Grey Matters Magazine

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where age is an attitude...

matters magazine

FindingLove Mother & Daughter

matchmaking team

BOOMERANG

KIDS

They’re back! DELRAY BEACH TENNIS CHAMPIONSHIP

SENIOR STONERS Are baby boomers still smoking pot?

WHAT’S THE POINT OF ACUPUNCTURE? Ask the NHL Panthers

MONEY MATTERS / HEALTH / FOOD / & MORE

expand your mind


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60 jewelers under one roof Aventura 19275 Biscayne BlvD.

1 block south of The Aventura Mall www.greymattersmagazine.net

Boca raton 8221 Glades road half mile past Turnpike

BOYNTON BEACH 9903B S. Military Trail half mile past Turnpike 3


contents features

ISOLDA MORA NOLI FINE ART

CYLI NDRICAL EXP RESSIONIST

Who wants to marry a millionaire? Our West Palm Beach mother & daughter Millionaire Matchmakers are hooking up the well to do.

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coverstory 12.....MAC Is Back!

Delray Beach International Tennis Championships

20.....The Power Of The Hug Connecting two people

22.....The Senior Stoner

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Are Boomers still smoking pot?

26.....Chill Out

Procurement of cool air

36.....White Now Contemporary St. Tropez Penthouse

40.....5 Guys You Should Never Date Deal breakers

45.....Tribal Jewelry

Accessory trend not to miss

56....Queen For A Day & Nite

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Makeover transformation

60... Grandparents Visitation Rights Information you NEED to know

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Isolda’s Art Gallery 144 S. Federal Hwy. / Boca Raton, FL 33432 / www.isoldart.us / isolda.art@gmail.com / 561.574.3515


contents departments From the Publisher............. 8 Ask Doris.............................. 9 Doris Gross - everyone’s mother

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Books Matter....................... 28 Your next great book Ladies Who Lunch.............. 50 Fun, fearless, like-minded women apply here! Parenting Matters............... 64 Boomerang Kids Money Matters.................... 69 Long term health care

Guess who’s back!

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contributing writers Diane Feen, B.R. Grey, Shoshana, Susan Dworkin, Susannah Pask contributing photographers Mircea Ciuca, Nicole Pasahow

Dr Dedo is a Triple Board Certified Facial and Cosmetic Surgeon specializing in procedures for the face, nose & body.

Senior account Managers Karrie Hodgeman, Jeff Klein, Joyce Paz, Larry Zahra cover model Jill and Amber Kelleher

Ask Dr. Dedo any of your cosmetic surgery questions at www.askdrdedo.com

Grey Matters Publishing 7548 Estrella Circle Boca Raton, FL 33433 561-450-9310 www.greymattersmagazine.net

our mission:

Grey Matters Magazine’s mission is to enhance the lifestyle of our readers by providing relevant content to the intelligent and sophisticated over 40, upscale segment of the population in South Florida

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y Charit Cystoiscis Fibr

Editor-In-Chief Susannah Pask

Turning Ordinary into Extraordinary

© 2013 Grey Matters Publishing

Philanthropy Spotlight....... 75 Cystic Fibrosis ected sel

Associate Publisher Sherri Rothberg

creative director Harriet Kalil

Brief Matters........................ 15 Did you know?

Health Matters..................... 21 An Rx for better health

Publisher Barry Rothberg

Editorial consultant Diane Feen

Relationship Matters.......... 10 For the love of love

Sex Matters.......................... 18 10 reasons to just do it!

staff & contributors

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Grey Matters Magazine is a publication of Grey Matters Publications. The publisher assumes no liability for the contents and claims of any advertisers or for any comments or claims made by those interviewed for any articles. Any opinions expressed are those of the person making the statements and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the publisher. Certain elements of Grey Matters Magazine will contain material submitted by outside sources. Grey Matters Publications accepts no responsibility for the content, accuracy, and conformity to applicable laws of such material.

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A surgeon’s success depends just as much on the quality of care Gardens Cosmetic Center as the quality Facial and Body Plastic Surgery Palm Beach Gardens, FL of work. (866) 307-1032 To request a consultation, please call us at:

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American Board of Cosmetic Surgery is not recognized by the State of Florida. 7


Gents hair styling

publisher

from the

Welcome back to Grey Matters! We’re delighted to report that we’ve been inundated with great feedback from our inaugural issue! It has been a labor of love, with long days and nights of hard work from many people all over the U.S., brought together to create a truly different type of publication for you. We are honored to hear that all was not in vain.

Letters to the

editor Dear Mr. Rothberg,

You kept your promise... I did not put your magazine down until I read it from cover to cover. Thank you for publishing a magazine that caters to the over 50 crowd. I am totally in agreement with your cover statement that “age is an attitude.” My husband and I have been Delray Beach residents for the past five years, while still maintaining a home in New Jersey. After moving to Florida, I am even more convinced that our years from age 50 forward, can be both the most rewarding and the most enjoyable. From reading the first issue of your magazine, I sense you believe that too. Thank you, Laura

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Q

A

With love and thanks to all our readers!

Barry & Sherri

matters

—What’s good about me?

Men do not take hints well. If a woman says “Is that your underwear on the floor”? To a woman, it means “pick up your underwear.” To a man, it means “Is that your underwear?” If you have been verbal about your needs, you need to gently remind him. Hey, maybe he’s afraid to compliment you for fear he’d loose you to someone better than HIM. Men can be strange at times.

Q Dear Doris,

Grey Matters Magazine is also steeped in a philanthropic mindset, donating a percentage of advertising revenue from each issue to charity.

Please send your comments or questions to: barryr@greymattersmagazine.net

A column by Doris Gross —everyone’s mother

Dear What’s good,

Making a Difference

Have a question about relationships, love (or just about anything else) you’d like answered? We have just the person to answer it for you. Doris is our resident expert on all matters and we predict that the Ask Doris column will rapidly become one of your favorites.

Everything

I have been married for three years and I love my husband very much. I believe him when he says he loves me, but he never gives me compliments or tells me what he likes about me. Why won’t he compliment me?

With that in mind, we turn our attention to love. The importance of Valentines day is not about expensive flashy gifts, but rather to show your appreciation of your relationship and all you do for one another. In this issue, with Valentine’s Day looking large on the horizon, we want to show you how professional matchmakers can take much of the guesswork out of the dating game and introduce you to people who truly complement who you are. Our cover models, Jill and Amber Kelleher founded Kelleher International 26 years ago and have become the selective and personalized matchmakers. Jill and her daughter, Amber, have appeared on numerous television shows on all three networks.

Don’t forget to check out our latest Make Over pages, Brief Matters, Health Matters, and the beautiful Home Renovation pages.

She knows

Dear Doris,

Readers tell us they love our unique voice, sassy attitude and say-it-like-it-is content. We’re unapologetically honest about what it means to be older and wiser (grey matters) in a youth obsessed culture, and we celebrate everything that you are and can be. We show you how to enjoy life at any age-highlighting the best of living in our own special neighborhood, South Florida.

We want our magazine to make a difference in our readers’ lives. By writing articles that help our readers thrive (not merely survive) and donating a portion of our advertising revenues to charity, we can also make a difference in people’s lives. For this issue, we chose the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. With the introduction of promising new drugs, children born with CF can expect to live longer than ever before, thanks to the hard work and dedication of this amazing organization. Please consider making a small donation.

ask Doris

Hair cuts for Men & Women Celebrity Stylist Hot Shaves for Men Keratin Treatments

561-395-4450 NEW LOCATION 3200 North Federal Hwy. Suite 102 Boca Raton, Florida 33431 www.greymattersmagazine.net

Our newly married daughter invites us to dinner all the time. Good you say? Well, not so good. Her cooking is (to put it nicely) unedible! We are invited once a week, and don’t get me wrong, we love spending time with her and her new husband, but honestly, the food issue is becoming quite a problem. We don’t want to hurt her feelings, but we can only handle so much.

A

—Hungry

Dear Hungry,

I would suggest having a very large snack BEFORE you leave the house. Hunger pains never help a situation. Also, I would say to buy her a cookbook. Pick out a simple recipe and ask her to please make it for you the next time you come for dinner. And there’s your win-win situation. In the meantime, does she have a hungry dog hanging out?

Doris

Got a question? Just ask Doris at Doris@Greymattersmagazine.net 9


Love

f o e v o l e h For t Is it REAL love or ? n o i t a u t a f n i FEEN BY DIANE

L

ove is a many splendid thing—that is if you can capture its essence. Like a beautiful butterfly or a miraculous sunset, love can inspire us and touch our lives like no other emotion. Love is talked about, written about, mourned and celebrated. It can be one of life’s greatest (and most sought after) commodities, yet it can leave us as scathed as a dozen red ant bites. That’s the mystery of love. We long for it yet are sometimes disappointed by it. Some people are lucky in love while others are always searching for its elusive fingernails to grip their heartstrings. And according to the experts, that’s business as usual . “True love, life-long love, requires a rare match of two souls that “fit.” When you “fall in love,” what’s really happening is that your soul is responding to another’s soul. Your core essence is recognizing and responding to the core essence of

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another person who is a natural fit for you,” said relationship expert Greg Godek, author of 1001 Ways To Be Romantic.

