THE “NO” MENU
Saying “no” can be difficult at work and in your
personal life.
It’s important that you are able to say “no” when you are asked to do something unreasonable, something outside of your responsibilities or expertise, or when you are simply at capacity.
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SIMPLY “NO”
This can be said without explanation or a very brief explanation.
I’ve decided not to attend for personal reasons.
OR
No, I’d rather not take part.
BENEFITS
This gets straight to the point and can help to avoid debate.
DRAWBACKS
This can leave the other person making assumptions about why you said no because you don’t include a reasoning, but not every circumstance requires an explanation.
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THE EXPLAINED “NO”
Explain the reason(s) that you will not/can not say “yes”.
I promised I would spend the evening with my family.
BENEFITS
It is a logical reason for why you cannot say “yes”, which others often respect.
DRAWBACKS
I have another commitment, I have to... OR ©
It can be tempting to over explain why you are saying “no”, which can decrease the e ectiveness of your communication.
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THE RAINCHECK “NO”
Explain why you cannot say “yes” this time, but that you want to encourage future requests.
What a great opportunity! If it were any other weekend, I’d love to come with you. Please put my name on the top of your list next time you offer this workshop.
BENEFITS
This allows you to say “no” while still expressing interest in what you were invited or asked to do, leaving the opportunity in the future open. Without the raincheck piece, they may interpret your “no” as disinterest.
DRAWBACKS
You should make sure to say “yes” to the request when it is made in the future to show that you were serious about following through at a future date!
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THE EMPATHIC “NO”
Express that you understand how the person will react to a “no” and that you regret that you have to say “no”.
I know you are disappointed and...
OR
I know how much you hoped this would work and I truly wish that I did not have to say no, however...
BENEFITS
Shows the other person that you care and are considering the impact you saying “no” will have on them.
DRAWBACKS
Make sure to address how they are feeling without making assumptions so that your communication is validating even when saying “no”.
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“YES AND” OR “YES IF”
Express that you would like to be in a position to say “yes” by explaining exactly what you need in order to say “yes”
Yes we can do it and it will mean that we have to bring in some temporary help or postpone delivery on this project.
BENEFITS
Yes I can prepare this presentation for you, if we are able to postpone the team meeting. OR
This sets clear expectations on what resources you need in order to deliver on the “yes”.
DRAWBACKS
This approach requires you to ensure your requests are met, sometimes you may need to follow up multiple times or ask how likely it is that your request can be met.
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THE ALTERNATIVE “NO”
If you cannot say “yes”, o er the person other options they could try.
I can’t be at the meeting, but (blank) could explain the project in my place.
BENEFITS
OR
I can’t meet that deadline, but I know a freelancer that could do that for you on short notice.
This demonstrates your concern for their dilemma and a collaborative approach.
DRAWBACKS
Others may feel disappointed at being o ered other options, so be thoughtful who you use this with.
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