Editors Camille Conner María Cecilia Ayalde Designers Nack Kyoo Jung Jae Gyoung Oh Matthew Alvarez Photographer Alejandro Saldarriaga Illustrator Jae Gyoung Oh Writers Cristina Serrano Laura Cadena Camila Nieto José Gerardo Villela Sophia Noel Matías Kling Daniel Moreno Isabella Garcés Eugenia Camargo Rachel Coombs
Special Jesse Tangen Thanks to Sandra Janer Juan Bossa Andrés Murcia Sofía Parales
com(m)unicate 1 Cómo sobreviví un partido de Millos 3 Dangerous Situations 5 Surviving ADHD 6 Reynosa 7 IKEA: A Story of Madness, Meatballs and Survival 9 Surviving Honesty 10 Survivng Homework 11 Surviving 50 Shades of Grey 13 Vega Says Laughs 15 Survivng the Electronic Pull 16 La generación del fin 17 Surviving My Own Cuteness 19 Sobreviviendo a una ilusión 20 Surviving Christmas 21 J and K
Colegio NUEVA GRANADA
com(m)unicate
By: María Cecilia Ayalde Tal vez varios de ustedes, al leer este título, piensen que sobrevivir un partido de Millonarios no tiene nada de asombroso. Es más, es posible que muchos de ustedes ya hayan salido invictos de esta aventura. Pero apuesto a que ninguno de ustedes ha ido con dos personas cuyas personalidades sean más opuestas. Estoy hablando, damas y caballeros, de Salomón Shool y Mr. Viscardi. Antes de contarles mi travesía, les daré una breve descripción de cada uno de mis acompañantes: Para quienes no conozcan a Shool, o “cholazo”, les puedo decir que vive, come, respira y sueña una sola cosa: Millos. Si alguna vez han visto a un joven merodeando por el colegio pidiéndoles plata para “completar pal Todorico”, no se asusten. Están en presencia del señor Shool. Por el otro lado tenemos a un caballero que siempre anda de traje y corbata. Mr. Viscardi, el encargado de disciplina en 11 y 12, es un extranjero recién llegado al país, que hasta el día del partido, no sabía que era
“No” “¿Celular?” “Yes”
la lechona, ni mucho menos lo que “Millos, Millos tu papá” significaba. Ahora bien, conociendo el perfil de estos dos individuos pueden entender el calibre de lo que se venía. Pero sé que todo se preguntan:
“Guárdelo bien profe, no vaya y se lo refundan por allá” “… what?”
¿Cómo pasó esto? Afortunadamente yo estuve en el momento preciso para presenciar el nacimiento de esta extravagante aventura.
“Suertes que me voy” Dijo Salomón, y de esta manera partimos rumbo
Todo comenzó un día, a finales de Enero, en el que Shool se estaba
al estadio.
paseando por enfrente de la oficina de High School pidiendo una “colaboración voluntaria” para poder comprar el abono de los partidos de
Cuando llegamos al Campín, todo fluyó de maravilla. Pasamos todas las
su Millos del alma (un abono es un paquete con todos los tiquetes de
requisas, Viscardi compró una cachucha de millos (que mostrara menos
la temporada). En medio de su peregrinaje, se topó de frente con Mr.
su estado de extranjero), y cogimos sillas resguardadas de la lluvia.
Viscardi, quien accedió a darle los veinte mil que le faltaban a cambio
1
Cómo sobreviví un partido de Millos
de una cosa: llevarlo a un partido. Yo, que estaba sentada en una mesa
A pesar de la confusión de Viscardi al tratar de cantar los himnos, o
a pocos metros, quedé boquiabierta con lo que acababa de suceder, y
al oír a Shool cantar una de las dos mil quinientas barras de Millos, la
supe inmediatamente que no me lo podía perder.
pasamos muy bien y celebramos los goles al unísono. Al medio tiempo
Los días avanzaron lentamente hasta que por fin llegó el 3 de Febrero,
pudo degustar uno de los platos más típicos de Colombia, la lechona.
fecha en la que Millonarios arrancaría la copa Postobón enfrentándose
Y sin entender muy bien que animal era y como lo habían preparado,
a la “Equidad”. Ese mismo día, a las tres de la tarde en punto, yo estaba entrando al edificio de Salomón cuando distinguí una figura atrás mío. wdera de Colombia. Luego varios intentos fallidos del portero de tratar de pronunciar “Craig” por el citofono, opté por decir “de parte de María Cecilia” y logramos subir. Arriba nos esperaban Shool, con dos camisetas de millos en mano, y Alejandro Saldarriaga (fotógrafo de la revista). Todos estábamos muy ansiosos de salir, pero antes Shool decidió pasar lista de lo que llevaba Viscardi:
se la comió alegremente. Al finalizar el partido, salimos del estadio y nos encontramos a varios estudiantes que no pudieron resistirse y se tomaron fotos con él. Ahora que me siento a escribir este artículo, pienso que más que un partido, fue una oportunidad para conocer a las personas más a fondo. Así como nosotros aprendimos mucho de Viscardi, él aprendió mucho de nosotros. Los invito a todos a que hagan esto. No me refiero a que
“¿Billetera?”
inviten a Viscardi a todos sus planes, tranquilos. Me refiero a que de vez
“Nope.”
en cuando se tomen el tiempo para compartir su tiempo con personas
“¿Cinturón?”
que no conocen muy bien, porque quien sabe, de pronto terminan siendo muy interesantes.
2
Colegio NUEVA GRANADA
com(m)unicate
By: Camille Conner & Gregorio Sanchez
New to the school and teaching the popular Film and Journalism English class, Mr. Piper keeps a pretty low profile. However, many students will be surprised to know that their soft-spoken teacher is also a passionate mountain climber who has survived many dangerous encounters over his climbing career.
compass all of those things. He also says that he has no regrets regarding the dangers he has encountered. This is not a solo sport, so he always climbs with a partner just in case something bad should happen. More than anything, however, this partner is a companion
extreme sport, but Mr. Piper claims that it is
as opposed to a safety net. Mr. Piper calls this
the ability to have control over the fear that
one of the best parts of the sport: “sharing wild
makes it such an exciting pastime. He describes
experiences with someone else in close ways.”
the fear involved in climbing as two different
It would also be an interesting way to get to
types: rational and irrational. Rational fear is
know people in a different sense than a usual
of something serious and possibly life-threat-
urban environment, having someone’s back as
ening while irrational fear is of something that
you both climb a mountain would be a sure
is not such a serious threat. He explains that
way to become friends.
rock climbing.
