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What your

EXPERT ADVICE

WOBBLY How ORGASMS BITS MEAN! can relieve pain

My late mum HELPED ME FIGHT CANCER

DEBATE

Are we ever TOO OLD FOR TATTOOS? Like Adele I didn’t make up with Dad

BEFORE HE DIED

TRY THE TREND Slimming stripes

WE SHOW YOU HOW!

Kate and WiIliam

UNDER PRESSURE Expert reveals whether the Royal Family can survive

PLUS!

MAKE-UP BAG MUST HAVES £U10NDAENRD

This ISSUE I put on a dress last week, a dress, AN ACTUAL DRESS! It may have been a little snug in places, but after many weeks of ‘leisurewear’ consisting of leggings and baggy jumpers, it felt good! It got me thinking because, as we brave some normality and summer (hopefully) puts in an appearance, I want those strappy dresses to push the comfies to the back of the wardrobe. With that in mind, I am following our fitness GET 6 ISSUES expert Annie Deadman’s column OF WOMAN (p29) to the letter! She did a great MAGAZINE FOR £1* PHRAICLEF workout on the Woman Facebook page the other day. Did you see it? It’s still on there if you fancy giving it a go! Enjoy. Hannah Fernando, Editor

8 11 12 14 16 58

YOUR LIFE

23 Don’t Tell Me I Can’t… make a million! 24 Real Life My late mum helped me fight cancer 29 Feel Great Drinking… is it just about thirst? 30 Eat Well, Feel Great How to make your blood healthy 32 Real Life Our family gained three sets of twins 34 Health & Wellbeing What your wobbly bits mean! 38 Real Life We’re Facebook famous 47 Real Life The picture that means so much

YOUR TIME

Boost your health with Annie’s hydration challenge

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18 28 36 40

Let’s Shop! The great outdoors Bingo Win with us! Recipes Travel through taste Ask The Experts How orgasms can relieve pain, plus your problems 44 Travel Highlights of Japan 48 Homes Dare to go dark 50 Books, Puzzles and Starscope 54 Short Story The Alpaca Experience 56 On The Box What to watch ✱ On the cover

Woman, incorporating Woman’s Illustrated and Woman’s Mirror, is a Registered Trademark of Future plc. Cover printed by Walstead UK Limited, text printed by Walstead UK Limited. Published by Future plc, 161 Marsh Wall, London E14 9AP. Distributed by Marketforce (UK) Ltd, a Future plc company, 3rd Floor, 161 Marsh Wall, Canary Wharf, London E14 9AP. Tel: +44 (0)1225 442244. Back issues: +44(0)330 333 1113 (lines open Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm, UK time); or order at magazinesdirect.com. All prices correct at time of going to press. © Future plc, 2021. All rights reserved and reproduction without permission is strictly forbidden. We cannot be liable for the safe custody or return of any solicited material. We do not accept or return unsolicited manuscripts. If you submit material to us, you warrant that you own the material and/or have the necessary rights/permissions to supply the material and you automatically grant Future and its licensees a licence to publish your submission in whole or in part in any/all issues and/or editions of publications, in any format published worldwide and on associated websites, social media channels and associated products. We cannot take responsibility for manuscripts or photos sent in. Future plc, 161 Marsh Wall, London E14 9AP. Tel: 020 3148 5000; futureplc.com. Subscription rates: One year, 50 issues (including postage & packaging): UK £72.40; Europe €205.75; USA $134.90; rest of world £157.60. For enquiries and orders, please email: help@magazinesdirect.com. International Licensing and Syndication Woman is available for licensing and syndication. To find out more contact us at licensing@futurenet.com or view our available content at futurecontenthub.com.

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What A Week! Are Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez back on? Cover Story Kate and William: Under pressure Celebrity Dawn French: ‘I don’t people-please any more’ The Royal Insider Duncan Larcombe: I’m not buying it, Harry Celebrity Debate: Are we ever too old for tattoos? We Love Your Style Ruth Langsford Talking About… Like Adele, I didn’t make up with Dad before he died View From The Back

21 Fashion Try the trend: Slimming stripes 26 Beauty Make-up bag must-haves

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ABOUT Y O U! YOUR NEWS

WE BRING YOU THIS WEEK’S LATEST GOSSIP

Bennifer

BACK ON? H

was due to take place. But Ben, who was married to actor Jennifer Garner from 2005 to 2018, is said to have been emailing his ex as a friend since February, two months before she called off her engagement to Alex Rodriguez. A US source revealed, ‘It’s all been quick and intense, but Jennifer is happy.’ Could this be the beginning of Bennifer 2.0? We hope so!

They were once the golden couple

CELEBRITY PET of the week How cosy does Sharon Osbourne’s ball of fluff, Rocky, look? We’re jealous!

YES

60%

40%

OVER TO OU!

WE ASKED YOU ON TWITTER: After Davina McCall admitted to hiding that she was taking HRT treatment, do you struggle to speak about the menopause?

WOMAN

PHOTOS: GETTY, INSTAGRAM @SHARONOSBOURNE, @SPENCERMATTHEWS, @RUTHLANGSFORD, BACKGRID, ITV/SHUTTERSTOCK, BBC

ollywood’s noughties golden couple appear to be rekindling their relationship after a romantic getaway. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, who were known as Bennifer, spent a weekend together at a ski resort in Montana, 17 years after their split. The couple met and got engaged in 2002, but called off their wedding in 2003, four days before it

Jennifer and Ben are close once more

WILL HOLLY TRIP THE LIGHT FANTASTIC? This Morning’s Holly Willoughby has been tipped to take part in this year’s Strictly Come Dancing, much to pro dancer Giovanni Pernice’s delight. Giovanni said, ‘I would love to dance with Holly. We would have so much fun and she would do amazing.’ And betting giant Ladbrokes added, ‘Signing up Holly for Strictly would be a huge coup for the BBC.’ It seems Holly isn’t ruling out appearing either, as she previously told Giovanni, ‘I love the show, I’m a massive fan.’

MAN OF THE

MOMENT!

SPENCER MATTHEWS: The father of two, 32, shows no sign of a dad bod here!

Quote of the week

All the

LATEST GOSSIP

RUTH: ‘WORKING HELPED WITH MY GRIEF’ Presenter Ruth Ruth, with her Langsford has late sister Julia opened up about returning to work after the death of her sister, Julia, in 2019. She said, ‘I actually needed to get back to work. I wouldn’t say I looked forward to it, but I needed that structure back in my life. I needed something to get up for in the morning [so] I could shut off the grief.’

‘PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT I’M DOING NOW. THIS AFTERNOON I SAT IN A DECKCHAIR, PLOTTING WORLD DOMINATION.’

Piers Morgan is keeping busy

BILLIE: ‘I DON’T LIKE FAME’ Billie Piper has revealed that the real reason she quit Doctor Who back in 2006 was because she didn’t enjoy being a household name again after ﬁnding fame in her teens. ‘It made me really famous again in that sort of mainstream fame way that I ﬁnd really uncomfortable,’ she admitted.

DENISE POSTPONES HER WEDDING Denise Van Outen has revealed she’s pushed back her wedding to partner Eddie Boxshall, revealing that, while they’re not actually engaged, they will tie the knot in 2023. She said, ‘We’re both getting back to work and it’s ﬁnding the time, as we want it to be a big day and that takes a lot of planning. We don’t want a small wedding. We want a big group of people.’

WOMAN

Kate and Wills

UNDER PRESSURE It’s crunch time for the Cambridges, says royal biographer Duncan Larcombe mbe

he Queen will hold crunch talks with Princes Charles and William to discuss how the senior Royal Family emerges from lockdown.

High on the agenda will be how they balance the return of normal royal duties with the seismic shifts that have happened within the family since the COVID-19 pandemic struck. They will discuss how the death of the Duke of Edinburgh, the departure of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, and the continued absence of the Duke of York will impact their workload. Even if Her Majesty refuses to scale back on her duties, current demands on the Court diary are greater than ever and there is a clear void left by Harry and Meghan.

pressure if they take up all of the duties that may be expected of o them now there are fewer people to o mop up the work. William and Katee are the great hope for the future and putting pressure on them could impact all aspects of their life and that’s not something anyone is willing to risk. My source tells me, ‘Prince Charles faces a difficult dilemma over what should be added to William and Kate’s growing list of official duties. Just because the couple are willing to step up to the plate, doesn’t mean they sh hould take on everything.’ The Prince of Wales is keen to sccale back the Royal Family when he becomes king, but before then he has raised concerns about simply expecting the Cambridges to pick up the slack. William and Kate have a young family and while they have so far been willing to step into the breach, Charles is concerrned they could quickly become seriously overburdened. The COVID pandemic has given the royals b breathing space but as restrictionss are lifted it is feared Harry and M Meghan’s departure in parrticular will start to havve an impact on the work kload of others.

‘CHARLES FACES A DILEMMA’

More work for the Cambridges

According to o my palace source, the Prince of Waales is particularly concerned ab bout ‘seriously overburdeniing’ the Duke and while their Duchess of Cambridge C family is still young. He is relucctant to allow William and Kate to take t up too much of the slack, sprread themselves thin and become overexposed. He worries that they The Prince of Wales has nder a may come un expressed his concern huge amountt of 6

WOMA N

The Windsors have an ‘instinct to survive’, says Duncan One option would be to begin the process of scaling back the number and breadth of royal engagements, but the source would not be drawn on how the Queen may feel about such a move, telling me, ‘Ultimately it will be for Her Majesty to decide what, if any, changes need to be made to the royal diary. The Duke of Edinburgh’s mantra of ‘all hands on deck’ doesn’t take into account what happens when there are fewer hands.’

End in sight? News that the three most senior royals will sit down to discuss the future of the ﬁrm comes as some critics suggest the

Cover Story

‘THE ROYALS REMAIN POPULAR’ Embracing lockdown In the past year, William and Kate have seen their popularity ratings soar, but the knock-on effect is a swelling in-tray of requests from organisations and the public. Behind the scenes, William and Kate have embraced lockdown,, spending p g

The Cambridge family have enjoyed the year together

the bulk of the past year at home with the children. I understand that the Cambridges have enjoyed living in Norfolk with the peace and quiet of being able to focus on life as parents. One told me, ‘William and Catherine embraced lockdown and in many ways will have done the whole family a it w lott of good. We’ve never heard them omplain about their growing co workload because they seem to be veery focused on the job at hand, ogether as a couple.’ to But a return of normality will bring with it long periods of time away from the children. It would be vvery sad if they get so busy that they eended up looking back on the pandemic as the good old days. p

WOMAN

WORDS: DUNCAN LARCOMBE. PHOTOS: GETTY

insstitution is now entering thee ‘endgame’. W Wolf Hall and Booker-Prize winning author Dame Hilary Mantel hit the headlines after she predicted this is a sign thee family is entering its ‘last big era’. This argument underestimates one of the most important strands of the House of Windsor – their instinct to survive. The royals remain incredibly popular for an unelected family that sits at the pinnacle of British society as it has for 1,000 years. The Queen knows William has an enormous amount of public support, an excellent sign for the future of the institution. However, she too will be concerned not to place too much pressure on the Cambridges and risk burn out long before it is William’s turn to take the reins of power from his father.

‘I don’t people-please

ANY MORE’ Dawn French opens up about finally making peace with herself and talks about why she is ready for a fresh start

WORDS: ROBYN MORRIS. PHOTOS: ALAMY, ITV/SHUTTERSTOCK, KAMINSKI/XPOSUREPHOTOS.COM, TWITTER @DAWN_FRENCH

awn French has never been one to mince her words, so it might come as a surprise to learn that up until recently, she was prone to people-pleasing.

But since entering her 60s three years ago, Dawn admits she’s finally ‘settling into her skin’ and no longer cares what others think of her. ‘I’m in my stride,’ she says. The comedian, who is married to Mark Bignell, has just sold her plush Cornwall home and is ready to embrace a new chapter, which will include living a more simplistic, peaceful lifestyle.

She adds, ‘When I was a child, I remember thinking that people who were 40 just might as well die, because what was the point of them? You know when you’re a child, you think somebody who is 40 and above is just ancient and pointless.’ But the actor soon learnt that life begins at 40, explaining, ‘Of course, as you grow into your 40s, you are just starting to get to know yourself.’ Now in her 60s, rather than resenting her age, Dawn is making the most of it. ‘I’m 63 now and I feel grateful to be 63,’ she says. ‘I have many friends who didn’t make it into their 60s, so I’m very glad to be here and to be alive and kicking and doing everything I want to do, and getting to know myself more.’

‘I’M SETTLING INTO MY SKIN NOW’

‘IDawn accept myself’ says that the ageing process has finally

provided her with the self-confidence she lacked in her youth. ‘I spent a lot of my life up until now people-pleasing and trying to work out what’s required of me by others. I’m settling into my skin now,’ she told BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour podcast. ‘I kind of take some ownership of the person I genuinely am.’ And she’s even embracing the downsides to getting older. ‘It’s all about acceptance, including accepting my rather annoying arthritic knee,’ she jokes. ‘I’m not going to run a marathon. I’m not going to win Strictly, which is why I’m not going on it – because I can’t win it.’ With her daughter Billie 8

WOMAN

New beginnings While she’s well known for her award-winning TV writing, penning novels is something that Dawn only started later in life. ‘I tried not to surrender to insecurities,’ she says. ‘Novelists are people like Jane

Mark and Dawn married in 2013

Celebrity

Dawn is downsizing from her Grade IIlisted mansion Austen and Henry James, and I’m not as good as that. If I constantly measured myself by comparison to others, I wouldn’t do anything in life, so what I thought is, “I’d like to write something, let’s see if I can.”’ Proving that practice makes perfect, Dawn adds, ‘I’m getting better each time. There’s always another chapter, and I’m prepared to write a new chapter when I reach 100.’ Dawn, who shares daughter Billie with her ex-husband Sir Lenny Henry, has done much of her writing at her beloved coastal home in Fowey, Cornwall – but she’s now decided to sell up in a bid for a more private life. An insider has revealed that, after 15 years, she’s decided to relocate to a different part of Cornwall, because she’s not keen on how ‘trendy’ Fowey has become. ‘Dawn is selling up, but she’s very much staying in Cornwall,’ they revealed. ‘She just wanted a change. Dawn is low-profile and private. The fact that Fowey has recently become cool and trendy isn’t what she finds appealing per se.’ It’s likely that Dawn has downsized from the Grade II-listed property, after admitting last year that paying the mortgage on the 40-room home caused her sleepless nights. ‘I would honestly say paying the mortgage has kept me awake,’ she confessed. ‘COVID nicked my work! I’m planning to live a smaller, simpler life, I think, as the result of it. ‘I don’t know when, but I’m just going to reduce everything so that if this hits us again and again, I can survive.’ Sounds like a great plan! WOMAN

The royal

By royal biographer Duncan Larcombe

I’m not buying it, Harry

Are his claims of contentment disingenuous? f the Duke of Sussex has ﬁnally found happiness in his new life, surely it’s time he told his face. In his latest instalment of ‘the world according to Prince Harry’, the embattled royal laid bare the feelings of being stuck inside the very institution he now seems to blame for his mother’s death. And speaking on the podcast Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, Harry said he desperately wants to ‘break the cycle’ of ‘genetic pain and suffering’ caused by Prince Charles’ parenting. Ouch. Once again Harry has used his new-found platform to publicly trash his father, this time blaming him for much of what has gone wrong. Supporters of the Sussex camp praised the Duke’s ‘courage’ at speaking so candidly about his own battle with mental health since he was a child. Harry’s courage, they said, would inspire others to share their own battles with mental health. But to his detractors, this was just more of the same from a couple who seem to blame everyone else for their woes, as Harry’s critic-in-chief Piers Morgan took to Twitter to accuse the royal of being a ‘spoiled brat’. As someone who has known Prince Harry since he was an angry teenager, I think he deserves credit for how he

has faced his demons, sought help and tried to find a better way forward. The trauma of losing his mum as a child was clearly made worse by the fact he was encouraged to take the stiff-upper-lip approach, as he paraded in front of the crowds at her funeral. Hardly surprising, therefore, that these childhood horrors would come back to haunt him in later life. But if Harry believes those struggles are all in the past, that the nightmare of being in what he likened to a cross between The Truman Show and living in a zoo is over, then he is mistaken. I can barely remember a time when Harry looked and sounded so unhappy. No matter how many times he tells himself he is now free, I am yet to be convinced. If freedom means cutting yourself off from everything you once held dear, then yes, Harry has achieved a great deal. If, however, it means being able to find your own happiness and fulfilment on your own terms, then Harry and his family have a very long way still to go.

