The Life Skills of Leaders

The Life Skills of Leaders!

Leadership Isn't A Thing You Do...

It's Skills You Develop!

Sr. Master Greg Moody, Ph.D.

What Your Friends and Neighbors are Saying: “The Karate for Kids instructors are all as good or better than any teacher I have ever seen at school.

The kids learn real life skills and their influence has helped increase my son’s self esteem.” Anna Jones Chandler, AZ “The Karate for Kids Program has something for every member of the family. My oldest has been training for 6 years and is developing real leadership skills. His younger brother and sister are learning how to listen, pay attention and follow directions!” Barrie and Mike Petty Scottsdale, AZ “My whole family has grown and strengthened through our practice of Taekwondo. I use the life skills all the time with my kids. They are a great reminder of our family’s own values!” - Beth Grula - Chandler, AZ

“The values we stress at home are reinforced at Karate. Karate has helped Danielle appreciate that hard work yields excellent results.

Danielle has a deeper understanding of self-control, honor, dignity and self-discipline. She has great selfconfidence, knowing she can accomplish anything she sets her sights on!”

LauraLee Gaudio - Scottsdale, AZ “Ibu has increased in self-confidence, especially when pursuing goals” Tina Brooks - Chandler, AZ “Our son Blake was quiet and insecure when he began Karate at the ATA Academy in Cave Creek. He was so shy in school he could not bring himself to participate in his class Thanksgiving performance. Today Blake stood in front of his entire class and gave an oral report. He made eye contact with his peers and spoke loud and clear. We believe the skills he has learned in the ATA leadership program have given him the confidence to succeed not only in school but in life.” Deb & Steve Prokopek – Cave Creek, AZ

“I have seen this program make phenomenal changes in people’s lives! I’m grateful to those who have inspired me in the martial arts, and I thank them all for the difference it’s made in my life” Alissa Semanko - Paradise Valley, AZ “The Leadership program has helped Sammy with self-esteem at home and at school. He is always the first child to help his teachers & help Mommy at home. He has gotten more comfortable with being in front of other people. This has been a very positive experience!” Theresa Cibulka - Scottsdale, AZ “Leadership in ATA has brought many new experiences for our son Hudson Buzby. His self-esteem, discipline and other life skills have really come full circle. He has travelled to many parts of the country and made a lot of new friends at the tournaments.” Kathleen Buzby California “Great way to build self confidence.”

Jade Symanowski, Tucson, AZ

Master Greg Moody, M.C.

Achievement Publishing

THE LIFE SKILLS OF LEADERS Š 2006, 2008 by Greg Moody, KarateBuilt L.L.C. and Achievement Consulting All Rights Reserved.

Reproduction or translation of any part of this work beyond that permissible by section 107 or 108 of the United States Copyright Act without permission of the copyright owner is unlawful.

ISBN 1-4276-0319-7 3rd Printing: 2008 2nd Printing: 2006 For information or bulk sales contact: KarateBuilt L.L.C. PMB 159 6045 W. Chandler Blvd. #13 Chandler, AZ 85226 books@KarateBuilt.com

Contents Leadership - Introduction 1 Discipline 7 Defining "Discipline" Level 1 - Self-Discipline Level 2 - Discipline With Others Level 3 - Discipline in Society Level 4 - Leadership

11 17 23 27 31

Vision 33 Defining "Vision" Level 1 - Personal Vision Level 2 - Goals Level 3 - Community Vision Level 4 - Leadership

37 42 46 52 57

Communication 61 Defining "Communication" Level 1-Non-Verbal Communication Level 2 - Listening Skills Level 3 - Verbal Communication

65 71 77 86

Honesty 95 Defining "Honesty" Level 1 - Honesty within Yourself Level 2 - Honesty with Others Level 3 - Honesty with Society Level 4 - Leadership

99 104 115 119 123

Self-Esteem 127 Defining "Self-Esteem" Level 1 - Act with High Self-Esteem Level 2 - Positive Talk Level 3 - Confidence Level 4 - Leadership

131 137 141 145 149

Respect 151 Defining "Respect" Level 1 - Respect within Yourself Level 2 - Respect for Others Level 3 - Respect for Society Level 4 - Leadership

155 161 165 169 173

About The Author 175 Resources 179 Schools & Non-Profit Organizations!

Parents!

180 182

Leadership - Introduction

To be a "Leader"

To change the world, to make it a better place, to make progress in technology, health, psychology, science or education, we need leaders. Leadership is something everybody talks about wanting.

We want to be leaders, we want our kids to be leaders, we admire leaders, we even insert rock stars or sports figures as leaders in the absence of other leaders. There are thousands of books, definitions, quotes, seminars, classes, and stories about leaders.

But do we really want it? Or do we want someone to tell us what to do. Someone to tell us what is right? How does most of society operate? If we look it's easy to see that most people don't operate as a leader. Most people follow... follow TV ads, follow role models (good and bad ones), follow social norms, follow, follow, follow...

None of this is inherently bad. The world does need people to follow, to work together, to be focused on a common purpose.

But positive change doesn't come this way...

1

Leadership - Introduction Change Change comes with a polarity. It can be positive or negative. In our personal life, these happen for two different reasons - negative change usually comes from neglect and positive change from action. If you are tending a plant, it dies (change from healthy to unhealthy) while if you water it, re-pot it, give it nutrients, proper lighting - it will grow and become more healthy.

If we look at humans and habits we develop, no positive habit ever happened without forcing it to happen, while plenty of bad habits happen through neglect.

This is how we all function. Since we are interested in positive change and good habits, if we want the world to be a better place, we must be invested in action, not neglect.

Defining a "Leader" Out of this realization we can define a "leader".

A leader is...

2

Leadership - Introduction Someone Who Is Willing To Do What Others Are Not Willing to Do. The leader doesn't have to stand up and make speeches. They don't need to be in politics. They can be unknown except to a small circle of people around them.

They do step outside the bounds of what the majority of society does and the way they operate outside these bounds is in areas other people are not willing to do. Others are not willing to sacrifice. Others make excuses. Others are more concerned about "fun" or "free time" or "going out" than making the difference in the world To change the world we need leaders. Isn't changing the world what we are here for?

Becoming a "Leader" To become a leader, however, you have to develop skills. Anyone can do it. In fact the skills themselves give you the discipline to develop them, so as you start building the skills you need to become a leader, it becomes easier.

3

Leadership - Introduction Using this book This book has been developed over years of training children and adults. While it is designed to be a training tool within a qualified martial arts school, everything applies to your entire life.

Each section is a "life skill" that overlaps with the other life skills. If you are in one of our Leadership Training Programs, you will be guided through these skills over the course of a year, then they are repeated again and again so as you develop, the next time you are presented with these skills, you can build a deeper understanding and practice in using them.

4

Leadership - Introduction Leadership Life Skills

This "Circle of Life" shows how each life skill works with the other life skills to form a strong and balanced person. For example, if you have discipline, but poor self-esteem, you will be able to accomplish tasks but you will choose weak goals (and the things you accomplish will not be meaningful). Thus in this example, its going to be hard to maintain a high level of discipline because the task you accomplish will not be important (why work hard if it doesn't matter?). You can see all 6 life skills below and the introduction of each section illustrated the interaction between them:

f-E

•D

•R

mm o C

H em • onesty

unicati

ste

on

of Lif e l c r Ci iscipline • Sel e

5

espe

ct • Visio n

•

Discipline "Discipline is doing what you're supposed to do when you're supposed to do it."

7

Leadership - Discipline

Notes:

9

Leadership - Discipline

Leadership Level 3 Discipline in Society Level 2 Discipline with Others Level 1 Self-Discipline

10

Leadership - Discipline Defining "Discipline"

Discipline is defined as "doing what you're supposed to do when you're supposed to do it". Leaders must be people who show discipline. Discipline is the foundation for all learning and growth because learning requires repetition and growth requires overcoming obstacles. Our four levels of Discipline are: Level 1: Self-Discipline- Self-Discipline is doing what you are supposed to do when you are supposed to do it. If you have Self-Discipline, you don't need others to tell you what to do, you are disciplined enough to do it. An example of this is that its Self-Discipline if you get ready for class without someone reminding you, if you have to have a parent or spouse remind you or push you that in not Self-Discipline.

It's easy to SEE who practices this.

Level 2: Discipline with Others - Discipline with others is interacting with them so they can count on you. We know you have Discipline because others rely on you. This means you have integrity and keep promises all the time.

Others can trust what they HEAR from you.

Level 3: Discipline in Society - Society creates rules and laws and also cultural and social customs. A disciplined person knows all of these and follows them as appropriate. A disciplined person would never use an excuse to "get out" of a responsibility or job. People who practice discipline are DOing things that make society better.

Level 4: Discipline in Leadership - A Leader is an example of all of these and they develop the ability to help others develop this in themselves.

Through this training, you will develop these skills. While we may be disciplined at a certain level, a leader must motivate the people he or she is trying to lead to be disciplined.

11

Leadership - Discipline Discipline is Part of Life Like all of our Leadership Life Skills, Discipline relates to all other life skills. These make up the "Circle of Life:

unicati

sio n •

12

ct • Vi

m m Co

My Vision determines my values - I am disciplined to act accordingly with these values.

It takes Discipline to always be Honest with Others.

espe

When I have discipline, I will grow and improve. I will be a person who others Respect!

H em • onesty

I have discipline so I Communicate consistently and thoughtfully.

f-E

If I am SelfDisciplined I will be proud of myself!

•R

•D

ste

on

o f e L l c i r f i n e i l • p S i c el e C is

Leadership - Discipline Life Skill Worksheet

Is.

..

...

Not Discipline Is

Discipline

For Parents of kids, fill this out right now and during class, we will review your thoughts.

Discipline

“Doing What You're Supposed To Do, When You're Supposed To Do It!”

Discipline DOES...

13

Discipline

Level 1 Leadership Level 3 Discipline in Society Level 2 Discipline with Others Level 1 Self-Discipline 15

Leadership - Discipline Level 1 - Self-Discipline Discipline within yourself or Self-Discipline is primary to learning and growth. Self-Discipline is the start to a rich and full life because it allows you to constantly grow.

When we have Self-Discipline we are taking responsibility not just to make the right choices but take the right actions. Here are some examples - Fill in others that you think of: • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Getting ready for class.

Coming to class 3 times a week.

Getting your personal tasks done on time.

Acting consistently with your values in all cases. _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in)

"The race is not always to the swift... but to those who keep on running."

- Author Unknown

17

Leadership - Discipline Level 1 - Self-Discipline ... And Also by Showing Self-Restraint Leaders also show self-restraint, that is, knowing what to avoid even if it would feel great at the time.