No wonder we can’t quite get a grip on love the way we do a manual for growing orchids. That’s because there are chemicals involved, childhood hardwiring to consider, physical attributes at play, mental conditioning and common sense all fighting for a front row seat and and a respectable opinion. And if we’re going to understand the logic to this

After the

hunt and kill is over,

the hard work begins

illogical phenomenon we must look at the difference between infatuation and real love. We must also learn how to get from the initial attraction, which experts say is in the brain, to a more permanent lasting love state—leading to marriage.

But with the divorce rate at 50 percent, it’s easy to see that love is not always a discernable subject of certainty. Finding the transition from a state of lust to long lasting love is as difficult for some people as finding the perfect mode of transportation to infinity.

But it doesn’t have to be. “Many wonderful relationships begin with infatuation and it’s perfectly healthy. These characteristics are some of the underpinnings to a compassionate and empathetic relationship where both partners are able to sometimes put aside their own needs for the other. That’s real love!” said Dr. Ellen M. Adelman, the founder of the Sage Healing Institute (www.sagehealinginstitute.com) If your match made in heaven seems to be crashing down to earth, it’s not a disaster—you just might be exiting the infatuation stage. When that happens, there are clear messages (take note). “A person will realize that the infatuation-romantic love phase of their relationship is declining or wearing when a sense of disillusionment sets in. Spouses become more critical of one another, they’re easily irritated at things that didn’t bother them early

matters

in the relationship, they have less patience with each other, and are indifferent to the wants and feelings of each other,” said marriage experts Sheri and Bob Stritof. Sometimes that state of disillusionment can become the foundation for a more mature love. Either way it’s all part of Mother Nature’s master plan. “Most love starts out as infatuation. It is biological because we need lust in order to be attracted enough to a mate,” said Dr. Tian Dayton, author of Emotional Sobriety. Dayton isn’t kidding. When we meet a love match our bodies are flooded with chemicals. The euphoric phase of love (better known as infatuation) releases chemicals such as dopamine, norepinephrine or phenylthylamine. But the bad news (if you rave this high) is that it does not last forever. The good news is that a long lasting relationship will release a soothing set of endorphins that make us feel safe, secure and at peace. That sounds good. But how do you get from the lofty heights of a budding relationship to the stable siren of true love. “After the hunt and kill is over the hard work begins,” said Dr. Charles Sophy, Beverly Hills psychiatrist. “In real love you feel a sense of connection and you’re respectful of the other person’s needs. Sometimes their needs may even take precedence over yours. Real love takes time to nurture and fortify,” adds Sophy. But how do we get the other person or ourselves to stick around when the chemical rush fades? “The lasting part of love is a friendship. It is a daily process you continue to build, not something you neglect. Like a garden it requires constant weeding, watering, sowing and tilling. You never stop taking care of love, you always have your hands in the soil of your relationship,” said Dr. Dayton.GM

www.greymattersmagazine.net

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MAC IS BACK!! i “Our fans never tire of seeing Johnny Mac,” says tournament director Mark Baron. “He is a magician with a tennis racket in his hands. The amazing skills that you see in him and players like Mats and Pat are the reason people of all ages keep coming back.”

JOHN

Tennis Legends and Today’s Top Champions Highlight the 2013 Delray Beach International Tennis Championships

McENROE

JOHN

ISNER

S

outh Florida will once again be treated to some of the world’s greatest tennis players as the Delray Beach International Tennis Championships (ITC) returns to the Delray Beach Tennis Center, February 22–March 3, 2013. This amazing event is the only ATP tournament in the world featuring an ATP Champions Tour event and an ATP World Tour event in the same week at the same venue, which means you will have an opportunity to not only see some of the current top-ranked players, but also “legends” of the game. Tennis Hall-of-Famer John McEnroe is returning to Delray Beach to play in a newly-formatted ATP Champions Tour event that features six stars playing a round-robin event over three days. The iconic McEnroe will be joined by Mats Wilander, Pat Cash, Carlos Moya, Mark Philippoussis and Aaron Krickstein in the “legends” field. A Moya vs. Krickstein and McEnroe vs. Cash doubleheader on Friday, February 22 will kick off the 21st annual ITC.

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tennis

matters

McEnroe and Wilander, each winners of seven Grand Slam singles titles and members of the International Tennis Hall of Fame, are both returning to Delray Beach after playing in the ITC’s first two ATP Champions Tour events. McEnroe was the runner-up to Patrick Rafter in the inaugural tournament in 2009. Moya (2012) and Philippoussis (2011) won the last two Delray Beach ITC events and are the top two players on a Tour where players are ranked based on points compiled across a global schedule. Moya, the 1998 French Open champion, joined the Tour last year and at one point won seven straight events. Cash, the 1987 Wimbledon champion, and Krickstein have played in all three ATP Champions Tour events that have been held in Delray Beach. Krickstein, the director of tennis at St. Andrews Country Club in Boca Raton, reached the final in 2011. Under the new format, the Delray Beach ATP Champions Tour event now includes eight matches—there are six round-robin matches played in two player groups that lead to a 3rd/4th playoff match and a championship match, both scheduled for Sunday, February 24. The Saturday (Feb. 23) lineup will include the ATP Champions Tour’s current top-ranked players, Moya vs. Philippoussis, and a featured match-up between Hall of Famers McEnroe and Wilander. These legends are forever linked by their www.greymattersmagazine.net

KEI

NISHIKORI

FEATURED MATCHES:

TOMMY

HAAS

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briefMATTERS

Don’t miss a beat

D 1982 Davis Cup quarterfinal—the longest Davis Cup match in history in which McEnroe outlasted Wilander in five sets over six hours and 32 minutes. In addition to all the action on the courts, select VIP opportunities are also available including exclusive access to private parties and dinners with players, amazing on-court seating, and even participation in a match coin toss. For the true tennis enthusiast, on February 24, the ITC will offer The Legends Clinic, a once-in-a-lifetime “bucket list” experience whereby a select group of players will have an opportunity to be taught by some of the greats of the game including John McEnroe. This phenomenal clinic will also include lunch in the Official Players’ Lounge, one Stadium Court Box seat, premier parking, a Delray Beach ITC gift bag and more. Following the excitement of the Champions Tour event, the Delray Beach ITC will immediately roll into its ATP World Tour play with some of today’s greatest competitors slated to take part in the tournament. Highlighting this year’s event are top Americans: John Isner, Mardy Fish, and Olympic Gold Medalists Bryan Brothers. As well, former champions Tommy Haas and Kei Nishikori have signed on to return, giving the tournament at least five former champions in its ATP World Tour field. To purchase tickets or to get more information on VIP opportunities, please call (561) 330-6000. Tickets may also be ordered online at www.YellowTennisBall.com or via select Walmart Ticketmaster outlets or the ITC box office. Complete tournament information is available on the Delray Beach ITC website, www.YellowTennisBall.com.GM 14

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SCARE OFF Weight P

eople who put themselves through watching 90 minutes of adrenalinepumping horror movies can use up as much as 113 calories, almost the same amount of calories burned during a 30 minute walk and the equivalent to a chocolate bar. The University of Westminster study measured the total energy expenditure of 10 people as they watched some frightening films. The movie has to be scary and the scarier it is the more calories you’re likely to use. The top 5 calorie-burning frightening films were:

1. The Shining: 184 calories 2. Jaws: 161 calories 3. The Exorcist: 158 calories 4. Alien: 152 Calories 5. Saw: 133 calories

www.greymattersmagazine.net

epression is tied to cardiovascular aging. In one study, men and women who had heart disease and depression had a 69 percent higher rate of death from heart disease than those who simply had heart disease and no depression. And in another study, depressed women were found to have lower bone density than those who weren’t depressed, presumably from high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which was found in higher levels in the blood of depressed people.

didyouknow... kRight-handed people live, on

average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

kYour tongue is germ free

only if it is pink. If it is white, there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

kHumans

and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

kIf a statue in the park of a

Yes, people over 50 are really interested in sex

T

he New England Journal of Medicine looked at the sexual interests of those 57 to 85 years old. Of the 3,000 people surveyed, men and women agreed that good health and an active sex life are directly related. Untreated, sexual problems can lead to depression, social withdrawal, and stopping medications. Planning for retirement is important, but our sex lives continue as we age and are an important part of a vibrant, active and happy life.

person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the died of natural cause.

Men have THICKER SKIN

Literally, a man’s skin is thicker and firmer than a woman’s. Having higher levels of testosterone in their blood, men’s dermis & epidermis skin layers are thicker and have more elastin and collagen (gives skin firmness & elasticity) than women. This means that a man’s resistance to aging skin (lines, wrinkles, skin laxity, etc.) is higher than a woman’s).

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ten sexMATTERS

feel better reasons to...

BY B.R. GREY

R

egardless of gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, disability, or whether you er, are single or with a partn ur sex is a crucial part of yo physical, emotional and psychological health. We heard it all our lives. “Eat your fruits and vegetables and exercise 30 minutes everyday to maintain good or health.” What about sex masturbation two or three times a week?

