FEBRUARY 2016 • V2 I1
Goliath Media Inc. 1874 Piedmont Ave., Suite 370-C Atlanta, GA 30324 404.418.8901 Management William Duffee-Braun
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FEBRUARY 2016 • V2 I1
Contents
Love, redefined. Despite what your social feed says, gay relationships don’t begin and end with marriage equality. Dive into ways gay men still enjoy the freedom to create our own versions of love.
Love on the Rocks. One sure sign that Atlanta’s gay year is back in full swing, Joining Hearts kicks off its 2016 fundraising event series with the annual cocktail gala that’s all about love.
Brezza Cucina. In a year all about looking back with a new twist – we’re looking at you Star Wars and Full House –Atlanta’s nostalgic throwback to the future, Ponce City Market, elevates a local chef’s greatest hits.
London calling. One of Pride’s favorite gays left Atlanta last year to cross the pond and marry the man of his dreams. Now the Southern charmer plays tour guide in our travel column.
InstaDate. Two guys paint the town in statement-making blazers. We tag along on their date as they dress up their love in eye-popping styles that will last way past Valentine’s Day.
Editor’s Note Cozying up with a man, a dog, and a big serving of your go-to beverage sounds so good right now. That goes double this time of year, especially if you add a crackling fireplace and make it a mug of something warm and soothing. It may not feel like it right this minute, but you’ve already made it halfway through winter. We’re in the home stretch toward the glorious thaw of spring, but it’s not all wind chills and weather advisories until then. Never ones to lay low, the men of Goliath are keeping busy with this month’s issue. It makes the most of these short days and long nights with plenty of toasty tidbits and seasonal sass to keep you cozy. The turning of the calendar to February also means it’s officially the Season of Love. Whether you, in fact, love that notion or not, Valentine time in gay Atlanta isn’t all pink hearts and singles shaming. In fact, Joining Hearts celebrates all of us, single and coupled, with its annual Love On the Rocks cocktail party. Check out our preview.
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And speaking of a different kind of love song, check out all the ways gay men define our love stories in this month’s cover piece. I enjoyed trying on each of them for size and seeing how you guys go about loving your own fireplace cuddle buddies. And if defining yours means matrimony, we round up some fabulous local spots to tie the knot. You can also tag along as we take a date to this month’s fashion spread. Then we visit London with a gay Atlanta transplant, hit Brezza for a meal at Ponce City Market, catch up with Lambda Legal’s plan for 2016, and make photo appearances at local events. Like we said, there’s plenty to keep you busy as we all wait out winter in style.
Mike Fleming EDITORIAL DIRECTOR
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G EVENTS
Agenda
G O LIATH
Must Attend Events
photo: Charlie McCullers courtesy Atlanta Ballet
photo: Matt Hennie for Project Q
Moulin Rouge
NFFLA Super Bowl Party
‘Disgraced’
The iconic bohemians of 19th Century Paris and its most famous Cancan cabaret bring all the glamor and magic you love plus all the talent and skill of the Atlanta Ballet. The movie tells the story of rising stardom and starcrossed young love, but this production brings the sizzle and scandal to life. The show runs February 5-13 at Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre, 2800 Cobb Galleria Parkway. cobbenergycentre.com
There’s no better time to meet the gay and allied men of National Flag Football League of Atlanta for a beer. The guys host this annual watch party with friendly bets, fundraising specials, and all the bro-tastic camaraderie that gay football fans love. Oh right, and you can also watch the two NFL finalists go at it in the Big Game. It all goes down at Blake’s on the Park, 227 10th Street NE, on February 7, 3 p.m. nffla.com
Ripped from the headlines and gnawing at audiences with gripping drama, this play examines an American identity far more complicated than the old melting pot story. Meet Amir Kapoor, a successful lawyer moving up the corporate ladder and distancing himself from his Muslim roots. Then come to his dinner party where a friendly conversation explodes into something dangerous. Become a part of the conversation in post-show discussions through February 14 at Alliance Theatre, 1280 Peachtree St. NE. alliancetheater.org
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88th Academy Awards If the Super Bowl earlier this month wasn’t your thing, the real gay Super Bowl closes out awards season with the big guns. The Oscars hits the red carpet with all the fashions, stars, movie moments, as well as all the unscripted slip-ups, off-screen scandals and a few surprises for next week’s water cooler. Is it finally Leo’s year? Will ‘Carol’ break the lavender ceiling? Tune into ABC as Chris Rock hosts on February 28 at 8 p.m.
