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August 2020
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What
Becoming Gentlemen, pg. 7
A Soldier in a Different Kind of Army, pg. 9
Three C’s of Communicatio for Marriage, pg. 16
A Mystic of True F pg. 38
Written by Justin Gaynor, pg. 10
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t’s Inside
on
The Vineyard, Join a Wine Club or Do Your Own Shopping? pg. 46
Personal Style Goes Far Beyond What You Wear, pg. 22
cal Story Faith,
Quick Pesto Chicken, pg. 44
Travel: St. Augustine, Florida, pg. 64
Key West - 2020 Lobster Season is Open, pg. 66 Getting Your Wings In Palm Beach, pg. 24
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FAITH 6
Becoming Gentlemen by Justin Gaynor
The behavior of a gentleman is not the root. It is the fruit of something much deeper. A man’s heart condition will ultimately manifest itself in the choices he makes. Therefore, if you want good fruit then you must make sure that the root is neither bitter or corrupt in some other way. Real gentleman are not play-actors. A real gentleman is genuine through and through. Planting Good Seed Enjoying a fruitful harvest starts by speaking things that are true into ourselves and others. This often requires a change in attitude so that the spirit of what is being spoken is coming from a heart that truly wants the best for the hearer. Too often, we simply want our own behavior, or the behavior of others to change. Why? They get on our nerves or we perceive that their behavior in some way negatively affects our own interests. In our own case, we typically only seek to change if we are sick and tired of experiencing the negative consequences of our current mindsets and behaviors. When change occurs for the better, in ourselves and in others, it will benefit everyone. While it seems like semantics, it is best to focus on what is best for the other person. Such a focus will help us to remain humble and others centered. This is most certainly the approach of a gentleman.
Shifting Focus As gentlemen, we want to be careful to live in the present mindful that there is a better future possible. When we do this, we become a place within society where that better future, surprisingly, starts to break into the present. Make no mistake, this is not an easy mindset to maintain in the midst of so many pressing issues and adverse circumstances. A gentleman is a man of hope though. A beacon of light in a dark world. To begin shifting our mindsets to be more consistently in line with being gentlemen, there are some things we should be intentional about setting our thoughts upon. A gentleman concerns himself with things that are true. He grows in his clarity of such true things. He considers what is noble and steps into that nobility. A gentleman considers the purity of his thoughts, speech, and actions. He also looks for those things that are pure, lovely, and admirable in others, and then openly celebrates such things. In this way, a gentleman inspires others to seek, see, and hear such excellent things. We will continue this conversation next month. Until then, keep your balance in all things. Fulfill your purpose.
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A Soldier in Different Kind of Army by Justin Gaynor
Last month we talked with Joseph Trapani and he shared about his life changing experience in Vietnam. This month we continue our conversation with Pastor Trapani. The focus this month is on how Pr. Trapani was moved to take what he learned as a soldier and is now putting it to use for a different kind of army. There was a moment in history when a leader of Israel’s forces found himself standing in front of a messenger with his sword drawn. Frightened out of his wits, the leader wanted to know if this messenger was for them or their adversaries. The answer was quite strange. He simply said, ‘No’. He continued on to explain that he was the captain of the LORD’s armies. Joseph’s testimony is like so many other veteran stories. This is why he found within his story a life’s calling that he feels is directly from God. Pr. Trapani says, ‘If you have not joined when you were called by God, then you must begin to recognize God’s call on your life.’ Joining yourself to this cause is about more than just going to Heaven when you die, as glorious as that will be. Rather, Trapani points out, ‘Websters dictionary describes believing as adhering to, trusting in, and relying on someone.’ So the call that Joseph experienced was about commitment and whole life tranformation. This is the message he shares with his fellow veterans and active enlisted, when the opportunity is afforded him. The pastor is quick to point out that this is not something that people can take upon themselves. He quotes Jesus, the leader of his faith, as saying, ‘You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit.’ Elsewhere it is written exactly what the fruit, or results, that this Rabbi Jesus was talking about. It is explained that the fruit of walking in this calling is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. Well, that sounds like good stuff that we would all like to experience more of. So, let’s hear more about these things next month...
Support the work of Pr. Joseph Trapani and Freedom Church of the Palm Beaches
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Kindness is like a strong rod, beating down wolves and bears and vicious lions while at the same time drawing its recipient, like a shepherd’s staff, into the loving arms of its protector. If you have ever experienced true kindness it is, without question, one of the most exhilarating and transformative experiences.
Written by Justin Gaynor
‘If you have ever experienced true kindness, it is, without question, one of the most exhilarating and transformative experiences.’
Now mind you, I am not talking about social obligations or even good deeds done because one fears the wrath of God, not that that is a bad place to start. The fear of the LORD is after all, according to the ancient writings, the beginning of wisdom. Yet for some reason, it was not through wisdom that one really comes to know God, rather, it is through self-giving love, a love that is many times experienced through extravagant kindness. A kindness that is not a work done according to a moral, religious, or civil law...rather it is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Something that comes from an eternal place deep in the heart of man. You see, God has placed eternity in the heart of man, but that is a meta-physic to be pondered at length and is not the focus of this article, except to establish that there is something within truly human beings that is transcendent in ways yet to be fully known or explored by anyone other than Jesus Christ Himself. All that being said, the focus of this article, is to look at three expressions of this kindness that I have experienced and how it impacted me in my life. Now, kindness...true kindness...as I stated before is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, it is not something one can muster up and you won’t be very
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effective at manifesting it if you read this article and determine that you are going to go and find someone to do these things for in order that you may be a kind person. Though you may discover situations occurring where you will be carried along in similar activities, but you will likely not realize the true goodness of your kind act until after that fact and you will, indeed, be amazed that God has done something of that magnitude through you. Regardless of how mundane or common-place that activity you did actually was. You see, true kindness always comes from a place of prayerful humility, a place that has really forgotten self and is just doing what one perceives as ‘the next right thing’ to do. As a matter of fact, if some observer or even the recipient of your kindness were to say to you, ‘My word! That is mighty kind of you.’, you would likely think to yourself...’Hmmm, I only did what I ought to have done.’ In the ancient writings it tells us that, ‘It is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance.’ So the three scenarios that I want to share with you over the course of this series will all share that common ground. I experienced this genuine kindness and upon realizing the value of the the source and purpose of the kindness experienced I was led to direct my attention to the God that can be read about in the Hebrew and Christian scriptures. The first of these experiences has to do with my early years in the midst of a broken home. The second has to do with the experience of a tragic loss in my life. The last in this series of fortunate experiences has to do with a time of deep pain and loss in my life.