Having sex two or more times a week can

just do it! and we’re not talkin’ Nike

4 8 5 2 6 9 3 7 10 HEATS UP HORMONES

PAIN RELIEVER

Regular sexual activity boosts testosterone and estrogen levels. Testosterone fuels the sex drive in both senses. Besides boosting your libido, testosterone strengthens bones and muscles. It also keeps your heart in good working condition and good cholesterol levels high. For women, sex increases estrogen levels, which protects against heart disease, Alzheimer’s and osteoporosis.

During sex, a powerful hormone called oxytocin is released. When you hug or kiss a loved one, oxytocin levels drive up during sex. Because of this endorphins are released that alleviate pain.

1 ‘

lower your risk

of a heart attack & or stroke.

MAINTAINS YOUR LOOKS

Parts of your body, including the face, contain cells that are more receptive to the effects of estrogen than others. Estrogens benefit your skin by maintaining its natural glow, increasing elasticity and plumping up the face with collagen. Shiny hair is another benefit of increased levels of estrogen. BOOSTS IMMUNE SYSTEM

Every time you reach an orgasm, it strengthens your body’s support system, helping to fight illnesses like colds and stomach bugs as well as diseases. Sex once or twice a week has been linked to 30 per cent higher levels of the biochemicals called immunoglobulin A and endorphins, which stimulate the immune system.

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matters

www.greymattersmagazine.net

SLEEP ENHANCER

Not sleeping? The endorphins released during an orgasm not only relieve tension but research has shown that sex also helps the body to get a deeper, more restful sleep. Deep, restful sleep helps you handle the day-to-day stress much more efficiently. INCONTINENCE STOPPER

A problem in aging, sex helps strengthen the pelvic muscles and helps bladder control. Kegel exercise will help tighten the muscles of your pelvic. To do a basic Kegel exercise, tighten the muscles of your pelvic, as if you are trying to stop the flow of urine. Count to three, then release the muscle. You can do this standing in line at the supermarket or while driving in your car.

a thirty-three percent lower risk of prostate cancer than those with seven or less ejaculations. CARDIOVASCULAR HEALTH Everyone knows their heart beats faster during sex getting the blood pumping and the heart beating, which strengthens the cardiovascular system. Studies have shown that even as you age, having sex two or more times a week can lower your risk of a heart attack and/or stroke. Also, the increased heart rate and deep breathing during sex increases blood circulation which is beneficial, especially to the brain. PLEASURE ENHANCER Feel like you’ve just gotten a big raise at work! When you share a sexual experience with your partner, your brain will associate pleasure instead of the things that bug you about them. Increasing your sexual frequency from once a month to once a week makes you feel a happiness equivalent of a $50,000 increase in salary.

CANCER RISK REDUCER

Anxiety buster

Some researchers believe ejaculation reduces the risks of prostate cancer by as much as 30 percent. A National Cancer Institute survey of 30,000 middle-aged men found that those who averaged twentyone ejaculations a month showed

Sex is ten times more effective than Valium and has no side effects. The hormone, oxytocin, along with being a pain reliever and bonding hormone, floods the bloodstream during orgasm. GM

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The power of the

hug H

How sweetit is D

eath by sugar may not be an overstatement— evidence is mounting that sugar is THE MAJOR FACTOR causing obesity and chronic disease. Is sugar a sweet old friend that is secretly plotting your demise? There is a vast sea of research suggesting that it is. Science has now shown us, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that sugar in your food, in all its myriad of forms, is taking a devastating toll on your health.

BY Shoshana

ugging literally connects two people. Our earliest memories of hugs are from our parents’ protective hugs. Love is often ignited by that first hug. There are passionate hugs, platonic hugs, playful hugs, congratulatory hugs, greeting hugs, and, even, insincere hugs. There are hugs that meld two bodies into one and there are hugs that cement political alliances. A hug can awaken desire, it can make our skin tingle, send electric shivers all the way down the spine and lead to ecstasy. A romantic hug is a highly intricate movement. When we embrace, the muscles of our shoulders and back respond, our blood pressure increases. Sometimes we sweat. Our skin glows with a euphoric flush. Scientific studies have shown that most people prefer to turn their head to the right when embracing. This right-turning preference is thought to be imprinted in the womb, where unborn babies favor turning their heads to the right in the last trimester of birth. Virtually every hug implies a closeness, a sense of connection—both spiritual and sensual. Hugging is the ultimate intimacy. And there’s nothing like a big hug to heal a bad day. GM

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healthMATTERS

matters

something to sneeze about

rinking as little as two soft drinks D a week appears to nearly double the risk of getting pancreatic cancer, according to a new study.

“People who drank two or more soft drinks a week had an 87% increased risk—or nearly twice the risk—of pancreatic cancer compared to individuals consuming no soft drinks,” says study lead author Noel T. Mueller, MPH, a research associate at the Cancer Control Program at Georgetown University Medical Center, Washington, D.C. The study is published in Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers & Prevention, a journal of the American Association for Cancer Research.

cancer linked to soda

A

new study shows pollen counts will more than double in 28 years. With this year’s unseasonably warm temperatures and extended seasons, many have coined 2012 as being the worst for allergies. But if you thought your symptoms were worse than ever, just wait until the year 2040. According to a study being presented by allergist Leonard Bielory, M.D., at the Annual Scientific Meeting of the American College of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology (ACCAAI), pollen counts are expected to more than double by 2040.

Nailed!

W

henever I get a manicure, I’m always on the lookout for the telltale signs of a clean nail salon. Is there pre-existing white residue on the “clean” emery board? Did the manicurist wash her hands before touching mine? Clients walk out of salons with infections—bacterial, viral and fungal. And no matter which salon you go to, there is always a risk of infection. Research shows 75 percent of salons in the United States are not

following their own state protocols for disinfections, which includes not mixing their disinfectant solutions properly on a daily basis, not soaking their instruments appropriately, using counterfeit products to reduce costs (for example Windex substituted for Barbicide), and the problem that there is no way to really verify an instrument has been properly soaked and sterilized without watching the process.

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However, skip taking that toke if you’re on a diet, marijuana is known to be a powerful appetite stimulant. These South Florida senior are —gulp!—discretely puffing on joints, with smiles on their faces, their pains from arthritis to cancer go up in smoke. These are the stoners who brought marijuana with them as they aged. These are the stoners who grew up in the 60s and 70s, smoked weed in high school, hit the bong in college, lit up a joint after the kids were asleep, and stopped hiding the stash under the bed in a cigar box when the kids went off to college.

oner St

The Senior

A

BY Shoshana

new study shows that a growing trend among the baby boomer generation is to indulge in the country’s most popular illegal drug. Call it what you want; cannabis, marijuana, pot, weed, dope or ganja, has been part of humanity’s medicine chest for almost as long as history has been recorded. Marijuana is the third most popular recreational drug in America (behind only alcohol and tobacco), and has been used by nearly 100 million Americans. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental

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Health Services Administration, data states that Americans 50 and older have tried pot at least once.

Some started using it for recreation or as a way to cope with the aches and pains of age, while others, from the hippie era, never stopped using it. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration reported a dramatic rise in the use of marijuana of baby boomers ages 55-59. The use of the drug tripled from 2002–2008 from 1.6% to 5.1%. In 2011, the National Survey on Drug Use and Health estimated that drug

use among seniors has increased more than three percent over the past eight years. It is believed that there will be an even further increase in the use as the 78 million boomers age, again tripling by 2020. That kindly gentleman, the cute little old lady, the ladies playing cards and doing their yoga exercises at the community clubhouse, could be among the growing population known as the “senior stoners.” One woman senior stoner said “she relaxes with a glass of wine, some classical music and a couple of hits off her bong”. Another senior gentleman said that “every night he watches the news with a beer and rolls a joint.” “It’s no big deal, and it shouldn’t be a crime, said another. matters

ing hookah machines has been a way for seniors to alleviate their pains (most don’t know how to roll).

This past election day, voters in Washington & Colorado voted The senior stoner depends on backyard growers, buying from and passed the regulation, friends, aka “happy grass” pals production and sale of limited or even their children’s friends in amounts of marijuana by those order to obtain the illegal weed. over 21, removing all penalties Joining the reefer club and buy- for the private possession and

She relaxes with a glass of wine, some classical music and a couple of hits off her bong.

responsible use of marijuana by adults, including cultivation for personal use,and casual non-profit transfers of small amounts. To date 14 states have passed laws decriminalizing marijuana (Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Main,Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Nebraska, New York, North Carolina, Ohio & Oregon). Typically decriminalization means no prison time or criminal record for first-time possession of a small amount for personal consumption. The conduct is treated like a minor traffic violation. As more states are making the move to legalize pot, not just for medical purposes for but for recreational use, the more likely it is that you will see baby boomers standing in line waiting to see which ganja strains they can get. Baby boomers who don’t smoke pot choose that path for two reasons; increasing paranoia that stems from smoking weed for the last 30 years,or a job that requires random drug tests.

NOW, has anyone seen my bong? GM www.greymattersmagazine.net

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t u O Chill I

BY DIANE FEEN

’ve been called an airhead in my day. But, I never took it as an insult; I just thought it was an unreasonable assessment of my bubbly personality. But now, as middle age surrounds me like a moat, I have become a real honest to goodness airhead — specializing in the procurement of cool air.

