Polarities of Love
he book of love has been written many times over. I am sure you know of countless stories where love has managed to conquer against all odds. Perhaps this is because our innate nature is to find a home for love. It seems our hearts provide a cosy living room for the warmth of its glow. However, the truest test of love is not until the flames of desire burn out. Here you may find that love is not just about how you feel, but something much deeper than this. Yet for many of us, before getting a taste of love’s colossal depth, it seems we must first endure its hardship. The love that you seek outside of yourself is merely superficial. It is only when you are able to connect to a deeper love inside that you can truly unite with another. Until you experience such ‘inner love’ your relationships serve only to teach you how to decode love’s true message. True love is inside us always, yet at times it can seem elusive and unobtainable. Perhaps this is because love is often driven by neediness and desire; sometimes it feels like we need the love of another in order to feel complete ourselves. This is perhaps why the death of a friendship, relationship or loved one can cause a tailspin of confusion, leaving a gap which seems too big to fill. The interpersonal bonds created in our minds are the cause of such suffering. Only by cutting the ties which bind us can we experience true love. Then we can share our love openly and without condition. Once you experience this, love will have less of an emotional grip. The realization that loving relationships are a coming together of lessons which two people need to learn, is a powerful one. Here we learn to love from the standpoint of giving rather than gaining. Such a mind set can bring about much relief to circumstances that might otherwise be difficult. By searching for the ‘lessons’ we begin to feed the soul. Here we begin to see that our relationships, past, present and future, create valuable turning points on the map of self discovery, of self love. By being open to whatever obstacles rise, during our relationships, we come closer to realizing our true potential. It seems love is the undercurrent on which life floats. Even though at times we may feel like we need a life raft. It was during such times that I reached out for my note pad and wrote down the following poems in order to stay afloat.
Seeing beyond your desires and impulsive behaviour is perhaps the most effective use of your sight. Here you are not just looking with your eyes, but using your insight. This provides you with the courage to open your heart and embrace the ultimate truth . A heart dry of truth can never produce the fruit of love. It was the following titles that led to the realization and development such change:
Demons of Lust Attachment Conditional love Compassion Letting go Acceptance Unconditional love
It is with heartfelt thanks that credit is given to the following artists for contributing their amazing artwork: Jo Knight (lady of the lake),Gerda ,Dragon Winter and ‘john riley’.
All the artwork and text in this publication is copyright protected.
hen my eyes first rested upon her face, it was as though the sun had permanently set in my heart. An angel had walked into my life and, although I couldn’t quite reach her, I was lifted by her wings. I felt a million miles from her, even though she stood right next to me. Yet somehow this drove my passion deeper. I was young, too young to know about the colossal depth of love and its many lessons. As though chasing a butterfly, I proceeded to follow her. Then, after much patience, her colourful wings were soon in the palm of my hands. She was a prize well worth waiting for. We danced, in and out of harmony, as young lovers do. But, inexperienced and with much naivety, unfortunately we drifted apart. Then, on the passing of ten years, by chance or miracle, we reunited at the opposite side of the world. She was as striking as the first time I ever saw her; I wanted her back in my life forever. I wrote to her, telling of how I felt. In fact:I wrote, and wrote, and wrote; it was the only way to contain my emotions. Little did I realise that the greatest lesson in life was waiting to pounce on me, like a puma: the lesson of nonattachment.