Kindness, the kind that I speak of, broke through these thick, dark circumstances like the blazing sun parting the clouds in the midst of a violent, darkly dismal hurricane. Come and see! I am the first and only full-blooded child of a hard working stucco-man and a waitress. Those were their professions, not who they are. My dad is one of the kindest men I know. The amount of suffering and emotional turmoil that man has endured through the years is mind boggling, not that he was perfect. I know a lot of people have a hard time obeying the commandment to honor their father and mother. Their parents were so awful they have a difficult time finding any redeeming value in their existence, other than giving birth to them. That, for me, has not been the case. With all my parent’s failures and faults, as far as parents go, they have much in their characters that I feel to be honorable. My mom was one of the most loving people I know, she constantly forgave people because she was not unaware of how much she had been forgiven of. She would share in and bear the pain and turmoil of her employees as a business owner, our house was always open to my brother’s friends, as well as mine, especially in times of trouble. Not to say in her comforting people that she wouldn’t speak the truth in love and call someone out on their sin. She always approached these matters with a deeply rooted kindness and love for people. Unfortunately, my parents divorced at a very early and formative point in my life. This is where I get to introduce you to Jim and Pearl Morgan.
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The vessels through whom I got to experience the first taste of true kindness that I can bring to mind. When my dad turned eighteen he became eligible to work for a stucco company. If I remember the conversation I had with him properly, it was with a company called Fred Lee. He was working in the industry alongside a man named Larry Long, whose dad, Jim Morgan also worked for the company, albeit in a different division. About two years went by and a devastating recession hit the construction market, and much besides. People were being laid off and at some point, Larry approached my dad and told him that his dad, Jim Morgan, decided to strike out on his own and launch a new venture. My dad, along with Larry, a man named Ol’ Benny and a man nick-named Red jumped on the proverbial boat with Mr. Morgan and Morgan Stucco and Brick was launched. Mr. Morgan had married Larry’s mom, Pearl, at some point before all this and, as far as I am concerned, she was nothing less luminous and valuable than her name. At breakfast one morning, before starting the work day, Mr. Morgan and my dad entered into a diner in Daytona Beach. There was a beautiful blonde bombshell waiting tables, the niece of the restaurant owner, whom Mr. Morgan thought would be a nice companion for my dad. So, always being bold with the ladies and unafraid to speak his mind, right or wrong, he played match-maker between my dad and the woman that would become my natural mom.
Unfortunately, it was a relationship that didn’t have a strong enough foundation to endure. Yet, Jim and Pearl Morgan, faced with this situation, began to answer some deep calling to kindness. Knowing that my mom was estranged from her parents they didn’t see the role of grandparents being fulfilled there. A quick look at my dad and they saw he only had his father, since his mom had died young, and his dad really really didn’t want to help his son and this kid he now had. The Morgan’s decided to step up and fulfill some of the practical roles that were vacant for all the various reasons that one might imagine. Through the years, my relationship to the Morgan’s deepened. Even with custody sharing between my parents, I had a weekend with my dad, a weekend with my mom and one with the Morgan’s. I can’t really remember the day I found out they were not my real, blood relatives...but given the relationship I had enjoyed with them, I suppose it came as quite a shock while not inhibiting the love we all had for each other in the least. Some of my best childhood memories without question include the Morgan’s. Then one day something tragic and unexpected happened. I was in my early teens, maybe a little younger...I remember I had a skateboard ramp my friends and I had put together strategically placed down my dad’s steep driveway and on the opposite side of the street. My Grandma Morgan, Pearl, had gone to the hospital for heart surgery. She had been through similar things before and I had visited her in the hospital. This time they were going to enter into a particular area of her heart
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and utilize a balloon-like instrument to clear a pathway for the blood to flow properly. She had come through the surgery fine, but during the process they had apparently allowed some air bubbles to get in there. So shortly after the successful surgery...one of the bubbles burst and she passed almost instantly. My parents, broken-hearted themselves, shared the bad news with me. This is the woman I first remember saying my bedtime prayers with. The woman who cared for me while my parents were working. The woman that changed my diapers and loved me and fought for me on more than one occasion. A woman that wanted the best for me in ways I can’t even fathom. I went outside in the dark of night in tears to mourn alone. I remember standing on that old skateboard ramp, looking up through the stars to the God that is, just begging Him to take care of her...I don’t remember what I prayed particularly that day, but I know God does and I know I was heard in heaven that day. Hers was a life lived in kindness that turned my heart to God that evening. It was God’s kindness that had been coming after me with great zeal through that woman...and love never fails. To be continued...
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RELATIONSHIPS
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The Three C’s of Communication
FOR MARRIAGE by Justin Gaynor
Clear, concise, and compelling. These are the fundamentals of communication that have been taught in business schools for years. Can these core communication principals help your marriage? Yes, if applied properly. The fact is, your wife is neither your employee nor your employer. She is not even your co-worker. Your wife is a mystery to be daily explored, sought after, and deeply loved. Yes, there are practical things that simply need to get done, and the three C’s can be extremely helpful. However, I warn you ahead of time, without combining these principals with basic emotional intelligence, you will find yourself in a heap of trouble quickly. That being said, let’s look at how the three C’s can be helpful.