But it didn’t come easy. I searched, sweated, asked questions, listened and scratched my head quite often. I also took phone numbers, called air conditioning companies and opened the door for strange men, often in a nightgown.

I wasn’t always this technically savvy. I would not have known a copper tube from an inner tube and always thought a seer was someone who watched the world from afar. But in the world of home repair in South Florida, I learned it’s a dog eat dog world. No show of emotion or home cooked lasagna will repair a broken pipe without a hefty fee.

He wanted the cash (not

I also knew our barter was purely an economic one. I would be paying (quite a role reversal for a single gal) and he would be providing services (ditto). He wanted the cash, not my body, and I wanted a new air condtitoner, not a second date or life partner. Although dinner—or roses—would have been nice, this more utilitarian relationship required no messy primal emotional involvement (thank goodness).

my body)

and I wanted a new air conditioner

After a while it seemed like dating. We met, I watched to see what they would say (it was irrelevant if they loved their mothers in this scenario), I listened to their diagnosis and waited for them to make a recommendation (luckily the surgery was for my air handler, not me). Since I was naive in the ways of wires that cool, I was an easy mark. One day Rheem was good, other days I was advised that the coils would leak. Some days I was told it would cost $5,800 for an air handler and compressor, other days the price would go down to $3,000. Like oil in the open market the price for cool air fluctuated like GE stock.

But I had to keep cool, in more ways than one. I had to keep asking the same questions in the hope they might utter a semblance of truth and duplicity. Unfortunately, I discovered that my techno suitors were as conflicting in their advice and assessments as hopeful presidential candidates.

And similar to dating, I had to intersperse my gentlemen callers so they would not come face to face with each other. I did not want to get caught cheating. If I was going to get a proposal (and a truthful answer from them) I had to make sure each one felt special. Luckily, there was no preliminary primping involved. There was also no dinners, no long walks on the beach, no mascara involved, and no first impression rose to vie for. If my cool suitors were to win the affection of my checkbook they had to impress me with their cool factor. Did they think I should get a two or three ton unit, would I best be served by 13 or 14 SEERS, and did they know 26

that my copper tubing was 5/8 inches and just short of the required 3/4 inches?

One suggested Frigidaire, another favored Goodman. A few others

matters

said that the Goodman product was “garbage” and that Trane was superior to them all. Of course the name Rheem came up quite often over the course of my intensive interrogations (there is no Gitmo for AC techs who lie, unfortunately). But the best part was that I held the purse strings. Like a man asking a woman out for a second date, I made the ultimate decision as to which of my savvy suitors would win my heart (and my credit card. I do know that like a lover, my air conditioner may fall short of my expectations. I also found out that not every perspective suitor wanted to take off my plenum (trust me it’s not kinky, just the insulation above the air handler. I discovered after weeks of research (and listening to 15 airy suitors), that ultimately I should buy a 410-A Freon unit not a 210.That’s why I was so picky in my final choice of air conditioner contractors. I knew that I would not get a written certificate that my AC unit or salesperson will love, honor and cherish me until death do us part. I also knew that he will not be stopping by for tea or vying for joint custody of my RN3487 Rheem 410-A unit. But I do have some faith in my new cool contract and commitment. That’s because it comes with a one year warranty on all parts and labor. And one thing I know for sure, not even a good marriage comes with that solid a guarantee. GM 27


bookMATTERS

The Buddha in the Attic by Julie Otsuka

Flight Behavior / by Barbara Kingsolver

I

f you have not yet ventured a toe into the world of Barbara Kingsolver (The Poision-wood Bible, The Lacuna), now is the time. Be prepared to be swept up into a tale both intimate and enormous. Her latest novel, Flight Behavior, tells the story of a blossoming love affair against the backdrop of global warming, chaotic weather

changes and the migration of monarch butterflies that test a town’s greed and conscience. What is the right thing to do? Exploit the butterflies for sightseeing purposes? Sell the woods to pay off an upcoming debt—or try to figure out a way to relocate them, carefully and scientifically. Heroine Dellarobia Turnbow’s love

interest, Ovid Byron (where does she get these names?), an entomologist and ecologist, helps open her mind far beyond the petty challenges of small town Appalachia to a bigger, global frame of reference. The butterflies open Dellarobia’s heart as she stumbles into a life-altering journey of conscience.

Simplify / by Joshua Becker

D

o you own your stuff or does your stuff own you? Joshua Becker was living a typical suburban life with his wife and two small children until one day when he made a crazy discovery; his possessions were weighing him down both financially and emotionally. At that moment, he

decided to remove everything that wasn’t essential and pursue a life of rational minimalism. Becker has inspired millions to pare back their “stuff” on www. livingminimalist.com. Whether you buy wholeheartedly into this or not, it may nevertheless change the way you look at (and value)

your physical possessions. And most importantly, its approach can free you from the burden of clutter and provide you with the extra, motivation to realign your life around your heart’s greatest passions... whatever they may be. Isn’t that what we would all like to do?

book

Your next great

Susannah Pask, Editor-in-Chief

WE’RE THE REASON THEY CALL IT A “SEA OF POSSIBILITIES.

W

inner of the 2012PEN/ Faulkner Award for Fiction, Julie Otuska’s deeply moving book tells the story of Japanese women who arrived in California in the aftermath of World War I, most of them young and inexperienced, most bearing photographs of men they had agreed to marry, sight unseen: “On the boat we could not have known that when we first saw our husbands we would have no idea who they were. That the crowd of men in knit caps and shabby black coats waiting for us down below on the dock would bear no resemblance to the handsome young men in the photographs. That the photographs we had been sent were 20 years old.” Culture shock and cruelty met many of these mail order war brides, who had no choice but to submit to their husbands. They become farm hands, laborers and maids, laundry workers and shop clerks; their husbands took them for granted and their children were ashamed of their stilted English and foreign habits. An understated masterpiece, wrote the San Francisco Chronicle, this book will both shock and sadden you.

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matters

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29


Cover Story The days of meeting and marrying the boy or girl next door is as antiquated as the Sony Walkman. We have places to go, people to meet and careers that often demand much of our time. But that doesn’t mean we don’t want to find our perfect love match.

W

hat used to be the job of friends and relatives to introduce us is now being relegated to online dating sites and matchmaking services. Unlike our parents, who used to meet at dances and blind dates, our lives are much more action packed making it harder to find time to locate the man or woman of our dreams. Of course there are those who enjoy being a voyeur on the dating scene by staying home and watching TV shows like “The Bachelor,” and “Millionaire Matchmaker.” But for those who want to find their soul mate or life partner, it often takes a more proactive stance. That is why matchmakers have become the solution of choice for many looking to find that elusive thing known as true love. Like most things in our world today, finding the right mate might require casting a wider net. That is why matchmakers Jill and Amber Kelleher, of Kelleher International have offices all over the U.S. including Palm Beach, London and Stockholm. They also have the rolodex, the social skills, the intuition and the savior-faire

Who wants to marry a

Millionaire? by diane feen

30

matters

to help the loveless or lovelorn find a perfect match.

Paula Abdul and Jennifer Aniston

“A matchmaking service such as ours is the best investment you can make in your life. You invest in your home, your car, your clothing —why not in your relationships,” said Jill Kelleher, founder of Kelleher International. Jill and her daughter, Amber, consider themselves a family matchmaking business that caters to discerning singles of all ages.

Millionaire Matchmaker Jill Keleher of Keleher International

According to the Kelleher’s eighty percent of their clients enter into a relationship within the first year of their membership. “In terms of engagements and marriages, 2012 was the best year so far,” said Jill. “We’ve had so many that we’ve lost track!” One thing they have not lost track of is their list of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. Most of their clients are successful, accomplished men and women, celebrities and socialites aged 20 to 80 who don’t have the time or the inclination to find that special person to complete their life. The rich and famous, however, are pickier and prefer their search for a mate be kept confidential. They often want a matchmaker to do the initial screening process, giving them a shortcut to finding the right someone. Some of their celebrity clients include Paula Abdul and Jennifer Aniston. Another reason for the success of matchmakers such as the Kelleher’s is that people marry later in life and often move out of their hometowns where they are well known. Another less fortunate scenario is the death of a spouse or a divorce. Why do people who are successful and accomplished need a matchmaker? According to Kelleher some men join Kelleher International because they know they will be able to meet beautiful, fascinating women in cities across the U.S. Other men join because they want to www.greymattersmagazine.net

meet a handful of incredible women and are specific about their criteria with quality being more important than quantity. If you are still skeptical about this love match process just ask Nathan of Atlanta. “I joined Kelleher International and one week later I flew to Dallas for a date, and that was it! I was searching for years for the perfect woman and they found her in only three weeks! I am so excited—I can’t wait to get married. My fiancée is truly the woman of my dreams. I don’t know what magic they used, but I cannot thank them enough,” said the 35-year-old entrepreneur and business owner. So how do these wonder women make these illustrious matches? “We meet every client we work with and we do background checks to get to know them better. We know their age, their weight, their height, where they work, their likes and dislikes and their marital status. We meet with our perspective clients and we get feedback from every date, which really helps us define their search. We have been around since 1986 and we have the reputation and experience to be successful at what we do. We are as picky as our clients when selecting people to work with as well. If we think we can be successful we take on a new client, if not, we don’t. We get a lot of our clients from referrals of happy clients.”