Climbing is a way to have complete control of your body while nearly no control over your
:It can be tricky to know which is which when
environment and factors it may present. This
you’re in the moment.”
extreme sport teaches many lessons, such as
Being able to make this distinction is an important aspect of the sport because it may mean the difference between injury and a great time.
perseverance and discipline. It is very much about personal accomplishment and, according to Mr. Piper, “a great metaphor for life: trying all the time to do better and bigger things, dedicating yourself to achieving certain goals,
Fear is something that everyone experiences
and pushing your natural fears.” It is apparent
differently. When people are younger they
that, for having so many dangers involved,
tend to be more fearless and take more risks
climbing is actually a very healthy sport that
while climbing. Yet as people grow older they
can teach you many things if you do it properly.
tend to become more careful with how much they push themselves and how much they can do. Mr. Piper explained that when he began rock climbing at a young age “pursuing the sport took [him] into situations that [he] prob-
3
Climbing would definitely be the sport to en-
Of course there is a lot of fear involved in this
both of these fears can be experienced while
Dangerous Situations
new places and environments.”
ably wouldn’t want to recreate now that [he’s] a bit older.”
Mr. Piper reminds us that it is important to keep your goals straight and to know when enough is enough. People involved in this extreme sport may be motivated by reasons other than personal goals and accomplishments, and that can be risky in a sport that comes with so many risks of its own. He stresses the importance
We’ve established now that rock climbing is
of having balance in life: “I’m super proud of
without a doubt a very dangerous hobby. So,
and satisfied with all of my mountaineering
why would one continue to pursue it?
accomplishments, but I’ve turned over some
“The idea of controlling fear, challenging myself to accomplish new things, and experiencing
new pages in my life which are just as cool and deserving of my time as climbing once was.”
4
Colegio NUEVA GRANADA
com(m)unicate
By: José Gerardo Villela
Surviving ADHD
Reynosa
By: Sophia Noel
March 1999, it was a sunny afternoon; I sat in my booster seat and admired the bits of green emerging from the cobblestone roads. The trees sprouted evenly, each the same distance from the one before. The grass was splotched with yellow-green weeds and the sky was clear blue with almost no clouds. Little did I know, this day would initiate the label I would wear for the rest of my school years. I turned and with bright green eyes looked at my mom who was attempting to avoid taxis and motorcycles. “Mami…” I said, “The trees are talking to me.” She jerked the steering wheel, nearly brushing the taxi in front of her and turned to me “What?! Honey what are they saying to you?” I smiled, looked back, and with the most innocent five-year-old eyes said, “They are telling me to hurt lots and lots of people.” My mother froze. My smile widened. After the incident, my mother tested me for various neural disorders, including schizophrenia. I picked the clay dough out of my hair for weeks after the measuring of my brain waves. To everyone’s surprise I was a perfectly normal child, except, for one thing: I had ADHD. Back then, ADHD was not a widely known learning disability but it was prevalent. My brain doesn’t produce enough of the chemical dopamine. My brain also shows a much slower metabolism in areas that control my attention span. Through out the years I have struggled emotionally, physically, and academically because of my disability. Having the attention span of a gold fish, it was very hard for me to pay at-
middle school; yet with my slow responses, slow reflexes, and lack of filters, I did just that. I had to learn to cope with my academic struggles and control my impulsive behavior. It is something I have yet to fully accomplish, but I can say that I have come a long way since then.
tention in my classes and remember to turn in
I went from a C/B student in middle school and early high school to a straight A (with an occa-
my work. My teachers detested me, as I was
sional B) student in 11th and 12th grade. I accomplished my goals of getting into the NHS, learning
usually the disturbance of the classroom’s
Mandarin, and challenging my self to up to 4 AP courses a year. The struggle has not been an
Zen-like atmosphere. As the years progressed
easy one, but if I had to give a brief definition of my high school years it would be that “I survived
I became more and more embarrassed about
ADHD.”
my low grades and lack of impulse-control. In
5
middle school my self-esteem hit an all time low. Nobody wants to stick out like a sore thumb in
The oil business can take you to many places. It can take you to the exotic land of Saudi Arabia or the powerful country of Russia. It can also take you to Reynosa. Now, most of you have probably never heard of Reynosa, and I completely understand that. Reynosa isn’t Mexico City or Cancun. Reynosa is probably unlike anything you’ve ever seen. I could tell you that Reynosa is a magical land filled with hopes and dreams, but that would be a lie.
all started when the municipal president of the city moved to the same neighborhood as my grandmother. A wall encompassed it with “Montecasino” written in thick black letters above the gate. With the years, these walls started multiplying. When I went to see my old house, I found myself facing a wall. Las Leonas, the street I lived on, had been encased in walls along with the other streets of the Los Leones neighborhood.