Bill Maher: Unflinching & Unflustered If anyone has our gay backs in popular culture, it’s this veteran comic and flaming liberal. He brings all the sharp sass and scathing commentary from HBO’s Real Time to Atlanta in this one-night-only event. Help him re-set the boundaries of political humor yet again on his latest tour riffing the Tea Party, touting the unseen virtues of marriage equality, and more. On February 19 at 8 p.m., see him do his thing at Cobb Energy Performing Arts Centre, 2800 Cobb Galleria Parkway. cobbenergycentre.com
photo: Russ Youngblood
Love on the Rocks
Kat Edmonson
A gay Valentine cocktail party that never makes you feel bad for being single on the Big Day. In fact, singles are celebrated as much as anyone at Joining Hearts’ season kickoff. Start their 2016 drive against HIV/AIDS with signature fundraisers, now with an expanded mission and more beneficiaries than ever. DJ Mike Pope and hundreds of your red-shirted friends raise a glass to the group’s continued success. Join the party on February 13, 7 p.m. at Cantoni, 1011 Monroe Drive NE. joininghearts.org
Vintage Lounge Baroque Pop never sounded so good. Welcome to Kat’s world, where a singer-songwriter who took a ticket to Hollywood on Season 2 of “American Idol” and built a career on singular vocals. Get in on the voice behind the breakout albums Take to the Sky, Way Down Low, The Big Picture, and the song “Lucky” in the Tina Fey flick Admission. It’s all coming for you on February 17, 8 p.m. at Variety Playhouse, 1099 Euclid Ave. NE. varietyplayhouse.com
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GOLIATHATLANTA.COM 13
G EVENTS
Not to be Missed
G O LIATH
Red Hot for Joining Hearts By Jason Mietelski
Valentine cocktails kick off the fundraising year for gay-beloved benefactors at Joining Hearts’ 9th annual Love on the Rocks party.
G
ay men know the importance of celebrating life every single day, and also how crucial it is to support those living with HIV/AIDS. When it comes to raising funds and awareness, we each pick up the ball and run with it in our own special way. Some of us make sure it’s exciting and entertaining for everyone to enjoy. That’s where Joining Hearts, the yearlong event series with the mission “to raise awareness and funds to provide care and housing assistance to people living with HIV/AIDS in Atlanta,” comes in. Since 1987, Joining Hearts has donated nearly $2 million to its beneficiaries, providing medical care and assistance, housing, meals, and more to thousands in gay Atlanta and beyond. That means when you attend one of their events throughout each year, you play an integral role in giving back to the community and the cause. This year, 2016 is only different in that it comes with an expanded mission to benefit more non-profit HIV agencies than ever before, and because it inches us closer to finding a cure. To that end, Joining Hearts’ 6th annual Love on the Rocks cocktail party kicks off the giving year in style.
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“This year, we have more than 30 men and women who are great at throwing great and exciting parties,” says Jerry Henderson, president of Joining Hearts. “My goal is to make this the best Love on the Rocks ever!” The February 13 event takes place in the opulent Cantoni Furniture Show Room. Surely you noticed the date! Yes, since this is a Valentine themed party, so show up in red or other V-Day-appropriate garb ready to celebrate love, whether you’re in it or you’re single and ready to mingle. General admission and VIP tickets give you access to the exclusive party, drink specials by Ketel One, a fabulous auction, house grooves by DJ Mike Pope, and of course gay Atlanta’s hottest men. “The party was created to be a celebration of love and friendship for all members of our community,” Henderson says. “And get ready—our sexy heartthrobs will be behind that bar serving up your favorite cocktails. There will also be a silent auction featuring one-of-a-kind items that will not disappoint and offers something for everyone. “The whole event has become my favorite of the year,” he adds. “It’s fun seeing everyone all dressed up in their festive Valentine’s Day attire.”
photo: Russ Youngblood
Want to go? What: When: Where:
Love On The Rocks February 13, 7 p.m. Cantoni 1011 Monroe Drive NE Tickets: $35 general admission, $65 VIP More: joininghearts.org
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G DINING
Taste This
G O LIATH
Out with the New, in the Old? Ponce City Market’s tasteful Brezza Cucina made for a gracious gay Throwback Thursday date night in a year already ripe for nostalgia.
By Tray Butler be mostly seafood. Neither of these assumptions are accurate. Our server described the ever-changing menu as “New American with Italian influences.” It also offers throwbacks to Waxman’s biggest achievements elsewhere. In the rear of the space, a flank of uniformed cooks bustled around a wood-fired oven; the open kitchen is a signature element of his empire, and a few other trademarks appeared on the menu. This is where our server stumbled. Note to employees of celebrity-driven restaurants: When asked about the curious abbreviations on your menu, it might be wise to say more than, “JW stands for Jonathan Waxman.” This is your chance to explain to the uninitiated that the roasted chicken covered in an unusual salsa verde is an often-requested favorite from the founder’s other restaurants. Leaving out this tidbit might make the menu sound a bit haughty. We were disappointed to hear that the lobster gnocchi – rumored to be Brezza’s standout dish – had been replaced with a hen of the woods variation. Our server fared better with his recommendation to start with the salame pizza. Greasy, yes; filling, definitely. Also, delicious.