PHOTOS: GETTY

Queen of the roses

The Queen will attend her beloved Chelsea Flower Show this summer after missing the event last year because of the COVID lockdown. Her Majesty has agreed to visit the Royal Horticultural Society’s ﬂagship event, which has been postponed until September to allow for restrictions to be lifted in full.

Harry has implied that his father Charles was the cause of his misery

Fitting tribute

Plans are being put in place to make the Quee n’s Platinum Ju bilee celebrations n ext year the m ost memorable of her reign. Behin d the scenes, work is underway to e n su re the event ‘brings to gether the enti re nation and Commonw ealth as the wo rl d ’s longestserving sovere ign reaches he r 70 -year milestone’. The exact details re m ain top secret, alth ough organise rs have promised a ‘once -in-ageneration sho w’ over a fourday bank holiday w eekend in June next year. WOMAN

WORDS: KAREN EDWARDS, JACK WHITE. PHOTOS: INSTAGRAM @DAVIDBECKHAM, @BROOKLYNBECKHAM, @OFFICIAL_BLACKANDEVEN, @KERRYKATONA7

ever one to shy away from the camera, David Beckham has always been comfortable in his own skin. The football legend, 46, has been testing his sunglasses line’s newest Instagram filter while out in Miami, posing shirtless with his vast tattoo collection on show.

David proudly baring his body art won’t come as a shock to fans, who will know he has at least 67 tattoos all over his body. In fact, some experts estimate he has close to 80 designs. However, while David might have little space left for new ink work, he has been careful to map the tattoos on each side of his body, with sleeves, pecs and ribs covered equally. Many of the designs are a sign of allegiance to his wife Victoria and four children, Brooklyn, 22, Romeo, 18, Cruz, 16, and nine-year-old Harper. Recent additions have included a medium-sized religious cross on his chest and a tiny black heart on his earlobe, thought to be a tribute to Victoria, 47.

old for body art. Arguably it’s a draconian view, but it’s one that, nonetheless, he often has levelled at him. One such commentator, Johnno, said, ‘Those tattoos just look ridiculous,’ while another wrote, ‘He’s the perfect example of how badly designed tattoos [will] look terrible when you get older.’ Regardless of the negativity, David remains confident in his passion for new ink and hasn’t shown any signs of stopping the visits to go-to celebrity

Negative opinions Despite his obvious passion,

there are some fans who claim David shouldn’t be getting inked – both as a father of four and a man at his life stage – with some going even further and sharing their view that he is too

Are we ever too old for

TATTOOS?

As David Beckham shows off his inkings, Woman looks at why body art is popular for so many, no matter what their age 12

WOMAN

Celebrity

Kerry braves the tattooist’s chair and (inset) shows off her body art tattooist Mark Mahoney at his Los Angeles studio. David’s defiance mirrors that of other famous faces, such as 52-yearold Jennifer Aniston, who last year revealed a new tattoo on her inner wrist that reads ‘11 11’, and Brad Pitt, 57, who had a black silhouette of a man etched into his bicep in 2019. Both actors still enjoy picking out new, meaningful body art designs. On this side of the Atlantic, Kerry Katona also recently opted to take to the tattooist’s chair, which was her way of paying tribute to her aunt Angela, who passed away in March. Kerry opted to have a guardian angel inked onto her arm – and she says that nobody should be allowed to judge others for their appearance.

Telling a story The former Atomic Kitten singer, 40,

insists she pays no attention to those who have negative opinions about tattoos, whether on her or anyone else. Speaking to Woman, Kerry says, ‘It took me a long time to realise that other people’s opinions do not matter. This is my body and it’s my choice. Tattoos are, in my opinion, very artistic and beautiful, and for me it’s about the stories behind the tattoos. ‘On my back I have

a huge phoenix. I got it 12 years ago, and it represents me rising from the ashes and my new beginnings. ‘All of my tattoos have a meaning. I have an angel wing because I’m very spiritual, I have “Molly” on my left wrist and “Lilly” on the right. I grew up watching my mum self-harm, and having my daughters’ names there means if I ever get to the point where I feel like I want to take my own life, I’d have to cut through my children’s names. All of my tattoos mean something to me.’ While some may see tattoos as reckless, others see them as true works of art and a way to express themselves. And, in 2021, people of all ages are proving that getting inked really doesn’t – and shouldn’t – have an age limit. On other people’s attitudes, Kerry adds, ‘I’ve got about 14 tattoos – I’m covered in them – but that doesn’t mean I’m not a nice person or that I’m not intelligent or that I’m not educated or that I’m a bad mother. You should never judge anybody by their appearance.’ And we couldn’t agree more! WOMAN

PHOTOS: GETTY, SHUTTERSTOCK, ALAMY

your

SUBTLE SPARKLE

Jazzing up an all-black combination at a BAFTA tribute evening, TV presenter Ruth, 61, adds small touches of sparkle with her earrings, bracelets and clutch. 14

WOMAN

BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL

On the set of ITV’s This Morning, the ever-stylish Ruth looks fresh, conﬁdent and glowing in a cornﬂower-blue dress and nude heels.

WORKING WOMAN

This monochrome outﬁt makes a powerful statement, but her top’s bejewelled neckline softens the look and brings a touch of glamour.

STYLE

BUSINESS AS USUAL

The Loose Women anchor makes dressing for the job look easy, pairing a simple white shirt with a pinstriped pencil skirt. The red heels add the perfect pop of colour.

uth

RED-CARPET STUNNER

UNDERSTATED GLAMOUR

At last year’s National Television Awards, this ﬁgure-hugging statement gown with open-shoulder detail wowed photographers.

Rocking an asymmetric neckline with a pair of splendidly oversized earrings, it’s the shoes peeping out from Ruth’s hemline that give the star top-to-toe glitz. WOMAN

Should we always

FORGET? Reconciling with a relative before it’s ‘too late’ can help some people let go of guilt and regret. But not everyone feels the same

hether it’s a parent, child or sibling, most families will have experience of what it’s like when not everyone gets along. But, while an argument can drag on for weeks, months or even years, it’s only when someone passes away and the chance of reconciliation has finally disappeared that it can really hit home.

Singer Adele reportedly did not make peace with her father Mark Evans before he died earlier this month at the age of 57. Mark walked out on his family when Adele was three, and had been quoted as saying his drinking made him a ‘rotten father’ during her childhood. Though the pair supposedly made efforts to make up over the years, as Adele’s stardom grew, their relationship was said to have become irreparable. In 2013, Mark announced he had bowel cancer and feared he’d never meet his grandson Angelo, now eight, if the disease was to claim his life. It’s not clear exactly what happened between Adele and her dad – and, ultimately, it was her decision whether to reconcile or stay estranged. But unresolved conflicts can be difficult to process, especially when that person has gone and you’ll never have the opportunity to talk to them again. Woman talks to one reader who never made amends with her father before he died. 16

WOMAN

‘I GAVE HIM MORE CHANCES THAN HE DESERVED’ Jen Mellor, 40, is a blogger and lives in Nottingham with her partner, 50, and her son, 15. I was five when my dad Bill stopped coming to see me. He and my mother had split, and while at first I’d see him at weekends, that soon petered out. As I grew up, all I had left were photos. I’d been too young to remember any time spent with him, although I took comfort from the fact that in the photos he looked like a doting father. My mum met a new partner when I was 13 and, while I didn’t call my stepfather ‘dad’, that’s how I saw him. If I needed anything, I could go to him for his advice and support, and he made me feel loved in a way my dad never had. But as I got older, I was curious. Strangely, I didn’t resent Dad for leaving

us all those years ago, but I did want to know more about who he was. I waited until 2000, when I was 20, to reach out to him, sending a letter to the divorce solicitor he’d used and asking them to pass it on to him. To my surprise, he replied, and for a while we sent letters back and forth. I discovered that he had a new family, but he did express an interest in meeting up. Seeing my dad again for the first time in 15 years was strange – he looked and sounded like a stranger. I knew nothing about him and, while he asked me questions and we chatted about my life, he was very guarded over the details of his own. We began sending birthday and Christmas cards, and I’d send him a gift on Father’s Day. In November 2005, my son was born.

‘HE WAS VERY GUARDED’

Talking About

‘ONCE SOMEONE IS GONE, LET IT GO’

Woman’s agony aunt Suzie Hayman says: Endings are always hard. Many of us prefer to swerve difficult conversations or confrontations, so it’s natural to avoid a meeting, especially when you know this particular contact may be your last. We put it off, and sometimes – with or without warning – it’s too late and we may be left with terrible guilt and regret. That’s why counsellors tend to advise not letting pride stand in your way and going ahead to make that connection while you still can. However, it takes two – if you don’t make the approach, and neither do they, then it’s a mutual responsibility that it never happened. It may equally be important to consider why you haven’t got in touch so far. You could’ve had very good reasons for avoiding this person, and illness or impending death won’t have changed that or made them any more acceptable or deserving of your forgiveness. Whether you wished you had or are relieved you didn’t, once someone is gone, let it go. Instead, imagine how you’d have liked the meeting to go, write it down, then burn the note and let the smoke carry away your misgivings for good.

heart attacks and his health was deteriorating. I asked them to give him a message, telling him I was thinking of him and asking if I could speak to him one last time. I didn’t want to live with the regret of not sorting things out. But he said no. Two months later, in March, Dad died. I think he must have known he didn’t have long left, but even that didn’t compel him to try to make amends. I found that really hard to accept. Dad had pushed me away until

Time running out

Over the years, I continued to send birthday and Father’s Day cards, but got nothing back. Then, in January 2019, I heard from a relative that Dad was very unwell. He’d had a series of

Jen has come to terms with her disappointment

the very end, and now I had to live with knowing that we’d never had the chance to make peace. It felt unbelievably cruel. I questioned myself over and over: did I do enough? Did I do too much? But, in time, I realised I hadn’t done anything wrong and couldn’t blame myself. I’d tried my best. I was surprised to feel relieved. For the first time in a long time, I could give my full focus to my family – the people who actually wanted me in their lives. I’ve now come to accept that Dad and I never made peace, and I’m OK with that. I gave him more chances than he deserved. I’m lucky to have a brilliant partner, son, mother and stepfather who love me, and that’s really all I could ever ask for. ✱ justaveragejen.com She can’t remem

WORDS: KARA O’NEILL. PHOTOS (MAIN POSED BY MODELS): GETTY

I told Dad and, while we saw each other sporadically and he did meet his grandson, he was more like a distant uncle to me than a dad. By 2010, our communication had become less frequent and, at our final meeting, Dad really hurt me. He told me I looked too much like my mother, and accused me of being after his money. He wouldn’t be seeing me again, he said, and he asked me not to contact him. I didn’t understand. In the time we’d been reconnecting, I’d never once asked for money or done anything to give him that impression.

ber time spent with Bill and only has photos

WOMAN

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OUTDOORS Embrace summer with practical buys in mood-boosting colours Flatter your ﬁgure with a plunge neckline

Swimsuit, £36, sizes 6-22, Next

Chair, £45, Homebase Heathcote & Ivory In the Garden Shea Butter Hand Cream, £6, Sainsbury’s 18

WOMAN

Let’s Shop! Provides SPF 15 protection from the sun

Lantern, £8, Matalan

Dress, £49.99, sizes 6-14, Mango

Outdoor cushion, £10, John Lewis & Partners

Dr Organic Hemp Oil Lip Balm, £3.99, Holland & Barrett

Daily gardening tips and tricks

Mario Badescu Facial Spray With Aloe, Herbs and Rosewater, £6.75 for 118ml, beautybay.com

The Five Minute Garden (£9.99, Pavilion), Oliver Bonas

Watering can, £9.99, Homesense Tumbler, £7 for set of 4, George at Asda Picnic set, £29.99, Homesense

COMPILED BY: EMMA WHITE

Shoes, £22.50, M&S

Plant pot, £14.99, H&M

WOMAN

Fashion

Try the Use slimming stripes to elongate and streamline your look

SUMMER STRIPES

THE CO-ORD

THE SKIRT

THE DRESS

THE BLOUSE

Embrace summer suits with tailored separates in neutral tones. Add espadrilles to make your legs appear longer.

A versatile midi skirt will take you anywhere. Tuck in a navy top for a nod to the nautical trend.

Bag a breezy shirt dress in an oversized ﬁt to keep you cool and comfortable all season long.

Make a style statement on top with an oversized collar, then team with wide-leg trousers to give the illusion of height.

Blouse, £26, sizes 6-22, Next

Top, £35, sizes s-xxl, Monsoon Blazer, £22, sizes 8-20, Matalan

Dress, £29.99, sizes xs-l, Zara

Skirt, £39, sizes 8-18, M&Co

Bag, £49.99, Mango

Jeans, £18, sizes 8-24, George at Asda

Bag, £22, Next

Sunglasses, £28, Powder at John Lewis & Partners

Earrings, £28, Oliver Bonas

Trainers, £35.99, Mango

Shoes, £39, Carvela at John Lewis & Partners

Shorts, £14, sizes 8-20, Matalan

Shoes, £39.99, H&M

Shoes, £49.50, M&S

WOMAN

COMPILED BY: EMMA WHITE

T-shirt, £8.99, sizes xs-xxl, H&M

… T ’ N A C I E M L L E T DON’T

...make a million!

