Great Health Guide: July 2017

July 2017

years old

do you

think

Create MINDSET • NUTRITION • FITNESS • KIDS • GREAT HEALTH • RELATIONSHIPS • & MUCH MORE

Contents Great health

NUTRITION

THE HIGH RISK OF B12 DEFICIENCY

SUPPLEMENTS & HEALTH

What do vegans, obese people & alcoholics have in common?

What you should consider before taking supplements

.....Dr Helena Popovic................. 11

.....Emma Tippett.........................22

EXERCISES FOR THE 50+ AGE GROUP

FITNESS

Discussing the benefits of staying fit & active as we age .....Margarita Gurevich.................14

HOW WE PERCEIVE STRESS PART 1

HELP YOURSELF THROUGH BACK PAIN

Keys to managing lower back pain .....Kusal Goonewardena.............26

Change your perception of stress so you can let it go

POSITIVE APPROACH TO EXERCISE

.....Dr Suzanne Henwood.............18

.....Kat Millar................................30

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Success tips to create the exercise habit

How to remain healthy while travelling

RELATIONSHIPS

.....Tanya Doherty........................... 34

DATING SUCCESS MINDSET

MINDSET

.....Melanie Schilling...................... 51

TRAVELLING: STAY FIT & HEALTHY

HAPPINESS: A WELL-ADJUSTED LIFE PART 2

Happiness is a by-product, your reward for good living .....Ruane J. Lipkie.......................... 39

DECLUTTER: MAKING KIDS CONFIDENT

Decluttering impacts kids confidence, emotional intelligence & resilience

How thoughts influence feelings & behaviour

TO CREATE A GREAT LIFE

New thoughts about overcoming fear & living a full life .....Dr Matthew Anderson.............. 54

KIDZ MATTERS WHEN KIDS PLAY TOO ROUGH

.....Dr Ash Nayate........................... 42

Discover three reasons why children play roughly

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

.....Deb Hopper.............................. 58

What causes you to view yourself in a certain way? .....Susie Flashman-Jarvis............... 46

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EDITOR’S NOTE Dear Friends As we venture into the second half of 2017, I hope you are finding opportunities to positively impact other people in your world. That may sound difficult but honestly it can be as simple as a random act of kindness; it may be small for us but can be very significant for them. So practically speaking what could this involve? It could be a matter of cooking a meal for a friend who is unwell, or offering to babysit the children of a young married couple. It could be as simple as offering to buy a few things at the shops to save them time. These are a few examples of the limitless ways that you could make a difference in your world. Of course, on a larger scale you may have the conviction to bring change in society where there is currently injustice.

Whether it be a small or large act, your life matters and has so much purpose particularly when a difference is made in the lives of others.

In making a difference, I would like to highlight several articles in this month’s issue of Great Health GuideTM. These articles offer the reader with positive and refreshing perspectives discussing, ‘How We Perceive Stress’, ’To Create a Great Life’ & ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ Lastly, the team is currently in the final stages of completing the eBook entitled Happy, Healthy You. This is the final eBook in the six-book Health Specialists’ Series and highlights many important topics that relate to healthy living. We’ll keep in touch and let you know when the final eBook is available on Amazon.

Please enjoy Kath xx

TEAM GHG FOUNDER + EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Kathryn Dodd DEPUTY EDITORS Dr Helen Dodd Dr William Dodd ADMINISTRATION Mochamad Firmansyah Weng Yee Leong Tiana Tischler

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Dr Matthew Anderson Tanya Doherty Susie Flashman-Jarvis Kusal Goonewardena Margarita Gurevich Dr Suzanne Henwood Deb Hopper Ruane Lipkie Kat Millar Dr Ash Nayate

Dr Helena Popovic Melanie Schilling Emma Tippett DESIGNERS Olha Blagodir Chelsea Bradford Belinda Nelson Oleksandra Zuieva CONNECT WITH US:

© Antalya Developments Pty Ltd 2017 Any information made available in the Great Health Guide Magazine (electronic or hard copy formats), or from Antalya Developments Pty Limited or Kathryn Dodd, including by way of third party authored articles or discussions, is made available for readers’ interest only. The purpose of making the information available is to stimulate research, public discussion and debate. Readers are encouraged to undertake their own research and consult with professional advisors to form their own independent views about the topic/s discussed. The information made available in the Great Health Guide Magazine (electronic or hard copy formats) is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Readers should seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions regarding a potential or actual medical condition or the proposed use or decision not to use any particular product. Readers should not disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it at any time, including because of the content of any information made available in the Great Health Guide Magazine (electronic or hard copy formats). Each of Antalya Developments Pty Ltd and Kathryn Dodd do not warrant, guarantee or make any representation regarding the accuracy, veracity, adequacy, reliability, completeness or timeliness of any information available on, or arising in relation to, the Great Health Guide Magazine (electronic or hard copy formats). Neither Antalya Developments Pty Limited nor Kathryn Dodd endorses the views of any contributing authors to the Great Health Guide Magazine (electronic or hard copy formats).

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GUIDE

ARTICLE INDEX ...........................................

Expert Health Articles

> CLICK HERE

GHG eBooks ... Available Now N ZO A M A

Be st -s el lin g

#1

eB oo k

HAPPY, HEALTHY KIDS VOL 1 From ‘The Health Specialists’ Series’

Get your copy today at Amazon.com.au or Amazon.com

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From ‘The Health Specialists’ Series’

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HAPPY, HEALTHY NUTRITION VOL 2

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eBook

The

Health

Specialists’ Series vol 2

Happy, Healthy

Featuring Dr Helena Popovic Amazon #1 Best-selling author

Nutrition rt 1 Pa

ANTI-AGEING FOODS • EMOTIONAL EATING • FOOD FOR FERTILITY • FRUCTOSE: THE NEW BOOZE • & MUCH MORE

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HAPPY, HEALTHY INTIMACY VOL 3 From ‘The Health Specialists’ Series’

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HAPPY, HEALTHY FITNESS VOL 4

eB oo k

eBook

The

Health

Specialists’ Series vol4

Happy, Healthy

FEATURING KAT MILLAR, COACH & AWARD-WINNING FIGURE COMPETITOR

Fitness Part 1

SECRETS OF ELITE ATHLETES • EXERCISE FOR BUSY PEOPLE • FITNESS & TRAVEL • STRENGTH TRAINING

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HAPPY, HEALTHY MINDS VOL 5 From ‘The Health Specialists’ Series’

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G IN M CO N O SO

HAPPY, HEALTHY YOU VOL 6 From ‘The Health Specialists’ Series’

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Designed by Belinda Nelson

great health

B12 Deficiency

The High Risk of Words Dr Helena Popovic

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

W

hat do the following five groups of

breakfast cereals. If buying fortified foods,

people have in common?

read labels to avoid added sugar. Cheeses

• consuming a purely vegan whole food diet • having gastric bypass surgery (e.g. for the treatment of obesity) • being over the age of 50 • taking antacids to treat stomach ulcers, hiatus hernia, indigestion • suffering from alcohol dependency.

contain varying amounts of B12 with Swiss, Mozzarella and Feta being good options (in that order).