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lear communication starts with making sure you have one another’s attention. Consider this, she’s sitting at the kitchen table clipping coupons. You are across the room at a commercial break during a Monday night football game. She hollers something about the budget. Do not engage from where you are. Rise up, walk over to where she is, repeat back to her what she said, ‘You think we need to make some changes to the budget.’ She looks at you very strangely. ‘Um, yeah!’ You say, ‘That is a very important aspect of our relationship. What does your calendar look like tomorrow night? We probably need to set aside at least a couple hours for this since we haven’t looked at it together in a while.’ She smiles. You kiss her on the forehead. You tell her you love her very much and this will give you both time to get your thoughts in order. Now, walk back to the ballgame like a boss...and don’t forget to give some thought to the budget between that point and when you sit down together.
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oncise communication is what will save both of you time and effort.
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When you take time to think through what you want to communicate and how to best say what you want to say, it expresses love and respect for the other person. It could be the budget, dinner plans, or your thoughts on how best to raise the kids. Concise communication shows that you not only cared enough to think through what you wanted to say, but how you wanted to say it. The reality is that this will not always happen within marriage. Why? Because of the sheer amount of communication that goes on in a household, the reality of unexpected situations that tend to trigger emotional responses, and so much more. However, the more it does happen the better things can be. If she is feeling emotional about something, DO NOT expect any of the three C’s. Do not look for them. Do not imagine how much better the conversation would be if she would just focus on the three C’s. Do not try to re-direct her to the three C’s...and whatever you do...DO NOT call her the BIG C!
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ompelling communication happens as you become less concerned about communicating your opinion on a matter. Look for the best solution. Consider the variables involved in the situation. This includes looking beyond just the ‘Point A-to-Point B’aspect and into the experience. Consider the likes and dislikes of those involved in the decision to be made, where and when things should happen based on the load that you are both presently carrying, etc. When you have thought through all the variables and have a compelling way forward, be humble enough to expect that she will share some hidden insight that you were unaware of. In that case, praise her for her contribution and consider together how this new information impacts the overall scenario. Seek the final outcome as a couple who both have the best interests of your relationship and family at heart.
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STYLE
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Personal Style Goes Far Beyond What You Wear Written by Justin Gaynor
The style of a man is that of an oak tree; rooted, strong and refreshing. Developing a style that is your own, expressing you, can take some time. Why? Well, the truth is we don’t know ourselves very well. We are influenced by a lot of things people and other external stimuli, but if you stripped all that stuff away and spent some time with you and God...you would find out who you are and perhaps who you are becoming. There are some basics of you that need to be cared for though. You are important enough to care for, so take care of you, you are the only you there is. The basic structure of a human is Heart, Soul, and Strength. These all need regular tending to, nurturing and sometimes healing. So, I am going to give you some recommendations to help for each part of you as you start to discover, or rediscover, your own style. Your heart Your heart is also known as your inner man. I heard someone recently say ‘I don’t know what a bad man’s heart looks like, but I know what a good man’s heart looks like and it’s terrible.’ By the time we get to thinking about the health of our ‘inner man’ we have likely had our heart so traumatized by things we have done and things that others have done to us that in most cases, the inner man is dead. So, this is very important. It is a matter of vitality and living a life that is truly life. So, what do I recommend? 1) Spiritual teaching. Spiritual teaching speaks past your intellect, though it will influence that as well, directly into your core person. It addresses who you are in a perfect world and will have the effect of bringing that person into being. This teaching will be true and balanced, also, true spiritual teaching has a strange dimension to it that gives power to become, they are words that actually create realities. Caution though, bad or pseudo-spiritual teaching can be very dangerous. An example would be trying to legislate (turn into law) the teachings of someone like Jesus, in order to avoid actual relationship with the Spirit of Jesus. This resulted in a project called Communism and it had deadly results. So, be wise, be warned. 2) Spending time with people in fruitful conversation. Expressing deep spiritual truths and wrestling with them together with others helps to build up your heart, when it is rooted in sincere and genuine love for humanity in general and particularly the one you are listening to attentively and speaking into graciously. 3) Share meals with people often. There is something powerfully spiritual about taking into ourselves foods that have been brought forth from the earth, lovingly prepared and presented for our mutual nourishment. It strengthens a connection with something absolutely basic about being human. The food itself, is almost as important as the spirit that is over it, in it, through it and under it. The Spirit that created it to be received with thanksgiving and sanctified with prayer. 4) Talk to God. Yep. Just talk to Him. He doesn’t need you making oaths and promises, or swearing you’ll do this better next time or you’re giving this up. Prayer is a matter of allowing the Spirit that animates your inner man to commune with God in a way that the things going on within you will be freely and openly expressed. This will build up your spirit and if you are so blessed you’ll be able to articulate things in a way that it will help build up your mind as well. That brings us to your soul... Your Soul Your soul is what makes you distinctly you. As opposed to another human being. Cultivating your soul is good. Your soul is made up of your mind and emotions, your patterns of thought, and your physicality. Your soul is supposed to be ‘driven’ by your inner man, also known as your spirit. This is one of my favorite words, ‘pneumatikoi’, it’s the Greek word for Spirit-driven people. It is closely related to the word Jesus uses in his Sermon on the Mount for ‘Blessed’, this is the word for ‘Makarios’ and it was a happy, elevated existence that in the Greek mind, was reserved only for the gods. Yet Jesus seems to make this blessedness available to everyone, right here, right now. So, what do I recommend for good soul health? Come and see... 1) Read lots of books. Talk with people about those books. People who can help you on your life journey. Read history and science, newspapers and poetry, short stories and novels, sermons and epistles. Explore people through their writings, get to know them and perhaps dialogue with God about some of them.