Disillusioned with her day job, Palvi Harvey opted to take a big risk

andering around Disney World, Orlando, celebrating my husband Roga’s 50th birthday with our daughters, Leia, 15, and Sanaya, 14, I feel so proud I can treat them to such a special trip. As we check out the new Star Wars attractions, the girls giggle with excitement, while Roga, a huge fan of the films has a big grin stretched across his face. A luxurious holiday like this would’ve normally been well out of our budget, but it’d been a gift from my company, thanking me for all my hard work. And enjoying all of the different rides in the Floridian sunshine makes every risk that I’ve taken during the past five years worth it, a thousand times over.

In August 2015, after years working in marketing, I was bored and disillusioned with my career. I’d fallen into the job as it provided a secure wage as Roga and I brought up Leia and Sanaya, and purchased our own home. But now they were 10 and nine, and I was fed up with working long hours and missing out on so much time with them. There were two things I’d always wanted to be; a personal travel consultant and my own boss. But buying into The Travel Franchise – which would allow me to do both – had never felt like a viable option until now. ‘You’d be amazing at it,’ Roga reassured me. It was a big step, but, with his support, I thought maybe, just maybe, I could make this work. So we paid the upfront costs, which

Palvi, with her family above, took a risk and it paid off included my own website, online training, a company mentor, and access to hundreds of suppliers. Then, I started building my business, Travel Pals, running it alongside my marketing job at first, offering packages to family and friends. I’d ask them for their wishlists, where they wanted to stay, activities they wanted to do, any extras, and then I’d source the best holiday possible within their budget. It was a buzz, making dreams come true. In December 2015, I left my job to become a travel consultancy owner full time. Not having a safety net was daunting, but it freed me up to work even harder. I’d trawl through social media, and whenever family or their friends wrote that they wanted a holiday, or commented on a travel inspiration post, I’d message them with suggestions to make it happen. It was a simple, but effective tactic, and word quickly spread. I provided a personal experience for competitive prices. I’d give as many recommendations as possible, so they could get the best out of their holiday – after all, people were

WORDS: KARA O’NEILL

‘I SOLD A £46,000 PERU TRIP’

spending cash that had taken them a year or more to save. I was eager to give them as much as I could for their money. I sold holidays to Dubai, and Europe, then, in early 2017, I made my biggest sale yet – a £46,000 trip to Peru for a group of eight. Reporting my figures that month was thrilling. And the numbers kept creeping up until, by January 2020, I’d made £2 million in sales. The following month, the company treated us to that dream family Disney holiday. Launching my own travel business has changed my life. I can juggle my hours around the girls – although sometimes I have to work late or at weekends. But the satisfaction I get is immeasurable. I’m so glad I took the plunge – it was a big risk, but one I’ll never regret.

Yes, you can

BUT REMEMBER…

✱ The Travel Franchise offers a variety of packages. See the-trave l-franchise.com ✱ Speak to other franc hisees. See startupdonut.co.uk/se t-up-a-business/ buy-a-franchise ✱ Franchisees are selfemployed, so make sure you’re registe red with HMRC. Visit nationalcareers.s ervice.gov.uk/ job-profiles/franchise-o wner WOMAN

Mum’s legacy helped me

FIGHT MY OWN BATTLE

Laura Oakes was determined to follow her mum’s example when she received her own devastating news

listened to the words my mum, Dinny, was saying but I couldn’t take them in. She’d already had breast cancer once and doctors had told her she was better. How could it have come back? It was November 2002, and although I was 19 now, the memory of her initial diagnosis eight years before was still fresh in my mind.

I’d only been 11 at the time, my younger sister Jess was nine and our older sister, Kate, 21. Jess and I, in particular, hadn’t really understood the seriousness of her illness, partly thanks to her amazingly positive attitude from the start. It had been just the four of us since Mum and Dad divorced five years before, and when she was diagnosed, she promised she wasn’t going to leave us. Rather than letting cancer rule her life,

she got on with things in the best way she knew how – running her own shop, working for the local radio station and looking after us three girls. And although she must have had days when she felt utterly exhausted and sick from treatment, she rarely let us see it. In the years that followed, Mum had regular treatment, lost her hair and underwent a double mastectomy – and then, eventually, she was told there was no sign of cancer left.

Precious years But now, it was back, and this time

doctors told her that she only had one year left to live. Most people would have given up and let grief and fear consume them, but Mum just shook her head and told us she wasn’t going anywhere. And, sure enough, she stayed true to her word. She was still with us later that year when Kate had her daughter Mia, and I’d never seen Mum so happy, holding her first grandchild. In fact being ‘Nonna’, as she was known, gave her a new lease of life, and she loved looking after Mia and, later, Elliot, whenever she could. As she played with Mia on the floor, or rocked her to sleep, you’d never have known that Mum was so ill.

Dinny lived to see Laura’s wedding day in 2014 She was thrilled when I brought my new partner, Michael, home to meet her, too. She loved being with her family and seeing it grow. When another year passed, and then another and another, we started to believe that Mum was reigning victorious over her cancer. But it was a false sense of security because in 2013 she started feeling unstable on her feet and kept falling over. And, to our horror, tests revealed the cancer had now spread to her brain. My sisters and I were distraught, but despite the terrible news, Mum still didn’t let it get her down, determined to live as much of her life as possible. She just didn’t want to waste a second of time wallowing or feeling sorry for herself. She did charity talks and volunteered to read to blind people. And when Michael and I got married in September 2014, although she was struggling that day, Mum looked beautiful in a red

‘SHE DIDN’T WASTE A SECOND’

Laura with her mum Dinny in 1986 24

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Real Life to Mum, despite her positivity. She lost her hair and weight, and was in bed a lot. I didn’t know if I was strong enough to go through it. But I was determined to take my inspiration from her, and to deal with this with the same positivity as she had. My treatment started almost immediately. In March 2019, I had a lumpectomy to remove the cancer. Once that was done, we started IVF in the hope of harvesting some embryos to freeze, as doctors had warned the treatment could affect my fertility.

Gruelling treatment On 1 June, I started the first of six rounds

Staying positive: Laura after chemo

polka-dot dress. But behind her smile and positivity, Mum was getting weaker. Jess, Kate and I were with her as much as we could be at the end. But finally, 13 years after she was told she only had a year left, in November 2015, Mum died at home, with all of us around her. For weeks afterwards, I felt consumed by my grief and didn’t know how to go on without Mum. When I found out I was pregnant a year later, Michael and I were thrilled – but without Mum there to share it, the news felt bittersweet.

of chemotherapy, followed by 20 cycles of radiotherapy. As I lay in bed, in agony, on the days following each cycle, I finally understood what Mum had been through, and how strong she must have been to shield us from her struggle. During the periods I was feeling better, I spent as much time as I could with my family, taking Orla to the park and enjoying meals out. Then, finally, in November 2019, my treatment came to an end. Although I still have regular check-ups and I’ll need monthly injections of hormone therapy for the next three years, I’m now free of cancer. I feel so lucky, and I’m now using my experience to help others, volunteering for the charity CoppaFeel!, which educates people to check their bodies. I truly believe if it hadn’t been for Mum’s courage in how she dealt with her diagnosis and leading by example, I couldn’t have got through my own. She was my hero, and I just hope I’m making her proud.

blocked duct. I was always thorough at checking myself, even though we knew ✱ For more information, go to Mum hadn’t had the defective gene, coppafeel.org/give so her cancer wasn’t genetic. I went to see my doctor five days later and I was sent for a mammogram, ultrasound and a biopsy. For the first time, I started to feel quite worried. Surely history wasn’t going to repeat itself? When a specialist told me I had grade-three ductal breast cancer, I felt sick with fear. It was early stages, the specialist said, but it was growing quickly. Orla was still so young, I certainly wasn’t ready to leave my life behind, and I suddenly found myself drawing on an inner strength, just as Mum had done. ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ I said. The doctor explained I needed chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I’d With daughter seen what the treatment had done Orla today

WORDS: CLARE SWATMAN, RACHEL TOMPKINS

‘I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE’

Inner strength Orla was born in June 2017, and I found

myself missing Mum even more. As Orla grew, I constantly found myself wishing Mum was there, to see her take her first steps and say her first word. Then, one day, when she was 18 months old, Orla leant on me and I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my right breast. I’d been breastfeeding, so assumed it was just a

WOMAN

PRIME TIME

JUST BROWSING

Revlon ColorStay Brow Fiber Filler, £8.99, Boots, is a water- and smudgeproof gel that thickens, volumises and deﬁnes eyebrows for up to two days.

Wearing primer is always a bright idea to prevent a make-up meltdown, but when that base also offers an immediate cooling sensation, it’s a no brainer! E.l.f Mint Melt Cooling Face Primer, £8, Superdrug, has a beautifully lightweight gel texture that ensures make-up looks ﬂawless and skin feels moisturised.

ALL

GET GLAM for less

£10

AND UNDER

12 new beauty buys that are giving us all the summer feels

MELLOW YELLOW

Essie Nail Enamel in You Know the Espadrille, £7.99, Boots, is the sort of colour you might initially shy away from, but this muted mustard is beautiful on all skin tones – trust us, the proof is in the wearing.

WOMAN

PUCKER UP

Eight years in the making, Avon Revival Serum Lipstick, £10, avon.uk.com, promises to transform dry, ﬂaky lips in just seven days, with a blend of exfoliating alpha hydroxy acids and moisturising glycerine. Each of the high pigment shades beneﬁts from SPF15 to protect lips in the sun.

Beauty

HEAVEN SCENT

Soap & Glory All the Right Smoothes In-Shower Moisturiser, £7, Boots, has been scientiﬁcally proven to boost your mood – think energising grapefruit and uplifting ﬂorals. Apply to wet skin in the shower, pat dry with a towel and you and your silky-soft skin are good to go!

PICK UP STICKS

Summer make-up should be effortless. Kiko Cosmetics Mood Boost 3-in-1 All Over Stick, £9.99, kikocosmetics. com, has been designed with this in mind and can be used across lips, eyes and cheeks.

FRESH SHEETS

Face coverings aren’t going away anytime soon, but the dryness and irritation that comes with wearing them will soon dissipate with Primark’s Hydrating Half Sheet Mask, 80p. Infused with calming cucumber and hydrating hyaluronic acid, skin feels immediately soothed and softened.

HANDY CAN

‘You should be topping up your sun protection every two hours in the months between April and September,’ says dermatologist, Dr Justine Kluk. Garnier Over Make-up Super UV, £10, delivers a veil of SPF 50 in a mist that won’t disturb your make-up.

FRESHEN UP

Wake up your face with Q+A Grapefruit Cleansing Balm, £9, qandaskin.com, a zingy cleanser made from a nourishing blend of fruit and vegetable oils, cocoa butter and natural squalane. It will blast through make-up (even waterproof mascara).

LASH OUT

Prevent smudges, smears and ﬂecks with Rimmel Scandaleyes Volume On Demand Waterproof Mascara, £8.49, Boots. The supple, conditioning formula will withstand the heat and humidity of balmy summer days to prevent panda eyes.

WORDS: STEPHANIE MAYLOR. PHOTO: GETTY

HANDS UP

After the year they’ve been through, our hands deserve a little extra TLC. Essence 24/7 Hand Cream & Mask, £2.60, wilko.com, can be used as an everyday cream or overnight treatment to soften and soothe worn-looking hands.

FAUX GLOW

We love the original mousse, and now St Moriz has gone one better by adding special hues that neutralise orange, red and sallow tones in their Colour Correcting Tanning Mousse, £9.99, Boots. They’ve got a tan for every complexion too, from light to ultra dark.

WOMAN

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FEEL GREAT Here to help you, the easy way

With ﬁtness expert Annie Deadman

NEW COLUMN

Drinking... is it just about thirst? I constipation and bad breath can all be consequences, too. Muscles will also fatigue without nourishment from water, and I don’t just mean after a workout. Sometimes we think that we’re hungry when actually we have a raging thirst. The NHS recommends six to eight glasses of water per day, but we’re going to dispense with tiresome counting and take a simpler approach – a litre bottle ﬁlled up twice each day. That is our hydration challenge and we’ll view it as a valuable serum for our insides. Let’s get glugging!

INTERESTING FACT: Vasopressin is a hormone that plays a key role in maintaining the ﬂuid cushioning between cells. Its secretion is higher at night and therefore if you have a bad night’s sleep, your hydration can be affected. Before you put the kettle on for that much-needed caffeine, try drinking 500ml of water ﬁrst thing.

MOTIVATIONAL SAYING

‘Drink some water and get some sun. You’re basically a house plant with more complicated emotions’ Give ‘WEE’ BIT OF KIT this a A may mean more trips go... Drinking lotsto ofthewater loo, and us girls never like

Shewee Flexi, £7.50, shewee.com

to be caught short. This handy device has great reviews and is perfect for festivals, days out or weeing after surgery. My daughters have high hopes for Glastonbury next year, so they’ll both be getting one of these!

WOMAN

PHOTOS: ANGELA SPAIN, GETTY. ANNIE DEADMAN IS A FITNESS COACH AND CREATOR OF THE 21 -DAY BLAST PLAN (THEBLASTPLAN.COM)

can still hear my mother declaring, when I was a child, ‘I don’t ever get thirsty,’ and almost being proud of the fact. She claimed drinking (far too many) cups of strong tea every day was enough. Today, lovely readers, as that sunshine starts to get warmer, we’re not going to talk about being parched in the Sahara, but about everyday hydration. Our bodies are 60% water (I can remember that from O-level biology) and we lose it gradually through the day – not just by sweating, but through evaporation, breathing, weeing and in our stools. So it all needs to be topped up. All those nutrients in our blood are carried along much more efficiently if we are well hydrated. Think of it as a tidal wave of goodness. If you’re parched, then everything slows down and the heart has to react to this sluggish blood ﬂow by trying to pump even faster to heave the thick blood around your body. Hence, you might notice your pulse rate rise, even when you’re seated. Cells that don’t maintain a good balance of ﬂuids can shrivel and don’t function as well, and those laughter lines become disconcertingly deep after a few hours without water. We become less alert, our concentration levels drop and lethargy sets in, possibly followed by a low mood. Headaches, nausea (I’m on a roll now!), cracked lips,

How to make your

BLOOD HEALTHY What to eat to keep this important substance in tip-top condition

he blood that ﬂows around our body plays a vital role in keeping us well – it is the hard-working transport system for oxygen, nutrients and immune cells and it also helps to remove waste. Without effective blood function we The approximate are unable to ﬁght volume of blood in an infections, repair average adult, damage, or even according to the NHS. regulate body Blood makes up temperature. Let’s around 8% of our take a look at how a body weight! healthy diet can help.

10 PINTS

Why we need healthy blood

‘Our diet and lifestyle can influence the thickness of our blood, known as its viscosity,’ says Kim Plaza, nutritional advisor at Bio-Kult (bio-kult.com). ‘A higher viscosity of blood is a risk for health conditions, such as cardiovascular disease.’ While heart and circulatory diseases cause more than a quarter of all deaths in the UK, some of these are preventable with exercise and the right diet. ‘Anaemia is also related to the health of our red blood cells,’ says Kim. The most common cause is iron deficiency. ‘A poor diet and deficiencies in vitamins A, C, D, E, B vitamins, folate and copper can also lead to anaemia and the impact of this is greater for anyone already at an increased risk of cardiovascular disease,’ says Kim.