A
s we polished off dessert at Brezza Cucina, the stylish new Ponce City Market bistro, I turned to my dinner date and asked, “Wait, what year is it again?”
I was kidding. Mostly. The first days of January often leave me sort of jetlagged, but my temporal unrest has been off the hook in 2016. Gas prices have dipped below $2. Folks are buzzing about “Star Wars,” “Full House” and “The X-Files.” Our next president could be a Bush or a Clinton. The “new” year so far feels suspiciously like a rerun. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Nostalgia accounts for much of the fun of visiting Ponce City Market. The renovation of the former Sears, Roebuck and Company building handled its retro-modern design elements with care and ingenuity. Its recent rebirth into a New Urbanist complex is nothing short of miraculous. No wonder Chef Jonathan Waxman chose the refurbished market for his first Atlanta venture, Brezza Cucina. The 66-year-old restaurateur knows a thing or two about reinvention. He earned the title “celebrity chef” by bringing California cuisine to New York’s Upper East Side in the 1980s, has owned myriad high-profile restaurants and just as many flame-outs, and has held every spot on the culinary food chain. Along the way, he also competed on two
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seasons of “Top Chef: Masters,” published two cookbooks, and taught Martha Stewart how to roast a chicken. Not that you need to know any of this to enjoy an evening at Brezza. Buzz over Waxman’s joint venture with Adam Evans, former executive chef at the Optimist in West Midtown, began to build late last summer. In October, they finally opened as an anchor tenant in Ponce City Market’s Central Food Hall. A recent visit to the roomy 150-seat restaurant found the staff jovial and accommodating, which added to the relaxed vibe of the subtly designed space. Despite the exposed ductwork ceilings and imposing columns, the dining room felt cozy and not too noisy for conversation. We were seated at a four-top near two giggling women wearing fedoras (no doubt purchased that night). A handful of business-attired types were holding court at the glowing main bar. Something about the bottle display and moody ochre lighting reminded me of a liquor ad from an early 1980’s gentlemen’s magazine, a noticeable whiff of Reagan-era affluence. The mood overall, though, better matched the restaurant’s name, “breeze” in Italian. Such a name seems to imply a traditional Italian trattoria. Also, in light of Evans’s tenure at the Optimist, you might expect the menu to
Ditto for my date’s heritage pork chop served with spicy chickpea fries, a replacement entrée for an uncooperative hangar steak. Despite the minor stumbles, Brezza earned points for its ambiance, hands-on floor staff, and exemplary customer service. Our meal ended with what might’ve been the real star of the evening, a delectable chocolate budino served with whipped cream and a brutti ma buoni cookie. After inhaling two of these, I wandered out into the food hall, dazed on a sugar high, dying to know what irresistible reruns 2016 may have in store next. Brezza Cucina, 675 Ponce De Leon Ave., Ponce City Market, 404-724-9700, brezzacucina.com
GOLIATHATLANTA.COM 17
G COMMUNITY
In the Know
G O LIATH
Lambda Legal:
Keeping up the Fight By Dustin Shrader
Simone Bell
photos: Courtesy Lambda Legal
W
hen history marks the path of gay rights, Lambda Legal will have laid many of the mile markers. It’s an ongoing responsibility that the nation’s oldest and largest legal organization tackles every day, including right here in Atlanta at the hardworking Southern Regional Office. Fighting for full equality in the realms of litigation, education and public policy, Lambda makes far-reaching accomplishments in ways as high-profile as the Supreme Court’s landmark marriage equality decision last year, to myriad smaller cases advocating for the LGBT freedoms and protections of people across the country and here at home.
with the organization while she gets settled into her new role. “Our work is vital, and our strategy works: We make the case for equality in the nation’s courts and in the court of public opinion,” Bell asserts. “Until we achieve full equality under the law in every state in this country, we will keep fighting and moving history forward. We are committed to the work.” Never one to back down from a fight in the legislature, Bell made a name for herself at the statehouse. She returns to Lambda Legal reinvigorated and motivated.
They do it with the grassroots support and fundraisers like Atlanta’s fun and informative Southern Love Affair event on January 30. The gathering features Lambda’s executive director Kevin Cathcart welcoming fiercely devoted LGBT advocate Simone Bell as the new Southern Regional Director.
“I’ve been out since I was 13 years old,” she says. “I’m an issues person by nature and have always seen it as my responsibility to stand up for what’s righteous. … I stay committed to the work because it’s long-term work. No single established right is going to bring about full equality for our entire community, so we have to keep fighting if we want to win.”
“While it’s true that the LGBT community has made advances in gaining rights, there is still so much work to be done,” Bell says.
