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Whether you are a tattoo aficionado, tattoo artist, business owner, artist, photographer, or just someone on the lookout for interesting info and eye candy, we at Grind Magazine would like to thank you for your patronage. We strive to bring you articles and images that showcase upstanding quality in our industry, and to provide you with thought-provoking tidbits of societal controversies in general. If there is a topic you would like to see featured in an upcoming issue, we welcome your feedback! Tell us about an artist, shop, or issue that has blown you away, and left you wanting to know more! Please send your suggestions to gallery@grindnj.com with your topic in the subject line. We hope you enjoy our current issue, and thanks again for checking out Grind Magazine.
Rick Schreck Zombie Illustrator Louis Da Michael Illustrations Carley Hussain Web Designer Yadira Soto Alternative Model Samuel DeAngelis Bella Arte Photography Frederick DeFrance Contributing Writer Ken Jamieson Contributing Writer David Allen Contributing Writer Amir Ressaissi Contributing Writer
Source Ind. Publishing, LLC. Green Brook, NJ 08812 editor@grindnj.com 862.202.9788
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CONTENTS
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great shops/bella arte SEE WHY BELLA ARTE IS ONE OF NEW JERSEY’S GREATEST SHOPS.
24. You are not alone, dos! WHAT WOULD A HAPPY SOCIETY LOOK LIKE?
27. ALTERNATIVE MODEL/yadira TATTOOS ARE MEANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
36. Marijuana Laws/change? A TIME FOR CHANGE TO UNJUST LAWS THAT CREATE MORE CRIME AND INCREASED GOVERNMENT SPENDING.
40. ken's reality check INTRODUCING THE MUSINGS OF KEN, AND HIS IDEAS ON THE WAY THINGS REALLY WORK.
41. David Allen /scary! BELVEDERE | CARAPACE | HAUNTED | SELF PORTRAIT
46. LIVINDEDS OUR LOVABLE ZOMBIE PALS CHOWING DOWN. WWW.GRINDNJ.COM GRIND 7
169 Bloomfiled, NJ 07003 169 Bloomfiled BloomfIeldAve. Ave. BloomfIeld, NJ 07003
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Universal Insight Intuitive Coach - Phone & Email Readings
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Manifesting a life together through the power of your mind body & soul.
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GREAT SHOPS
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JOEY TATTOO Above all else, Joe Germinario, aka “Joey Tattoo,” is a loving husband and father of 3 beautiful children. Growing up in the small, but well known town of Hoboken N.J., Joe learned the way of the streets. He learned that the only way to make it in life is to hustle for what you want and believe in, and to show respect to those who have earned it. At the tender age of 12, Joe starting working for his father on the weekends, learning the ins and outs of construction, as well as bussing tables nightly at a local Italian restaurant. As many young men do, he quickly discovered a fascination with motor vehicles, a bond he also shared with his father; and, at the age of 16, he made the decision to leave high school and further his education in a technical school for auto mechanics. This decision led to a long time passion of building many custom automobiles which then advanced into self-taught, custom motorcycle building.
Aside from being mechanically inclined, Joe was always very artistic, which led him into a new chapter in his life, his calling: apprenticing at a local tattoo shop at the age of 20. Working 2 jobs by day and tattooing at night, became too much for any one person to handle, so he decided it was time to take a leap of faith, follow his heart, and focus on tattooing full time. Opening his first shop in 1998 proved to be the right decision, and has been, for the past 15 years. Joe has become a very successful business owner and owes it all to the people who taught him to fight for what you want and believe in. He has never forgotten to show respect and admiration for those who came before him, pioneers in the tattoo industry that led the way. It is for these reasons that Joe helps anyone who needs it, and does so expecting nothing in return but the respect he has earned along the way. Joe has a motto, and it is simple and blunt….