Instead of: Eating Too Many Sweets Spending Too Much Money Goofing Around and Not Working Getting Angry Easily

We Can Do: (Fill In)

Leaders ACT with Self-Discipline.

"With Self-Discipline, all things are possible. Without it, even the simplest goal can seem like the impossible dream."

18

- Theodore Roosevelt

Leadership - Discipline Level 1 - Self-Discipline The Three Little Pigs "Once upon a time there were three little pigs. One day, they all left their mother's house to make a life of their own. Down the road they went to build new lives in their own houses.

The first little pig decided to make his house out of straw because it was easy and fast. He liked playing so he quickly made his house and then went out to play. Later, as he laid down to sleep, he thought to himself: "I'm glad I'm done with building this house. It's not too strong, but at least its a dry place to sleep!"

The second little pig decided to make his house from sticks.

It was quick and easy - like his brother's house of straw. He liked playing to, so then, he also went out to play. Later, as he laid down to sleep, he thought to himself: "I'm glad I'm done with building this house. It's not too strong, but at least its a dry place to sleep!"

The third little pig was very self-disciplined. He decided to make his house from bricks. It would protect from weather, and from the big bad wolf! He went to work building a strong house, only stopping to eat and sleep until he was finished.

One day the wolf came to the first pig's house and blew it down. He did the same with the second little pig. After that the two little pigs with poor self-discipline ran to their brothers house to save them from being eaten by the wolf.

When the wolf came to the third house, he couldn't blow the house down. He decided to leave the pigs alone.

The third Pig was rewarded for having great discipline."

19

Leadership - Discipline Level 1-Self-Discipline Persistence

To accomplish anything in life, you must develop Persistence.

Persistence means Never Giving Up and to do that requires SelfDiscipline. Here is a great example of Persistence ...

He was defeated for the legislature and lost his job in 1832.

His employer failed in 1833.

His own business failed the next year.

The same year he was elected to the legislature, but the following year his girlfriend died.

In 1836, he had a nervous breakdown.

Two years later he was defeated in the election for Speaker of the House.

In 1843, he ran for Congress and lost.

He ran again in 1846, and won, then lost the re-election in 1848.

He ran for the Senate in 1854, and was beaten soundly.

In 1856, he was defeated in his attempt to become Vice-President.

He ran again for the Senate and lost.

Finally, in 1860, Abraham Lincoln was elected President of the United States.

What are Three Things You Need to Persist at: • _________________________________________ (fill in) • _________________________________________ (fill in) • _________________________________________ (fill in) Leaders ACT with Self-Discipline.

"One may go a long way when one is tired."

20

- French Proverb

Level 2 Leadership Level 3 Discipline in Society Level 2 Discipline with Others Level 1 Self-Discipline 21

22

Leadership - Discipline Level 2 - Discipline With Others Leaders must develop and show Discipline in their interactions with others. This is a way to measure how much Self-Discipline you have - if others can always count on you.

How Do We Do It? You can do this by: • Always showing proper protocol in the school • Always work hard even if people are not watching • Doing tasks for others (homework or jobs) on time • Doing your household chores without others asking • Being on time with your responsibilities with others • _________________________________________ (fill in) • _________________________________________ (fill in) • _________________________________________ (fill in) • _________________________________________ (fill in) • _________________________________________ (fill in)

Leaders Show Discipline in How They Act Towards OTHERS.

"Discipline weighs ounces, but regret weighs tons."

- Jhoon Rhee

23

Leadership - Discipline Level 2 - Discipline With Others Another example of Discipline with Others is when others help with your discipline. Instructors, Teachers at school, Supervisors at work (or Parents for kids) all direct us in many ways. Your instructor tells you to do 50 push-ups, you do it. Your teacher asks you to write your name on each paper before turning it in, you do it. Your supervisor at work tells you to turn in a report, you do it. When we follow these leaders, we have Directed Discipline.

Master Woo began, "The sailor becomes free to sail the seas only when he has become a servant of the compass.

Until he obeys the compass, he has to stay within the sight of the shore. Once he is obedient, he can go wherever his ship, and his compass, will take him. Without railroad tracks, a train is free, but it can't go anywhere because there is nothing to guide it. Without a steering wheel, a car is under the control of no one, and it won't move very far before running into something. Freedom comes only when we use Discipline to steer our lives."

"So like the sailor, we must become obedient - obedient to disciplining ourselves to do what we know is good for us."

Great Leaders are also Great Followers.

"Fall seven times, stand up eight."

24

- Japanese Proverb.

Level 3 Leadership Level 3 Discipline in Society Level 2 Discipline with Others Level 1 Self-Discipline 25

Leadership - Discipline Level 3 - Discipline in Society Society has rules, laws, customs and social norms. Discipline in society is when you follow the appropriate rules when you are supposed to. A Disciplined Society creates rules that are fair and changeable through a fair process.

Examples Below are some examples of Discipline in society with a corresponding Undisciplined action. Fill out some of your own at the bottom: Disciplined Action

Undisciplined Action

Follow traffic laws

Speeding

Doing homework or jobs on time

Being late

Avoiding temptations of drugs

Taking drugs

Putting trash away and recycling

Littering

A Leader follows the customs of society and is strong enough to change them if needed.

"He conquers who endures" - Persius

27

Level 4 Leadership Level 3 Discipline in Society Level 2 Discipline with Others Level 1 Self-Discipline 29

Leadership - Discipline Level 4 - Leadership To apply our lessons in Discipline as a Leader, we need to behave with Discipline in everything we do. We have seen we need to be Disciplined with Self-Discipline, with our family and friends, and with society. Where we can improve: Where could I show more Self-Discipline? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Where could I show more Discipline with my friends and family? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Where could I show more Discipline in society? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

Exercise:

Practice teaching a class with one person being an observer. Discuss Discipline (if it's supposed to be a Basic class you discuss Self-Discipline, if it's BBC, discuss Discipline with family, etc...). Observer needs to note: How often was Discipline mentioned?:___________________ Did it apply to life? How? _____________________________ Motivation (circle): 1poorest 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10best Education (circle): 1poorest 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10best "It’s easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you’re a winner, when you’re number one. What you’ve got to have is faith and discipline when you’re not yet a winner."

- Vince Lombardi

31

Vision "Your Vision Determines Where You Go In Life."

33

Leadership - Vision

Notes:

"Every person is the architect of their own fortune."

- Appius Claudius

35

Leadership - Vision

Leadership Level 3 Community Vision Level 2 Goals Level 1 Personal Vision

"If you don’t change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news?"

36

- Dr. Robert Anthony

Leadership - Vision Defining "Vision"

Leaders lead others - a group. Therefore they must take responsibility for creating and communicating a clear vision - this is essential for group success. The Black Belt Academy has many groups - the class group, the instructor group, etc..

Vision: "a picture of the future that is created in the imagination and motivates to action" Possessing vision means having the ability to create and effectively communicate a picture of the future that builds on a realistic understanding of the present.

An Effectively Communicated Vision: • Creates a shared and meaningful purpose • Inspires Passion and Interest • Guides Decision Making and Strategy • Conveys Values • Is Aligned with Overall Values and Goals.

Our four levels of Vision are:

Level 1: Personal Vision - Developing a vision of what you want your life to be like is a Personal Vision. It doesn't depend on others or the world, only what you want to be.

Level 2: Goals - This level of vision is where you take your personal vision and turn it into short, medium and long term goals. We develop our personal vision first and make sure the goals are consistent with it.

Level 3: Community Vision - Leaders have a vision that relates to making the world a better place. You could find examples of negative leaders but they eventually fail. A true leader has a vision that, is intended to improve not just themselves, but the world around them.

Level 4: Leadership Vision - A Leader has a clear vision of him or herself, and can communicate that to their group.

Through this training, you will develop these skills. While we may have a Vision at a certain level, a leader must motivate the people he or she is trying to lead to understand the vision they are trying to share.

37

Leadership - Vision Vision is Part of Life Like all of our Leadership Life Skills, Vision relates to all other life skills. These make up the "Circle of Life:

o f e L l c i r f i S e • l n f Es e C isio

es

pec

unicati m m on o C

R

t • Disciplin e •

38

I need to be truthful to myself about what I am willing to do.

n e st y •

A clear vision of my goals and future means I have to respect myself, others and the world to To achieve get there! my vision, I have to be disciplined.

• Ho

A leader's vision includes others. I need to be a great communicator of this vision.

tee

m

•V

I feel great if I have a vision of my future and put it in action!

"Throughout the centuries there were men who took their first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision."

- Ayn Rand

Leadership - Vision Life Skill Worksheet

Is.

..

.

Vision Not Is

Vision

For Parents of kids, fill this out right now and during class, we will review your thoughts.

..

Vision

“Your Vision Determines Where You Go In Life!”

Vision DOES...

39

Vision

Level 1 Leadership Level 3 Community Vision Level 2 Goals Level 1 Personal Vision 41

Leadership - Vision Level 1 - Personal Vision Developing a Personal Vision is the first step toward being a leader.

It isn't something that needs to be fixed forever - don't let developing the "perfect" vision prevent you from starting. Remember: "Perfection Limits Progress!"

Vision Statement Definition: "a collection of words, created cooperatively (for a group), that summarizes what a group is intended to look like. Its purpose is to provide focus and serve as a reminder of where the group is going. It helps to keep the focus on the strengths of the group." This applies to a group like a school, family or a company. You are going to decide what your personal vision is: My Personal Vision Statement: ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________

"The very essence of leadership is that you have to have a vision."

42

- Theodore Hesburgh

Leadership - Vision Level 1 - Personal Vision The Boy and the Black Belt

There was once a young man named Miko who had just started to study Karate and wanted to earn his Black Belt, so he went to Master Woo and asked him how long it would take. Master Woo looked at the boy and asked him: "What is your vision? When would you like to receive your Black Belt? In 10 years, in 5 years, or in 2 and a half years?"

The young boy said: "Well, I don't know. That's the reason I'm here, to ask you when I should expect to become a Black Belt." Master Woo told the boy to follow him outside, where some students were practicing archery. One of them, Colin, was hitting the bull's-eye with every shot. It was evident that he was the best archer in the whole school. He seemed to hit the target right in the middle every single time. The boy thought to himself that Colin was probably just as good as Robin Hood!

Master Woo asked the boy: "Do you think you could be as good as Colin with the bow and arrow?"

The young boy quickly said: "No! Not without a lot of practice."

Master Woo then said: "What if I put a blindfold on Colin and turn him around a few times so he doesn't know exactly where the target is, would you be better than him?

"Sure, I'd beat him easily!" said the boy.

"You're saying that Colin couldn't hit a target he couldn't see, aren't you?" said Master Woo. "That's right!" said the boy.