But 2016 isn’t all work and no play for Lambda Legal. Take the January 30 event for example, Bell says.
A former member of the Georgia House, she returns to the Lambda Legal fold after three successful terms as the first out lesbian African American in any state legislature. We had the pleasure of getting reacquainted
“A Southern Love Affair is a reception for our Liberty Circle Members, as well as an opportunity to celebrate the work of our Atlanta team,” she notes. “The Atlanta Leadership Committee and local National Board Members
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are energized and committed to making sure we highlight Lambda Legal’s work and wins across the South.” All in all, Lambda Legal is a beacon of hope ready to armor up and soldier on in the fight for justice, something Bell says the community needs to know. “We often have to do our cases in silence in the South because of culture and lack of protections, but we’re not deterred,” she says. “We fight and we win.”
Want to go? What: A Southern Love Affair When: January 30, 6 p.m. Where: National Center for Civil & Human Rights 100 Ivan Allen Jr. Blvd. More: LambdaLegal.org/AtlantaLibertyCircle
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GOLIATHATLANTA.COM  19
G DATING
Technical Difficulties
G O LIATH
Gay Dating Text-iquette
H
By Mike Fleming
aving the option to shoot a quick text is a convenience every gay man can appreciate after a date, during a relationship, or any time two guys need a quick communiqué . But it can’t substitute for human interaction, and we shouldn’t use it to do the heavy lifting of real communication.Here are some texts we hope you never send or receive.
Games People Play
Lengthy Longings
New rule: Use your words. Acting aloof by text can be summed up one word: Don’t. Here’s another: Communicate. Here’s two more: Grow up.
Big Decisions
New rule: Don’t send a text that’s longer than half an inch. Text is the wrong place to hash things out. If it’s important, say it in person, and if it’s so important you have to say it in a text, keep it brief and at least give him time to respond.
Intensity Check
New rule: Never define a relationship by text. Boys, not men, avoid feelings of in-person conversations. Texts are for confirming short-term plans, not making long-term ones.”
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New rule: Appropriate level of intensity. Maybe go with something a little more endearing than a heart emoji by itself, but don’t get carried away. If you think you might be in the danger zone, have a friend check it before sending.
Drunky the Texting Homo
New rule: Don’t drunk text. Turn off your phone and go to bed.
G TRAVEL
Explore
G O LIATH
A Gay Southerner in London By Buck Cooke
A
s one of the most glamorous and thriving of the world capitals, London has much to offer. Yes, there are tourist traps and big-ticket items like Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament, and Westminster Abbey. But there are also plenty of other things to do and see that carry only a small price tag or are completely free, including most of the museums. When love calls you to London, you answer. I did, anyway, with the thick-accented man of my dreams. But while I still feel like I’m living in a dream as I settle into life as a wannabe gay Londoner, here are some of the less touted attractions that continually catch my fancy that you should be sure to check out while you’re here.
When love calls you to London, you answer.
Greenwich and the River Thames One of my favorite things to do with visiting friends is to hop on a Clipper and cruise east to Greenwich. When I was dating my husband, he took me on this trip, and the sights were electrifying. For history buffs, the Cutty Sark – one of the last tea clipper ships ever built – is near the Thames, and the Royal Observatory is in Greenwich Park, where you can stand on the Prime Meridian at the home of Greenwich Mean Time.
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The Sky Garden Book a free appointment online to visit atop 20 Fenchurch Street, one of London’s most iconic skyscrapers known to locals as “the Walkie Talkie.” Treat yourself to incredible panoramic views. There is a café/bar and two restaurants on the roof as well, but I think they’re overrated and overpriced. Tower Bridge An iconic sight, most Americans think it’s called “London Bridge,” which is a different bridge on the Thames that’s much less fabulous. The views of the skyline and river nearby are amazing, and if you can snag a romantic marriage proposal on the river bank like I did from my now-husband, I highly recommend it. Inside, explore the history and inner-workings between the pylons almost 140 feet in the air with breathtaking views and a glass floor. St. Dunstan in the East A true find in the middle of central London, this park was once a church. Destroyed by the Great Fire of London in 1666, rebuilt, then destroyed by the Nazi Blitzkrieg during World War II, the building’s remains were turned
into a striking public garden in the ‘60s. This hidden beauty is worth the hunt, and is just a short walk from Tower Bridge, the Tower of London, and Sky Garden. Gay it up Everything in London feels a little gay, to be honest, but if you’re looking for nightlife, the Soho and Clapham neighborhoods are crawling with our people. Find the club XXL with amazing music by two DJs spinning in unique settings under railway arches, and keep your eyes peeled for La Voix, a vocalist, emcee and drag artist who performs all over town. London is also home to the world’s oldest gay rugby team, the Kings Cross Steelers, who just celebrated their 20th anniversary. If you visit in April, catch their annual performance that packs out Heaven’s G-A-Y night to a sold out crowd. Gayer? You can see many of the site listed here via londongaytours.com. Some attractions offer discounts or priority admittance online, so do your research. And don’t forget about the pound versus the dollar. Exchange rates are not your friend here, but the city always satisfies, and you can’t put a price on that. Cheers! After living in Atlanta for 15 years, former Atlanta Pride executive director Buck Cooke followed his heart and his man to London, where he hopes to educate all of Europe on the use of the word “y’all” and finally meet Kylie Minogue.