“If you act like an asshole…You should be treated like one.” 12
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eric BLOOD I, Eric Blood, of sound mind and body, bequeath upon you the years that drew the color from my hair. As a child, drawing directly on my classmates and sometimes my teachers, was all I wanted to do in school. I thought, “How amazing it is that people make permanent markings in their skin.” At age 14 I dove as far into tattooing as I could. I had a kit put out by Huck Spaulding, and made a mess of a few friends’ tattoos. Flash forward 7 yrs and things get serious. I always knew I needed help, but was in too much of a bind to find the gall to get help. In Detroit, I made a few friends that showed me some tricks, but when I made it back to the New Jersey/New York area, I still had little skill to boast of. Tattoo machines were my specialty at this point. I knew the mechanics of tattooing. Then, a friend told me that he knew someone that could help me. A few days later, I met Joey Tattoo.
After apprenticing for close to 4 months, Joey had me tattoo our current clerk. Joey observed me tattooing, and with a couple of words, he fixed my major issues. Since then, I have dedicated myself to being a good tattoo artist/artist/apprentice. You never stop learning. When you think you know it all, you shouldn’t be allowed to tattoo. I have now tattooed with/for Joey for 8 years, and I am just beginning to find myself artistically. Color bombing new school art is one of my favorite tricks in my bag. Realism comes in second. I love when I can connect with my client, it only makes the experience better. I just love to tattoo.
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nico PEREZ I was born in the tiny country of Uruguay, and immigrated here with my parents at age 11. When I was a senior in high school, I accompanied a friend of mine to get a tattoo and I happened to have my sketchbook with me. The artist offered to teach me to tattoo. After that experience, I started practicing on oranges, chicken breasts, and artificial skin. I continued this practice for a couple of months until I graduated from high school. Then, my parents divorced, and I moved with my mother to Elizabeth, NJ. There, she got me an apprenticeship at a shop around the corner. I was so stoked to start at my very first tattoo shop, but I was there for a short time before moving on. My uncle gave me the money to get a set of machines and equipment to continue practicing on my own. Once I became decent, I started charging for my work, but had to tattoo out of my mom’s house for some time before a friend of mine got me a job at his shop. I worked there for about 7 months, until the shop closed. I was so bummed that it didn’t last… I was finally at a shop working as a legitimate 18
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artist. Shortly after the closing, however, one of my buddies that I worked with, Daniel Patrick, found me a job at a shop close to our previous location for the same owner, I loved the new shop at first. I found my passion and was making good money, but eventually I wanted more than what this shop was offering me and desired to take my career even further. I wanted to do conventions, and just involve myself in the industry 100%. I went to the Asbury Park Tattoo Convention as a spectator. There, I met Joey Tattoo, and a couple of days later I decided to check out his shop. I showed up with my portfolio and, amazingly, the rest is history. This past year, I have been getting into new school tattooing, but my favorite style is black and gray realism; especially skulls. Although, I am always up for the challenge to tattoo something I have not yet attempted. I see inspiration everywhere, including some of my favorite tattoo artists, such as Paul Booth, Bob Tyrell, Mike Demasi, Chris Garver, Josh Duffy, Fernie Andrade and Gunnar.
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ben
ashley
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shop, staff, and working well with my customers. These ideas never rang more true than they have recently, with the huge influx of clientele stemming from the most recent boost of Joey Tattoo’s notoriety on his show. Then, only when I have done my job, and done it right, can it reflect in the home. Although I am not a tattoo artist, running a tattoo shop that is open 6 days a week, takes commitment and dedication.
DAYNA Plain and simple… being the boss begins at home. I wake up each day as the mother of 3 beautiful children, ages 13, 8, and 4, the main disciplinarian for our puppy pit bull terrier, Spike, and for 17 years now, wife and best friend to Joey Tattoo of Spike TV’s Reality Series, Tattoo Rescue.
times for months at a time, filming for Tattoo Rescue. For such times, I have to put on my “big girl pants” and make it all work, solo!