WOMAN

TWEAK YOUR DIET

By eating well we absorb the nutrients found in wholefoods, and can effectively improve the overall health of our blood, says Kim. Try to include these in your diet. ✱ FIBRE Consuming more fibre can be extremely beneficial for our blood, says Kim. ‘The mechanisms are not completely understood, however, it is suggested that dietary fibre may improve our sensitivity to insulin, which may play a role in blood

Up your ﬁbre intake with wholemeal bread

pressure regulation and blood vessel health.’ Increase your fibre intake to 30g a day by adding wholegrain cereals and bread, wholewheat pasta and rice, legumes and fibre-rich fruit and veg, such as broccoli and berries, to your diet. ‘Some fibres, known as prebiotics, help to support our gut bacteria, which may also provide benefits to our cardiovascular health through anti-inflammatory pathways,’ adds Kim. Try a supplement with a broadspectrum live bacteria formulation,

Eat Well, Feel Great

Supplementation or fortiﬁed foods can control anaemia, but get advice from your doctor because medication may also be necessary.

Fish such as salmon is a good source of omega-3 fatty acids cooked and raw green leafy vegetables to get a range of nutrients,’ says Kim. ‘Another option is to eat red meat, which provides a different type of iron known as haem iron and is generally more easily absorbed compared to plant-based iron.’

such as Bio-Kult Advanced Multi-Strain Formulation (£9.48 for 30 capsules, bio-kult.com).

✱ OMEGA-3 OILS ‘Omega-3 oils are known anti-inflammatory fatty acids and can be found in various foods such as plants and seafood,’ says Kim. Walnuts are rich in compounds that have been shown to have a beneficial effect on high cholesterol, Spatone and oily fish is another One-A-Day good option to obtain iron omega-3 fatty acids supplement, and increase HDL £9.36, ‘good’ cholesterol. Holland & ‘If you forget which fish Barrett can be considered oily, a good trick to remember when you are shopping is to think of the acronym SMASH: salmon, mackerel, anchovies, sardines and herring,’ says Kim. The NHS advises that we eat at least two portions of fish per week, one of which should be oily.

BOOST IT!

✱ IRON-RICH FOODS Iron is essential for oxygen to bind to red blood cells, so our iron levels directly inﬂuence the amount of oxygen in our body. ‘For women, the reference nutrient intake (RNI) for iron is 14.8mg per day, which then changes to 8.7mg for women over the age of 50 years,’ says Kim. Dark green leafy vegetables, such as kale and swiss chard, are good iron-rich foods, as they provide around 1.5mg of iron per 100g. ‘Try eating a combination of both

✱ POLYPHENOLS These micronutrients occur naturally in plant-based foods and have a positive effect on blood health. ‘Eat a variety of berries because they are rich in Include chard antioxidants in your diet to including boost iron levels anthocyanins, which have been shown to improve the health of arteries by keeping them from becoming too rigid, and also to support healthy blood flow,’ says Kim. ‘Onions provide great antioxidant properties and are rich in the flavonoid quercetin, which could help decrease vascular inflammation, promoting a healthier circulation.’ IF YOU HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT YOUR HEALTH, SEE YOUR GP. WORDS: ALI HORSFALL. PHOTOS (POSED BY MODEL): GETTY

WHEN TO SEE YOUR GP

✱ SOURCES OF VITAMIN B12 This vitamin helps to keep the body’s blood cells healthy and prevent a type of anaemia called pernicious anaemia. ‘Red meat is high in vitamin B12 and opting for grass-fed red meats may support the body’s supply of energy and healthy blood cells,’ says Kim. Fortiﬁed breakfast cereals, eggs and low-fat dairy are also good sources. ‘For efficient absorption of vitamin B12, we also need sufficient stomach acid, so try taking a little apple cider vinegar in some water to naturally increase stomach acidity. This way, the B12 may be separated from its protein and allowed to be absorbed more easily in the body.’

WHAT TO AVOID!

Limit the amount of sugar and unhealthy fats such as processed meats and junk food in your diet. This will prevent arteries becoming blocked and making your blood sticky.

WOMAN

Our family gained

THREE SETS OF TWINS In just two years, Jayne Winstanley’s family trebled in size, thanks to some new arrivals

ike most young children, creating my own imaginary world with dolls was by far one of my favourite things to do. I took great pleasure in playing ‘house’, cooking and cleaning for my family and caring for my imaginary twin boys, who I named James and Joshua. Though I eventually grew out of this imaginary world, wanting a set of twins was something I carried with me into adulthood.

After meeting at university in 2004, John, then 21, and I began dating not long after. He proposed the following year and we decided on a long engagement, with

WOMAN

me pursuing a career in events and John in business analytics, before eventually marrying in 2013. Soon after, talk turned to starting our own little family and I told John how I’d always wanted twin boys. In fact, having twins was now very much on my mind because, as fate would have it, John was an identical twin. I greatly admired the relationship that he and his brother, Dave, shared. Living just a short drive away from each other, I found it endearing that even as adults, they’d

inadvertently wear similar outfits, and though Dave’s wife, Amy, and I could tell our men apart, strangers would often mix them up.

Happy coincidence By Christmas 2015, John and I had

decided to start trying for a baby and just three months later, when I was plagued by nausea, I took a test. Sure enough, it came back positive and we were both thrilled. A bump began to show almost immediately and at my 12-week scan in June the sonographer revealed I was carrying twins, having released two eggs the month I fell pregnant. John and I couldn’t believe our luck. At the 20-week scan in August 2016, we discovered that we were expecting two boys and John and I immediately decided

‘I’D ALWAYS WANTED TWIN BOYS’

Real Life Two months later, we learnt we were I would. The boys were good sleepers and again expecting boys, but carrying fell into an ideal nap and feeding twins this time round was routine fairly quickly. undeniably harder than the Then, in the new year, last. With a swollen belly, Dave, Amy and their I couldn’t pick up James daughter, Ella, then and Joshua or bend down three, had some news to bathe them. I bled of their own to share throughout, faced with us. Waving a constant sickness and baby scan picture nausea and experienced in the air, they severe abdominal and announced they were pelvic pain, which rendered expecting twins, too. Newborn: James me largely immobile. We were all so and Joshua soon Still, Jack and Joel excited, unable to believe after their birth arrived safely via Caesarean in the chances of John and Dave September 2018. After a couple each going on to have twins of of days in hospital, we returned home their own. It was such wonderful news to join James and Joshua who had been and after a relatively textbook pregnancy, staying with Dave and Amy. Still sore Amy gave birth to non-identical twins, from the op, I found caring for four tots Seth and Jake in October 2017. incredibly difficult, especially when John returned to work. Luckily, my parents After we visited the new arrivals, with moved in to help me out and I soon their blonde hair and chubby cheeks, established a good routine with all four I began to feel broody again. And in early children, feeding the younger twins in their 2018, just after James and Joshua had rocking chairs, while keeping an eye on turned one, I was overcome by a familiar the older two as they played, and I bathed sense of nausea that had accompanied my each set of twins one after the other. In last pregnancy. John and I were delighted fact, it got easier as James and Joshua got to learn that we were expecting, but when older, as they loved helping to care for my belly quickly began to swell again, their younger brothers, eager to fetch me I knew all too well what was to come. nappies, or sing a song to entertain them. At my 12-week scan, we were struck Now, they’re four, and Jack and Joel are by a severe case of deja vu when the two. They all have such a lovely bond and same sonographer couldn’t hold back are the best of friends with their cousins, her laughter, as she told us we were, too. I just hope they all remain as close once again, expecting twins. It was our as John and Dave are. family’s third set of twins in two years! I never thought I’d be lucky enough to And while I couldn’t stop beaming with have my childhood dream of having twins excitement, John looked petrified. ‘How become a reality, but I’ve been blessed will we cope?’ he worried. twice which, as far as I’m concerned, is After the initial shock wore off, he, like nothing short of a miracle. me, realised just how lucky we were to be expecting twins again and that no matter what, we would do our best for our babies.

(L-R) John with Joshua and James, Jayne with Joel and Jack, Amy with Seth, Ella, and Dave with Jake

on the names James and Joshua, just like I’d imagined when I was younger. My childhood dream was coming true and we eagerly set about painting the nursery white, buying a double buggy and plenty of toys. But the impact of carrying two babies took its toll on my body. The weight of the twins caused immense pain in my pelvis, making even rolling over in bed difficult. But when James and Joshua arrived safely via Caesarean in December 2016, the pain paled into insignificance. The boys were non-identical, and as I cradled them in my arms, I was amazed at how much Joshua looked like John and how much James looked like my dad, Keith. After a week in hospital, we returned home to start our new lives as a family of four. I relished dressing the boys in matching outfits, pushing them in their double buggy and snuggling with one in each arm on the sofa. And while I initially was apprehensive about caring for twins, I found it easier than I thought

Jayne with her second set of twins, Jack and Joel

Happy family: John and Jayne with their four boys this spring

WOMAN

WORDS: FIONA KINLOCH, LUCY LAING. PHOTOS: GARYROBERTS/WORLDWIDEFEATURES.COM

A new set

What do your

WOBBLY BITS MEAN? If you ﬁnd that you’ve put on weight during lockdown, your curves may be hiding a health concern

LOVE HANDLES

WHAT IT MEANS: YOU COULD HAVE PRE-DIABETES ‘Many people have a normal BMI, but carry weight in their mid-section,’ says says functional health coach Fran McElwaine (realhealthandwellness.com). ‘This is a sign of insulin resistance in those who are not necessarily obese. It’s usually caused by a diet too heavy in carbs.’ HOW TO FIX: Cut back on sugar and carbs (see ‘Stomach’ section), but also get moving. Just 30 minutes of exercise, ﬁve times a week reduces the risk of type 2 diabetes. Walk with a friend or walk the grandkids to school rather than driving. Speak to your GP if you’re worried about diabetes.

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for women to gain weight around their abdomen during the menopause,’ says Simon Wilkinson from body composition experts Tanita. ‘But the scientiﬁc consensus is that weight gain over the rest of your body is largely down to poor diet or lack of exercise.’ It can also reveal hidden health issues, so here’s what you need to know.

CHUNKY CALVES

WHAT IT MEANS: YOUR KIDNEYS ARE STRUGGLING ‘Storing fat well away from your mid-section is much healthier over the longer term, but thicker lower legs can be a sign of water retention, a sluggish lymph system or weakened kidneys,’ says Fran. ‘It can mean poor gut health or toxic overload.’ HOW TO FIX: ‘Eat less processed food, more leafy green veg and drink more water,’ says Fran. ‘This also supports the kidneys and helps reduce ﬂuid retention. Regular exercise and home-spa regimens can also help.’

Is fat in the family?

‘There’s no concrete evidence of a “fat gene” that can make us predisposed one way or the other,’ says Simon Wilkinson. However, genetics can determine where on your body you store fat.

BINGO WINGS

WHAT IT MEANS: YOU NEED A DETOX ‘Bingo wings are usually due to the muscles in your arms becoming ﬂabby from being under-used,’ explains Fran. ‘However, they can also be a sign of toxic build-up.’ HOW TO FIX: ‘You need to sweat more, either through hot yoga or by using infrared saunas,’ says Fran. Want to tone up? When you’re sitting at the kitchen table, place the palms of your hands on the top of the table and press them ﬁrmly downwards. Then place your hands under the table and press upwards. Try to hold these squeezes for between 10 to 20 seconds, then repeat. No one needs to notice!

IF YOU HAVE CONCERNS ABOUT YOUR HEALTH, SEE YOUR GP. *GRAZE. **STATS FROM LLOYDSPHARMACY. WORDS: FAYE M SMITH. PHOTOS (POSED BY MODELS): GETTY IMAGES/EYEEM

ove a sweet treat? You’re not alone. We’re a nation who loves to snack, with eight out of 10 Brits admittIng to snacking up to six times a day during lockdown*. But, combined with the menopause, unhealthy eating can play havoc with your body shape. ‘Hormonal changes mean it’s normal

Health & Wellbeing

49%

of Brits show at least one sign of type 2 diabetes.**

BRA-STRAP BULGE

WHAT IT MEANS: YOU MAY BE CARRYING EXCESS WEIGHT ‘Back fat can be a sign of being overweight and, like bingo wings, it can also signal we’re not exercising our muscles enough,’ says Fran. HOW TO FIX: Women should eat no more than 2,000 calories a day – and if you are trying to lose weight, the NHS recommends 500 fewer a day. Daily exercise can make a difference, too. As you’re getting ingredients together for a meal, grab a couple of cans and try this move to target shoulders, back and arms. Stand with your feet apart and arms extended straight out to the sides. Do 20 small backward circles, then 20 forward circles.

FAT AROUND YOUR STOMACH

WHAT IT MEANS: YOUR HEART IS AT RISK ‘Weight gain around the midsection is usually caused by eating a high-GI diet – sugary foods, white bread, potatoes or white rice,’ says Fran. ‘It’s associated with many health issues, including heart disease.’ HOW TO FIX: ‘Reduce your alcohol intake,’ says Fran. ‘And cut back on all sweet-tasting foods, including fruit, root veg and artiﬁcial sweeteners, as well as all starchy foods like beans and potatoes, for six to eight weeks. Then slowly add them back into your diet in this order – berries, beans and legumes, citrus fruits, starchy root veg, apples and pears, tropical fruit (bananas, pineapples, etc), potatoes, bread. You will ﬁnd your “sweet spot”, which is the carbs you can handle without spiking your blood sugar (you will know where this is, as you will quickly put on weight when you pass it).’

CHUBBY CHEEKS

WHAT IT MEANS: YOU’RE STRESSED OUT Chubby cheeks can be a sign of adrenal imbalance and the over-production of the stress hormone cortisol,’ says Fran. ‘For most people, our faces are the ﬁrst places we put on weight.’ However, puffiness could also be caused by an underactive thyroid or steroid medication. HOW TO FIX: ‘The best cure, whether chubby cheeks are stress or weight-related, is to eat well, drink more water and exercise regularly,’ says Fran. ‘Meditation, yoga and breathing exercises are all excellent at reducing cortisol levels.’

Fat types Fat around your middle is visceral, while around extremities is subcutaneous fat. ‘Some people are very good at producing subcutaneous fat and, although technically obese, their blood sugar is low and they’re pretty healthy,’ says Fran. ‘Others make visceral, metabolically active fat, which is more damaging, as it starts to produce its own hormones, mostly oestrogen, which interferes with natural hormone balance.’

WOMAN

Travel through TASTE

Easy and full of flavour, these recipes will take you to sunnier shores

Lime, vegetable and coconut curry

This Thai-inspired coconut curry uses a delicious and easily made paste for an intense hit of flavour SERVES 4 PREP 10 MINS COOK 25 MINS

Food Ed’s tip Be careful not to cook the vegetables for too long, otherwise they will lose their lovely vibrant colour and crispy texture.