"Well if Colin can't hit a target he can't see with the bow and arrow, how are you going to hit a target you can't see? If you don't have a vision of what you want to be, you have nothing to shoot at, which is worse than having a blindfold. That's why you need to have a personal vision, to give you something to see to shoot at. Do you understand?" explained Master Woo. "Yes, I have to set a target for how long it will take me to earn my Black Belt, then I should practice hard to make my goal and achieve my vision!" said Miko.

"Exactly! Now find a calendar and write the date you'll earn your Black Belt!

43

Leadership - Vision Level 1 - Personal Vision Share Your Vision If we understand how our personal vision interacts with close relationships (friends and family) then we can use our support structure to help us and motivate us towards that end.

Leaders don't keep their vision to themselves. It's risky to share a vision, because if we don't achieve it then it can be embarrassing, and if we tell others, they will expect us to work towards it. That's great! That pressure is another tool we can use to help us achieve our goals and then out vision.

Leaders are not afraid to share their vision.

"The wisest keeps something of the vision of a child. Though he may understand a thousand things that a child could not understand, he is always a beginner, close to the original meaning of life.."

44

- John Macy

Level 2 Leadership Level 3 Community Vision Level 2 Goals Level 1 Personal Vision 45

Leadership - Vision Level 2 - Goals

Goals come out of our Personal Vision. We need to have short, medium and long term goals that will lead us in the direction of our vision. Goals should have the following characteristics (using the SMART mnemonic):

Specific Measurable Attainable Relevant Time (there must be a deadline)

Take one of your goals now (earning 2째 Black Belt, getting 1st place at the next tournament or anything related to Taekwondo or not). List the five S.M.A.R.T. Characteristics of it: Specific ___________________________________________ Measurable ________________________________________ Attainable _________________________________________ Realistic ___________________________________________ Time _____________________________________________ Relating to Class: Of course in class we don't sit down and write S.M.A.R.T .items out for each class. We have to pre-think through the goals we set for the students. We teach them to set S.M.A.R.T. goals by example. In other words telling them "We are going to do 500 round kicks by the end of class!" is better than "We are going to do a bunch of kicks". You should already have decided whether its Attainable and Realistic, and you've already stated S.M.&T Leaders have S.M.A.R.T. goals.

46

"If you don't know where you are going, you might end up somewhere else."

- Yogi Berra

Leadership - Vision Level 2 - Goals

Goal setting is called the "Master Skill of Life". People like Sam Walton who founded Wal-Mart and was once America's richest man, Lee Iaccoca, Winston Churchill, Tiger Woods, Eternal Grand Master H.U. Lee or almost any prominent person in sports, business, academics or politics all set goals! Each of these people had a very clear picture of what they ultimately wanted to achieve in life. They knew exactly who they wanted to become (a personal vision) and then determined the steps and actions (goals) to achieve that vision.

A Mountain to Climb

In the hills near the town where Master Woo taught, there was a mountain that very few had been able to climb. Anyone who had climbed the mountain was looked up to by the townspeople. One of Master Woo's students, Sally, decided she would climb the mountain because she saw how respectfully those people were treated. She also wanted to feel good about doing something so great.

This was her personal vision.

Through her Taekwondo classes with Master Woo, Sally had learned how to set S.M.A.R.T goals. She decided she would set a goal to climb to the top of the mountain one year from that day (it was March 7th). This made her goal specific because we knew exactly what the goal was. She also decided she would practice climbing every week on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 3:00pm to 5:00pm.

Her goal was measurable because on March 7th, when she was standing at the top, she would know she did it!

She gave herself a year of training. This made it achievable for her. If she had only decided to train for 1 week, it may not have been possible. She also would start with smaller hills to climb and then build the skill and confidence to tackle the bigger ones.

It was relevant because it was important to her for the self-esteem it would help build in herself. It was also relevant in the community because the climbers are well thought of. This also made it motivating.

She was very specific about the time, both training time, and when she expected to meet the goal. This give the goal a priority as she is training and a great target to shoot for.

On March 7th, Sally went to the foot of the mountain. She closed her eyes and saw herself at the top looking down. She opened her eyes and began to climb.

By the end of the day, she had reached her goal - the top!

47

Leadership - Vision Level 2 - Goals How Jack Nicklaus Became the World's Best Golfer At an early age, golfer Jack Nicklaus made a important decision that was to shape his career and influence the entire world of golf. If he had avoided that decision or failed to plan his whole life to accommodate it, Jack Nicklaus might well have become just another good player. His vision was to become the best player in the world. He decided he would prove this by focusing exclusively on winning golf's four most important events: The Masters, the US Open, the British Open and the PGA Championship.

While other top players may have made a conscious effort at these events, Nicklaus made them his life. All other tournaments were stepping-stones to "fine tune" him for the majors.

Not only did Nicklaus win more major tournaments in history, his overall record in these events is phenomenal and may never be overshadowed (except possibly by Tiger Woods who also focuses on the majors). He won 20 major championships (7 more than the previous record) and finished 2nd or 3rd over 40 times. By focusing on his specific goals, he was able to live out lofty dreams.

Let's see how he took his vision and broke it down into manageable steps by setting S.M.A.R.T. goals.

Nicklaus primary goal was to be the greatest golfer of all time. That by itself is not a S.M.A.R.T. goal because it's not specific. He made it specific by deciding the he would win more major championships. This is also measurable because he would know what achieving the goal is. The long term goal was to win more majors than his hero - Bobby Jones (13 majors).

The intermediate goal was to win the four majors that year. The short term goal was to win the tournament he was playing in. Was it attainable? Some would have said no way - he won 50% more than the previous leader! On the other hand, what would prevent him from doing it? Each tournament was a relevant goal because it was in line with his personal vision. Time was a factor because golfers age and even though he was the greatest golfer of his time, he would not be able to do it forever. He had to win the majors before he was too old to compete with the younger players.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

48

- Eternal Grand Master H. U. Lee

Leadership - Vision Level 2 - Goals Goal Worksheet

Long term goals are how we start to set goals for the future. Then we break the goal into Long Term (LT) goals, then Medium Term (MT) goals, then finally into Short Term (ST) Goals. Use the next page to help develop your goals for the future (use one page for each Long Term Goal.

Vision

LT Goal 1

LT Goal 2

LT Goal 3

LT Goal 4

...

MT Goal 1

MT Goal 2

MT Goal 3

MT Goal 4

...

ST Goal 1

ST Goal 2

ST Goal 3

ST Goal 4

...

" Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done. One could write a history of science in reverse by assembling the solemn pronouncements of highest authority about what could not be done and could never happen.."

- Robert Heinlein.

49

Leadership - Vision Goal Worksheet For ONE Long Term Goal

Personal Vision:_____________________________ Goal Long Term Goal Medium Term Goal 1 Short Term Goal 1 Short Term Goal 2 Short Term Goal 3 Medium Term Goal 2 Short Term Goal 1 Short Term Goal 2 Short Term Goal 3 Medium Term Goal 3 Short Term Goal 1 Short Term Goal 2 Short Term Goal 3

50

Description

Specific

Measurable Attainable

Realistic

Time

Level 3 Leadership Level 3 Community Vision Level 2 Goals Level 1 Personal Vision 51

Leadership - Vision Level 3 - Community Vision A leader has a vision that relates to the people or group around them (the ones they are going to lead). Your vision needs to be something that is motivating, exciting, makes a difference in people's lives or the world.

Vision Leadership Test

Does your vision: Dare to challenge the status quo?

Dare to do what's never been done?

Dare to make a difference in the world?

Dare to take charge of a problem and solve it?

Dare to dream big dreams?

If it does, then you have the start of the vision a leader has!

A Leader dreams big.

"Without vision the people shall perish."

52

- Proverbs

Leadership - Vision Level 3 - Community Vision Communicating a Vision

Being a leader means you need to be able to communicate a vision.

When conveying a vision, few people did a better job of keeping it simple than Ronald Reagan. President Reagan's first major speeches from the Oval Office made a case for his new economic policy, with numerous examples intended to make complex issues as clear as daylight by sharing them in simple language. The fact that there were 7 million Americans out of work was underlined by saying that if they stood in line, shoulder to shoulder, three feet apart, the line would reach from Maine to California. Holding up a dollar bill to the camera he explained the cost of inflation like this: "Here is a dollar bill like the one your parents saved in 1960. Here is a quarter, a dime and a penny... thirty-six cents.

That's what the 1960 dollar is worth today. If the present rate of inflation should continue three more years, that dollar will only be worth a quarter". In another speech Reagan said: "At the heart of our message should be five simple familiar words.

No big economic theories, no sermons on political philosophy.

Just five short words: Family, Work, Neighborhood, Freedom, Peace".

A Leader can communicate a vision in simple terms.

"Guido the plumber and Michelangelo obtained their marble from the same quarry, but what each saw in the marble made the difference between a nobleman’s sink and a brilliant sculpture."

- Bob Kall

53

Level 4 Leadership Level 3 Community Vision Level 2 Goals Level 1 Personal Vision 55

Leadership - Vision Level 4 - Leadership To apply our lessons in Vision as a Leader, we need to have our actions be consistent with our personal vision, goals and community vision. Where we can improve: What could I do better to have my actions consistent with my Personal Vision? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Have I planned out all my Goals to be S.M.A.R.T? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ How does my personal vision and my goals relate to the Community? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

Exercise:

Practice teaching a class with one person being an observer. Discuss Vision (if it's supposed to be a Basic class you discuss Personal Vision, if it's BBC, discuss Goals, etc...). Observer needs to note: How often was Vision mentioned?:______________________ Did it apply to life? How? _____________________________ Motivation (circle): 1poorest 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10best Education (circle): 1poorest 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10best "To fail to plan is to plan to fail."

- Ben Franklin

57

Leadership - Vision What is Your Vision as a Leader?

Take a few minutes and answer the following questions (you do not have to share): What is your vision for your life? ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ What is your vision for your Taekwondo Career? How does it feel? What do people say to you? What do you contribute to their life? ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ What steps are you making to achieve your vision?

1) __________________________________________________ 2) __________________________________________________ 3) __________________________________________________ 4) __________________________________________________ 5) __________________________________________________ 58

Leadership - Vision Your Story You are always telling a story about your values, your interests, and your vision. What stories do the pictures on this page say? _____________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________

How do you communicate your vision to others? How is your communication consistent with your vision? ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________

How is it inconsistent and what would you change? ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________

59

Communication "Understand First.

Be Understood Second."