G FEATURE
G O LIATH
gay
24 FEBRUARY 2016 • V2 I1
DEFINING
OUR OWN
love story By Mike Fleming
Whether you’re younger or older, coupled or single, and no matter what gay subculture you call yours, you may have noticed that the legalization of marriage for gay couples came with an odd little phenomenon. The U.S. Supreme Court unwittingly ushered in a new era, including the polarizing notion that gay couples should get married, instead of can get married.
N
o matter who you are, our social feeds are already telling the updated version of the age-old love story. Longtime pairs are tying the knot in droves with ceremonies from simple to extravagant, but tons of short-term couples are also jumping into nuptials because marriage is “so hot right now.” Activists and advocates are fond of reminding us that “we still have work to do” after marriage. But rather than stamping marriage “done” and setting it aside, there may also be work left to do in gay culture on relationships and what it means to marry.
Luckily, it’s not an either-or proposition. Rather than get caught up in normative ideas of what marriage is, we can now actually have it all. How? Stop insisting that there’s one right way to engage with each other, recognize the awesome assortment of approaches we can take, and stop expecting everyone to feel and act the same way.
This Valentine season, welcome marriage as only one of the gay relationship options, and only then as it’s defined and redefined by each couple. Which type(s) of gay love do you do, which have you tried, or may tempt you to find a new one?
It’s great that the option exists for gay men to be just as legally committed or just as impulsive as any straight couple next door, on the street, or on marriage competition reality shows. On the other hand, there’s a rumble of discontent over loss of something distinctly ours, distinctly gay: Without marriage equality, we were free to define our relationships in non-traditional ways like no other demographic.
Some gay guys aren’t as in love with marriage and its ideals as so many others appear to be. On the contrary, they still eschew the constraints of the sanctioned institution as hetero at best, restrictive at least, and played out at worst. They long for a time when no legalized marriage meant the sweet freedom to not marry.
As is appropriate in every situation, we can hearken back to the great gay muse, that sage soothsayer, that endless font of advice: Carrie Bradshaw. After the trials and tribs of singlehood and matrimony, Darren Star’s fictional dating diva figured out at the end of the deliciously awful “Sex and the City 2” what her sexually fluid married gays Stanford and Anthony knew at the beginning: There’s more than one way to skin a relationship.
This Valentine season, we welcome marriage as only one of the following gay relationship options, and only then as it’s defined and redefined by each couple. Turn the page to dive into our Top Six, and check out the pros and cons of each. Which type(s) of Gay Love do you do, which have you tried, or may tempt you to find a new one?
GOLIATHATLANTA.COM 25
SERIAL MONOGAMY
Most of us are, were, or have tried to be this kind of gay. You like the “mating for life” concept and go around applying it to each guy you date, one at a time. The boys may call you “emotionally slutty,” but it works with varying degrees of success for scores of gay men. Pros & Cons Serial monogamy often gives you emotional security, familiarity, societal approval, a distinct lack of jealousy, and maybe even reduced risk of STDs. On the downside, you might also get boredom, societal pressure to take it further, as well as decreasing emotional and physical pleasure over time. Still, it may fit you just right to give all your love to one guy at a time without biting off the broader expectations of traditional marriage.
OPEN RELATIONSHIPS
Like the serial monogamist, most of us also know of, or have been in, open relationships. “Consensually non-monogamous” couples, like other types of relationships, can define their open agreements in multiple ways. Perhaps it’s to stay emotionally monogamous but not sexually, or perhaps it’s open to explorations of the body and heart outside the couple. Pros & Cons You get to indulge your wandering eye and you get more varied experiences. Of course, you might also get time management challenges, competition, and jealousy. Advance planning and clear agreements are crucial, and honest communication can help solve conflicts if it does arise.
“You have to take tradition and decorate it your own way. … when it comes to relationships, there’s a whole range of colors and options to explore.” – Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City 2
POLYAMORY
You love Dick, and lord knows you love hairy, er, Harry. You also love Tom. And damn it, they love you back. Polyamorous gay relationships between more than two guys are more common than some people realize. Whether there is a clear “Alpha” couple, one guy with multiple spouses, or egalitarian sharing of the love, triads, quadrangles and other configurations are available to explore. Pros & Cons Big pluses here include sexual variety, additional “team members” for support, and deep friendships between non-intimate partners. You might also develop a skill for communication as each partner learns to express his needs. Cons? Societal misunderstandings, inequity, “ganging up” on individual members in disagreements, and that old nag, jealousy.