FOR THE CURRY PASTE: ✱ 45g piece of fresh ginger ✱ 2 garlic cloves ✱ 1 stalk of lemongrass, trimmed ✱ 3 kaffir lime leaves ✱ 1tbsp ground coriander ✱ 1tbsp ground cumin ✱ 1tbsp chilli flakes ✱ 1tbsp coconut oil ✱ A bunch of fresh coriander FOR THE CURRY ✱ 400ml can of full-fat coconut milk ✱ 100ml vegetable stock ✱ 1tbsp demerara sugar ✱ 100g cherry tomatoes, roughly chopped ✱ 1 yellow pepper, deseeded and cut into strips ✱ 400g mixed young vegetables (sugar snap peas, green beans, long-stem broccoli, baby corn/sweetcorn, etc.) ✱ A small bunch of fresh coriander, roughly chopped ✱ Zest and juice of 1 lime ✱ Cashew nuts, to serve ✱ A bunch of spring onions, thinly sliced, to serve 1 To make the paste, peel the ginger and garlic, then

WOMAN

roughly chop them with the lemongrass. Place in a mortar and bash into a paste using the pestle. Add the lime leaves, coriander, cumin, chilli flakes and coconut oil. Pour in 1–2tbsp of warm water and mix to a paste. Roughly chop the fresh coriander, add and pound until ground down and evenly mixed. Alternatively, blitz in a food processor. 2 Preheat the oven to 180C/ Gas 4. For the curry, pour the coconut milk and stock into a deep roasting pan and stir in the curry paste and sugar. Cover with foil and cook for 15 mins. 3 Remove the roasting pan from the oven give it a good stir and add the tomatoes, pepper strips and prepared vegetables (cut the baby corn in half from top to bottom, if using). Replace the foil over the pan, return it to the oven and cook for 10 mins or so, until the vegetables are just soft but retain their bright colours. 4 Stir in the fresh coriander, lime zest and juice. Serve immediately, scattered with cashews and spring onions. Per serving: 310 cals, 23g fat (18g saturated), 13g carbohydrates

Recipes

Italian-style roast pork with white wine, garlic and fennel This is an excellent recipe for the weekend. You can leave it for hours, gently bubbling in the oven, and you will have a fantastic dish at the end of the day. Great for a slow cooker, too SERVES 8 PREP 5 MINS COOK 7 HRS 40 MINS

COMPILED BY JESSICA RANSOM.

✱ 3.2kg boneless, rolled pork shoulder ✱ 2tbsp fennel seeds ✱ 1tbsp coarse sea salt ✱ 1tsp black peppercorns ✱ 1tsp crushed dried chillies ✱ 6 large garlic cloves, roughly chopped ✱ Freshly squeezed juice of 2 lemons ✱ 2tbsp olive oil ✱ 175ml dry white wine You will need: ✱ Large roasting pan with a rack 1 Preheat the oven to 200C/Gas 6. 2 Cut deep slits in the pork skin with a sharp knife. Grind the fennel seeds, salt, peppercorns and chillies using a mortar and pestle. Add the chopped garlic and pound to a rough paste. Using your hands, smother the paste all over the pork, working it into the slits. 3 Put the pork on a wire rack and place

Food Ed’s tip Make a batch of the curry powder so it’s ready for future recipes. You could also marinate the chicken in a tsp of the powder mixed with a tsp of oil overnight for added flavour.

Food Ed’s tip Any leftovers would be delicious shredded and mixed through pasta with a generous dollop of creme fraiche and grated parmesan.

over a roasting pan. Cook, skin side up, in the preheated oven for 25–30 mins. Remove from the oven and reduce the heat to 120C/Gas 1/2. Turn the pork over and pour half the lemon juice and all the olive oil over it. Return it to the oven and cook for at least 7 hrs, checking it every couple of hours – it should be sizzling quietly. Ovens vary, so you may want to increase the temperature. 4 Halfway through cooking, spoon off excess fat and squeeze the remaining lemon juice over the meat. About 30 mins before the pork is due to be served, remove it from the oven and increase the heat to 220C/Gas 7. Transfer, skin side up, to a clean ovenproof dish and, when it is hot enough, return it to the middle shelf for 15 mins to crisp up the crackling. Remove from the oven and let rest. 5 Pour off excess fat from the original

pan and add the wine and 175ml water. Simmer gently on the top of the stove for 10mins, scraping up any sticky burnt-on bits from the edges of the pan. Strain the juices through a strainer/sieve and keep warm. Carve the pork into thick slices and serve with some pan juices poured over. Per serving: 534 cals, 19g fat (6g saturated), 0g carbohydrates

Malaysian chicken and potato curry

This is a gloriously aromatic dinner with a creamy richness from the coconut milk. Meanwhile, the potatoes soak up all the spicy gravy in the nicest possible way SERVES 4 PREP 5 MINS COOK 1 HR 10 MINS FOR THE CURRY POWDER: ✱ 1 star anise ✱ 1tsp fennel seeds ✱ 4 cloves ✱ 1tbsp ground coriander ✱ 2tsp ground cumin ✱ 1tsp ground white pepper ✱ 2tsp ground cinnamon ✱ 1tsp ground turmeric ✱ 1tsp chilli powder ✱ 1/2 nutmeg, finely grated FOR THE CURRY ✱ 2 lemongrass stalks ✱ 3tbsp oil ✱ 2 onions, finely chopped ✱ 2 garlic cloves, chopped ✱ 2cm piece of fresh ginger, peeled and finely chopped ✱ 8 chicken thighs ✱ 400ml canned coconut milk ✱ 4 kaffir lime leaves ✱ 1 cinnamon stick ✱ 8 small new potatoes

1 Make the curry powder. Grind the star anise, fennel and cloves in a mortar and pestle. Add the other spices. Set aside. 2 Peel the lemongrass. Finely chop the white parts of the stalks; discard the rest. 3 Heat the oil in a flameproof casserole dish. Add in the onions, garlic, ginger and lemongrass and fry gently for 5 mins. 4 Mix the curry powder with 2-3tbsp water. Add to the onion mix and fry for 3 mins. Add the chicken, coating it. Add the coconut milk, 100ml water, salt, lime leaves and cinnamon. Bring to the boil, reduce the heat, cover, cook for 30 mins. 5 Add the potatoes and cook, covered, for 30 mins until the chicken is cooked through and the potatoes are tender. Per serving: 629 cals, 42g fat (21g saturated), 24g carbohydrates RECIPES & PHOTOS: Mortar & Pestle, by Ryland Peters & Small (£9.99, Ryland Peters & Small)

WOMAN

We’re Facebook

FAMOUS

With a growing army of over-50s starting their own businesses, we speak to two ‘olderpreneurs’ who’ve used social media to become a success

‘MY FOLLOWING QUICKLY BEGAN TO GROW’ Michelle Burgess, 53, lives in Whitstable with her husband, Ian.

At the age of 45, I found myself spiralling into a midlife depression. I had a good career in finance and lived in a lovely home with Ian, my husband of five years. I was happy and contented, but in 2013 Border terrier Barney that December and I started suffering from excruciating instantly fell in love with his excitable headaches and nausea. I was diagnosed personality. Barney restored my sense with chronic fatigue syndrome, otherwise of purpose, giving me something to wake known as ME. The cause is unknown and up for. Taking him for walks there is no cure. forced me outside, and Very quickly, ME began to take over training him proved a good my life. The constant muscular and joint distraction from my pain. pains rendered me largely inactive, with The following year, I got no desire to even leave the house. With creative and turned one of the difficulty concentrating and little energy, photos I’d taken of Barney I was forced to give up a career I’d spent into an image inspired by two decades building up. Andy Warhol’s Four Marilyns. I was devastated. My I uploaded it to my largely unused job meant everything to Facebook page – and what was me, and suddenly I felt lost – like a huge part of my identity was missing. Aware that I was lacking in confidence and growing more depressed, in late 2013 Ian proposed we get a dog to keep me company while he was at work. The range includes We met 11-week old hypoallergenic doggy dental sticks

just a bit of fun soon turned into something more. ‘You should put this design on a mug,’ one of my friends commented on the picture. Launching my own business wasn’t something I’d thought of, but with the new-found confidence Barney had given me, I decided it would be a great way to further distract myself from my ME. So, in late 2015, I launched Scruffy Little Terrier – an online shop for dog lovers – and set about creating gifts for both hounds and humans, including homeware, clothing and accessories featuring unique designs. Though I’d never been an avid user of social media, I realised its potential in promoting my brand, and created a Facebook and Instagram page. We adopted another scruffy little terrier, Sandy, in May 2016, and I began populating my social-media pages with

‘A BIT OF FUN TURNED INTO MORE’

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Real Life

‘I FELT OLD AND OUT OF TOUCH’ Moira Doherty, 63, lives in Whitfield with her husband, Steve, and two dogs.

In a world dominated by phones, computers and countless social-media platforms, it’s hard to imagine that there’s anyone who doesn’t understand what a ‘like’ or ‘Facebook Live’ is. But, just three years ago, I was one of those people. I’d use Facebook only once a year to give a ‘thank you’ to friends who had wished me a happy birthday. These days, things couldn’t be more different. In the 80s, I embarked on a career in building restoration, travelling the country and refurbishing pubs and restaurants. I loved my job, but in 2006, when I was in my late 40s, my husband Steve and I decided to follow a lifelong dream and move to Spain. Shortly after moving, a friend of mine, who knew I had an eye for detail, asked me to plan a wedding for them. I agreed, and enjoyed it so much, I decided to start up my own wedding-planning agency. I loved it, and most of my work was founded on recommendations, but as the years passed, I began to notice that my younger competitors were increasingly using the relatively new phenomenon of social media to promote their businesses, and were subsequently securing more clients than I was. I had just a handful of friends on Facebook and only just about knew how to update my own status, let alone create a business page or do a sponsored post. For the first time in my life, I felt old and out of touch. Having by now moved back to the UK, and wanting to

learn more about social media, in 2018, at the age of 61, I decided to retrain as a business coach, and learnt how to boost posts, share statuses and upload photos and videos to help promote a business. I found myself loving Facebook – it was such a great tool for new business owners to reach large audiences – and, later that year, I decided to put my new social-media skills to good use. So I launched Life Begins At 45, a business to help other female entrepreneurs promote their businesses online. I was amazed at how fast my following grew from the tips and tricks I’d learnt over the years. I continued to learn as I navigated Facebook, using hashtags to reach new audiences, and scheduling posts. And, after doing my first Facebook Live in September 2019 about business coaching, I felt such a sense of achievement. In less than 18 months, I’ve built an audience of 2,600 women on Facebook, and my Instagram and LinkedIn pages are growing quickly, too. At 63, I’m proof that age is no barrier when it comes to learning new things. Now, I’m not only keeping up with all the 20-somethings using social media, I’m actually teaching them things, and that’s something I’ll never stop feeling proud of.

photos of the three of us, playing, out on country walks and having snuggles, alongside pictures of my gift range. I used relevant hashtags to reach different audiences, posted at least once a day, and my following quickly began to grow. Now I have over 8,000 followers on Instagram and 2,000 likes on Facebook. I never expected to have such a big audience, and it’s still growing every day. I don’t smother myself in make-up or edit my pictures , and I think my followers like that they’re so natural. I’ve come a long way from the woman who lacked confidence and rarely left her home. Now I’m a successful business owner – and I owe it all to my scruffy little terriers. ✱ scruffylittleterrier.com

Moira, 63, can teac h her younger clients a thing or two

WORDS: FIONA KINLOCH. PHOTOS: NISHA JAYNE PHOTOGRAPHY, INSTAGRAM @SCRUFFYLITTLETERRIER, @MOIRADOHERTYBUSINESSCOACH

‘AT 61, I DECIDED TO RETRAIN’

✱ facebook. com/groups/ lifebeginsat45

WOMAN

Ask SUZIE

SHE’S BETRAYED HIM

Eight years ago my daughter brought home the nicest man. We’ve welcomed him into our family and he’s lovely. When they began talking about marriage, he did make one thing clear – he didn’t want children. There’s no trauma in his past to drive him, he’s just a hard-working paediatrician who spends his life saving children’s lives and feels parenthood needs far more commitment than he can give. She was ﬁne with this but, last weekend, she revealed she was pregnant. He was trying hard, but it was clear he wasn’t happy. I know my daughter and there’s no way this was an accident. What can I do?

Suzie says

You can’t fix this, only they can. And whatever they do, it’s going to be hard. If she has taken matters into her own hands, he’s going to find it difficult to trust her again. All you can do is suggest they find a way to have that conversation before more resentment, anxiety and silence grows. They need to find a skilled counsellor they can both trust, to guide them through. A painful few hours now can save heartache later. I’ve counselled people in this situation who soldiered on and years later found it irrevocably harmed their relationship. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy has a register of counsellors; see bacp.co.uk.

My elderly mum won’t visit us

We’d never given in to our children’s wish to have a cat because my mother has said she won’t visit if we get one. During the ﬁrst lockdown, we accepted a pair of kittens from a friend. They not only have kept us entertained, but sane. We’ve had two lockdowns since so we’ve avoided her demand, but it’s crunch time now. The teens said theyhadnodoubtwhichwaytheir

GET IN CONTACT

arsh Wall, ily Dilemmas, 161 M m Fa at e zi Su to e Writ ail with you can send an em London E14 9AP, or om. ksuzie@futurenet.c as to m le ob pr al on your pers Susan Philippa, Linda and Dr to e rit w so al n You ca an email s above or send them es dr ad al st po e th at t.com to woman@futurene with your problem 40

WOMAN

vote goes, and I’m in agreement. Except it’s my elderly mother!

Suzie says

Is this because of a phobia, an allergy or simply she likes having her own way? Phobias and allergies can be treated. Having her own way needs to be challenged. I’m all for the idea that ‘The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few’. Your mother has the right to ask you to cater to her needs. But you and your family also have rights. Tell her she is very welcome to visit. If she has problems to overcome, she should see her GP. Otherwise, you’ll meet her out for coffee.

A counsellor can help guide them through

THEY DON’T DRESS MYGRANDKIDSWELL

My grandchildren are beginning to cause me major stress. I took our son’s two out the other day and the mishmash of things they insisted on was awful! I love my grandchildren and don’t want to upset my daughter-in-law by saying anything, but do you think it would help if I bought them a few outﬁts?

Suzie says

And you know what they’d then do – put the ﬁnal look together in the way they chose, probably stressing you out further! I suggest you cast your mind back to your own childhood. From an early age, you would have mixed and matched, tried on ideas and developed your sense of what goes, and probably driven your own parents up the wall in the process. Your kids did the same, as do your grandchildren. Leave them alone and see it as a work in progress.

PHOTO (POSED BY MODEL): GETTY

Ask the EXPERTS

Solve your family dilemmas with expert advice

Ask DR PHILIPPA

Woman’s GP Dr Philippa Kaye answers your questions

Turning to a sedative for mental health

After trying various medications to deal with my depression, I’m still really affected by it. I have read that privately you can use ketamine to treat depression. Is that true, and does it work?

Philippa says

A clinic in Bristol has started to offer microdosing with ketamine alongside talking therapy for depression and anxiety. Ketamine

HIDING MY SCAR

I had to have an operation and the scar is very red and raised. Is there anything I can put on it to make it go down?