3. B12 needs to be released from food before it can be absorbed.

B12 is unique among the B vitamins in that it can be stored in the liver for up to two years. This is good news. All other B vitamins

Essentially, they all contribute to vitamin B12

require consistent daily intake. However,

deficiency and if you said ‘yes’ to more than

B12 absorption requires adequate amounts

one of the above, you have a VERY HIGH risk

of two substances that tend to decline with

of being B12 deficient.

age: stomach acid and ‘intrinsic factor’ (IF).

Why is vitamin B12 so important?

1. Vitamin B12 is found naturally only in animal foods.

It is found particularly in fish (especially shellfish), crab, caviar, dairy, liver, meat and poultry. Animals store B12 in their liver and muscles and may pass varying amounts into their eggs and milk. Duck eggs provide 10 times more B12 than chicken eggs. Goose eggs provide 20 times more B12 than chicken eggs ( just in case you have access to them). Faeces is also a rich source of B12 hence rabbits, dogs and cats sometimes eat faeces. But let’s not go there.

2. Vegans need synthetic B12 in fortified foods or supplements.

Sources of B12 for vegetarians include milk,

Intrinsic factor is secreted by parietal cells in the stomach and it ‘unlocks’ B12 from food. In other words, B12 needs to be released from food before we can absorb it.

As we age, the stomach tends to produce less acid and less intrinsic factor, thus reducing our absorption of B12 even if we appear to be eating adequate amounts.

Thirty percent of people over the age of 50 have reduced absorption of B12. Excessive alcohol consumption leads to inflammation and

disruption

of

the

stomach

lining

impairing our ability to absorb B12. Similarly, gastric bypass surgery decreases stomach volume and along with it, stomach acid and IF. Hence the five groups listed at the start are at risk of B12 deficiency. However, synthetic B12 is already in free form & doesn’t require stomach acid for absorption.

cheese, yoghurt, eggs, some yeast extracts

What is the recommended daily dose of

and fortified products like tofu, soy and

B12?

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GHG Disclaimer – please read

serving of fish (salmon, mackerel, tuna, trout, etc.) provides adequate daily needs. If you eat a diet that includes a selection of the above-mentioned B12-containing foods, you will be consuming sufficient amounts.

........................

About 2.4 micrograms (mcg) per day. One

best-selling author. Helena runs weight management retreats based on living not dieting, and is the author of the awardwinning book ‘NeuroSlimming – let your brain change your body’. For more information, refer to Helena’s website.

You will need more than 2.4 mcg if you are

.

pregnant or breastfeeding (2.7 mcg) or have

Editor’s

an under-active thyroid, drink a lot of alcohol, take antacids, have had stomach surgery or are over age 50. Certain medical conditions such as coeliac or Crohn’s disease can make it very difficult to absorb B12 from food. In these instances, you will need to take supplements on a regular basis. There is no official upper limit of B12 intake because you will get rid of any excess in your urine.

will discuss the essential role that B12 plays in proper functioning of the brain and nervous system, in the formation of red blood cells and in metabolism of carbohydrates, proteins and fats.

Dr Helena Popovic is a medical doctor, authority

on

how

to

improve

brain function, international speaker and GHG Disclaimer – please read

NEUROSLIMMING

by Dr Helena Popovic

• Sets you free from dieting • A Mind Plan not a meal plan

In the next issue of Great Health GuideTM, I

leading

Choice

• Let your brain change your body • The missing piece in weight loss It’s not what you eat, it’s why and how.

Paperback Published 2015

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Exercises for the

+

50 Group

AGE

Words Margarita Gurevich

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

T

ime and time again, it has been shown

commencing any new physical activity to

that exercise is very important for us

consult your doctor or physiotherapist to

regardless of our age and health

make sure that you have no contraindications.

status. However, as physiotherapists we often

Once you have their guidance the next step

see that as people get older their exercise

is to determine which type of exercise is best.

levels drop. This can be due to a number of

This will depend on a number of factors,

factors including development of aches and

including the following:

pains, decreasing mobility and a general lack of desire to spend time exercising.

• the health of the individual, particularly the

Unfortunately, this creates a vicious cycle

conditions of the cardiorespiratory system

where reduced time doing exercise leads to worsening health and more pain which then makes it even harder to

exercise…and

so

the

• their exercise history • their health and fitness goals • current state of their

cycle continues. To prevent

musculoskeletal

this, it’s therefore extremely

system, including

important to stay active and

muscle strength and

fit as we age. Even for those

flexibility

individuals who have never been very active in their younger years, it’s important to start doing appropriate types of exercise.

IT’S EXTREMELY

• their balance.

Exercise

is

equally

important for both men and women as both are prone to the development of various ailments with age, including

IMPORTANT TO STAY ACTIVE & FIT AS WE AGE.

arthritis, osteoporosis, urinary incontinence

So, what type of exercise is safe and effective?

In fact, a study published in the Osteoporosis

There are many types of exercises which are

International Journal (2016) concluded that

beneficial, however please remember before

‘progressive high-impact exercise is a feasible

GHG Disclaimer – please read

and falls due to worsening balance, just to name a few. Women in particular, especially after menopause, face the added issue of their bones losing essential minerals such as calcium, making them more brittle and more likely to fracture. One of the best types of prevention and management of osteoporosis is exercise.

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HYDROTHERAPY IS VERY HELPFUL FOR PEOPLE WITH LIMITED ABILITY TO CARRY OUT EXERCISES ON LAND DUE TO PAIN. in postmenopausal women’.

It has been proven that the most beneficial type of exercise to prevent and manage osteoporosis is weight-bearing exercise, i.e. exercise which is performed on land rather than in the water. Exercises are very beneficial 16 | SUBSCRIBE to GHG

...........................

method in seeking to prevent hip fractures

when conducted outdoors, under the sun at safe day times. One good option is walking, which can be made harder by holding weights.

Exercise classes and clinical pilates sessions conducted by trained health professionals are also very effective options. Besides this, it’s also important to do regular home exercises.

GHG Disclaimer – please read

MANAGEMENT OF

....................................................

EXERCISE IS ONE OF THE BEST TYPES OF PREVENTION &

OSTEOPOROSIS. For

other

conditions,

including

are recommended. Hydrotherapy (waterbased exercise) can also be very helpful, particularly for those individuals who have limited ability to carry out exercises on land due to pain, e.g. caused by arthritis. In the water due to buoyancy, the spine and joints are unloaded which makes it easier to exercise. Warm water is another therapeutic helping

to

improve

peripheral

blood circulation, promoting release of endorphins, relieving stress and improving relaxation and providing other benefits.

Your physiotherapist is one of the best points of contact in providing you with the

optimal

exercise

program.

taking into account the general health, fitness level and fitness goals.

Margarita Gurevich is Senior Physiotherapist and uses Clinical Pilates, SCENAR Therapy &

other

including

evidence-based Real

Time

techniques,

Ultrasound

and

McKenzie Treatment. Margarita specialises in sports injuries, women’s health (including incontinence) and gastrointestinal issues.

Margarita

may

be

contacted

via

her

website.

those

mentioned above, the same types of exercise

factor

able to recommend the best type of exercise,

During

the initial physiotherapy consultation, the physiotherapist will conduct a thorough full

Editor’s

Choice

THE END OF PAIN

by Dr Jacqueline Lagace

The Modern Western diet is linked to Chronic Inflammatory Disease.

How Nutrition & Diet can Fight Chronic Inflammatory Disease.

• Use nutritional therapy/diet for relief.

• D o not consume wheat, dairy products.

• D o not cook meat at high temperatures.