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Kelleher International worked wonders for 38-year-old fashion model Sarah of Los Angeles. “Kelleher took the time to listen to what I desired in a partner. They were focused in their search and didn’t waste my time, which I really appreciated. I got married to a fabulous man at the Bel-Air Hotel because of Amber, and he was my one and only match!” To find that someone special there are Special Search Packages. “These highlytailored campaigns are classically designed to meet your discriminative taste, as well as represent the particular criteria of your future mate. If you want to.find a doctor.in St Louis we can do it. If your preference is to meet someone who shares your passion for yachting in the South Pacific, we can do that as well. If you want to find a gorgeous refined woman of substance, just name your city.”

If you are interested in becoming a member of Kelleher International you need a private interview with one of their associates to find out if you are the right fit for their services. NBC recently announced a new reality show to air in March about matchmaking called “Ready For Love,” hosted by Bill and Guiliana Rancic. Executive Producer, Eva Longoria, taped Amber Kelleher-Andrews to star on the show, which will add to Kelleher International already impressive line-up of publicity garnered over the years.

You invest in your home, your car, your

clothing —why not

in your relationships

The Kelleher’s have a niche database of potential matches for clients in a variety of cities as well as overseas. If you are interested in their services you have to have a disposable income of at least $10,000, with fees escalating from there.

But one thing for sure Amber has some expert dating advice for first dates. “A first date is your time to shine. You must follow certain phone etiquette and manners. That means being happy, having a plan of action and ask her out for a date don’t try to figure her out on the phone.”

Good advice. Now let the love matches begin. There are only a few days before Cupid shoots his arrow in your direction. And everyone knows that is the time of year to find a special person to share your ups and your downs— and your ecstasy. Happy Hunting! GM

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matters


White Now P H O T O G RA P HE D

B Y

B ARRY

G R O S S MAN

W E S T O N

T

his St.Tropez penthouse in Sunny Isles Beach, designed by Steven Zelman of Lichi-Zelman Style Interiors of Pompano Beach and Sunny Isles, features a masterly mix of materials, patterns, shapes, lights and textures creating an ambiance that is cool, calm and contemporary in white laquer, pearlized whites, off-whites and grays. A multitude of sensuous, cutting edge contemporary products and effects for which Zelman is so well known, flow throughout the spaces. Large-scale contemporary oil paintings lend excitement and personality. More subtle in its effect is the innovative use of lighting throughout.

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matters

The master bedroom features a wide-planked Brazilian walnut floor and subtle tones of white, off-white and gray that flow through the spaces. An oval niche with textured glass provides a sensuous wall feature whether viewed from inside the bath or from the master bedroom on the opposite side. www.greymattersmagazine.net

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A

C

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n the living room above “Seduction,� by Ngurah, is framed in a wall niche. A wool-and-silk area rug frames a white leather tufted sectional. The custom Venetian plaster cove ceiling design (not shown) features four different graduated rectangular drops to create visual interest and lend depth.

ustom quartz master bath countertop (shown at left) is dramatically lit from below and set over dark wenge-wood cabinetry.

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matters

custom oval ceiling and etched glass panels in the dining room (above) reiterate an Art Nouveau damask motif established in the foyer. Framing a tufted leather headboard (right) a custom-designed niche flows upward to the ceiling featuring panels covered in white crushed velvet framed in light. he frosted glass door to the master bath has subtle horizontal stripes. It is hung from the top and glides open on either side. The curvilinear custom ceiling design features dramatic lighting effects. A tufted leather headboard coordinates with the bench.

www.greymattersmagazine.net

39


U

h oh, no you don’t, keep walking. Yeah, he’s hot, but you don’t want to go there. He’s either your best friend’s man, your child’s teacher or someone who plays another significant role in your life.

You can watch but you can’t touch. Even if you are single again and ready to play, there are certain men you should steer clear from in order to avoid attracting complications into your life. These men are off limits because of either who they are or who they are dating. Beware of these attractive men who you may find not far from your immediate circle.

1 Your Child’s Teacher If your child has a handsome teacher who keeps giving you the eye, flirt mildly but never go further than that. If your son or daughter still has a considerable amount of years left to graduate, you may be put in a very uncomfortable position if things don’t pan out in your favor. Plus, do you really want your child to be made fun of once the rumors of the affair hit the school cafeteria? Spare your child the embarrassment, and get your kicks somewhere else.

2

‘ BY SHOSHANA

40

Guess who lives next door? Sweet! Well, it’s Mr. Fix-it himself.

‘ guys you should never date! matters

The Handy Hot Neighbor

Guess who lives next door? Sweet! Well, it’s Mr. Fix-it himself. This man may be easy on the eyes and a great asset to the neighborhood, but don’t get involved with him. If you find yourself baking cookies or finding a leaky faucet, bring the cookies to work and call a plumber. While it’s convenient to be able to walk over to his house, once it’s over, your heart will not know a moments peace. “Oh no, who’s car is that in the driveway?” If things get awkward, you will have to find someone else to come over and fix your broken pipes and home won’t be so sweet anymore.

always there as well. An even bigger problem is that he’s drop dead gorgeous . A one-night stand is not worth ruining a beautiful friendship over this man.

4

The Married Guy

You so know better, but what if his attention just feels so right? What if your drought has been so long? You can “what-if” yourself until you’re blue in the face, but in the end, you’re still with an occupied guy. Add in what you are doing to his wife and family and what you are doing to yourself. It will end up to be lots of wasted time which you will never get back.

5 The Professional Trainer Sure, it seems like a total flattering turn-on. But you know the drill. Get it on with this guy and you are really just a cute plaything, to be discarded once the freshness wears off. And then where will you be? Finding a new class, or sport? Not even remotely worth it.

So when it comes to dating, watch out for the red flags, remember your mistakes and go with your gut feeling. YOU know what’s right for you. With age comes wisdom. GM

3 Your Best Friend’s Man

Your best friend invites you over to her place every weekend, and you even spend nights at her vacation home. The only problem is that her flirty boyfriend is

www.greymattersmagazine.net

41



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international Jewelers Exchange

espite the widespread use of cell phones, computers and other personal digital assistants, a fine timepiece is still the most popular way to tell the time, say the 180 individual jewelers at the three International Jewelers’ Exchanges, located in Aventura, Boca Raton, and now Boynton Beach. The wristwatch is still as popular today as it was in the days of the solid gold pocket watch. The status a fine watch brings its wearer is similar to wearing a piece of fine jewelry. It is a fashion statement and a visible expression of one’s status in life. Watches have become highly prized possessions. People buy fancy automatic winders to keep them on display and to make sure that—on any given day—they can

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pick out just the right one as their statement piece, to wear proudly at special events, for diving, golfing or at that all-important business meeting. Our jewelers note that designer styles and famous name brands, even with diamonds, are now extremely popular. We also see customers adding new bezels studded with diamonds to their older watches. The watch is often the topic of conversation among business men, similar to the way ladies talk about fashion. Prices for collectible watches have hit stratospheric levels, with some models going for a half a million dollars or more. Fashion-savvy Baby Boomers and Generation X’ers are fueling the vibrancy of the wrist watch industry. “The fashionable”

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buy watches the way they buy their clothes, jewelry or cars. The timepiece industry is also not lagging in technological evolution, with watches that now tell you the tide cycle, open your garage door, change your television station and access the internet. There is even a watch that, if you are lost at sea, can summon for help automatically. Vintage watches still rule the fashion world; there are always buyers for a vintage model and, of course, its value is always increasing. Our stores have a tremendous selection of pre-owned and new watches, with dealers that travel the country in search of cutting edge and classic pre-owned timepieces. ...A fine timepiece can last many lifetimes. - Larry Berfond

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The

Have a fabulou.s. afternoon with.

It’s My Turn

LadieswhoLunch Club

How to Ask for & Get What you Want from a Relationship Laura Osthetmer, MA, SAC, has over 30 years of experience as a counselor and wellness coach, dealing primarily with women’s life issues. She works with groups and individuals, focusing on improving self-image, building positive relationships, and making improvements to health and well-being.

Founder of Women’s Prosperity Network

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Call Sherri or email ladies@greymattersmagazine.net matters

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snap shot

A Peek into Last Months Ladies Who Lunch

BY susan dworkin photos by Mir couca

sun sentinel 12/2/12

“Austrian-born (chef) Josef Schibanetz is a master. Service is near flawless. Value is also a good part of the reason Josef’s is so popular. Mom would approve.”