Reynosa is located in Tamaulipas, the northeastern state of Mexico, and borders the city of McAllen, Texas. Now, you might be thinking, “Cool! The US is right around the corner!” Well, considering the current state of violence in Mexico and that this is a border state we’re talking about, this is more of a burden than a blessing. Being welcomed in the airport by a poster showing three criminals linked with drug trafficking is anything but charming. At least, that’s what I thought as I stared at the pictures of Miguel Angel “El Comandante” Travion, Jaime “El Hummer” Gonzales, and “El Verdugo” Heriberto “El Verdugo” Lazcano. This last one had a large red X over it. Using my advanced analytical skills, I deduced that he was probably captured. Perhaps this was an attempt to communicate some sort of message telling immigrants to not worry since one out of every three criminals is captured. I certainly felt safer. However, safe doesn’t necessarily mean comfortable
Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing keeping in mind the situation regarding security in Reynosa. In fact, some might consider this a good thing. People living there find themselves in their own little haven with big white walls separating them from the scary and dangerous outside world. Well, this would be the case if people actually lived in there. Don’t get me wrong. Reynosa isn’t a ghost town. That would be a completely different story. However, it still is pretty unpopulated. Upon entering my grandmother’s neighborhood for the first time during the trip, I immediately saw a great contrast between the greatly illuminated neighborhoods of Bogota and the eerie darkness of Montecasino. The only lights in sight were the municipal president’s house, my grandmother’s house, and a third house in the distance. The dim neighborhood kind of bugged me, but I just shrugged it off. Maybe this neighborhood was mostly populated by old people who couldn’t be bothered to decorate their homes. After all, my grandmother’s house had less lights than most Christmas trees. Who am I to judge? However, upon returning to the neighborhood during times of daylight, I noticed something: these lawns had a severe lack
My stay in Reynosa was overall simply uncomfortable. This was due to how unrecognizable it was to me. One of the biggest reasons behind this is the fact that everything was suddenly walled in. Big white walls appeared everywhere. It
of care. Wait, these houses aren’t populated by old people. They are abandoned! Now, every city has abandoned houses or apartments, but, when these abandoned houses outnumber the populated ones, you have a problem. But Reynosa wasn’t always like this. Reynosa used to be a prosperous city. With the discovery of more oil, this city became on of the top five fastest growing cities in Mexico. Don’t believe me? Look it up on Wikipedia. I know this because I was there as it happened. I saw this city grow. I was there when the first mall, Plaza Periferico, opened. I saw an HEB leak out of Texas into Reynosa. I lived in the international petroleum community. My best friend was Argentinian, and my classmates included a Colombians and a Venezuelans. Nowadays, the closest thing to an immigrant you’ll find in Reynosa is someone from Monterrey. The city is abandoned and is rotting as a result. The large houses that were once impressive are now deteriorating. The statues and fountains are falling apart. The overgrown grass is filling with pests. The only club of the city is now a measly pool with three tennis courts lying adjacent to it. Because of violence, Reynosa was abandoned midgrowth and is now simply a shell of what it could have been.
6
Colegio NUEVA GRANADA
com(m)unicate
By: Laura Cadena The new homeowner’s journey to IKEA has become an establish-
number of pages the word “Pope” has. Although this might seem a bit
ment within American society. One could even go as far as to call it a
ridiculous, I can attest to the fact that they were quite wonderful and,
pilgrimage.
had they not been sold at IKEA, I would gladly have returned on a sep-
Unfortunately, to satisfy our mother’s disproportionate obsession with curtains, my brothers and I were lured in by this modern-age Mecca to
The true terror began when we entered the actual store. I suppose I
join the masses of IKEA consumers. Little did we know what we were
have a highly romanticized view of furniture stores. I tend to think of
about to face.
them as small display rooms with a musty smell and a perfectly eccentric
The IKEA at 1 Beard Street, Brooklyn, New York, is a massive cadmium yellow and navy blue building that could easily be confused with a Goodyear warehouse had it not been for the colossal IKEA sign placed precariously at the edge of the top story. The building is surrounded
I wasn’t expecting this from a store of IKEA’s proportions, but I most definitely did not expect the labyrinth that lay before me. Yelp did not prepare me for this. The store has four stories and to get from one to the other you must
hundreds of cars, waiting impatiently to enter the underground garage
cross the entire floor. Doing this, however, is nearly impossible. Upon
area. To the right of the main entrance you can see the mouth of the
entering one room you will notice that there are at least three different
Hudson River and, in the near distance, the Statue of Liberty.
directions you can take that will lead you to other rooms with possibly
er take a car, my brothers and I cheerfully stepped through the sliding doors of the main entrance. After that, everything changed. Stepping into IKEA is like stepping into an alternate reality, a masterfully planned universe dictated by a guarantee of consumption. The first room we entered was narrow, and surprisingly plain, with nothing more than some cut out figures of satisfied customers leading us to
7
salesman who curates every piece carefully and thoughtfully. Of course
by a moat-like road that is nearly always gleaming with the reflection of
Laughing at the poor fools that failed to read the Yelp warning to nev-
IKEA: A Story of Madness, Meatballs, and Survival
arate occasion.
one single escalator. As we made our ascent, a sudden, glorious, wafting smell nearly knocked us over. Searching madly for its providence, we laid eyes on the first of IKEA’s traps: the cafeteria. Begrudgingly, I admit that we fell for this trap and decided it was best if we powered up before embarking on our quest for curtains.
even more paths. The divisions between rooms are also tall enough that there is no possible way you could spot the exit from afar. The only option is to join the constant current of people following arrows on the floor that parade you around every nook, corner, and display. I was oddly reminded of national geographic videos of Scottish sheep flocks being driven around a field for no purpose whatsoever. What was even more overwhelming, especially with my quaint vision of furniture stores, was the immense variety of products. There were, quite literally, fifty meter rows dedicated solely to cupcake decorations: cupcake sprinkles for kids, for boys, for girls, for teens, for hipsters, for punks, for weddings, for birthday parties, for bar mitzvahs, for bat mitzvahs, for first communions, and even for funerals. The diversity was disorienting. So disorienting that from one second to another my
While my brothers went to order at the counter, I decided to save a table
cart was filled with the most unnecessary objects. I think I might have
that we had luckily spotted. This task proved harder than I had imagined.
even momentarily considered buying toothpicks. Why? I have no idea.
No sooner had I sat down than I had to confront the gut-wrenching gaze
Toothpicks have no value to me unless they are properly placed in
of an obviously frustrated soccer mom who had also spotted the table
Marlon Brando’s mouth and I’m feeling sentimental.
from afar. After she had finished mentally cursing at me, I had to face an Asian family that attempted to steal my chairs and was clearly playing the fact that they did not speak English to their advantage. Sitting there, looking out the window, everything seemed too intentional: the placement of the Statue of Liberty overlooking the bay, pairs of newly weds giggling while sipping Swedish juices, first semester college freshmen nervously checking their shopping lists, and newly single parents warily waiting in line. Everyone gathered at this bizarre starting point.
