Cold Case Counseling

by Glyndora Condon

Counselors have a most difficult job as they meet each new client and listen to their stories. It is often similar to a detective who is attempting to find truth without any prior knowledge of the victim(s). They take the statements, inquire as to the onset, duration, frequency, and intensity, and create a timeline of events. When the counselor is assisting an individual, then the counselor basically only has what that one person is revealing and understands that the truth is often buried underneath layers of defenses, distortions, and pain.

When there is a conflict between two or more, then this complicates the alreadycomplicated process. As with a crime scene, counselors seek validity and reliability; yet, unlike detectives, counselors must work to keep an empathetic and respectful environment as they question each client, with the intent to educate and aid in the discernment, so that their clients can comprehend how to do this process and arrive at truth themselves.

First, the counselors must help their clients to understand that they do not know it all. Often clients have gotten stuck in the use of many thought distortions and believe their own version of the situation is the only true one. Some jump to conclusions based upon their own personality, understanding, experiences, and beliefs, which completely denies and voids any other’s. This is when we teach them to seek evidence that supports their beliefs and also evidence that does not support it. We teach them how to think circumstantially: Who was there? Where did it occur? What happened from all perspectives? How? Having a quantity of circumstances is important.

We then listen to all of the eyewitnesses and compare stories to find congruency and to find discrepancies. Yet we have to remember that some witnesses lie, and some are biased; each comes from a different perspective, each has their own personal story, each has differing communication styles, and also, we must know if they are global vs. analytical, as well as if they are visual, audial, or kinesthetic learners. In addition, there will be differences in how a male brain and female brain processes information. Each of these helps us to discern if there is agreement within the conflict as to the issues. We listen for motive and we see if these same issues occur outside the relationship. We

also understand that not all memories are equal and that time erodes and skews memories. Therefore, we must understand what is important to each party and why. Last, we allow for human error, since we know that all humans are fallible, including ourselves.

It is our intent to encourage clients to forgive, apply grace through Christ, and to seek the positives as each begins to make deposits into their mate’s, child’s, or other’s heart as we work to increase unity and love.

“Your REALTOR til the Rapture!” ®

OPEN HOUSE

DAILY! 2PM - 4PM

NEW COTTAGE CONDOS. Features include wood floors, granite counter tops, 42'' upper cabinets, 9'+ tray ceilings, stainless steel appliances, oil rubbed bronze or brushed nickel finishes, 1 story, over-sized insulated remote controlled garage doors, double driveways, Hardie board exterior, landscape package, ADA amenities, with custom exterior mill-work. A total of 17 units and easy maintenance. Centrally located in North Cleveland, Tennessee, surrounded by shopping and restaurants. With easy access and convenience. Call now to BUY your Cottage Condo. #20196214. $159,900. NEW COTTAGE CONDOS. Features include wood floors, granite counter tops, 42'' upper cabinets, 9'+ tray ceilings, stainless steel appliances, oil rubbed bronze or brushed nickel finishes, 1 story, over-sized insulated remote controlled garage doors, double driveways, Hardie board exterior, ADA amenities, with custom exterior mill-work. A total of 17 units and easy maintenance. Centrally located in North Cleveland, Tennessee, surrounded by shopping and restaurants. With easy access and convenience. Call now to BUY your Cottage Condo. #20196214. $162,500. 4470 Keith Street, Cleveland, Tennessee. Located across from Walmart, behind Tire Discounters.

EXCELLENT HOME in an excellent area located in NE Bradley County Cleveland TN . Featuring wood floors, high ceilings, master bedroom suite on the main level, the guest bedrooms and bonus room is upstairs! There is a “sewing room” off the third bedroom upstairs. Side load double garage, rear deck and plenty of yard to play! $298,000. MLS #20196721.

THIS WONDERFUL BRICK HOME features hardwood floors, granite counters in the kitchen, master bedroom on the main level, family room, and formal dining area! Large walk in closets in all bedrooms, solid wood pine interior doors throughout, motion sensor flood lights on all 4 corners of the house. Fully finished basement with great room, exercise room, office, 1/2 bath, and extra storage. New HVAC units in 2017, of which lowered the Sellers electric bill by 40%. New Water Heater in 2014 and a new Roof in 2012. #20195639. $359,900.

ENJOY THIS HOME IN NORTH CLEVELAND TENNESSEE with easy access to I-75 at exit 27 located just north of restaurants and shopping. This lovely and extremely clean 3 bedroom home with split floor plan and cathedral ceiling features a custom kitchen with appliances, spacious rooms and a deck overlooking the fenced backyard. $225,000. MLS #20196950.

7.42 ACRES WITH A 3 BEDROOM HOME, wrap around porches, built in 1907 with barn and workshop! Needs some renovations but it's a great opportunity. Creek on one side and a branch on another, nice and rolling. $88,000. MLS #20191491.

LOCATED NORTH OF CHATTANOOGA. 3 Bedroom Country Home built in 2009 with over 1700 sf of living area and an open kitchen area. Spacious rooms throughout the home including family room. Level cleared lot with lots of room to play or garden. Priced reduced to $139,900. call now for an appointment to see this home. $139,900. MLS #20183137.

NEW HOME under construction in beautiful Grove Park located in NE Cleveland with many upgrades and custom home features in this one level home. 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths, approx. 2400 sq.ft., finished bonus room, $359,900. #20195016.