WHO THINK
THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE THEY HAVE THEIR CHILD IN THE RIGHT SEAT.
THE ONES WHO ACTUALLY DO.
IF YOUR CHILD IS IN THE RIGHT CAR SEAT.
February is such a strange month. It is the “end” of winter and the shortest month of the year. We always look past February as we are anxious for the warmer weather, spring events (fingers crossed!) and longer days!
As we welcome the month of love, we want to remind all parents the importance of self-care and taking care of our own needs. Being a parent is a rewarding but also a challenging experience, and it’s crucial to remember to take care of ourselves so we can be the best version of ourselves for our children.
In this issue, we bring you articles and tips on self-care for parents, from mindfulness and exercise to finding alone time and staying connected with our partner. We also delve into the latest trends in child-rearing, from tech usage to positive discipline methods.
We hope that this edition will inspire and empower you to prioritize your well-being and lead a more balanced life as a parent. Happy reading!
Andrea, Josh, Ani and Evie
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Contact Us: P.O. Box 4484, Roanoke, VA 24015 540-251-1660
www.roanoke.family
Publishers
Josh & Andrea Eagan
josh@virginiafamily.com • Anika and Evelyn’s Parents
Creative Director
Tracy Fisher
tracy@virginiafamily.com • Charlotte and Evelyn’s Mom
Sales Assistants
Ani & Evie Eagan
sales@virginiafamily.com • Bauer and Chloe’s Owners
Webmaster
John Morris • COV Designs john@covdesigns.com
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Kimberly Emory • Sandi Schwartz
Susan Baldani • Leslie Butterfield Harrop
Rachel Levine • Jacqueline Moon
We welcome reader comments, submissions, and the support of advertisers.
We reserve the right to refuse or edit any materials submitted to us as we deem inappropriate for our audience. Please include a self-addressed, stamped envelope with any submission to be returned. We do not accept responsibility for unsolicited materials.
Roanoke Valley Family and www.roanoke.family are published by MoFat Publishing. Roanoke Valley Family is published monthly. The views and the opinions expressed by the writers and advertisers do not necessarily represent those of Roanoke Valley Family, its staff, or its contributors. While multiple businesses, schools, and organizations are represented in our pages, and magazines are often distributed to students according to the policies and procedures of each school district, this is not a publication coordinated or endorsed by any public or private school district, nor is it a publication with any religious or political objectives. As a mass media outlet, it is our oath and responsibility to communicate with due diligence, through our content, the plurality of views and opinions reflected in our audience of Central and Southwest Virginia. Readers are strongly encouraged to verify information with programs and businesses directly. Parents are urged to thoroughly research any decisions involving their children. Copyright 2019 by MoFat Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved. All material, including artwork, advertisements, and editorials, may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the publisher.
I Dream of Trains
by Angela Johnson
Join a young African-American boy as he dreams of leaving the cotton fields and conducting the 382 train with Casey Jones in this 2003 Gold Kite Award Winning picture book.
Almost to Freedom
by Vaunda Micheauxn NelsonIn this story nominated for the Corretta Scott King Award, follow Lindy, a young slave girl, and her family as they travel the Underground Railroad to freedom in an adventure told through the eyes of the child’s doll.
In Daddy’s Arms I am Tall: African Americans Celebrating Fathers
by Alan Schroeder
Experience this collection of twelve poems by both well-known and new authors about the joys of fatherhood and the importance of family.
I Am Rosa Parks
by Rosa Parks & James HaskinsAs told by Rosa Parks herself, relive this amazing story that sparked the civil rights movement.
The Singing Man
by Angela Shelf MedearisFollow the story of a young man, who is forced to leave his native village when he chooses to follow his dreams of singing instead of learning a practical trade.
It’s February! Punxsutawney Phil has already revealed how many more weeks of winter we will have left to endure, and love is in the air with Valentine’s Day just around the corner. But, February is also Black History Month, a time for remembrance and recognition of cultural diversity. So, in honor of that tradition, we at Growing Up in the Valley have compiled a list of books from award winning authors and illustrators that highlight the pain, beauty, and hope of this culture.
The Road to Memphis
by Mildred TaylorIn the shadow of WWII, Cassie, a black 17 year old girl, must run away to Memphis with her brother in order to escape her white persecutors.
The Great Migration: An American Story
by Jacob LawrenceIn this book, Lawrence demonstrates with artistic panels the hurried movements of African-Americans during the World Wars from the agricultural south to the industrial north.
Something on My Mind
by Nikki GrimesRevel in this anthology of poems about youth and growing up in this collection, which won the Corretta Scott King Award.
Dark Sons
by Nikki GrimesIn this innovative novel, Nikki Grimes explores relationships between fathers and sons through the eyes of the biblical Ishmael and a modern teenage boy.
Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story
by Ben CarsonThis autobiography tells the story of famous and successful Doctor Ben Carson from his difficult childhood in Detroit to his rise to fame as director of pediatric neurosurgery at John Hopkins at the young age of 33.
Elijah of Buxton
by Christopher Paul CurtisWhen eleven-year old Canada native Elijah finds out that a thief has taken the money his friend has saved to
free his enslaved family, the young boy will cross the border, risk his own freedom, and track down the robber in order to aid his friend.
Copper Sun
by Sharon DraperThe heart breaking and brutal story of a young girl torn from her village in Africa and brought to a slave plantation. There, she will have to learn how to survive in order to escape and gain back her freedom.
Malcolm X: By Any Means Necessary
by Walter Dean MyersThis biography chronicles the contentious life of controversial and prominent activist Malcolm X.
Fallen Angels
by Walter Dean MyersRichard Perry is a young African-American man trying to make his way in Harlem, New York. With no money for college, he decides to enlist in the army. But, he gets more than he signed up for when they send him to Vietnam at he beginning of the war.
The Middle Passage: White Ships, Black Cargo
by Tom FeelingsA collection of paintings and narrations that display the horrors and tragedy of slavery during the Middle Passage, the infamously named journey from Africa to America.
I Have a Dream
by Martin Luther King, Jr.Martin Luther King Jr.’s classic inspirational speech, which not only brought a nation to its feet but also rallied the civil rights movement.