The Lady of the Lake ood morning to you, O fair Lady of the Lake. Before daylight breaks the shadow of moon and surrounding villages begin to awake, I feel your radiance before the warmth of the sun. Today knights will fight on the battlefield of life; they will gallantly face uncertainty in search of peace. Shedding blood and sweat, they will ride alone and return home to none as fair as you. As horses stir, nervously panting, they disturb the morning silence as a new day dawns. But neither sound of breath, nor clashing of armour disturbs you from your enchanted dreams. Whilst sleep continues to consume your soul, you visit many pleasurable lands and experiences. Only Mother Nature knows how to awaken such beauty; she quickens your heartbeat as thoughts begin to flow. Then, on your rise, the mighty sun begins to shine. The day begins, as man and beast become saddled together. Each carries a lock of your hair and a thread of your silken gown, reminders that love can transcend the deepest of fears. As though never asleep, you merge with daylight. The world is ignited and becomes infused with energy. The song of the bird harmonises with the opening of the flower and, with great joy, nature welcomes your presence. For your beauty and strength is capable of slaying any dragon, from the darkest demon filled cavern, to the deepest pit of despair. Yet your gentleness is like a feather on the breeze; only a soldier of honour could take your breath away. But as you meet the water’s edge in the mid morning mist, you look afraid and in judgment of what you see. A witch has taken your mind and cast a wicked spell. You are left in a delusional state and see only what you are not. How could eyes of such depth poison a mind of such purity? How could nature be so unforgiving and cruel? Please allow the ripples of your mind to still like those of the lake. For as sure as the mist will lift, you shall see yourself as others do. A creation of God, who pumps love through every vein; a walking angel, right here on earth; a gift to those she meets; a maiden of honour, who rides inside the hearts of men. A Lady of the Lake who has been reborn, again and again.
f you viewed the world through my eyes, you would see only beauty If your heart beat with mine, you would feel only love If we lived together as one, all living things would be our neighbours If you opened yourself to me, you would be separate from nothing When your light is spelled by darkness, please be patient When you feel alone, know that love controls your strings When you become tarnished by doubt, remain upright and strong When clouds of despair hover, know that you are not alone Now dance in a cocoon of bliss, as you take to the stage of life Now drink from the fountain of oneness to satiate your parts Now lose yourself in an innocent starlit labyrinth Now share your experience with those you meet For you are the puppet through which true love functions
e both lie apart, yet somehow together The moments melt; we could stay here forever Our bodies entwined, but emotions apart Drawn closer together, whilst protecting the heart And though needing sleep, mind and bodies awake In sweet anticipation, no sound do we make As fire engulfs bark, emotions burn wild We both become puppets God plays with like a child The faint brush of fabric turns toward skin Then beyond the periphery, I am drawn within Her heartbeat quickens and with breath elevated She sighs with relief; for this moment she’s waited Then there in the stillness, movement evolves Warmth generates and our fears are dissolved As heat manifests our energies shift Pulses increase; we synergistically lift With neither an ego to stand in the way, United as one, by the fireside we lay
want to share three words with you, not so easy to be said Which through the early hours of morn, hover around my head Emotions shout out louder; I am stirred from my sleep With heavy eyes, in search of pen, around the flat I creep Whilst sleepers sleep the night away, there’s little else to do With sudden urge to tell the world, but first of all to you Awake, as if still dreaming, words wash up from inside Unravelling emotions, I can no longer hide
The words are new; they tell the truth of how it is I feel And as I write, what resonates is how this dream is real These words perhaps to others may be easy to convey I’ve longed to tell you from the start, but fear got in my way ,
And so it’s time to speak my truth with openness of heart Compassion and equanimity, together or apart With this pledge I give to you three words for you to keep ,
,
For never will I take them back; they woke me from my sleep
This ink confirms my feelings; the message now I share I’ve laboured on my reasoning of why it is I care So with three words, found in a dream, all that’s left to do Is say with all sincerity, quite simply, “I love you”.