• Keep a balance of good intestinal flora.

body diagnostic assessment which will help to

• Prevent growth of pathogenic bacteria in the gut.

diagnose the cause of any symptoms as well

Paperback Published 2015

as identify areas of strength and weakness.

Following that the physiotherapist will be GHG Disclaimer – please read

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How We

Pstress

Part1

erceive Words Dr Suzanne Henwood

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

of

adults

reported

experiencing

moderate to high levels of stress in

the past month and nearly half reported that their stress has increased in the past year. Here is the data from the American Psychological Association.

If you were honest with yourself, are you someone who experiences stress? You may be reluctant to admit it, especially at work, or you may not want to admit it to yourself.

But the statistics show that it is more normal to feel stress these days than to not feel stressed.

CHANGE YOUR

PERCEPTION OF STRESS SO YOU CAN

LET IT GO. What is fascinating is the new thinking around stress – backed up by research – that in fact stress is not the real problem. It is our perception of stress which really has a negative impact on us. What if you could completely change your response, in the moment, without having to change anything around you? Kelly McGonigal in her book, GHG Disclaimer – please read

.........................................................................................................................................................

D

id you know it is claimed that 75%

The Upside of Stress: Why Stress is Good for You and How to Get Good at it, talks of stress that is either challenging, or threatening. I prefer the words resourceful or not resourceful – helpful or not helpful.

You have the choice of the two words you use to describe the stress that is either causing you a problem and taking away your peace of mind or alternatively stress which is more positive, offering you the challenge, drive, and resourcefulness. Choose the word that will help you to be the high achiever you are, without having to change where you are.

For a moment reflect on how you think about stress. What words do you use and how do you perceive stress? This is what we call ‘above the line’, resourceful thinking. We know that thinking is one of the most powerful activities we can do; it can change our perception on anything and can physically change the body at a cellular and DNA level.

To make a change in our thinking, we first must be aware of what we are thinking. It is claimed that 95% of our day is outside of our conscious awareness, that is why mindfulness is so powerful – it brings things to our attention, into the here and now.

So, let’s do that for a moment right now. Stop whatever you are doing and breathe deeply with a long even breath in and out. Become aware of the movement of air into and out of your body. As you quieten your body down, place your attention up to your head and be aware of what it is you are thinking (in this case about stress). Now think beyond that.

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THINKING CAN CHANGE OUR PERCEPTION

ON ANYTHING.

What meaning do you place on what you are thinking about stress? This is the basis of mindfulness and is bringing to your awareness your current thinking around stress. This is the first step to making a change. It is that simple.

In the next article, I will share with you a

Editor’s

Choice

THE UPSIDE OF STRESS

simple four step process for changing your perception of stress, which can then change your experience of it. The process is all about you rewriting your own script to make stress release its hold on you, moving from your awareness of stress thinking and meaning, to redrafting a new way to think about stress. This will change the meaning you place on stress.

Dr Suzanne Henwood is an Associate Professor in Health and Social Sciences. She is also a Master Trainer of mBIT (Multiple Brain Integration Techniques) and can be contacted via her website.

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by Kelly McGonigal

Why Stress is Good for You, and How to Get Good at it.

Rethink stress: • to improve your health & resilience • to focus your energy • to build relationships & boost courage • and watch your life change for the better.

Paperback Published 2015

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NUTRITION

S & Health

upplements Words Emma Tippett

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

T

here is so much information available

something lacking within our diet and we

nowadays regarding the benefits

are not supplying our body with enough of

of different vitamin and herbal

a certain nutrient. Other factors to consider

supplements and how we can use these

are the possibility that an underlying health

‘natural’ medicines to improve our health.

condition needs to be addressed or perhaps

You can type any health condition into the

certain lifestyle factors such as alcohol

search engine and then act as your own

consumption or smoking are contributing to

healthcare practitioner and develop a

nutrient depletion. Increased stress can also

treatment plan based on what you read.

deplete our nutrient stores.

But can you always trust the information obtained? Can you be certain that your understanding of what is going on in your body is accurate?

SUPPLEMENT IS SOMETHING

ADDED,

TO COMPLETE OR STRENGTHEN A WHOLE. Some food for thought on the use of supplements.

1. What does the word ‘supplement’ mean?

When we are looking at a nutrient deficiency picture, it makes sense to consider the short-term use of a supplement to correct the problem. But why does the deficiency occur in the first place? Ultimately, there is GHG Disclaimer – please read

What’s the long-term solution? When we choose to nourish our bodies with good quality wholefoods, it is possible to get all the nutrition needed to support good health.

To do this we need to be equipped with the knowledge of how we need to eat to obtain the correct nutrition. Food is a complex source of vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals that work in synergy. This means that the bioavailability of nutrients is higher within a wholefood and our bodies can absorb more as a result.

Did you know that there is nearly 100 mg of vitamin C in one orange? Or that in one serving of kale you can obtain up to 150mg of calcium? You can support bone health, nerve and muscle function and your immune system by including these foods in your diet on a regular basis.

2. How do you know when enough is enough?

Just because its ‘natural’ doesn’t mean it’s always safe. Everybody has different requirements for certain nutrients and some vitamins and minerals can be toxic when taken in large does. Too much zinc can result SUBSCRIBE to GHG | 23

JUST BECAUSE ITS ‘NATURAL’ DOESN’T MEAN IT’S ALWAYS SAFE. amounts, can lead to dizziness, immune suppression and changes in heartbeat. It is also possible to interfere in the balance of other nutrients when supplementing in isolation. Too much zinc may interfere with copper absorption and this will affect our iron metabolism. Iron and copper are important in red blood cell formation and a deficiency in these two minerals can lead to anaemia.

Just because its ‘natural’ doesn’t mean it’s always safe.

3. Other issues concerning safety.

These

include

herb/drug

interactions

causing contra-indications of medications with certain ingredients within supplements.

The

use

of

some

medications

and

supplements together can either change the therapeutic effects on the body or lead to harmful outcomes. The herb Hypericum (St John’s Wort) is a typical example. This herb cannot be taken with certain antidepressants and can reduce the efficiency of the oral contraceptive pill. It is important to know all the interactions if you take medication and are considering the use of self-medicating with supplements.

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........................................................................................................................

in gastrointestinal upset and in excessive

4. The lack of regulation within the vitamin supplement industry is concerning.

In March 2015, the New York Attorney General revealed that the quality of supplements was highly variable. One study found that 79% of supplements tested did not contain what the labels claimed. Lack of regulations mean that you can’t always be certain of the ingredients listed or those contained that may not be listed. The source of raw materials obtained in production is also not always disclosed.

The ideal situation to consider the use of supplements is under the guidance of a GP or nutritionist. As well as tests, other factors are taken into consideration, such as dietary and lifestyle changes necessary to achieve good health. There is a time and place for the short-term use of supplements but nutrition through food should always be the priority when building the foundations of good health.

Emma Tippett, is a Naturopath with a special interest in hormones and in all areas of digestion believing that gut health is linked to the function of every body system. Emma is based in her practice ‘Empowered Health’ in Surrey Hills, Victoria, Australia and can be contacted via her website.

GHG Disclaimer – please read

FITNESS

Help Yourself

Back pain through

Words Kusal Goonewardena

important to remain active. This may seem counter-intuitive, and

may be difficult. But extensive research has confirmed prolonged periods of bed

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rest worsens lower back pain. If you are in

...................