“How in the world do my children own this many shoes and clothes?”
I used to ask myself this question every time I searched for a specific outfit or put away laundry.
When our family adopted a minimalist(ish) lifestyle, I knew the issue of clothing needed to be addressed for my children. Today, each child has a three-drawer dresser and a clothing rack in her closet. Prior to minimalizing, they had an abundance of clothes of various sizes, for all seasons, and shoes to last two to three years. When we went minimal, my goal became narrowing their wardrobes to a more practical amount.
I wash clothes in my house three to four times per week, and my children have freshly washed outfits readily available every few days. Technically, based on this, my kids could own only four outfits apiece and be perfectly fine. We’re not that minimal, though! I have to factor in that children enjoy sleepovers and a few nights at Mimi’s house from time to time. I also have to keep holidays and special occasions in mind.
Ultimately, I decided to keep two weeks’ worth of clothing per child per season. I went with a twoseason format of spring/summer and fall/winter to avoid keeping too much. The major problem I had when starting this process was realizing that my kids owned about sixty outfits each, and had a couple years’ worth stored for future use.
At first, I questioned my actions and feared I might regret downsizing too much. I decided to lend the clothes to my friends
by Tricia Mikesellwhose children were a couple years older than mine. This was a win-win solution, because someone could use clothing I was not using, and if I needed them back I could easily ask in the future. This freed up so much space.
My second goal was eliminating clothing my children would never wear. Itchy, ruffled items were out. Eliminating stained and torn items was easy; they’d been held onto for use as play clothes, paint clothes, and spaghetti night attire—all of which I never utilized.
Finally, I had a basic amount of clothes to sort through and pair up for two solid weeks of outfits, and a giant stack of clothes to sell and donate. Seeing so much space in the closet takes time to get used to, but feels amazing. I wash less, the kids have an easier time selecting clothes, and the free space makes cleaning a breeze. Their drawers are neat and spacious; nothing falls out when I open them. I encourage all parents who are overwhelmed with an abundance of children’s clothing to take the plunge and minimalize.
Tricia Mikesell lives in the Bonsack area with her husband, Adam, and three daughters, Avery (11), Charlotte (6), and Emma (2). She works at a memory care facility for seniors, and also runs a photography business with her husband.
Whether you’re a new parent or have had children before, it’s common to wonder what kinds of options you have for feeding your baby. You might have heard about how other parents are preparing and cooking their own purees for their children. Perhaps your parents or grandparents have mentioned that they never used store-bought baby foods either. Making your own baby food can be a challenge when you first start, but there are many benefits that make it worthwhile.
By making your own baby food, you know exactly what you are feeding your child. There is no guesswork about any “extras” that the manufacturer might have included. You also know that the food was prepared in a safe place by loving hands. You can keep an eye on nutritional values. This is even more important if your baby has specific dietary needs, but any parent can benefit from knowing how their baby’s meals were made.
For environmentally concerned parents, creating baby purees by yourself is a more
by Brittany Maderaeco-friendly option. You won’t have to worry about how much it damages the environment to ship jars of baby food from one end of the world to the other. You’ll make an even greater positive impact if you can buy most of your foods from a local farm.
Preparing and pureeing your own baby food can be less expensive than buying it prepackaged. This can be especially true during harvest time if you grow your own vegetables or know someone who is willing to share some of their home-grown produce. While it’s not always the case that you’ll save money when you make your own baby food, it can certainly be a motivating factor.
You can choose which fruits and vegetables you make into a puree. This can give your baby a wider range of flavors than would be available in the supermarket. You can also be creative with mixing flavors, such as combining fruits and vegetables into one puree. You might find that your baby will turn his or her nose up at a particular food when offered it by itself, but that same food
might become a favorite once mixed with something else.
Along that same line, making your own baby food will let your baby become accustomed to the same food your family eats. If your family eats avocados frequently, you might want to introduce them to your child, as well. However, you’d be hard-pressed to find avocado baby food in the grocery store. The same goes for many exotic fruits that your family may love to eat. By creating your own baby-friendly meals, you can prepare your new child to enjoy the meals she will likely eat in the future.
While you might be nervous about preparing your own baby food at first, remember that choosing the homemade option instead of store-bought could make a positive difference in both your life and your baby’s life. You’ll have more control over what goes into your child’s tummy, and you might even save some money along the way. These benefits are sure to outweigh the slight inconvenience of making baby food at home.
Ingredients:
1 and 1/2 cups - confectioners’ sugar
1/2 teaspoon - vanilla extract
1 teaspoon - light corn syrup
2 - 2.5 Tablespoons - room temperature water
Ingredients:
1 cup - butter
1 cup - granulated sugar
1 - large egg
2 tsp - vanilla extract
2 2/3 cups - all-purpose flour
1 ½ tsp - baking powder
½ tsp - salt
Step 1: Preheat oven to 375°. Beat butter and sugar in large bowl with electric mixer until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Beat in egg and vanilla, scraping sides occasionally, until blended. Beat in flour, baking powder and salt.
Step 2: Shape dough into balls of about 2 tablespoons. Arrange 3 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets. Flatten balls until about 1/4 inch thick and shape as desired.
Step 3: Bake 14 minutes or until edges are golden. Cool on wire rack; remove from sheets and cool completely before decorating.
Whisk the confectioners’ sugar, vanilla, corn syrup, and 2 tablespoons of water in a medium bowl. It should be quite thick. If it is too thick to stir, add 1/2 Tablespoon more water. If it is too thin, add 2 more Tablespoons of confectioners’ sugar.
You can tell the correct consistency by drizzling a little of the icing with the whisk. the ribbon of icing will hold for a few seconds before melting back into the icing. For color, add liquid or gel food coloring.
Spoon icing into small zipped plastic bags and snip off one corner to create an easy pastry bag. Use tip to outline designs on the cookie, and allow to dry slightly. Fill the cookies with icing, using a toothpick or knife to spread the icing very carefully. Add sprinkles & decorations as desired.
8 kids a day are accidentally killed or injured by FAMILY FIRE.