61

Leadership - Communication

Notes:

63

Leadership - Communication

Leadership Level 3 Verbal Skills Level 2 Listening Skills Level 1 Non-Verbal Skills

64

Leadership - Communication Defining "Communication" Leaders must communicate their vision but not always the whole vision. We need to focus, for example, on our goal of Black Belt, but also on the High Block that we begin Songahm 1 with. Good communicators are able to: • Understand non-verbal communication • Speak effectively in front of groups • Give clear, concise answers to questions • Emphasize key points and make sure they are understood clearly • Make use of dialog to clarify understanding and gain further information • Express ideas in ways that are persuasive and lead to shared perspective • Use Storytelling There are three forms of communication. Words represent 7% of how much is communicated, Voice Qualities represent 38% and Body Language represents 55%. Our communication training includes:

Level 1: Non-Verbal Communication Level 2: Listening Skills Level 3: Verbal Communication Level 4: Leadership Skills

Through this training, you will become a skilled communicator.

65

Leadership - Communication Communication is Part of Life Like all of our Leadership Life Skills, Communication relates to all other life skills. These make up the "Circle of Life:

mu

I feel great if I communicate well with everyone!

s io n • C i V • o

It is respectful I need to be to both talk and truthful in my listen. communication.

ne

It takes discipline to communicate.

•R

espe

ct • Di

scip l i

66

em • Honesty

A leader's vision includes others. I need to be a great communicator of this vision.

f- E

ste

m

o f e L l c i r f i o n i e t • a S c i e C n l

Leadership - Communication Life Skill Worksheet

..

Is.

Communication

...

Not Is Communication

Communication

For Parents of kids, fill this out right now and during class, we will review your thoughts.

“Understand First, Be Understood Second�

Communication DOES...

67

Communication

Level 1 Leadership Level 3 Verbal Skills Level 2 Listening Skills Level 1 Non-Verbal Skills 69

Leadership - Communication Level 1-Non-Verbal Communication How we communicate non-verbally is more important than how we speak. In our martial arts training this is apparent in: • Bowing • Listening Position • Shaking Hands • Standing and Sitting • How we execute a Technique Outside of our classes, we also communicate non-verbally in everything we do. The above examples are, in part, our training for the rest of our lives. According to Hunsaker and Alessandra, some of the most common gestures are as follows: Openness - Opening hands, unbuttoning coat, removing a jacket, moving closer together, or leaning slightly forward.

Evaluation - A tilted head, hand to cheek or chin stroking.

Readiness - Readiness is often communicated by placing your hands on your hips or sitting forward in your chair.

Frustration - The most common frustration gestures are clenching or wringing the hands, rubbing the nape of the neck, or running one's fingers through the hair.

Exercise:

How can we communicate without speaking? Try it with a partner do each of the following and have the partner write what they "hear" from you: Do: Bow Listening Position Shake Hands Standing at Attention Sitting at Attention Make a Face

What Partner "Hears"

71

Leadership - Communication Non-Verbal Communication Here are some faces. What do each of these communicate?

72

Leadership - Communication Non-Verbal Communication Communicating Emotions:

The emotions we feel are often communicated even if we don't intend them to be. If we are not careful, another person might interpret them incorrectly. For example, imagine a child at school who is afraid of their teacher. Therefore they don't look at them and cower when the teacher addresses them. The teacher might interpret that as disrespectful because the student didn't look them in the eye. Now the student is more scared, etc...

Exercise 1:

Look in the mirror and practice communicating the following emotions:

• Happy • Sad • Confused • Frustrated • Satisfied

• Excited • Surprised • Triumphant • Afraid • Thoughtful

What did they look like? Can this help you tell what emotions other people are expressing?

Exercise 2:

Try the same emotions out with your partner. Can they guess the right emotion?

73

Leadership - Communication Non-Verbal Communication There are many ways we communicate that are not spoken.

List as many examples as you can think of: ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

Which ones do we want to keep? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

Which ones do we want to change? ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________

74

Level 2 Leadership Level 3 Verbal Skills Level 2 Listening Skills Level 1 Non-Verbal Skills 75

Leadership - Communication Level 2 - Listening Skills Communication goes in two directions, you must hear them, and they must hear you. We have discussed how to speak, now we need to work on listening. There are many different ways to listen. Below is a list of skills that can be used to help you understand the person you are communicating with: • Minimal Encouragers • Reflecting • Paraphrasing • Inquiry Statements • Supporting • Advising

The listening continuum describes listening from the least attentive to the most attentive:

Listening Continuum 1. Ignoring 2. Pretend Listening 3. Selective Listening 4. Attentive Listening 5. Empathic Listening Clearly to be the best listener we want to be an empathic listener - by being within the other's frame of reference.

77

Leadership - Communication Listening Skills - Encouragers Minimal encouragers are simple ways to encourage a person to continue relating to you. Examples of minimal encouragers are:

• "and then..."

• "oh..", or "yea..." or "hmmm" • Nodding your head • Being silent

Exercise:

What are some others?

78

• _____________________________________ • _____________________________________ • _____________________________________ • _____________________________________

Leadership - Communication Listening Skills - Reflecting

Reflecting is when we state what our understanding of what we heard back to the person we are talking to. This allows us to confirm what the other person was saying and allows them to listen to the message they are giving. Often when a person hears what they said, they realize it didn't convey their real meaning.

When reflecting, we simply state back what we heard in their words.

We can precede this with a leading statement such as: • "What I hear you saying is..." or "You're saying..."

• "You feel..."

For example: Statement

"I am worried about Graduation."

"Johnny keeps picking on me at school" "I don't have time to come to class"

Your Reflected Response

"You're saying that you are worried about Graduation" "Johnny is picking on you at school" "You feel you don't have time to come to class"

Each of these responses can lead the conversation toward resolving the issue. Many people make the error of assuming the statement means something it does not.

Exercise:

Try it! Here are some statements to reflect with a partner (make up your own):

• "I am worried about doing my board breaks" • "I am frustrated with Mr. Jones" • "Do you teach King-Fu?" • "I hate the new class schedule" • "My child is board and wants to quit" • "Mr. Jones is the best instructor in the world"

For each statement, discuss the possible meanings. For example in the above example "I am worried about Graduation", the student could be concerned about their own preparation, their fear of being in public, that they have to perform in front of parents, or that they have no money. Each of these require different responses, but we need to reflect to get more information so we know how to help them.

79

Leadership - Communication Listening Skills - Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing is similar to reflecting. Instead of stating what they said back, we condense and rephrase it into our words. Paraphrasing is a powerful tool because: • You can interrupt someone and not generate resistance. Sometimes people tell you a long story" - you use this technique to interrupt "Let me make sure I understand...." paraphrase, and respond.

• It helps us take control of an encounter.

• It can clarify people's underlying meaning.

• It is a non-threatening way to communicate - people feel you are hearing them.

• It allows people to modify their initial statements.

For example: Statement

"I am worried about Graduation.

I don't like to get up in front of people."

"Mr. Jones doesn't like me" "I don't have time to come to class"

Your Paraphrased Response

"Your worried about getting up in front of people at graduation" "You and Mr. Jones are having trouble?"

"You're having trouble getting your classes scheduled. Lets figure it out together"

The paraphrase can be used to make large statements into smaller responses to get to the "heart" of an issue. Like reflecting, each of these responses can lead the conversation toward resolving the issue. In the third example, you can see how it can also be used to take charge of the conversation - you simple paraphrase (the person knows they are heard or at least that you are trying to hear them) and then suggest a solution. It is important to make sure you fully understand the situation before a solution is suggested.

80

Leadership - Communication Listening Skills - Paraphrasing Exercise:

Here are some issues. Make up a statement about them and your partner needs to paraphrase: • Worried about work or school • Upset about a tournament situation • Worried about my child's schoolwork

For each statement, continue the conversation (even though you are pretending). The partner is to continue paraphrasing until told to stop. Try it again with the suggestion tied to the end of each paraphrase.

81

Leadership - Communication Listening Skills Inquiry Statements Inquiry statements have been shown to be one of the most effective way to encourage a person to talk. An inquiry statement is not a question, but a statement that leaves the "door open" for the person to respond. Examples of inquiry statements are: • "I wonder how you feel about _______."

• "It sounds like you are upset."

• "I am concerned about your attitude."

• "Boy, that was a tough competition!" to a student who may have lost.

• "I'm not sure what's bothering you."

• "To meet your goal, you have a long list of things to do like, come to class...." here we start a list, stop talking and let them fill in the other items.

The key to inquiry statements is to phrase the "question" in a statement form. This works well because the person doesn't feel like you are probing them and demanding an answer to a question.

Exercise:

Try it! Pick a question and re-phrase it as an inquiry statement.

82

Leadership - Communication Listening Skills - Supporting Supporting statements are statements where we express that the other person has a right to that opinion. It doesn't necessarily mean we agree with their assertion. Examples of supporting statements are: • "I can't say that I blame you."

• "I know what you mean. I had the same problem when I had to do that" • "I know it can be hard."

Exercise:

Try it! One partner can make a statement expression some issue (ex: "I am really tired of doing that") and phrase it as a supportive statement ("I know its tough to do every day.")

83

Leadership - Communication Listening Skills - Advising Advising statements are when we actually make a suggestion.

Examples of advising statements are:

• "You will only have to do it another couple of days." • "Most people react to it that way initially"

Exercise:

Try all of our listening skills! An example of all of our listening skills is: Person: "I'm worried about Testing."

Leader Encourager: Nod head, wait for response Leader Reflect: "So you are worried about Testing..."

Leader Paraphrase: "Testing really worries you."

Leader Inquiry Statement: "I was wondering what it is about Testing that worries you."

Leader Supportive: "I know what you mean - Testing is stressful."

Leader Advising: "Testing is a challenge, I know you are up to it!"

84

Level 3 Leadership Level 3 Verbal Skills Level 2 Listening Skills Level 1 Non-Verbal Skills 85

Leadership - Communication Level 3 - Verbal Communication The next level of being a good communicator is to know what to say and how to say it. In martial arts we say:

• "Thank You", "Please", "Yes Sir", Yes Ma'am"

What do these phrases communicate besides the words? Practice saying these to each other.

Other Verbal Skills:

There are some specific ways you can learn to say what your feelings or opinions are:

• Use "I" statements, not "You" statements • Use positive statements. Instead of saying: "You did a terrible job on your homework you didn't finish all the problems!" say "I am glad you did your homework - I would like to see each problem completed - that way you will get a good grade."

• •

As we communicate , we need to understand that the person we are talking to may have different backgrounds, experiences and opinions that create differences in how they view a subject.

86

Leadership - Communication Verbal Communication Exercise:

Practice saying the following to a partner. Ask the partner what they heard. Did you sound like you meant it?

