Heart’s Desires

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Heart’s Desires

by April Engstrom

What do storms and love have to do with one another, and how is God involved? It seems like the month of February is full of both. This is my story of how, in the middle of the storms of life, God fulfilled the desires of my heart.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4, ESV).

We all long to have our prayers answered, for our lives to bring good things, and to be blessed. We cling to the promises of the Bible as to a lifeline holding us up when the waters get treacherous and the storms of life threaten us. They are promises of hope, promises that yes, our God cares about the little things our hearts long after.

Through life, the longing of our hearts ebb and flow to fit where we are. This is such a deep part of the blessing of this verse that can be missed. It’s not that God isn’t fulfilling them, but He often uses where we are in life to show us what His heart desires for us in that season.

When I was young, my number one heart desire was for a husband. I prayed, begged, and pleaded with God all through my teens for Him to show me my husband. Then at sixteen, it suddenly felt like it would be impossible. Have you ever faced a storm so big that it felt like all your dreams were fading before your eyes and the desire of your heart was slipping away? Of course, you have, we all have. That’s the hard thing about faith, we have to keep clinging to promises even when we can’t see a way out.

At sixteen, this storm for me was the sudden onset of extreme full-body nerve pain—what would later be diagnosed as fibromyalgia. Life stopped. And then, in the pain-stricken dark nights, it started again. I had to refind my identity. All of a sudden, health was even more important than a future spouse and children. How would those even be possible when I was looking at a life sentence of chronic pain? 24 // February 2022

But God did not forget His promise, and He remembers those promises He made to you too. That’s the beautiful thing about the Bible, its promises are there for each and every one of us. When we take the time to delight in the Lord, when He becomes our first love, and when we draw near to Him with our whole heart, He is faithful!

My story didn’t end there, and it still continues. In the midst of the pain, God brought me a husband who was willing to take on my life sentence and the limitations it brought. God gave me seven beautiful years of full healing and remission, during which time we traveled the world for Jesus and had two beautiful boys. He conquered pain and suffering brought us life.

I pray as you go through this year that you will find as you cling to God our Father, and delight yourself in Him, that He will fulfill your life and you will see how He has given you the desires of your heart.

About The Author April Engstrom resides in Bradley County with her husband and two boys. She loves her family at the Church at Grace Point and exploring God’s creation.