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2) Write often. It is good to write 500 to 1000 words a day. You may choose to write a journal or a blog. A really great idea is to write hand-written letters. In this day of cheap, fast electronic messages it is amazing how powerfully writing a friend or colleague a handwritten letter can strengthen a relationship. I really like writing poetry...and song lyrics as well. 3) Schedule a monthly appointment to speak with a pastor, deacon or deaconess. A one on one or at most three (maybe the pastor and his wife). We often have blind-spots in our development and meeting regularly with someone with this type of gifting and anointing can greatly benefit you. They can offer suggestions and direction, taking into account your whole self. If you are unsure about anything, double check the Scriptures, but be sure to share what you learned with your instructor. It may be an opportunity for both of you to grow. 4) Travel as often and to as many varied destinations as you can. It is one thing to read about the whitewater rapids in North Carolina, to see National Geographic articles about the underwater paradise off the shore of the Florida Keys or to watch Ferris Bueller explore the art museums of a major metropolitan city...its a whole other thing to discover what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel or take your boots off after an all day hike to see the Old Man of the Mountain in New Hampshire. Your body is important too. Like an automobile, it has all kinds of systems that need regular maintenance, the right kind of fuel and occasional repairs. Don’t wreck it. Here are some things that will be helpful. 1) Eat foods that are nourishing and show that you cherish your body. Get to know your tastes by exploring different cuisines and how your body responds to different foods and beverages. If something doesn’t work well with you, switch gears and try something different. Presentation is important because what something looks like is a major factor in how much you enjoy it and thus how thankful you are for it. Thankfulness is really healthy. 2) Grooming. Everything from clipping your toenails to caring for your beard is important. Regular haircuts, brushing and flossing your teeth will not only make you feel better, it will save you loads of money and open a lot more doors for relationships. Also, good bathing habits are super important. Americans tend to shower much more often than most other cultures, but I recommend a regular weekly, full blown bath. I’m talking bubbles, salt, Irish Spring body wash, shampoo and conditioner, beard oil, candles, Pandora and a glass of your favorite wine or whiskey (if you don’t drink adult beverages for one or more various reasons, break out the blender and make yourself a virgin strawberry daiquiri or a tall glass of sweet iced tea with a slice of Florida orange in it.) 3) Get involved in movement. Walking, mountain biking, surfing, hiking, camping, kayaking, join a local beach volleyball league, something...I used to have guys in their eighties come into my office, the difference between the ones that looked like they had one foot already in the grave and those that looked half their age was weekly tennis or racquetball matches. 4) Play chess or checkers, Words with Friends... some sort of entertainment that will continue to strengthen your thinking muscles and keep the pathways in your brain sharp and clear. Actually, something that is extremely helpful with this is prayerfully singing through the Psalms regularly. Psalms is a central collection of songs and hymns in the Hebrew Scriptures. The rhythm and content has apparently been shown to heal and develop the mind, literally bringing about positive physiological changes (like the negative physiological abnormalities discovered in the brains of addicted persons, only positive and fruitful!) Your Strength We often thing of our strength as our physical ability to exert power over another object. As an example, “I have grown so much after working out for the last 6 months, I now have the strength to bench press 300 lbs. While the kind of strength I am talking about includes that kind of strength, it is certainly not limited to it. When we are passionate about something we put our all into it. Our brain power, our emotional wherewithall, our physical abilities, our time, our energy, our money... every part of your personal being with all of its powers of influence. When your strength in this sense is directed at what your purpose is, you begin to come into alignment with the universe. So as you continue to explore what your purpose is, may you discover the God of the universe, and find that He is God and He is one, and in discovering that reality, may you understand what is truly worth investing all of your strength. So, I hope this gives you some holistic ideas to get started developing your own personal style and exploring some pretty gnarly areas of personal development that you may have overlooked. Grace and peace be with you from God our Father and Jesus the Lord.
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FEATURE
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GETTING YOUR WINGS IN PALM BEACH Written by Justin Gaynor
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Learning to fly when you ain’t got any wings may seem far fetched, but it’s pretty normal these days. When I started thinking about getting my private pilot’s license I knew who to turn to for advice. I met Jeff Coursey and his brother Jason when they attended a men’s breakfast where I was speaking. He has decades of flying experience and I was sure he would be able to get me started in the right direction. Above: Jeff flying with Pastor Dave Hall of Reveal Fellowship, Lake Worth, FL Below: Jeff in Israel
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The life of a private pilot includes meeting a lot of really cool people apparently. Here we see Coursey with ‘Vanilla Ice’ pushing some European Supercars.
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Getting Your Wings in Palm Beach Written by Justin Gaynor
Meeting with Jeff and his family was a real blessing. Not only did we get to catch up after five years or so, but I had an opportunity to meet his wife and son and share a meal with them. The time came to get down to business though. What does it take to get your private pilot’s license in the state of Florida? Well, first of all let’s talk about the financial costs? You are probably looking at spending anywhere from $8,000 to $12,000. So it is no small investment of money, or time for that matter. What are the top 3 benefits of getting this license? The ability to go pretty much anywhere you want, quickly. There is great money to be made, when things are operating properly. Covid-19 has made things difficult for a lot of pilots. That is something Jeff’s company PJP (Private Jet Pilots) is working on. He has organized a great network of private jet pilots that his organization is working at getting back to work. Travel has slowed significantly and that has affected his constituents. The third reason is the sheer joy of flying. If you like going fast, becoming a private jet pilot just might be your purpose in life. Let’s explore it a little more. Can I test the waters before I commit to an investment like that? Absolutely. Not everyone has access to a friend in the industry that can take them flying for free. However, there is a local airfield in Lantana, FL that offers something they call discovery flights. These are relatively inexpensive, very informative, and will give you an idea of what you are getting yourself into. You mentioned time. How long does it take to obtain a private pilot license? It’s going to take an investment of about 40 hours, maybe more for some. That includes classroom time, instructional flight time, and practice runs. What is sitting for the test like? It’s pretty straight forward. You just contact the flight school once you have met all of the requirements and they will schedule a test for you. Once you pass the exam, you’ll be ready to rock and roll! Then if you want to continue, you can learn to fly using only instruments, then commercial...if you wanted to do that.