After passively following the flock for hours and it came time to exit, I felt drained and nothing like myself. I was starting to wonder what the Elderflower juice’s side effects were when I looked around and saw the emptiness I felt reflected in the face of nearly every other customer. The people I had seen sitting in the cafeteria, eager for a fresh start, could not have looked more worn. Looking out the window at the Hudson and once more at the Statue of Liberty, I vowed never to return to IKEA, a place I am certain I will not be able to fully escape from next time.
When the food finally arrived I was surprised to see that my brothers had ordered three of the same plate: Swedish meatballs. Apparently, in this pilgrimage the equivalent of lamb and samosas is meatballs and elderflower juice, a classic Swedish favorite. In fact, if, at this very moment, you were to google images of “IKEA meatballs” you would have no less than forty-two pages of results, only three pages away from the
8
Colegio NUEVA GRANADA
com(m)unicate
By: Mathias Kling
By: Daniel Moreno
Surviving Honesty What is honesty? Honesty is a complex thing,
some it might actually be “yes” but is modified
Usually the people that are considered jerks
Finally home after a long day of school. I should
It’s 7:17, I’ll wait until 7:30 and continue after
sleep. Maybe someone on Skype can give me
so complex that if you looked it up in a dictio-
slightly to “no honey, you look beautiful.” Yet
are people that speak their minds and say what
probably start my homework. Does it smell like
dinner. Nice, chicken wings for dinner. I’ll watch
the answers. “Hi Mathias, did you finish the
nary it would say something along the lines of
for other couples she may not be fat in any
they feel. Aren’t these people the most hon-
s’mores? Yup, I’m definitely hungry. Maybe I’ll
an episode of Dexter while I eat, thank God for
Social Studies homework?”… “Minecraft? Sure,
“the quality of being honest.” We are taught to
way, which leaves only one answer, no, which
est? Think about it, if they always answer in a
grab a snack before I start working. But who
Netflix. After this episode I’ll finish my home-
send me the IP…Yeah, of course we can do
be true to honesty ever since we can remem-
may be taken the wrong way. By saying no you
way that comes across as mean, but what they
can enjoy a snack without entertainment? I
work. Ok, 8:40, I’ll do 3, 4, 5, and 6, and then I’ll
Tangen’s homework together after we play!”
ber; we are taught that the honest prevail over
are being honest, but she may not believe that
say is always true, then at least they are not
guess I’ll watch an episode of Two and a Half
rest a while. Done with 3 and 4, I should prob-
the dishonest. However, honesty can be a bad
you are being honest, then call you a liar when
lying. These people are the people that speak
Men, I mean it is still early. Well that was fun. I’ll
ably grab dessert. Hmm, interesting, Chavez
thing in some cases. It can make you uncom-
all you were trying to do was be honest.
their minds and say the comments that other
watch one last episode before I go to my room.
hasn’t tweeted anything since November.
people do not. Honesty makes these people
A quick game of FIFA would do me no harm,
What was I about to do? Right, watch the soc-
into who they are, and give them some person-
maybe even two.
cer highlights of the day, nice win Barcelona.
Woah, how long was I asleep? Is it 6:18 already?
Ok it’s already 9:00 I should get on task. 5 and
Ok, I’ll just play Black Ops until its 6:30. 6:36, I’ll
6 are done for; let’s celebrate by logging in to
start working at 6:45. Ok, lets start. Question 1:
Facebook again. Besides I only have to do 6 more questions.
fortable, or make you look like a jerk if you actually were to speak your mind, but that is when a white lie comes in handy.
Some people say that a white lie cannot hurt anybody. It may conceal the truth, but sometimes the truth hurts. We all have that one
ality traits that others may not like. However, the jerks might be the only honest ones among
Have you been ever asked a question where
thing that drives us nuts about someone else,
there are many right answers but some, while
but for the purpose of maintaining the friend-
maybe not so truthful, are the ones that you
ship we keep it to ourselves. It might be a twin
I believe that a white lie is better than a painful
Why did the French monarchy crumble? That
are expected to say? You answer in this way
brother, the way they talk, how they act around
nugget of truth. Honesty is a complex thing,
should be easy enough. 2. How did the French
to not look like a jerk or to get on somebody’s
certain people, or many other possibilities.
you need to know how to manage it: if it is used
Revolution affect the rest of the world? This
good side, yet you know it’s a lie. Honesty can
That person may ask you repetitively what is
in the wrong way people may not like you so
one should take me a bit more.
… Two Hours Later
get you in trouble with in such situations. For
wrong but still you just keep your mouth shut
much. Honesty can be either a winning char-
example, there is the simple question that
and say, “nothing.” He knows that something is
acteristic or a horrible flaw, depending on how
Done with number 2, I’ve worked hard enough.
Gaaaaaaaaaah!!! I hate high school I get so
the female asks her male partner on a regu-
wrong, but you choose not to tell him and say
you use it.
I deserve a break. 9gag sounds good. Ok, I
much homework!!! It’s 11 o’clock; I have 3 more
lar basis: “do I look fat?” Now the answer to
a white lie.
think I’ve seen enough memes for an evening,
questions to go. I just love how I have to wake
let’s see what Facebook has to offer.
up tomorrow at 6:00, so much for 8 hours of
this question is different for many couples, for
9
Surviving Homework
us.
Ok, I have been working from 6 in the afternoon up to now. I hate my teachers. Finally done with my reading blog, I’ll check YouTube before I go to sleep.
… At 2am “Good night Mathias… Yeah I still have a ton of homework!” Oh great, nothing a cup of coffee can’t fix.