My newest passion is my Tattoo Shop/Retail Store. I am the proud owner/operator of Bella Arte Tattoo Co. in Fairfield, NJ. I primarily manage the shop, with the assistance of Joe throughout the year. This year was particularly trying with Joe making his way around America, some-
There is nothing I believe in more than the fact that my husband and children must come first, as we both do what we do for our children. I truly feel that this belief makes me the person I am today and, in turn, benefits me by trickling down into my dayto-day task of managing my tattoo
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Family, Shop, Home… IN THAT ORDER!
Bella Arte Tattoo is a 3,000 sq. foot shop that houses 5 private tattoo studios and 1,000 sq. feet of retail space with 800 hangers full of merchandise such as Sullen and OGABEL along with New York Hat Co. and H2Ocean Aftercare products, to name a few. These responsibilities mean long days away from home, which is a good 40 minute drive from the shop, along with making arrangements for the children and puppy during school days or when we are traveling to conventions. It is unfortunate to have to make the sacrifice, but out of all three priorities, it has to be made with the home; and, trust me…..it is happening! Someday, the home will all catch up, but until that time, I make due with the cards I have been dealt with a smile on my face, and keep a special place in my heart for those family members and friends who understand the sacrifices made are to accomplish what I have grown to love doing day in and day out. The balancing act has begun, and I think I am handling it just fine!
Louis Da Michael
You are not alone, déjà vu... by Amir Ressaissi As a follow-up piece, this article aims to put some flesh on the Happiness Theory. That is, the theory that we all want to be as happy and comfortable as possible. Obviously, there are several physical components that must be present to achieve this. To date, a tremendous amount of work has already been done in the ‘sustainability’ field. Through the lens of The Happiness Theory, sustainability can be defined as the ability for a group of people to stay happy and comfortable without the degradation of the environment. In a more tangible way, this means that humans need to be able to use natural resources without destroying those resources in the process. In effect, a closed-loop system where the resource is virtually the same after it has been used as before it was used.
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Let us take water as the first component for a happy life, and examine how the water system could become sustainable. Water is actually one of the easiest components to have as a closed-loop system. We can test the water when it goes into the pipes of a house, industry, or business and we can test it when it comes out. Whatever happens to the water at a certain location should be rectified at that location, or at least somewhere nearby. For households, the most obvious problem is human waste, but there are great technological solutions to this problem that rarely see the light of day. Each house could be equipped with a shredder and dryer that could make human waste into dry pellets for burning. Each house, or each community, could have compost which again could produce methane for burning. Mycelium, the webbed fungus, has been shown to naturally clean dirty water. Industries and businesses possibly have other waste-water issues to deal with, but again there are smart solutions to their problems as well; and, if there are not, then we need to rethink how the water is used. By combining already functioning methods used at large water-treatment plants and tomorrow’s technological innovations, we would easily be able to create a sustainable water system. Additionally, targeted R&D would allow for more automation in the future, leading to less time spent on worrying about clean water. Next on the list is food. A combination of private gardens, community gardens, and medium-size gardens can produce large amounts of food. Universal agricultural education is vital and city planning must allow for all scales of
gardens to co-exist. Diversification of produce and proper agricultural stewardship should allow for soil replenishment so food can be produced without any long-lasting effects on the environment. Of course, we would also have to sacrifice some of our most unsustainable foods and be careful about over-consumption. Again, done in the right way, good healthy food should not be as hard to come by as it is today. We work too hard to get so little in return. Who would have thought that someone could work 12 hours a day and still not afford a healthy meal? There are still hundreds of problems to solve. Yet, by making human and societal happiness the focal point, we can find (and have found) amazing solutions - solutions that free up time, solutions that make life easier, solutions that are sustainable. If you were tasked to build a self-sustainable house, which smart innovations would you put into it? Why can’t we have those innovations in every building? Imagine living in a house which pretty much runs itself, where your current household chores become your job. What, you say, would we do with all that free time? Create! Again, I say to you, dear reader, you are not alone. In this new world view, we just want everyone to live as happy as possible and as comfortable as possible. Collaboration, open source, and sharing are already starting to take the place of profit, money, and banks. With hacker and maker spaces flourishing, with local and urban farms booming, we just need a critical mass of people to believe that there are others like them out there. You are not alone!