IF

you are suffering back pain, it’s most

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

pain the best mantra you can enact is ‘little and often’; move a little, as often as you can.

Eventually you can gradually increase your range of movement.

GHG Disclaimer – please read

back pain.

1. Watch

out

for

stress.

A

stressful

environment will worsen your back pain.

It’s natural to worry about how bad your pain is, when it is going to heal and how much it is going to affect your efficiency, but worrying too much will harm you.

2. Deep breathing. Feeling tense only makes things worse, so you need to somehow relax your body during periods of pain. Rhythmic and slow breathing helps calm your mind.

3. Use a heat pad or ice pack. Heat and ice is most effective when relieving pain.

Generally, the rule is that if an injury is hot to the touch, use ice; if it’s cold, use heat. But you may develop a personal preference so be prepared to try one or the other and stick with it for the first few weeks.

4. Consider lumbar supports such as back support, corsets and braces. These might also be helpful in alleviating pain for some people.

5. Follow a home exercise program. I cannot stress enough how important it is to keep active and moving. Once the original pain has passed, a home

...........................................................................................................................

Here are some keys to managing lower

exercise program will help you to progress.

6. Use of pillows. When sleeping, placing a pillow between or under your knees may help your back.

7. Do light stretching exercises several times a day. This will help with the pain and may be continued as a preventative measure. Remember ‘little and often’; move a little as often as possible, within tolerable levels of pain.

What exercises will help?

Often the first place to start is posture – the cause of so much back pain. It’s important that your body is in alignment, otherwise you are working inefficient muscle groups and systems.

But there are some good exercises to consider as well.

Here are my top seven exercises for back pain.

1. Cat and camel stretch. Get down on all fours, with your hands under the shoulders and knees below your hips. First step – let your head down and try to create a slight curve of your back towards the ceiling (like a cat stretching). Hold the position for

YOUR BODY IS DESIGNED TO

MOVE… ‘LITTLE & OFTEN’ TO IMPROVE YOUR RANGE OF MOVEMENT.

trunk as far as you can so that your back is arched, but do not pull it down. Hold again for five seconds.

2. Hamstring stretch. Lie straight on your back with your leg as straight as possible and try to gently pull it up, until you feel a comfortable stretch. Hold for 30 seconds.

Repeat with same side three-to-five times and then repeat with the other leg.

3. Knee to chest. Lie on your back on a table or any firm surface – bend one of your legs forward, holding your hands tightly behind the thigh, while keeping your opposite leg flat. Pull it towards your chest (pain permitting). Hold for 30 seconds. Switch

....................................................................

five seconds. Once done, try and sag your

4. Pelvic tilt. Lie straight on your back, with your feet flat and knees bent. Push the small of your back into the floor by pulling the lower abdominal muscles up and inside. Hold the back flat as you breathe in and out. Hold for five seconds. Repeat.

5. Pelvic lift. Lie on your back, keeping your knees bent and feet flat on the floor. Push down through your feet and slowly lift your bottom up from the floor. Hold for 10 seconds. Return to original position and repeat 10 times. See image below.

legs and then repeat.

6. Piriformis stretch. Lie down on the floor with one foot placed on the lateral aspect of the opposite side knee.

Now, with your arm, gently try to pull the thigh of your bent leg and twist the body.

Hold for 30 seconds. Repeat with the same side for threeto-five times and then repeat with the other leg.

7. Push-up. Lie flat on your stomach, place your hands and palms down, under your shoulders and straighten your arms to raise your body from the floor. Keeping your body straight, lower your upper body, hold for five seconds, then return to normal position and repeat. If push-ups are difficult then bend your knees and push up from your knees rather than your feet.

The exercises should only be attempted within

tolerable

comfort

levels.

Stop

immediately if any exercises cause pain or increase your symptoms. Some exercises will agree with your injury but others will not. After doing them for a period of 24 hours, listen to your body and continue with the most effective.

Stubborn back pain may need professional advice and hands-on treatment. It’s important that any professional you see provides a diagnosis and a plan of action. Expect to see some improvements in three sessions or fewer – if there is no improvement then consider a second opinion.

KEY POINTS. • Regular movement within tolerable pain levels is critical.

GHG Disclaimer – please read

....................................................................................

PLEASE NOTE.

• Follow an exercise program, do stretches and use other supports such as ice and heat.

• If there’s

no

improvement

seek

professional help and don’t be afraid to seek a second opinion.

Kusal Goonewardena is an experienced physiotherapist, lecturer, consultant and mentor to thousands of

physiotherapy

students around the world. Kusal has authored books including: Low Back Pain –

30 Days to Pain Free; 3 Minute Workouts; and co-authored Natural Healing: Quiet

and Calm. Kusal consults via his clinic, Elite Akademy.

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A

Positive

pproach

xercise! What are your feelings when you think about that word? Exercise is something that evokes a mix of

emotions in people. Some people think of the buzz, the endorphins and the feeling

30 | SUBSCRIBE to GHG

Words Kat Millar

....................

E

to Exercise

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

of accomplishment that comes from it.

Others think of exercise and picture a sweaty, painful mess where they would rather be doing anything but that. Is this you?

GHG Disclaimer – please read

USE LANGUAGE TO CREATE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE TO EXERCISE. agree that we all need to exercise. Here are three tips that will help you to create a more positive association with exercise.

Replace disempowering language with empowering language.

Since our feelings are driven by our thoughts, what we think about exercise and what we tell ourselves is vital in creating positive feelings.

Our thoughts create language inside our mind and our language (internal and external) is so powerful when it comes to our emotions.

Using the right language helps increase our motivation to create new habits.

..............................................................

Whether you love or hate it, I think we can

Changing your language is like any skill – it can be learned. We can change our thought habits around our association with exercise.

Best of all, it doesn’t take a lot of time or effort.

By adopting the following simple changes to your language, this can create more positive feelings about exercise.

The following three words are typically associated with a feeling of obligation, pressure and demand. They are: HAVE, NEED and SHOULD. In other words, external motivation which can be very disempowering.

Compare this to internal motivation where exercise can help you fulfill other values and goals – such as looking great, having more

REPLACE

THE WORDS HAVE, NEED & SHOULD WITH

CHOOSE,

WANT & GET. GHG Disclaimer – please read

energy and being more confident.

To increase your desire to exercise, replace the words HAVE, NEED and SHOULD with CHOOSE, WANT and GET. These three words are typically associated with choice, freedom, passion and gratitude. This can give you a better feeling of control and empowerment.

Here’s an example: ‘I have to exercise more’. Well, you don’t have to; you choose to. No one can make you.

Replace this with, ‘I want to/choose to/get to exercise more’.

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Replace this with ‘I want to exercise more’, even if part of you feels like you don’t! You’ll probably feel more empowered and excited about it.

Keep saying the empowering statements to yourself to create the desire. Like social psychologist Amy Cuddy says, ‘Fake it until you become it’.

1. Speak positive statements.

As well as those three words, it helps to speak positive statements – whether out loud or to yourself. Here are some examples: • I am excited about who I’m becoming

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...................................................................

Another example is, ‘I should do some cardio’.

• I feel amazing when I honour my commitments to myself • My body is getting stronger and healthier everyday Pick one or more of these statements that resonate with you, or create your own. The main thing is that you find them exciting and believable.

