say whether my business inspired other businesses, but I can say that just because we’re in the T-shirt business, does not mean this isn’t a dog-eat-dog world,” he says. Early in his entrepreneurial career, Maggiotto reached out to several locally producing print makers and T-shirt designers who had only previously sold their shirts

online. Maggiotto offered to sell the designers’ shirts in his store, thinking everyone would benefit from the partnership. His customers would experience a wider selection and his new partners would sell more shirts in a great location. “Literally overnight, business partners became business enemies,” Maggiotto says vehemently with his palms touching. His competitors across the way e-mailed all the known names in the industry and offered to, more or less, buy them out. Maggiotto was the only “nay,” saying he is “living the non-sellout struggle.” Maggiotto started CityLove Clothing to fill a recognizable void within the community. “There really weren’t enough options for men and I wanted to offer a variety of T-shirts with creative, original designs that showcased the history, art and beauty of the city,” he says. Maggiotto has creatively directed designs on President McKinley’s final days. A Canisius alumnus, Maggiotto first gained experience in his field making

print screen T-shirts for college students. Yet his intentions were never dead-set on remaining in the clothing business. “I always intended on doing something positive for the city; it just happens to be a wonderful coincidence that I ended up starting my own T-shirt business,” he says. The president of his undergraduate class, Maggiotto always sensed that one day he would work as a public servant, and his business is just one avenue through which to promote the city. While the company is founded on the love common to the City of Good Neighbors, Maggiotto is also a business man and not modest about his status in the industry. “T-shirt printing is one of the most common start-up businesses in America. I’m not doing anything that hasn’t been done before. I’m just doing it better,” he says. “I didn’t set out to sell the most Buffalo T-shirts. I set out to create the best Buffalo T-shirts and I’ve accomplished that.” Maggiotto also wants his store to be a community cross-section. He wants to share his connections and Buffalo networks with his customers. “Anyone can sell pizza. Anyone can sell candy bars. Anyone can sell T-shirts. I want people to buy into my role as a Buffalo ambassador,” he says. Looking at the stats, Maggiotto does have credibility—he’s worked with more artists, his designs are original and primarily hand drawn, and because his designs are printed on American Apparel shirts, he can guarantee quality and comfort. “I don’t make T-shirts to wear twice a year when the Bills come to town. I’m not making a shirt you wear with a painted face. I make T-shirts that you want to wear every day,” he says, and he’s equally critical of areas that need improving, like his online presence. “For 2010, I need to channel all the passion into real exponential growth. At the end of the day, I’m ready, because I know I have the best shirts, so the question is, ‘How do I duke it out?’” Maggiotto sings along to “On to the Next One,” as WBLK plays in the background. He laughs ironically to himself. “I don’t even want to be mentioned in the same breath as I <3 Buffalo. My goal is to be mentioned in the same breath as those that inspired me—the Michael Margolis’s who are invested in this city; their work shows that investment,” Maggiotto says. “Most of my competitors don’t even live in Buffalo. One lives in Austin, Texas. And that’s why I know that if I keep doing what I’m doing on the creative side, they can’t ever catch up— because they don’t love the city as much as I do.”

Remembering Nicholas Orrange April 20, 1987 to Jan. 14, 2010

May the road rise up to meet you, May the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, And the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand. -Traditional Gaelic blessing Nicholas Orrange, a senior at the University at Buffalo who served as the Special Interest Service and Hobbies coordinator for the undergraduate Student Association, was tragically killed at the age of 22 in a one-car accident. Orrange’s ‘98 Pontiac collided with a retaining wall at the intersection of Harlem Road and Sheridan Drive at approximately 1:30 a.m. He was pronounced dead at the scene. Orrange was involved in a variety of clubs at the University at Buffalo, especially the College Democrats, where he formerly served as president. The undergradute Student Association is selling yellow wristbands in memory of Orrange, with all proceeds benefitting his alma mater, St. Joseph’s Collegiate Institute. The writbands are available from 350 Student Union. Generation Magazine would like to bid a sorrowful farewell to our friend, our coworker and our brother. Nick Orrange, you will be missed by all at UB.

