Gentleman's Purpose eMagazine - December 2022

Gentleman’s Purpose Articles

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Meekness, is NOT Weakness.

Written by Justin Neil Gaynor

When it comes to maturing as a man, I cannot encourage you enough to seek a good mentor. A good mentor will help you realize things about yourself that you were either completely unaware of, or that you conveniently try to pretend are non-issues. Mentors will do this most vividly through their own behavior, as well as the words they speak into your heart. If the person you choose as your mentor is mature in their humanity, you will find that they are extremely gentle in their approach, and yet their impact will have a transformative influence in your life that will be as powerful as dynamite was in shaping Mount Rushmore.

The mistake we often make is thinking that a gentle person lacks power. Please understand that meekness is not weakness, it is extreme levels of power under wise stewardship and control. When I was first starting my career as a financial professional working in the stock and bond markets, I worked for a gentleman that had tons of experience in the stock market having worked on a trade desk at the NYSE.

To this little country bumpkin from Central Florida, this fast talking, f-bomb spewing, sharper than a razor, New Yorker was a little shocking. My level of respect for him was very high and this was all new to me, and as with all things, you become like what you behold. It wasn’t long before I was living out my boss’s sayings. “Justin, when the shit hits the fan, that’s when we are at our best!”… “Fast and accurate, we don’t have room for mistakes in this business”… “F$@& them, this is what you gotta do!”. Not only did I become extremely fast and accurate as well as develop a mindset that instantly puts on armor and sharpens focus when the market went crazy, or some piece of our technology crashed and the phones were ringing off the hooks, but I picked up the lingo and the attitude as well.

After a few years, I had to transfer to a new branch with a different boss in order to begin my full-time career in the stock market. Shortly after passing my exams to get licensed as a stockbroker, I was moved to yet another branch. One of the top branches in the country. My new boss was the polar opposite of my first boss. He was a man from Georgia with a long, slow southern draw that cut his teeth in the brokerage business selling penny stocks before he came to this firm and took on a branch manager position. This guy was like the Zen master. Customers would literally be freaking out at his desk, screaming and cussing. There would be a client at every other desk. The phones would

be ringing off the hooks constantly and he would calmly, thoroughly, peacefully handle each situation as it came to him. People would cuss him to his face and he wouldn’t blink an eye. He wouldn’t revile them back at all. He just did the next right thing. Whatever was necessary to resolve the situation without ever uttering one obscenity, in public or private. Never speaking evil of anyone.

He got onto me about my language. Not before he got to know me though. He knew the path I had taken with the company, and my previous boss. My first week he said, “Aye, Justin, you play golf?”. I responded, “No, not really.”

“You do now”, came his reply. “We have a charity tournament this weekend and I need a fourth, you’re in. It’s a scramble. Very easy. You’ll do fine and it’ll be fun”.

“Ok”, I said.

That was the beginning of a long, transformative friendship. I soon found out that he was a Christian. He invited me to play softball in a church men’s league. That didn’t last long. I’ve never been a huge fan of playing baseball. Mostly because I always got stuck in the outfield where there wasn’t much action.

Slowly and surely though, you become like what you behold. My language became more civil. My temper mellowed. My ability to be fast and accurate, to not make mistakes, to be war ready at all times was supplemented with patience, a positive attitude, and what I can only describe as all-round solid southern hospitality. All the “power” I had developed in my profession was slowly brought under control and began to be wielded much more effectively.

While I am thankful for every one of my bosses and the things that I learned from them, what I learned from this gentleman from Georgia contributed, I believe most significantly, to me advancing rapidly into a branch manager position with the firm. One of the youngest in the company’s history.

Jesus tells us, “Blessed are the meek (gentle), for they shall inherit the earth.” I have found this to be true in my experience.

The Place of Constructive Criticism in Close Relationships

Written by Justin Neil Gaynor

One of the most challenging things about relationships is communication. That’s probably why we talk about it so much here in the pages of Gentleman’s Purpose eMagazine. While all areas of communication need to be paid attention to, evaluated, and tested to make sure communication actually happened, the area of communication that encompasses offering feedback is one of the more challenging. This is true in our generation far more than it ever has been in the past.