2. Ensure your senses are aligned to enjoy exercise.

Another powerful way to create a positive association with exercise, is to align your senses to look forward to the ritual of exercise, rather than dread it. To do this, think of how we can better please each of our senses.

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is important in maintaining our enjoyment.

Compare staring at a wall for 45 minutes while sweating away on a cardio machine, to running in nature. Compare working out in a dingy garage to a bright room with large windows.

• Touch. Think about the feel that you like on your skin: a hot room, air conditioning,

....................................

• Sight. What we look at when we exercise

Kat

Millar

owns

Get

Results

Training,

dedicated to helping people transform their health, mind & body. She’s a coach, speaker, award-winning

figure

competitor,

fitness

lecturer & NLP practitioner. Her passion helps people achieve life-changing results & fulfillment, with a range of programs for holistic health & body transformation. Contact via Kat’s website or Facebook.

the sun, a cool breeze? What’s your preference? I know we need to commit to moving despite our environment, but why not make it as pleasant for ourselves as possible?

• Sound. Do you love working out to hardcore or mellow mood music? Do

Editor’s

Choice

you like being around the grunts of other people or do you prefer silence? How about listening to YouTube clips with positive encouragement? What we listen to can make or break our fun-factor.

• Smell. Maybe you could treat yourself to a spray of your favourite perfume every time you’re about to exercise. You could use a certain scent only when you’re about to train, so that merely the smell of it makes you want to get your body moving.

• Taste. How about having your favourite healthy smoothie after your workout every time, for something to look forward to?

I hope that I have given you some fun ideas

TOTAL FITNESS MANUAL

by Gold’s Gym

Transform Your Body in 12 Weeks The 12-Week Challenge.

Every year, Gold’s challenges its members.

• Cardio: training programs & tips • Pumping Iron: know the correct techniques to avoid injury • Nutrition: crucial hydration tips & diet are very important • Recovery: stretch properly, rest, massage & stay injury free Paperback Published 2017

to create more positive associations with exercise. Pick any that resonate with you and apply them today.

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RRP $67.99 Now $41.90 Booktopia may vary prices from those published.

Postage $6.95 per order AUST/NZ

T

ravelling: Stay Fit & Healthy Words Tanya Doherty

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

M

ost

people

commitment

increase to

exercise

their and

healthy eating prior to a holiday

so they feel amazing, but as soon as they get to the airport or start on the road trip, they buy some junk food and if not driving, have a glass of wine. The holiday is filled with beach reads, cocktails and lots of yummy treats.

As soon as you get back to the airport, you vow to go back to your healthy eating and

2. Take an empty water bottle with you.

Fill this up once you get past security and don’t be afraid to ask for it to be filled on the plane or ask where you can refill it yourself.

Hydration is so important, especially when flying. It will also make you feel a lot better once you land.

3. On that note take some herbal teas with you.

exercise plan because you are feeling worse

You can ask for hot water on the plane

then you did before you left. It doesn’t have

and herbal teas are beautifully calming.

to be this way.

Peppermint is great for digestion and chamomile is great for relaxing.

CAN FEEL AMAZING WHILE STILL YOU

INDULGING. Here’s some top tips to keep you feeling amazing whilst still indulging when you’re on your next journey.

BEFORE YOU GO: 1. Prepare some healthy snacks for the plane.

4. Try to avoid alcohol on the plane.

It can be tempting to start your holiday with some drinks, but this is just going to dehydrate you further and will make you feel groggier when you land.

5. Do some research – find some healthy restaurants before you go.

There’s nothing wrong with indulging when you are there, but you need to balance it with your usual healthy meals. It’s so easy to do some research before you go and have some great options at hand.

6. Do some more research – search out a gym or yoga studio that is close to your

If you want extra marks you can prepare

accommodation.

your own meals for the plane. Personally,

Make a commitment to do a certain

this isn’t something I do, but I like to take

number of sessions while you are away,

healthy snacks and tend to stick to the

just as you would at home. It is also a great

veggie option on the plane. Snacks such

opportunity to try something new that you

as rice cakes with nut butter, dates, dark

may not do at home, or don’t have the

chocolate, nuts and seeds are great options.

opportunity to do when at home.

GHG Disclaimer – please read

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7. Prepare a healthy meal and freeze it before you leave home.

If you find that you are tired when you get home and start reaching for the local take away menu, enjoy eating your own prepared meal instead. Much healthier and enjoyable.

Exercise doesn’t have to be limited to a gym, why not hire a bike and find the local walking tracks. Make it fun!

2. Try some meditation.

People find that one of the biggest barriers to meditation is lack of time. A holiday is a great opportunity to experiment with meditation and hopefully once you’ve

HOLIDAYS ARE A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO RELAX.

experienced the benefits, you’ll find time to continue meditation when you get home.

3. Enjoy yourself!

Holidays are a great opportunity to relax, read that book you’ve been meaning to and to indulge in some self-care. Get a massage, have your nails done and do whatever else is going to make you

WHILE YOU ARE THERE: 1. Check out the local farmers’ markets for some great local produce.

Fruit or veggie sticks are

great

options

snack

when

you

are out and about.

If you have access to a kitchen, plan some healthy meals; hopefully you may have more time to experiment

while

happy.

WHEN YOU GET HOME: 1. You should be rested, relaxed and have had a great time.

If

you

the

have

used

opportunity

to

get into a routine with

your

exercise,

meditation or healthy food, keep it going!

Now is not the time to give up.

you are away and

2. Enjoy that meal

cook some of those

you

new meals that you

frozen before your

find interesting.

departure.

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2. Get active in your daily activities.

have

pre-

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it simple, fast and healthy with some steamed greens.

Tanya Doherty is the founder of ‘Beachfit and Well-being’ and a personal trainer with

........................

If not grab some fish or meat and keep

MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) Level 1 Fitness.

Tanya is also a Charles Poliquin Biosignature practitioner and assists both women and men to live in optimum health. Tanya can be contacted via her website or her Facebook page.

mindset

Words Ruane Lipkie

That’s everyone’s goal

regardless of whatever we do in life. Happiness is not a destination,

in fact it is a by-product of effective life adjustment. What this means is that it is wise to accept that life has both ups and downs. It is important to take pleasure in

GHG Disclaimer – please read

...........................

H

appiness.

Part 2

appiness: HA Well-Adjusted Life

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

the good things while being able to learn how to manage the disappointments as you try and find some positive meaning from your challenges. Ultimately, if your life has purpose and you establish desirable goals, then happiness will come to you as you attain these goals.

SUBSCRIBE to GHG | 39

HAPPINESS IS SIMPLY A BY-PRODUCT,

YOUR

REWARD FOR GOOD

LIVING.

Here are three more principles that will empower you to be more positive and happy, when life’s challenges come your way.

1. Do you have unity?

rely solely on one single support network. In a situation where you require support from others outside of that network, this can provide extreme challenges as no other options are available. Conversely, where one network is lost you could have other support networks via many interests and activities.

Remember to not lose your balance by attempting to please everyone.

If you feel

everyone must like and admire you or comment favourably about you, you will end up being unhappy. This is simply an unachievable goal.

