Kids Matters
If
bedtime is a battlefield, take heart,
And this is why our children test us. They
you’re not alone. But just because
want to feel safe. They want that belt to
it happens to all parents at some
hold. That happens when the rules are
point, it really doesn’t have to be that
still the rules and the expectations stay
hard every single night. Let’s look at why
the same, even when these are tested.
it happens and what you can do about it.
Hold firm and watch them settle down at
Why do they test us so? If bedtime with your child has turned into to a bit of a battle that lasts for an hour or so, chances are you’re being tested. This testing often starts in toddlerhood, but it can continue well into school age, if you let it. And playing bedtime battlefield is just too hard when you are also tired.
bedtime. As a parent, you are the safety belt on your child’s rollercoaster life. Is that enough to stop all the bedtime battles? Maybe. Or maybe not. Humans are complex creatures. Your child also loves your attention. Power and attention. It’s no secret that all children crave power
Rest assured, testing is a normal part
and attention – and bedtime is their chance
of being a child. This is how your little
to receive it from you; especially if they
one, or not so little one, finds out where
haven’t seen you sufficiently during the
the boundaries are and knows what is
day. Any attention is attention, so if their
expected of him or her. So, test you they
frequent requests for water, or a toilet trip
will. But that doesn’t mean that you have
or they’re hot, or cold, or there’s a spider,
to pander to every whim they have. Even
or a shadow, or a monster, or they forgot
if it initially seems that way.
to pat the cat – or heaven forbid, lost their
It really is a rollercoaster ride! I often use the analogy of a rollercoaster to explain the testing children display in toddlerhood, or when they’re anxious, or in the teen years. When you get on a rollercoaster there is a safety belt - and
cuddly… the list is endless. If any of that behaviour gains your attention – then that behaviour will continue. Simply because you’ve given it attention – it becomes a fun game. But what can you do about it? Beating the bedtime battlefield.
most of us test this safety belt before the
While you may not be able to stop all the
rollercoaster starts. We’re not testing the
testing, chances are you will be asked for
belt in the hope it will move or break – we’re
‘one more book’, or ‘one more cuddle’ –
testing it in the hope that it stays secure.
you can ensure it blows over very quickly
46 | GREAT HEALTH GUIDE
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