Say: Say: "Thank you Sir!" or "Thank you "Yes Sir!" or "Yes Ma'am" Ma'am" "Please" (asking) "Please" (as an answer)

87

Level 4 Leadership Level 3 Verbal Skills Level 2 Listening Skills Level 1 Non-Verbal Skills 89

Leadership - Communication Level 4 - Leadership Skills To apply our lessons in communication as a Leader, we need to practice. We have Non-Verbal, Verbal speaking skills and Listening Skills. Each of these must be used to motivate others and educate them.

Which Non-verbal skills are the best to use? How can these Motivate? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Which Verbal skills are the best to use? How can these Motivate? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Which Listening skills are the best to use? How can these Motivate? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

Exercise:

Practice teaching a class with one person being an observer. Use all of these communication skills. Observer needs to note: Non-verbal: _____________________________________ Verbal: _____________________________________ Listening Skills _____________________________________ Motivation (circle): 1poorest 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10best Education (circle): 1poorest 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10best

91

Leadership - Communication Leadership Skills

There are many labels we wear and assume about others. Labels are the view we have about someone and they may have about us. These are based on your first impression of someone, your observations, and assumptions (correctly or incorrectly) about them. Sometimes how you think people view you is quite different from how they actually view you.

Exercise:

The instructor will put a pre-written label on your head so that you can't see it. It may say "Smart", "Slow", "Cheap", "Honest", "Dishonest", "Caring", "Intellectual", "Bad Tempered", "Shy", etc. These will be randomly assigned so the label on your head is not necessarily reflect you in normal situations, Each member in a group gets one.

Then the instructor will give you a task to perform like planning a vacation for everybody (saving the money, who will pack, who will book tickets, etc..". The rest of the members in the group will treat you like the label.

What happened? How did others treat you? How did you treat others? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Write down the label you would like to be know as: ___________ How do you think others label you? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ How do you label others? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ What can happen when you label others? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ 92

Leadership - Communication Leadership Skills Handling Confrontation When you are confronting another person:

• Never attack the person • Describe the specific observed behavior • Describe how the behavior affects others • Specifically describe the desired behavior • Encourage them and thank them

When you are confronted by another person:

• Keep your voice soft • Listen without interrupting • Ask good questions, avoid defending yourself

Make one of 3 choices:

• You can agree to do anything they say • Agree to consider what they are saying and get back to them • Tell them, with logical reasons, why you can't do what they say

Exercise:

Use the example of any argument and practice.

93

Honesty "Being Truthful, Always."

95

Leadership - Honesty

Notes:

"Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom."

- Thomas Jefferson

97

Leadership - Honesty

Leadership Level 3 Honesty with Society Level 2 Honesty with Others Level 1 Honesty within Myself

98

Leadership - Honesty Defining "Honesty"

Leaders must be people who others can trust, that are responsible for their actions and have integrity in everything they do. This defines four levels of Honesty: Level 1: Honesty within Yourself - This is also called INTEGRITY. This is the first step to developing true honesty. We can SEE who practices this because they always do the right thing regardless of who notices.

Level 2: Honesty with Family and Friends - This is developing TRUST with others that are close to you.

Others HEAR this because they are always told the truth.

Level 3: Honesty with Society - This means that we follow the rules society has. We also are willing to be honest about changing one of societies rules if we feel a rule is wrong based on our beliefs and values (not because we simply don't like it). People who practice this are actively DOing things that increase social well being.

Level 4: Honest Leadership - A Leader is an example of all of these. It is impossible to be a good leader without being a good example. First they have a strong internal honesty (INTEGRITY), then Others know they always tell the truth (TRUST), and finally they are concerned with doing the right thing regarding all the others around them. They show these characteristics and motivate others to act in accordance to these principles.

Through this training, you will develop these skills. While we may be honest at a certain level, a leader must communicate this to the people he or she is trying to lead. A leader must demonstrate the highest level of honesty to be successful in life.

99

Leadership - Honesty Honesty is Part of Life Like all of our Leadership Life Skills, Honesty relates to all other life skills. These make up the "Circle of Life:

I feel better about myself if I am Honest

m m Co

Communicate Honestly with Others

Honest with Myself about Working Hard I Follow Society's rules even if I don't like them

Act according to Beliefs

st

It's Respectful to be Honest with Others

Respe c t •

unicati

•H

m• ee

on

o f e L l c i r f i • y e S t s e e l f n Co -E

pline • Belie f sci • Di

100

Leadership - Honesty Life Skill Worksheet

Is.

..

...

Honesty Not Is

Honesty

For Parents of kids, fill this out right now and during class, we will review your thoughts.

Honesty

“Being Truthful Always!�

Honesty DOES...

101

Honesty

Level 1 Leadership Level 3 Honesty with Society Level 2 Honesty with Others Level 1 Honesty within Myself 103

Leadership - Honesty Level 1 - Honesty within Yourself Honesty within yourself is primary to a successful life. We also call Honesty inside of ourself integrity. Integrity is "Living consistently with your values and principles" and also "choosing the right choice in every circumstance."

• Doing the best you can even if no one is watching you.

• Being honest about your own performance.

• Taking criticism without taking it personally.

• Recognize your talents as well as your challenges.

• Doing chores or work without anyone telling you.

• _________________ A New Way of Thinking Leaders are people who think about what they want to accomplish (have a vision that comes from their beliefs), and are willing to make the sacrifices to make it come true. This doesn't mean they ignore their family or friends, it means that they include them in their dreams. The important thing is that their thinking is always honest.

They never make excuses or try and cover up issues. Leaders are Honest with Themselves.

"Honesty is better than any policy."

- Immanuel Kant

104

Leadership - Honesty Honesty within Yourself

Test

In the examples below, rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 indicates you agree about the statement, 1 indicates you don't agree.

1) "I always work to my maximum in Martial Arts class."

Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always

2) "I push myself to become better then I was before."

Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always

3) "I concentrate on the most important jobs ."

Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always

4) "If I find a wallet with $1000 in it, I take it to the police."

Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always

5) "When I do push-ups, I only my best if the instructor is watching."

Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always

6) "I act according to my values."

Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always

7) "I take responsibility for my actions."

Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always

8) "I do things that keep me from reaching my goals."

Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Always

105

Leadership - Honesty Honesty within Yourself "I always work to my maximum in Martial Arts class."

When you come to Karate class, you are asked to do many things - bow, kick, do forms and weapons, do 1-steps and spar. When you are doing any physical or mental activity, only you can push yourself to the limits of your abilities. The instructors (or teachers at school or bosses at work) don't know what's really going on inside of you.

Because of this it would be easy to fool yourself. For example, if a class was asked to do as many push-ups as they could do for 1 minute - you might do 40 push-ups and maybe another person did 40.

Perhaps that was the limit of their ability, perhaps they could have done more. Only they know how many they could have done. If we want to me the most successful we need to monitor our performance and understand that when we are in class, we need to be honest about how much we put into class (a lot) so we get the maximum benefit from class. Leaders always work to their maximum in class.

"The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience."

106

- Harper Lee

Leadership - Honesty Honesty within Yourself "I push myself to become better then I was before."

Like the last example, when you come to Karate class, you can choose to push hard and get big rewards or do just enough and get by. Just "getting by" is dis-honest if you value being successful. In life there are constant examples of this.

Kids: At school you may be able to easily get good grades if you are in easy classes. If I am honest with myself, I know I have to ask for more challenges so I will get better. Of course then I have to risk not getting grades as good because I may be doing harder tasks. Dis-honesty would be cruising by with good grades, but knowing that I could have done better.

Adults: At school you may be able to easily get good grades if you are in easy classes. If I am honest with myself, I know I have to ask for more challenges so I will get better. Of course then I have to risk not getting grades as good because I may be doing harder tasks. Dishonesty would be cruising by with good grades, but knowing that I could have done better.

No Excuses. Many people like to use excuses:

"I would have done better in school but the teachers didn't like me."

"I would have been more successful but the bad economy hurt me" "I was late because of the traffic" "I wasn't prepared for the meeting because my copy machine didn't work"

If you are honest within yourself, you will recognize your faults and talents and honestly identify where you can improve and who needs to do the improvement (you do). People who are honest with themselves don't use excuses like those above. While circumstances may come up (like a poor economy, or traffic), they understand that they are responsible for their abilities, how good they do, and ultimately their success in life. Leaders push themselves to become better.

107

Leadership - Honesty Honesty within Yourself "I concentrate on the most important jobs."

Honesty inside myself implies that I am doing things that are consistent with my values. Part of this is keeping my focus on what is really important to me (my values) even if sometimes it is tedious.

For example, if I want to win World Championships, my Instructor may have me do thousands of extra side kicks to perfect my form. If I am NOT being honest with myself I may be thinking about work or school, or maybe other parts of my form while I am doing the kicks instead of concentrating on the side kicks that may help me reach a goal. The quality of the side kicks (and therefore the results we get from it) would certainly suffer.

Another example may be at school or work. Most of us have many many jobs to do, and some of them are very important (to our goals and values) and some are less important. Sometimes we do the less important but easy or urgent ones before working on the more important but also more difficult ones. A Leader concentrates on the most important jobs.

"Every man should make up his own mind that if he expect to succeed, he must give an honest return for the other man’s dollar."

108

- Edward Harriman

Leadership - Honesty Honesty within Yourself "If I find a wallet with $1000 in it, I take it to police."

This also relates to being honest with others and society, but the real example here is would I do the right thing (return the wallet) even if no one would ever find out. That's real honesty within yourself because the reason you would return it is YOU. A Leader does the right thing even if they would never get caught doing a wrong thing.

"Don’t worry so much about your self-esteem. Worry more about your character. Integrity is its own reward."

- Laura Schlessinger

109

Leadership - Honesty Honesty within Yourself "When I do push-ups, I only do my best when the Instructor is watching."

Some people can look very impressive doing push-ups (or any physical or mental activity) but really they are not even trying that hard. They are being dis-honest about how hard they are working and they are really losing because they will not get much benefit from the activity.

If you are honest with yourself you would do the activity hard all the time, even if no one is monitoring you.

This applies to school (or work). Some people will only work hard if they are being supervised. Leaders don't need someone to make them do things, Leaders will do their best no matter what.

"Don’t measure your neighbor’s honesty by your own."

110

- American Proverb

Leadership - Honesty Honesty within Yourself "I act according to my values."

Values are the beliefs you have about yourself and the way you interact with the worlds around you. Do you know what your Values are? When we act with integrity, we act according to the values that we believe. We will explore our beliefs and values in more detail later, but for discussion, pick an important value from the list:

Value List

Family Health Money

Friends Being Respected Honesty Having Fun Achieving Goal Learning Being Honest Discipline Justice Parents of kid students: You should also pick what YOU think your CHILD's values are. Were you surprised?