Philippa says

Scars can be very itchy, both on the outside and inside. They continue to remodel and change long after surgery, starting off red before fading over time. Applying medicalgrade silicone tape or using a silicone-based gel can help not just with itching but also ﬂattening the appearance of scars. Keloid scarring is where the scar is thicker and can grow larger than the original wound. Silicone treatment can be helpful for keloid scars as can applying a medical tape containing steroids, or steroid injections.

WORDS: ROSE GOODMAN. PHOTO: GETTY

WAYS TO BOOST YOUR HEALTH THIS WEEK The scientists have spoken! Try these easy ways to achieve a happier, healthier life

is a sedative and it’s thought that using tiny, tiny doses (under controlled conditions) can put the brain into a state where it cannot continue with repetitive thinking, in this case, the repetitive negative thinking associated with depression. Without these negative thoughts the depression would improve, it is hoped. If the studies are successful it may become more widely available.

Worried about COVID vaccine side effects

I’m in my 30s and up until last year have been well, so am low down on the priority list for the vaccine. However, I got COVID in the summer of 2020 and have had long COVID ever since. When I do get called, will the vaccine make it worse?

Philippa says

Whether or not you have had the coronavirus infection, or have long COVID, when you’re offered the vaccine it’s important that you take it. Some people have said that as they are young and unlikely to become unwell they want to avoid it, but as you well know, a percentage of people with the infection will develop long COVID, which can be extremely debilitating. Anecdotally, it’s been reported that patients with long COVID have noticed an improvement in symptoms after the vaccine. It may be that the vaccine resets your immune system, but more research needs to be carried out.

Spot stress

Have you suddenly adopted a repetitive habit such as nail biting or pulling your hair? ‘You might be suffering from prolonged stress,’ says Dominique Antiglio, wellness expert at BeSophro (be-sophro.com). She suggests keeping a stress ball at your desk or going for a lunchtime walk to release some energy!

Cancer support

TESTING FOR CERVICAL CANCER MYSELF

Recently, I read that you can have a home smear test – to be honest I don’t understand, how could I give myself a smear?

Philippa says

You can’t! A pilot study was launched in London into home cervical screening to see if it helps increase uptake in women being checked, but it’s not a smear test! It’s a home human papillomavirus (HPV) test, where you insert a long cotton swab into the vagina to test for HPV, which causes the majority of cases of cervical cancer. If the test comes back positive you would then be called in for a speculum examination and test, where cells are taken from the cervix and examined under the microscope. In recent years, even when you go to the surgery to have cervical screening, the samples are ﬁrst examined for the presence of HPV and only if that is found are the cells looked at for cell changes. So it isn’t quite a home smear test, but a home HPV test.

If you or a loved one is living with cancer, Doctors Get Cancer Too (£8.99, Vie), written by our very own Dr Philippa, offers practical advice and information, including symptoms to look out for, what to expect at hospital appointments and how to manage common side effects. It will also help family and friends with giving the support you need.

Low-calorie bagels Love a bagel for lunch but worried about their calorie content? Try these new Wholemeal & Rye Bagel Thins from New York Bakery Co. They contain nearly half the calories of the brand’s standard bagels and are also a great source of ﬁbre (£1 for four, Asda).

WOMAN

Ask LINDA

Woman’s vet, Linda Simon, answers your pet problems

I’M WORRIED THAT MY PET RABBITS MIGHT CATCH MYXOMATOSIS. IS THAT POSSIBLE? es, it’s perfectly possible for pet rabbits to catch myxomatosis. It is highly contagious and often fatal, which is why we recommend pet rabbits should be vaccinated. The disease is found in wild rabbits and as well as direct contact it can be transferred by insects such as mosquitoes and ﬂeas, so a dog or a passing fox could pass the virus on to your pets if they live outside. Ask your vet about vaccination against myxomatosis, as well as the more recent RHD2, a newer strain of rabbit haemorrhagic disease, which is a big killer of wild rabbits in the UK and can also be passed on to pet rabbits.

Pet rabbits are at risk, but you can take steps to protect them

hile each cat will have its own litter-tray habits, passing stool this frequently is not normal. Similarly, cat poo should be ﬁrm enough that we can pick it out of the tray without it leaving a wet patch behind. While no

Frequent visits to the litter tray should be investigated 42

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poo smells pleasant, an extra-foul smell can be a sign that something is going on. A vet check is sensible and the vet may well analyse the poo. There are many potential causes for this problem, including an infection, inﬂammatory bowel disease and food allergies. At home, you can make sure your cat is on a high-quality diet and up to date with their wormer. A daily probiotic is also a good idea to support gut health.

‘IT COULD BE FOOD ALLERGIES’

I GOT A LIFE VEST FOR MY TOY POODLE. IS IT SILLY TO USE IT IN A PADDLING POOL? ot at all! Owners are using life vests more and more to teach their dogs to swim and add an extra element of safety. Life vests are especially good for getting younger dogs used to water, while you wade along beside them in a shallow pond or paddling pool. It must be securely ﬁtted and you can get your dog used to wearing it when on dry land. Use lots of praise and treats to encourage them. Most poodles have a natural affinity for swimming, so tend to learn quickly. Swimming in a paddling pool is especially nice in summer, helping you both keep cool in your garden!

PHOTOS: GETTY

Is it normal for my British Shorthair to poo ﬁve times a day? It is often sloppy and very smelly

Ask SUSAN

Expert solutions for your sex and relationship dilemmas E

How do I tell him I won’t go down?

I’ve always had a problem doing oral sex. Thing is, as a child I nearly drowned in the local swimming pool. Even now I can’t bear having my mouth too full or being unable to breathe. But this means I can’t kiss with tongues, and oral sex is really scary for me. Now I’m dating again after the end of a long marriage – but I would feel embarrassed explaining all this to a potential partner.

CAN AN ORGASM RELIEVE CRAMPS?

Susan says

Don’t be embarrassed. This problem is very real, caused by a truly frightening event. So explain that to any new man – good ones will sympathise and realise that some kinds of sex are off limits. Also, agree a signal (maybe a special touch) to use if you feel anxious and need to stop during a particular sex act.

My sexual desires, come to life?

Over the years, my periods have got more and more painful. Even now that I’m nearly menopausal, I need to take painkillers to manage every month. But recently, a friend told me that pleasuring yourself to orgasm can help. Really?

Susan says

Yes, really! Any kind of lovemaking – especially if it leads to orgasm – can release pain-killing hormones. In fact, self-pleasuring is sometimes recommended to women giving birth, as it can reduce the pain of labour. For period pain in particular, some studies reckon that arousal can give relief for up to an hour. This doesn’t help everyone, but it’s deﬁnitely worth experimenting.

Lately, I keep creating fantasies about having sex with a professional massage therapist. I imagine the guy gives me a relaxing massage, then I seduce him, we make out on the massage table, and I book him whenever I want to have sex. I can’t get it out of my head. So what’s going on? And should I try to make it happen in real life?

I suspect that you’re longing for a sensuous man to make you feel good, but with no strings attached – someone you can have great sex with, as and when you want. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But the scenario you describe is against professional ethics, and any massage therapist you tried to seduce would likely say a clear no, then stop seeing you. So I wouldn’t try to make this happen in real life. Much better to ﬁnd a partner who’d be keen to act out the fantasy with you at home!

PHOTOS (POSED BY MODELS): GETTY, ANGELA SPAIN

LIBIDO HAS PLUMMETED – HELP!

My husband and I have been together for decades and love each other deeply. But suddenly, two years ago, I stopped wanting sex at all – not just with him, but with anyone. Problem is, he’s still keen and every few months he suggests we make love, then is terribly hurt when I say no. How can I stop rejecting him?

Susan says

Are you really rejecting him? The fact that he keeps asking you for sex and you keep saying no may seem to both of you like a rejection. But the fact your desire died suddenly, and that you love

each other deeply, suggests this isn’t an emotional problem between the two of you, but a physical one for you individually. Explain this to your husband and then, with his support, get your doctor on side to track down what’s wrong.

ROUTES TO GETTING WHAT YOU BOTH WANT What if sex is great but you each have different favourite moves? Don’t default to doing what only one of you likes. Here’s how to get the best of both worlds.

Combine

Include some of what you each want in every sex session. So do your fave position in his fave location. Or mix his liking for oral with yours for quickies. Two faves together are better than one.

Alternate

Take half an hour of what you prefer, then half an hour of his choice. Or switch, day on day. Each of you gets your ideal 50% of the time, and is happy to oblige for the other 50%.

Gamble

Some nights, don’t choose. Instead, ﬂip a coin, roll the dice or open your best-loved sex book at random and do whatever’s described on that page.

WOMAN

Travel ideas for when life gets back to normal

With royal gardens and graceful temples, the Olympic host country is a winning destination

WORDS: FIONA MCKIM. PHOTOS: ALAMY

TOKYO DREAMS

One of the world’s largest cities, Tokyo mixes an ultra-modern lifestyle while celebrating tradition. Top of anyone’s sightseeing list, the Imperial Palace Gardens, is a Zen-like spot. Stroll in the manicured gardens, see koi carp in the ponds, and admire the colourful ﬂowers. Beyond the gardens, the city’s fastpaced culture whirls on, with Pachinko gaming arcades, wacky vending machines and quirky shops. Don’t miss Shibuya Crossing, where people from all directions scramble to cross the busy intersection, or the kooky Harajuku district, where locals parade in Shibuya Crossing is a wild costumes. pedestrian’s delight

in the heart of Tokyo

WOMAN

Noodles & cocktails

For cheap and nourishing meals, try Tokyo Station’s famed food hall, Ramen Street. Here, one of the automated machines will deliver a bowl of tasty noodle broth for about £8. Expect to be slurping alongside the city’s suited ‘salary men’. In the evening, Shinjuku’s Park Hyatt, aka the Lost in Translation bar, is unmissable for a glamorous sunset cocktail. It’s a pricey place to eat, so save your yen and sample charcoal-grilled yakitori in the smoky back alleys behind Shinjuku Station. Finish with a Hibiki whisky nightcap in nearby Golden Gai, an atmospheric warren of tiny bars.

HAKONE HILLS

When you tire of Tokyo’s bright Tokyo Imperial lights, it’s easy to Pala ce is a place explore other parts of real beauty of Japan, thanks to the Shinkansen, or bullet train. In just over half an hour you can be in Odawara, surrounded by Alpine-style mountains. From the station, pick up a local bus into the Hakone valleys, a volcanic landscape with mineral-rich waters that supply the relaxing hot springs. You can also stretch your legs on a walking trail by the old Hakone Checkpoint, which takes in views of Mount Fuji, hop on the scenic mountain railway or sail across Lake Ashi. For art lovers, Hakone Open-Air Museum has indoor pavilions showcasing Picassos and modern sculptures.

Kyoto temples

The ancient capital of Kyoto is also easily accessible by bullet train. With more than 10,000 shrines, bamboo forests and geisha traditions, it’s considered Japan’s cultural heart. One of the loveliest shrines is Fushimi Inari, with iconic red entrance gates and a trail that disappears into mist-covered woodlands, dotted with mini shrines and animal statues. For a change of atmosphere, visit Gion’s backstreets, populated by beautiful geishas and ultra-exclusive wooden teahouses. The Nishiki food market is a perfect place to sample Japanese treats.

OSAKA STREET FOOD

Japan’s second city is often overlooked by visitors, but a growing reputation for worldclass street food could change this. As well as being ‘Japan’s Kitchen’, Osaka is renowned for its buzzy energy, particularly in downtown Dotonbori. Among the neon billboards and karaoke bars, street vendors rustle up greatvalue delicacies: try okonomiyaki, a filled savoury pancake; kushikatsu, breaded meat and veg skewers; and buttery soft Kobe beef – all washed down with icy Asahi beer.

Japan for beginners

✱ DO Slurp your noodles and soup – it’s not just acceptable, but actively encouraged. ✱ DO Use travel passes. Transport can be pricey, but the JR Pass for bullet and local trains, and the Hakone Free Pass are great value. ✱ DO Rent a pocket Wi-Fi device if you rely on Google Maps to get around. ✱ DO Buy an adaptor before you go as they’re surprisingly tricky to find once you’re there. ✱ DON’T Tip in restaurants. It isn’t the done thing and you’ll be chased with your ‘forgotten’ change. ✱ DON’T Overpack. Laundry services are everywhere and very affordable.

Details Get a glimpse of Mount Fuji from the Shinkansen train

✱ British Airways: London to Tokyo, from £517; London to Osaka, from £533 return; ba.com, 0844 493 0787. Always check the latest travel advice before booking a trip

Real Life

The picture that means

SO MUCH

Shocked by her own reflection, Toni Spurgeon decided it was time to change

rapping my arm around my youngest son Alfie, then 11, I called on my husband Barry, then 37, to take a picture of me with the birthday boy. It was November 2019, and before now my larger-than-average frame had meant that I’d often shy away from the camera. But after losing almost a third of my body weight in just eight months, I was only too happy to show off the new look that I’d worked so hard for.

The battle with my weight began in my late teen years when steroids to manage my asthma resulted in excess weight gain. My 5ft 5in frame increased from a size 10 to a 14. Then, at 20, I fell pregnant with my first son, Tyler, and craving chocolate and biscuits throughout my pregnancy, I put on a further 4st by the time he was born in June 2000. I’d never considered myself to be unhealthy or overweight, but as Tyler grew, I realised that simply running after him in the garden was becoming difficult.

Then, one day in 2010, Tyler, then 10, gasped at me in disbelief. ‘Mummy, are you having another baby?’ he said. I tried to laugh it off and told him he was mistaken, but I was mortified. Still, it wasn’t enough to make me change and I instead began wearing baggy black clothes to hide my weight. It wasn’t until 2012, while undressing at a tanning shop, that I caught sight of myself in a long mirror and was devastated by how big I’d become. It was the first time I’d really looked at myself properly, and I didn’t like what I saw. A slimline Toni, I booked in to see my posing with Alfie GP, who warned me about on his 11th birthday my dangerously high BMI and suggested I try a weight-loss plan with WW (formerly Weight Watchers). In the first month, I lost a stone and it was That September, I went the motivation I needed. As the months to my first meeting and passed, the weight continued to drop off. I when I saw that I weighed began to fit into clothes I hadn’t worn for 16st, I felt so ashamed. years and the wheezing and breathlessness Immediately I set about ceased as my asthma came under control. making changes to my diet Just eight months later, in May 2013, and lifestyle. I cut down I reached my target weight of 10st 7lb. on portion sizes and Over the next few years I continued to swapped the fried chicken lose more and now I weigh 9st 10lb. for white meat and lots of I feel much more confident, but the salad. Chocolate became most rewarding part is that I’m a better a rare treat and I began mum to my sons as I have so much more to go for a walk during energy. That, and the fact there’s no lunch breaks at my job mistaking me for being pregnant now! as a phlebotomist.

‘MUMMY, ARE YOU PREGNANT?’