olourful, succulent and juicy, her luring aroma draws me near Hesitantly, I pause before reaching out towards her I withdraw from temptation, before grabbing at her like an addict It seems this abundance of sensual delight I cannot resist I nibble, teasing her, before I indulge myself on her nectar She is sweet and moist, we amalgamate as one I savour the moment, yet like all moments, it slips away I take a final taste and wring every last drop from its existence She satiates my passion, as our energies merge I am nurtured by her emotional richness My mind is fixated as she lies dormant beside me Having shared ourselves, we dissolve into oneness
here sits in the heather two flowers and beside them A lady who weeps; no more tears will she hide She looks into petal, smells fragrance, feels thorn With memories of love, when her heart was once torn As flowers entwined, nature brings them together She remembers the line of time lasting forever As she reaches out to them, her candle ignited Once flickered in darkness: the Rose and the Violet His emotions embraced and entrapped by her beauty The Rose grew wildly, beyond the call of his duty And she, like the Violet, brought softness to thorn Became trapped in the heather, where love was born Face moistened with teardrops, like first dew on grass She stares at the Rose and her sadness she masks “So strong were your branches, like arms to protect Your face spun from velvet, I could never forget� But a deep inner lining was where the thorns grew The Rose wore armour she could never pierce through Seems that never together the two should have grown But as love is so blind how could either of known Now she stares into nothing, a space easy to find And recalls lost emotion from the depths of her mind As thoughts become words, unafraid of her silence She whispers release to the Rose, as the Violet
here’s nothing so disturbing as tears in the dark With Satan on my shoulder, pressing matters of the heart The night engulfed by winter, my life as bleak, it seems A future spent longing for the woman of my dreams Such a cruel possibility, in shadows lies in wait With firm grip around my throat, reality takes a stake The space between us widens, a road I dare not cross Alone without her presence, I grieve for what I’ve lost Supine, I slump, delirious, dipping in and out of sleep Conscience bleeding heavily, finding reasons not to weep Aching for the dawn to shed some light upon my fear I visualize her by my side; the nightmare disappears
e had what I thought was the greatest bond a couple could ever have; to be closer to God. But ironically it was this same bond which drove us apart. It seems God had other plans. The relationship eventually came to a standstill. We had supported each other to become stronger individuals, but had negated the relationship in the process. Crazy as it seems, we were each so concerned with the needs of the other that we forgot about ourselves. Such a sacrifice slowly began to chip away our at energy and we became exhausted. Inevitably our priorities began to shift. My recent interest in Buddhism had answered some important questions. I knew I had found what I was looking for. The Buddha’s teachings were so profound that they opened my heart in a way I never thought possible. Trudy’s search for answers was equally as committed as mine; she often prayed to the angels for her own answers. Sometimes, our days were so fulfilling that we forgot to share our findings with each other. Ironically our thirst for oneness developed an undercurrent of separation, which neither of us saw coming. Then one morning jealousy crept in through the back door without an invite. Trudy had arranged to have lunch with a stranger she had met at a summer fete. Innocent enough, I thought, as trust had never been an issue. My jealousy was perhaps even more inappropriate, due to the fact that the stranger was a man of the church. Then it happened: after just one initial meeting, she decided this man was her ticket to happiness and was indeed sent from God. Within two days I became a distant memory; she had decided it was time for us to part. My world careered into a tailspin of confusion. How could I have presumed we were inseparable? It was here that I learnt the valuable lesson of non-attachment. It seemed the only way to release my demons was to accept things as they were. I began to see through my grasping, at what could not be changed – reality. God (reality) had shown his hand and all I could do was accept. I had flown with an angel and now I must hand her over and find peace with myself.
Drowninghrough in sorrow, of words tomorrow, Dow Jones wait and see the shares power of I entered your heart The strings of life strummed; we were never apart It was here that I bathed, knowing love for the first And I drank of its nectar, fully quenching my thirst As the days turned to years, like leaves turn to gold, So our bond became stronger; like a river we flowed Yet waiting ahead, amongst rapids of doubt An unforeseen boulder would leave us without Tossing and turning, shipwrecking love’s boat Salvaging friendship, hearts stayed afloat So what did we learn whilst sailing love’s path? How to give, how to take, how to share and laugh All this and more was the treasure we shared, But for stormy waters we were ill prepared Alone again, lost, now I drift on my own, Through uncharted waters, closer to home
n the fold of a scarlet-fired sky, the chill of winter turns on its victim Dark, dark bitter heart: a frozen fortress slams its gates An outcast weeps alone, waiting for signs of melting glaciers An obstacle the size of the Himalayas, the scar of not being worthy Animalistic behaviour triggers the fragility and harshness of life A startled deer is wooed by the musk of another Heaven’s fragrance dominates; a worthy husband looms Devi sheds her dress, as lust prepares to dance on high, Where wolves and jackals suck lifeblood dry Banished, the once dominant male flees to the hills, Stalked upon amongst gravestones, victim of a thoughtless act The loveless bloodline continues, whilst thresholds burst And so a serene day clouds over, as winter freezes the heart.