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YADIRA
Yadira
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My name is Yadira, I am a 34 year old mother of two amazing children. I was born and raised in Paterson, NJ. Do not let my looks fool you, I may look mean, but I am not, I am actually pretty easy going, I love to have fun, joke around, and can be very sarcastic at times; but, I know when to tone it down and be serious. I see myself as a selfless person. I always try to make sure everyone around me is taken care of and happy. Aside from spending time with my children, family, and working, I have a very bad shoe addiction. Last I counted, the shoes totaled over 80 pairs, which I think is not too bad, but like I said, it is an addiction… Over the past 12 years, I have worked in the mortgage industry and just recently graduated from bartending school, I enjoy meeting new people and I figured bartending is something else I can do in my spare time, not that I have much with two kids… I got my first tattoo at the age of 16 and I must say I do regret it… not what it is, but where it is, and definitely the place where I went to get it. You would think I would be covered in tattoos since my best friend is the owner of a tattoo shop, but I am not, I met Joe, or as many people know him now, Joey Tattoo, when I was 19, and he has done all of my tattoos and piercings since my first. The exception to this rule would be my foot, which was done by Ruler when he worked at Joe’s shop in Secaucus. 28
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I do not want just anything on my body, it needs to mean or represent something. I obviously have my children’s names on me, and plan on adding my mother’s name. A representation of my mom would be my way of showing her how much she means to me. Besides my children, she is the reason I am who I am today. My back is a work in progress, but it is my favorite thus far. Joe at Bella Arte Tattoo did it free hand. Right now, I am working on a few other pieces, the first of which will be a mother/daughter piece with my 17 year old. Yes, I am sure many people will have an opinion about bringing my daughter for a tattoo, but I never pay attention to negative comments, I would rather be the one who takes her to a good, clean tattoo shop, not to mention to someone I trust, rather than having her sneak off and get a tattoo, and later regretting it like I did. My daughter is very excited, and she is already planning her next few pieces; but, I am making sure she thinks about what she wants and what they mean to her before she makes any commitments, I do not want her to get something just to fit in and be like everyone else. Tattoos are meant to be beautiful. For some people, the images tell a story of what people were going through at some point in their lives, while for others, the ink is a collection of amazing pieces of art that will be with them forever.
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Louis Da Michael
Marijuana Laws: Time for a Change by Frederick DeFrance
The following article, although current with statistics, is a bit outdated in terms of certain information, as 2 more states in the union have voted on making marijuana legal. The vote actually took place in November 2012 in Colorado and Washington, with passing voting percentages of 54% and 55% respectively. Colorado and Washington are among 18 states that currently have legalized the use of medical marijuana, but they are the only 2 states to have legalized pot for recreational use as well. Marijuana will have the same stipulations as alcohol when it comes to legal age of consumption (21), driving while intoxicated or under the influence, disorder-
ly persons (as if anyone acts disorderly after having a toke), etc. In Colorado, a single person is allowed to grow up to 6 plants for personal use, and not for resale, while in Washington people have to go to state regulated and licensed stores or cafes. With the masses pushing the legalization issue more and more these days, it seems like we are getting closer to an end result of nationwide legalization of marijuana. These new votes and decriminalization in 2 more states show that the efforts are being made, both for industrial purposes and economic purposes, to get marijuana legalized in our entire union.