3. Can you live with each problem in your life as it arises?

Sometime

people

spend

time

regretting

and regressing i.e. wishing they had another opportunity or another chance. They say, ‘If only I could live my life over again, I wouldn’t make the same mistakes’. This statement is true because a

Unity means that you are not torn between

whole different set of mistakes would be made.

choices, that all your actions lead to the formation

It is easy to worry over the past and the future

of a well-integrated personality and orderly

without even considering the present. Essentially,

thinking. If you choose to do something enjoy

living in the past with regrets serves no purpose.

it. If you feel bad about it or that you shouldn’t

This simply will not change the situation.

take an action, then don’t it. For example, if you decide to eat a piece of chocolate cake then take pleasure in the experience. Don’t spend the whole time saying ‘I shouldn’t be eating this, I will need to diet tomorrow’.

2. Do you have balance?

Balance means that you do not wrap your entire life exclusively around one person or entity. For example, your family, your partner,

A better approach is to live in the present and deal with each challenge as it arises.

How many times have you worried about something that may happen in the future and it never even occurred? A solution: as a problem arises, process a few possible solutions. Perhaps even talk to friends, family or a trained professional to help to work out the best option to move forward.

one friend or your job. When balance is not

As you journey throughout life try to

maintained, this potentially sets you up to

remember this little ditty. It may help you.

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GHG Disclaimer – please read

Ruane J. Lipkie is a psychologist and

offers

psychology

and

counselling advice for a range of

modern

day

challenges

including clinical, developmental, emotional,

educational

and

relationship concerns. Ruane may be contacted via her website.

MAKE YOUR WAY

Editor’s

LIFE,

THE HAPPINESS TRACK

‘AS YOU

THROUGH

WHATEVER

BE YOUR GOAL, KEEP YOUR EYE UPON THE DOUGHNUT

NOT ON THE HOLE.’ AND

Choice

by Dr Emma Seppala

Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success.

• the latest findings in cognitive psychology • neuroscience research on happiness • understand resilience, compassion, creativity & mindfulness • finding happiness & fulfillment increases our productivity

Paperback Published 2016

RRP $31.99 Now $27.75 Booktopia may vary prices from those published.

Postage $6.95 per order AUST/NZ

Declutter: Making Kids Confident Words Dr Ash Nayate

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

are seemingly unrelated, the process of

decluttering

can

profoundly

impact our kids’ confidence, emotional intelligence and resilience. These are abilities that are perhaps some of the most crucial elements of a happy and successful life.

Resilience is the ability to recover from life’s stressors. When life throws us a curveball, it’s our resilience that allows us to manoeuvre around it, cope with it and/or work with it. Thus, we grow and become stronger than we were before. Resilience is a selfperpetuating skill. The stronger we are, the more confident we become and the more likely we are to take on further challenges fuelling further growth.

.........................................................................

A

lthough confidence and decluttering

people seem to be more naturally resilient than others, resilience is a skill that can be learned. Since our daily experiences are teaching opportunities which especially holds true for kids, then the activities we undertake and the lessons learned through them, go a long way in shaping resilience.

So here are three key benefits of decluttering that will assist your children.

1. Decluttering isn’t just organising and tidying up.

Decluttering

involves

a

fundamental

shift in the way we think about ourselves, our possessions and our environment.

Decluttering requires us to make crucial decisions

about

what’s

important. It

requires us to be future-focused and to

THE PROCESS OF DECLUTTERING CAN PROFOUNDLY IMPACT OUR KIDS’ CONFIDENCE, EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE & RESILIENCE. hardly seems relevant to our surroundings.

How could a simple change in our environment actually boost our kids’ confidence?

It turns out that resilience isn’t just something we acquire through sheer luck. While some GHG Disclaimer – please read

.........................

Resilience is a psychological characteristic that

see beyond our immediate gratification. It requires us to think creatively about what we choose to retain. In times of crisis when our resilience is put to the test, it’s precisely these skills upon which we need to draw.

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instead focus on the bigger picture and act accordingly. For example, consider a scenario where a child wishes to be class captain, but is nervous about speaking in public. The knee-jerk reaction is to avoid the fear of public speaking and to avoid giving a speech or perhaps to withdraw from candidacy altogether. However in the bigger picture, this child may have a strong desire to contribute to the classroom with superior leadership. The temporary discomfort of public speaking is well worth the long-term satisfaction of class captaincy and working through the discomfort is what helps boost resilience and confidence.

When we help our kids declutter, we teach them to look at their possessions in new ways. Instead of simply striving to acquire and hoard, we show them how to view belongings with a more critical eye. Are 44 | SUBSCRIBE to GHG

.........................................................................................

our immediate knee-jerk reaction and to

their belongings still serving a vital function in their life? If so, what is that function and is this conducive to the ‘bigger picture’ of their goals and aspirations? If not, then how might this item be better utilised? Perhaps by selling, donating, or re-purposing it.

To change perspective on possessions – or on anything – requires flexibility of thought, which is a key ingredient in resilience and confidence. The more flexible our kids are in their thinking, the easier it is for them to shift their focus from immediate gratification to long term fulfilment.

2. Decluttering also forces us to make tough decisions about our environment.

These decisions can include letting go of items that perhaps have sentimental value but which are not adding something positive to our lives. These days, it’s too easy to hold onto things – even those GHG Disclaimer – please read

FLEXIBILITY OF THOUGHT IS A KEY INGREDIENT IN RESILIENCE & CONFIDENCE. our lives – out of habit or fear. And yes, this even includes toxic or negative relationships. Decluttering teaches our kids that memories are not held within our sentimental items and that it’s possible to hold onto a memory without having to hold

............................

that add no value or even detract from

Dr Ash Nayate is a clinical neuropsychologist specializing in brain function and resulting behaviour. Ash has almost 15 years’ experience working with children and families, supporting them to feel happier, more confident and resilient. To contact Ash please visit her

website.

onto a physical object. Decluttering also teaches kids that it’s OK to let go of things that are no longer in our best interest and to be discerning about what and who, they choose to bring and keep in their lives.

3. Decluttering promotes the ideas of

Editor’s

Choice

community, empathy and consideration for others.

When

we

eliminate

the

extraneous,

THE LIFE-CHANGING MAGIC OF TIDYING UP

by Marie Kondo

especially with the intention of passing

The Japanese Art of Decluttering & Organizing.

it along to others who could really use it,

• s implify & organize your home once • you’ll never have to do it again • determine the items in your house that ‘spark joy’ • enjoy the unique magic of a tidy home • find the calm, motivated mindset it can inspire

we teach our kids that they are not simply islands, independent of everyone else, but that their actions or inactions directly affect others. A vital component of confidence and healthy self-esteem is knowing that WE MATTER. When we promote the idea of community, our children learn the fulfilment

Hardcover Published 2014

that comes from helping others. And, perhaps more importantly, our children learn that it’s OK to reach out for help.

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RRP $33.99 Now $25.25 Booktopia may vary prices from those published.

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You Are? Who Do You Think

Words Susie Flashman-Jarvis

What causes you to view yourself in a certain way? Are you always

driven to succeed, do you always work really hard? Is your life out of balance, as you run as fast as possible, because stopping will mean you have to take a long hard look at yourself?

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.............................

W

What gives you your identity?

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

What if your identity finds its root in how you were raised during your early years?

Whether someone believed in you, or told you that they loved you? Maybe, after all, it’s nothing to do with how much you get paid or how high you rise through the ranks.

Maybe it’s nothing to do with how fat or thin GHG Disclaimer – please read

you are. Maybe it’s all about love and about belonging rather than just fitting in.