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ted exci ked s a e w m loo yon a Ever rs. Grah future e M h s t a into

t was a great day for the Ladies Who Lunch with Grey Matters Magazine. Over 120 women (sorry men) gathered at City Fish Market in Boca Raton last month to share a gourmet meal and take a peek into the future. The guest speaker, Deborah Graham, brought with her a treasure trove of future secrets to share with our ladies. We learned what it takes to find true happiness in life, and everyone got to ask this local psychic relationship coach what the future held for them. One woman asked if her daughter was ever going to return to her, another wanted to know if she would make more money this year and still others had questions about their

www.greymattersmagazine.net

I’m not to do, I’mtelling you wh at tell you’re G ing you what oing to do

The

LadieswhoLunch Club

daughters, mothers and friends. Often times the answers were spot on. Roberta Wohl of Boynton Beach wanted to know if she should move this year. “Your biggest problem is that you get bored very easily. You are always in a caretaker role and you need to start taking care of yourself,” said Graham. When asked if this personal assessment had a ring of truth to it Wohl said it absolutely did. There were moments of profundity that startled many guests. “Is my mother still with me, even though she

nd gift a ge r e h essa ding Sprea ring the m e deliv

has passed on,” said one inquisitive guest. The answer was quite interesting on many levels. “Yes, your mother is very close to you, she loves you and wants you to do charity work. She keeps sending you messages and pennies from heaven.” For Ellen Gold that was a revelatory discovery. Gold’s mother passed away two years ago and for months she kept finding pennies everywhere she looked—on her desk, by her bed, in her car and next to her computer. It was an inspiring day for all—we looked into the future, stayed in the present and enjoyed the company of new friends. And, the cheesecake was superb, what more can you ask for in life? GM

53


I S T H I S YO U ?

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For more information, call Dr.Wasserman at the South Florida Sleep Apnea Center, 22053 State Road 7, Boca Raton, Florida. 877-561-SLEEP (877-561-7533) or 561-477-9500


Queen

volume and body, and framed her face using a slide cut technique. To make sure our Make-over Queen was happy and healthy she received a pedicure and manicure by Janice Loiselle, a facial by Gulnur Ucgan Weems and a divine make-up makeover by Darolyn Bellemeur. But that’s not all. Since Beverely has not had funds to buy herself anything—no clothing, jewelry, make-up or shoes—she was the guest of honor for a complimentary wardrobe by the very generous owner of Consigned Couture from North Palm Beach. They donated a beautiful red, green and black floral beaded dress with matching shawl as well as other dresses, blouses and fun jewelry. The clothing truly make Beverly look like a queen.

for a day & nite

“After this makeover I feel so special. I am truly blessed by everyone who helped today. Words cannot express how it feels to be pampered like this. My family and I are making a comeback and surviving the recession. This is just wonderful,” said Beverly, whose face glowed with pride.

by susan dworkin I’ts been a rough road for Beverly Thomas. The wife and mother of two from Loxahatchee Groves almost lost her home, and has endured years of recession related hardships. Although she has no health insurance, cell phone or computer, she sparkled like a torch at her recent make-over party at Theology Salon & Day Spa in Palm Beach Gardens.

B

everly was treated to a day and night of beauty and glamour, thanks to Grey Matters Magazine and Theology owner Thea Ciallella. The day started with a new hair color. Her mousey brown hair was transformed by adding deep golden brown and copper colored highlights. Colorist Erin Graham did the single process color that lightened up Beverly’s face and gave it a holiday glow. From there she visited Zac Williams who has a magic touch when it comes to hair cutting and styling. Williams worked wonders on this hard working and loving bookeeper’s tresses. He layered her hair to give it

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Jewelry designer Jackie Robinson let Beverly model her sparkling largesized necklaces as she walked the red carpet for her coming out party. As the music played guests danced and dined on food prepared by Rocco’s Tacos, Prosecco Cafe and Ciallell. A silent auction was help with proceeds donated to The Happy Camper Foundation. The HCF enriches the lives of children by providing financial help for extracurricular activities.

before

Beverly was nominated by her boss, Michael Guyard, a CPA in West Palm Beach. “I nominated Beverly because she has gone through such hardship the last few years. She always puts her family first and has no time for herself. She deserved this honor,” said Guyard.

after

The night was exciting and miraculous. Grey Matters Magazine wants to thank all those who gave their kind hearts to making someone’s life more splendid than it was yesterday. GM

matters

www.greymattersmagazine.net

Why should you be our next Makeover? tell us your story. email sherri at

Sherri@greymattersmagazine.net

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THEAOLOGY SALON & DAY SPA Relax, Get Beautiful & Enjoy

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BY diane feen

hea Ciallella, the owner of Theaology Salon, is a perfectionist. She doesn’t settle for mediocrity in any aspect of her life. That is the reason she has created one of the most elegant, comfortable, state-of-theart Salons and Day Spas in Palm Beach County. This calming modern Salon and Day Spa is the brainchild of Cialella, who has been in the beauty business for the past 21 years. Experience is a great thing to have, but Ciallella has much more than just years on the job. “I do color, cut and styling and it is my creative side that takes over when I am doing someone’s hair. You don’t pick out a style, it picks you,” said the beautiful Boston native.

her techniques and beautification rituals are ahead of the pack. She studied in New York at the L’Oreal Academy and has done magazine covers and photo shoots for the Palm Beacher, Ocean Drive, Town and Country Magazine and GQ. She has worked with charities such as Little Smiles, Leukemia Foundation and Hospice of Palm Beach. “It is my love and passion for hair that motivates me to create styles that are timeless,” she said. One thing to know about Theaology is that it is a team effort. They have an entire staff of internationally trained stylists that are highly qualified and expertly trained in the latest trends and beauty treatments. The chic salon—that is warmly insulated with natural wood, mirrors and state-of-the-art equipment—is a world away from the competition.

There are a lot of people who pick Ciallella to make their appearance picture “Step inside our salon THEAOLOGY perfect. Sarah and enter a Salon & Day Spa Palin and world of cuttingdesigner to edge beauty (Formerly Justin's Salon) the stars, techniques in 4881 PGA Blvd. Tory Burch a fun friendly Palm Beach Gadens are just two of atmosphere. the celebrities Our dedicated FLorida 33418 that have fallen talented artists 561-655-2101 under Ciallella’s are trained to spell. She also goes make you look and to the Breakers and feel your best. Your Mar-a-Lago to make appearance and comfort guests look their best. “I work with is our highest priority. When you a lot of socialites and I do work for leave you will feel like you spent a fashion shows and trunk shows for day with friends—we are a family designers like Oscar De La Renta, salon, everyone’s goal is to make Carolina Herrera, Bill Blass and you happy,” said Ciallella. others.” The treatments and services at Theaology did not come into being Theaology are numerous and on a whim. Its owner studied (and range from coloring of all kind, hair continues to study) to make sure relaxing, permanents, women’s and

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men’s haircuts, blowouts, damaged hair repair, organic and intensive Keratin treatments, hair extensions, facial treatments, waxing, make-up application, message, cold laser hair therapy, bridal hair, nails and airbrush tanning. If you think that Ciallella and her team are just a pretty face, think again. They are extremely generous and kind, and recently hosted a glamorous make-over with Grey Matters Magazine. Beverly Thomas (the nominee) was given a day of beauty and a new wardrobe (donated by Liz Araujo of Consigned Couture) last month. The team at Theaology went above and beyond the call of duty and together they created a human masterpiece. At her coming out party (hosted by Theaology) she had tears in her eyes from joy. Ciallella and her staff were also elated. “We do what we do to make people happy. To see the look on Beverly’s face made it all worth it. It is our gift to help others who need us.” It seems everyone who enters Theaology gets this gift of tenderness, care and concern. And best of all—they come out looking beautiful and feeling wonderful.

matters

COLOR ME FABULOUS

N

Neloida, hair colorist extraordinaire

elcida “Nancy” Irizarry was raised in Miami, Florida where she attended Welford Academy. After graduating Nelcida moved to New York and pursued her education and received her Master’s in Color at Welford Academy and a Business Degree at Brooklyn College. She owned and operated a salon in New York City for 11 years and later one in Palm Beach Gardens for 18 years. After closing both

salons Nelcida now focuses all of her attention on her clientele and making each one feel and look beautiful with styles that reflect their personalities. She has always been one to keep up with the latest trends and styles by going to classes, such as Vidal Sassion, Freddie Fekkai, and Toni & Guy, just to name a few, along with being certified in Hot Heads and Great Length Hair Extensions. Her passion and dedication to her craft make Nelcida a stylist you can always count on to make you look your best.

*THEAOLOGY Salon & Day Spa* (Formerly Justin’s Salon & Day Spa) *Truth, Beauty & the Pursuit of Excellence* 4881 PGA Blvd Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33418 561-655-2101

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s t h g i R

grandparents visitation

Many states have laws that provide visitation rights for paternal

If there has been a bitter divorce and your child’s former spouse has custody of the children, problems usually occur. You, as grandparents, are denied access to your grandchildren through no fault of yours. Many states have laws that provide visitation rights for paternal and maternal grandparents. Unfortunately, the legislation differs from state to state and the laws apply to the state in which the children reside. Therefore, even if you were to win in one state, you will have to begin the process all over again should your grandchildren move to another state. Currently, there are approximately 35 states with valid grandparent visitation statutes. However, these statutes vary in content, often using the “best interests of the child” standard citing conditions that must exist prior to allowing a grandparent to

& maternal grandparents

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oday, many children live out of state or out of the country so they can only visit their grandchildren once or twice a year. Unfortunately, many grandparents today have to fight in court to exercise their visitation rights.

matters

www.greymattersmagazine.net

Guidelines for making it work

petition for visitation, or specifying factors to help guide the court in deciding what is in the child’s best interest. Some provisions in the Florida Statutes that are comparable to practices used in other states have been ruled unconstitutional by Florida’s courts. However, there are some practices from other states that may provide guidance to the Florida Legislature if it wishes to draft grandparent visitation legislation. Florida differs from most states because the Florida Constitution provides a specific right to privacy that many states do not have. Because so many grandparents are facing the same problem, local and national organizations are now working toward the standardization of grandparents’ visitation rights.