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BUSINESS
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WE NEED CONNECTION Written by Justin Gaynor
What happens when you actually connect? I was so stoked to see the Social Media Pastor of a church I used to go to have an opportunity to step up to the pulpit and deliver an encouraging word to the Body. Being professionally born and bred in the internet trading space, you would think that actual human relationships would require minimal consideration in how I plan my ongoing personal and professional development. Well, that might be true if the company I worked for was not committed, from the top down, to maintaining local, real presence. Yep, click and mortar was how we rolled. Why? Why all the extra expense, build-outs, leases, hiring, training, etc. etc. etc.? Because people are important. Sitting and talking with someone, in real, personal, face-to-face interaction may seem antiquated. Perhaps even dangerous, though you both may be wearing masks due to COVID-19. When you invest time and energy in creating, within others, transferable skills that are going to help them, their families, and the communities they live and work in for years to come, you avoid a sort of death and it saves them too. Let me give you and example. If I hire and train a young man or lady to do basic office work and then I invest time suggesting and following up on book recommendations...if I invite their feedback on some of my more challenging business scenarios, teaching them that genuine connection matters...if I develop in them the sense that we have to take the relationship from cyberspace to the table...then they learn the truth that business is far more than a cold science (as helpful as the sciences are to businesses). Business is living, breathing art. Think about how an economy works. Consider how a single dollar spent, somehow mystically multiplies to help the productivity of a community to flourish. Or consider how buying one share of stock at $20 and one share at $10 gives you two shares at $15 and that those shares, actual ownership in a real business enterprise, can pay you money (dividends). The shares can also increase in value and split, like two cells in a living organism. The business throttles up through the business cycle. Now, think about all the real people that potentially affects. This kid could be doing all sorts of stuff, yet here he or she is, entrusted to you, to show them something more elaborate, something more satisfying...and to help them to never forget that they are real human beings, helping other real human beings. You don’t want them to get lost in the digital wonderland, where it can turn out to be more like a cage than anything liberating. If you have a hundred digital touch-points, but you fail to teach them how to connect, then you have failed. This is true with monetizing those online interactions and it’s even more true when it comes to relationship development. The other aspect to this is what everyone likes to say they have, but most really struggle with. People skills. Let’s say you have a standardized procedure with all the digital bells and whistles. A client comes in to interact with you. With a company issued tablet in hand that the client can navigate with, you go to lead the client through a step-by-step process. They answer questions on a touch-screen till they get to a few database generated suggestions for a product they may want to go with. You have walked numerous people through this process just today, but you know from your training, and common sense, that this person is probably nervous. Its a fairly big decision to do business with you and this very real person is like a universe of stories and experiences that you don’t know. So...do you actually care? After the fifth conversation? The fiftieth? Do you care to ask the questions that are going to build an actual relationship? I’m talking like ‘Andy Griffith’ care about your neighbor sitting in front of you? The people that are intentional about connecting on that level are going to be far healthier and they are going to be far more fruitful as they build real community through the business they are an important part of. What is the bottom line? Developing people, internally and externally, clients and team members, and vendors and suppliers, all of it comes down to being intentional about more than getting through the conversation, opening the account, or closing the deal...it’s about deploying touch-points. From Twitter or Instagram, Facebook or Ebay, and drawing people to something that can actually benefit them, conducting business transactions within the context of genuine relationship, it’s about what it means to be a neighbor, to be part of a community.
Here we are almost through the whole summer and we have been enjoying exceedingly low fuel prices. With limitations to travel, whether self-imposed or as a result of government restrictions, there are huge build ups in oil and other fossil fuel reserves. Will this last forever, or is it time to start buying oil ETFs and others investments that will benefit from a return to normalcy in the next few years?
Chart reference from www.Nasdaq.com
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DINING
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A MYSTICAL STORY OF TRUE FAITH Written by Justin Gaynor
The 4 Golden Rules
of the Restaurant / Bar Business according to Brian McVan 1. Never drink when you’re at work. 2. Don’t do drugs. 3. Don’t gamble while at work. 4. Don’t mess around with your staff.
It has been an exciting journey for Brian McVan, owner of The Rock Irish Pub in Lake Worth, FL. Brian always wanted to be a police officer as a young lad. He fulfilled that dream when he served in the United States Air Force as a military police officer. In the 1980’s McVan saw tremendous opportunity in the health club / gym industry and was very successful. As a matter of fact, the gym he started more than 30 years ago is still there till this day. The gym business led to television and radio programs where he has hosted Donald Trump, Don King, and many others.
Serving America Brian McVan had two aspirations as a young man. He wanted to serve in the field of criminal justice and to realize his dream of owning health clubs. He accomplished both before turning his sights on the hospitality industry where he has successfully operated nightclubs, bars and restaurants including The Rock Irish Pub in Lake Worth, FL where he and his oldest son are currently partners. McVan says that after the tragegy of losing his son Jake to a heart-attack recently, working along side his oldest has been comforting and encouraging. McVan’s wife of 38 years, Janet, has been faithfully at Brian’s side through all the ups and downs of thier life together. With tears in his eyes, Brian talks about how faith has helped him through all of the dark seasons of life, “Without question, (Jesus) has been my Savior my whole life, I’ve had a lot of very difficult situations, it’s because of my belief in God and everything that gets me through every single day, I pray every night before I go to bed, I keep grace in my heart mind, body and soul, every day, its gotten me through a lot of very bad times, especially when my son passed away, it was the most difficult. As a true believer, you believe they go to a better place and that’s where he (his son Jake) is.