Now re-evaluate the question: "I act according to my values." Do you score higher or lower? Leaders act according to their values.

"The cruelest lies are often told in silence."

- Adlai Stevenson

111

Leadership - Honesty Honesty within Yourself "I do things that keep me from reaching my goals."

Why would anybody do things that keep them from reaching their goals? Goals, significant goals, require a willingness to sacrifice comfort and personal needs in the short term to get results.

Many have an idea of what they want but they have learned that its easier to complain about why they don't reach their goals then to actually go out and do the work and sacrifice it takes to make a significant goal a reality.

This is also a form of being dishonest with myself - "I would be a Black Belt, but I am too busy", "I would have a successful business but I can't afford to quit my job". These may be "real" excuses, however successful people have the same issues. The honest statement would be "Its more important to have the security of my job than it is to make the sacrifice a business would require". People don't usually want to admit this however, so they are dishonest with themselves and make an excuse.

The difference between those who accomplish their goals and those who don't are the ones who are honest with themselves. To reach a higher/better level of comfort in your future you must be willing to be uncomfortable now. Leaders understand their goals and will make appropriate sacrifices to accomplish them.

"Don't mistake effort for results.

Results are what matters."

112

- Master Greg Moody

Level 2 Leadership Level 3 Honesty with Society Level 2 Honesty with Others Level 1 Honesty within Myself 113

Leadership - Honesty Level 2 - Honesty with Others Honesty with Others is essential to having good relationships. When you are honest with others you develop trust. Sometimes it may be difficult or painful to tell the truth to others. Sometimes they may stop being your friend. In the long term, however, the results you get will be more rewarding than if you had kept the truth to yourself. Of course this doesn't mean that you are only being honest if you point out faults, it means that you will be truthful with others and say what needs to be said.

Say What Needs To Be Said

Being honest means we will say what we feel even if its "hard".

Some examples are below of when you need to tell a "hard truth".

What would you say to the other person? Fill in some of your own examples: Situation

Your friend wants to drink and drive

What Do You Say?

Your friend wears clothes that don't look good You notice someone at work or school stealing Your friend is taking illegal drugs.

You don't feel comfortable with the way another person is touching you Someone hurts your feelings with words or actions

"An honest answer is the sign of true friendship."

- Proverbs 24:26

115

Leadership - Honesty Honesty with Others

Be a person others can depend on.

Honesty with others also means that we let others know that they can depend on what we say. If we make a promise, they know that we will follow through. Leaders are people who others can depend on.

Never Keep Secrets from Loved Ones.

Being honest with others means we never keep secrets from family and loved ones even if it might make us uncomfortable. People may tell us its OK to keep things from loved ones, or that we might get in trouble if we "tell" - even then we must be honest and not keep secrets from our family.

"A truth that’s told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent."

116

- William Blake

Level 3 Leadership Level 3 Honesty with Society Level 2 Honesty with Others Level 1 Honesty within Myself 117

Leadership - Honesty Level 3 - Honesty with Society Honesty with Society is what we do to be a good citizen and work together with all of the people around you. A Leader has a responsibility to be honest within their society.

Following the Rules

Governments and Societies create rules that we are supposed to obey either by law or because of ethics. There is always a reason for each rule (a "why") and often there is a consequence for not following the rule. An example of this is a speed limit - the rule is you are supposed to drive the speed limit. The why is because driving the speed limit is safer for you and others around you. The consequences are a speeding ticket, or even a terrible accident. List some other rules, whys, and consequences.

Rule

Drive the Speed Limit

Why

It's safer for you, and others around you.

Consequence

Speeding ticket, accident, someone getting killed.

Don't Steal

"The high-minded man must care more for the truth than for what people think."

- Aristotle

119

Leadership - Honesty Level 3 - Honesty with Society Part of being honest in society is not just following the rules, but also to change or improve a rule if it's needed, or doesn't apply in today's society. We must always do this within the great legal system that we have in America. A Leader has a responsibility to be honest about society.

Laws and Government

There are many ways to express our opinion about our society or directly get a law passed. The primary ways are: • Voting - This is the primary way every individual (over 18) has to express their opinion about society.

• Petitions - You can sign a petition about a subject that you want to be brought to a vote.

• Referendum - You can get a law voted on by following a referendum procedure.

• Elected Office - You can run for city, state or U.S. office, from city council to President of the United States!

• Talk to your Representative- We live in a republic, and a republic means that we elect representatives (senators, congressmen, etc.) to manage and make the laws for us. Their job is to listen to the people they represent and vote the way those people want.

How Can I make a Difference? Do I Matter to Society There are many other ways we can make a difference. List examples and discuss: "A “No” uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a “Yes” merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."

120

- Mohandas Gandhi

Level 4 Leadership Level 3 Honesty with Society Level 2 Honesty with Others Level 1 Honesty within Myself 121

Leadership - Honesty Level 4 - Leadership To apply our lessons in Honesty as a Leader, we need to behave with honesty in everything we do. We have seen we need to be honest with ourselves, our family and friends, and society. To be more Honest, we must take a close look inside and see where we can improve: Where could I be more Honest within myself? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Where could I be more Honest with my family? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Where could I be more Honest with society? What rules should I be following? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

Exercise:

Practice teaching a class with one person being an observer. Discuss Honesty (if it's supposed to be a Basic class you discuss Honesty within ourselves, if it's BBC, discuss Honesty with family, etc...).

Observer needs to note: How often was Honesty mentioned?:____________________ Did it apply to life? How? ____________________________ Motivation (circle): 1poorest 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10best Education (circle): 1poorest 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10best "With lies you may get ahead in the world - but you can never go back."

- Russian Proverb

123

Leadership - Honesty Level 4 - Leadership At the highest level a leader has all of the characteristics of trustworthiness, responsibility and integrity. Such a person, is almost automatically liked and admired.

Real leaders have to do more, however. They also need to motivate others to follow this path. It doesn't mean they have to "make" others agree with their values, it means that they honor their values and help them act with integrity.

"No legacy is so rich as honesty."

124

- William Shakespeare

Self-Esteem "Feeling Great About Myself."

127

Leadership - Self-Esteem

Notes:

"The first step to a happy life is Self-Esteem."

- Author Unknown

129

Leadership - Self-Esteem

Leadership Level 3 Confidence Level 2 Talk with a Positive Attitude Level 1 Act with Good Self-Esteem

130

Leadership - Self-Esteem Defining "Self-Esteem" Leaders must have high self-esteem because they are the people who determine the self-esteem and self-worth of those who follow them.

Level 1: Act with Self-Esteem - This first level is where we begin to develop higher selfesteem and worth by behaving with high self-esteem through how we smile, the attitude we show, our body posture and body language.

Level 2: Talk with a Positive Attitude When someone asks a person with high self esteem how they are doing, they will always get a "Great" or "Fantastic" as an answer - even if their day isn't going great! This also applies to a leader role when the leader is always positive with their followers.

Level 3: Confidence - We develop confidence in 2 ways. Firstly, by doing difficult things, we believe that we can accomplish more.

The second way is taking these skills we have and being ready to apply them to other areas that we have never done before. So the highest level of confidence arises out of a high level of selfesteem that allows us to extend skills and abilities in one area to other areas.

Level 4: Leadership - A Leader is an example of all of these. Leaders demonstrate high self-esteem in all things they do. If a leader has a bad day, he or she need to still ACT like a leader. Only "leaders" with low self-esteem tell their followers/students about difficulties they are having.

Through this training, you will develop stronger self-esteem. No matter what level your self esteem is at, we have never failed to improve the self esteem through this training. Leaders are ready to challenge themselves to reach higher levels of self-esteem.

131

Leadership - Self-Esteem Self-Esteem is Part of Life Like all of our Leadership Life Skills, Self-Esteem relates to all other life skills. These make up the "Circle of Life":

o f e L l c i r f i • y S t s e e l f- E e C on Good Communication is Positive Communication I will feel better when I act according to my Beliefs

st

Respect goes two ways - If I am respected I feel Great!

Discipline results in Great Self-Esteem because you realize you can accomplish anything

Respe c t •

unicati m m on o C

I feel better about myself if I am Honest

m• ee

•H

pline • Belie f sci • Di

132

Leadership - Self-Esteem Life Skill Worksheet For Parents of kids, fill this out right now and during class, we will review your thoughts.

Self

-Esteem Is. ..

...

-Esteem ot SelfIs N

Self-Esteem

“Feeling Great About Myself!”

Self-Esteem DOES...

133

Self-Esteem

Level 1 Leadership Level 3 Confidence Level 2 Talk with a Positive Attitude Level 1 Act with Good Self-Esteem 135

Leadership - Self-Esteem Level 1 - Act with High SelfEsteem The most obvious measure of a person's self-esteem is how they act. Since they have positive feelings about themselves, they would always act as they truly feel. They would tend to: • Not act "defensively", since they are confident with who they are, they have no reason not to listen to other's opinions.

• Be interested in other's well being.

• Act physically like they are confident.

• _________________

Exercise:

List 10 Ways People Physically Show High-Self Esteem People with great self-esteem show it in how they act. The secret is that if you ACT this way it is proven that you will FEEL this way later (even if you don't feel great about yourself to start). List 10 ways people show off their high self-esteem:

1) _____________________________________________

2) _____________________________________________

3) _____________________________________________

4) _____________________________________________

5) _____________________________________________

6) _____________________________________________

7) _____________________________________________

8) _____________________________________________

9) _____________________________________________

10) ____________________________________________ Leaders act with high self-esteem.

"You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them."

- Michael Jordan

137

Level 2 Leadership Level 3 Confidence Level 2 Talk with a Positive Attitude Level 1 Act with Good Self-Esteem 139

Leadership - Self-Esteem Level 2 - Positive Talk

It's common in society to be negative in how we talk. When we make a mistake, we tend to say "That was dumb!" rather than "if I do it this way nextLife time, I will do Esteem great!".-We usually Skill - Self Level 2 ask how many questions we missed on a test, rather than how many we got right! We worry about the errors in our form and don't take time to practice the parts we are best at. We even downplay our successes "I was just lucky!"

Often this negative talk from ourselves not from others.

Positive self-talk is crucial for reversing this trend. We need to constantly be careful of the way we think and how we say what we say so we can turn from minimizing our successes and feeling bad about our mistakes to learning to enjoy our successes and learn from mistakes. This is the key to higher self-esteem.

Exercise:

List 10 Ways People Talk Positively There are many ways to turn potentially negative statements into positive ones. List 10 different negative statements and an alternative positive one: # Negative Statement Positive Statement "I was just lucky to win that tournament" "That was great! I was proud of how I did!"