Divorcing parents can prevent later intergenerational conflict by including in their divorce agreement a provision stating, specifically, that both sets of grandparents will have visitation rights. If visitation rights were not included in a decree, you can apply to the District Court for the right to visit with an unmarried minor child. However, the courts must consider whether grandparents’ visitation is in the best interest of the child. Yes, there will be emotional and financial costs, but grandparents should go to court if that is the only way to resolve the conflict.

1

don’t be aggressive

If the custodial parent remarried, give him/her time to make their new marriage work. Family transitions can be difficult for young children.

2

don’t start an immediate lawsuit

Open a line of communication with the parent or parents. You might even use a neutral third-party mediator. Visitation may be denied because the parent fears that the grandparent will talk to the children about him or her in an adverse way. 61


3

seek a family-law attorney, preferably one with experience in third-party (other then parental) visitation rights. Be prepared with documentary evidence and lists of witnesses to support your argument that it is in the “best interest of the children.” Evidence that a consistent caring relationship existed between you in the past is important.

WHEN THERE IS NO OTHER RECOURSE

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If there is animosity between you and the children’s parents, do everything you can to keep the > children from getting involved. > Grandparent visitation rights are not intended or designed to supersede parental authority. > The law applying to your visitation rights is the law in the sate where the grandchildren live.

S GRANDPARENTS RIGHTarentsrights.org andp ORGANIZATION www.gr

Dental care services include comprehensive dentistry, cosmetic dentistry, and restorative dentistry. In addition to their standard dental care services Regency Court Dentistry also offers 24 hour emergency dentistry services both for individual patients as well as trauma centers that require immediate assistance.

nal Organization is a natio ts gh Ri ts en ar dp an The Gr 1984 by ganization founded in volunteer nonprofit or ard S. director, attorney Rich founder and executive alified as tax-exempt Victor. It has been qu rnal ction 501(a) of the Inte organization under se in organization described Revenue Code as an d an e purpose is to educat Section 501(c) (3). Its d to and grandchildren an support grandparents hip to continue a relations e sir de r ei th te ca vo ad t or ed with loss of contac that may be threaten y, llowing, family acrimon amputation, usually fo t of wedlock, the a child being born ou ild’s parents death of one of the ch grandchild’s or the divorce of the parents.

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k Park, Originally started in Oa arents Michigan, the Grandp RO) Rights Organization (G , Michmoved to Birmingham d until igan where it remaine ters the national headquar cation lo moved to its present ad, at 100 w. Long Lake Ro lls, Ste 250, Bloomfield Hi phone Michigan 48304. The 191. In number is (248)646-7 azine 1991 Newsweek mag n’s called GRO “ the natio of its largest” organization hts of type supporting the rig grandparents. GM 62

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parentingMATTERS

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ou’ve raised your children—put them through college, taught them how to tie their shoes, ride a bike and pass an SAT test. And if you are like most parents you commented on their choice of clothing and friends, but your voice was muted by their independence. After high school your kids went off to college (even though it cost you more than your first home) and charted their own life path. They bathed in their newfound adulthood and basked in the adoration of budding romances and exciting career paths. Although your children’s closets are now filled with your mother’s antique tablecloths (and the clothing you might wear when you lose that extra 20 pounds), you still hope your adult children will come for dinner and occasionally spend the night. But you also know that part of healthy childrearing is letting them go into the world and become happy and successful adults.

an enviable midlife calm, something unexpected happens. The phone rings, a familiar voice is on the other line—and you hear, “Mom, can I move back home?” If you are one of the millions of parents getting this call, you’re not alone. According to the Pew Research Center an estimated 29 percent of young adults (aged 25 to 34) are moving back with their parents after being away at school, or living on their own. Sometimes this return to the nest is due to a job loss, a divorce or the current economic climate. This burgeoning trend has a new trend moniker to its namesake— The Boomerang Generation.

Just when you thought they were gone...

But don’t go feeling sorry for these grownup adolescents. Among the young adults who’ve moved home in recent years, a large majority say they are satisfied with their living arrangements (78%) and upbeat about their future finances (77%), according to the Pew Study.

half of boomerang children report they have paid rent to their parents and 89% say they have helped with household expenses. Not a bad thing for both parents and offspring. But, it’s not all honey and roses for some, we’re sure. There’s the loud rock music, the wildly pierced and tattooed friends who come to visit and a host of other strange behaviors not listed in the Dr. Spock book you read 30 years ago. First, the parties involved should discuss mutual expectations, length of stay and financial contributions. They should be written down, if possible, and agreed to by all parties. This way you guarantee everyone is on the same page and that your communication is out in the open (passive aggressive behavior is so messy).

Chores should also be discussed. Will Mom do the laundry and the dishes and the shopping? Make sure you are not setting yourself up to be overwhelmed (and stressedout) getting stuck with all the household tasks. Make sure your children help in the house and it will make you feel better about this new living situation. What about rent, groceries and cable TV? If you’re living on a fixed income you may need to ask your homebound children to contribute something to the household. It’s not only a smarter way to go, but it helps prepare them for the transition of leaving the womb. These arrangements can have mixed results, but a good measure of common sense

Also remember that the rules you established when your children were younger can’t now apply. The 10:00 p.m. curfew won’t hold up now that your son or daughter is 35, but you don’t have to allow

g o o B meran kids But just when you think your midlife crisis has become

noise and slamming door at 3:00 in the morning. You need your sleep too.

And it’s not all bad news for the parents either. Almost

BY SUSAN DWORKIN

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65


Guess who’s back!

blended with mutual respect needs to be shown. Both parents and children can contribute to a harmonic household by keeping your and your offspring’s best intentions afloat.

Are you prepared for what to say if your child asks for money? Your answer must be in everyone’s best interest —you and your child’s. If you give them money every time they ask, you may not be helping, you might be infantilizing them. Contribute if you must, but it is often better to suggest that your adult child learn to budget his or her money and start saving for a rainy day. Fear not. A few simple rules will help you keep your sanity and keep the peace at home:

1. Discuss expectations. 2. Set ground rules and time limits. 3. Share household costs and/or chores. 5. Prepare for money requests. 6. Help understand the concept of saving money. Although everything in life is fraught with different forks in the road, this one does not have to end up in a ditch. Some parents and children find that this new way of coming together is a real blessing, bringing out the best of both generations. You can resolve old conflicts, meet your child’s new grownup persona and enjoy the fruits of your labor (literally and figuratively). It is nice to keep an open mind and a full refrigerator, but if you don’t like living with your grown-up child you might want to take advice from comedy writer Ronna Benjamin and just “starve ’em out!” GM

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Planning for

moneymatters

Long termHealthCare Do you or don’t you? That is the question. If you’re over 40-years-old the subject must have come up a few times in conversation with a friend or an insurance agent. And, if you haven’t been moved to make that commitment for your future, now might be the best time to talk about the issues surrounding this controversial long term insurance commitment.

L

et’s face it; we’re all living longer these days. If you’re healthy, that’s a good thing. But for many, the cost of living longer means that it might be costly to live on your own, or in an assisted living facility. If you are over 50-years-old and have more than $70,000 in assets you probably should get long term insurance. “Long Term Care insurance is a key part of sound retirement planning. We would never say it is right for everyone, but there are things you should know before deciding if it is right for you. Nursing homes currently cost an average of $70,800 per year. By 2030 the expected cost will be $190,600 a year. If you stay 2.6 years, the average nursing home bill in 2030 will be $495,560. And by 2060 it will skyrocket to over $250,000 per year. Every year a person waits to buy Long Term Care insurance could cost them 10 to 12 percent more in premiums. The facts are—that younger buyers have less health concerns and getting underwritten and approved by an

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matters

www.greymattersmagazine.net

insurance company is easier. But your risk of needing Long Term Care is high. The probability of becoming disabled or being cognitively impaired (common triggers for receiving benefits from LTC insurance) is 68 percent for people 65 and older. While Americans are living longer, they are not necessarily healthier. The prevalence of cognitive impairment among the elderly has increased dramatically over the past decade. Twenty-two percent of people over 85 are in a nursing home, and about half of those over 85-yearsold not in a care facility do require some assistance.

“We hope you and your loved ones will never need Long Term Care. But early planning can help offset the potential for devastating illness and disability later in life. LTC insurance is not right for everybody. Whether or not you should purchase a policy depends on your health, income and assets. There are no hard and fast rules, but if you have assets to protect, LTC insurance is an effective way to protect them from the prohibitive cost of Long Term Care. GM To locate a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ (CFP®) professional in your area, please call FPA at 800.647.6340 or visit www.plannersearch.org.