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Brian McVan, owner, photographed with Emily Hurst, Manager The Rock Irish Pub, Lake Worth, FL
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McVan’s Early Years and Family Brian McVan grew up in Doylestown, PA. He comes from a large Irish-Catholic family with his mom, the first on her side of the family to arrive in the USA, and his dad, a second generation American. McVan married his high-school sweet-heart, Janet, and they’ve been married for 38 years. They take the sanctity of marriage very seriously and that is why they have stood by one another through thick and thin. Most recently, Brian and Janet held dearly to one another through the loss of their son. They attended his funeral on the young man’s 33rd birthday. Their oldest son, Brian Jr., is a partner in the restaurant, and their youngest son is a junior at Florida State. A Love For Athletics With a passion for justice and healthy living, McVan was torn between two career choices. He had grown up working in restaurants, including one owned by his grandmother. However, in attending a high-school that is renowned for being ‘a football factory’, Central Bucks High School West, McVan got involved in as many sports as he could, but football and body-building were at the forefront of his mind. From The Air Force to Entreprenuer Athletics would have to take a backseat to the call of duty for McVan though. He chose to enlist in the U.S. Airforce and serve as military police. Brian attended marksman school and learned to shoot a .38 and M16. He faithfully served in the Air Force for 7 years. During this time he travelled extensively in Europe and the Orient. Yet, Brian was torn between two dreams after serving in the Air Force, the FBI or the private sector as a health club owner. Bodybuilding Arrives in PA Brian, while at the age of 24, saw the health club business just starting to get traction with Gold’s and World’s Gym in California. However, it wasn’t till George Snyder arrived on the East Coast with the Olympus Gym franchise that Brian really got engaged in the industry. While working for and being mentored by George Snyder, McVan met his hero’s like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Franco Columbu, Frank Zane, and Serge Nubret. After some time learning the business, Brian McVan set out with his wife Janet to launch their first health club. The Atilis Gym would be the first of its kind in Wildwood, NJ. That was 1983 and the gym is still in operation today. The McVan’s grew that business to include six franchises all over New Jersey and Pennsylvania. It is a difficult business to be in and the likelihood of failure was high. Brian saw it as an opportunity though, he says, ‘I loved the gym business, I would go to aunction, buy equipment at 20 cents on the dollar, refurbish it and sell it for 80 cents on the dollar. A Whole New Level of Hospitality McVan learned the restaurant business as a child. Some of those skills served him well and carried over into the health club business. Now, he was going back to his restaurant roots. You see, his grandmother owned Duggan’s, back in an all Irish neighborhood. She had 15 kids, and patrons would come in from the shipyards. He always felt like he wanted to be in business for himself and the health club business was working out really well. Then another door opened. Brian was training a guy named Wally Lerro in the health clubs and Lerro asked if he would be interested in going into business together. They opened 2 nightclubs up north and 4 bars / restaurants here in Florida including....cont’d.
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...cont’d Polo Bay Sports Bar and Grille, The Coach’s Corner, Brian Baru’s, Sundance and Duggan’s and now they own the Rock Irish Pub. McVan says his oldest son, Brian Jr., does the bulk of the work, including the night shift since Brian Sr. is now 63 years old. He’s proud of his son and says he does a great job. They have really been there for each other as they mourn the loss of McVan’s middle son, Jake. Brian reiterated, ‘Being a Christian, I do believe he’s in heaven, that’s the only thing that keeps me going, it was the saddest thing of my life, till this day it brings tears to my eyes, but he’s in a better place, so life is good. The restaurant really seems to give them something to focus on as they process it all. What are some of the challenges to opening a restaurant? The restaurant business is not easy. The biggest buyer and seller of liquor licenses in the state of Florida happens to be a good friend of Brian’s, and that has been a tremendous help. The Rock Irish Pub has what is known as an SRX license. It is designed for establishments that sell at least a 51% food to liquor ratio. This is not a problem for The Rock Irish Pub. Their Chef comes to them from the Okeechobbe Steakhouse, easily one of the highest quality steakhouses in South Florida. The food is good at The Rock Irish Pub. COVID-19 has made it considerably challenging this year. The governor of Florida, concerned about public health, closed down all restaurants at an Irish Pub’s busiest time of year, around St. Patrick’s Day. McVan estimated that it cost them well over $250k being closed for two months. Brian says, ‘In the next 6-8 months, if things don’t get better, there are going to be a lot of restaurants going out of business. God knows if there’s going to be another turn.’ The Rock does get a lot of take-out orders, but take-out business can barely keep people afloat due to overhead. What brought you to Lake Worth? Brian says, ‘A friend of mine got hold of me and was like... have you seen Lake Worth? It’s blowing up!” They were able to negotiate a lease agreement that was, ‘reasonable and fair’. Leasing costs in West Palm Beach, Delray Beach, or Fort Lauderdale have already experienced significant growth, whereas Lake Worth was just starting to enter into a season of significant growth. Brian says, ‘When you are shopping for leases, make sure that you get what you are looking for in the lease, and don’t be afraid to walk away.’ If you can find leases with options to buy the property at some point, that is very smart. Brian mentioned that he felt that the city council was extremely helpful and they would do all that was in their power to help get a business man like him into the community.
Thinking About the Restaurant Business?
Brian McVan says his top three pieces of advice are... 1) Make sure you know your finances. 2) Know what you’re doing or surround yourself with people who do. 3) Do your due diligence. Know who you are and know your demographics, and your competition.
Talk to me about the Menu? ‘Traditional Irish dishes including bangers and mash, fish and chips (one of their best sellers), bacon-wrapped meatloaf. Great specials, we make it fresh! Every day and made in house!’ Live music and other things to connect with the community? Sunday and Saturday afternoon, The Rock Irish Pub hosts live music: classic rock low key and mellow. Brian wants to get back to bringing in larger bands when it’s safe. They are even kicking around the idea of doing an Open Mike Night, since Lake Worth is so rich with musical talent. Right now though, they have to operate at 50% capacity. They are trying to keep it within the guidelines for the safety of their patrons and staff. With plenty of TVs, the various football clubs in the area come in for games. Perhaps one of the most memorable things about the decor is the mural of Conor McGregor squaring up with John Sullivan, a boxer from the late 1800’s. McVan says that Sullivan was ‘the first true champion in boxing in the world.’ Brian says he puts different sports murals like this in all of his restaurants, ‘its kind of a funny, cool, memorable thing - corny, quirky things that give the place character, people walking by stop to get their picture, and they usually stay for a couple drinks and food.’ Next time you are in ask Brian or Brian Jr. about the ref in the mural.