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Louis Da Michael
Since 1990, nearly 5.9 million Americans have been arrested on marijuana charges, a greater number than the entire populations of Alaska, Delaware, the District of Columbia, Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming combined. Marijuana laws in the U.S. are far too harsh for a substance that has less adverse effects than alcohol. It is seen on the news almost daily, how many tragedies there are in this country due to drunk driving; and, they keep occurring just as frequently. The laws against marijuana are, simply stated, outdated. These legislatures should be adjusted not only because of the effects of marijuana compared to alcohol and tobacco, but also due to the revenue marijuana could generate as a cash crop, and the positive effects on society for decriminalization of this drug. Marijuana is commonly referred to as a “gateway drug” because it is said to be a starting point for becoming avid drug users or addicts, and the term is used by many officials when discussing the decriminalization of marijuana. A study done by the U.S. government, National Institute on Drug Abuse Bureau of Mortality Statistics, however, shows that annually reported American deaths caused by drugs were as follows; Tobacco- 400,000, Alcohol100,000, Legal Drugs- 20,000, Illegal Drugs (not including marijuana)- 15,000, Caffeine- 2,000, Aspirin- 500, and Marijuana- 0. That is 500,000 Americans dying annually due to tobacco use and consumption of alcohol, arthritis, Cachexia, cancer, Crohn’s Disease, epilepsy, completely legal substances. glaucoma, migraines, Multiple Sclerosis, nausea, pain, spasticity, and Wasting Syndrome as treatable condiWhen deaths start to add up to such an extreme num- tions with the use of marijuana. With those facts being ber, the argument should start to compel people to look presented, there are still few states in this country that at the facts of the products we distribute, and advertise, offer some form of medical marijuana. The fact remains in this country. Marijuana is essentially like alcohol dur- then that even if decriminalization will take time and efing the prohibition era, and the ban needs to be lifted for fort, which it will, it is necessary to stop this prohibition. the benefit of people in this country. In a 1997 UCLA School of Medicine study conducted on 243 marijuana To estimate a reasonable price for marijuana, one would smokers over an 8-year period, reported that heavy, ha- have to compare it to the price of the major competbitual marijuana smokers did not exhibit any significant ing intoxicant, alcohol. First, one would have to take lung function compared with those who never smoked into consideration that one joint could be equivalent to marijuana. When used properly, “medical marijuana” is 2-4 12-oz beers, or one third to two thirds of a bottle an excellent medicine for reducing the nausea associ- of wine. According to several sources, it is assumed ated with various medical conditions and treatments in- that the tax on marijuana would be about $.50-$1.00 cluding, chronic pain and swelling, and even intraocular per joint. Assuming the mean consumption of all daily pressure in glaucoma patients. Cancer patients have users is 2 or 3 joints per day, current national consumpbeen recognized most commonly as recipients of medi- tion can be figured to exceed 7 to 10 million joints per cal marijuana due to the severity of the chemotherapy day, or 1200-1800 metric tons of 6% THC cannabis process. The U.S. Government Accountability Office per year. These numbers were also figured out based (GAO) noted Alzheimer’s disease, anorexia, AIDS/HIV, on underestimation of smokers at the time. The aver-
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age marijuana user consumes approximately three joints a day, and if prices were about $2 per joint, that would be over $2000 per year per person. The estimated revenue approximation from joints sold legally is $3.2 billion to $6.4 billion per year, with taxes coming out to around $2.2 billion to $6.4 billion per year (based on the comparable revenues currently raised through the federal tax on alcohol: $8 billion, and cigarettes: $5 billion). Also, hemp is the non-psychoactive version of cannabis that could be used to make fashionable clothing, or simply incense and candles, and could generate revenue. Another way to get the effects of marijuana without smoking the plant is through the use of baked goods. When cooked properly, the psychoactive ingredient THC can still be absorbed within the body and the effects of the cannabis plant will still be active. With these numbers just being an estimation of the potential revenue marijuana could generate as a cash crop, it seems like a “nobrainer” to help the economy. Society also needs marijuana to be legalized because of the adverse conditions it takes to get the drug. We must come to the realization that when people really want marijuana, they will find it. Typically, most Americans only know what they see on television as “accurate” descriptions of dealing with drug dealers or buying drugs illegally. Although more cases than not depict a shady setting, perhaps in an alley or street corner, most people that purchase marijuana illegally do not have to go through such processes. What viewers see on television can be completely taken out of the thought process of people through the de-