generation | 18

Continued from page 13

Lee says. “The pattern begins with the injuries and psychological trauma that occur— and need care. When that care is not available infectious disease and psychological problems develop and multiply.” Initially, the people of Haiti will face problems related to “failed logistical support”— those without medical care, safe water, food, and shelter. The few days after that will be deceptively quiet in terms of medical problems, he says, because the infectious diseases that are spreading take three or more days to appear. However, diarrhea, typhoid, cholera, gangrene of wounds, and Postpartum infections will soon emerge as major issues, and patients with diabetes, heart disease, and renal disease will begin to develop complications. People who require drugs, such as HIV/AIDS and tuberculosis sufferers, will begin to miss medications and will fall ill. Hepatitis A and Hepatitis B will emerge between two and six weeks after the disaster, and Lee expects to see much worse. “I expect that the next six weeks will see issues with amputations because of Gangrenous injuries; obstetrical deaths— some unexplainable; and outbreaks of diarrheal disease,” he says. Many people are choosing to sleep outside—the country has shuddered through at least 33 aftershocks and weakened structures are toppling as a result, and experts are advising Haitians to stay outdoors—but this leads to further complications, according to Lee. “If there is a surge in mosquito breeding and activity, the incidence of mosquitotransmitted infections will begin—malaria and dengue fever in particular,” he says. Lee expects to see several outbreaks of malaria in the weeks to come.

A New Direction

Through all of the plight and hardship, the death and destruction, and the continued corruption, Fouche sees a light shining for Haiti’s future. “Because of what has happened, this is a tragedy, but there is something that comes with it,” he says. “There is a possibility to build things differently. By trying to reconstruct the country, there is a possibility to have real economic development.” The rebuilding efforts can help the country twofold, Fouche says. The labors will create construction jobs, financial investment jobs and more available to impoverished Haitians. Banks can provide Haitians with low cost loans so they can buy new houses or build their own houses, depending on their financial means. And when it comes time to build these new structures, Fouche hopes to use his earthquake engineering knowledge to construct a sturdier infrastructure. “[Haiti must] come up with integrated engineering solutions that perform well in every type of hazard, so that solutions can be both economical and structurally safe,” he says. But none of this can happen if the people of Haiti are struggling to survive. “The next step right now is to bring help to the people. This is still being done but we cannot put emphasis enough on that aspect—that the people need help right now,” Fouche says. Relief efforts across the globe exploded after news of the earthquake spread. There are hundreds of charities and non-profit organi-

zations accepting money, clothing and supplies to give to the Haitian people. But not all charities are created equal. Just days after the incident, the FBI reported that it was investigating a fraudulent charitable organization related to Haiti. They’ve since issued a statement warning donors to ignore spam e-mails that request donations and to be skeptical if someone claiming to be a survivor contacts them and asks for money.

“There is a possibility to build things differently.” - Pierre Fouche

“Exploiting a person’s emotions for profit is really sick, especially after a tragedy such as this one,” Gourdet says. The FBI encourages people to stick to wellknown charitable organizations. Fouche encourages all who are able to send money and donations to the Red Cross, the Clinton Bush Haiti Fund, and Haitian-born musician Wyclef Jean’s foundation: Yéle Haiti. At the University at Buffalo, staff and students are hastening to help the stricken country. Several offices—including Student Life, the Center for Student Leadership & Community Engagement, the Intercultural & Diversity Center, and the Undergraduate Student Association—are collecting donations benefitting the American Red Cross Haiti Relief and Development Fund. Campus Dining & Shops customers may also round up their purchase to the nearest dollar, with all proceeds going to the organization. Undergraduate Student Association President Ernesto Alvarado said that there are fishbowls at club events and at each office where students can drop money. The group plans to tally the money up and send the Red Cross one large check in several weeks. In addition, Alvarado is planning Hoops for Haiti—a basketball tournament benefitting the Red Cross. Alvarado is also reviewing the possibility of a relief concert with a musician or comedian. Filiatrault, the MCEER director, left for Haiti on Jan. 21 to help decide which of Haiti’s which structures—especially emergency buildings—are safe to use. “We are going to Haiti at a time when the need for skilled, French-speaking engineers is dire,” Filiatrault says. “A key piece of the recovery process depends on assessing the physical safety of critical infrastructure.” Samarth Joseph, a Haitian Ph.D. candidate in UB’s Department of Geography, returned to her home in a trip funded by donations from UB faculty, staff and students, to assist her family and to issue solar cookers to residents. Fouche hopes to complete his Ph.D. and travel back to Haiti, where many are undoubtedly welcoming his homecoming. “Some people have said before … this is not a curse, it is a natural disaster and could happen in any other place that these conditions existed,” he says. “This is very sad for me and is something that is very… I don’t know. Whenever I’m thinking of that, I cannot even fathom the destruction and how many lives were lost.”