10
Colegio NUEVA GRANADA
com(m)unicate
By: Isabella Gárces
I feel like I’m back in the Twilight era, suffering from inhumane girly
a novel that will not shrink to twenty pages if you take out all the times
shrieks as they accost my bleeding ears, wondering how it is possible
the heroine blushes or chews her lips. Just a thought.
for glitter to succeed in making a vampire more manly, and questioning people’s literary tastes. But said disgust has slowly dwindled now that I am confronted by an altogether more pathetic attempt at writing: 50
Billionaires aren’t in their twenties. A man who speaks perfect French, is
Shades of Grey should be the new capital punishment. Read it and I
a concert-level pianist and a fully trained pilot while also a great athlete
assure you it will make you wish you were dead.
deigned the genes of a Greek God, is not real. Add to that his sexual prowess and the fact that he is self-made and using his money to combat world-hunger? I’m pretty sure he’s currently traveling with Care Bears to
You see, I actually value my willingness to live and so I refrained from con-
the Forest of Feelings because reality on earth just doesn’t find him fit
tinuing to bask in the unending pages of bland, vapid writing and eternal
for its credible and flawed society. I’m aware this is a work of fiction, but
“Oh my”’s (there are seventy nine throughout the entire book). I apol-
unless the story is about mechanically engineered robots, you expect
ogize if I’m not really into a ‘novel’ that undermines feminism because
the human characters to have flaws, to be believable, to be human. You
the protagonist is a weak, awkward mannequin that bends to the will of
also expect to have a somewhat credible backstory that enables and
an otherwise troubled, borderline psychopathic billionaire. Mentally ill
contributes to the plot in an intelligible manner. Just because Grey had
males with troubled pasts are not sexy. One critic even wrote: “If I didn’t
a rough childhood does not entitle him to be an abusive domineering
know this was a romance, I would have thought Anastasia would have
brute of a man. According to Shades Magazine, Fifty Shade of Grey “
eventually woken up on a steel table wrapped in plastic, Dexter style”.
has kick-started a sexual revolution and its’ the catalyst for a national
Not exactly what one should like to expect from their significant other.
conversation about lust, love, erotic fiction and the give-and-take that occurs in any successful relationship. It’s also hot as hell. Fifty Shades is a dominant force in the culture, and like you, we’re more than happy
But what can you expect from a woman who originally wrote the story
to submit to it.” Frankly, Fifty Shades is pulp fiction that lacks decent
as a Twilight fanfiction under the penname of Snowqueens Icedragon? I
writing and worships what should otherwise be the stigmatized idea of
think she deserves at least some type of credit for the creativity of the
sex through the means of pain and power. It is stultifying prose and if it
latter, I can honestly say the name ‘Snowqueens Icedragon’ had never
really is a ‘dominant force’ in our culture than that just shows how pitiful
before graced my ears. And the catching phrase “My inner goddess is
our culture is.
doing the dance of the seven veils” really is the paramount of flawless
11
Surviving 50 Shades of Grey
imagery and biblical-incited allusions. As for her repetition of the words “Crap” 101, “Jeez” 82, “Holy (something)” 172, “Inner goddess” 58, and
I wasted half an hour of my life and ten dollars of my Amazon savings on
“Subconscious” 82, I think we should give her break. Fine. If I’m being
a book that surpassed sales for the literary classic Gone With the Wind.
honest, Miss Snowqueens Icedragon should progress to less juvenile
I willed the weights on my eyelids to vanish so I would be conscious if
aliases, figure out how to write a phrase containing “the dance of the
the book chose to redeem itself. But my eyelids drooped and the prose
seven veils” in a way that will not offer you comic relief, and learn a thing
remained stagnant. I was rendered unconscious and my brain practically
or two about the words “Holy cow” and how they are not regularly used
fried from so many “internal goddesses’” it’s a wonder I managed to stay
by Literature majors in their mid-twenties. Also, she should try to write
alive.
12
Colegio NUEVA GRANADA
com(m)unicate
By: Eugenia Camargo
Mr. Vega:
Pizza time:
• Lecture. Group work. Quiz.
• I hope you know this.
• Oh boy.
• Aaaaaaaaand
• If this is this, that is that.
• Wroooooooooong.
• And that’s like algebra 1 so…
• Mr. Vega: Ingredients = Cheese and
pepperoni.
Interview time:
• Interviewer: Mister, what do you feel
you
say a lot?
• Mr. Vega: Hahahahahahaha
• Interviewer: Who’s the funniest
student? Class time:
•Student: Mister I don’t understand this
• Mr. Vega: Ninguno! We are here to
learn not to fool around.
part!
• Mr. Vega: Paila
Torture time:
• Mr. Vega: If I did it in college, you have
• Student: Mr. Vega, is this right?
to do it now…
• Mr. Vega: Don’t ever ask me what 6x8
is!
13
Vega Says Laughs
Skyward time:
(Student tells the story later)
• Student: Solano you got a 3.0?!!!!
• Mr. Vega: *Laughing uncontrollably* I
• Mr. Vega: Hahahahaha oh Solano!
do say that.
Classic student comment:
Awards time:
• Mr. Vega: The awards go to the people
with the best GPA.
•Mr. Vega laughs at everything! The only
time he’s serious is when you’re doing
well in the class.
My last name is Mr. Vega. True statement.
14
Colegio NUEVA GRANADA
com(m)unicate
By: María Cecilia Ayalde
n
Akerma By: Jack
Surviving the Electronic Pull
La generación del fin
Constantly, alone or with friends, I find myself dis-
Pero probablemente el fin del mundo más recor-
connected from the real world. I feel disconnected
dado por mi generación fue el del 2012. Los Mayas,
when I start relentlessly surfing the web, browsing
una civilización ancestral muy poderosa y sabía,
Facebook, or just playing a video game. But it is not
habían declarado que al completarse un ciclo as-
only at home, immerged in an electronic device,
trológico, ocurriría el fin de una era. Tal vez varios
where I feel disconnected. Whenever I hang out
escépticos pensaban que “fin de una era” se refería
with my friends and they take out their cellphones
a algún cambio espiritual, y que los que íbamos a
in the middle of the conversation silence just hangs
ser modificados éramos los hombres, no la tierra.
