A Most Extraordinary Year

by Lori Burns

Most of the news we experienced in 2020 was riddled with just plain rotten information. Story after story about the global pandemic, a fractured economy, a divisive election, George Floyd’s death, racial tensions, wildfires, even murdering hornets. Who can dispute that 2020 had more than its share of never before faced and unwanted challenges?

HOWEVER, it might be worth considering that the pandemic and all the other “stuff” forced some much-needed attention. This attention caused significant changes, innovations, and breakthroughs in how we work, learn, live, and love. Some of the changes will have a permanent, positive impact on many aspects of our daily lives long after the pandemic passes. People worldwide came together with an attitude of “togetherness “to support the most vulnerable areas in their communities. Amidst all of the sadness and hardship, one thing that has struck me during the pandemic is how, through grief and suffering, the positive aspects of human nature—kindness and resilience— shine through. We continue to see glimpses of hope in this challenging battle with the virus and all the other craziness that may cloud our everyday lives.

As a new counselor, I have clients that come to me with anxiety, depression, and grief over the loss of jobs, COVID-related issues, and life in general. Many are now forced to sit still and pay attention to things that they otherwise may have ignored. Coping strategies have become obsolete as everyday routines have changed; new habits have been adopted that may exacerbate the stress or sadness they might feel. To get by, self -care has become “self-cure,” meaning the idea of pampering oneself has been redefined. 2020’s self-care has a completely different face.

Self-care used to be a therapeutic spa experience complete with wine and candles or yoga with a breathing app. But applying a face mask or taking a bubble bath pale compared to the real work we had to do to keep ourselves physically, emotionally, and mentally well in 2020. And looking forward, too.

It means putting boundaries and limits on your behavior as a parent would.

This may look like eliminating interactions with a racist relative, for example, or making hard decisions about some people in your life. That may be turning off your computer at the end of the workday, even if you think you have more you can do. It’s also important to note that self-care is not toxic positivity, which defined means avoiding what you’re feeling for the sake of being positive. Acknowledging your feelings is now a vital, critical component of self-care — even if it’s unpleasant. “If you don’t reveal it, you can’t heal it.”

Diet Soda raises heart attack risk IF you drink one or more diet sodas a day, your chances of having a heart attack are 43% higher than those who drink regular soda, or none at all.

- Ascension Southeast Michigan Community Health

A FEW SELF-CARE TIPS:

Identifying and acknowledging your feelings.

You can’t begin to take care of yourself until you accept where you’re at. You can start by writing down the different feelings you’re having. Once you identify and acknowledge your feelings, you can start figuring out what to do with them.

Limiting your social media and news consumption.

Part of self-care is acknowledging your personal limits. If you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or sick to your stomach after reading the news, limit what, when, and how much information you take in. Even if that means deleting an app or turning off the TV.

Recognizing when your emotions need extra attention.

Conditions like stress, anxiety, and grief can all manifest in your body. That’s why it’s essential to take note of how your body and brain are functioning. Suppose you lack motivation, have feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, experience obsessive worry or fear of leaving your home. In that case, it could be beneficial to talk to someone.

Finding Joy where you can.

Joy is not the same thing as Happiness. Happiness comes from people, places, things, and events, but Joy is an “inside job”. Happiness says ‘because of,’ Joy says, ‘in spite of’.