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Leaders talk positively in everything they do.

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

141

Level 3 Leadership Level 3 Confidence Level 2 Talk with a Positive Attitude Level 1 Act with Good Self-Esteem 143

Leadership - Self-Esteem Level 3 - Confidence

When we have great self-esteem we believe we can accomplish anything. This belief comes because 1) We self-esteem Lifeacted Skill -with Self high Esteem - Level 3 (Level 1 of this Life Skill) 2) We talked with high self-esteem (Level 2 of this Life Skill) 3) We learned to do more things - therefore we know we can do more than we did before and we know we can learn.

4) We develop confidence - the belief that we can do not just what we know we can do, but the feeling that I believe in myself enough that I can do anything!

To develop the highest level of self esteem, then, we need to learn.

Then over time with this new knowledge, and positive actions and speech, we will begin to believe that we can accomplish more and more. New challenges will not seem daunting, when we find a new problem, we will think about "How am I going to fix this" rather than thinking "I can't fix this.".

Exercise:

What are you confident at?

Usually we have areas that we have more confidence at. List the top 10 things you are confident about: # I am confident I can...

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Leaders have confidence to do anything.

145

Leadership - Self-Esteem Level 3 - Confidence Exercise:

Developing Confidence. Life Skill - Self Esteem - Level 3 What is something in Taekwondo you can do now that you didn't believe you could do before (for example, "I saw my instructor do a jump 360째 Side Kick and I thought 'I could never do that' and now I can do it!"): ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ How does it make you feel that you can do it now? ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ What is something that's tough to do now that you want to do? ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ What is your plan for learning it? ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________

Discussion:

Confidence means that since you know you have been able to learn tough things in the past, that you believe you will be able to do this new thing. Do you feel better about doing the new tough thing, than before you accomplished the older tough thing above?

146

Level 4 Leadership Level 3 Confidence Level 2 Talk with a Positive Attitude Level 1 Act with Good Self-Esteem 147

Leadership - Self-Esteem Level 4 - Leadership To apply our lessons in Self-Esteem as a Leader, we need to help develop great self esteem in others:

Life Skill - Self-Esteem - Level 4

How can I help people SHOW high self-esteem? How am I an excellent example? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ What should I SAY to people to help their self-esteem? Example? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ What should I DO with other to help their self-esteem? Example? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

Exercise:

Practice teaching a class and demonstrate showing high self-esteem.

Discuss what you did after each student gets to try. Repeat this for speaking to help others with their self-esteem. Do it one more time and discuss how what you do helps your confidence.

"Some leaders care about how they look. Great leaders care more about how others feel."

- Author Unknown

149

Respect "Treating Others The Way They Should Be Treated."

151

Leadership - Respect

Notes:

"Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that’s real power."

- Clint Eastwood

153

Leadership - Respect

Leadership Level 3 Respect for Society Level 2 Respect for Others Level 1 Respect within Myself

154

Leadership - Respect Defining "Respect"

Respect is defined as "to show consideration or thoughtfulness in relation to somebody or something". Leaders must be people who show Respect. This in turn creates respect for the leader.

This is true of a "quiet" leader who leads by example as well as a leader who is in a mentoring or instructor role. Our four levels of Respect are:

Level 1: Respect within Yourself - If you Respect yourself, you would treat yourself well. Your body and your mind should not just be taken care of but developed throughout your life. The body is developed by exercise, good nutrition, and avoiding bad foods or activities (like drugs). The mind is developed by how we think about ourselves, by having a great attitude and developing the confidence to do anything. Without respect for yourself, you can't truly respect others. We can SEE who practices this because they demonstrate discipline.

Level 2: Respect for Family and Friends - Respect for others is not just treating them nice, but also allowing them to have ideas different from your own. Others HEAR this because they will know you are not judging them as a person because of what they do.

Level 3: Respect for Society - Respecting society means not just the world, but all the groups we are associate with. School, clubs, work or the ATA all are organizations that serve others. Even some (like work) are there to make a profit, they provide jobs and benefits to others.

Some are just there to improve the world (the main purpose of the ATA is to "Make America Strong, by Developing Black Belts").

Society serves all of us and its our responsibility as we become a leader to support and change Society as it needs it. People who practice this are actively DOing things that increase social well being.

Level 4: Respect in Leadership - A Leader is an example of all of these and they develop the ability to help others develop this in themselves.

Through this training, you will develop these skills. While we may be respectful at a certain level, a leader must communicate this to the people he or she is trying to lead. A leader must demonstrate the highest level of respect to be a leader and develop full and happy relationships.

155

Leadership - Respect Respect is Part of Life Like all of our Leadership Life Skills, Respect relates to all other life skills. These make up the "Circle of Life:

o f e L l c i r f i • t S c e e l f p -E e C es When I have discipline, I will grow and improve. I will be a person who others Respect!

I Respect myself and others who act according to strong Beliefs.

line • Vi

sio n •

156

It's Respectful to be Honest with Others

p sci Di

It's Respectful to Communicate well with Others.

st

Honest y •

unicati m m on o C

If I Respect myself I will feel great!

m• ee

•R

Leadership - Respect Life Skill Worksheet

..

Is.

Respect

...

-Esteem ot SelfIs N

Respect

For Parents of kids, fill this out right now and during class, we will review your thoughts.

“Treating Others The Way They Should Be Treated!”

Self-Esteem DOES...

157

Respect

Level 1 Leadership Level 3 Respect for Society Level 2 Respect for Others Level 1 Respect within Myself 159

Leadership - Respect Level 1 - Respect within Yourself Respect within yourself is primary to developing successful relationships, having great self-esteem and developing an exceptional life.

When we have Respect of ourself, we develop Self-Esteem. We do this by making sure we live our lives constantly trying to improve and do things that are the best things we can do. In other words, if you only do what is best for you, eventually you will lose respect for yourself because you would know yourself to be a selfish person.

Even if others don't perceive this! Here are some ways you can show Respect to Yourself - Fill in others that you think of: • • • • • • • • • •

Giving yourself honest positive messages.

Taking care of your body.

Taking care of your mind.

Developing positive habits.. _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in) _________________________________________ (fill in)

Leaders Respect Themselves.

"Respect yourself and others will respect you."

- Confucius

161

Leadership - Respect Level 1 - Respect within Yourself Native American Code of Ethics Native Americans have a code of ethics that was published in 1994.

The following is their view on respect to others: "Showing Respect is a Basic Law of Life Treat every person from the tiniest child to the oldest elder with respect at all times.

Special Respect should be given to Elders, Parents, Teachers and Community Leaders.

No person should be made to feel "put down" by you; avoid hurting other hearts, as you would avoid a deadly poison.

Respect the privacy of every person; never intrude on a person's quiet moment or personal space.

Never walk between people who are conversing.

Speak in a soft voice, especially when you are in the presence of Elders, strangers or others to whom special respect is due.

Never speak about others in a negative way, whether they are present or not.

Show deep respect for the beliefs and religion of others.

Listen with courtesy to what others say, even if you feel that what they are saying is worthless. Listen with your heart.

Respect demands that your listen intently to the ideas of others in council and that you do not insist that your ideas will prevail.

Indeed you should freely support the ideas of others if they are true and good, even if those ideas are quite different from the ones you have contributed. The clash of ideas brings forth the Spark of Truth" "He that respects himself is safe from others. He wears a coat of mail that none can pierce."

162

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Level 2 Leadership Level 3 Respect for Society Level 2 Respect for Others Level 1 Respect within Myself 163

Leadership - Respect Level 2 - Respect for Others Leaders must develop and show respect for others. That is, in turn, how they earn respect of others.

How Do We Do It? You can do this by: • Bowing (see below) • Saying "Yes Sir!" or "Yes Ma'am!"

• Using Proper Names • Showing Courtesy (How: ____________) • Treating Others Fairly • Paying Special Attention to Parents and Family • ________________________________________ (fill in) • ________________________________________ (fill in) • ________________________________________ (fill in) • ________________________________________ (fill in) • ________________________________________ (fill in)

The Origins of the Bow

In the Martial Arts, it is common to see practitioners bowing to each other before a sparring match. The bow is similar to a handshake. The reason for the traditional bow was a way of demonstrating respect toward the other person. Another way of saying this is that the Bow is a promise that "I wont hurt you and you wont hurt me". Even though a sparring match is a "competitive" event, we still want to be friends after it. This is one way to show respect to others. Leaders Show Respect to Others.

"Every human being, of whatever origin, of whatever station, deserves respect. We must each respect others even as we respect ourselves."

- U Thant (Secretary-General of the United Nations from 1961 to 1971.) 165

Level 3 Leadership Level 3 Respect for Society Level 2 Respect for Others Level 1 Respect within Myself 167

Leadership - Respect Level 3 - Respect for Society When we discussed Honesty, we say that to be Honesty with Society is what we do to be a good citizen and work together with all of the people around you. To Show Respect to society is to work at understanding how Society works and try and do what's best for society. Being disrespectful to society would be if someone damages society.

Examples Below are some examples of respect for society with a corresponding disrespectful action. Fill out some of your own at the bottom: Respectful Action

Disrespectful Action

Put trash in a container

Litter

Thank You's to everybody

Ignoring people.

Volunteer to help needy people

Never helping outside of your family.

Donating money, clothes, food or toys.

Keeping stuff you don't need to use. Overeating when there are starving people in the world./

"We confide in our strength, without boasting of it; we respect that of others, without fearing it."

- Thomas Jefferson

169

Leadership - Respect Level 3 - Respect for Society Story

Vanessa was riding with her parents, Master Woo and her cousin Gracie to a Taekwondo demonstration at her school. Gracie was complaining because her mother had told her she was not allowed to play video games for 2 days.

Master Woo asked Gracie, "Why did she do that?"

"It was because I didn't want to go to bed so I yelled at her," said Gracie "Do you have a rule about when you are supposed to go to bed?"

Master Woo asked.

"Sure we do. I'm supposed to go to bed at eight o'clock every night."

Just then the car pulled up to a stoplight.

"Why do we have stoplights?" asked Master Woo. "I know," said Vanessa, "it's to keep us from running into other cars."

"So the stoplights are a rule that keeps us safe?"

"Yes," the girls agreed.

"Why else do we have stoplights?"

"I know," said Gracie, "stoplights let everyone have their turn."

"Right!" said Master Woo. "Right keep us safe and allow us to get along with each other. Just like stoplights. Do you see now why you should follow the rules?"

Both of the girls smile and said "Yes!" as the light turned green.

What is the moral of the story?

"I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority."