s it the onion that reeks as it lingers, or the sleep I lost in the cave of worry That causes teardrops to wash down my cheek, tickling patience into a flurry? Washing breakfast into dinner, the soggy breaded plate cries to be dry, Whilst the skinned rabbit hangs with less vulnerability than I Tongues of fire are stared into cinders; flames of the past extinguished forever The smutted hearth, a lighter shade than the swelling gap I tether The only heat, the thought of another, now brands the flesh of mind The stench of jealousy, potent; the taste of vengeance, sour and bitter I find The thud of my heart jolts heavily, like the ragman’s beast outside I offer these bones from the heap on which they lie, barely alive For nothing ever wrung tears from eyes, nor came with such surprise, As knowing you “loved me with all of your heart” was, sorrowfully, told with lies.
round down, like a heel on a cobbler’s work station Flung aside, awaiting repair, fuelled by frustration No reason for my existence here in this painful now My past forgotten and the future, it seems, somehow Tasks seemingly simple, overruled by confusion and shame Niggling spiders inside, casting webs at victims to blame To close my eyes and not re-awake, I wish I dared But the carnage left behind a heavy cross to be bared Wounded, an animal reaching toward a life no more Desperately salvaging hope, fighting tooth and claw Scratching some kind of meaning from the mud in which I lie Harnessing guilt, pain and fear, beneath a leaden sky Numb Body and numbed mind collaborate, whilst I write The flowing of black ink, aside a flickering candle light Verses of despair, words fall like nuggets of coal Heart closed for business, no one home and an empty soul
mongst mythical Shangri- La mountains a wounded crane barely flies On a 100 mile an hour gulf stream; the weight of broken loyalty wears heavily A wing of faith collapsed and all that the species stands for in tatters Discarded feathers, burnt by the sun, represent the death of compassion His flight path falters into a tailspin of confusion In an outburst of desperation, harmony regains form Hope soars, lifting aspiration, like an eagle under weary wings Momentum fans the flames of courage and a mighty phoenix rises He spreads his wings, dispelling fear and spreading light For he knows that the death of one thing brings life to another
And so The Sunbird was born, and all that the crane stood for remained pure.
ranscend your ego; nurse the pain Be with your thoughts, no one to blame Fan the fire from the bottomless pit Feel enraged; look like shit ! Betray emotion as your cargo burns A desolate Island awaits your return Slay revenge and feed your demons Give way to logic, sense and reason See the future; embrace the past Be like a warrior, calm and steadfast Ride the wave and pave a new path Surrender the control you never had Travel light and humble; hold no grudge Give way to pride; confirm your love With sympathetic joy and loving kindness, Know that there’s a reason for this
he things I never got to say Seemed trivial and innocent yesterday But echoes from the past I find Now hover densely in my mind Magical moments with me stay And leave me never, so I pray Your eyes, your kiss, the way you smile I carry with me all the while Missed opportunities, words unsaid When insignificance ruled my head And now you’re gone, no longer there An empty space with you I share I contemplate a loveless life The pain of which cuts like a knife I discovered love when I found you Without which who knows what to do And on my cheek a tear appears To dampen down and calm my fears I loved here on this earthly plane So celebrate, no need for blame For in my heart God found a home So comforting I’m not alone
he candle holds no answers, however long I stare The hole inside me widens every moment you’re not there Your face remains a picture with every blink of time The comfort of your body, I know no longer mine With love now indefinable, my ego weeps alone Replaced by another, my tears have found a home Rub it out and start again, relationships brand new Forget the past, resist the pain, like you I ought to do Yet, wrapped inside confusion, I feel an ember glow I could not take another break; alone I' de rather go Alone I’ll face the future, now bitten by the past Through love I found attachment; now love aside I cast In God I’ll find my unity, for no other could compare All else remains illusory now you’re no longer there.