NON-EXCLUSIVE DATING
Unlike serial monogamy, these guys have no intention of ever putting a ring on it or in any way tying their love to just one man. You like him, you may even love him, and you may also feel the same way about other guys. When friends with benefits keep it casual, your place is not his place, your life is not his life, and that’s just the way you like it.
Pros & Cons Independence means you can take care of yourself and you have the skill to self-motivate and self-please. It also means you can be a little inflexible, unaccommodating and hard to work with, plus you only have the resources of one person to accomplish things.
MARRIAGE
While it’s popularly viewed as the ultimate commitment and show of love, the rising divorce rate suggests otherwise. Still, when expectations are aligned, one-to-one commitment for life works as the go-to ideal for many gay couples. Married people are adept at the art of compromise and even live longer. The successful pairings – as well as their potential kids – thrive on the structure marriage can afford them. Pros & Cons Married guys have a built-in support system, someone to take care of them when they’re sick, a date to every party, usually increased social status, and together they can often accomplish more goals faster. Then again, they’re more likely to be overweight, in debt, and too reliant on each other at the expense of other friendships and their own independence.
LOVE YOURSELF
The one kind of gay love most often overlooked and arguably the most important is self-love. No, not that kind. OK, not only that kind. Many gay men have gotten so used to denying themselves that they actually think it’s impossible to get what they want. Worse, many of us don’t even believe we’re entitled to it. Enjoy singlehood by treating yourself, trusting yourself, and making sure your needs are met. Pros & Cons Every psyche study, ever, points out that loving yourself is the surest way to contentment and satisfaction. When you love yourself, you usually get to do what you want, but conversely you may be unable to let others have their way. Learning to trust yourself and love your own company trumps any validation you might get from other people. And as it turns out, the ageless wisdom of RuPaul was right: “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Sources: Psychology Today, Positively Sexual, Thought Catalog
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Doing I-Dos In Style
Say Yes to the Guests So you and your man have defined your personalized brand of gay love. Now you might also decide that it’s time for your very own Big Fat Gay Wedding.
Historic Dekalb Courthouse
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Fox Theatre 1920s faux-mideastern gilt and glam 660 Peachtree Street NE 404-881-2100 foxtheatre.org
Stonehurst Place Bed & Breakfast on lovely grounds 923 Piedmont Road 404-881-0722 stonehurstplace.com
Say “I do” to each other and “Yes” to a ceremony, reception and guests at one of these gay-friendly wedding venues in Atlanta, from sprawling and fancy to hip and intimate.
The Gathering Spot’s Terminal Event Space Atlanta’s newest city club with an industrial edge 384 Northyards Blvd. NW 315-820-2394 thegatheringspot.club
Terminus 330 Rustic chic in converted, historic depot 330 Marietta St. 678-956-7957 terminus330.com
Atlanta Botanical Garden Private spaces with penultimate scenery 1345 Piedmont Avenue NE 404-876-5859 atlantabg.org
Georgian Terrace Opulent Beaux-arts ballrooms and stairwells 659 Peachtree St. NE 404-897-5053 thegeorgianterrace.com
Ventanas Downtown rooftop views and helicopter access 275 Baker St. 404-766-3867 ventanasatlanta.com
Buckhead Theatre Cool theater and ballrooms available 3110 Roswell Road 404-THE-BUCK thebuckheadtheatre.com
Historic Dekalb Courthouse 19th Century Neoclassical, floor-to-ceiling windows 101 East Court Square, Decatur 404-373-1088 dekalbhistory.org
Wimbish House 19th century castle, “The Grand Old Lady of Peachtree” 1150 Peachtree St. NE 404-870-8833 thewimbishhouse.com
Millenium Gate Museum Under the Atlantic Station Arch 395 17th St. NW 404-881-0900 thegateatlanta.com
Zoo Atlanta Gorgeous event spaces with access to exhibits 800 Cherokee Ave SE 404-624-5600 zooatlanta.org
ith legal marriage, an increasing number of male couples are graduating from shacking up to popping the question. And hint-hint: Valentine season is the perfect time to drop some jewelry on a dude and make a fuss in front of your friends and family.
