CHAPTER 7: 30 Ways to Assist a Person with Autism 1. Let them decompress in quiet areas when they need to. Their desire to be alone is not judgement on you, It is simple self-preservation. 2. If you need them to do something, give them very clear, unambiguous instruction. Do not feel like you are being rude doing this, but do not sound irritated or patronizing! 3. Do not expect them to react to things in a way you would expect. That way lies disappointment. They often show their emotions in very different ways to what you might expect. 4. Do not assume they are not capable of thought and feeling if they are non-verbal. Do not assume they are incapable of communicating in other ways either. 5. Do not expect autistic children to ‘grow out of’ being autistic. They will not. That does not happen. 6. Do not force them to wear particular clothing if they have a visceral negative reaction to it – its texture or fit might be causing significant discomfort and unhappiness. 7. Do not be upset if they do not wish to socialize with you, as they often have considerable limits in their capacity. However, do ask, as generally it is nice to get the opportunity. 8. Check in on autistic people from time to time. Do not be upset if they do not respond quickly – all socializing is stressful and many of them are very forgetful and disorganized! 9. Do not use banter or negative insulting humor to autistic people, unless you know they are OK with it from you specifically. 10. Remember all autistic people have a very different experience of autism – it is a huge, varied grab bag of traits, so any list like this has to be taken carefully. 11. Do not force them to make phone calls. Phone phobia is common for many autistic people and it can be very serious. If there is an alternative let them use if without judgement.
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