I didn’t stay
Autopsy of a Failed Marriage
accountable to strong Christian men Accountability or, becoming answerable to another party regarding your behavior was perhaps the most consistent error we observed. “I didn’t stay in the loop of
other husbands, fathers and single men who could sharpen me.”
I married her for
W
e spoke with three divorced men
all the wrong reasons First comes love. Often, we don’t
about what other singles and
assess whether or not we love a
husbands can learn from their
woman for who she is, or, what she
mistakes. Though they’re listed
does for us. Be sure your spouse
anonymously, here is what they told
and you are with each other for the
us:
right reasons.
All too often, we marry or build our bond with our wife based on how we look with her by our side or because it was time to get married. These aren’t good reasons.
I wasn’t leading at home. While work, friends and church are important, your wife is your first responsibility after God. The men we spoke with made it clear that on the way to divorce, they had already developed a disconnect as a godly leader to their wife at home.
Take heed. These men volunteered their life lessons about love, marriage and divorce so perhaps your fate would be different.
Shacks vs Homes
I
n the bible, you might see the
The studies are now catching up
phrase, “House of David” or “House or
to just why that’s so important. All in
Isachaar”. Often, it’s not referring to a
all, God wants to avoid the havoc that
physical dwelling. It’s a theoretic
comes with sex outside of marriage
structure describing a family. In
and enjoy the fulfillment of being a
essence, men build marriage centered
husband instead.
families that perpetuate for generations to come!
However today, many men aren’t’ given a chance to know what those benefits are as 24 million boys
Men who build homes are more fulfilled than men who build shacks.
Homes More Money More Sex
Less Sex
Homes Less Time
More Time More Fulfillment
Less Money
More Strength
Less Fulfillment
More Success Success
Shacks
Homes
Easy
Challenging
Leaves
Leads
Temporary
Eternal
are raised without a father each year.
Inform you that you’re missing out on His best! A woman to put your name
Married men reported more fulfillment, higher income and more sex to the Center for Sexual Health this year and in fact, it’s been quite consistent in the past as well. Gods best is for a man to be with a woman and raise their children within the framework of marriage. Not only that, He’s stashed economic, social and health benefits within that design! You may be living with a woman outside of marriage or sexually promiscuous. God doesn’t condemn you. However it’s the father’s heart to
on and share your legacy with. Something that you can build that will last way beyond your lifetime and advance Gods kingdom in the process. Shacking up could never compare to that.
Bulletins If you’re interested in being commissioned in 2016 email GMen@mobcc.org If you’re commissioned and looking to mentor young men call Jamiel Cotman at 804-833-7628
Events Our next Gmen meeting [18+] is on February 27 @7 P.M. Our next Giant Killaz [10-17] meeting is on February 27 @7 P.M.
Adult Men 18+
Women,Sex &
Relationships What women want. What God says. Why you’ll succeed.
Feb 27 @7P.M. th
Wife Selection 101 Don’t know what to look for in a wife? We’ve got you covered!
A
mongst royalty, the advantage of
carefully selecting a wife had to do with the control of wealth and power. Simply put, the woman you chose was a part of a greater plan to perpetuate a legacy! The heritage, honor and name you carried as a king, would be short lived if you wifed a wayward woman for instance. Unfortunately today, men aren’t thinking legacy. As a result, they pick women who satisfy their short term needs. What’s even worse, there isn’t much advice on how to select a wife. In today’s 24 million single mother families, young boys are raised to think
Not every woman is a long term investment. How do you choose?
families, young boys are raised to think men are not allowed to have standards for the women they choose. All in all, we have a generation of men that are
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and inherits favor from the LORD.”
dispread for anyone with a cute face
Proverbs 18:22
and nice body. They haven’t been taught to demand anything more. The bible is different. In it, men were eager to teach their sons about the right woman to marry. Why? Because they actually had wealth to protect and a legacy to perpetuate. There are numerous scriptures where men warn their sons regarding the right ones.
Notice, when you found her, she was already a “wife”. Whose wife you may ask? Nobody’s! Proverbs calls her a wife because the traits she embodies are good for marriage. She is the woman you build a home around. She is the woman you have kids with. She is the woman you build a life with. She is wife material! Here are three traits that make this kind of woman:
She Loves God Often women will SAY they love God because a godly man is around, they’re at church or they’re tired of their worldly lover. However, when a good man sees a woman
relationship with God, her own testimony and her own personal convictions founded on God’s word, IS SUPER SEXY!!!!! That SCREAMS wife material!!
living like a Christian all week, he’s taken
Does she really love God or is she just saying that around you?
away! A woman with her own personal
She values good men Most women will SAY they want a godly, Christian or good man, but they frequently sleep with, marry and date thugs. Listen fellas, who she’s been dating, is indicative of her character.
If she dates thugs, she might be saved, but she’s not wife material. Her heart is with the world, and her body will soon follow.
She likes you All too often, we as men are taught to lead
Be sure you select a woman who’s had a
with what we have, instead of who we are.
chance to meet the real you and likes that
The sad part about this is, when we lose or
person. That way, even when you don’t
don’t have that particular thing anymore, the
have the “stuff” you’ll still have a strong
woman we used it to get will go away too.
wife by your side to support you while getting it back.
The Pornography Trap
God won’t make you feel icky for
First
being a man Meet the Masculine Jesus
To be free from porn, you need
T
he word “porno” derives from the
revelation of God as someone who identifies with you as a man. Why? Because unless you do, you will never
Greek term for “Prostitute”. Porn or
go to him about guy stuff. Jesus
pornography is any material designed
walked this earth as a man and won’t
to sexually arouse. And while men
make you feel icky for being one; on
are taught that it’s wrong, quite frankly,
the contrary he will show you how to
no real solutions have been taught on
liberate your manhood within the
how they can get it, until now:
confines of his Word.
God has your back. He will catch you when you fall back and like a Father does a son, He’ll catch you when you
Second
In the pornography trap? God has a sure way out Confront your feelings about women Now that you’re being real with God, you can be real with yourself. Why? Because you know He has your
fall. So be honest about the kinds of women you like, the kind of sex you enjoy and more. The more you understand you, the better you can guard yourself from pornography as you take it to Him in prayer.
Finally
Connect with a men’s
Get around men that sharpen your
group
resolve for Christ, and are living above the problems you face. Be sure that
As you connect with other Christian
they know how to connect with and
men, who are open about their
empower men as well.
struggles and how they overcame it, you will feel the need to watch porn dissolve. Why? Because pornography derives from a deep seated loneliness that all men have, which can only be met by healthy interaction with other men first, and then women.
Connect with other Christian men who are off of the hook
Scripture
A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. Proverbs 25:28
Thought Being a man is incredibly difficult, or else boys could do it.