WORDS: FIONA KINLOCH

Out of control Over the next five years Barry and I suffered six miscarriages. I turned to sugary treats to help me through each heartache and by the end of 2007, I was a size 18. When I gave birth to Alfie in November 2008, I was more unhealthy than ever. Even walking upstairs left me gasping for breath and I couldn’t go anywhere without my Ventolin inhaler. But I just couldn’t control my appetite. I could easily devour a bucket of fried chicken or steak and chips meant for two.

Toni before her weight loss

Motivated to change

WOMAN

Dare to go DAR Soften a moody colour scheme with rich jewel shades and metallic touches

Candle, £25, Joe Browns Accent chair, £140, Habitat

Bookends, £75, Freemans Mirrored tray, £10, Wilko

COMPILED BY: ESME CLEMO. PRICES CORRECT AT TIME OF WRITING

Floral arrangement, £10, Wilko

Get comfy

Tie the look together with a trio of cushions in your chosen colours. Play mixing velvet fabrics with printed ﬂoral designs. with textures, m

Planter on stand, £20, Joe Browns

Round cushion, £35, Joe Browns

WOMAN

Printed velour cushion, £8, Wilko

Velvet quilted cushion, £8, Wilko

Homes Wilson button-back sofa, £925, cushions, from £8 each, Pill table (in front of sofa), £150 for set of 2, peacock floor lamp, £130, wire mirror, £85, and rug, from £55, all Next

Try inky hues

Add drama to your space with a dark colour scheme on your walls. If jet black doesn’t appeal, try lighter shades of midnight blue and teal. Team these with pops of pink painted furniture for a playful and more su tuous palette.

Berry Pop matt paint, from £16.91 for 1ltr, Dulux

Pool House ﬂat matt paint, from £40 for 2.5ltr, Coat

Oxford Navy chalk paint, £21.95 for 1ltr, Annie Sloan

Enchanted bench stool, £219, DFS

Side table, £199, Freemans

Ceiling light, £179, Freemans Abstract 348 art print (without frame), from £20, Abstract House

Vase, £24.99, Wayfair

Faux sheepskin rug, £25, La Redoute Jardim four-seater sofa, £699, DFS

WOMAN

PUZZLES

NOW 3 PAGES!

SPIRAL XWORD

n ox licking its hoof and a dog rolling on the ground are indications of what according to an Ancient Greek text by Theophrastus? The answer to each clue (apart from the first) begins with the last letter of the preceding answer. The shaded squares will spell out the one-word answer. 1 Large African mammal (5) 2 Egg dish (8) 3 Parisian tower (6) 4 Mischievous Irish elf (10) 5 Facial feature (4) 6 Small insect with pincers (6) 7 Spanish sailing ship (7) 8 Fluid collected by bees (6)

9 Heating device (8) 10 Wireless (5) 11 One of eight children (8) 12 Percussion instrument (10) 13 Cry out (7) 14 Type of nut (9) 15 Teenager (10) 16 Second sign of the zodiac (6)

SUDOKU To solve the puzzle, each 3x3 box, each column and each row must contain the numbers 1 to 9.

WORD JUMBLE

ccording to Tom Lehrer, an announcement made in Oslo on 16 October 1973 marked the end of what? Unscramble each group of letters to discover six literary genres. Now fit them across the grid and you’ll spell out the answer to the question.

1 NEW REST 2 NO CREAM 3 MY TYRES

WOMAN

4 HER TRILL 5 GYRATED 6 ICE VETTED

Puzzles

JUMBO XWORD

ead down the letters in the shaded squares to spell out a popular type of biscuit (10)

ACROSS

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Sheltered port (7) Declaration (12) Area of fruit trees (7) Flash of electricity (5) Small painted portrait (9) Whinge (8) Donations (13) Requested (5) Easily upset (9)

Answer: WEATHER

ANSWERS

DOWN

10 Showing curiosity (10) 14 Having lost some weight (7) 21 Stargazers (11) 22 Founded (11) 26 Continent (6) 27 Not sleeping (5) 30Volume of maps (5) 32 Type of takeaway (6) 33 Comprehension (13) 34 Possessor (5)

38 Amazement (12) 40Topsy-turvy (6,4) 43 Supporting structure (9) 44Sleep throughout the winter (9) 46Cowhide (7) 48 Said again (8) 50Theme (7) 51 Fierce love (7) 55 Glued (5) 56 Digging implement (5)

JUMBO XWORD Shaded solution: SHORTBREAD

11 Bearing (6) 12 Toxic (9) 13 Very small (6) 15 Male sibling (7) 16 Restless (9) 17 Wicked (4) 18 Athletes (7) 19 Terribly sad (6) 20Eg Pacific and Indian (6) 23 Body of water (3) 24 Spacemen (10) 25 Stage performers (6) 28 Concluding section of a book (9) 29 Block letter (7) 31 Allow to enter (5) 35 In error (8) 36 Synthetic material (5) 37 Scottish region (8) 39 Indefinite (5) 41 Huge (7) 42 Vitally important (9) 45 Nearer (6) 47 Held back (10) 49 Single (3) 52 Haphazard (6) 53 Specimen (6) 54 Week day (7) 57 Dull, heavy sound (4) 58 Reserved, retracted (9) 59 Nightclothes (7) 60Compartment for socks (6) 61 Feeling satisfied (9) 62 Deep gorge (6)

Answer: SATIRE WORD JUMBLE

TURN OVER FOR MORE!

SPIRAL XWORD

SUDOKU

BOOKS&PUZ

TRICKY CROSSWORD!

ANSWERS

hat connects musician Simon Le Bon and actor Dame Julie Walters? To find out, solve the crossword then read down the shaded squares to find the four-word answer.

DOWN 1 Love Island, 2 Whittaker, 3 Seek, 4 Late, 5 Magician, 7 Aunt, 8 Improbable, 9 Tried, 10 Naming, 11 Ceremony, 12 Skated, 19 Opulent, 23 Scrapbook, 24 Kestrel, 26 Afraid, 27 Omen, 29 Bachelor, 31 Snowdrop, 33 Brilliant, 34 Siren, 36 Bridget, 37 Rhythm, 41 Basmati, 42 Hero, 46 Delia Smith, 47 Pythagoras, 50/52 Nicholas Lyndhurst, 53 Coventry, 55 Grease, 57 Olivia, 59 Carve, 62 Lids, 63 Icon, 64 Stag. SOLUTION: HAVE WORKED IN HOSPITALS

ACROSS

E V O L U O Y IF S E Z I R P TO WIN VISIT N E H .uk T o c . e n i z a g a m mps.woman

ACROSS 1/6 Lewis Hamilton, 4 Lamb, 13 Vainest, 14 Gherkin, 15 Prism, 16 Iota, 17 Create, 18 Wooden, 20 Lake, 21 Avoid, 22 Praise, 25 Narrator, 28 Symbol, 30 Large, 32 Aberdeen, 34 Second, 35 Spot, 38 Raisin, 39 Worse, 40 Throne, 43 Dale, 44 Warren, 45 Overtake, 48 Erase, 49 Moping, 51 Normally, 54 Strict, 55 Gecko, 56 Inch, 58 Locust, 60 Remote, 61 Thug, 65 Verdi, 66 Instant, 67 Caterer, 68 Amethyst, 69 Hymn, 70 Gates.

1/6 British Formula One driver who was recently knighted (5,8) 4 Young sheep (4) 6 See 1 Across 13 Most proud of one’s appearance (7) 14 Pickled cucumber (7) 15 Block of glass that produces a rainbow effect (5) 16 Very small amount (4) 17 Invent (6) 18 Made of timber (6) 20E.g. Superior or Victoria (4) 21 Evade (5) 22 Commend highly (6) 25 One who tells a story (8) 28 Emblem (6) 30Not small (5) 32 Scottish city (8) 34 Runner-up’s place (6) 35 Blemish (4) 38 Dried grape (6) 39 Not as good (5) 40Monarch’s seat (6) 43 _ Winton, late TV presenter (4) 44Colony of rabbits (6) 45 Pass on the road (8) 48 Rub out (5) 49 Feeling miserable and

bored (6) 51 Usually (8) 54 Stern (6) 55 Small tropical lizard (5) 56 Unit of length (4) 58 Destructive insect (6) 60Distant, far-off (6) 61 Hooligan (4) 65 Italian composer, Giuseppe _ (5) 66 Occurring immediately (7) 67 One who provides food (7) 68 Purple gemstone (8) 69 Musical piece sung in churches (4) 70 Airport departure doors (5)

DOWN

1 ITV dating reality series (4,6) 2 Jodie _, Broadchurch actress (9) 3 Hide and _, children’s game (4)

4 Delayed (4) 5 Conjuror or wizard (8) 7 Parent’s sister (4) 8 Not very likely (10) 9 Attempted (5) 10 Christening (6) 11 Formal ritual (8) 12 Glided on ice (6) 19 Rich and luxurious (7) 23 Album of cuttings (9) 24 Small bird of prey (7) 26 Frightened (6) 27 Portent (4) 29 Unmarried man (8) 31 White flower that blooms in spring (8) 33 Dazzling (9) 34 Loud warning noise (5) 36 Fictional diarist _ Jones (7) 37 Regular beat (6) 41 Type of rice (7) 42 Champion (4) 46Celebrity chef and TV presenter (5,5)

47 Ancient Greek philosopher and mathematician (10) 50/52 Actor who played Rodney Trotter in Only Fools and Horses (8,9) 53 City in central England (8) 55 Film musical starring John Travolta (6) 57 Popular girl’s name (6) 59 Slice meat (5) 62 Tops of jars (4) 63 Sacred image (4) 64Male deer (4) Editorial Complaints We work hard to achieve the highest standards of editorial content, and we are committed to complying with the Editors’ Code of Practice (https:// www.ipso.co.uk/IPSO/cop.html) as enforced by IPSO. If you have a complaint about our editorial content, you can email us at woman@futurenet.com or write to us at Woman, 161 Marsh Wall, London E14 9AP. Please provide details of the material you are complaining about and explain your complaint by reference to the Editors’ Code. We will endeavour to acknowledge your complaint within five working days and we aim to correct substantial errors as soon as possible.

ZZLES PERFECT ON PAPER

by Gillian Harvey (£8.99, Orion, PB) Clare Bailey thought she was happy. On paper she has it all. So, why does she feel invisible to everyone? Realising she has been taken for granted, when she is given the chance to turn her life upside down, she wonders whether she should risk it all for a different kind of life. This book says a lot about following your dreams. The perfect escapist read.

THIS WEEK’S HOT READ For more books information, see goodtoknow.co.uk/ books

The Wolf Den

by Elodie Harper (£16.99, Head of Zeus, HB) Here we are on the dusty, noisy streets of Pompeii in this no-holds barred novel of what life was like for the ‘she-wolves’. Amara was once a beloved daughter of a doctor. Now she is a slave in the famous brothel, Lupanar. Eager to escape she never stops looking for opportunities for a way out. Despite its themes, this is utterly spellbinding.

The Night We Met

by Zoë Folbigg (£8.99, Head of Zeus, PB) From his first glimpse of exotic Olivia, shy and lonely Daniel can’t get her out of his mind. This love story of two people destined to be together spans the years, jumping from present to past as it charts crossed paths and finding a soulmate. Their relationship finally blossoms. Life can be bittersweet, though, and their joyful love story is interrupted and infused with heartbreak.

WORDS: ZOE WEST. PHOTOS: GETTY

The Maid’s Disgrace

by Emma Hornby (£6.99, Transworld, PB) After her mistress tragically dies, Phoebe finds herself living amongst thieves and drunks on the poverty-ridden streets of Manchester, searching for work as a domestic maid. Can a chance meeting with an officer, Victor Hayes, who has been removed from duty, help turn things around for her – and what sacrifices will she have to make to rebuild her life? A captivating read.

STARSCOPE

Your stars for 25-31 May by Penny Thornton ARIES 21 Mar – 20 Apr

Make sure you try to get agreements signed and sealed before the weekend. And don’t take offence if someone has to pull out of an arrangement. Least said, soonest mended. For your reading 09058 172557

☎

TAURUS 21 Apr – 21 May

LIBRA 24 Sep – 23 Oct

Sometimes, there is no way to put a sweet spin on a bad situation. Far better to draw a line in the sand and move on to more fertile territory. For your reading 09058 172563

☎

SCORPIO 24 Oct – 22 Nov

Remember, money isn’t everything, and it’s most certainly not worth damaging a relationship for. So, leave your emotions out of it, and yourself on the right side of history. For your reading 09058 172558

Matters could come to a head on Wednesday. So, well before, figure out how best to play the situation and emerge smelling of roses. Don’t press the self-sabotage button. For your reading 09058 172564

GEMINI 22 May – 22 Jun If you know a relationship is over, then now would be the time to make it official. But nicely. Actions taken in the heat of the moment have inconvenient consequences. For your reading 09058 172559

SAGITTARIUS 23 Nov – 21 Dec Wednesday’s total lunar eclipse in your sign is a defining moment. It could well be time to say: I do or don’t; I will or won’t. Just make sure you think it through first. For your reading 09058 172565

☎

CANCER 23 Jun – 23 Jul

If there’s an elephant in the room, then start addressing it. Once you do, you’ll be surprised how easily it can be handled. Keep a lid on your emotions, though. For your reading 09058 172560

☎

LEO 24 Jul – 23 Aug

A deadline could be approaching. Focus on what must be done rather than hoping fate will sort it. There’s nothing you can’t do when you set your mind to it. For your reading 09058 172561

☎

VIRGO 24 Aug – 23 Sep

Push may have come to shove, so rather than wait for others to act, make your statement of intent. Discover how it feels to be the one with the power. For your reading 09058 172562

☎

CAPRICORN 22 Dec – 20 Jan

You may not be seeing the full picture. So, before you make an irrevocable move, recheck the facts. What appears to be a full stop could be a pit stop. For your reading 09058 172566

☎

AQUARIUS 21 Jan – 19 Feb

Whatever pressure you’re under, be sure to take your time. With Saturn on hold in your sign, this is not the best week to run a red light or tell someone where to go. For your reading 09058 172567

☎

PISCES 20 Feb – 20 Mar

The ministry of disinformation is at work, so take nothing at face value. It may be time to end a commitment, or a situation could well merely be in transition. For your reading 09058 172568

☎

Starlines are updated every Saturday. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network access charge and last about four minutes. Users must be 18+. You must have the bill payer’s permission. Service provider: Spoke. Helpline: 0333 202 3390. PSYCHIC SERVICES Contact our team for intuitive guidance… Text WOMAN, followed by a space, your date of birth (DD/MM/YY) and your question to 85100. Texts cost £1.50. Maximum three replies for complicated questions. 18+ bill payers only. Entertainment service provided by ISOMOB Ltd. We cannot discuss health, pregnancy or financial issues. We may send free promotional messages. To opt out of marketing messages text STOP to 85100. Helpline: 0161 726 5432.

WOMAN

The Alpaca

EXPERIENCE

n my 55th birthday, I finally decided to start living my dream. For some people, that would mean travelling around the world – for others, it might be moving to the country. For me, it was buying a herd of alpacas.