FAMILY FIRE is a shooting involving an improperly stored gun, often found in the home.
ENDFAMILYFIRE.org
At one time or another, every parent needs to find a babysitter for their child. You want to find a sitter that is mature, has common sense, and genuinely cares for children, but you also need to make sure your sitter knows how to keep your child safe.
“Accidents can happen at any time, especially with young children, so it is important that both the parents and the babysitter are prepared,” said Jill Lucas-Drakeford, a Carilion Clinic community health educator and the coordinator for Safe Kids Southwest Virginia.
Choosing the right babysitter is the first step in keeping your child safe, but finding someone you can trust can
be daunting. Lucas-Drakeford suggests asking a trusted source such as a relative or a close friend. And once you have a recommendation, meet with the potential sitter in advance and check their references.
“When you meet with the sitter, find out about their experience with children, but also make sure they are capable of handling an emergency situation should it arise,” Lucas-Drakeford explained. “It is also a good idea to ask if they have taken a first aid or CPR class.”
You can help prevent accidents and save your babysitter some valuable time should an emergency occur by doing some prep work before the sitter arrives at your home.
First, put together a sheet with all of the information the babysitter would
need to handle an unexpected emergency. This includes:
• Parent or guardian’s full name and cell phone number
• Children’s names and ages, as well birth dates, height, weight, and hair and eye color in case any of the children are lost
• Address of home
• Nearest intersections/directions to the house in case it is necessary for the sitter to give directions to emergency services
• Where you will be, including the name, address, phone number, and when you expect to be home
• Name and phone number of family doctor
or pediatrician.
• Emergency services number (usually 911)
• Number for National Poison Control Center: 800-222-1222
• Name and phone number of neighbors and/or close relatives. Be sure to include a few options in case some contacts are not at home.
Next, walk through each room of your house and fix any potential safety hazards. It is also a good idea to go ahead and bathe and feed your child beforehand to keep potentially dangerous activities to a minimum.
“If your sitter will be bathing your child, remind them to never leave a child unattended in the bathtub and always stay within arm’s reach,” Lucas-Drakeford cautioned. “This is important any time a child is near water, including pools, spas, and toilets.”
Once the sitter arrives, go through the house with them so they are aware of the exits and the location of the fire extinguisher and flashlights.
“It is also a good idea to test the smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors while the babysitter is there so that they will be familiar with the sound of the alarms in case they are activated,” Lucas-Drakeford noted.
If your child has any food and drug allergies or is on any special medication, make sure to go over this at length with the sitter before you leave the house. Even better, write it all down so the sitter can refer to it if needed. If the sitter is caring for an infant or toddler, make sure they know to do the following:
• Never leave a child unattended.
• Latch safety gates at the top and the bottom of the stairs.
• Always use safety straps on high chairs, changing tables, and strollers.
Never place any soft bedding, pillows, or stuffed animals in the crib with the infant.
• Put babies to sleep on their backs in a crib - not on their sides or tummies - to lower the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
• Cut food into small pieces before feeding young children and do not give any hard, round foods such as grapes, candy, or peanuts to infants and toddlers.
• Never shake a baby or young child. Even children as old as five can be seriously injured by shaking. Tell the sitter what you do to calm your baby if they won’t stop crying.
• And finally, before you walk out the door, go through a series of “what if” questions to make sure that you have covered everything. A little preparation and open discussion with your babysitter will ensure that you, your child, and the sitter all have a fun and safe day.
Accidents can happen at any time, especially with young children, so it is important that both the parents and the babysitter are prepared
Join us on a culinary journey that delves into what is traditionally considered one of the least appetizing sections of the cuisine world: baby food.
Often times, this subject is a hot topic and point of contention for new moms, who are diligently seeking the best for their teething toddlers. So, what should we be feeding our children as they make the tricky transition from breast-milk to solid food? Well, the jury’s still out, but according to The Daily Meal, mothers in the United States generally start their children on soft cereals after six months of breast feeding. Other cultures, however, have their own ideas and traditions about the best solid food starter. From seaweed to ground shrimp to yak butter tea, take a look at what’s being served up as baby food around the globe!
• The Swedes come closest to our tastes with their dietary choices for
By: Marisa Vitulliinfants as they usually serve mashed fruit and veggies. Additionally, they will sometimes feed them välling, a grainy cereal combined with canola, palm oil, and powdered milk.
• France feeds its youth foods of much heartier stock, such as warm leek soup mixed with fresh spinach and flavorful beets. As the children celebrate their first birthdays, they graduate to soft, crumbling cheeses and couscous.
• In Kenya, mothers feed their babies a local dish called ngwaci, a puree of sweet potatoes.
• Across the Saharan desert in Nigeria, six month olds are fed traditional and
adult cuisine that’s been taken to a blender and pureed. One dish commonly considered a starter meal is gbegiri, beans combined with yam flour.
• In India, children are served Khichdi, a dish of rice and veggies generously spiced with cumin, coriander, mint, and cinnamon, prepping their pallets for the fiery cuisine ahead.
• The Vietnamese pride themselves on the warm porridges and broths they feed to their kids; their soups are marinated with pork bones and fish sauce. For even more flavoring, they add ground shrimp, potatoes, butternut squash, and, if that wasn’t enough, cereal.
• High in the mountains of Tibet, babes clothed in wool are fed a paste called tsampa, which is finely ground barley flour mixed in yak butter tea.
• Over the Great Wall in China, dishes
of rice with diced fish, shredded carrots, seaweed, or soft eggs are spoonfed to children of four months old.
• In Japan, most babies are served a combination of miso soup and Okayu, a rice porridge topped with veggies, dried fish, or mashed pumpkin.
• Closer to home in Mexico and Central America, parents serve rice, beans, and soups to their little ones. Additionally, so as to encourage their infants to eat fruit, they’ve even been known to sprinkle chili powder and lime juice onto apples, pears, and oranges.
• According to Plum Organics, babies in the Dominican Republic feast on creme de habichuelas, pureed black and kidney beans, until they reach six or seven months old.