Callanwolde Fine Arts Center Historic mansion with all the amenities 980 Briarcliff Road NE 404-872-5338 callanwolde.org Fernbank Museum of Natural History Modern architecture with prehistoric flare 767 Clifton Road 404-929-6300 fernbankmuseum.org
Rhodes Hall Authentic Victorian in modern Midtown 1516 Peachtree St. NW 404-885-7800 georgiatrust.org
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G SHOPPING
Must Haves
G O LIATH
Winter Shopping to
Get Your Sexy Back By Mike Fleming Maybe the cold, harsh weather is doing a number on your psyche and your skin. Or maybe a breakup is weighing a little too heavy on your swagger. Whatever your issue, perk up. There are five tried-and-true ways to get your sexy back – Pamper and Groom, Ditch the Sweats, Touch Yourself, Exercise and Accessorize. We found products in each category that you’ve got to get your hands on this season. And obvi, several make great V-Day gifts to bring back the spark as well.
STEP 1: PAMPER & GROOM 1
Spa-like moments are the best way to kickstart your sexy. Not only is a well-groomed man hard to resist, inner confidence comes from knowing you’re treating and taking care of yourself. 1. Ultimate Man Full Body Refueling Set kiehls.com $58
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2. ShaveTech Pocket Razor for touchups with USB charger for car or laptop shavetech.com $30 3. Anti-Fatigue Cooling Eye Gel Rollerball serum for undereye skin At Clinique for Men counters or clinique.com $28
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STEP 2. DITCH THE SWEATS
Unless you’re working out, going to or from the gym, or on the couch, your sweats say, “Hey, I’m between jobs, a lunk, or a little too depressed to be dressing for a movie.” Not hot. Find your sexy and keep your comfort in these high-style twists on casual classics.
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1. Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars II Rebuild of classic with arch support, microsuede and embroidered logo $75 2. Rocker 13.5 Oz American Indigo Jeans Not too wide, not too skinny Multiple washes available Jeanshop.com $260 3. Front-zip cashmere hoodie Nordstrom $99
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STEP 3. TOUCH YOURSELF
Getting back in touch with your sexy side means getting back in touch with your sensitive, sensual skin. Touch it with these luxurious basics. 1. Amrapur Bedsheets Egyptian Cotton, 1500 Thread Count $105 set wayfair.com
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2. Tommy John Second Skin Trunks Cool comfort, multiple colors and patterns Also in briefs, undershirts and socks $29 3. Superior 900 Gram Towel Set Egyptian Cotton, 6 pieces, multiple colors $95
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STEP 4. EXERCISE
Feeling fit is halfway to feeling your sexiest. If you’ve lost a step since the holidays, get back on your fitness plan to assuage winter blues. Looking good doing it is sexy too. 1. MetCon 1 Cross Trainers Near-endless color combinations Nike $89 1 2
2. P30 BLK AKTIV Joggers “Silk web” design, cropped, cuffed, stitched Available in Atlanta at Boy Next Door $79
STEP 5. ACCESSORIZE
You’re starting to get your sexy back. Now pack a little something extra to put your confidence and cool factor over the top.
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1. VSSL Flask Plus Includes bottle opener, shot glasses, compass and flashlight vsslgear.com $75 2. Karoo Cobra Aviators Various finishes, prescription or non-prescription Available at Karoo Ponce City Market or gokaroo.com $149+ 3. Vector Luna Smart Watch Customizable notifications, available in leather or steel band $249 - $399
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#INSTA DATE PHOTOGRAPHER: JRCHRISTIANSENSTUDIO FASHION StYLIST: ISTYLEATWORK
MODELS: MICAH BLAISE @IDENTITIES INC & MICHAEL ROBERT YOUNG DESIGNERS: NAUMANPIYARJI.COM TWISTEDLIAR.COM
MICHAEL Black Blazer: Ted Baker Shirt: Zara Tie: Viktor & Rolf Jeans: Calvin Klein MICAH Tuxedo Jacket: Nauman Piyarji Shirt/Tie: DSquared Jeans: DSquared
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MICAH Purple Brocade Blazer: Nauman Piyarji Purple Stripped Shirt: Ted Baker Jeans: G Star Raw
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MICAH White Beaded Brocade Blazer: Nauman Piyarji Shirt/Slacks: Vince Camuto
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MICHAEL Black/White Brocade Blazer: Twisted Liar Black Turtleneck/Slacks: Zara
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MICAH Gold Blazer/White Tuxedo Shirt: Nauman Piyarji Red Slacks: Twisted Liar
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MICAH Purple Brocade Blazer: Nauman Piyarji Purple Stripped Shirt: Ted Baker Jeans: G Star Raw MICHAEL Black Wool/Velvet Tuxedo Blazer: Nauman Piyarji Black V Neck: TopMan Paid Pants: Twisted Liar
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Feb. 6, 2016 | Midtown Bowl
1936 Piedmont Cir. N.E., Atlanta, GA 30324 Grab your tights, break out that cape, and put on your mask, because HRC needs the help of the heroes of Atlanta in the fight for full LGBT Equality. Join us for two hours of bowling, prizes, and the incredible sounds of our DJ. Dress as your favorite superhero and snag the Best Dressed award! This is a welcoming event open to anyone regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. Ticket includes two hours of bowling and HRC membership or renewal. Wave 1 Registration: 12:00 p.m. | Bowling: 12:30 – 2:30 p.m. Wave 2 Registration: 2:30 p.m. | Bowling: 3:00 – 5:00 p.m. Tickets: $25 Individual | $150 Team of 6 | $150 Lane Sponsor | $250 Lane Sponsor w/ Team of 6 We are proud to host Books for Keeps | www.booksforkeeps.org Imagine summer without a book to read. Please consider bringing gently used books to donate, so local kids have access to books during the summer. Receive a special gift from HRC to show our appreciation.