generation | 19

literary State of the Reading Address By Scott Patrick Kerrigan

By Eric Schles

The American Drug

n light of the upcoming State of the Union Address, I would like to make an address to the affairs on the state of reading. First, an anecdote. It was a new decade, the first day of classes. The professor began to explain one of the textbooks—just published this year, hot off the “sexy underground,” if you will (or if the editors of this publication will). He held up a copy with both hands. It was wrapped in plastic. The author dug his thumb into a loose corner of the plastic, slipped the hardcover out and announced, “The great thing about a new book,” he cracked it open to an arbitrary middle, looked down, brought his nose to the crease, and from that spine, consumed the vapors of ink and acid still fresh with his words. Now, this prompted many things, laughter being the first. No doubt, once my copy arrived today, I performed a similar sacred ritual to share (privately) in this effervescent experience; it was distinctly chemical. However, being fully aware in a moment of sensory engagement with a book, its smells new or old, its touch slick or tough, its appearance “sparkly” or faded is something to be cherished—the intimacies between you and the book. Which brings me to Kindle and its other RoboBook twittering misfit brethren. If you can’t spill coffee on it and still be able to read to the end (and of course, to look back lovingly at the chance beauty blot outlined in the edges of the page) without having any malfunctions then it is NOT a book. Books are about sharing secrets. The intimacies exchanged between the

book and oneself is the atomic level of this mutual exchange. There are the more surface dimensions such as criticism, conversation, and lending (friends and libraries are some institutions in long standing worth mentioning). But this atomic level of reading is often perceived as being done “alone,” and this perception ignores the fundamental core of engaging in a gift economy, a radical communion and interplay with a text. When that new atomic companion is cold to the touch, has no smell, and whirs and hums and burbles, the pangs of loss might make themselves felt. This is what you get with the Kindle. Contrary to what the name suggests, it may not prove the best fireside accompaniment. Who wants a lover (I mean, book) that is so finicky as to overheat? At least a book burns bright. And who wants to get intimate with a book while thousands of others could be watching in bits and bytes in the alleys of the machine? Speaking of voyeurism, another loathsome issue in the state of reading today concerns a certain American author’s personal teenage vampire fantasy. I won’t say much directly about it, since I’ve read reports of twihards stabbing detractors with sharpened pencils on high school campuses, and fear for my life. But the book has had an empire built around its words. On a flight last semester, I sat next to a businesswoman in a pantsuit gripping her copy of one of the sequels, reading feverishly, literally ravishing the thing. No caresses, no drawing in air hoping for something sweet. Perhaps this is the key to the hype and literary empire building: follow the path of raping and pillaging all the way to the seat of power. Even our current

president, an author himself, veritably launched his campaign off the fervor of his second book, “The Audacity of Hope.” Or, if you’re Sarah Palin, and victorious political conquest is unachievable, then there’s always the sycophant memoir—the literary equivalent of showering napalm on a village of illiterate folks. Sometimes it feels like it is not enough to make a living as a writer anymore, because so many are making a killing. And while the mobs force themselves on books in order to swoon at a sex offender vampire courting a preco-

cious teenage girl, the real vampires are sucking you for your dollars, to make you desire to participate joyously in the uniformity of the state in place of the subversive, intimate role that a trifle like a book can play. In sum, the Kindle is not bringing sexy back. Go home and get it on with a book, whatever it may be, and discover its secrets. Beware: don’t be seduced by the lust of jingoism. Only love can withstand the torrential force of the empire of words.

It’s time. It’s time to stop saying “people would be better if”, it’s time to be better. We can hate. We can freak out. We can go crazy. Or, we can do something different. I am not proposing we drop out. I am not proposing we run away. I am merely proposing we start to let go. Stay, exactly where you are. Live your life exactly they way you would. But do it without enslaving those around you. Let the control go. I am not talking about standard of living. I am not talking about salaries. I am talking about changing how we are, not for the good of the American people, but for the good of every thing alive today. America is a beautiful place. However, America’s government does terrible, horrible things to preserve that feeling of happiness. I am saying, I do not believe it’s worth it. I do not hate freedom. I do not

hate capitalism or democracy. I hate loneliness. I hate constant fear. I hate depression. These are all bi-products of our way of life. To me, any system with these side effects aren’t worth it. It’s like taking pills. The drugs all have side effects. I do not take drugs, because side effects are unacceptable to me. Capitalism is a drug. Democracy is a drug. It’s great, most of the time, but there are side effects. Like ecoli in our beef. Like depression and obesity in our youth. Like diabetes in our parents. Like sloth and apathy. Like godlessness. Like things where religion is a bad thing, where science is the only way. I’m not saying I hate who we are. I’m saying I cannot accept the enslavement of other species, the slaughter of millions, or the paranoia that comes with being a world power.