• Jamaica’s taste buds run much sweeter as parents use soft fruits like custard apples, mango, banana, papaya, and naseberry with honey to introduce infants to solid foods in addition to their daily regiment of milk.
• Finally, in the harsh cold of Alaska, the Inuits wean their children off of milk with a nine month long combination of seal blubber and seaweed.
• So, which meal is the best for your child? There truly is no right answer. Ultimately, it comes down to a matter of preference. So, the next time you are out shopping for baby food, don’t feel confined to cereal and milk. Be creative! Dig up some old family recipes! Explore your roots! The nutritional benefits might be worth the experimentation.
• Mama Maria’s
11 AM - 2 PM • 3 & under free buffet with paid adult W. Main St., Salem (540) 389-2848
• Golden Corral All Day • 3 & under free buffet with paid adult 1441 Towne Square Blvd., Roanoke (540) 563-8826
IHop 4PM-10PM • 12 & Under
All Locations
• Shoney’s All Day • 4 & under, free kids meal with adult entree purchase. Drink not included 2673 Lee Highway, Troutville (540) 992-6400
Monday
• Country Cookin’ 4 PM - Close • 10 & under, 2 children per paid adult
All Locations in Roanoke (540) 774-0199
• Famous Anthony’s
3 PM - Close • 1 child per paid adult
All Locations in Roanoke, Salem, & Vinton (540) 362-1400
• Buffalo Wild Wings
4 PM - 9 PM • 12 & under, 1 child per paid adult
All Locations (540) 725-9464
• El Rio Mexican Grill
All Day • 10 & under, 1 child per paid adult 4208 Electric Rd., Roanoke (540) 685-4343
• Firehouse Subs
All Day • 11 & under, 2 children per paid adult combo,dine in Blacksburg (540) 961-0371
• The Green Goat
All Day • 12 & under, 1 child per paid adult 802 Wiley Dr. SW, Roanoke (540) 904-6091
Tuesday
• Denny’s 4 PM - 10 PM • 12 & under,
1 child per paid adult
All Locations Roanoke & Salem (540) 389-5074
• Macado’s 4 PM - 9 PM • 12 & under, $1 child meal per paid adult
All Locations in Roanoke & Salem (540) 776-9884
• McAlister’s Deli
5 PM - Close • 2 children per paid adult 2063 Colonial Ave., Roanoke (540) 204-4407
• Town Center Tap House
All Day • 12 & under, 2 children per paid adult 90 Town Center St., Daleville (540) 591-9991
• Firehouse Subs
All Day • 12 & under, 1 child per paid adult Colonial Ave, Town Square & Salem only (540) 345-3131
• Pizza Hut
5 PM - Close • 10 & under, free buffet per paid adult
1016 Hershberger Rd., Roanoke (540) 362-3834
• Ruby Tuesday
5 PM - Close • 11 & under, 1 child per paid adult Electric Rd., Roanoke (540) 265-9301
• K&W
All Day • 12 & under, 1 child per paid adult Hershberger Rd. Roanoke (540) 563-4977
Wednesday
• Dogwood
4 PM - Close • 10 & under, per paid adult 106 E. Lee Ave., Vinton (540) 343-6549
• The Quarter
All Day • 12 & under, 1 child per paid adult
19 Salem Ave., Roanoke (540) 342-2990
Thursday
• The Roanoker
4:30 PM - Close • 10 & under, 2 children per paid adult
2522 Colonial Ave., Roanoke (540) 344-7746
• Jerry’s Family Restaurant
4 PM - Close • 6 & under, 1 child per adult meal purchase 1340 E. Washington Ave., Vinton (540) 343-4400
Friday See Everyday Deals!
Saturday
• Tokyo Express 11 AM - 3 PM • 4 & under free buffet per paid adult 1940 W Main St., Salem (540) 389-6303
• Famous Anthony’s 12 PM - Close • 1 child per adult meal
All Locations Roanoke, Salem, Vinton (540) 362-1400
Sunday
• Pizza Den
5 PM - 8:30 PM • 10 & under free buffet per paid adult buffet and drink purchase Salem (540) 389-1111
• Local Roots
5 PM -7 PM • 5 & under eat for free, discount for ages
5-7 per paid adult 1314 Grandin Rd., Roanoke (540) 206-2610
• T.G.I.Fridays
All Day • 12 & under 1 with paying adult 4869 Valley View Blvd., Roanoke (540) 362-1475
• Jimmy V’s Restaurant
All Day • 4 & under kids meal only $2.50 3403 Brandon Ave., Roanoke (540) 345-7311
• Moe’s Southwestern Grill
All Day • 1 free per paid adult
All Roanoke & Blacksburg locations
• Firehouse Subs
All Day • 12 and Under
1 free per paid adult
Keagy Road, Roanoke 540-204-4471
• Rodeo Grande
All Day • 12 and Under
1 free per paid adult Valley View, Roanoke 540-206-2296
• Lew’s Restaurant SW
All Day • 12 and Under
2 free per paid adult
Walnut Avenue, Roanoke 540-682-5925
Roanoke Valley Family Magazine publishes these deals for informational purposes only. A Listing here does not guarantee a discount at any of the mentioned restaurants. Promotions often change without notice and we recommend calling the restaurant to confirm any discount before arrival.
Jousting Pit
Fidget Ladder
Airbag Pit
Launch Tower
Arcade with prizes
Bumper cars
Flight Training Wall
NEW! American Ninja Warrior Course
Snack Bar
5 Party Rooms
That bundle of joy is home, all your friends and relatives have gushed over your newest family member, you’ve all settled in. Now what? After the initial excitement has worn down and the multiple nightly-feedings are leaving you bleary-eyed and exhausted, couples with a new baby may discover that being romantic is the last thing on the agenda.
Yet, the truth is that carving out time just for the two of you may prove more important at this time of your life than any other. Romance is a long-term investment. Children underfoot or not, you need to put in now what you hope to get back later. So whether you are first-time parents with a newborn or there are children of all ages running around your house, these tips will help you keep the romance alive and well — despite those dirty diapers and three a.m. feedings.