The effect of childhood trauma.

As a trauma therapist, I have worked for many years with men and women who see themselves in a derogatory manner. Trauma can affect the way we view ourselves and the way we view the world we live in.

It has been discovered over the past decade that our brains go through various stages in development. There are two key times; when we are toddlers and later when we are teenagers. During these challenging times our brains are re-hardwired. Imagine the struggle to reign in a toddler and the strength involved to stand up to an angry teenager who is pushing the boundaries. Both individuals operate in an orbit of self. The world, for many of them, is to ensure that their every whim is catered for. Everything is fine if they are given boundaries that flex but remain in place and if they experience love.

What happens if they don’t experience love? Imagine once again, children who are: 1. unable to flex any muscles 2. deprived and neglected, abused physically and mentally 3. harmed by one parent and the other parent does not protect them 4. abandoned, given up as unwanted 5. witness to the abuse of another, a parent or a sibling and are unable to save them GHG Disclaimer – please read

UNDERSTANDING

THESE

POINTS GIVES YOU YOUR

IDENTITY & PROVIDES AN

INSIGHT INTO WHO YOU REALLY

ARE.

FAILED, I’VE JUST FOUND 10,000 WAYS THAT WON’T WORK’.

‘I HAVEN’T

THOMAS EDISON

no one cares, no one guides them or shows an interest 7. left to their own devices; no one asked where they have been or who they have been hanging out with.

The result of trauma can be a person who 48 | SUBSCRIBE to GHG

..............................

6. free to do exactly as they please because

lacks self-care completely at one end of the spectrum, or can be driven to prove themselves at any cost. What is the answer to this dilemma?

Resetting back to factory settings.

There are various ways to restore yourself when you have grown up with trauma. Sometimes, it GHG Disclaimer – please read

here that re-parenting can take place, where you may find a new way to live. Hearing your own thoughts with someone to witness them can bring about massive change. Discovering that you had viewed yourself in a certain way because of someone else’s skewed view, can bring liberation.

Sometimes all is takes is a growing awareness

....................................

is through a safe, therapeutic relationship. It is

Susie Flashman-Jarvis is an accredited counsellor, speaker and ambassador for the charity Restored working towards bringing an end to violence against women. Susie’s novel At Therapy’s End tackles the issue of domestic abuse and is available on Booktopia.

Susie is also an executive coach based in the UK and is available for skype sessions. Susie may be contacted via her website.

that stops you in your tracks; a friend who challenges a lifestyle, or voices an opinion.

Maybe having your own children and wanting something more for them can start you on the journey to discover who you really are. In the

Editor’s

Choice

end, it is always about finding a safe place so that you can understand why you are living the way you are.

The best factory settings ensure that you: • are understood and experience a nurturing environment,

one

that

encourages,

challenges and believes in you

PEOPLE SKILLS

by Robert Bolton

How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others & Resolve Conflicts •

• are in a place of re-direction and that consequences come from within you,

•

rather than from others • find a state of mind that supports you so that you can understand yourself and come out from under the shame and live again • discover that failure just means you are

• •

•

Time tested book of communication skills Describes most common roadblocks Learn how to listen & assert yourself Find out how to work out problems & resolve conflicts How this can lessen damage to relationships

trying, rather than not doing anything.

How about you? Will you give yourself

Paperback Published 1986

another chance to leave the harbour? It is, after all the only way that you will reach a new horizon.

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RRP $38.98 Now $24.40 Booktopia may vary prices from those published.

Postage $6.95 per order AUST/NZ

Relationships

Dating Success Mindset Words Melanie Schilling

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

IF OUR INNER VOICE IS THE VOICE OF A ‘FRIEND’, IT CAN ENHANCE FEELINGS OF POSITIVE SELF-ESTEEM. situation

where

you

sabotaged

yourself by your own thoughts?

Ever talked yourself out of trying something, assuming you were doomed to failure? Our internal dialogue or self-talk is the most powerful motivator we have. If our inner voice is the voice of a ‘friend’ it can enhance feelings of positive self-esteem and propel us to act in a way that will move us towards our goals. If, however, our inner voice is the voice of a ‘frenemy’, (a frenemy is a blend of a friend and an enemy), it can lead to feelings of selfdoubt and stop us from taking action towards our goals. Put simply, our thoughts influence our feelings and our feelings influence our behaviour, therefore, our thoughts create our life experience.

We all have an unhelpful inner voice that rears its ugly head from time to time, but we also have a choice about how we respond to it. A disempowered approach would be to believe the negative thoughts and

52 | SUBSCRIBE to GHG

................................................................................................

H

ave you ever found yourself in a

mindlessly follow them, as if on autopilot.

A more empowered approach would be to challenge the thoughts and consciously choose to act differently.

HERE’S HOW: 1. Reality checking • What evidence is there to support the thoughts?

• Are they based on facts or your interpretations and perceptions?

• Are

you

jumping

to

negative

conclusions?

• How can you investigate and find out if the thoughts are true?

2. Alternative viewpoints • What other ways could you look at this situation?

• What else could this mean?

• If you were being positive, how might you perceive this situation?

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• Is it as bad as you think?

• What is the worst possible thing that could happen? How likely is this?

• What is the best possible thing that could happen?

• Will this matter in five years’ time?

4. Come back to your goals • Are these thoughts helping you feel better in the moment (Band-Aid) or helping you move towards your goals?

• What can you do to solve the problem and move towards getting what you want?

• What can you learn from this situation to help you next time?

By using these questions throughout your day, you can become your own ‘thought detective’.

Gather evidence and challenge your thoughts and if they don’t stack up, change them.

ONE-MONTH CHALLENGE Over the next month, your challenge is to make conscious choices about your life rather than running on autopilot.

Week 1: Keep a thought journal, either in a book or in a Moodkit. Record all the thoughts you can recall, positive and negative, helpful and unhelpful. The aim is not to judge the thoughts, but to simply record them each day.

Week 2: This week, divide your journal into two columns and record the helpful and unhelpful thoughts in separate columns.

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.........................................................................................................................................................

3. Put it in perspective

This will help you to identify the quality and quantity of your thoughts and start to evaluate the degree to which your ‘frenemy’ thinking styles are creeping in.

Week 3: Now that you are becoming more aware of your thinking patterns, it’s time to start challenging them. This time, divide your journal into three columns; one for helpful thoughts, one for unhelpful thoughts and one for challenging questions. Use the third column to jot down questions to challenge the ‘frenemy’ thoughts – your questions can relate to reality checking, alternative viewpoints, putting it in perspective and coming back to your goals.

Week 4: In your final week of the challenge, your objective is to reframe any ‘frenemy’ thoughts. Going back to a two-column page, this time record your ‘frenemy’ thoughts in one column and the new, reframed thoughts in the other.

So, take the challenge, step up and reframe your self-talk to create a friend rather than a ‘frenemy’ within ... and watch your life change as a result!.

Melanie Schilling is a psychologist and dating coach,

regularly

contributing

to

Channel

10, Channel 9, print and online publications.

In 2014, Melanie was appointed Dating and Relationship Expert for eHarmony, Australia and has worked across the Asia-Pacific and Middle Eastern Regions. Melanie may be contacted via her website.

SUBSCRIBE to GHG | 53

GREAT LIFE TO CREATE A Words Dr Matthew Anderson

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

lives

barely,

sporadically,

piecemeal,

partially and for the most part unaware

of the incredible gift they have been given.