criminalization of marijuana. If there are certain distribution centers (dispensaries), stores, cafes, etc. there will be no more need for the common “street dealer.” Because millions of Americans smoke marijuana daily, it is clear that although the substance is illegal and considered a dangerous hallucinogen, people will still seek it out and find it. By eliminating drug dealers, crime rates could then be lowered, and over crowdedness in prisons could end. It has been stated that, “Taken together, the total number of marijuana arrests for 2000 far exceeded the combined number of arrests for violent crimes, including murder, manslaughter, forcible rape, robbery and aggravated assault.” Since 2000, this number has only risen in the cases of marijuana related arrests. Marijuana does not cause aggression, it does not cause
violent behavior, and it is not killing the people of this country like legal items such as alcohol and tobacco which are consumed millions of times daily. There seems to be turmoil left behind from the ‘60s and ’70s cultural war when the irresponsibility of some early users, saddled the next several generations, with the general notion that marijuana users were not good citizens and their lifestyles did not produce healthy communities and families. These are common misconceptions about marijuana use that make legalizing this plant difficult in a world where it has now been proven beneficial for various ailments. Legalization of marijuana will, in few instances, increase some irresponsible behavior, just as alcohol does. There is no doubt that there will still
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be those few people who will potentially abuse this substance, but abusing marijuana would not result in the same consequences abuse of alcohol produces. Marijuana should be treated as such, with the same penalties there are for alcohol abuse, i.e. drinking and driving, drunk and disorderly, etc., when a person is arrested or arraigned on such charges. There is no advocacy for being able to use marijuana and drive, or for any ill-conceived behavior while under the influence. Marijuana users are generally not aggressive while under the influence, therefore it is not predicted to raise crime rates of the sort when used as directed either medicinally or by law. Another way putting together the proper legislature for marijuana could help this country would be our seemingly never-ending deficit. The
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federal government spends at least $10 billion per year specifically on marijuana prohibition. An approximation for how much this country could possibly gain is in the area of $6.2 billion per year if marijuana were taxed like alcohol. These numbers show that the savings from ending the marijuana prohibition could heavily outweigh any possible harm. The idea of “just saying no� is simply expressed because there is one simple rule to enforce it: marijuana is still an illegal substance. However, parents should be shown alternative methods for keeping their children away from marijuana; such as science based drug education. As long as marijuana remains illegal, that is all parents will continue to preach to their children when asked about drugs and the effects of marijuana. There needs to be a clear cut, deci-
sive action taken in this country that ends this madness that is the marijuana prohibition. With all the scientific evidence out there, the end of this war on marijuana has to be in sight for all the liberal and conservative representatives alike. The truth cannot be hidden when it is now in plain sight. The main reason officials and lawmakers are against legalizing marijuana is because they feel there has not been enough extensive research to show that the positive effects of marijuana outweigh the negative. However, through clear cut-and-dry medical evidence and government studies, the facts are right in front of everyone’s faces. Lawmakers of this country need to stop being so close-minded to the fact that marijuana, plainly put, can help improve various aspects of this great nation. The facts are out there, researchers are doing what is necessary to make sure the distribution and use of marijuana can be done so in a manner that is conducive to the well-being of individuals who choose to partake. We have legal drugs that are still being sold on the streets illegally, killing thousands annually and individuals can overdose on almost any prescription, over the counter medicine, or illegal drug out there. Yet, can people overdose on marijuana? The answer is emphatically, and most definitely, no, people cannot overdose on marijuana. Therefore, the laws and legislatures should be adjusted accordingly in this country to allow for marijuana to be distributed legally and cautiously.