Heating things up between you and your partner after the baby arrives will not succeed unless you actually take the time to do it. While baby is a top priority, make the time you spend together a priority as well. If that means the dishes go unwashed after baby is asleep or that you leave work early to spend time together before the kids come home from school, then so be it. For some couples, meeting in the living room after the house is quiet for a glass of wine and a movie may be enough to spark romance. If the house is too distracting or you are both simply too tired, hiring a babysitter for a weekly date night may be the answer. However the romance is sparked between the two of you, make a date and stick to it.
Whether you are a couple with one child or five, time is precious. However busy and tired the two of you are, showing affection “just because” is an investment toward more passionate romance later on. Write a love note and slip it into his coat pocket, remember to add her favorite treat to your cart the next time you go shopping, or send texts to each other that simply say, “Hi, I love you.” Life’s priorities may have evolved, but even the simplest of gestures show that you are still each other’s number one.
Busy schedules, favorite television series, and social media often keep couples disconnected even when they are together. Yet, authentic communication is the key to keeping a relationship strong. Set aside at least ten minutes every day to simply connect with each other. During that time, silence the smartphones, keep the TV off, and sit facing each other. It might have to wait until the kids go to bed, but do not let anything come between the two of you and those ten minutes of real connection. Talk, but more importantly, listen to each other. Don’t make it a time when the big issues of family life get solved. Instead, just talk about each other’s day, dream together, laugh, and hold hands. Life can wait; these moments are just about the two of you.
Sometimes the best way to learn is by example. Think about ways you can show romance to your partner. Be the first to initiate, and don’t think that any gesture is too insignificant. Whether it’s as simple as picking up his dry cleaning or bringing her a cold drink while she watches the game and running your fingers through her hair, the smallest of gestures sends a signal that you are open for communication. Often that attitude of helpfulness opens up the door to each other’s emotions, which in turn heats up the romance between the two of you effortlessly. Show romance to your partner and watch as he eagerly reciprocates.
It might seem like an obvious one, but challenge yourselves to give each other at least one compliment a day.
Preferably, do it more often, but at least make the effort for that one. Compliments and praise immediately inject a positive feeling that carries over into the rest of your day. Give a simple word of praise for her parenting skills or a compliment on his looks. The subject doesn’t matter. Just remind your partner of how awesome you think she is.
Meal prep doesn’t have to be a rush of baby food and finger snacks, nor does it have to rely all on one partner. Turn mealtime into a romantic experience. Feed the kids something simple for dinner, and then put them to bed. After they’re asleep, go back to the kitchen together, light a few candles, pour two glasses of wine, and prepare something delicious just for the two of you. Put aside any distractions and linger over your meal. You’ll value the time to connect, and as a bonus, feel like real grownups again.
Romance doesn’t always have to occur after the kids are asleep. Make a date to meet for lunch one day before the kids come home from school. You both will enjoy the spontaneity, and the short hour will make you eager to be together again later in the day.
While the two of you love spending time together and love your little ones, the occasional guys-only golf game is a must to recharge and unwind. If your partner is overdue for some personal time, don’t hesitate to bring it up. Offer to watch the kids for a night or a Saturday morning so he can go watch a game or she can hang out with her besties. Your partner will thank you for the time to relax and will come home even more in love with you for your good nature.
Putting all your effort into heating up your romance could go to waste if you don’t feel up for the outcome. Even though you’re a parent now and might feel like you should put the kids first, don’t deny yourself regular quiet time. Whether you arrange for a babysitter to watch the little ones while you run out for a pedicure or you arrange for your partner to watch the kids while you soak in a hot bubble bath, taking care of yourself is worth it. Your renewed energy and positive attitude will benefit both your family and the life of your romance.
Keeping the romance alive as a couple, whether with a new baby or several children, is an investment in the long-term health of your relationship. Having a family comes with its own set of adjustments. The experience is certainly a learning curve, and it may take the two of you a few tries before you figure out what works for you. However, the effort it takes to fan the flame of your romance will be worth it when the two of you experience the many positive results of your connection.
Curtis Burchett, REALTOR
Designing a nursery has come a long way from yesteryear’s pink lace ruffles for girls and trains or sports décor for boys. Today, the baby’s nursery can be modern and sophisticated, whimsical in boho, or serene in muted monotones and minimalist in design. Genderneutral designs are becoming more common, allowing parents to be to get a head start on designing the perfect space for their newborn. Many think of a nursery as the baby’s space, but realistically, parents
are going to be spending a lot of time in this room, so the décor and furnishings should reflect their own individual tastes as well as suit their needs. There is plenty of time to decorate for the child when they’re a little older and have developed their own interests. Today’s furniture is often multifunctional, conserving space while still having an elegant feel. Plus, many pieces are now versatile and grow with the child, like a crib that converts to a stylish toddler or twin bed.
TRENDS TO WATCH
Metallic accents
Texture is a big trend. For warmth and coziness, choose pillows, wall hangings, rugs and blankets that are big on texture. Layer the textures for even more impact.
Take a look at these nursery ideas our team is lovingPop of Color
The nursery to the right highlights the impact a bright pop of a single color can add to a room.
Soothing Monotone
The gorgeous nursery below is made for snuggles. White doesn’t always seem like an obvious choice, but it allows for room to change accessories and add color as the child grows.
Dramatic Darks
Grey is the go-to color lately, and why not add its gorgeous deep tone to the nursery as well? Lighten the vibe with soft textures, art and plants.
A native of the area, Curtis Burchett has more than 15 years experience as full-time Realtor. He currently lives in Southwest Roanoke County with his wife and 3 kids, so he knows a thing or two about designing a nursery.
If you are anything like me, I find myself exhausted after certain times of the year: the non-stop holiday season that lasts three months, the end of the school year where recitals and award programs take up a copious amount of space on the family calendar, and even the summer months where vacations, summer camps, and swim meets are scheduled back-to-back-to-back.
So basically, I am exhausted the whole year ‘round. Of course, this is expected, being a mother of four very active and involved kiddos, yes, but who’s with me? My calendar fills up so fast it makes my head spin. I’m betting you feel my pain! Well, I have a secret antidote to the exhaustion: BOUNDARIES!