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Wine Pairing Tip From Joe Paul of The Vineyard With this delicious Chicken Pesto meal, I’d personally pair it with an Italian red. Something from the regions of Tuscany and Piedmont would pair up beautifully. If you’re more of a white wine fan, I’d keep the herbaceousness of the dish in mind and go with a Sauvignon Blanc as their grassy and grapefruit flavors are pesto’s perfect partner.
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Quick Chicken Pesto A Meal For 4
4 chicken breasts, cut in strips 1 pound fresh spinach 4 fresh tomatoes 1.5 cups sliced mushrooms 3 heaping tablespoons of pesto w/ pine nuts 1 teaspoon Kosher salt 1teaspoon fresh ground pepper 3 tablespoons of pure olive oil 1 pound of penne, cooked al dente Pour the olive oil into a hot pan, add chicken strips and mushrooms, sautee’ until chicken is completely cooked. Add spinach, tomatoes, and pesto. Continue to sautee’ until the spinach softens up, but not until it looses its bright green color. Sprinkle with pepper and Kosher salt, moving the contents around with tongs for 2 to 3 minutes as the flavors meld together. Serve immediately over the penne with your favorite wine and warm Challah bread.
You are welcome...
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THE VINEYARD
The allure of the wine club is that you can be a spend-thrift and quickly fill the empty rungs in your cellar’s shelf. If buying cheap is your ultimate goal you might want to grab an Opici. It’s a very cheap wine, and if it ends up lingering in your cellar because you suddenly upped your price game and had more important stuff to drink first, no worries either. I had an old Opici that went into this hibernative state in my cellar because of that exact scenario.
Author Joe Paul
Join a Wine Club or do your own shopping? You see wine club ads that read “Taste our top 12 bottles for only $69.99”. Last month I spoke of hidden, cheap gems, and although some of these wine clubs are affiliated with decent wineries, the situation involves further investigating before pulling the trigger on a membership. Wine clubs can help you save up to 40% on wine, and you’ll get introduced to a variety. But are you really going to impress your dinner guests when you state “I got this from a wine club”? A good relationship with your local beer and wine store owner might be a better alternative in experimenting with your own taste in wine while stocking your wine cellar. I would first suggest seeing if any of the wines offered by the club can be bought locally. You can grab one (not twelve) of their cellar’s nectar and see if it’s up your alley. After all, wine drinkers aren’t afraid to try different things. They’ll be more impressed when you share the tale of how you discovered that bottle on your travels even if you only traveled to the local wine shop.
The thing about Opici is that they don’t put the year on the bottle, likely because nobody holds them for that long. This bottle I’d rediscovered was old and dusty. I reached out to the winery through their website and one of the family members, Don Opici, actually emailed me back. I emailed Don a photo of the bottle’s label and he was in shock that I’d kept the bottle for that long. My old Opici was bottled in California, and per Don, they had moved their bottling to New York over a decade earlier. By Don’s reckoning my bottle was likely at least 20 years old. Now you’re thinking a 20 year old cheap wine must taste like vinegar. Utterly wrong. It was smooth as silk! Now this doesn’t mean you should be guzzling down every old bottle you stumble across. I still have a 1983 Italian Gattinara Bara lingering in my cellar. I’m still doing research, hoping this old find is actually an old gem. But in my research I came across an old story about the 1978 Gattinara Bara vintage where they stated the wine was “tainted with traces of diethylene glycol”, which is an ingredient in antifreeze! This apparently came about as the substance was used to clean the hosing that the wine is pumped through, and then the hosing wasn’t thoroughly cleaned afterwards before the wine was introduced. Likely my old 1983 is safe, but it is very hard to find any other stories on old Gattinara’s beyond the infamous 1978 batch, so for now this bottle serves as a show piece in my collection until I come across more information.
Drink Responsibly.
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And getting back to the relationship you can build with your local booze guru, once I was at Stew Leonard’s (okay, I’ve been there far more than once) and kept seeing “Sung’s Top Picks”. I’m thinking “Who the hell is this Sung guy” and then suddenly, Sung pops up out of nowhere! He said “Hello, I am Sung” and asked me extensive questions about what wines I like and how much I was looking to spend. When I told him I like to grab some high enders along with the cheapos he recommended a plethora of excellent wines, and also introduced me to a Cooper & Thief red with 17% alcohol content. I grabbed a few of those and still have one in the cellar. If you do join a wine club, a good question to ask yourself is if they send you a wine that you end up liking, can you now easily obtain more of the same at your local wine shop? When you go on these wine explorations yourself and you find something that you like, you can always go back to that shop and quickly stock up. If your wine cash flow is limited, I’d suggest finding someone like Sung before you roll the bones on a wine club.
BOOKS
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EVERY DAD AND THEIR KIDDO SHOULD SPEND TIME IN THIS BOOK TOGETHER.
Buy This Book Now, Seriously. It Will Help You Clarify Your Message.
Tell people why they need to buy your product or service. Tell them clearly and immediately. Do not make them expend more energy than necessary to figure out what you can do for them. This book is about effective marketing. It is based on ancient story-telling techniques that have been proven to be effective. It is also about efficient marketing. If you are speaking to you’re target market and they aren’t listening, you are wasting resources. ‘Marketing works, if you do it right.’ In addition to the book, author Donald Miller has developed a series of ongoing webinars, Zoom events, and real life coaches certified in this approach to marketing. You may also want to check out the book Don co-authored with Dr. J.J. Peterson, Marketing Made Simple.