Reality Check by Ken Jamieson “This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.” – Morpheus in The Matrix Gather around guys and girls, it is time for a red pill reality check. You have been fed a line of bullshit and told it will make you happy, but it has not been working. We are awash in unhappy, bored, drama queens and frustrated, confused beta males. That line of bullshit that started all of this? The idea was that males and females are the same deep down, and that we only seem different because of “society.” I am not talking about legal equality which I think we can all get behind. I mean the crazy notion that after about 200,000 years of evolution, males and females have no significant differences in how we think, form relationships, or view the world. It is a lie and you know it. Not only are we all supposed to be the same, but we are all supposed to be women. Not women as they actually are, of course, but a twisted version of them. The traits of masculinity and femininity are all but defined as a psychological disorder. Guys who don’t cry? Emotionally repressed. Girls that keep themselves in shape to look attractive? Tsk tsk, you can’t mean that, you must have “body issues!” Just say it’s to be “healthy.” Guys who have clear ideas on what they find “hot” and only pursue those girls? Obviously some sort of un-evolved caveman who cannot see “the beauty inside.” And of course, there is the cardinal female 40
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sin, admitting that maybe you like it when your partner makes most of the decisions... that you like feeling protected and cared for. Let’s say you do it, male and female alike, you suppress and reshape yourself to meet these “feminist” ideals. Obviously, your conformity is rewarded with fun, love, sex, and companionship... right? Of course not. Men like that are taken advantage of, and women like that see the only men they are actually attracted to pass them by for someone else. There is no better example of this paradox than the “beta orbiter.” The kind of guy who spends a lot of time around a girl he desires, doing everything she asks and trying to be everything she says she desires. As a beta orbiter, you make sure you are always there when she needs you, the “nice” guy, the friendly shoulder to cry on. You never make demands of her. You never make her feel uncomfortable, or that she needs to do anything but “be herself” for you to think she is awesome. Surely this is the way to win her right? Wrong. She will step over you on her way out with some alpha Neanderthal throwback, but only after you helped put together that new IKEA bed frame you hauled up her stairs. The bed that Neanderthal will be nailing her on that night while you masturbate to internet porn of guys doing the kinds of things you wish you were doing to her. That’s the stuff Neanderthal is doing, by the way. Don’t worry though, after he dumps her she will call you and you can tell her it isn’t her fault. Of course, the next time he calls she will do it all again. Not everyone is a beta orbiter of course, but almost everyone can relate to the core problem... you are doing what you’re supposed to be doing, and getting shit on for it.
In these columns (assuming they let me write here again after the inevitable hate mail) I will lay out for you a way to break out of this conflict, another way to live. Male and female, alike, you can get so much more of what you really want, and have a lot more fun doing it. Note: I will be using the terms like men and women to speak of the masculine and feminine. I do that because most times they are the same. If you are a butch lesbian who likes femme’s? The same principles I lay out for “men” will apply. Are you a gay male looking for a particularly masculine partner? Consider my advice for “women.” You get the idea. Until next time, I have homework for you. Read The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. There is an old movie available as well, half credit if you only watch that, and skip the book. Oh, and all you beta orbiters? (If you’re not sure if you are one, ask your friends.) Just stop it. She isn’t ever going to bang you till you man the f* up.