Say what? I know what you’re thinking: What are boundaries and how do they help *me* with my constant and neverending exhaustion?
Boundaries are personal rules or guidelines that you commit to in order to interact reasonably with others. Boundaries are healthy and helpful! But we’ve all known those people who push our limits and don’t respect our boundaries.
Anne Lamont said, “‘No’ is a complete sentence.” If you are struggling with saying no, learning about and perfecting your own boundaries should be a top priority and the word no adopted as your number one creed! Saying no to something can be difficult for us peoplepleasers. (I should know, trust me!) Saying no can be extremely helpful, obviously, but I am guessing that everyone already knows this. It is the act of saying no that some of us (myself included) could use some guidance on.
So how do we say no and mean it? How do we say we cannot do something and not be guilted,
manipulated, or shamed into saying yes?! That is the million-dollar question. But here are a few tips compiled fresh from a recovering people-pleaser:
Say no and mean it.
Don’t say, “Well, maybe I can (insert some way of accommodating the request here). Just stick with no. Other terms that can be substituted are: “I can’t,” “Not today,” “Sorry, that won’t work for me,” and “That won’t be possible.” Remember, there is no need to offer any additional explanation of why you can’t do ____. You don’t ever need to explain how many family
you happen to feel guilt or worry about saying no, recognize and acknowledge the thought, label it as an unhelpful thought, then tell the thought to take its place in the back of the line. Letting the guilt go can help you to be able to move forward in your practice with boundaries.
Practice makes perfect!
Don’t be disappointed if your first attempt at boundaries is a complete and total failure. Boundaries can be tricky, and they can also be fluid! The important thing is that you remember you get to choose and the choice is always yours. As you work on setting those boundaries and learning where your own line is to ensure that you don’t overextend yourself, you will fast become a boundary bombshell.
Evaluate your priorities!
members you have coming in for the holidays or why you didn’t get it together enough to bring a plate of cookies to the dance recital. Just simply say no kindly and mean it!
Let the guilt go.
This is the most difficult part of implementing boundaries — oftentimes, it’s so hard for us to let go of the expectations we have for ourselves. We must be able to learn how to not feel the imaginary guilt we think others are placing on us. How does this happen?
It’s difficult, but employing self-care and mindfulness skills to help us move beyond those thoughts that we are disappointing everyone is crucial. If
Saying yes to things you enjoy and that don’t feel like a burden is important. Volunteering is great for anyone, and pitching in is a good thing! But choosing things that bring you joy can help you identify the things and activities you want to prioritize as highly-likely to participate in. Be strategic about what you can commit to in order to make sure you keep those commitments.
As always, be kind and courteous when declining to violate your own personal limits. Anyone can be assertive and kind at the same time. We can be direct and nice all at once. When we identify our limits, practice our skills in saying no, and perfect our boundaries, we will cultivate a healthy self-care framework that values our own time, talent, and skills as much as we value others.
“‘No’ is a complete sentence.”
-Anne Lamont
by: Shannon Smith
Maybe you’ve been trying to have a baby for years, or maybe your pregnancy is a total surprise. However it happened, you are expecting your first child, and you have certain expectations and ideas about what that will be like. Maybe you expect the baby to get on schedule within his first month, or you just know you’ll breastfeed until she’s one. You have visions of your new little family taking strolls through grassy parks and posing for your holiday card photo. The truth is, motherhood can be a lot like that, but it can also be very, very different. Here are some of the things you really need to know about becoming a new mom.
You will be more tired than you ever have been before. You will understand how sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. You will be tired to the point that you’d cry if only you had the energy. Well-meaning friends and family who suggest you nap when the baby naps either don’t have kids or it’s been so long that they’ve forgotten what it’s like. It’s true, babies do sleep a lot. They also poop and spit up, which means laundry needs to be done. They also eat, which means you either need to prepare bottles or, if you’re breastfeeding, make sure you are being well-fed. Plus, you know all those tasks you need to do around your house now? They don’t disappear when the baby arrives. Expect to be more overwhelmed and exhausted than you can even begin to imagine.
Two: You will hate your significant other.
The fact is, even the best dads out there have it easier than the moms. This is especially true if you’re breastfeeding and dad can’t feed the baby, but even if you’re bottle-feeding, Mom just always seems to do more. Maybe it’s because moms know intuitively what their little one needs, or maybe it’s just nature. Whatever it is, you will do more, and you will resent your partner. You will especially resent him when he has the audacity to yawn in your presence.
Three: Breastfeeding is hard.
Breastfeeding is absolutely wonderful and an important gift to give your child. That doesn’t make it easy. Few babies come out and nurse without issue. Even when they do, Mom often experiences painful, cracked nipples. You will worry that your baby isn’t getting enough to eat. You will worry that you’re not doing it right. The good news here is that if you can get past the first eight weeks or so, breastfeeding really is easier than bottle-feeding because you don’t need to pack bottles when you travel, worry about storing cold milk, or have to prepare and wash a bunch of bottles at night.
Four: Bottle-feeding is a lot of work.
The nice part about bottle-feeding is that others can take a shift and let you sleep. That’s about the only nice part. Buying formula will put you in a bad mood because
it’s expensive. Preparing bottles will upset you because it’s a pain to get them filled with water, measure the formula, and shake them up. Washing bottles is no fun because the formula gets stuck in there, and you need a special brush to break it free. Also, it seems everyone conveniently forgets to tell you that you need to buy new nipples for the baby’s bottles as he grows older so that the flow of the nipple matches his ability.
Lest this all seem like doom and gloom, there are good, wonderful parts to motherhood, as well. If there weren’t, none of us would be here. I’ve saved the best two pieces of information for last.
Five: The hardest part only lasts eight months or so.
Sure, parenting is never easy. However, it’s not always so exhausting. A toddler and older children may challenge you mentally, but at least they let you sleep at night and have learned to feed themselves.
Six: You will never, ever know love like the love you feel for your child.