in the air for five minutes. They will quickly write a
‘Habrase visto algo así’ pensaba yo, ‘¿con qué au-
message, skim their e-mail, and who knows what
toridad y evidencia osan estos hombres a dudar
else. Then the typical comment will be: “Where
de una profecía fatalista?’ Aquel pensamiento me
were we?” Consciously or not, we are living in an
llenaba de indignación. Pero, mientras estos no
era with a constant ‘electronic pull’. People get
creyentes gozaban de una vida sin propósito, yo,
together, but place their cellphone at a reachable
como una mujer atenida y cautelosa, me preparaba
distance. A cell phone interruption has become
para lo peor. En vez de pasar tiempo dedicándome
not only excusable, but also normal.
en el colegio y aquellas obligaciones que iban a acabar prontamente, me ocupaba en asegurar mi
This ‘pull’ is omnipresent. It exists wherever you go.
vida. En tiempo récord construí un garaje subter-
In a restaurant, a TV screen might catch your atten-
ráneo en un parque cercano y lo llene de comida
tion and you’ll become deaf to the outside world.
y provisiones. Duré todo ese día escondida en mi
It is not until someone makes eye contact with you, touches you, or blocks your sight that you realize
take out her iPhone to play a quick game, such as Scramble with Friends. Conversation suddenly pauses
Me imagino en muchos años sentada en mi mecedora enfrente de una acogedora chimenea, rodeada por
that time flew and that you’ve been stuck to the
and resumes afterwards.
mis nietos, quienes esperan ansiosos a oír las anécdotas de la abuela Ceci. Y mientras todos me piden
screen for ten minutes. Your intention might have been to catch a glimpse of a game score or preview the newsflash, yet you were unable to disconnect and lost perception of time. This occurs everywhere, at any time, in everything you might do. You might quickly want to play a round at some video game and so you continually keep postponing things that are actually important. While you have to do your homework. You
The most worrying aspect to me is what we will become. If this is what the older generations are, just imagine a generation that was born with this ‘electronic pull’. Will we text ourselves even when standing
con alaridos diferentes historias del milenio pasado, les contaré aquella que considero más heroica y admirable: Como sobreviví al fin del mundo (en repetidas ocasiones).
búnker, y al caer la noche salí para descubrir, con tristeza, que la profecía si se había cumplido: ¡Los mayas habían pasado por Bogotá y habían dejado la ciudad llena de basura! Unos pobres sobrevivientes, equipados con un apenas un tapabocas,
beside one another? Will it be offensive to speak directly to someone? I don’t know, but I don’t want to
“Todo comenzó en 1996, cuando tan solo tenía un año. Para ese entonces el psíquico Sheldan Nidle
navegaban en lo que parecían ser naves extrater-
find out.
predijo que el 17 de Diciembre llegarían a la tierra 16 millones de naves espaciales que destruirían nuestro
restres de un planeta chatarra en un esfuerzo por
planeta sin piedad alguna. Claro, como yo era tan pequeña, mi supervivencia salvaron de aquel acto
acabar con el olor nauseabundo que inundaba el
siniestro.
ambiente.
self. Doing one hour of homework might bring as a reward half an hour of messing around… but ONLY
Luego vino Marilyn J Agee, una escritora que utilizó sus mejores habilidades matemáticas para predecir
A pesar del dolor de ver a mi ciudad y a mi gente
half an hour.
el día del juicio final. Según ella, los días en los que el Señor Jesucristo regresaría a esta tierra fueron:
en condiciones paupérrimas, supe que mi pla-
Marzo 31, Junio 7, Junio 14, Junio 21 y Septiembre 20 de 1998. Cinco fechas en las que tu abuela, niña y
neación, humildad y cuidado no fueron en vanos.
llena de terror, mantuvo la compostura y sobrevivió cualquier vicisitud presentada.
Muchos me llamaron “loca” y “supersticiosa”, pero
Surviving this pull, this temptation, is easier than you might think. You must continuously object to these waves that screens send. Keeping to your time limits and goals also works. You must be strict with your-
might want to see a single post on 9gag or check a
Most people may not keep to their time limits and would continue delaying and procrastinating. If this is
notification on Facebook but you start making up
the case for you, I suggest tattling siblings. If you keep them close and you diverge from what you should
excuses for yourself: “just until one post is really
be doing, they’ll immediately start with: “If you keep playing I’ll go and tell Mommy that you’ve been
Me saltaré algunos años de proezas para llegar al 6 de Junio del 2006. Para ese entonces ya tenía 11 años
good and funny” or “I just have to stalk one more
playing instead of doing homework”. Of course there is a weakness to this method: bribes and blackmail.
y entendía lo que se aproximaba. El aclamado “6-6-6” hacía alusión al número del diablo, lo cual suponía
interesting person.”
This is what you must abstain from. It is much easier than keeping yourself to your time limits, but you
un fin inmediato para nuestro mundo (por lo menos para los católicos). Las calles se llenaban de terror a
Entonces, cuando todos queden sorprendidos con
must resist.
medida que el reloj se acercaba a las 6 pm. Recuerdo que ese día llegué a casa del colegio y me acosté al
mis hazañas, me admiren y me llamen “heroína”, los
lado de mi reloj. Los minutos volaban. 5:59. Cerré los ojos. Los volví a abrir y vi con alivio 6:01. “¡Sobreviví!”
mandaré a dormir satisfecha con mi historia.
A quick browse might become an hour that could’ve been much more useful. A single episode might
I assigned my siblings ‘police standing’ to make sure that homework is completed. In return, I remind them
become three or four. The most worrying thing is
of it too. If my sister’s efficiency starts decreasing I’ll remind her and she can decide to take my advice, or
that this is happening to older generations as well.
not. It is an agreement with mutual benefits, but it may be annoying.
My dad may suddenly take out his BlackBerry to view his email in the middle of conversation with the excuse that it is work related. My mom might
There are many more solutions to this 21st century problem, this is just one. We have to face this pull and do something about it. We must control the temptation before it controls us.
pensé, y desde ese momento supe que había nacido en este mundo con una misión: contar mi historia.
a diferencia de aquellos que se mofaban de mí, yo sigo aquí vivita y coleando.”
Y espero que todos ustedes hagan lo mismo.