My love for alpacas had grown over many years. I’d seen pictures of them in books and watched TV programmes about them, but then an Alpaca Centre opened up near me and I went to visit. One look and I was hooked. It was those huge dark eyes and long eyelashes, the cute fringe and camelid lips, all on a head sitting atop a crazily long neck. These beautiful, quirky creatures made me smile, and sometimes laugh out loud. I found being around them calming, too. At the Alpaca Centre, you could take one for a walk. I did this several times, and that was what made up my mind. I wanted to share that calm. Before long, I had sold up and set myself up on a tiny island. Despite its remoteness, it was a popular holiday destination, and there were no other alpaca ventures in the area. I did lots of research, wrote a business plan and, most exciting of all, bought six alpacas. I loved looking after them, but it was a lot to take on. So when my next-door neighbour asked if she could help me at weekends, I jumped at the chance. Laura was tall, lanky, bubbly and huge fun. We had a laugh looking after our little herd and, when the work was done, she’d come in for a cup of tea and regale me with the local gossip. As a newcomer, I had a lot to catch up on. The nosy postmistress who had been caught steaming open letters, the torrid affair between the window cleaner and the vicar’s wife, and the ongoing war

between the neighbours who kept accusing each other of filling up each other’s dustbins. It was gripping stuff. ***** One morning, Laura arrived bursting with news she couldn’t keep until our tea break. ‘You’ll never guess!’ she beamed as we were cleaning out the barn. ‘OK, then, I won’t try,’ I said. I can be a bit dry sometimes. ‘Go on, spoilsport,’ said Laura. ‘It’s more fun if you’ve tried and got it wrong before I tell you.’ ‘OK – the vicar’s wife is pregnant…’ Laura looked shocked. ‘No! She’s 54!’ ‘Miracles happen – as well as IVF.’ ‘Why would she want to have a baby with the man she’s having a secret affair with?’ I sighed and rolled my eyes as I grabbed an armful of fresh hay. How had a guessing game ended up here? ‘So what has happened?’ ‘I’ll tell you over a cuppa,’ Laura said a bit huffily. I think my mentioning IVF had taken out some of the ‘fun’. ***** Once we were in front of our steaming cups of tea, and halfway through our biscuits, Laura launched in… ‘There’s going to be a big TV shoot on the island, starting next week!’ She stared at me with wide eyes, as if this piece of information was so amazing I should faint or, at the very least, choke on my biscuit. I did neither. I didn’t watch much TV, so wasn’t that intrigued. And I’d never been good at hiding my feelings. ‘Well – aren’t you going to ask me what it is, who’s in it, where they’re filming and when we can go and get autographs?’

‘HE’S NOT CUTE! HE’S DYING!’

WOMAN

‘I can if you like.’ ‘Oh, don’t bother!’ huffed Laura, snatching the custard cream I had my eye on. ‘Sorry, Laura, I am interested… please tell me.’ ‘OK,’ she said, sitting up straight again and directing her gaze at me. ‘It’s called Going Strait – you know, after the strait between here and the mainland – and it’s about an ex-criminal who comes to live on the island and becomes a detective. Do you get it? Strait and straight – it’s a play on words.’ Laura looked at me expectantly. ‘Interesting,’ I nodded, with slightly glazed eyes. ‘You don’t seem very interested.’ ‘I am – a bit…’ ‘Well, even if you’re not, you will be when I tell you who’s in it…’ She paused and held her breath. ‘Go on – you’ll pass out if you don’t.’ ‘Daley Preston!’ she replied triumphantly. ‘Who’s he?’ I tend to be over-honest as well. ‘You know! He’s in Hospital Watch… Cat Man. He’s super-handsome and a brilliant actor – and he’s coming here!’ ‘Great!’ I said. ‘We badly need some publicity for the business. He might do a photo shoot or something…’ ‘Exactly!’ said Laura. ‘And then I can get his autograph. Can you please take those biscuits away from me?’

The business had been her dream – but suddenly it looked like she might lose everything

Short Story

The biscuits removed, we worked out the exact wording of the email I was going to send to Daley Preston. I felt excited. It was an offer he couldn’t refuse. ***** But he could. I received a curt reply the next day, saying he was far too busy. Angry, I binned his email. How could he be so rude? Not just to me but to my darling alpacas! Throwing myself into looking after the herd, I carried on organising the alpaca walks I offered to local schools and community groups. I didn’t want to hear the name Daley Preston ever again. ***** A few days later, I was plunged into a crisis much deeper than being snubbed by a minor TV celebrity. The dream I had been living seemed to be turning into a nightmare. It started when I was sweeping the yard. I heard ‘alpaca humming’ coming from the barn. I knew when the animals made this sound that it was a sign of fear or anxiety, so I dropped everything and rushed across the yard. Entering the barn, I gasped. One of the pregnant alpacas had gone into labour a month early. I texted Laura, asking her to come at once. It only took her a few minutes to get to me from next door but, by that time, the baby alpaca had been born. He lay limp in the straw, too weak to stand.

‘Aah! Cute!’ said Laura when she arrived. ‘He’s not cute! He’s dying!’ ‘Sorry, sorry!’ babbled Laura, her eyes filling with tears. ‘How can I help?’ ‘Ring the vet and tell him to come. I think this cria might need a plasma transfusion.’ ‘Cria? Is that what you’ve called him?’ ‘No! That’s the name for a baby alpaca.’ ‘Oh, I see,’ said Laura, dialling the vet’s number. The vet came within an hour and confirmed that Evan did indeed need a transfusion if he was to survive. I had named the cria Evan while we were waiting for the vet because he (the cria, not the vet) looked like the TV presenter Evan Davis. I was relieved there was a chance of saving Evan, but I didn’t have the money for the procedure. I had already borrowed every penny I could, and I’d foolishly let the insurance lapse. This could break us. As the vet took Evan away for emergency treatment, with promises from me that I would settle the bill later, my brain was in turmoil. What to do? The only strategy I could think of was to send Laura to the off-licence for a bottle of wine while I desperately tried to come up with a way of raising the cash. But it was Laura who saved the day. To my amazement, she returned from the off-licence with a tall, handsome man – not unlike Idris Elba. He was wearing

a smart suit and highly polished brogues. Mud from the farmyard flicked up onto his shoes as he approached the barn. I frowned with worry and uncertainty. Who was he? Laura was beaming. Why? ‘All our problems are solved,’ announced Laura, presenting the good-looking stranger with a flourish. ‘I saw Daley in the off-licence, took my courage in my hands, told him our problem and he has offered to help us out.’ ‘Daley?’ I said. The name rang a bell. ‘Daley Preston! Remember – I told you about him. Going Strait? Filming? Hello?’ I was stunned. This was the man who had refused to do a photo shoot to help a new business. Now he was holding out his hand and looking at me with a winning smile. ‘Pleased to meet you, Mary.’ I looked at my hand. It was covered in straw and mud. And Daley laughed. ‘I heard you have a sick baby alpaca. I’d like to help. I love alpacas.’ ‘But your email…’ ‘I’ve already asked Daley why he refused the photo shoot,’ Laura butted in. ‘He didn’t know anything about it.’ ‘Yes,’ said Daley. ‘I’m afraid I have a PA who’s like a guard dog. She handles all my work emails. But I’d like to make it up to you by paying for the baby alpaca’s treatment.’ ‘Oh,’ I said, full of feelings, but short on words. I felt grateful, relieved and a tiny bit in love. Daley filled the silence. ‘Could I see the alpacas?’ ‘Of course,’ I said. ‘But the sick one is with the vet.’ Daley and I walked over to the barn. ‘I’m sorry about the mud,’ I said, looking at his shoes. ‘That’s OK,’ he replied. ‘I’ve finished filming. In fact, I go home tomorrow.’ Then he stopped and turned to me. ‘Although I might change my plans and take a few days’ holiday.’ I looked at him blankly. I could be a woman of few words at times. ‘Maybe I could even walk with one of the alpacas? I believe you offer an Alpaca Experience…’ ‘Of course,’ I said, and I think I managed to smile, although I actually felt like hugging him. I felt so at ease in Daley’s company. He had such a calming quality about him. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him that he was rather like an alpaca in that respect. But then I thought I just might. After all, I couldn’t think of a higher compliment. THE END Amanda Swift, 2021 WOMAN

WE BRING YOU THIS WEEK’S LATEST TV NEWS

6SECO0ND

INTERVIEW

BEAR GRYLLS

he survivalist and adventurer takes another celebrity on a Wild Adventure. This time, Olympic boxer Nicola Adams joins him on the tough terrain of Dartmoor in Devon. Here, Bear tells us more…

Boxer Nicola Adams joins Bear Grylls on a Wild Adventure

What was the weather like in Dartmoor? Winter time in Dartmoor is unforgiving, especially in storm conditions. We had some tough weather, but despite the fact that Nicola had never done anything like this before she had such a positive attitude and a big smile throughout.

dropped off at the boxing gym. From the beginning she was the only female boxer in the gym and at her school. To then go on and defy so many of the odds to win Olympic Gold is remarkable.

What did you learn about Nicola as you spent time together? She started boxing because her mum needed a babysitter, so she was

What impressed you most about Nicola? Nicola said that she was cold before we had even started, but she never gave up and she showed her champion spirit.

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How do you decide who to approach to do a Wild Adventure? We try to pick people whose stories will inspire. We can all do more than we believe. Nicola’s episode is all about being positive and keeping going. I was proud to journey with her. ✱Bear and Nicola Adams’ Wild Adventure is on ITV

2021

LOOK

Clive Owen stars in Lisey’s Story on Apple TV+ In the ITV drama Chancer (1990-91), Clive found fame as conman Stephen Crane. He went on to receive international acclaim for his role as a struggling writer in the 1998 film Croupier before going on to star in other films such as Gosford Park (2001), Closer (2004) and Sin City (2005). He’s due to star as US President Bill Clinton in the upcoming miniseries Impeachment: American Crime Story.

THEN

1998

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Clive stars in new eight-part thriller Lisey’s Story on Apple TV+. Based on the novel by Stephen King and adapted by the author himself, it tells the story of widow Lisey Landon (Julianne Moore), whose late husband Scott, played by Clive, was a world-famous novelist. The drama begins two years after Scott’s death as a series of unsettling events brings back memories of their marriage that Lisey has deliberately blocked out of her mind.

NOW

On The Box

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Three shows you really need to make a date for this week…

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THE MASKED DANCER ITV Joel Dommett hosts this spin-off of The Masked Singer, which will see 12 celebrities perform unique dance routines in costumes that conceal their identities.

CATCH UP

DAVINA MCCALL: SEX, MYTHS AND THE MENOPAUSE All 4 The presenter talks openly about the menopause in this documentary. She chats to other women and medical experts about the science side of things.

GENIUS: ARETHA Disney+ The drama series returns to chronicle the life of Aretha Franklin, from starting out as a young gospel singer in Detroit, Michigan, to becoming the Queen of Soul.

JOEY ESSEX: GRIEF AND ME BBC1 The former TOWIE star was just 10 years old when his mum, Tina, took her own life. In this deeply moving documentary, he begins therapy to process the grief he has bottled up.

If you missed these shows ﬁrst time around, here’s the best of BBC iPlayer, ITV Hub, All4, My5 and more…

CHARLES & HARRY: FATHER & SON DIVIDED My 5 This one-off documentary explores Prince Harry’s fractured relationship with Prince Charles as royal experts trace its origins back to his parents’ divorce.

BOX SET BINGE WE ARE LADY PARTS All 4 This comedy follows the highs and lows of an all-female Muslim punk band. As the six-part series begins, singer Saira (Sarah Kameela Impey) hopes to recruit nerdy student Amina (Anjana Vasan) as their lead guitarist, but Amina’s more interested in ﬁnding a potential husband so she’s reluctant to sign up at ﬁrst.

P!NK: ALL I KNOW SO FAR Amazon Prime Video This documentary follows P!nk behind the scenes of her record-breaking Beautiful Trauma tour in 2019, as she juggles being a performer, mum, wife and boss.

THE TOMORROW WAR Amazon Prime Video Chris Pratt heads the cast of this sci-fi thriller in which time travellers from the year 2051 arrive to recruit and transport people from the present to join the fight in a war against an alien species. MONSTERS AT WORK Disney + Based on the hit animated film Monsters, Inc., this series follows Tylor Tuskmon (Ben Feldman), who o dreams dreams off working worki king on the Laugh Floor with Mike and Sulley. John Goodman and Billy Crystal return. TIME BBC1 In this three-part drama about life behind bars, Sean Bean plays a prisoner consumed with guilt, while Stephen Graham is the prison officer protecting those in his Sue h h charge. h S Johnston also stars. THE REAL GAMES ES ITV Holly Willoughby a and Freddie Flintoff host this five-part sports s show which follows 12 famou us faces as they comp pete against eac ch other in the athle etics arena, swimming pool and gym.

WO OMAN

View from THE BACK Sam Carlisle says what you’re thinking

What would Ellen ask herself if she was on her own sofa? After many behind-the-scenes claims, you have to question why the star is quitting her TV show

PHOTOS: GETTY, ALAMY, PA IMAGES

llen DeGeneres is a TV legend with 61 Daytime Emmy Awards for her long-running US chat show. She’s Hollywood royalty, her address book basically reads like the Oscars and the Grammys invite lists rolled into one. But now the veteran host has announced she is quitting her show, a year after claims of a ‘toxic environment’ and bullying behind the scenes. An internal review found ‘deﬁciencies related to the show’s day-to-day management’, after which she apologised to her crew and three producers lost their jobs. The veteran host denies the scandal is the reason she’s quitting, but if Ellen were to interview herself, surely she would ask if the two were linked. ‘Ellen, why quit after 19 years of a series? Why not stay for 20? Does this have anything to do with your viewing ﬁgures dropping by one million after the claims? Did advertisers view the show as toxic? Did your celebrity friends distance themselves..?’ The star is adamant that’s not the case, even portraying herself as the victim. She says, ‘I really did think

Silly giggles

I burst out laughing reading that one in ﬁve men reckon they could beat a chimpanzee in a ﬁght – despite the fact chimps could rip off a human’s face. Typical blokes, I thought. But, hang on, in the same survey eight per cent of women bragged they could defeat a lion. Proof that 80 per cent of polls are nonsense.

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The sunny Scarborough seafront awaits!

Staycation madness

TripAdvisor crowned the Toulson Court Bed and Breakfast in Scarborough the best B&B in the world in the Travellers’ Choice Awards. Given the demand for staycations, you can look forward to booking a room there by about 2032… 2032

ek e w e h t f o e t o u Q about not coming back, because it was devastating. It started with attacks on me and attacking everything that I stand for and believe in and built my career around. I am a person who likes to make people happy.’ Hmmm, one last question for you, Ellen: You end every show with the words, ‘Be kind to one another.’ Do you think your audience might just be questioning that?

‘I’M NOT WORRIED ABOUT AGING. YET.’ That word ‘yet’ is everything, Cat Deeley.

Sorry – who?

Lord Sugar was baffled ﬁlming the new series of Celebrity Apprentice Australia. ‘It was a bunch of celebrities and I did not know who they were.’ Now he knows how we feel every year when the Beeb announces the new Strictly line-up.