It’s a truly awesome experience that cannot be duplicated. You simply cannot know it until you live it. When you’re up feeding your little one for the fifth time in one night, try to take a deep breath and take it all in, because babyhood — the good, the bad, and the truly beautiful — is fleeting, and someday you’ll ache to have those moments back.
8 kids a day are accidentally killed or injured by FAMILY FIRE.
FAMILY FIRE is a shooting involving an improperly stored gun, often found in the home.
ENDFAMILYFIRE.org
For some time the buzz in the nutritional world has been centered on the effects of sugar. As a parent you may have tried to limit your child’s sugar intake. There seems to be much confusion surrounding what kinds of foods are okay and what is considered a healthy amount of sugar for children to consume each day. It might be surprising to know that 33% of children are considered pre-diabetic. If your family has tried to avoid sugars you know that this sneaky white substance seems to hide itself in even the most innocent-looking food products-from breakfast cereals to yogurt to fruit juice. But just how bad is sugar for our bodies? At Growing Up in the Valley, we wanted to take a closer look at the effects of sugar and what we can do to make truly healthy choices for our growing ones
By Rachel RobinsonSo what is sugar exactly? Simply put, sugar is a sweetener which is high in calories and void of nutrients. That’s right, zero nutrients to help your body grow stronger and feel better in the long run. Sugar is a simple or fast-acting carbohydrate which your body uses as energy. There are two main types of sugar. The first and often lesser of the evils is “naturally occurring sugar” which is found in fruits. This sweetness is appropriately called fructose. Conversely, “added sugars” are called such because they are indeed added during sweetening processes and do not occur naturally. Table sugar, or refined white sugar is chemically named sucrose. Do you see the pattern? Chemical names for various types of sugars end in –ose. This little tidbit can be helpful when reading nutrition labels.
Sugar has many aliases. Medical professionals at family health informational site, Familydoctor.org outline some of the names that companies use to disguise sugar. These educators encourage parents to look on nutrition labels for these terms. Here are just a few of the fifty-six names for sugar:
Brown sugar, Cane juice and cane syrup, Confectioners’ sugar, Corn sweetener and corn syrup, Dextrose, Fructose, Fruit juice concentrates, Glucose, Granulated white sugar, High-fructose corn syrup,
Honey, Invert sugar, Lactose, Maltose, Malt syrup, Molasses, Raw sugar, Sucrose, and Syrup.
Lately some sugar skeptics are saying not only is too much of the sweet stuff simply not beneficial; it may in fact be downright toxic. It’s important to know that all calories are not equal, and therein lies the problem with the idea of simply counting calories. In fact, according to Robert Lustig MD, some calories cause more disease than others and different calories are metabolized differently.
In a Nature article, researchers explain that eating sugar in excess can “wreak havoc on our liver, muck up our metabolism, impair brain function, and leave us susceptible for heart disease, diabetes and even cancer.” These same researchers have called what sugar does to the human brain something like the effect of cocaine, alcohol and other drugs. Yes, drugs!
First we need to take a sort of “Magic School Bus” look into sugar’s journey as it’s processed through our digestive system. Insulin is the hormone that regulates sugar by removing it out of the blood
quickly. Nutritionist, Dr. Eric Berg calls this a “whiplash effect” when certain organs like the pancreas are bombarded with say, 40 grams of sugar from a can of soda, for example. This causes a spike of insulin or a “sugar rush” as many of us have termed it in the past. When the sugar is taken out of the blood it is stored as fat or cholesterol. Blood sugar rises, causing insulin to rise in order to counter it, and eventually our systems become worn out and fatigued. This detrimental cycle causes low blood sugar, cravings, irritability, hyperactivity, depression, anxiety and other pre-diabetic symptoms. As the system is further damaged, blood sugar remains high, causing onset diabetes as the body is unable to lower the blood sugar. Symptoms for high blood sugar can include fatigue or brain fog. Weight gain is not the only negative effect of diabetes. Nerves in the eye, circulation in the extremities and other physical problems can occur later on as well.
Sweet taste receptors on the tongue send signals to the cerebral cortex which acts like a reward system. These chemical pathways throughout the brain can ignite happy feelings. Positive experiences or other stimuli, including food, can trigger this rewarding feeling in the brain. Your intestines also contain sugar receptors which tell your brain whether or not your body is full. Dopamine, a chemical produced and sent into overdrive by drugs, alcohol, and somewhat lesser by sugars, gives us that pleasurable feeling when we eat. This gives us an idea of why we can crave comfort foods that have “satisfied” our brains or previously brought on floods of dopamine. UCLA research explains that
per day contains about the same amount of sugar as a can of soda.
Babies and board books, like milk and cookies, are the perfect pairing. Once upon a time, storybooks were only for older children who wouldn’t tear pages, or, let’s be honest, eat the book. With the rise of board books, parents, grandparents, siblings, and friends can all share their love of books with their littlest loved ones. With beautiful pictures, funny stories, and sweet messages, board books promote both literacy and bonding (another fabulous duo like peanut butter and jelly). Based on my on-the-job research with two cutie pies of my own, these are six essential, not-to-be-missed board books to share with your new sweetie. Look for Snuggle Puppy by Sandra Boynton at Little Free Libraries around Roanoke.
You love your child with every fiber of your being. Love that deep and powerful can be hard to express, but Snuggle Puppy does it brilliantly. In Snuggle Puppy, a parent doggy serenades its puppy with a message of complete and unconditional love. This is a book you will find yourself singing aloud, not reading, and don’t be surprised if you find yourself whispering the sweet lyrics to your baby outside of storytime. You will want to share this message of love with your own snuggle puppy all the time.
by Susan Meyers
Babyhood and parenthood are beautiful, messy, challenging, and exciting adventures. Everywhere Babies celebrates babies and families in both their diversity and universality. Words and images show babies nursing, having bottles, in strollers, and in baby carriers. Parents are depicted as loving and silly, with a good dose of that first-year exhaustion. This is a marvelously relatable book that celebrates the joy and newness of babyhood and the love that binds us all together.