here do you turn when you have all the answers, when you’ve run out of luck and used all your chances? And where can you hide when the demons stand by, when the words that you speak are tainted with lies? What can you do with a conscience defeated, your energy low and adrenals depleted? And how will you live with yourself when you’re old, when one minute hot and the next minute cold? What if your actions put others in pain; what if everything you do is surrounded by shame? Your speech is lined with malice and hate. When will you change for goodness sake? And when will you listen to what I have said? When will common sense soak into your head? Why don’t you slow down and take a look at one of those self development books? You should follow your heart and not your mind; to yourself and others be compassionate and kind. When will you stare at the truth in the mirror, be honest with yourself or at least something similar? Treat the people around you, those whom you affect, as beings of light, with love and respect. I wrote these words without thinking them through and then realised: it’s what I need to do! And so I call off my judgment attack; you are free to roam, without me on your back. The fork in my tongue I now seal behind lips; I wish you good fortune and eternal bliss. But what will I do when that moment arrives, when you curdle my blood in a moment’s surprise, when you speak out of turn, when you get on my nerves, or do something else which seems absurd? What will I do when the pain is so deep, that it crushes my heart and makes me feel weak? “Be true to myself and accept you however; see my own reflection in life’s tainted mirror.
saw you last night for the first time since we parted During a lucid dream you were in my life once more My subconscious finally faced reality: life without you I forgave and forgot, as I loved you once more We danced as I always thought we might We laughed louder than we ever dared We made love like I knew we always could have We blended into one, like reality into lucid dreaming And in this state I tempted fate Why? Because I was not afraid anymore I asked you why you left me, but no answer was your reply A hidden secret somehow lost in the shadows of yesterday Then I woke and began to question: was I ever awake? Did we ever share a wakeful moment, Or was I simply asleep whilst loving you ? Did I dream of our existence, was it just a lucid love affair ?
here is freshness in the morning air, but it’s not due to the lazy eastern sun. There is a cloud of mystery which hovers over the river, but it’s not simply a meeting of the elements. There is a swish of colour, fresh from the Lord’s brush, which glides across this canvas of lush vegetation. There is a breeze of delicate femininity that neither butterfly nor humming bird could match. There is a warm atmosphere that brands the skin with aliveness, which no cloud is able to shield. There is a fragrance which precedes the sense of sight and lingers beyond the scent of the flowers. There is a voice which makes the rainforest listen; a song commanding the respect of a choir of angels. There is a flash of scarlet lipstick which moves amongst men with the stealth of a tiger. There is a pair of jewels too precious to look into, due to the fear of falling into a lagoon of lust. There is an attack on the senses that no Yogi could transcend, that no mantra could fool. There is an energy over which the full moon has no control; like the tide it rolls and rolls. There is a universe of stars which appear dull in comparison to her qualities. There is a heart that has regained its rhythm and a gratitude for that which is present. There is a veil of love which has been lifted; there is life beyond that which was unimaginable. There is a Goddess; I heard her singing; the wind blew her fragrant breath in my face. There is a God; of this I have no doubt, for he blessed me with Clementine’s grace. And so, the wheel of love keeps turning...
Polarities of Love
Glen Monks is a certified yoga teacher and a spiritual practitioner. With a natural passion for writing, here he shares his journey of finding, losing and learning about love. Or perhaps it was there all the time; he just couldn’t see it. Info: www.YogaDoncaster.co.uk