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MODERN POETRY EDGE CALLING by M.E. Shoe
Like the Aurora Borielis; across the caverns of my brain. Feelings of atmospheric anomalies, up beyond the thunderclouds of rain. I hear the echoes out there, spoken in the canyons of my past. When I would punch the accelerator; sometimes it went by too fast. Missing all the footprints of yesterday that show a path too many years ago. Those times getting lost in the jungle; no way Tarzan would even know. Now the edge is calling long distance. From a phone booth overlooking the rim. I saw the future from a rickety rope bridge; but the trail grew over. Haven’t seen it since, and so the edge is calling jail-house collect, with weather forecasts easy to predict. Way back there in my stomping ground. All the talk was always about the follies. Like a tourist, I still walk those streets, Taking the back-roads of good old memories. A sentimental traveler with tales untold. Good luck charms to keep from getting old. The ringing in my head... Is it the edge calling? If you hold onto the rails, You can keep yourself from falling.
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MUSIC
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KANSAS The Abscence of Presence
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“Buy it...seriously. That is all.” - me
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The Original Panama Hat - $97.99
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GEAR
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LIGHTNING AV HDMI ADAPTER for iPhone
The Apple Lightning AV HDMI Adapter is one of the coolest accesories available for the iPhone. I picked one up recently and was blown away by how simple the adapter makes it to connect your iPhone to any TV or display that has an HDMI port (HDMI cable sold seperately). As soon as I connected the iPhone to my TV and launched the Netflix app the screen automatically adjusted and I just had to make some popcorn. In addition to Netflix, YouTube videos are clearly represented, among other nifty apps like slideshows, video from your phone, and pretty much anything you would want to be able to see on a larger screen. Great for travel and impromptu presentations. For less than $50 (certified refurbished) it’s a wonderful deal. I can even stream the superbowl...honestly, I straight cancelled cable....just sayin’.
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WE BUILD STRONG, FRUITFUL BUSINESSES.
1-800-484-9825
Business Planning / Digital Marketing / Content Creation www.GeneralMediaConsulting.com
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A Standing Ovation
GP Magazine recommends the Ovation CE44-5 Acoustic-Electric Guitar. Gentlemen, it is so nice to be able to sit round with family and friends and strum a few tunes. Great for a beginner through intermediate guitarist. Reasonably priced at less that $500. Follow us on Instagram @gentlemanspurposeofficial to keep an eye on our ‘Product of the Week’ releases. www.GentlemansPurpose.com
1-800-484-9825
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ADVENTURE IS HAPPENING.
KEEP YOUR BALANCE IN ALL THINGS. FULFILL YOUR PURPOSE.
www.GentlemansPurpose.com
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TRAVEL
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ST. AUGUSTINE FLORIDA Written by Justin Gaynor
The oldest city in America is slowly re-opening and it’s ancient foundations are still firmly in place. St. Augustine, the man after whom the town is named , is one of the most well-known Christians in history. Somewhat of a mystic in the eyes of many, his extensive writings, not least his ‘Confessions’, revealed a man that was deeply aware of his own flaws and in desperate need of a Savior. Augustine’s devotion to serving Jesus is well-known. His ministry would eventually birth a man by the name of Martin Luther, who was an Augustinian monk. In Luther’s meditation and studies he found the Church in deep need of repentance. So he made known to the powers that be that they had gotten a few things wrong that needed to be put back to rights. This didn’t go over so well and to the deep sadness of Luther, it led to a major schism in the Church. As a matter of fact, society is still healing from it today. The truth is we need to always be reforming ourselves back to the image set forward for us as humans. We simply get things wrong from time to time and that’s ok, unless we insist on refusing to repent toward God. What does that have to do with our journey to the city of St. Augustine here in 2020? Well, the town was sort of like an older brother just coming off groundation due to Covid-19. However, a new day has dawned and all of the wonderful , nostalgic shops and restaurants are re-opening. As I strolled around the old city, I found many things to offer excitement to the senses. Conversations with local business owners. Small gardens and courtyards to meditate in. The fort, Castillo de San Marcos, was not open for tourist yet, but I was still able to traverse the beautiful, lush fields around it. To see ancient Spanish canons and to look out over the harbor at all of the amazing sailing vessels was a real joy. Do yourself a favor, and when you can, take a long weekend and rent a room at a little bed and breakfast in St. Augustine, Florida. Whether a romantic weekend with the Mrs. or some time to do some writing, thinking, and praying. You won’t regret it.
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KEY W
2020 LOBSTER SE 66
WEST
EASON IS OPEN!
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KEST WEST LOBSTER SEASON 2020 Written by Justin Gaynor
The first road trip I recall with my dad and ‘the boys’ was to the Florida Keys for lobster season. We loaded up into his buddy’s old green Jeep Cherokee and headed south from Central Florida to our base camp at Key Fiesta’s KOA campground. It was one of the most memorable times that I have had with my dad. He was a single dad at the time and we didn’t have a whole lot of money, so this was a big deal. Now, here we are around 30 years later and the opening of lobster season is still a huge event. There was some concern that the lobster mini-season wouldn’t open due to COVID-19 concerns. This would have been another devastating blow to the South Florida economy. Fortunately, that did not happen and the season was opened on time! The Key West Chamber of Commerce has officially confirmed that the mini-season will begin at 12:01am on Wednesday July 29th and end at midnight on Thursday July 30th. The two day mini-season occurs on the last consecutive Wednesday and Thursday of July, just before the regular season opens August 6th. The season will last till the end of March. So, if you are able to load up your gear with a few pals and your kiddos and head south tomorrow, you will be there in time for the mini-season. Make sure you check with the Florida Fish and Wildlife to make sure you have all the correct licensing, gear, and are up to date on the current regulations.
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BOYNTON BEACH DIVE CENTER
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Gentleman’s Purpose Believes In A Better Future.
Will You Believe With Us? A Financial Gift To The Mercy Fund of Christ Church Jerusalem Will Nourish The Root of The Tree We Have Been Grafted Into.
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