With the advent of post-modern thought where everyone has their own personal “truth” that they speak (but very inconsistently adhere to themselves), offering constructive criticism in a way that proves fruitful is increasingly difficult. Yet, as gentlemen that want to see those around us grow and mature in a way that benefits society in the immediate and long term, we must take up that pastoral, and sometimes prophetic, role.

I recently heard Chris Pratt, an actor in “Jurassic World”, speak at the MTV Movie and TV awards. He used this platform to proclaim God’s love and the fact that the people telling this generation that they are perfect just they way they are, well, they are liars. Everyone is quite imperfect. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. So, it is only by grace that we are saved, and that salvation was paid for by someone else’s blood, namely the blood of God’s only Son, Jesus.

That statement really cut a lot of people who genuinely believed that they were perfect just as they were. Their personal “truth” just got powerfully confronted by the actual Truth on one of the biggest, most public platforms for the younger generation. King Solomon of Israel wrote this, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

Therefore, every criticism we receive, we must not react defensively, rather, take pause, put to death the inclination to be offended, and consider if there is any truth to the what the person said. Thank the person for offering feedback, and if it makes sense, invite them to help you understand more fully how you might make any desired changes. If it is a friend, they will be happy to help you. If the person was just an accuser, you will have agreed with them quickly and disarmed their assault in obedience to Christ’s command in handling such scenarios.

CHRISTMAS PARTY ATTIRE

Written by Justin Neil Gaynor

CHRISTMAS IS HERE!!! Time to bust out the ugly Christmas sweaters, get ready for all the holiday office parties, and look for ways to spread the cheer without exhausting your bank accounts, or credit cards. As we head into the season though, here are some thoughts on what to wear to the holiday celebrations.

The Black-Tie Affair

Certain holiday parties call for some of the sharpest formal wear you have in your closet, or if you don’t own a nice tux, you may need to rent one. Make sure you check with the event planner to see what level of formal is going to be appropriate. A modern cut men’s tux with a muted, but vibrant holiday color with a nice black bow-tie will have you in state of cheerful elegance. Make sure to brush up on your ballroom dancing skills and not to consume too many martinis. A gentlemen knows how to keep his balance at all times.

Business Casual

While black-tie events are fun and you get an opportunity to dress to the 9s, most holiday parties thrown by employers are business casual these days. Again, it’s best to check with the event planner. Here, a nice, festive suede sport jacket in a solid, muted color with dress slacks, a new well fitting black t-shirt, button up, or polo will allow for a relaxed, casual experience where you can sip an Old Fashioned and swap humorous stories of Christmas past and hopes for the new year.

Festive Funky

For the bolder corporate culture, “festive funky” is the way to go. Feel free to express yourself. A sport jacket with bolder colors or print fabrics will go well. Holiday patterned socks that you can discreetly show off as a conversation piece are always fun. Pretty much any type of bold accessories that would draw attention to your love of all things Christmas.

ELF

Finally, sometimes you just have to go full throttle. This is where you take the holiday theme from joyfully eccentric to ludicrously extreme. Here, vibrant top hats, blinking LED lights in all colors of the spectrum, things provoking remembrances of famous characters from Rudolf to Frosty the Snowman. This is where you are going for the kind of show stopping, elated boldness that would make Clark Griswold stop in his tracks and say, “WOW!”.

Momentum and Blessing

Written By Justin Neil Gaynor

There is a lot of value to be found in unity. As a matter of fact, one of the more impactful portions of Scripture that I’ve interacted with says,

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell together in unity! Like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, Aaron’s beard: That went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, that descended upon the mountains of Zion: For there the LORD commanded the blessing, Life for evermore.”

Recently, I have experienced this in a big way. As a Florida REALTOR®️, I am required to align myself with a Broker for regulatory and accountability reasons. I’ve been with Keller Williams Florida Partners in Daytona Beach for more than a year now. The training has been excellent and the people are a joy to work with. When I first started, there was a training program in place called IGNITE.

While I found the training useful, I didn’t really get as engaged with it as I ought to have. To be honest, I think I needed a little experience wrestling with things on my own for a while. However, Keller Williams

recently revamped the training, aligned it with an organization that helps REALTORS®️ with their continuing education, and began offering the series of classes in the evening via ZOOM. Since I needed to complete 45 hours of post licensing continuing education before March 31, 2023, I figured I would take the ignite training a second time.