Cinco años después, durante el 2011, sobreviví varios apocalipsis, tales como el 21 de Mayo (anunciado
Pongámonos de acuerdo y borremos cualquier ev-
por Robert Fitzpatrick), el 21 de Octubre (anunciado por una radio cristiana que afirmó que el día del
idencia de que ninguna de estas profecías se llevó
juicio si vendría un día 21, como había dicho Fitzpatrick, pero de otro mes), y claro, el 11-11-11, porque es
a cabo. De esta manera siempre seremos recor-
lógico que al mundo le gusta esperar a fechas palíndromas para acabarse.
dados como “la generación del fin: viviendo como héroes y muriendo como mártires”
15
16
Colegio NUEVA GRANADA
com(m)unicate
By: Daniel Moreno
I don’t think the title of this article is self-ex-
Oedipus conflict, I doubt the mother-cub ap-
planatory. I don’t want to sound conceited, or
proach is the most effective. However, I have
overly fond of my cheeks (believe me, I’m not).
found that my cheeks are a good conversation
As well, I am not complaining, but it is almost
starter. I have to admit many of my conversa-
impossible for me to write this objectively.
tions start with a reference to my cuteness,
Often, people characterize me as cute. I am blind to this observation, because I would like to look into the mirror and see a sexy womanizer instead of a cute puppy. However, I have this
17
Surviving My Own Cuteness
such as: “has anyone told you how cute you are?” I always try to be as modest as possible, and play hard to get when people ask if they can pinch them.
particular ability to appeal to a woman’s moth-
It is almost as if my cheeks have a personality
erly instinct. Maybe it is all about my chubby
of their own. In fact, I have an interesting sto-
cheeks or my baby-like build, but somehow
ry of how I got them. They developed from a
girls feel the need to tease me in a mother-ba-
skewed mouth-capacity to love-of-food ratio. I
by kind of way. As soon as they lay eyes on me
tried to find more ways to store more and more
they get this weird half smile, and their hands
food in my mouth so that I could eat faster, and
prepare to grope for cheeks. But what really
somehow my cheeks became warehouses that
creeps me out is that guys do it too.
eventually acquired their current size.
I’m not saying that I don’t like the attention. In
Now comes the tricky survival part. It is almost
fact, that is one of the few perks of the burden
impossible for me to go from class to class or
of cuteness. It’s only that sometimes I have to
to pass through the amphi in lunch without
say “Hey, stop staring at my cheeks, my eyes
having a senior or a junior try to grab at my
are up here.” Maybe you have had to face the
cheeks. It is almost as if my cheeks have been
same situation, especially if you are a girl that is
declared public property. Everything has its
“well endowed,” so I hope many of you can re-
pros and cons.
late to the fact that after a while it gets boring. I think my cheeks give me some personality. However, this first impression of “cuteness” is often overwhelmed by my arrogance, and what
If I sum it all up, I think I’m glad to have my cheeks: they are a big part of who I am, and they inspired me greatly to write this article.
I think is intelligence (it might be the arrogance
But remember ladies, no pinching until the
speaking).
third date.
I wish I could say my cheeks are natural chick magnets, but unless she has some kind of
18
Colegio NUEVA GRANADA
com(m)unicate
By: Cristina Serrano
Sobreviviendo a una ilusión
whole group was singing and I was trying to follow
Lo ideal hubiese sido ir a Nueva York y después
ya no disimula nada. Un personaje peculiar colea
esquinas de ingenio. ¿Acaso esas esquinas no
along with songs I had never heard of before. At one
morir. Habiendo ya matado a esa persona que
en su bicicleta cargando kilos de basura en su
son museos también?
point I stopped shaking my maraca. When Norma
la noche de un 24 de diciembre abordó el avión
espalda y dos parlantes que reproducen la voz
que, sin estar completamente consciente, la
distante de un tenor. En las calles de Brooklyn
llevaría a su destino (que para ella era todavía
se oye el eco extraviado de Pagliacci y yo soy
tan solo un sueño de muchos escritores y di-
invisible.
rectores), ¿Quién, entonces desembarcó en la
saw this she took my hand and insisted that I play.
Fue sobrecogedor absorber tanta información.
Ok lady, don’t worry, I’ll play my maraca for you. So
Más insignificante se volvía mi existencia en
I started shaking my maraca and smiling at Norma
tanto más entraba en contacto con el mundo.
until she looked satisfied.
Nueva York es el mundo, y despiadadamente te
Cómo cualquier persona sensible, yo dudo de
pone en perspectiva. Ahora entiendo a los taba-
After a few songs a group of girls walked up to the
mi existencia por lo menos una vez por semana.
co-dependientes-pasea-perros. Es imposible no
front of the room and looked as though they were
La rutina metafísica, sin embargo, cesó en Nueva
sumirse en la eterna abstracción en un lugar tan
about to sing. “Do you want to join them?” Norma
Sobrevivir a Nueva York es tal vez más triste que
York. Si de algo estaba segura era de mi presen-
indiferente al individuo. Es inquietante ver cómo
asks me.
difícil.
cia en aquel momento y lugar. No solo en un pla-
cada transeúnte se siente el único en la urbe. Y
no físico, pues el penetrante frio no deja olvidar
esta conciencia individualista no queda impune.
al peatón de la existencia de su cuerpo indefen-
En Nueva York no hay rostros, solo sombras.
inconsolable madrugada de esa ciudad? ¿Quién escribe esto?