Instead they are carried and defined by the rules, regulations and rituals of others who are themselves unconscious of the real forces that drive their beliefs and decisions. Only briefly and in unusual circumstances do they experience an opening through which they see the true colors of life or the immense

............................................

I

am convinced that most people live their

I have asked, ‘why are we all so afraid to live?’ for the better part of 50 years and have found at least as many answers as years but none satisfies, not one. And so, I have decided to stop asking. I don’t care anymore. Why are so many of us afraid of living? I refuse to waste even a brief but precious second searching for an explanation. Instead, I have decided to live…to live as fully and completely in this moment, right now, as I can and trust that this living will be an answer in itself.

potential that exists in their own hearts.

Bodies move and responsibilities are met.

Work is done, children are born and the cycle continues but in the midst of this, very little living occurs. Very few love until it hurts, cry until they sob, laugh until they fall down and sing and dance until every onlooker is caught up in the music.

WHY

ARE WE ALL SO AFRAID TO LIVE? What a strange question and so tragic that it must be asked. Why are we all so fearful of opening ourselves to the magnificence of this life? There are some answers that make a certain sense. We fear being overwhelmed or hurt, yes and we also fear being overcome by joy but somehow, to me, these answers are not enough.

They only leave me stuck in the fear and certainly not closer to being more fully alive.

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TO CREATE A LIFE WITH SUCH FEROCITY SUCH PASSION AND TENDER ELEGANCE SUCH ATTENTION TO WHAT IS MEANINGFUL AND SOULFUL THAT ONE BECOMES ENTIRELY IRREPLACEABLE. A FORCE OF BEING WITHOUT A WASTED BREATH A FULLNESS, A LIGHT THAT GIVES EVEN IN ITS PASSING A GLIMPSE OF THE FACE OF GOD.

about fear. They are about being alive.

Am I living right now? Am I loving right now?

Am I present right now? Am I sharing right now? Am I participating right now? Am I creating right now? Am I listening right now?

Am I responding right now? Am I feeling right now? Am I grateful right now?

There is only one answer to each and every question that is acceptable to me now.

• I do not have the time for anything less than YES! • I have no time left to kill or waste or pass.

• I have no space for NO and no desire to hide from wonder or from pain.

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....................................................................

Now I have new questions and they are not

•

I am resolved to live until I am dead and not die one single moment before my last breath.

• I have only one response to this life, whatever it is or will be…YES!

Dr Matthew Anderson, Doctor of Ministry specializes in counselling. He has extensive training and experience in Gestalt and Jungian Psychology and has helped many people successfully navigate relationship issues. Dr Anderson has a best-selling book, ‘The Resurrection of Romance’ and he may be contacted via his website.

GHG Disclaimer – please read

Kidz Matters

When Kids

lay PToo Rough L

earning to play and interact with other children or adults is one of the most complex skills that children learn.

Play teaches children about developing physical skills and co-ordination, developing

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Words Deb Hopper

Design Oleksandra Zuieva

cognitive and thinking conception, solving problems and enhancing memory skills. It develops language skills through playing and interacting with other children and adults. It develops social skills including learning to GHG Disclaimer – please read

cooperate, negotiate, taking turns and playing

3. Not understanding social rules including

by the rules. These are not only important for

turn taking, recognising minute cues

conversing and playing at home but will also

of facial expressions and reactions and

develop these skills at school when making

knowing how to change their actions

friends and learning in the classroom.

quickly enough in play.

However, some children may tend to play

Here are three strategies for teaching

roughly. This may be a general pattern of play

children how not to play too roughly.

which is disruptive to other siblings or family members most of the time, or it could be an irregular concern when they get frustrated or feel left out at school.

1. Help children to get a real physical sense, or a kinaesthetic experience of what it feels like to play OK or too roughly. To give them this experience, we need to take them through

There are three main reasons why children

activities that show them what it feels like to

may play too roughly.

be ‘too light’, ‘just right’ or ‘too rough’ in play.

1.

Difficulty

with

registering

sensory

information during play by not noticing or registering how heavy they are playing with toys or how firmly they are touching or bumping other children.

2. Not fully understanding the cognitive or thinking demands of play. This might include not understanding the rules of play or finding it hard to problem solve in the middle of play.

This might look like: • having an arm wrestle with your child, pretend wrestling with ‘floppy or weak’ arms and ‘really strong’ arms.

• colouring in ‘really softly’, ‘too heavily’ and ‘just right’.

• holding a pencil ‘too loosely’, ‘too tightly’ and ’just right’.

We need to give children a sense ‘in their body’ of examples of what it looks and feels

CHILDREN CAN LEARN HOW TO PLAY, ‘TOO LIGHT’, ‘JUST RIGHT’ OR ‘TOO ROUGH’

like to play too roughly.

2. Use a visual such as a traffic light system to give your child feedback that they are playing too roughly.

• Green would mean that they are playing well.

• Yellow is the warning that play is getting a little rough and they need to be careful they don’t get too rough.

• Red is that play is too rough and SUBSCRIBE to GHG | 59

Editor’s

Choice

that they need to slow and calm down, take a break and perhaps do something else.

REDUCING MELTDOWNS & IMPROVING CONCENTRATION:

Print out a picture of a traffic light, put it on your fridge or somewhere handy to

The Just Right Kids Technique

look at and start using statements like,

by Deb Hopper

• to understand & recognise emotions

‘your play is in the yellow warning zone, you need to play gentler’, or ‘your play

• to learn to control emotions & behaviour

is in the red zone you need to be less

• to reduce tantrums & meltdowns

rough’, or ‘perhaps it’s time to stop and take a break’.

• to be able to sit in class, listen & learn

3. Write a social story about playing well

• to feel happy, safe & emotionally secure

and not too rough. This can be short and simple such as: ‘I love to play with my little

PLUS: FREE “Just Right Kids” Circle Self-regulation model to print & stick on your fridge & BONUS of Deb’s web training videos.

brother. We have lots of fun. Sometimes I get too excited and can touch him too

Paperback

heavily which might hurt him. This is not

Published 2016

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the best. If I touch him too firmly, I might be touching too hard and mum might say I’m in the red zone. To play safely, I can take a

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in the green zone.’ Add some photos of your children or clip art of kids playing to illustrate the story. Write or print it out and staple it into a book to read at bed time to reinforce the best way of playing and not playing too roughly.

At times, we may feel at our wits end when children are playing too roughly. However, using a combined approach, through their body (touch and kinaesthetic senses) and through

their

cognitive

understanding

(external visual tools e.g. traffic light or social picture stories), you can really help children to learn to play without being too rough.

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break and come back later and play nicely

Deb Hopper, Occupational Therapist, author & workshop presenter. Deb is passionate about empowering parents and educators to understand the underlying reasons of why children struggle with behaviour, self-esteem and sensory processing difficulties. As a practicing, Occupational

Therapist,

she

understands

the daily struggles that children, parents and teachers face. Deb is the co-author of the CD Sensory Songs for Tots, and author of Reducing Meltdowns and Improving Concentration: The Just Right Kids Technique. Deb is available for clinic & phone/Skype consultations (02 6555 9877) & can be reached on her website.

GHG Disclaimer – please read

‘Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an

extraordinary destiny…’

– C.S. Lewis

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