What I found, is that instead of a small group of a dozen or so REALTORS®️, there were more than a hundred REALTORS®️ participating from all over the state of Florida and beyond. The ZOOM technology allowed us to flood the chat with thoughts, experiences, insights. The class facilitator moved through the material at a helpful pace, always inviting interaction, and sharing of experiences. Everyone was there to learn to build a solid real estate business and all of those hearts and minds aligned was powerful. The content of the class was clear, concise, and compelling (the three C’s we so often talk about here in GP) and that helped everyone get on the same page and remain there.

Back to the Scripture portion. God COMMANDS a blessing where brethren dwell in unity. Keep in mind it must be a unity in truth. Not just some surface unity where truth doesn’t matter. We were discussing real wisdom. Real understanding of these topics. How things actually work. Let me tell you that I haven’t seen things falling into place in my real estate business, or any of my businesses, for that matter, the way they have during the last month of being in this class.

It seems like every evening was the culmination of a day invested in learning the things that were being talked about, only I had experienced them in my real career right before we were covering those topics. This gave me a practical experience to confirm the message being shared, and to encourage the group with. It was amazing.

So, my encouragement to you, “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in all things give thanks to God” and, get yourself connected with as many likeminded people in your business as possible. Then stay connected, stay focused on your common ground and the mission and vision you share.

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Best Mexican Meal!

Written by Justin Gaynor

Latin food is without question a favorite of mine. So, don’t be surprised if you see a lot of restaurant reviews in Gentleman’s Purpose covering culinary artists from Spain, Mexico, South America, Portugal, etc. This month, I had an exceptional meal. I’d say it was the best Mexican food that I’ve had in at least the last five years.

It had been a long day and I was at one of my offices, hungry, and running short on time before my evening class started. So, I decided to walk to a restaurant that was in the same plaza there on South Nova Road. Agave Fresh Mex & Cantina has been really slow every time I have been there and I honestly can’t understand why. This time it definitely worked to my benefit though. I was in a hurry.

The hostess seated me immediately and brought me a house margarita. A quick review of the menu and I chose the Quesa Tacos with steak. While my food was cooking, I took advantage of the quiet restaurant and caught up on some emails in peace. It wasn’t long before a had an enormous tray of piping hot Mexican food in front of me. There was a heaping helping of fresh guacamole (Avocado is a super food you know), rice, refried beans, and hands down the best tacos EVER. I’ve previously mentions how I favor flour tortillas to corn tortillas, but these were like open faced quesadillas…but they were tacos! So delicious!

I finished my meal up and was off to class with a great dining ex perience and some great food under my belt. That being said, let’s help the owners there build this business and fill their dining room people. Average ticket charge is reasonable and you get a lot of quality food for your money.

Recommended Additions to Your Library for December 2022: Essential Christmas

Learning to celebrate the ‘Festival of Lights” as a Christian is to embrace a celebration that Jesus himself celebrated with Mary and His siblings. It is a holiday that reminds us that even if we find ourselves oppressed and persecuted, God will provide and ultimately grant us victory over darkness.

Recommended Additions to Your Library for December 2022: Essential Christmas

7 original short stories to get you into the original Spirit of the Christmas season. You know how much I love short stories and well written ones can be very powerful. Check this book out by Kevin Moore and feed your soul.

Recommended Additions to Your Library for December 2022: Essential Christmas

There are some stories and poems that we are all strangely aware of due to cultural allusions and whatnot, but perhaps you’ve never gone to the source and engaged with these amazing classics. If that’s you, this is the collection for you this season.

Recommended Additions to Your Library for December 2022: Essential Christmas

If you are into Christian theology a little more, or you would like to be, this is a fantactic collection with contributions from some of the greatest minds and passionate hearts amongst God’s family.

EMMALINE

Sings the Christmas Classics

Gentlemen, if you have never decorated your own apartment or home for Christmas, there are some basics that you need to spruce the place up for that holiday networking event, Christmas block party, or for that special Christian gal that you want to woo. Purchase these items from Amazon and you will be well on your way to a festive gathering place for friends, family and neighbors.

Christmas tree topper to remind us to direct people to Jesus.

The people of Houston are very friendly in my experience. It’s like a “servant’s heart” is something the local culture really works to fascilitate

Wherever I go, I’m always looking for mountain bike trails and other extreme sports to get involved in. Houston has a lot to offer in this area of interest as well.

Visit Houston sooner rather than later. You will be happy you did.