170

- E.B. White

Level 4 Leadership Level 3 Respect for Society Level 2 Respect for Others Level 1 Respect within Myself 171

Leadership - Respect Level 4 - Leadership To apply our lessons in Respect as a Leader, we need to behave with respect in everything we do. We have seen we need to be respectful to ourselves, our family and friends, and society. To show more Respect, we must take a close look inside and see where we can improve: Where could I show more Respect within myself? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Where could I show more Respect to my friends and family? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ Where could I show more Respect to society? _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

Exercise:

Practice teaching a class with one person being an observer. Discuss Respect (if it's supposed to be a Basic class you discuss Respect within ourselves, if it's BBC, discuss Respect with family, etc...).

Observer needs to note: How often was Respect mentioned?:_____________________ Did it apply to life? How? _____________________________ Motivation (circle): 1poorest 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10best Education (circle): "There are countless ways of achieving greatness, but any road to achieving one’s maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity. " - Buck Rodgers

173

About The Author 175

About Greg Moody...

Greg Moody is recognized across the country as one of the nation’s number one martial arts instructors. He was recognized by the American Taekwondo Association (the largest single style martial arts organization in the world) as the Instructor of the Year. In addition, he was honored with a Special Service award for developing a special curriculum for pre-school age kids. His schools have been selected the Nation’s Number One Schools for eight years in a row - no school has ever earned that honor more. He also teaches seminars around the nation on instruction, curriculum, marketing and business.

Sr. Master Moody’s experience goes far beyond martial arts. He has a bachelor’s degree in engineering from Arizona State University, a Master’s Degree in Counseling from ASU’s Education college and has a Ph.D. in Curriculum and Instruction with specialization in special ed. and psychology. He’s the national expert on bullying and martial arts.

He left a very successful career in engineering in 1995 because he wanted to spend his energies developing people. He felt that while engineering and developing technology is an important way to make a contribution to the world, the better way for him would be to help people directly, not through technology.

His research showed that martial arts does indeed reduce bullying in kids and further research indicated a link between martial arts training and improved self-esteem in kids. All research prior to this was only survey or case study work - this was the first controlled academic experiment ever done. He is dedicating future research activity to the links between martial arts and their benefits for kids.

He has helped martial arts schools all over the nation. Many schools have doubled or tripled their business success due to coaching and working with Sr. Master Moody. This is not just due to business advice, but because of the complete attention to all aspects of running a martial arts academy. He feels everything done in a martial arts school must be with extreme student service... with benefits to the students first in mind. Success in business and in life starts with integrity.

Sr. Master Moody has trained world and state champions... His schools have developed numerous world and national champions and hundreds of state champions in Arizona.

Starting martial arts in 1989, he earned his first degree black belt in only 20 months and his seventh degree black belt in 2012 and the title of Senior Master Instructor in 2013. He is a certified instructor in all primary weapons system, including single, double weapons, 2 styles of long staff, three sectional staff, cane, Ssahng Nat (Kama) and more.

He also holds certifications in Joint Locks, Knife Defense, Pressure Point Control Tactics, Tai Chi, Ground Fighting, Olympic Sparring, Compliance/Defense/Takedown (CDT), Last Resort Tactics (LRT), Sexual Harassment and Rape Prevention (SHARP), and Keysi Fighting Method (KFM). He is also an Olweus Bullying Prevention Certified Trainer.

Sr. Master Moody has been a speaker or presenter at: Arizona State University Banner Health Group Melmed Center American Taekwondo Association (ATA) Scottsdale Schools Paradise Valley Schools Kyrene Schools eStem Academy LaPaloma Academy Sonoran Science Academy Northwest Regional Camp Multiple Martial Arts Academies Hunnington Beach Academies STF South America Camp (Brazil, Chile, Paraguay, Uruguay, Argentina)

Seminars Developed or Taught: Tiny Tigers Level II Marketing 2001 Marketing 2002 Marketing 2003 Life Skills Basic Martial Arts Business Recruitment / Marketing Intro Lessons Upgrading Students Leadership Program Building a Curriculum and Schedule Press Release Training Goal Setting Workshop Building Real Self Esteem Bullying Prevention Program Children with Autism

Education: B.S. Engineering (1987) Master of Counseling (1999) Ph.D. Curriculum & Instruction (2012), Specialization Special Education and Psychology

Writing: Moody, G. (1992). “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (1992). “Jungian Psychology as a Tool for the Counselor”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (1992). “Myers-Briggs Type Indicator vs Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (1995). “Counseling Navajo Native Americans: General Characteristics and Gender Roles”, ASU Moody, G. (1996). “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Case Study”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (1996). “Caffeine Withdrawal ”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (1996). “Sport Psychology”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (1997). “Biography-Leadership”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (1997). “Effects of Parental Death on Children”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (1999). “Martial Arts Benefits for Children”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (2000). “Opinion Paper - The Future of Education for Gifted Kids”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (2000). “Using How People Learn Model with Leadership Skills Development”, ASU Moody, G. (2001). “Lessons Learned in Advising the Gifted – Application to Martial Arts Instruction”, ASU Moody, G. (2001). “Martial Arts and Creativity – A Review”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (2001). “Martial Arts and Creativity – Martial Arts… Creative or Not?”, ASU Moody, G. (2002). “Effects of Peer Grouping on Instructor Training in Martial Arts”, ASU Moody, G. (2002). “Equity vs. Excellence in Education”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (2002). “Learning Environments”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (2004). “Methods Chapter: Martial Arts and Self-Esteem in Children”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (2005). “Curriculum Theory Position Paper”, Arizona State University Moody, G. (2005). “Reanalysis of Martial Arts Benefits Data”, Presentation, Arizona State University Moody, G. (2008). “Basic Curriculum, KarateBuilt L.L.C., 1st Ed., Scottsdale, AZ Moody, G. (2008). “Master Club Curriculum, KarateBuilt L.L.C., 1st Ed., Scottsdale, AZ Moody, G. (2006). “The Life Skills of Leaders”, KarateBuilt L.L.C., 1st Ed., Scottsdale, AZ Moody, G. (2012). “The Effects of Martial Arts On Bullying in Children”, Arizona State University

Resources

• For Charities and Fundraising • For Parents

Schools & Non-Profit Organizations!

Let Us Help You Raise Money... Leaders Give Back To The Community!

As LEADERS, we provide programs that reward and educate students as well as raise funds for your school. Best of all there is no charge for any of these specialized services!

Awards

We offer special awards to reward special achievement.

• Top-Student Award. We provide a coupon for a free T-shirt and a seven week karate class (worth $200) to recognize special students.

Education

We work with your P.E. staff to provide additional education and safety activities. We teach life skills like discipline, respect and confidence as part of all of our classes.

Fund Raising

We offer a variety of programs to raise funds for your school.

• Your Location Class. One of our Certified instructors comes to your school for a session of four after school classes. 100% of the fees collected are donated to the school.

• Academy Class. We donate 100% of fees for a special session at Karate for Kids for any student from the school who comes in as part of the promotion. This is an easy way to raise funds for your school or PTA.

Just Fax in the information below or email leadersgiveback@KarateBuilt.com Yes! Please give me specific information for my organization on: Awards for Students.

Education and Seminars.

Safety Classes.

Fund Raising.

At Your Location.

At The Nearest Academy.

Flyers and Donations.

Specialty Classes

Organization: ________________________________ Contact Name: _______________________________ Phone(w): (____)____-______ (c): (____)____-______ Address: _____________________________________ City: ______________ State: ____ ZIP: ________ Email: _________________@__________ Organization Purpose and Goals: _________________ ____________________________________________ ____________________________________________

NOW: 1) Bring this into your nearest Academy or

2) FAX to 480-452-0886 or 3) email LeadersGiveBack@KarateBuilt.com with all the information

Parents!

Lets Get Started!

The first three pages of this book are from real parents like you who love the results they are getting... but not JUST from this book...

You see, reading and practicing on the life skills in this book is a great start toward applying the principles inside, but it's only a start!

For your children to fully realize their potential, they need guidance and supervision - that's where the Leadership Program comes in! The full time professionals at Karate for Kids will make it easy for you and build your kids into exceptional people.

Take a minute and fill out the form below and bring it into your nearest Black Belt Academy, or go to www.KarateBuilt.com/leadership for more information.

FAST and EASY Leadership Training Enrollment Form Yes! I want my kid to help my child become an exceptional Leader and success in life!!

Parent Name: _____________________________ Phone(h): (____)____-______ (c): (____)____-______ Child(ren)'s Name(s): ________________________ My Goals For My Child(ren) Are: Self-Confidence Self-Discipline Fitness Self-Defense Coordination

Safety Awareness

NOW: 1) Bring this into your nearest Academy or 2) FAX to 480-452-0886 or 3) email leadership@KarateBuilt.com ... and you will get your child started!

“Ibu has increased in self-confidence, especially when pursuing goals.”

Tina Brooks - Chandler, AZ “Our son Blake was quiet and insecure when he began Karate. Today Blake stood in front of his entire class and gave an oral report. He made eye contact with his peers and spoke loud and clear. We believe the skills he has learned in the leadership program have given him the confidence to succeed not only in school but in life” Deb & Steve Prokopek – Cave Creek, AZ “I have seen this program make phenomenal changes in people’s lives! I’m grateful to those who have inspired me in the martial arts, and I thank them all for the difference it’s made in my life” Alissa Semanko - Paradise Valley, AZ

Don't Miss The Last Few Pages Before This One!

With SPECIAL OFFERS and Resources For Charities, Fundraising & Of Course, Parents!

What They’re Saying...

“The Leadership program has helped Sammy with selfesteem at home and at school. He is always the first child to help his teachers & help Mommy at home. He has gotten more comfortable with being in front of other people. This has been a very positive experience!”

Theresa Cibulka “This has been an inspiring and fulfilling experience for my son, and the emphasis on developing positive life skills has fostered confidence & self-esteem.”

Jeffery Tang “Through Master Moody’s Leadership Program we have seen our son progress from a pensive teenager to a mature gentleman who excels not only at Taekwondo but academically and socially as well. We have come to expect excellence from Matthew - because he expects it from himself.”

Maria Nicole Egidi

Sr. Master Greg Moody is recognized across the country as one of the nation’s number one martial arts instructors.

He has a bachelor’s degree in engineering from Arizona State University, a Master’s Degree in Counseling from ASU’s Education college and a Ph.D. in Curriculum and Instruction. He was recognized by the American Taekwondo Association (the largest single style martial arts organization in the world) as the Instructor of the Year in 2000. In addition, he was honored with a Special Service award for developing a special curriculum for pre-school age kids. His schools have been selected the Nation’s Number One Schools for eight straight years! He also teaches seminars around the nation and internationally on instruction, curriculum, marketing and business.

Achievement Publishing