Pisé Nueva York por primera vez un 25 de diciembre pocos minutos antes del amanecer. Llovía, y yo tenía frio y sueño. La materia que compone mi cuerpo y la ropa que llevaba encima y guardaba en una maleta se desplazaban gregariamente por el desolado aeropuerto. Unas horas después, sin explicarme cómo, ni saber en qué momento sucedió, llegué al lugar que por las siguientes quince noches me daría cobijo. Probablemente tome un taxi amarillo, de conductor extranjero, probablemente nos perdimos buscando la dirección, pero la circunstancia escapa mi memoria. Yo solo recuerdo los edificios.
so y vulnerable, pero en un plano mental, pues no hubo objeto ni idea que se escapara al cauteloso examen de mis sentidos y mente. Lo que no me cabía en la cabeza era que aquellos edificios, aquellas calles, semáforos, personas, abrigos, existieran. Todavía me es difícil aceptar la existencia de Nueva York. Entender que en un mismo lugar se hayan desenvuelto tantas historias, que ese mismo espacio puede y ha sido documentado millones de veces, todas mostrando lo mismo de maneras tan distintas; entender cómo un espacio puede trascender los límites de la existencia, ensamblando pasado, presente, y futuro
el exceso de introspección. Concluí que la sole-
there awkwardly and tried to sing the song about
dad indeseada es sinónimo de infierno, mientras
Santa Claus but, as I said before, I’d never heard any
que invitada supera la libertad. Pero también
of these Novena songs and I didn’t speak Spanish. So
puede la compañía grata desencadenar al indi-
pretty much I just waited for it to be over. When the
viduo, cosa que experimenté sin esperarlo nun-
song was finally finished I wanted nothing more than
ca. Sin embargo, no hay peor cárcel que el con-
to bury my face in the dirt.
sorcio detestable; estar en una mesa de extraños
El hombre, por fortuna y desgracia tiene la fac-
Por eso es triste sobrevivir a Nueva York, porque
escudriñando cada detalle, asombrándonos
ultad de aceptar ciertas ideas sin entenderlas.
despierta una innecesaria ambición Faustiana.
por todo, veíamos el comercio, la basura frente
Julio Cortázar escribe, “[el hombre] no puede
Yo nunca quise saberlo todo, ni verlo todo, ni ex-
a los edificios. ¡Colillas Neoyorquinas! ¡Una
incorporar a su propia estructura la realidad de
perimentarlo todo. Ahora sí. Y pensar que cada
caja de pizza Neoyorquina! ¡Plastas de perro
las estructuras profundas que examina.” El Big
segundo que pasa aquí también pasa en Nueva
Neoyorquino! Todo era alucinante.
Bang, la continuidad y discontinuidad de la luz,
York, y que me pierdo de mil sucesos, y mil ideas
y Nueva York son algunas de esas estructuras.
es un flagelo. Solo queda el recuerdo, pero ya
El resto, los lobos esteparios, los tristes, los lo-
lado para descongelarme, y seguía caminando.
cos salen a la calle. Fuman un cigarrillo mientras
Así, mi Nueva York se fue consumiendo en mil
tiemblan de frio o de tristeza. Mujeres despein-
tazas de café, buena compañía y soledad. Gocé
adas pasean un miserable perro con una mano
de hermosas exposiciones del ingenio humano,
y con la otra sostienen una bolsa de papel que
en lugares intencionados para ello, y en furtivas
liked it. “It’s nice,” I said.
se varó, y no paró mientras daba sosiego a mi
expresión caminábamos. Observándolo todo,
congelara mi nariz, tomaba un café en cualquier
party I went up to my mom and she asked me how I
reloj no sabe parar. Y no paró mientras el metro
la forman a ella siempre será un misterio para mí.
malestar estomacal por los excesos navideños.
which was a relief for me. Towards the end of the
sión, todos llenos de vacío. Desgraciadamente el
Sackett Street) para untarme de calle. Yo y mi
familiar de las cobijas y el hogar, tal vez sintiendo
chili and I hung out with a girl who spoke English,
enaltecido por el vino, el aire espeso de preten-
la ciudad forma a aquellas personas que a su vez
no hacía más que caminar. Dejaba que el frio
After the Novena activities Norma served everyone
que discuten nimiedades, con tono vehemente
el pequeño apartamento Brookliniano (301
Entregada al abandono del entendimiento, yo
“Come on, it’ll be fun!” She insisted, shoving me to the front of the room. Oh god, I thought. I stood
en un instante, no es tarea fácil. Entender cómo
udadano promedio se encuentra en el regocijo
“Oh no gracias,” I try to respond as politely as I can.
En mis primeras caminatas caía rápidamente en
Ese mismo día, a horas más decentes, abandoné
Un 25 de diciembre a horas de la mañana el ci-
19
Surviving Christmas By: Rachel Coombs
cuerpo en el sueño, y no para mientras vamos al
It was around midnight when we left. Once we got
baño y leemos este texto.
in the car my mom asked: “So how did you really like
ni sé si el recuerdo es algo que conservo o algo que he perdido. Nada que hacer, he sobrevivido
it?” I thought about it. I told her all about how Norma forced me to play with her kids and sing the song in front of everyone and how I didn’t speak Spanish, which made everything worse. My first Christmas in Colombia came as kind of a shock. My family and I had been invited to a novena by a Colombian family my mom knew through her dad. When we arrived at the apartment that night, it was full of a laughter and conversation of a family that is very closely knit. I felt like kind of an intruder when I walked in, even though the host (Norma) greeted us very warmly. I hadn’t been in the room for a minute when she asked me if I wanted to go play a game with her grandchildren.
a Nueva York. Puedo atribuir al hecho motivos
“Um….” I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t speak Spanish, and I didn’t know any of her grandchildren.
superiores, sacar conjeturas, pero sofistas. Nada
Norma shooed me off to the back room where a group of kids were talking to each other. They kind of stared
es seguro ahora excepto una cosa, volveré.
when I entered. “Hola,” I said. They smiled, and spent the next 20 minutes trying to explain the game to me in Spanglish. Then we heard Norma call us out to the living room. I ran over to my parents and shoved myself between them so I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. I saw Norma handing out little instruments to everyone. What? I thought. When my turn came she handed me a maraca and a book of songs. The next thing I knew the
“Then how would you like it if you did speak Spanish?” She asked. I thought about it again. “It would have been really fun,” I replied. This is true. I’ve been to many Novenas since then, and each time they get more and more enjoyable. Some of the songs are so catchy they get stuck in my head every once in a while. It’s beautiful to watch a family come together and spread the Christmas spirit, and I’m happy to say I’ve had the opportunity to be a part of it.
20
Colegio NUEVA GRANADA
J and K
21