I want the America that never was. The America that truly believed in freedom of beliefs. A country where the government is for the people, not for the lobbyists. A country where truly every way of life is accepted. Where it’s about the interest of the group and the individual, not just the individual. Smith is dead, his ideas are brilliant, but imperfect. Nash isn’t even enough. We need something more complete. Something that will guide us to a world where every nation is free to choose and America doesn’t say, trade with us or die. I don’t want a world where everything is the same. Brainwashing is something you choose to not see. Whether you know it or not, it is happening to you right now. It is happening to all of us. You have to open your eyes. No one else can.

generation | 20

Can You Guess What’s Fiction? You just can’t make some of this shit up.

Character 1

Heh heh. So cut the onions up. Look, if you cut the onions and I eat the onions, I’ll love ya because we both smell like onions. Did you hear me? Hey, we’ll both smell like onions, so I’ll still love ya. You cut the onions, I eat the onions. we’ll both smell like onions! Did you hear me?!?

Character 3

[Pacing back and forth holding a bible in his hand] Let Jesus save you. Faith in Jesus is all it takes. It’s not religion. It’s Jesus that will save you. Not Buddha or Zeus, but Jesus Christ. Stop trying to do it on your own. Stop trying to do it on your own! Everyone received presents this year? Yeah, at Christmas time. Did you receive a present? No? God has a present for all of us. Have you opened the package yet? Have you opened the present and let Jesus into your heart?

Character 5

[Mumbling quietly] Do you like the Flintstones? Eat the vitamins? Tell your mom I want to borrow her car. Tell her I am going to take that f*#kin’ car. What are you looking at?

Text 716-2010-GEN with your guesses

by Melissa Wright

Character 2

I met a girl at the gym on Tuesday who was into Jungian psychology, claimed she could talk to dead people, etc. and believed in subconscious therapy and worked as a psychic therapist. I was feeling kinda crazy after talking to her so I went to a session. She knew stuff she couldn’t have known. Like Gertrude, remember Gertrude? My grandpa’s . . .yeah. [Impersonating therapist girl] ‘I’m getting a Jerry or a Ger- something G and t—an older woman you knew, kind of mean? She isn’t happy with the way she lived her life. Wishes she was kinder to your grandfather.’ Melinda, the girl, said that Gertrude was relegated to the earthly realm and couldn’t join the light yet.

Character 4

[Waiting for the bus, hopping to try to stay warm] Shit it’s cold. And its only just begun. Where the hell’s the bus? Look at that girl—where’s her hat? Her ears are pink for Christ’s sake. You know what I find irritating? When people get up on their tippy toes and look for the bus coming. It’ll get here. You standing there hopping up to see the bus over passing SUVs ain’t gonna make it come any quicker. What do you wanna watch it come all the way down? [Impersonating a girl with a shrill voice] ‘Oh boy!’ Here it comes. It’s getting closer and closer and closer and closer. Oh goodness! It’s almost here!’

Character 6

You ever hear of Allen Hall? I am Allen Hall. You’re a special girl. Did you know that you have cat eyes? Katrina? Kat? Kitty? [Trying to job her memory] Can you read people’s minds? Have ESP? I think you were part of the experiment, weren’t you? [Nods, starring contently] Yeah. The experiment to mix cat DNA with human DNA to improve night vision and allow people to read minds. No. I can read your thought lines. You don’t remember.

generation | 21

parting shots

For your consideration…

Kathyrn Przybla

’ve always wanted to win an Academy Award. While technically I am not an actress and I do not direct major motion pictures, I still have the desire to walk the red carpet and name drop who I’m wearing at some point in my life. And now that award season is in full effect and LA starlets are getting dolled up for the press, I will be plotting a way to get invited. It all began last summer while I was at an entertainment conference in LA. Determined to make the best of my first time on the West Coast, I devised a plan—I would absorb as much as I could while among the rich and famous. I felt like Miley Cyrus

after hopping off the plane at LAX. I arrived the day before the conference to explore, and decided to get the “tourist” out of my system, taking a bus to Hollywood for a few hours—best decision of my life. I was a little bummed out to see the infamous Hollywood Boulevard completely blocked off, but this turned out to be a good thing. A long line of people had formed across the street, and being the curious person that I am, I decided to get in line, too. An hour later I discovered this was a line for people who won a local radio station contest, winning the chance to line the red carpet for the LA premiere of “Bruno.” It was surreal standing next to celebrities and cameras from E! and Access Hollywood, soaking in the complete Hollywood experience. From that weekend on, I have wanted to be on the other side of the velvet rope. So many people are involved in making these premieres and award shows a success—who says I can’t be a part of it? After weighing the possibilities, I feel I’m left with three options to try to get into the Academy Awards. I can write a heartwarming indie flick with hopes of an underdog nomination, like “500 Days of Summer.” I hear quirky romantic com-