G Appearances
G O LIATH
‘MISSION’ POSSIBLE AID Atlanta is defining its future, and bright. During the Mission 2020 event on January 21 at Park Tavern, the organization treated guests to cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, and its new three-year strategy, Haven of Hope. Keep an eye on your social feeds for the #mission2020 hashtag as they launch and execute the plan to end the HIV/AIDS epidemic by the year 2020. Visit aidatlanta.org.
Photos by Dan Lax 40 FEBRUARY 2016 • V2 I1
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G Appearances
G O LIATH
YOU BETTER BRUNCH You may recall Respect the Brunch in its inaugural form a few years ago. Honoring the great gay tradition that is the midday weekend meal, the event is back and better than ever. The relaunch descended on Zocalo January 23 with its ongoing mission to raise funds for Lost N Found Youth. To that end, drink specials and raffle items kept things lively, and a portion of every meal went to the cause. The charity arm of Salesforce matched the donations dollar for dollar. Visit lnfy.org
Photos by Russ Youngblood
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G Appearances
G O LIATH
ARTFUL ‘AFFAIR’ TO REMEMBER If hundreds of gay men are cocktailing, an artist is creating new work live, and Jerusalem House is on the lips of a crowd at Atlanta Decorative Arts Center, it must be An Affair of the Art. The annual fundraiser went off without a hitch on January 23 with its signature art auction of works created on site and by Jerusalem House residents. Funds raised benefit the organization’s ongoing mission to provide housing and other assistance to people living with HIV/AIDS. Visit jerusalemhouse.org
Photos by Russ Youngblood
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G CONTRIBUTOR
G O LIATH
WELL HELLO.
IT’S DEVEN GREEN DEVEN GREEN is an award-winning comedy performer. You know her from the “Welcome To My Home” parodies, as the satirical Betty Bowers – America’s Best Christian, OCCmakeup ads, “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” World of Wonder, and performing her live music shows in brothels across America. DevenGreen.com Dear Deven: Would it be rude if I was intimate with my boyfriend in public for his Valentine’s Day present? “Randy in Roswell” It would be rude if I was intimate with him! Talk dirty in public, and take it out on each other when you get home. Dear Deven: I want to throw an anti-Valentine’s Day party with all my other friends who are alone to fight society’s expectations of couplings and devalue this made up corporate holiday. “Heartless (ironically) in the Heartland” Thank you for the run-on sentence. Society never asked you to buy a card, and there is no punishment if you don’t. The real issue is your anger against couples. Have a “singles” party for you, not against them. Dear Deven: My relationship is almost over. Is it wrong to break up on Valentine’s Day? “Heart of Stone Mountain” Do it privately so you don’t ruin the day for others. Or, conversely, do it publicly so everyone is thankful they are with someone kind. Is there any perfect time to break up? No, just more appropriate times. Dear Deven: Do you love me? “Muddled in Midtown” Can you receive love? If so, then it is there for you to embrace. It’s easy to love someone. The trick is to truly like them. Dear Deven: We would like to invite someone else into our relationship. How do we do that? “Werking it in Winder” With words and cash, my dear! I love that you two are on the same page. Pick the third person from outside your circle of friends. Limit any social contact so (s)he doesn’t emotionally come between you two. Keep it recreational, fun and safe. Dear Deven: I’m in a long-term relationship, and I have run out of Valentine gift ideas. Do you have any? “Idea-free in Inman Park” Propose. Dear Deven: We want to get married next year on Valentine’s Day. Both of our families will be there. How can we acknowledge them best? -- “Happy in Hapeville” I am an Officiant / Celebrant, and will share with you what I say about parents in the ceremonies I perform: “Most parents have one simple agenda when their children are born, and that is they want them to be happy.” I then ask both gentlemen if they are happy – They respond in the affirmative. – Then I say, “Your parents have won. They have successfully raised two smart, creative, articulate, happy men.” Dear Readers, I send you hearts because I care about each and every one of you. You, in return, will send me your questions: DevenGreen@gmail.com Photo: ReedDavisPhotography.com
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PS: Would you like me to read this to you? Go to GoliathAtlanta.com and listen!