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advertorial

For those who enjoy to smoke a fine cigar, just the fact of the communion between their cigar and them, during a pleasant episode of relaxation, reveals them a mystical conclusion: to smoke a cigar, is an art. And it is, from the very beginning of the process (the ground where tobacco grows, its fermentation procedures, the selection of the leaves and the blend and abilities of the roller) until the last mouthful of inspiration of the smoker. The flavor and aroma of a premium cigar, may not always be the same, due to several reasons as the constant fluctuation of the harvests and the personal appreciation of the smoker. That’s what makes a cigar unique, especially when it is totally handmade. Casablanca Smoke Dreams is an american company dedicated to manufacture fine cigars, from robustos to Churchills. Our cigars are totally handmade with dominican tobacco leaves, blended with nicaraguan, ecuadorian and Connecticut tobacco. Our cigar star, “Big Papi,” honors, wrapped in maduro leaf, the dominican big league baseball player David Ortiz, whose personality has been captured by us and materialized with the selected leaves from our land, which have a typically mild and sweet taste, as the heart of this dominican glory. Enjoy…

Local facial cosmetic surgeon, pioneers stem cell treatment for common medical problems!

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id you know that your love handles can be "re-purposed" to help chronic back, hip or knee pain? Dr. Douglas Dedo of the Gardens Cosmetic Center has been performing liposuction on patients since 1983, but until recently, the fat suctioned off was discarded. Now, as one of a handful of pioneers in this field, he is using the stem cells extracted from liposuctioned fat to treat a number of chronic ailments. The process is easy and almost painless. He harvests 50-100 cc's of fat, which is incubated in a special enzyme to digest it. After spinning the fat in a centrifuge, between 25 and 100 million stem cells are left, which can now be re-used to treat several common ailments. They can be injected into painful knees, hips or back with surprisingly good results. Stem cells are naturally anti-inflammatory; they also penetrate cartilage and actually help re-generate damaged tissue. This not only stops the pain but it reverses degeneration and starts the healing process. Miraculously, stem cells can also

be used in a nebulizer to treat emphysema and COPD. Chronic lung patients get an IV treatment as well as direct inhalation via a nebulizer, which reduces inflammation in the bronchial tubes and helps repair damaged lung tissue. Dr. Dedo is on the forefront of stem cell treatment and is the only doctor in Palm Beach County to offer this type of therapy. As director of the Florida Stem Cell Treatment Center, he is affiliated with the California Stem Cell Treatment Center and uses their Internal Review Board protocols. There are several centers nationwide which are linked to the California Stem Cell Treatment Center so that they all share the collective data and new ideas generated for this cutting edge treatment.

Rosanna Blanchard-Belen Casablanca Smoke Dreams

body that need repair; they have also helped with vision problems, correcting eyesight in a female patient with an optic nerve inflammation. Her vision is reportedly back to 20/40. Auto immune diseases are also beginning to show promising results with this treatment, and similar improvements in patients with neurological problems including MS and neuropathies are emerging; lung patients experience better pulmonary function and a decreased dependency on oxygen. It is hoped that stem cells will one day provide a cure for diabetes and many other serious illnesses. The goal in the next few years is to capitalize on stem cells harvested from the patients own fat and store them for in a tissue bank for future use, similar to what is now done with cord blood.

Approximately 80% of patients experience pain relief and orthopedic patients enjoy increased mobility, some of them experiencing If you would like more information, please go to www.floridastemcelltreatmentcenter.com a dramatic reversal of symptoms. Stem cells can even be given intravenously so that they American Board of Cosmetic Surgery is not recognized by the State of Florida. act systemically and travel to areas of the

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GET BACK IN THE WATER SAFELY: A SAFE STEP TO COMFORT AND INDEPENDENCE

This is your time… This is your place!

The MOST DANGEROUS room in your home... the bathroom

A

ccording to The New York Times*, the bathroom can be the most dangerous room in the home. Hundreds of thousands of falls and accidents happen each year. FACT: 1 in 3 adults 65+ fall each year, and falls are the leading cause of injury death as well as the most common cause of nonfatal injuries and hospital admissions for trauma.** *BAKALAR, NICHOLAS. “Watch Your Step While Washing Up.” New York Times 16, Aug. 2011, New York Edition ed., Section D sec.: D7. Web **CDC - Center for Disease Control and Prevention

SAFETY NEVER FELT SO GOOD.

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Safe Step Walk-In Tub will offer independence to those seeking a safe and easy way to bathe right in the convenience and comfort of your own home. Constructed and built right here in America for safety and durability from the ground up. Plus with more standard features than any other tub: • Less than 4-inch step up*** • Built in 17-inch high seat for stability • In-line Heater • Ozone Sanitizer • No-Strength Locking handle • Gentle Jet™ System, 16 air streams and 10 water jets

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Safe Step Tubs have received the Ease-of-Use Commendation from the Arthritis Foundation

remodel. Installation is included in the package and our installers are insured and certified in walk-in tub installation- all work is 100% guaranteed. Offering the highest quality and service while maintaining a low affordable price, there just isn’t a better walk-in tub on the market. So take your first step towards feeling great and stay in the home you love. ***On uninstalled tub, actual height may vary based upon installation

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Grey Matters PHILANTHROPIC SPOTLIGHT ON CYSTIC FIBROSIS CAPRI’S STORY

Capri was diagnosed with CF at three months old. Today, the big-hearted and lively third-grader takes 40 pills and spends one hour every day on her vest and nebulizer treatments. She also took part in a study for an innovative new CF treatment and her lung function improved dramatically. Now, Cabri is breathing easier. Please help ensure a long and healthy life for people like Capri by supporting CF research and access to quality care and CF treatments.

Together we can build hope & add tomorrows Cystic Fibrosis (CF) is a life-threatening genetic disease that affects the lungs and digestive systems of about 30,000 children and adults in the United States. Real progress has been made, thanks to a focus on pioneering Cystic Fibrosis research and care. To continue to combat this rare disease, we need to increase funding for lifesaving research and improve access to quality care and effective therapies.

Groundbreaking Treatments

Within grasp of a cure for a disease that, just a dozen years ago, seemed incurable. Kalydeco, for Cystic Fibrosis, is a triumph of genetics and drug development, the first medicine to directly affect the genetic defect that causes the disease. It will only help 4% of the 70,000 people who suffer from declining lung function, damaged pancreases, and shortened lives due to CF worldwide, but in those few it has a dramatic effect. It is making medical history.

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matters

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electe

Cystic Fibrosis

There is Hope Kalydeco is a new oral medication for the treatment of Cystic Fibrosis, approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in January 2012. It is the first drug available that targets the underlying cause of CF—a faulty gene and its protein product, CFTR. Kalydeco, taken alone will help thousands of patients around the world. Like other drugs for rare diseases the price is very high—$294,000 per patient per year.

Commit to giving up a meal and donate the money saved.

Today, there are approximately 30 potential drugs in development for the treatment of cystic fibrosis.

Please join Grey Matters Magazine by making a donation to help fight CF and give these children a chance at life. Make checks payable to: CYSTIC FIBROSIS & mail to: Grey Matters Magazine 7548 Estrella Circle Boca Raton, FL 33433

All donors will receive a free gift of “Sweet Thanks” chocolates from Grey Matters 74

d Chs arit y

Your donation will help us keep pace with vital Cystic Fibrosis research and care. 75


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My Mother’s

Recipes

It doesn’t matter if your mother was a great cook, semi-good or plain awful, there’s bound to be one recipe you just HAVE to pass on! Shelia’s

Ingredients

> 12 ounces skinless, boneless chicken-breast halves > 1 egg, slightly beaten > 1 tablespoon honey > 1 teaspoon prepared mustard > 2 cups cornflakes, finely crushed > Dash of black pepper

Dipping Sauce Carol Beth’s

Zucchini Oven Chips Ingredients > 1/4 cup dry breadcrumbs > 1/4 cup (1 ounce) grated fresh Parmesan cheese $ > 1/4 teaspoon seasoned salt > 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder > 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper > 2 tablespoons fat-free milk $ > 2 1/2 cups (1/4-inch-thick) slices zucchini (about 2 small) > Cooking spray $ 78

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1/4 cup ketchup + pinch chili powder = Kicked-Up Ketchup

Cornflake Chicken

Directions

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Cut chicken into 3-by-3/4-inch strips. In a shallow dish, combine egg, honey, and mustard. In another dish, stir together cornflake crumbs and pepper. Dip chicken strips into the egg mixture; roll in crumb mixture to coat. Arrange chicken strips on an ungreased baking sheet. Bake about 12 minutes, or until outsides are golden and chicken is no longer pink.

Directions Preheat oven to 425°. Combine first 5 ingredients in a medium bowl, stirring with a whisk. Place milk in a shallow bowl. Dip zucchini slices in milk, and dredge in breadcrumb mixture. Place coated slices on an ovenproof wire rack coated with cooking spray; place rack on a baking sheet. Bake at 425° for 30 minutes or until browned and crisp. Serve immediately.

Got a recipe? Email us at Recipe@greymattersmagazine.net

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