edies with small release approval are the way to go. Then again, I can always present an award while simultaneously plugging my new movie as an up-and-coming actress, like Amanda Seyfried. Working in an office last semester gave me a lot of experience in opening sealed envelopes. Or finally, I can become so incredibly famous that they invite me to award shows regardless of whether I’m nominated, like Tom Hanks. Luckily, I have always tried to be optimistic in my less-than-Hollywood life; so trying to achieve the impossible is at the top of my to-do list. Speaking of lists, the one list I cannot wait to get on—besides the guest list of course—is the best-dressed list. Oh, the honor of wearing one of the most exquisite and expensive dresses of the year, while working hand-in-hand with stylists ready to drench me in diamonds... Is this what they call fashion heaven? I would love to wear my favorite color blue for my first awards show. And since I’m already a professional at walking and running in heels, balance training in four-inch platforms won’t be necessary. But all the glitz and glam aside, one of the reasons any of us tune in to the Oscars

is for the memorable acceptance speeches. I have always been a supporter of the first-time nominee—the one person in the category who cannot believe they were nominated, even though they’re sitting with Meryl Streep and the Jolie-Pitt family for dinner. Those are the best speeches. They’re from the heart, totally unscripted and full of emotion. I won’t hold back on an overdone “surprised face,” but this is where I can compromise. Not only will I be prepared with a condensed “thank you” list, I will finish that acceptance speech well before the cut-off music starts to play. You’re welcome, high paying advertisers. My dream to win an Academy Award one day may seem farfetched, but that won’t discourage me from doing something great. Some might see it as superficial, but I am fascinated with stories and the people who create them. These actors, writers and producers are what make these stories visually come to life. I hope to one day earn my swag bag and create a story that touches people’s lives, just like Oscar winning performances do. Some people aspire to be doctors and some aspire to be lawyers. I don’t see anything wrong with aspiring to rock Manolo’s down the red carpet in a Versace gown.

pastries and philanthropy

shouldn’t be allowed out on the Internet. This isn’t for legal, moral or religious reasons. It’s more for my own good. As I sat at home pondering what to write about for my column this week (World peace? Tuition hikes? Nah.), I found myself returning to the World Wide Web again and again like metal to a magnetic field. That’s when it dawned on me… Well, that’s when a few things dawned on me. One, I have a problem with procrastination. Two, the Internet is awesome. Now settle down. I know I’m not talking about anything revolutionary. As students, we’ve grown up around the Internet. We shuffled into computer labs in middle school, circumnavigating our way around administration-administered firewalls to log into MySpace, which was still in its infancy. We tried to use Wikipedia as a reference in 11th grade history class, even though we knew it was more than likely edited by someone with

little to no knowledge of the Berlin Airlift. We still try that on occasion. That’s not what I’m getting at. My point is that the Internet has been around for quite a bit now. And sure, it’s done us well. You know… the world at your fingertips, a wealth of information and whatnot. But nowadays, people tend to focus more on the perils of the Internet. Yes, if you can think of it, there’s a type of porn about it (and they have it on video). Yes, scammers are stealing identities through phishing. Yes, people are using Web sites to orchestrate violence and spread hate. There’s still a lot of good out there though, in all shapes and sizes. Enter reddit.com, a social aggregate news community. I’ve been a loyal lurker on the site for several years now, but it’s still a love-hate relationship for me. I love the opinionated discussions, hate the whole “groupthink” thing they sometimes fall victim to. Love the fresh take on news and events, hate the fact that I’m pretty

sure I’ve seen every lolcat picture there is. But in light of the recent tragedy affecting Haiti, I’ve found another thing to love about reddit, and the Internet as a whole. In just seven days after the tragedy unfolded, this Web community donated over $145,000 to Direct Relief International to help with the earthquake’s aftermath—all of the money coming from a small band of users who typically spend the majority of their time Rickrolling innocent bystanders and dissecting the latest Apple rumors. It’s happened before to a smaller degree, like when reddit users donated $8,000 to a member who was going through a rough time financially, or when they banded together to help jumpstart a fledgling soap company. But this time they decided “we ought to do more than just change our logo.” And they did just that. They made a significant contribution to an extremely worthwhile cause. I think that’s pretty awesome, and it certainly says a lot about what immense good

Katelynn Padowski can come out of the Internet… you know, other than the five different cupcake recipes I also got out of my evening on the Interwebz.

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