Silly rhymes are a siren’s song for older babies and toddlers. The classic song “Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” has been made into a fantastically silly and slightly naughty board book sure to delight. As the title says, five little monkeys jump on the bed — and despite repeated warnings from their mama and doctor to stop, they don’t listen one bit. In a silly twist, in the end it turns out the mama hasn’t learned her lesson either. This goofy book is sure to bring giggles into your bedtime routine!
by Donald Crews
It is never to early to introduce your baby to a love of cars, trucks, and trains. Freight Train is a classic Caldecott Honor book, and it deserves the hype. Vivid and bright illustrations are used to describe all the different types of cars on a train while also introducing your cutie to their colors. After exploring the train, readers get to see it start off on its journey. This is where the magic really happens, as the colors of the train start to blend and stretch. The movement of the train is visually spectacular. This is an oldie but goodie that you don’t want to miss.
With beautiful pictures, funny stories, and sweet messages, board books promote both literacy and bonding
by Bill Martin Jr. and Eric Carle
Babies are drawn to animals from a very early age. Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? is a wonderful way to teach your little one the names of different animals and colors while enjoying rhymes and beautiful art. Eric Carle’s gorgeous and bold animal collages are iconic and make this book a must-have.
Peek-a-boo is one of the first games we play with our babies. Where is Baby’s Belly Button? will take your peek-a-boo game to a whole new level. With a lift-the-flap design, babies help find a baby’s eyes, mouth, hands, and feet. It is a great way to help your little one learn the names for his or her own body parts, and babies and parents just love all the fun, interactive flaps!
Supplies
Narrow necked bottle (opening smaller than the egg, preferably glass
Peeled hard-boiled egg
Matches
Long strip of paper (shorter than the bottle)
Water or vegetable oil
Directions
1. Dip the narrow end of the egg in water or oil and take it out, shaking to free any large droplets.
2. Light the strip of paper and place it, flaming end down, completely inside the bottle.
3. Quickly place the egg, narrow end down, on the mouth of the bottle.
4. Watch as the egg is sucked into the bottle when the flame goes out.
When the paper is lit and placed inside the bottle, it heats the air, which expands and escapes past the egg (you might even see the egg wiggle a little). When the fire goes out because it has consumed all of the oxygen in the bottle, the air inside the bottle cools down. Cool air takes up less space than hot air. When the experiment began, the air outside had equal pressure to the air inside but when the fire goes out and the air begins to cool and takes up less space, it also is pushing less on the egg. This means that the air outside the egg is pushing down more than the air inside is pushing up so the egg is pushed into the bottle.
Stay clear of mold-ripened soft cheeses like brie and camembert, along with soft, blueveined cheeses like Roquefort and gorgonzola. These provide a moist atmosphere where harmful bacteria, including listeria, can grow. Although extremely rare, listeria can have devastating effects during pregnancy (leading to miscarriage, stillbirth, or severe illness in a newborn.) Stick to hard cheeses like cheddar and parmesan, or pasteurized soft cheeses like mozzarella, cottage cheese, and ricotta.
Coffee and other caffeinated drinks can still be enjoyed during pregnancy, but consumption should be kept under 200mg per day to decrease the risk of miscarriage and low birthweight. Don’t forget that tea, chocolate, energy drinks, and some cold and flu medicines also contain caffeine. Try replacing these with decaf varieties, herbal teas, fruit juices, and mineral water. A mug of instant coffee contains 100mg of caffeine. The equivalent amount of drip coffee contains 140mg of caffeine, and a mug of tea has only 75mg. Energy drinks can contain up to 80mg per cup.
Fish is great for your health, and many types can be eaten during pregnancy. However, steer clear of swordfish, marlin, or shark, as these can contain high levels of mercury and may damage the nervous system of an unborn child. For this reason, you should also limit tuna to two steaks or four cans per week. Oily fish like salmon, trout, and mackerel should only be eaten bi-weekly, as it may contain harmful pollutants. Always cook shellfish thoroughly, as raw mussels, crab, prawns, and clams can contain harmful bacteria and viruses that lead to food poisoning. Smoked fish, like salmon and trout, are considered safe to eat freely. Many women choose to avoid store-bought or restaurant sushi during pregnancy, as it’s hard to know how this has been prepared. Vegetable or cooked fish varieties provide great alternatives.
The majority of eggs are produced with good safety standards and pose very little risk of salmonella, even if raw or partially cooked (i.e. soft boiled or in mousses, soufflés, or fresh mayonnaise). If you’re unsure of the origin of your eggs (while eating out, for example) it’s best to ask for them to be thoroughly cooked until the whites and yolks are solid. While salmonella food poisoning is rare and unlikely to harm your baby, it can lead to a severe bout of diarrhea and vomiting. Goose, duck, and quail eggs should always be fully cooked.
Avoid raw or rare meat during pregnancy, as both may lead to toxoplasmosis, a symptomless, potentially damaging infection. Meat and poultry should be cooked thoroughly until steaming hot with no trace of pink or blood. Good kitchen hygiene is also important, so wash all surfaces and utensils thoroughly with an antibacterial cleaner after preparing raw meat to avoid the spread of harmful germs. Be sure to wash and dry your hands well, too.
During pregnancy, it’s important for a woman to make healthy dietary choices, both to support her own body and to protect the development of her baby. A huge range of foods can be enjoyed safely, but there are some that should be avoided or limited.
If you’re in any doubt about what’s safe to eat during pregnancy, seek medical advice to stay fully protected. Following these five simple rules is a great start to optimum health at this special time of your life.
Janaia has been working at Freedom First for 5 years now. She started working in the branches, getting to know members and finding creative ways to help them. When an opportunity arose to join the Community Development department, a team dedicated to innovating new products and services to help credit-challenged people looking for a second chance, she knew it was her calling.
Janaia’s enthusiasm for working at Freedom First knows no bounds. “I believe that I have the coolest job in the world. I never thought I’d have a job like this. I call my team the Financial Superheroes!”
Now, as a professionally certified Financial Counselor at the Roanoke Financial Empowerment Center - a partnership between Freedom First Enterprises, the City of Roanoke, and the Cities for Financial Empowerment Fund - Janaia can be a guiding force for people from all walks of life.