David Allen - self portrait
Belvedere
J
ust this morning, in this very same motel room, I dreamt of him. For some reason, I felt Gale’s presence in the dream too, unless I was experiencing it through her eyes – I’m not sure. I was naked and strapped down to a flat surface that felt soft, leathery and moist. The room was so dark that I could not see where it ended, or whether or not there were even walls. Everything appeared shadowed and shrouded in darkness, and it made the space around me feel vast and endless, almost as though I was floating in the ocean at night; but, the water was calm and motionless. The only light in this room emanated from the ceiling – not on it, but through it, as though the ceiling itself was translucent. The texture of the ceiling resembled a layer of flesh that was being stretched tightly like a drum, almost to the point of breaking. From the corners of the ceiling, and then from all sides, came a black
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fluid that pooled into the center of the skin, forming a mass of swirling liquid, filling the space directly above my head. The fluid seeped in slowly at first, but then continued to flow rapidly, stretching and concaving the ceiling as all of its weight accumulated towards the middle. I watched, absolutely mortified, as the fluid gained in mass above me, and then began to sag and stretch down, inching closer and closer to where I was lying. I was expecting it to break eventually, and drop whatever fluid this was all over my naked body; but, it did not break. The skin continued to stretch, like a balloon filling with water, expanding as it lowered and dipped, falling faster as it closed the gap between us. The drop now began to descend even quicker, and just as I was preparing to be drenched in the fluid, a shape started to form directly in front of me. First, it created a set of hands that pressed down from within. Then, it developed fingers stretching out-
ward, as though they were trying to reach for me. The hands curled and the fingers gnarled, but still the skin did not break, but just stretched even further, inching closer as the beast continued to construct itself behind a veil that was now paper thin. The form expanded, defying its own limits, and the shape of a face slowly began to mold. The head sloshed together as the fluid broke against itself like crashing waves, spraying droplets of its spume across the surface like black rain. The waves continued to cascade inward from all directions, merging to form a body, connecting the streams as the outlined figure creaked and moaned. The presence drew closer still, pressing downward and increasing in mass and weight until its slimy fingers were almost within range to converge with my skin. I watched motionless in horror as the finishing touches were applied to this living, liquid sculpture. The figure had
fashioned a smooth, but almost featureless face, just inches above mine. The eye sockets sunk inward to create two deep, eyeless holes; but even without eyes, its piercing stare seemed to penetrate my skull, sifting through my fears, and seeking out the one secret terror that would be my undoing. It was as though the being was searching for the precise thread to pull that would disentangle my mind and unhinge my sanity. This thought crossed my mind as a set of lips appeared, and they began to spread across the face in a grotesquely thin line before parting into a sinister grimace. The maw then wrenched open and gaped wider than any human could ever achieve, wider than even any snake. It seemed as if the very jaws of the beast had somehow unhooked and divided, forcing the mouth to separate like a chasm. The opening grew so large that it was almost wide enough to swallow me whole, and for a brief
moment, I actually thought that was exactly what it intended. Just then the entire mass began to shake and quiver, however, just like an unstable jelly mold, the liquid lapped and dispersed all over the skin in torrents, slurping and bubbling violently. The convulsing motion gave the illusion of silent, but hysterical, mad laughter; but then again, maybe it was laughing, because what happened next could only be found humorous to a nefarious beast as evil and demonic as this. The mouth finally stretched to its limit, pushing the boundaries of the material and expanding the skin beyond its threshold. Then, the membrane suddenly split open, and the black fluid surged out like a breaking dam, rushing into my face like a deluge, flooding over me with an intense force. The pressure of the burst pried my eyes open, even though I fought with every ounce of my being to keep them shut. What I saw from between
my flapping eyelids looked almost like a strobe light, as beams of pale glow penetrated the ooze in places, staining my vision with its sickly hue. Somewhere between froth and luminosity, the dark sheet of bubbles gleamed and refracted as it washed over my open eyes. My mouth was forced open too, and now the fluid instantly filled my throat, lungs, and stomach as I struggled and gasped for air. The battle, however, was frivolous, as the liquid had already won, deciding my fate as I lay helpless as a fish out of water. I wriggled with all of my might to free myself from such a deadly hold, trying in vain to break the bonds that held me steadfast, only to find that death refused to relinquish its persistent clutches‌
David Allen WWW.GRINDNJ.COM GRIND 43
Carapace by David Allen The hand that moves in me will move in you like fingers that rake through grains of sand, a solid construct of something new, a tender nerve, a swollen gland. The mold was broken long ago hence the need for something fresh, the old ideas are all forego and long forgotten is the flesh. Another beginning, a different design a call to arms, a need for legs, a slender rendering of a spine and eyes composed of wooden pegs.
David Allen - haunted
I’ve done far worse, but not much better dolls get smoother skin than this, but I’ve followed your instructions to the letter it’s the details that were all amiss. I’ve made a few adjustments of my own here and there, a memory of me, a scar, a scab, a broken bone remains of what I used to be. Thrown together to form a heap and sculpted from the useless bits, a vessel for my soul to keep a home where all my frailty fits.
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